Sith Gothic. Part 14
What greater weapon is there than to turn an enemy to your cause? To use their own knowledge against them?' - Bastila Shan
Landing Pad - Kashyyyk
After stepping of the ramp of our ship and onto the wooden landing pad on Kashyyyk. I had to resist the urge to kneel down and hug the ground. Not the actual ground of course as we were high up in a tree, but I was really missing the feeling of having sky above me the ground below. So much so that I had to odd desire to go kiss some dirt.
In space there isn't really an up or down. You turn a ship upside down and once the move is done you can't tell any difference. The stars are still all around you and the artificial gravity combined with some of other tech ensures that at no point do you feel like you are upside down.
On my way to Tatooine I hadn't really noticed that, but that trip hadn't seemed to anywhere as long as the one from the Dantooine to Kashyyyk. It likely had something to do with hyperspace routes, but I didn't have the maths or the physics to understand why some routes were faster and more stable than others. Well I did know that it had to do with gravity wells which was why it was slow to travel in the Core as the stars were more densely packed together there, but that was about it.
My limited knowledge made me feel stupid, but I didn't have the time to battle my ignorance on that subject with the awesome weapon that was higher education as I was focused on trying to learn more about using the Force.
I pushed those thoughts aside and took a few deep breaths of air that wasn't recycled or processed. Unfortunately doing that made me feel a bit light headed. Korriban and Tatooine were arid worlds, with thinner atmospheres than Earth. I'd adapted fine there but this planet clearly had a more oxygen rick atmosphere than back home.
Then I started to feel really sick and had to sit down.
"Maybe you should stay on the ship" Raven suggested.
My Force Bond with Bastilla informed me that she didn't want to me to go to far from her. She would miss me despite the fact that she wasn't suppose to get too attached to me. Then I felt her concern as she didn't understand why I wasn't feeling very well.
Raven (not that she was called that these days) seemed to understand what was wrong with me.
"Are you feeling any nausea?" the former Dark Lord inquired.
"Yeah, a little" I replied.
"Altitude sickness" Raven explained "we are pretty high up and it does affect humans from more... from worlds that don't have hyperdrive".
By that I assumed she meant that the humans who had been travelling around the galaxy for thousands of years had evolved to deal with such things were as the more stay on one planet kind hadn't been able to.
"I know a Jedi techquie to help deal with that" informed Bastilla "it's not hard to learn I mastered it when I was six".
It wasn't hard to hear the pride in that statement.
"Any clues on anywhere to start?" Mission asked the whole group as I got up.
She was worried about me to, but she knew that I'd be okay soon enough. So she didn't let it distract her.
"I'm pretty sure that it's on the forest floor!" I shouted as I headed back to the ship.
That got me some odd looks.
"Well it's not as if it's going to hanging off a tree branch is it" I pointed out.
"My vision supports that it's some where dark" added Shan "I can not imagine that there is much light on the surface".
"Agreed" said Raven "I also saw it surrounded by darkness".
Any further discussion on the subject was ignored by me as I started to feel really ill. I so had to get back on board the ship.
On Board The Ebon Hawk - Kashyyyk
Moments later I sat crossed legged on the cold floor in the shared crew quarters, and tried to feel the Force without any intense emotion to help.
The light side of the Force, or Ashla as it used to be called, was the part of the Force aligned with honesty, compassion, mercy, self-sacrifice, and other positive emotions. For the most part, the Jedi simply referred to this as the Force, like as if the dark side was a perversion rather than simply part of a larger whole or at least this was what I was picking up from Bastila as she lectured on Jedi basics.
"Hold on if the light side is meant to be all about mercy and hope and such then how come you're not suppose to feel emotions?" I asked "you can't embody things like compassion if you don't feel it".
That would be like having a god of war who was a pacifist.
"We are encouraged to show compassion, but..." Shan tried to explain but she couldn't find the words.
"See it's stupid" I argued "you can't possible achieve some sort of inner peace if you're expected to run around protecting the innocent. Real life is too chaotic...".
"Attachment is forbidden; possession is forbidden. Compassion, is essential to a Jedi" she managed to say before I started ranting.
Hadn't Anakin Skywalker said something liked that?
"You can express compassion without becoming attached" she insisted.
I thought about that for moment and found that I didn't totally disagree.
"Yeah I suppose. I mean if you found a wounded animal you could feel sorry it, and do something to help without ending up making it your pet".
