"Forgive me Father for I have sinned."

William whipped his head to the side, almost whacking his face against the grate of the confessional. Sharing a look, she smiled slightly at him and then he glanced away.

"I-I'm glad you came, doctor, I wasn't sure that you would. You must know that I never meant to say those awful things, I just, I thought you were courting that man and-"

She had thought it was something like that but even so was startled by his vehemence.

"Isaac and I are just good friends and have been since medical school. He's the reason I'm alive today. And please, call me Julia."

"What?!" he half shouted, half whispered. "What are you talking about, Julia?!"

"My abortion didn't exactly go as planned."

There was a silence between them in which the clock struck nine in the morning.

"He saved your life and I will be forever grateful to him."

"Tell me, William, how is that you've come to reconcile my past with your beliefs?"

"Isn't it obvious?" he said even more quietly than they had been previously whispering. He caught her eye. "I'm still in love with you. I can't seem to stop...and I don't ever want to."

She was happy to hear it but Julia was a stubborn creature (and a bit mad at him still after dropping her like so much trash) intent on pushing him and potentially ruining this brief reunion.

"So because you love me you will let me off the hook? Even though in your eyes I committed murder and showed no remorse for it? How can you not see me as a monster? How could you possibly still love me?"

"You are no monster, Julia," he said quickly. "If anything, I am." He paused. "I killed my best friend."

It was her turn to be confused and shocked. "What on earth do you mean, William?"

After a few seconds he sighed and then began. "Michael was intent on leaving the priesthood for Jessica and their child. I convinced him otherwise. And now he's dead. They are all dead." He shook his head wearily. "It's all my fault. I am a miserable excuse for a human being. I have no right to be a priest or to be happy ever again. You should just stay away from-"

"Please stop William." He looked at her expectantly. "You know as well as I do that you did not kill these people. You did not pull the trigger-"

"No," he said laughing bitterly, "I simply loaded the gun and placed it in her hands."

It was vaguely amusing to her that she seemed to have taken over the role of priest in this exchange, while he laid bare all of sins and she tried to counsel and console him.

"You did no such thing. She did that all on her own. Jessica was clearly unstable before that whole unfortunate affair even happened. People do not go killing others simply because they are upset, not unless they have some kind of mental imbalance."

"Then I failed her because I did not attempt to get her the help she so desperately needed! I could have urged the courts to put her in the asylum! Instead I did nothing! Like a coward! I'm worthless! I'm no better than the criminals you help put behind bars! I'm not worthy of you or-

"William!"

When they next looked at each other, she could see tears in his eyes and the sight brought back bad memories of that fateful day in the morgue. She shook her head in order to remain in the present.

"I don't want to ever hear you talking like that again."

"But-"

"Listen to me!" she whisper shouted. "The past is the past. The only way we can move forward is to accept what we've done, the choices we've made and get on with our lives."

He raised his eyebrows. "So I should just forget everything I have done, or didn't do, and pretend like it didn't happen?"

"I'm not saying we should forget everything and just sweep it under the rug. If we did that we would never learn from our mistakes and we would be doomed to repeat them our entire lives. And that is no way to live. You need to forgive yourself, William."

"That's just it, Julia," he said thickly, the tears freely flowing now. "I don't know how to. I don't deserve to have that which I denied my friend."

She desperately wanted to hold him but there were others nearby and she wasn't going to make an even bigger scene by crawling into the booth with him. Now she was seriously regretting her decision to surprise him in the confessional. Listening to her own advice, she got over this mistake quickly and settled for an alternative at intimacy, placing her hand on the grate, curling her fingertips through the holes in it.

"Look at me," she said and he did. "Take my hand." He couldn't really of course but their fingers could at least partially touch. "I know in my heart that you can find the strength to forgive yourself."

"How can you know that?"

She smiled softly. "Because you'll do it for me. For us. If we are to have any chance at a happy future together, you have to. And isn't that what you want?"

"More than anything," he said solemnly, no longer crying.

"Good." Julia removed her fingertips from his. Trying to get him focused again and while they still had some momentum she said, "Now that we've established that, what is your next step to achieving this goal?"

"To go to the Diocese and speak with Bishop Meladrano," he said mechanically. "To be released of my sacred bonds-" He glanced at her and smiled cautiously, "so that I can enter into a different sort."

Julia smiled warmly at him and then her smile faltered. "You know I can't give you children-"

He raised a hand to stop her. "I don't care. All I need is you."

Her smile returned again full force. "Well then, William Murdoch, what are you waiting for?"

Fin

I know you were probably all expecting more but this seemed like the right place to end it (mostly because I'm a sucker for parallels and symmetry). Besides, this story was more about their ability to get passed whatever hardships got in their way and appreciating each other for what they were, with all of their faults and foibles. It was not really a piece about physical romance. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. And now I can focus on another story that I seem to have neglected, one that has plenty of physical romance. ;)