Wild Thing
Chapter Fourteen
Part II: You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling
"They're really cute together, aren't they?"
"I know. They're the perfect couple."
"Those two are the most beautiful people in school. Of course they're the perfect couple; a match made in heaven."
I smirked feeling very satisfied with myself.
A match made in heaven, huh? That sounds about right.
Sakura and I sat under a tall tree, shading us from the sun's heat. We've been going out for weeks now, and things were better than great, it truly was perfect. The pink-headed goddess I cherished so much leaned her tired head against my chest, and I smiled softly wrapping an affectionate arm around her shoulders.
It was the first time we agreed on separating ourselves from our peers, and the quietness was a bliss. We were unusually popular for two freshmen who just arrived in a HUGE, new school, thinking we would be picked on or tortured on our first day. Even if it did occur that way, I'd still feel exceedingly satisfied knowing Sakura was by my side.
"It's Friday." her bright, green eyes stared into mine. "What do you wanna do?"
I sighed. "I thought we were going out with Kiba, Ino, you know, everyone."
It's true. Ever since Sakura came into my life, she's been willing to make TONS of friends, so-called-friends I felt bitter about since elementary. It sucked how she made friends so quickly in the short time she's been here, but that's just the way she is: friendly, easy to get along with, the works.
And unfortunately, as she reminded me so many times, 'my friends are your friends'. I thought it would take a miracle to get along with people who hated my guts since pre-school, that is until I become the shiny new boy toy of Aka high school. Funny how it works that way.
But I found it surprisingly easy to find common interest with each and every single one of my new 'friends'.
Kiba and I love pulling pranks and hitting on hot girls (until I become an item with Sakura). Shikamaru and I enjoy an occasional nap between boring classes. Ino has this tendency to crack crude jokes, while I retort with equal crudeness, and believe it or not, it's really fun. Lee invites me over to his room to watch his collection of kung-fu movies, which ROCKS my socks. Tenten's a great cook (to everyones' surprise) and would use Chouji and I as test-tasters to our greatest happiness. And finally, Shino. It's actually a funny thing, and he asked me, or threatened me, not to tell anyone of the common 'thing' we shared. Aw, but what the hell: Shino worships, and I mean WORSHIPS hard-core porn.
A small smile threatened to pull at the corners of my lips.
So I did have friends...
Thanks, Sakura.
"I know. But Kiba's going on a big date, and Tenten's cooking again, so she needs Chouji-"
"Whoa!" I interrupted her, feeling a little betrayed. "She's cooking without me?"
The indescribable beauty in my arms ignored me. "Everyone is really busy today. So I thought we could do something together." Well, that made sense. There's nothing I love more than spending alone-time with my girlfriend.
"Cool. So what's it gonna be?"
"I don't know. I picked cliff-diving last time, remember?"
Don't I know it. After that 'fun experience', every time I fall out of my bed, or anywhere for that matter, I scream for my life.
"I think it's your turn to choose."
"True." I nodded with relief. Some of Sakura's 'dates' involved me being scarred for life, and I wasn't about to sit around and wait for her to suggest we hitch to the mountains and feed wild bears. She waited patiently as I sat and thought about our next safe date. Then suddenly, an idea hit me. "Hey, let's plan a party!" I exclaimed excitedly.
She looked pleasantly surprised. "Are you serious?"
"Of course, it Friday! We'll plan everything tonight, and throw it the next day." I smirked, feeling very proud of myself.
"Naruto, you can't be serious. That's not enough time, it's impossible!"
"Come on! We can work it out, we're a match made in heaven!"
"Oh, so you overheard it too..." she muttered under her breath. "That does have a nice sound to it."
"Exactly. And a match made in heaven can accomplish the impossible, right?"
"Ugh. I guess."
"No guessing! We can do this. It'll be our first attempt as a couple." I said with glowing affection. She seemed to notice this, and gave in.
"All right. Let's give it a shot." she shrugged in defeat. I gave her a tight embrace and let my face fall into her soft, pink tresses. I always loved the way her hair smelled.
A few hours later, I ran to my dorm, determined to kick my roommate out for my hot date. The guy I roomed with had the hugest crush on Sakura, and I never did let it slide, even to this day. Thank god he moved after freshman year. If he stayed any longer I would've killed him. I never did forgive him for making, er, physical moves on Sakura.
It's really embarrassing to talk about...
"Idate. Get out." I looked at him annoyingly. Apparently, that was enough to scare him off. You see, compared to that weakling, I'm incredibly strong, and he suffered the consequences when he tried to make out with MY Sakura-chan.
Only a short while after, I heard someone come in and shut the door without a care. This person wrapped an arm around my waist and laid her head against my back, sighing like she was in a dream.