I felt a surge of pride in my not-a-girlfriend. She was happy that she had finally gotten to the point were I could see something of the Jedi that didn't make think that they were all hypocrites, but she was felt pride in me. Which made me feel good about myself.
"Now I want you to relax" instructed Bastila "take a few deep breaths and then shut out everything but the sound of my voice".
Which wasn't very hard to do as when she wasn't acting like Miss Bossy Boots she actually had a pleasant voice. She was very attractive when she didn't sound too posh and prissy.
"Don't think about me" Shan gently chided, having picked up on my feelings "just calm yourself".
I tried to clear my mind but I couldn't so I focused on my heart beat and breathing giving them my full attention. Which seemed to help my head not be so full of thoughts.
"The Force is all around you" said Shan next "you don't need to draw it in aggressively. You know what it feels like so try to imagine that it flowing through you. Like a river it will run its own course, it doesn't need you direct it".
I ignored the sudden need to visit the bathroom and kept the river image in my head. It was kind of relaxing really I could really imagine that the Force was this big river that broke off into streams that followed into people's souls.
That was when I felt it. I was totally at peace but the Force was there and I could even use it. It was just there all around me. How could everyone not know this, it was like we were all surrounded by this energy. I was like a blind man seeing sun for the first time. Before now I'd been able to feel its warmth on my face, I could even see other things using its light, but I'd never really seen it directly.
But it is unwise to look directly at the sun. Overall it was a little much. I wanted to turn away from it.
"Shhh" urged Shan gently, while sending a calming influence through the bond we shared "stay relaxed".
Bastila was now behind me, but again I forced myself to only listen to her voice and not to wonder what she doing.
"Feel the Force around you" was the next direction "it is all around you. Even this ship has a presence. Now reach out and feel Zaalbar. Find him and then 'see' him".
The Wookie was worried about something. He was struggling with a choice, but that was all I could get from him as he was very alien.
I then focused on Mission's little pet. The creature was much easier to understand since it wanted to do was to eat, sleep and reproduce, not that unlike most teenage boys.
"Now you just need to sustain that connection. Let the light side empower you. It will aid you in dealing with the strain of the air pressure outside".
I found it hard to believe that she had been able to do this at the age of six. Maybe it was easier to handle if you'd been Force Sensitive all your life but I was getting freaked out.
"Shh" Shan whispered again "you don't need to worry, nothing bad will happen".
I forced myself to calm down by making my breathing steady. Soon my heartbeat slowed down and I even managed to keep the energy of the light side running through me.
"Now I want you to hold your breathe" Shan requested.
I did as such and when I wanted to breathe in again, Bastila spoke once more.
"Imagine that the air you need is water, they are both life and you need that life to survive. The river is full of life let that life flow into you".
I did and suddenly I didn't need to breathe any more. The Force was sustaining me. It wouldn't last forever but I used this technique while breathing outside then the altitude would no longer be a problem.
"Well done" Bastila praised "now do you want to go further? There is another simple exercise I can show you that will greatly expand your understanding of the Force".
I'd always be a Sith at heart but I had to admit that this light side stuff wasn't so so bad. It certainly made understanding the Force at lot easier. The Dark Side was easier to use, but it didn't really give you a sense of being connected to something bigger than yourself. If I could use both I could become extremely powerful.
"Sure" I replied while making sure I didn't start sending out power-hungry vibes over the bond.
I heard something heavy being dropped a few feet in front of me. Then a few seconds later Shan spoke again.
"Open your eyes but don't look around. Focus completely on the object".
I did exactly that and saw a small box full of power cells on the floor before me.
"Now I want you to close your eyes and to reach out with the Force. 'See' the box, feel its presence in the Force. It is all connected. The box is not alive but it is still connected to everything".
I sort of knew what she meant. It had a presence in the Force. A weak one, but it existed I could sense that it was there even with my eyes clothes.
"Now make it levitate" my not-a-girlfriend instructed "but do it gently".
I did, as telekinesis was easy for me these days, and as I moved the box up something just clicked inside my head.
It wasn't really me moving this box. I didn't have telekinetic powers, no Jedi or Sith did. I wasn't moving the box the Force was moving it for me. The box was part of the universe. Everything was connected to the Force and that connection was allowed a Force User to make things move.
That was why you couldn't Force Choke a Vong. They didn't exist in the Force so therefore you couldn't affect them with the it. If the Force just granted you powers, or if it just allowed to access psychic abilities that were normal dormant, then the Vong wouldn't be immune to things like mind tricks.
