Hi again you guys, I'm sorry I've pushed the publishing of this chapter a bit, it has been done for some days now but I had a lot to do and all of a sudden I was already writing the next one before realizing I hadn't even published this one yet XD my bad
Anyway... I hope you guys liked the last chapter I posted and still enjoy the building of this story. I realize now that maybe it is going to be a bit longer than I had originally planned but I hope that doesn't set you off ;D
There will be a character in this chapter, Daniel if you remember him? he is the teacher who took care of Arthur at the beginning of term. No, not Tom but the other guy? The one who had tea with him even though Arthur didn't say anything really? I just wanted to give you the heards up in case some of you had forgotten about him :D there is so much going on in this story that I don't blame you :) I have promised some people however that there will be no more confusing OCs ;D just so you know
Hope you like this chapter and leave a comment :D and if you totally hate it... leave a comment and tell me ;_; (L) I want you all to be happy!
Warning: You all should know by now that there are dicks and stuff in this story 8D just reminding you that it IS in fact a yaoi you are reading
Disclaimer: All rights belong to the creators of APH and for them, we all are extremely greatful. (L) and will be forever and ever!
"So how was it?" Jody asked as she came to sit by his side in the corridor, not at all seeming to notice how tired he looked. Or maybe she just ignored it. He smiled slightly and leaned against her side, been sitting on the floor for over two hours and her shoulder was softer than any pillow to him right now.
"Good" he answered after a while, when he knew no one else was listening to their conversation. Why would they? He was gay and now everyone seemed to know so what did he have to lose? He felt bad about the fact that John wasn't out yet though. His life would probably be tough for a while if he came out to everyone, but eventually he would be able to be with someone he would really enjoy spending his time with instead of pretending. If only something would convince him that that would be for the best... But Arthur knew he couldn't be the one to do it... "We talked a bit, had sex and then fell asleep..." he continued and yawned tiredly. "And I left about half passed five this morning... walked here"
"You walked here? From his place?" she asked and sounded shocked but he just nodded and yawned again. Gosh he really needed to sleep some more or he'd die from lack of it. She seemed to understand though because even if she sighed and shook her head, which he could feel though her shoulder, she let her knees drop so that he could rest his head in her lap. "Sleep some... we don't start for about half an hour anyway" she then said and gently let her fingers run through his hair. "I'll wake you, but don't think you're off the hook about this..."
"Thank you Jody"
"Don't make a habit out of it" she smiled and patted him gently, but a bit hesitantly on the cheek. "That's all I ask"
...
Psychology. First thing in the morning. Fuck. But there was nothing he could do but to bite his teeth together and chew. He had handed Tom that paper out of his own free will and even though that might have been foolish of him, he would have to take the consequences.
On his way though the corridor he came across the most adorable sight with his two, at the moment, favorite people, sitting cutely outside their classroom; Jody with her history book opened, reading some homework while her hand absentmindedly was stroking through Arthur's hair, the blond one was apparently sleeping soundly in her lap.
Al waved a bit at her when she looked up and she smiled back at him with her cute face shining. He pointed at the sleeping teen in her lap and she nodded with a grin. None of them needed words to know that Arthur was fucking cute when he slept soundly like that.
He then hurried of to his own classroom where Lauren was waiting for him with a big smile which he returned. She was looking dashing today, probably because of yesterday evening but he didn't want to take all the cred for her being pretty. He gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek before following her into the room, throwing an eye at their teacher who told them both "hi" but didn't seem to be thinking anything different about Al. Hadn't he read the paper he had given him the day before?
Al didn't even know if he was disappointed or relieved at this. He would have found it nice to talk to someone about all the thoughts threatening to tear him apart, but at the same time, it would have been embarrassing if Tom had read it an given him strange looks like if he was disgusting or something. Not that he thought Tom would judge like that, but still. You never know.
The class was divided into pairs, sent away on small missions though the school as soon as class started, and when more and more people started disappearing after their names had been called, Al started realizing that there might be something weird about this. Lauren was picked as one of the first pairs to go and all the others that Al would usually go with where as well. When there where no one but him and two others, they got to go and since they didn't much care for Al, they didn't even notice he was left alone with their teacher.
"Wasn't this a bit obvious?" he asked as the door closed behind the last ones and Tom looked up with a smile form behind his desk.
"I have no idea what you're talking about Al" he smiled and took his glasses of, putting them on the table in front of him. "Come and sit up here?"
Al did as he was told. Or asked, more like it. So Tom had read the letter after all? Well, this was what he had been both dreading and looking forward to so he shouldn't be complaining. Instead, he sat there and waited for his teacher to finish what he was doing. There was no need to rush it, the other students had been told they could take a break when they where done anyway.
"You have a lot of thoughts in there Al" Tom finally said and turned to him with a soft, almost worried smile, fingers pointing at his own temple. "Ever thought that maybe you need to talk to someone about all this..? And then I don't mean about the fact that you feel like having sex with a guy rather than the girl you are dating. But about your father? The way things are at home?"