"I was beginning to think you'd never come, Saku-INO?!" I turned around and saw a blond, tall and gorgeous girl wrapped around my body.
She jumped in the air, looking stunned.
"W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-What the FUCK!" I screamed, sprinting towards the window, threatening to jump out and end my life.
"Oh my god!" She flushed tomato red. "Naruto, you idiot!"
"ME??! What the fuck were you trying to do, woman!? RAPE ME?!"
"I thought this was another guy's room!"
"LIAR!"
"No, I'm serious!"
"LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE! You come in here everyday to make fun of the crumbs under my bed!"
Ino looked flabbergasted.
Before I would commit suicide, Sakura opened the door and came in having no idea of my traumatic encounter.
"Sakura, beat her up! She raped me!"
"I did not!"
Sakura looked confused. "What's going on? What the hell did I miss this time!?" she threw her hands in the air.
"I...I can't even say." I said, feeling downright embarrassed.
Ino merely snorted. "Well, I'll tell you. I came in here thinking it was SOMEBODY ELSE'S room, and hugged Naruto on accident. He freaked out-"
"She raped me, Sakura. I feel so dirty-"
"I didn't rape you, you fuckin' idiot!"
At that moment, I couldn't believe Sakura. She didn't look affected at all. "Wow, Naruto. I can't believe you cheated on me."
"The she-devil," I shouted pointing frantically at Ino. "raped me!"
"And with Ino, my best girlfriend...," she sighed.
"NO! I was raped, I could've DIED-!" I tried to explain to her, but stopped when I realized she was smirking.
That dirty little bitch.
"Nice work, Ino-pig." she said, hi-fiving the blond psychopath. Ino laughed wildly nearly knocking the wind out of me. "You were right."
"I told you he'd freak out from something so tiny."
"I admitted you were right, didn't I?" Sakura muttered.
"Okay, forehead-girl, I'll see you later." Ino laughed one more time and made her way out the door. Before she left, she turned around and eyed me hungrily. "And I'll see you later, too." she growled seductively and left the room laughing all the way out.
I rolled my eyes at her feeble attempt to tease me, and looked at Sakura with the utmost...
pride.
She plopped right onto my bed, smirking wildly.
"That was a really good one." I acknowledged unwillingly.
"Hey, I have to keep up with my prankster boyfriend."
"Please. No one can keep up with me."
I grinned when she rolled her perfect round eyes at me. "Do you want to plan this party or shall we waste more time?"
"Let's get started."
"Okay." she brightened, sitting closer to me. We huddled in secrecy (just to be closer together) and I saw Sakura pull out a long list out of her jean's pocket.
"Whoa."
"Impressive, huh?"
"Are we throwing a party for Madonna or something?"
She rolled her eyes at me again. "No. But we are throwing a party for the entire school, and it has to be perfect."
I agreed completely. "So, how are we gonna get rid of the teachers, not to mention Tsunade-baa-chan."
"Hmmm. I was thinking we could lie."
"Yeah, tell her and the staff they're...invited to stay at a hotel for free!"
"A five-star hotel! Perfect. Adults can't refuse a free offer."
"Exactly. What's the false name we're going to use?"
Sakura looked thoughtful. "How about Uzuruno Hotel?"
"Where'd you get that from?"
"Our names smooshed together, obviously."
She was an evil genius.
"I love you."
Sakura giggled.
"No, really, Sakura." I said draining all traces of mischief from my face in hopes she would take me seriously. "I'm in love with you."
At that very moment, she looked completely tense.
Her body stiffened when she finally realized that I wasn't joking and was truly, madly in love with her. It wasn't the reaction I was hoping for, but then again, I never took it into consideration. Would she be angry? Uncomfortable? Is she gonna break up with me!? I wouldn't hope on my life for the last one. "Naruto...," she said softly.
I panicked.
"Um...I...that is to say...I don't...err...," She always did this to me. Always making me feel lame and stupid.
"Are you sure?"
I paused. Why wouldn't I be sure? Why wouldn't ANYONE be sure? More than half the school was in love with her, but I honestly believed my love was the real thing.
And it really was.
Still is.
"Of course. More than anything."
She wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed her body tight against mine.
"I love you, too."
Her soft, plump lips gently tugged at the corner of mines, and I made no hesitation in giving her entrance. What started off as an innocent kiss turned into a passionate make-out. And what started as a passionate make-out turned into...
something absolutely amazing.
That night, we didn't plan the party. Instead we did something completely unusual for us. We were so young and inexperienced, it felt awkward and strange at first, but it was the most memorable and greatest feeling of my entire life.
We kinda...er...
had sex.
There was an awkward silence, and Sasuke sat there, staring holes into Naruto's face.
"Um, what?" the story-teller looked nervous.
Sasuke gave him a stingy look. "I totally hate you."