But it was also true that my will was making things happen. Without me the Force couldn't move the box. The energy still had to flow through me. I had to reach out and will the box to move for the process to work. Because it was my will directing this great power.
However a Force User didn't command the Force. It was not a servant it had its own will, but it was part of you and everything else so it was the galaxy's will. Yet at the same time it was partly separated from everything outside of our physical reality and it had designs of its own.
But it wasn't like some sort all powerful god. It wouldn't make you do anything, it was more like it was guiding you. It was a partnership, it was a friend and ally. However you needed to learn more about this relationship in order to truly forge the strongest partnership.
No wonder the Jedi always fought the Sith. It wasn't just a power struggle for the ownership of the galaxy. The Sith were trying to control something they couldn't control and that was what really unbalanced things. The Force didn't want to be controlled but it was still trying to help the dark siders, but because that was what it was for.
The dark side of the Force wasn't even the problem, death is a part of life and destruction can led to creation. You need both, but all the Sith, other than myself, didn't seem to understand they needed to work with the Force as a whole in order to balance things out. Not just within the Force but also within themselves.
They could have the power, they just had to stop trying to control everything, and just learn to embrace the Force. But they couldn't because they didn't understand, they couldn't understand. I could because I was connected to both sides at once. They were all focused on themselves, getting addicted to the power that rage and hate gave them. They were like drug addicts were as I was just high on life.
You had to be able to see the big picture.
This was Revan would come to understand one day. This was the Grey Jedi had figured out. Evil needed to be balanced with good, and you could use the dark and the light as long as you did it symbiotically. If you did then the Force would take care of you.
But it wasn't all good nature loving hippy stuff. If the light side became too powerful than things would be too orderly. There'd be no death, but without that then you had no life. We'd all be content, we'd have inner peace but we'd lack desires and without that life would be so dull and pointless. Nothing would really change it would be so static.
And that was the failing of the Jedi, they went to far into the light just as the Sith went to far into the dark. No one who wanted to experience all life had to offer could live purely in the light. Because you needed dark to contrast the light. The ups and down defined each other. Joy was nothing without sorrow. Without sadness what was happiness. There was no gain unless you also had loss.
No wonder Anakin had fallen. No one who hadn't been brainwashed by Jedi dogma could accept their life style. It was so unnatural, it was not living at all.
"It all makes sense now, doesn't it" said Shan.
She was right I'd just had an epic epiphany that had changed my view of life, the universe, and everything in it. This was all meaning of life stuff it wasn't the answer but I had some of the question.
But what really blew my mind was not that I understood so much, it was that my truth wasn't the only truth. The Force, life, this universe it was so big that other people's view could also be just as valid as mine.
Yet still I felt as if I had come to the point were things really started to make sense. Nothing seemed to scary any more. Past all the views and opinions I'd just formed there was one absolutely perfect truth.
"I am part of everything. Everything is connected to me and I am connected to everything else.
"We call that moment" said Shan "it is when you realise that the universe is so much bigger than you thought".
Or in other words: You've just taken your first step into a larger world.
"Now focus on me" ordered Bastila.
Bastila was a lot easier to feel, not just because of the Force Bond but because she was... brighter somehow. More here than everyone else, she had stronger connection to the universe than other living things.
She was feeling pride in me and attraction to. Oh and she was also naked. Somehow I just knew that, but I still had to confirm it with my eyes.
"I was wondering if you'd notice" she said with a smile "a good teacher rewards a hard working student".
Well normally I liked to be the one handing out the rewards, but what the hell I was in a really good mood, and she was a really good kisser.
"Best teacher, ever!"
(Line Break)
Space Port Bar - Kashyyyk
If heaven had even one sleazy bar. A place that sold you watered down antifreeze and dared to call it booze, a place full of dancing girls that clearly needed to find a new line of work, a place so full of smoke that you needed a gas mask to avoid the risk of lung cancer, then Canderous Ordo would not only be able to find it, he'd be on his second drink while everyone else was still standing around admiring the fluffy clouds and wondering if the harps were complementary.
Kashyyyk was not heaven, and it was hard to navigate given that what passed for civilization here was pretty much a load of tree-houses. Wonderfully designed and very impressive in scale but they were still tree-houses. Which meant that tree branches were the closest thing they had to roads.
At at least I couldn't see the ground so for once my fear of falling horrible to my death wasn't worrying me. Not that I was worrying about much, as I was still in a really good mood and besides the bar had a proper floor even if I really didn't want to think about what it was coated in.