Al had not been prepared for that question. He had thought they would spend a lot of time talking about his sexual preferences, not the fact that his dad was a damn drunk. He shrugged after a couple of seconds though. "I've lived with it for a while so I don't think much about it, dad keeps to himself anyway so it's not like he is violent or anything, not anymore at least... I don't think he wants to hurt us, so he just stays in his room to keep out of trouble or something"
"And what do you feel about this whole thing with your mother?"
"The fact that she's cheating on him with her boss or something?" When Tom nodded at this Al shrugged again and grinned. "It's her life, and I would have cared more if she got pregnant or something... I mean, at the moment she is just happy and kind of nice, compared to before she started seeing other guys, guess she should get a divorce but no one seems to mind it... If she is happy she doesn't make my life into a hell so I guess for now it's ok. If she found out all this about me and my weird thoughts I think she'd be mad as hell though, lover or no lover"
"Do you really think your thoughts are so weird for a kid your age?" his teacher asked but continued before Al could protest. "And I don't mean that this is some kind of phase you will out grow, I meant that people your age are in the middle of discovering themselves, I found out a lot about myself when I was in school, that my parents might not like about me but I don't see them as weird for that, the things I found out I mean"
"You mean that you are gay?" Al asked boldly, almost expecting a laugh or a glair from the older man. Talking with him like this made it feel like he was more of a friend that a teacher. Maybe he shouldn't have asked him that though. It might be a bit to personal for a student to know about his teacher after all.
"Yes" came the answer though and Al looked up in surprise from where he had been looking down at some books on the table. "That amongst many things... and even though they got really mad at me, threatened to throw me out of I didn't 'change my mind' I didn't let it drag me down or change me. I'm not saying that you should defy your parents or break up with your girlfriend... just saying that if you are not sure, you never devote yourself completely to her, nor be honest with your parents... and it's better being honest to yourself and those around you, than to lie until you don't know what's up and down anymore... because when you've lied too much in your life, you start to forget who you truly are"
...
Francis,
The only reason I am writing you this letter is because of the threat you left at the end of yours. I do not want you to come here, I do not want you to come crawling and this you know. Why you would even try to tell yourself anything different is beyond me, and it sickens me really, to know that you're telling yourself you are innocent in all this. Which we both know deep down that you are not.
I know perfectly well that you could never accept my decisions and that is why I felt the need to move away, not to stay away from you exactly, but to make sure you never get to me again. How you feel about me moving does not concern me and to be honest, I am quite shocked I didn't hear from you sooner. That you ask for forgiveness comes to no surprise to me, but that you seem to believe you still have some power over me is even more shocking than if I where to hear about my mother falling in love with a woman.
And don't you 'My love' me Francis. You lost that privilege as you bashed my face in with that eager fist of yours, or why not when you broke my ribs first or second time? Darling, I can look at myself in the mirror perfectly fine, and don't you dare tell me that I am the one who needs to grow up or change. My reflection is smiling back at me, what do yours do if I might ask? Does it even reflect the person you have become?
Leave me alone Francis. You know you're not welcome and if you where still to come here and ask to talk to me, I will seriously send your sorry ass to a fucking hospital and do you know how little help you will get from a hospital here in the US? That's right. So you better think again before you bloody risk your balls coming here.
Arthur.
He sighed and read the letter thought again and again, finally handing it to Jody who read it through about as many times as he had done before she handed it back to him with a wrinkle of worry between her brows. He hadn't told her much about what the reason for his and Francis' break up had been, but she had guessed here and asked there. This much she had understood from pictures of Arthur which she had found on Facebook mostly.
"You don't think he will be provoked into coming here if you write things like this...?" she finally asked and Arthur felt his stomach dropping. To be honest he didn't know at all how Francis would react to a letter like this. He always used to know how the man would react, back when they where together but he had lost the ability quickly after they broke it off... He might let it go, but that seemed somewhat impossible since the man had been obsessed with the very thought Arthur since years back. "I mean, he seems to think that you're the one to be blamed for what happened..."
"Yeah, that seems to be the case..." he sighed and buried his face in the palms of his hands, shaking his head slightly before pulling ta his blond locks. "But I have to write back to him, it's better if he just writes to me than if he decides to come here and beat me up again..."
"Did he do that a lot...?"
She hadn't dared asking him before and he didn't blame her. Not that it was the best time now when they where sitting in the middle of math class, but he should have just told her earlier and she wouldn't have had to worry about it before. He shook his head and looked down at the letter again, remembering the soft, curved letters on the text he had gotten earlier form his ex lover. Those hands had been so warm to him, so comforting...
