Chapter 14
A few months after meeting Bane, Selina was able to ascertain that he, as well as the majority of his dogs, originated from somewhere in the Middle East. Sometimes they spoke together in a fluid language that Selina could only assume was Arabic. Sometimes, when they did speak in English, it was to discuss stories of the religion of their home with those native to Gotham, or elsewhere. One spoke a story, to a group of five men, while Selina sat at the edge of the room awaiting Bane's arrival.
"The Exalted One gave to Ishmael, His chosen prophet, a Stone of white," the man said, reciting impressively eloquently from memory. "It dazzled like starlight and was completely pure. It was given to replace that which was destroyed by the flood of Noah, which ripped across the earth, flooding the land and purging the world of sin. In that storm, all, even God's gift, was lost.
"Ishmael was to build a new temple to house the stone. The temple, cubic in shape, became known as the Kaaba.
"But the despite its protective home, constructed by Ishmael, the stone was touched by man, and therefore touched by sin. Its white color faded away. It turned black."
Though Selina is not overly pleased, Bruce convinces her that they can't stay in bed when they have the whole world at their feet. Using a side account under a different name, Bruce purchases them two plane tickets to Europe. He has essentially no money left, but refuses to let Selina pay for anything out of the well-established funds she created prior to her leaving Gotham.
Selina can stand about two days of living in dirty hostels before she storms out and checks into a hotel, inviting Bruce to come along. He gives in. In a joint effort, they pull strings and form new identities for themselves—a newly-wed Canadian couple honeymooning in Europe before returning to their jobs in Toronto. Selina has never been to Toronto, but Bruce has, so fills her in on 'their' neighborhood and how they met in a café on the outskirts of the downtown area.
They start in London, where they visit art museums and spend hours and hours people-watching outside bars. Beside the Thames, Bruce gives her the pearl necklace she stole from him when they first met. That feels to Selina as if it was years ago, rather than months. In Amsterdam, their next destination, they spend a week having intoxicated sex in a miniscule studio apartment looking out on a side part of the canal. They move into France by train, stopping off in every other town to walk along rivers and vineyards in the early spring sun until they arrive in Paris.
For a month, they switch between hotels in the city. Bruce shows her the best places to eat, to walk, to kiss. He teaches her about wine and beauty and Selina honestly never believed she would so much enjoy being showed around by a billionaire—though he may be only a former one.
At the feet of Montmartre, Selina has her first panic attack. One moment she is walking down the road, gazing into a tourist shop, window, and the next she is on the ground, images of metal masks, blood and darkness filling her mind.
It is the day after Bruce told her why Talia and Bane wanted to destroy Gotham. Before a crowd can gather—they are dangerous because Bruce, the dead former-billionaire, is far too recognizable—Bruce calls a taxi and shuffles her inside.
"It's ok," he whispers in her ear. "He's dead. You killed him."
Once the attacks start, it is impossible to stop them. They are spurred by nothing and everything. They quickly escalate from never happening to happening every week, every day, sometimes multiple times a day. In a bit of frustration, Bruce demands what causes them. Selina cannot answer. She thinks about how ridiculous it was, that she believed she could live with no repercussions of Bane's assault on her life.
Bruce thinks she needs a change of location, so they move into Spain, then Portugal. It makes no difference. Guilt washes over Selina; no matter how much she wants to move on and just be with Bruce, Gotham keeps its grips in her soul. She tries harder. She tries sleeping more, sleeping less. She cuts out alcohol completely, then drinks herself into oblivion. She even tries shop lifting a box of expensive cutlery, for no real reason.
Once she calms down after an attack, she becomes very quiet, because she is unsure whether or not Bruce is irreversibly displeased with her. No matter how much he tells her he is not, that he understands what she is going through, that he was plagued by nightmares and day visions for most of his life, it doesn't make her feel better.
They move on to Italy, where Bruce insists on going to Florence to confirm to his ex-butler that he lives. Selina doesn't like the idea. She doesn't like having loose ends, people knowing who she is, where they are, but Bruce seems adamant, so she gives in. Besides, all that really matters is that Alfred sees them together. Then they can go on with their lives.
After the rendezvous, they go to Venice. It is a bit too touristy for them, so they move on to Rome after only two days. Again, they rent the tiniest, cheapest apartment that they can find.
After sharing a plate of antipasti, they go for a walk around the city, while the sun sets. Visions of stone walls and blades consume her. Pain breaks out across her bottom lip when she bites into it, trying to stifle her screams. She is successful, but Bruce only becomes more worried when he sees blood streaming down her chin. He yells into her ear, but she is deaf but for the sound of powerful footsteps approaching from all around.
Back home, once she is relaxed once more, Bruce sits down across from her on the couch.
"Are you afraid of him, still?" Bruce asks. Selina shakes her head. She isn't afraid, at least not in this moment. Bruce sighs and tells her about the Pit—the place in which he himself was imprisoned for the months of Gotham's occupation. Selina knew he was trapped somewhere, but was not aware that it was so far and so wretched a place.
"Bane was also imprisoned there, once," Bruce tells her. "That is where he met Talia."
Talia? What was a girl doing in a place like that? Bruce tells her how Ra's al-Ghul should have been the one imprisoned, but the woman took his place. Talia was born in the Pit.