"This isn't a good idea."
"I let you keep your 'good' ideas to yourself, so let me keep my awesome ones!"
"You are absurd."
"And you are a bird."
"What does that even mean? You're just trying to rhyme my insults."
"No I wasn't. You're skinny and brainless, just like a bird."
"Parrots are perhaps one of the smartest animals in the world."
"Well then I change my mind. You are a turd."
Ignoring that. "You are making a grave mistake, Princess. I happen to know that not ALL teachers get along with each other."
"Of course not. What normal person does, Orochimaru? Besides, this is the perfect opportunity to release everything out in the open."
"Dumbest idea ever."
"You're dumb."
Before Orochimaru could retort with a smart remark, a few selected people came rushing in through the Principal's door.
"You're shoving again."
"That's what you get for shoving your unprotected dick into my vagina!"
"Could you two be any more louder?"
"Shut up, Kakashi. You have no idea what I go through everyday having a wife who abuses you."
"I only abuse you because you abused me first!"
"Name one time, Kurenai. And please try not to make anything up."
"The time you shoved your unprotected dick-"
"Ahem."
Everyone fell into an awkward silence and watched as Principal Orochimaru and Tsunade stared at them like they should be committed. Orochimaru looked back at Tsunade mouthing the words 'dumbest idea ever.'
Tsunade ignored him and stood up to greet everyone.
"Everyone, please take a seat."
Kurenai and Asuma sat next to each other, exchanging dangerous looks, and Kakashi sat next to Shizune, feeling he would probably need special medical attention by the time the day was over. Gai beamed brightly at everyone not entirely sure where he should sit. It seemed all the chairs were taken (aside from the chairs that possessed objects on them indicating the seat was also taken, no doubt to keep Gai from sitting next to them). Still, he radiated brightly and did an optimistic thumbs up.
"All right, senior teachers!" Tsunade tried to liven things up, and not in the way Kurenai glared daggers at everyone in the room. Pregnancy sucks. "I have a very special lesson for you guys today."
"I'm a fuckin' woman." reminded Kurenai.
"Of course." Tsunade decided she would not get mad at the bloated woman just because of her pregnancy. But she would allow Naruto to pull un-harmful, but all the same, embarrassing pranks and pretend not to be aware of it, on Kurenai. "So today's one-time lesson will be based on complaints."
There wasn't a single person in the room who pretended to know what the big-chested principal was talking about. They looked at Orochimaru for an explanation, but he was long gone before they could ask.
He probably knew something absolutely dreadful was going to happen.
"I want each and everyone of you to write down as many complaints you can think of on this sheet of paper about your colleagues who sit in this room right now." she beamed, lifting up a sheet of paper and passing it around. "Then, we will openly discuss your matters and share our thoughts to resolve those complaints creating a peaceful and better environment for the teachers of Konoha High." If there was one thing everyone would agree on, it was the idiocy of Tsunade's lesson. "And who better to start with than our senior teachers!? Practice makes perfect, and once we're through, it'll be easier for me to confront the junior, sophomore, and freshmen teachers. I know, I'm amazing."
Nobody thought she was amazing.
"So you'll participate and you'll participate happily!" Tsunade growled through her teeth, lifting a fist in the air.
But they all thought she was frightening.
I was confused.
Why was this happening all of a sudden?
Did I do something wrong?
"I'm sorry." she told me in a torn voice. Her eyes watered, tears threatening to streak her perfectly, smooth skin. "It's not that I don't love you, because I really do...,"
I scoffed. "Just not the way I do." I finished for her.
It was obvious enough, she was trying to let me down easy. After all the time we spent together, after everything we've been through, she dumps me now; at the end of our freshmen year. Way to break a strong relationship, Sakura.
"You want to see other people, right?" I remarked bitterly.
"No, of course not."
"Then why!?"
She was speechless. I knew she couldn't speak with all the stress and tension I've been putting her through. It was the sole reason I did it, I really didn't want to know the reason why she wanted to end it.
"You know we're not right for each other." she held her tears in. I didn't know how long it would last.
"What are you saying? We're perfect." I tried my hardest to convince her. "I love you so much, and you love me, so what's the problem!?" I shouted, angry for letting her cause me so much pain.
Again, she couldn't speak. I could tell she was breaking into pieces. Her face twisted into the kind of agony that didn't go with her at all. "I love you, Naruto." she told me.
Okay, that wasn't any big news to me.
"But not the way I used to."
And suddenly, my entire world came crashing down. Not the way she used to? I was crushed, heart-broken, devastated by her shocking news flash. She waited for me to make a response; she would wait forever if she had to, but I didn't say a word. What could I say? But the thing that made me feel horrible was that same look of agony on her face. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I tried to lighten the mood, no matter how shitty I felt.