"He wasn't a very good drunk..." he half whispered and then smiled at her terrified expression. "He didn't hit me he just... well, he got very horny and sometimes he went and had sex with someone else when I wasn't there. He didn't seem to think that it was such a big deal, since to him, it was just sex and it didn't mean that much anyway..." She looked so upset he had to grin and then took her hand slightly to calm her frantic heart from breaking with anger towards the man she had not even met herself. "I confronted him about it quite some times but he didn't seem to want to do anything about it, he said that he loved me and would never love anyone else but that he didn't care about whom he had sex with and that I shouldn't care either. Stupid as I was, I couldn't leave him of course... But one day I decided I would do the same, just to show him how fucking hurt you get when the one you love choose someone else's body before your own..."
"You cheated on him...?"
He shook his head at the question, blushing slightly. He thought she would have known that about him by now, that he would never do things like that. Especially not when being in a seemingly serious relationship. This, however, didn't make him regret what he had done next any less than he already did.
"I... I told one of his friends that I had had sex with someone else on a party that we both attended, a party that I kind of knew Francis had sex with someone else on as well even though I never got that one confirmed..." he continued and sighed slightly. This letter would have to do. "Of course, as I predicted, Francis' friend went right ahead and told him what I had done... he even said he had seen me do it even though he could not possibly have done so, since none of it happened... unless he could see my imagination"
"Did Francis believe him?" she asked, brows wrinkled and one lip being bitten, nervously.
"Of course he did" he answered and could hear the detest in his own voice, he even had to look away so that she wouldn't see the hurt and blame in his eyes, not the disappointment either of course. "Wouldn't you believe your best friend if he came and told you he had even SEEN it happen?"
"I guess..." she shivered and gently reached out to pat his fingers in a soft act of kindness, the kind of thing only someone as sweet as her would do in a time like this. "But I would at least go to the person it concerned and ask him or her straight out if it was true, if it was someone that dear to me I would have believed what ever the person told me because that's what you're supposed to do. But he got mad?"
"He did indeed..." Silence fell and it was almost a feeling as if in which it felt like the entire classroom was now listening to his story. He didn't much care if that was the case, which it was not, since this was a part of his life which he was trying to tell himself was not his fault. He had been told for so long that it was, that he had to change his entire being if to believe in himself again. "And even though he didn't think sex in general was anything special, he found it very upsetting that I would betray him in that way. I had been hoping he'd call me or at least talk to me before blowing up, that I would be able to deny and tell him that 'see, this is how you make me feel with what you do!' but he didn't call. Instead he pretended as if nothing had happened that day, he avoided me slightly, that I can see now but... I don't know, he invited me to his apartment and then he..."
"Hit you?" she continued his died off sentence and he looked up at her innocent face, smiling slightly to let her know that he was better off now, more ok than he had ever been before.
"Something like that" he then nodded and looked back down at the paper which he was going to send to the man with the blond locks and that annoying stubble. Do you even know how deep you hurt me..? he thought and a melancholic smile flashed though his face and made his arms shiver with goosebumps... the memory of a kiss, a touch of lips so soft he wanted to die from even thinking about it. Do you know how long it took for me to learn how to even breath again from what you did to me?
"I think..." she suddenly said and smiled back at him when he looked up to meet her eyes. "...that you should go home and read this through again, ok? Read it through, maybe tell Al about all of this, he might be able to help you more than I can, now that he knows?"
Arthur couldn't help but laugh slightly at her sweetness, which apparently offended her a bit. "I'm sorry... but I don't think he'll be wanting to help me with an old ex... after all, how can I tell him I was dating my own stepbrother? Not that we where related or anything, and my mother was only seeing Francis' father for a short while... but still, what guy would find it ok for his friend to..."
"Stop thinking like that about Al..." she hurried and bit her lip again since he must have looked annoyed that she had interrupted him. "He wouldn't think ill about you, I'm sure of it. But it was only a suggestion and you can do whatever you want with the letter... I just thought you might want another guy to take a look at it..."
She was offended by the look he had given her, maybe hurt too. He felt bad about it now, since he had been laughing at her as well, even though she had just been trying to help him. He was so confused about what to do and still so upset by all this that he had not been able to hinder himself from frowning. He hadn't meant to hurt her... she must know that, right?
"I'm sorry..." he said weakly and reached for her fingers again, feeling them, so warm against his own, so comforting. She was the type of girl who he could have seen himself dating, if he had been the least bit attracted to the female gender... Maybe he should just try not to have sex and be together with her instead? At least he would be happier than with a swine like Francis. He sure was pathetic... He wasn't looking at her anymore because his eyes where stinging and he didn't want anyone to see, least of all her. But she didn't seem to mind, because she gently closed her fingers around his and gave them a soft kiss before speaking in a low, soft voice close to his ear as she leaned agains his shoulder.
"It's ok Arthur... I know you're upset about this and I'm very grateful that you wanted to talk to me about it" she smiled and let her fingers play a bit with his, entwining them which must almost make them look as if though they where a couple. "If there is anything I can do, please tell me and I will do it"
"Thank you Jody..."
He must have slept the rest of math, because it just felt like he had been closing his eyes for a second when Jody was suddenly shifting next to him, nudging him slightly in the side to get him to do the same. He looked up, slightly confused and realized almost everyone was already out of the classroom, the teacher as well.