"Bane saved her from the prisoners and was attacked for it. He wears the mask to cover the scars and to keep the pain at bay." Bruce pauses. "I was only able to survive in that fight as long as I did because I dismantled the mask. The pain made Bane unable to control his strength."
"How long was Bane in the Pit?" Selina asks quietly.
"I don't know. Years. Maybe decades. It's impossible to know, now. There are no records, no one that remembers."
Selina nods, feeling a bit faint. Her eyes close. She thinks about everything Bane did to her and everything she thought in the weeks after his death. Her throat closes up. It is the first time she has thought about those days since the night Bruce came back. She thought, then, that she would tell Bruce about it someday.
Is now the time? She wonders. She opens her eyes and mouth to speak just as Bruce's lips touch hers. His arm curves around the edge of her waist as he pulls her upwards towards him. She lets him do so. There is always tomorrow.
The next morning, they go out for a light breakfast together. Then Bruce goes for a run, while Selina goes to the market. As he kisses her, she can feel the content smile against her lips. In the aftermath of sex, the night before, he managed to pull twice the amount of affection from her lips and body as he can usually manage. When she arrives back to their apartment, she places her purchases on the counter, smiling to herself.
"You are not easy to track down."
It is the second time a man has said that to her, but the implications could not be more different. Something vibrates within her bones and she doesn't need to turn to know he's really there. This is not a hallucination; this is not a panic attack. This is real. For a moment, she just sets everything down and closes her eyes. Her head drops, falling limp for only a moment before she forces it upright as she turns.
Neither of them say anything for a moment. Selina's face holds no expression, nor does Bane's. There are a few new scars stretching down his neck and below his collar line—scars Selina is sure she caused—but other than that he is unchanged, whole, alive.
Selina turns on her heel and dashes for the door. Not surprisingly, Bane catches her and pulls her body backwards against his chest. She thrashes and screams into his hand.
"Calm yourself, Ms. Kyle." How am I supposed to—
He turns her to face him. Like a snake, his eyes slither up and down her face, searching for something. He slowly removes his hand from her mouth, making sure she has no plan to scream.
"I killed you," she whispers.
"You tried." She shakes her head in disbelief. She may not have checked his vitals, but the gun on the bike had quite the fire power. He should be dead.
"How did you find me?"
"With great difficulty." She is getting tired of his terse answers. Before she can stop herself, she rolls her eyes. He grabs her neck.
"I could kill you," he growls. The obviousness of the statement is striking.
She wants to say, do it then, but is unable to gain enough breath to do so. She wants to die. She can't keep playing this game with him, waiting for him to kill her—whether as an individual or as one of thousands. She knows the game is lost. It has been for months, since the moment he laid eyes on her. He doesn't need to prove anything to her.
But he does not kill her. He releases her neck suddenly, making her tumble to the floor. She cries out in pain when her knees hit the floor, but she really cries because living hurts her.
"Get up," Bane commands of her. "We're leaving. As much as I would like to take you in your lover's home, we have business elsewhere."
Lover.
The way he says it, it sounds less authentic—a relationship outside that which is legitimate. His use of such a word makes it sound as if Selina was cheating on Bane with Bruce.
Is that what this was? She wonders, as she pulls herself up. Was I cheating on Bane?
In reality, she had been unaware it was cheating—she believed Bane to be dead. Furthermore, she had been unaware that her relationship with Bane went so far as to make any other relationships she may have illegitimate.
As if hearing her train of thought, he grabs her hair and pulls her close.
His mask scrapes against her ear as he growls, "You belong to me."
When he pulls away, his eyes meet hers. She wonders, suddenly, how she ever believed that the mask overshadows the rest of his face—his eyes are positively aflame. They are like portals to another world, consumed by darkness and despair.
Is that the world he creates, or the one he inhabits? She visibly flinches at the thought, giving the appearance of her flinching from the Bane's gaze. It is the first time she has ever wondered about what horrors he has suffered, as opposed to the horrors he inflicts on her. Perhaps it is due to what Bruce told her—about Bane being trapped in a prison, mauled by his equals. He lived in the darkness for much of his life. Is it really so shocking that he became this way?
To think she would ever see the day that she humanizes Bane. It makes her sick, or at least she wants it to make her sick.
Bane's arm on her shoulder pulls her out of the reverie. She looks at him, but he is looking everywhere but her. He looks angry, as if sensing Selina's 'infidelity' in the space. He pushes her to the door and she sees Barsad out of the corner of her eye, waiting for them. She wonders why she didn't see him before. I'm losing my touch.
Then she thinks of Bruce, and she realizes he will return, see her partially unpacked shopping, and have no idea what happened. He will never know. Tears come to her eyes and she begins to struggle again. She can't leave him like this. I love him.
"No!" She cries out against Bane, as his arms loop around her. Perhaps if she just prolongs the time it takes to get outside, Bruce will return and save her. Maybe if she just gets away for a second Bane will be inexplicably unable to catch her.
When she attempts to wrench herself from his grip, his hand comes down on her. The horror in his eyes surrounds her.
A/N And here we go, getting into angst again. Quite a bit of it, coming up. Also, torture. Thanks for reading. xxx