"I see Bastila is keeping you happy" remarked Canderous as I sat down at the table the group had claimed.
"Well yes" I replied, not caring that Shan could hear me "but that's not why I'm in such a good mood. Bastilla showed me a couple of things that just totally blew my mind".
"I bet she did" sniggered the Mando.
Ha Ha boob joke.
"Don't be so crass Canderous. He had the moment" explained my not-a-girlfriend,
Revan and the cat girl nodded their understanding. They'd had that moment. Revan had possibly had it twice now.
"What moment?" asked Mission "is this a sex thing?"
A chorus of sniggers went around the table.
"I got an epiphany" I told the alien girl
"Is that something girls do for guys with their mouths?" asked twi'lek teen.
Another round of sniggers went around.
"No that's called a..." I stopped when Raven coughed but I recovered fast "I had a very sudden realisation on the truth of the Force. I understand how it works now, and that led to me figuring of a lot of other things about the nature of the universe and my play in it".
"So what, you're a Jedi now?" inquired the Mando
"Oh god no" I replied "I wouldn't be caught dead in brown robes. I'm still a Sith, even if I am bad at it. I just don't worry about the good and evil stuff as much anymore. I know that I am part of the plan but that I also have free will so it's all good, baby. Things will work out".
I so must of sounded like I was on drugs, but I was just high on life.
"Okay enough with the personal revelations" declared Carth, who had good reasons for not wanting to talk about anything Sith related "we need to find the Star Map and that means getting down to the surface. So... anyone got a plan?"
"I think we need to find some Wookies who aren't slaves and then make arrangements to visit the surface" I suggested "there's bound to be some free villages around here".
"How do we find them?" asked Raven.
"Well I do remember this big wooden gate" I said trying to sound as if that part of a vision that I'd had "which would be hard to miss being big gates an all"
"No harm looking around some more" agreed Canderous "if we all stick together we should be safe enough, and you Jedi can open a big gate easily enough".
(Line Break)
Walkways - Kashyyyk
"Hey Bastila" Mission was saying as the group traversed the walkways and bridges "have you ever use the force on someone...you know just a little jolt of force to trip up some jerk who's ticking you off?"
"I would never use the force for such petty and trivial revenge" Shan replied rather tersely
That was when I recalled the time I'd slammed that butch fem Sith apprentice's head right into a table just because she'd be trying to assert herself. That had been cruel of me, and yet so much fun.
"Aww come on there's gotta be times when you've wanted to...you don't have to be so stuck up; come on you can tell me" Misson almost begged.
"I am NOT stuck up" the Jedi protested "I merely have the wisdom and maturity to see how childish such an act would be".
"Childish!" Misson replied, feeling rather insulted "is that a crack about my age...you aint much older than me miss HIGH and MIGHTY. Just because you're Jedi doesn't mean you get to be a prissy little..."
I knew what was coming but I wasn't able to grab the teenager in time to stop her from falling flat on her face.
"That wasn't funny" protested Mission
On the outside Shan looked very innocent and proper, but she could not hide her true feelings from me. Well not unless I was distracted, so I knew exactly how amusing she found it.
"I have no idea what you're talking about" Bastila said as she moved to the head of the group "and do try to be less clumsy in the future".
Even prissy and proper Bastila Shan had her moments.
"Why does she act like that?" Mission asked of nobody.
I answered anyway.
"She thinks that people don't take her seriously" I explained "she a very powerful and talented Jedi, but she'd still only a Padawan. She really isn't that much older than you and like you she doesn't like being seen as a kid".
Well I was the age to be a Jedi Knight I just happened to look younger due to all that life stealing and gaining the Force back on Korriban. It seemed to have taken off a few years.
"I'm not a kid" argued Mission.
"I didn't say you were" I corrected "I just said that people see you that way, and if it makes you feel better I think that you're a wonderful young woman, whose bright, clever and rather pretty".
That made Mission beam in delight.
"You know for a Sith you're a really nice guy" she told me.
We walked next to each other for a while and even though we're moving at a relatively quick pace, I wasn't distracted enough to stop myself from glancing over the side of the walkway.
Yeah that drop would be more than a little fatal, and I couldn't even see the how far down I could fall because of the shadows seemed to swallow everything up.
"Damn, how high up are we?" I asked myself.
I should of realised this sooner. These trees were like mountains. That was why I'd gotten sick before. How the hell did everyone else cope with this? They couldn't all be using the Force. Were they really all just more evolved than me?