"What do we have now?" he asked his friend as she put her books back into her bag and she smiled slightly with her eyes still locked on her books.
"We have a free period since our teacher is sick" she declared and he felt some kind of relief wash over him. At least he wouldn't have to concentrate for the next couple of hours of his life. That would give him time to rest his mind and come back with full power at the end of the day at least. "I have to go and talk to out Psychology teacher about last weeks assignment though..." she added with a blush. She had promised Arthur she'd be done with it by today and apparently she had not been able to keep her promise. He just smiled.
"You go ahead" he nodded and yawned, stretching like a cat. "I think I'll go for a walk around campus or something to get some energy called fresh air into my head" he continued and heaved his bag up on his shoulder. "I've heard that helps against tiredness"
She laughed a little at his humor and they left the classroom side by side. When they had left their heavy books in their lockers, she quickly gave him a soft kiss on the cheek and was off to the room in which Al was still sitting together with his teacher.
...
"But that doesn't change the fact that I don't know if I'm willing to risk my relationship with Lauren just to see if I would enjoy sex with a guy more..?" Al protested to what his teacher had just said. Their conversation had lasted almost an hour now and he had mostly been listening to advice he didn't fully grasp. He was even more confused now than he had been before he had stepped into the room that morning and it was beginning to get on his nerves. Tom however was as calm as Al had ever seen him before, even though he had come out as gay less than forty minutes ago.
"I know it doesn't change anything..." he said calmly and then sighed at the desperate gaze he was given by the younger one. "But let's face it, no matter how much you like the girl, if you where to say, start having feelings for someone else, no matter if it was a guy or a girl, wouldn't that make you want to break up with her?"
"That's what you do when you fall for someone else isn't it..?" Al asked back and buried his face in his hands out of confusion. "Because you can't go on lying to her about loving her when you have feelings for someone else... because cheating is much worse than telling someone the truth, even though telling her the truth might break her heart when you do it?"
"Yes"
"But I am not in love with someone else?"
"That is where you should focus your attention" Tom nodded and smiled sadly towards the seemingly upset kid in front of him. "If you still feel very strongly for her and love her, you should stay with her. But if you feel that there is the slightest chance you might not feel for her as she feels for you and that you never will, it is just as horrible for you to lead her on in that way, as if you where to cheat on her"
"Why..? What if I still want her, just not as much as she wants me...?"
"Well, if you where to ask her 'would you want me to stay with you even though I don't necessarily love you?' what do you think she would say?"
"I.."
"Or maybe, if you asked her what she would say if you told her that you where thinking of men while you where fucking her... How would it make her feel?" interrupted his teacher and Al felt as if though the world was spinning all around him.
"She tells me she has no problem with me thinking about other people while we do it..." he almost whispered and Tom looked at him with seriousness in his eyes.
"And do you believe that this is what she really feel?" he asked back and tilted his head so that he might get a better look at the young one's face. "And when she said that, could she have thought that maybe you would think about a known woman like Angelina Jole or someone like that, not Brad Pit? And if you told her you where thinking about me, for example, when you where having sex with her, wouldn't she feel upset and betrayed by you?"
Al was totally shocked by this but didn't comment on it, which he would have done if he hadn't been feeling like crying at the moment. He felt so damn bad about being like he was towards Lauren. He didn't want her to be sad but what the fuck was he doing, thinking about guys when jerking off to her moans? He hadn't even been paying attention to what she was saying... He had never meant for that to happen and of course he could just deny it for the rest of his life but... it HAD happened and he would never be able to shake the sensation of rough hands against his skin now. Like that dream he had had of Arthur, months back...
"I think..." he finally said and felt his cheeks flush with the sudden realization. "That if I was to tell her exactly what was going on in my mind when I am with her... like that, I would hurt her more than if I was actually cheating on her"
"So what should you do about it?"
The question sounded so simple, yet the answer was so complex that he wanted to break down from it. Instead, he stood up and nodded to himself, eyes glossy. "Thank you for this... I..." he took a deep breath and kind of prayed to God that Tom wouldn't stop him from walking away. Fuck he didn't want to break down, not here. "I'll come and talk to you again if I need it, but I'm really grateful that you took your time... it means a lot to me.." With that he left the room as quickly as he could, hands shaking as he pushed them into his pockets. He met Jody on his way down the corridor and hardly even looked up when she said hi to him, he'd have to explain it to her later, that he just wasn't dissing her but right now he couldn't quite care. He needed to skip school that was for sure, skip school and go home...
...
Arthur felt a cold chill down his neck as he walked up the stairs towards the reacher's floor. And yes, they had their entire floor for every kind of use possible. There was also the nurse's office and the reception, together with some rooms for meetings and such things. He had always disliked floors with teachers and since he had no idea where he was going, this was even more frightening than when he had decided he'd go here in the first place.
"You looking for someone?" a kind, female voice asked from a doorway he had just passed. He turned towards her and blushed slightly, knowing that he must be looking so misplaced up there. But she just smiled and tilted her head gently to the side.
"Yes.." he answered hesitantly and returned her smile best he could. "I'm looking for... for Daniel?"
"Oh" she smiled in surprise but pointed at a door on the other side of the corridor just half a second later. "He's in there, working hard as always... just give the door a knock and he will see you"
"Thank you"
"Don't mention it sweetie"
When she had left him alone again, he did as she had told him and it didn't take more than a couple of seconds for the man inside to come to the door and open. He looked tired, almost over worked but his eyes brightened slightly as he saw the young blond outside his door.
"Well hello there" he smiled and stepped aside. "Come on in Arthur"
At least he knows my name, that's a start... he thought and returned this smile too, walking inside and looking around slightly before the door was shut again behind him. The room was small, walls stacked with bookshelves filled with dusty books, there was a large window on the opposite wall to the door and in front of it was an old looking desk, filled with two or three layers of papers. It looked as if Daniel had been working in there all his life or something, because the layer of dust on the books on the shelves must be at least an inch thick.
"Please" the man smiled and pushed his glasses up further on his nose. They made him look a lot older than he must be, and the cardigan made him look like a typical English professor. "Sit down and make yourself comfortable. Do you want anything to drink or something?"
"No I'm quite alright..." Arthur answered and smiled at the older man, feeling a bit bad for disturbing him when he seemed to have so much to do. "Do you want me to come back another time.. when you don't have so much work to...?"
"No no, now is fine" Daniel assured and sat down in his chair on the other side of the desk. He sighed and then smiled, pushing some papers aside. "I always have a lot to do and it's mostly so that I won't have to deal with everything else that I put myself in that position... so why did you want to see me?"
Arthur hesitated and bit his lip, knowing that Daniel had told him to come talk to him if he ever felt like it, even though that was a long time ago now... Hadn't it been one of his first days in school even? But it felt weird talking to someone you hardly knew about these sort of things. He then took a deep breath and put the letter he had received from Francis in front of them both on the desk, along with the answer he had been meaning to send.
"First, thank you for talking to me that day... I was totally out of it and I thought you wouldn't even remember me but I guess you do" he smiled and the other one nodded with a bright smile back. "And it was kind of... all that I wanted to talk to you about"
"You mean the last part you told me?" Daniel asked, curiously but calmly, obviously not wanting to rush him into telling him things he wasn't ready to talk about. Arthur nodded, a bit amazed over the fact that this man, that didn't even know him, remembered what he had told him that day, which seemed like years ago. But maybe you didn't forget that a random male student who comes and talks about having a boyfriend?
"Yes..." he admitted and looked down at the papers. "Me and my ex broke up... or more like, I broke up when he had left me in damn mess, and now he wants this of me..." he explained while pointing at the paper in front of them. "I was just wondering... if you might read it through and see what you think about my answer, the last I want is for him to come here, as he is threatening and ruin everything I have built up here as well..."
"Of course" Daniel replied instantly and once again, Arthur felt himself being slightly surprised at this man. He had answered so quickly, as if he had made his mind up long before the question had even been asked. "I'll do anything to help..."
It took them about an hour to go over the letter and what it meant, both literary and what it could be saying if you looked and analyzed it more closely. Arthur was so into it he didn't even realize the time was flying and didn't wake up from this state until he had gotten about five texts from Jody asking where he was and if he was planning on letting her eat by herself.
"...but in general, I think if you just clam your attitude down in what you have written" Daniel continuing after Arthur had put the cell back down again. "...he will either take it well or not, depending on him. I mean, he could have already decided to come here anyway, and if that is the case, maybe you should tell the people around you that a man, who is potentially dangerous, will be arriving any day, since he seems to have gotten a hold of your current address. You need all the support you can get you know, not to end up in the same situation as you did last time that is..."
"You mean bleeding on the floor?"
"Not really..." the teacher said while shaking his head. He then slowly removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes a little, looking even more tired than before they had started. "I know, form experience, that if you have been in a relationship like the one you describe with Francis here, a destructive relationship where he is not faithful and you still forgive him, where he hits you and you where still there for him the day after... there is a risk, even though it might not feel like it now, that you will go back to him..."
"I don't think..." Arthur started but the older man shook his head and smiled to indicate that he wasn't quite done yet.
"All I am saying is that there is a risk, not that this is what will happen and there is nothing you can do about it..." he then said and wiped his glasses on a white cloth he had drawn out form one of his pockets. "This man is possessive, which he proved by getting angry at you for sleeping with someone else than him, but he is still very loving towards you and promises that he will change, am I right?"
"Well... yes" Arthur replied, unable to lie about it since it was just the way Francis had been. He had always done bad things and when Arthur had yelled at him for it, he had said he would change for him, that he would do better from now on. He had promised it so many times that they both had grown accustomed to it all, that was the way they argued in the end...