Also why hadn't some idiot decided to install handrails? I knew that Wookies were great climbers but even they must run the risk of slipping off the edge of platforms.
I took a step back as I'd wondered to close to the edge, and started to relax, to slow my breathing. The light side was so much better for this sort of thing than the dark, so I began to feel much better. I wouldn't fall my feet firmly planted I was safe. The Force was with me.. so why couldn't I stop looking over the edge?
Then I felt a small pair of hands grab the lightly armoured seelve of my left arm. I thought at first that Bastila had sensed my distress, but it was Mission not Shan.
"I take it you don't like heights," Mission said while keeping a firm grip on me.
"Only if I can see how far I could fall" I explained "This is stupid. What's to stop me from me from slipping and failing? What if we get into a fight, one wrong move and the darkness could take us all".
Why had I said 'darkness' rather than death?
Because there was darkness down there. Power and darkness, and something that wanted me to go down there. It wanted me to... jump.
"How about I hold your hand" offered the teenage alien "then we can stop each other from going splat".
The hand holding did make me feel a little better, but picturing Mission falling down into that darkness scared me more than the idea of me going splat. I was already so attached to her that if anything did happen I just knew I go all yellow eyed.
Even worse than all that was the fact that Shan had to know how I was feeling yet she even bothered to offer me a single word of support. She either really didn't care about me as much as I'd thought or she making an effort not to care too much. Either way that really hurt.
"There's some people up ahead" Revan said as she addressed the whole group "Looks like Czerka."
"They should not be a problem" Bastila stated "The Czerka Corporation allowed us to pass onto the Great Walkway without incident".
"Well they're armed to the teeth, and they're standing over a body. So, I'm not betting on them being friendly at the moment" commented the Mando
"We're also heavily armed and we outnumber them" pointed out Carth "I'm sure they won't bother us".
I moved forward and took a quick glance. There were two thugs with blaster rifles standing over the body a human sized Wookie. Which was small for a Wookie as they were bigger than humans, so that meant the person they'd just killed would of been a teenager like Mission or maybe even younger.
"Now were in trouble" one of the killers was saying "they're worth a lot of money alive".
"Who cares it's just an alien" said the other
That made me angry. Slavery was bad enough, racist was awful, but these two fully grown and heavily armed men had just shot a child and now the 'good guys' were just going to ignore it so they good get on with their save the galaxy quest while avoiding trouble.
Oh hell no!
"Gothic what are you doing?" Shan asked as I made my move.
I ignored her and took out my blue bladed lightsabre. I activated it and that made the two murderers raise their blaster rifles.
"Back off, Jedi" one of them shouted.
"I'm no Jedi" I told them as they opend fire.
The Force was so easy to call upon now and it guided my hands. Perhaps it to wanted to me to strike down these child killers as it was so easy to deflect the bolts. One of the shots fired was sent right back at the shooter and the other panicked and ran. He didn't get very far I reached out and willed his throat to close. The uniformed slaver dropped to his knees and began clawing frantically at this neck as if he was trying to remove some sort of invisible noose.
"No!" shouted a voice.
It wasn't Shan or even Mission, it was Revan.
"You must never use the Force to kill directly"
"Shut up!" I replied without even meaning to say anything "I'm not going to let them get away with this".
Suddenly Revan's green bladed sabre was in the air and was spinning right past me. It killed the the thug, who had still been holding onto life and then returned to its owners hand.
"If you must kill then do so quickly. No one deserves to die like that".
I couldn't belivie that I was getting lectured about this sort of thing by a Dark Lord. Raven had ended tens of thousands, maybe even millions of lives and she dared to talk to me about killing.
Somehow I was able to stop myself from verballising any of that as Revan couldn't find out who she was just yet, but still I so wanted to put her down a few pegs.
Everyone was shocked, aside from the Mando who just gave me a nod, but only Shan looked judgemental. Misson was the first to calm down and what she said made me feel better.
"Maybe you should we should have just shot them, but I would have sent them FLYING off the platform".
"Misson!" said a very surprised Bastila.
"They shot a kid" reminded the alien "they killed her and they only cared that that she was worth more money alive. I'm not going to shed tears for people like that".
That seemed to end the discussion, for now at least as Revan said.
"Let's just find the free Wookies, then we can get to the surface".
I knew that I would pay for my actions at some point, but for now we had a job to do.
Everything else could wait.
Author Note
Those two chapters were the more spiritual side of this story along with some character devoplment. From now on the story will focus more on the adventure while the personal stuff will take up less time.