"But what ever happens, you must remember that he will not change..." Daniel continued and bit his lip, in the same way Arthur normally used to do when he was thinking real hard or worrying about something. "Some people do change when they promise it, and I can't say for sure that Francis won't, since I haven't met him... But my guess is that he won't, no matter how many times he says he will. But by coming here, I am sure he would like to try to convince you that he will so that he can get you back"
"But why..?" Arthur asked, even though he knew that this man could not possibly know the answer to such I question. "I mean... why would he do so much, just to get me back, if he is just going to do the same thing to me over and over again? Doesn't he understand that I will not stand it for even a day if he starts up again?"
"I think he might believe... because he does care about you, and he might think that if he could just get you back he really will change this time. But you cannot change a pattern you have learned over time, in just one night. If he used to be a player before you, you can almost always count on the fact that he will continue to be so when he is in bed with you as well"
Arthur nodded at this. It made sense. Not that he wanted to get back together with the guy but just two hours ago he had wondered weather he really shouldn't. Because he had thought that what if Francis actually would change for the better, what if he would do his best and Arthur wouldn't have to be lonely anymore... but he wouldn't be thinking that anymore now, would he? What Daniel said made so much sense he didn't even want to admit to himself that hadn't he heard it from someone else, he wouldn't even have noticed it and probably fallen into the trap again.
...
Al slammed the door shut hard behind him and felt a terrible wave of emotion surge through his body and crash against his defensive wall. The wall he hoped he had built strong enough to be able to resist this force at least for a while longer. He threw his cell to the floor, only to pick it up again almost immediately and drop it into his pocket instead. It was best that he knew when Arthur was coming home so that his cousin wouldn't be met by a crying kid when he came through the door.
When he had made sure his mother wasn't home, he sighed in relief and threw up in the downstairs bathroom. It took him about half an hour to calm down enough to even be able to flush the toilet and stop his body from shaking, adrenaline pulsing through his entire body with every heartbeat.
He leaned back, finally laying down on the cold floor, waiting for time to pass and his mind to calm itself before making any hasty movements. He had puked once before from being upset and stressed out, but that time it had been before a game and there had been others who had been feeling sick as well so it could have been food poisoning form the pizza they had had earlier. Now he just felt sick through and through, as if he had caught some disease that would clearly kill him soon, slowly and painfully.
"Al..?" came a voice from outside the bathroom door, so suddenly that Al made the mistake of sitting up all too quickly, causing a wave of nausea to crash over him again. He groaned as the foul liquid hit the bottom of the can with a splattering echo of bad smelling vomit. The door was not locked, since he had not thought anyone would barge in on him this time of day and it now opened quickly, warm hands gently pulling his bangs away from his sweaty face as another reached to dampen a cloth with warm water, which was then gently pressed agains his forehead.
"Dad...?" he asked into the warm embrace which then pulled him away from the stinking bathroom and into the living room, setting him down on the sofa and wrapping him in a thick blanket.
"Yeah" the older man answered softly and Al managed to notice that there was no smell of alcohol around him before he dozed off into oblivious sleep.
When he woke up (the clock on the wall showed hours later), the TV was on in front of him and there was a glass of coke on the table as well. On the floor next to the sofa, there was a bucket which he suspected he was supposed to puke in if he felt the need to do so. He tried to look around to see if his father was around, but suspected he wouldn't be... seeing as the man was a drunk who didn't really give a shit about him. And even if he WAS there, it was impossible for Al to make out, since he realized he must have dropped his glasses on the floor when puking the first time. He pondered getting up for a while, but soon decided that lying here was so much more comfortable, even without glasses.
"You Ok kid...?" his father suddenly asked as he came into the room from the kitchen and Al was forced to open his eyes again. The man was blurry, being so far way from him but he didn't really care if he saw him or not.
"Yeah... I'm fine" he just answered and then realized, as he reached for the glass with coke, that his glasses where lying on the table as well, right next to it. He put them on as quickly as his body would let him and sighed in relief as the world wobbled into focus again. He didn't at all feel as nauseous when he had them on, that was a good thing.
His dad, now that he took a better look at him, didn't at all look like the last time Al had been forced to lay his eyes on him. Michael had been looking awfully pale back then, eyes sunken into their sockets, being so damn skinny that Al had thought maybe he'd die within days. Now, he was newly shaved, hair washed and wearing clean clothes he probably hadn't worn in years. He was smiling a little, wearing his own glasses for a change... if you hadn't known about him, you would have just thought he was any other father, tending to his sick child who was home from school. It was just hat Al knew better than that.
Michael smiled a little wider thought, at Al's answer, and walked over to the sofa where he sat down gently. He looked wrong somehow, like he didn't fit into the picture of the house, even though this was of course his home as well. He didn't seem like he had completely forgotten how to sit in the sofa, it was just... it was so weird, seeing him like this.
"Not feeling nauseous anymore then..?" he then asked and Al had to just wait a moment to answer, just to fully grasp the fact that he was sitting there in their living room, talking to his own dad. He then took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. The world was getting blurry again.
"Not really..."
"Do you know what it was..?" Michael continued after the short answers he was given. He didn't seem to mind that his son didn't want to talk to him. Maybe he just needed to make sure Al was ok and when he was sure, he would retire to his bed and keep drinking...? Somehow, even when being dizzy as hell, Al didn't want it to be like that. It really seemed like his dad had made an effort into helping him this time, maybe this was the part when he was reaching out for his oldest and hoped he would get a hand to hold while he came back to life? Even though Al felt completely out of it still, he figured that he should just push this man away, not now that he had been helping him... After all, the time still showed half passed two in the afternoon and his dad wasn't even drunk yet.
Al sighed and then shrugged, feeling his entire body tremble as he did so. Was he crying? Or was just the feeling of trembling after puking the same as when crying your heart out? He didn't know.
"I was totally stressed out..." he finally managed to answer before taking a deeper breath then before, which seemed to help with the trembling sensation. "I felt it at school, that if I didn't go home and rest, I would break down and I didn't want that..."
Instead of getting angry, like his mother would have, Michael just nodded at what he heard and it felt kind of good. Al smiled a little, his throat throbbing slightly as he swallowed though. It felt better with a grown up who nodded with understanding instead of one who started accusing you of lying as soon as you stepped inside the house. Not that his dad had been any better than her, back when he was just a closet drunk who blew up during dinnertime.
"I don't know if I'm getting sick too though..." he then added after thinking for a couple of seconds. "I mean... I threw up quite a lot and I don't know if I was that stressed out, you know?"
Michael nodded and drank some of the content of his cup. Al first suspected it was some kind of alcohol in the beverage, but a soft smell of tea soon reached his nose and he could do nothing but smile slightly. Maybe his dad really was breaking through his own armor of drunken-asshole-ness?
"What is it that you're so stressed out about..?" the older one then asked, making the broken walls of Al's inner defense tighten their security. He had never really felt comfortable enough with his dad to talk to him about stuff like this, even when the guy had been sober all hours of the day. He had been fairly young back then thought so he didn't really remember how their relationship had been when it came to talking. "I mean... from what I have heard, you're not the kind of guy who has to work a lot for your grades and you're popular too..? So what is is?"
But there is a limit to how long a teenager can hold his defense up, when his mind is throbbing and his throat tastes like vomit. Al was about to look away but there was something in those kind, deep eyes... something he hadn't seen in years that made him want to just throw himself in his father's arms and cry until he didn't have any tears left. The man actually looked like he cared. And it felt like it had been ages since Al had had a parent who cared...
"Dad..."
"Look..." the older man interrupted and smiled, looking sad too though, event hough he was trying to hide it. "I have been such a coward, and so much less of a father to you than what both you and your brother deserves... And I don't at all expect you to want to tell me what it is that's troubling you or making you feel the way you do. But believe me, if there is anything that gives me greater pain than seeing you suffering like this, it is the fact that I know that I can't do anything at all to help you as a father..."
Al swallowed and let his eyes fall from the other's face and down to his own hands. He knew he must have been sounding so mean sometimes when he walked in with food to his father, he must have seemed to hate him so much the few times they even spoke... Even though he kind knew that it wasn't his fault the man had been drinking and been a jerk, he felt responsible right now for making the man feel this bad about the whole thing. He didn't know what to say either, so he just kept his hands on his hands, listening to what the other one said.
"You have more potential to be a better person that I ever had..." Michael continued and Al felt his eyes sting. From what he could see, his dad had been a really good person in the beginning... he shouldn't look down on himself so much. "And I wish that even if I shouldn't even be allowed to call you my son, because of the way I have treated you... that maybe at least, when all this is over and you feel better again, we could be something similar to friends?"
Al tore his eyes form his hands, who suddenly lost all interest to him and looked up at the glossy eyed man in front of him. He didn't get the time to reply with more than a nod though, because the front door was opened and closed as Arthur hurried into the house. He called that he was home, by now just because everyone else did so and then hurried into the living room where both the Jones' where sitting.
"Arthur what are you..?" Al begun but Arthur looked far to worried and bit down on his lip while seeing the man next to him on the couch.
"I came as soon as I got your message..." his cousin said to the older of the two and Al looked at them both in confusion. It was by then of course that he realized he didn't have his cellphone anywhere and understood that his dad must have panicked, no matter how calm he seemed, and texted Arthur to come home. Even though it was pretty embarrassing, Al couldn't help but feel grateful for his actions. "Al, are you alright?"
"Yeah" he replied and smiled quickly at his dad, telling him with his silence that he was thankful before looking back at Arthur who was now kneeling by his side to check if his forehead was hot. "I'm fine... just stressed out, maybe getting sick to so you should stay away..."
Arthur chuckled slightly, even though he looked serious still, deep down in his eyes. "I have the best immune system there is" he then said and met Al's eyes tenderly. "I don't get sick" This was of course a lie, but Al was thankful for the cold fingers against his forehead as well and soon he was watching a movie with his dad by his side and his own blanket wrapped around him, coke in hand and smiling softly at Arthur's singing form the kitchen.
"Thank s for calling him dad" he said after a while. "I think... he is the only person I would want to take care of me when I'm sick... apart form maybe you since you seemed to know exactly what to do..."
He could see the older one blush at this and felt fairly comfortable from making the man smile. If they where going to establish a better relationship, the best way to do that was to try to forget who he had used to be and start appreciating what he had done just hours ago instead. "I just... did it instinctively..." Michael finally admitted and drank the last of his tea, looking more tired now, probably form the lack of alcohol in his blood but it wasn't like Al blamed him for that. "I mean... you're the same kid as when you where young, you used to throw up all the time when I was alone with you and I always had to take care of you, guess it sort of sticks with you, no matter what you do"
Al nodded. It was a fair explanation. He then grinned at Arthur who came back into the room with toast, slightly buttered and some more coke for his upset stomach. "You should eat this slowly" he said and put it down in front of Al on the table before sitting down between the two of them on the sofa. "If it stays down and you don't feel nauseous at all for a while, you can have another one... if that makes if through, you can have some soup"
"Sounds like a good deal" he agreed and started eating small chunks of bread and butter until he was sure they would stay down. Arthur didn't seem to have any problems what so ever with sitting next to Michael he suddenly realized though and smiled as he noticed they had been talking a bit about the movie even. Al was glad. That mean at least someone hadn't hated his dad from the start. Hopefully, Michael realized that as well.
"I'm not going to drink anymore..." his dad suddenly said as the credits rolled and Al yawned from tiredness. His yawn and need for sleep was quickly forgotten after the sentence had been spilt. "I've thought about it for some time now, and I've even tried not to.. but it is hard on my own and I think I need some professional help..."
Al stayed silent, not even able to believe what he was hearing. Was this really happening...? He didn't even have anything constructive to say, he couldn't look back in shock at his father either because he kind of understood how hard this must be for him. He knew that his drinking problem had made everything into a living hell for his family and now he was ready to face up to it all. Al knew how good you could feel after getting wasted, the feeling of not at all caring about anything anymore... his dad was willing to give that feeling up and face reality again? Well, that was something he never thought he would hear.
"I know that your mother will never forgive me for what I have done to this family..." Michael continued and sighed slightly, sounding as if he was about to cry and still Al could not get himself to look up at him. It hurt inside to hear this... he never thought it would hurt... not like this. "And I don't blame her for what she thinks of me... but I will do my best, for her and for you guys... both you and your brother. And if you tell me you won't want to have anything to do with me, that you would rather have her new man as your father then I will accept that... but I will still do this for you Al..."
"Dad..." he begun and looked up almost instinctively. He didn't want to be interrupted this time. "...If you want this, if you're going to give it your all, of course I will stand by you? How could I not? You're fighting for us... so why shouldn't at least I fight for you too?"
The silence that feel was filled with some kind of happy tension. The older man looking back at his almost grown up son with tears in his eyes and his bottom lip between his teeth, as if he was hindering himself from jumping the kid and giving him a hard hug. Arthur smiled slightly, feeling out of place for a moment before meeting Al's gaze. His cousin was smiling slightly too, still shocked at what he had heard but happy. He gently reached out and grabbed Arthur's hand with his own, miming 'thank you' while giving it a soft squeeze.
It didn't take long after that until they started up with a plan. Arthur helped Michael to pack up some things he would need and Al just sat there on the sofa, a warm ball of happiness hovering in his chest. He wondered what his mom would say when she found out where her husband had gone... if she even noticed he wasn't locked in the bedroom anymore. He tried to imagine the look on her face but it was impossible.
"Be sure to be back by Mattie's birthday?" he then asked as his dad popped his head back into the living room to tell him goodbye. Michael looked a bit sad and stepped over to the sofa to give him a kiss on the forehead.
"I'll try..." he answered and bit his lip again. "I really will"
"As long as you're healthy..." Al assured and gave him what he hoped was a reassuring smile even tough he was so tired he didn't know anymore. "...I think he will be happy..."
I don't know what you guys think, but there is some part of me that just can't stop loving Al's dad ;_; he is in fact, really sweet according to me! And poor Al... Could he really have stressed himself up enough to go and feel that bad? :/
AND what will Francis do when he gets Arthur's letter? Will he be angry and fly over anyway? or has he already decided to pay his ex lover a visit? O_O find out in next chapter! I promise ;D
Till then, hugs from Codes
By the way! Next chapter will be a bonus which will be very important for the continuing of this story! I will be posting it separatly AS WELL and I hope you guys will start following this story too, since there will be a couple of detached chapters on that one that still have attatchment to this story XD hope this makes sense XD you will get it when you read chapter 15, promise, cause I will explain it all there :D