"So," I forced a smile. "you've lost that lovin' feeling, huh?"
She choked on her sobs and I heard her sweet laughter. "I love that song."
"Yeah, I know." I genuinely smiled, unexpectedly. Comforting words suddenly came so easy. "So what, no break up sex?"
"Naruto!"
"Can I at least watch you touch yourself?"
"What the fu-"
"Or take a shower?"
"You are a class one horn dog."
"Fine. I'll settle watching you change into that tight, fitting t-shirt."
I managed to create a short time of playfulness, but nothing lasts forever. Her expression changed so quickly, it overwhelmed me. Sakura was grave again. "I'm really sorry, Naruto." she apologized again.
"Is this what you want?"
"I don't want to hurt you."
I paused.
Of course she didn't want to hurt me. That's why she was breaking up with me. "Okay, I understand." I shrugged, hoping this was enough for her. For a long moment, there was silence. Then I forced a wide grin. "Do you mind if I hit on that dark-haired sophomore girl? She's been eyeing me out a lot lately. The one with the big boobs, and perfect butt-" she hit me hard against my chest.
"We're breaking up and you're talking about hitting on other girls!?" Sakura laughed mechanically.
I scoffed. "Hey, I'm really high in demand, in case you didn't know."
"Oh, I know." she rolled her eyes.
There was another silence between us again, but it wasn't the uncomfortable kind. We looked into each others eyes for a moment longer and she wrapped her arms around my waist. I returned the embrace, holding her tight to my body. "I'm gonna miss you." I whispered in her ear. She nodded her head.
"We're still going to see each other everyday."
"It'll be different."
"I know."
"I still love you, you know."
"I know."
"Hmph. Is that all?"
"I love you, too."
"Right." I said pulling away from her. I had to let go. "So Me. Dark-haired girl. Hit on?"
"Okay, Tarzan. Go for it."
Of course, I had no intentions of hitting on anybody. At least not for a while...
"We'll still be friends, right?"
"Best friends."
"I kinda, actually like the sound of that." I admitted truthfully.
After that, things between us were surprisingly smooth. We did everything together despite our broken girlfriend-boyfriend relationship.
We're a lot like how we are today, except I'm chasing after a different girl who's gotten me hooked more than Sakura ever had. I never thought it would happen; I thought I would never feel the same way about a girl like I did for Sakura. But things are better this way. We're closer than we ever were as a couple. She tells me things she would only confront to a friend and never a boyfriend, she's the greatest bestfriend I ever had.
But I'm set on believing Hinata Hyuuga will be the greatest girlfriend I'll ever have.
Minutes passed, and the process of writing down complaints on colleagues was completed.
Tsunade's eyes gleamed when she got the results back. On the top of her stack was a neatly hand-written name: Kurenai. "Right, Kurenai first." she chirped, looking down on the paper. She scanned through it briefly and looked up at everyones' curious faces. "There's quite a lot."
"No surprise there." Asuma muttered.
Tsunade cleared her throat. "Okay 'I don't like the way Orochimaru looks at my belly. Like he's going to rip my baby out of me and experiment on it or something.' Very interesting. He might just do that. But unfortunately Orochimaru's not here, so you picked the wrong guy to complain about." Kurenai shrugged. "'I'm sick and tired of Shizune always calling me a fat bitch behind my back.'Shizune, is this true!?" the big-chested woman looked thoroughly horrified.
"Who told you? It was Kiba wasn't it? Ooooh, that little asshole." Shizune whispered darkly.
"Well, Shizune, you're just gonna have to work on that problem on your own. I'm sure its not hard to stop calling people fat bitches behind their backs." Tsunade nodded faithfully towards her former student. "'Kakashi's mask is really annoying. Everyone knows he's ugly underneath, so he might as well take it off and admit it already.' Yes, Kakashi, that is something you should work on. I don't understand that either."
Kakashi casted a look directly towards Kurenai, hating her pregnancy.
"'Asuma, my so called husband, doesn't pay enough attention to me and my needs-'"
"Are you kidding me, woman?" Asuma interrupted, earning him a glare from his wife. "I had to fly on a plane to Guam to buy the right kind of herbal fruit just to have you spit it out and tell me to buy fudge-cakes from the supermarket. I had to walk ten miles on my blistering feet to give a message to your mother saying 'Are you coming to dinner tonight?', walk back to you to say 'I'm not sure, is it okay?', walk back to her and say 'Of course, mother, I love you so much!', walk back to you and tell you 'Okay sweet pumpkin pie, I'm on my way.', walk to her again and say 'I love you, mom. You're the best!' EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE A FUCKING PHONE!" he lit up four cigarettes and shoved it all in his mouth.
Kurenai huffed and looked the other way.
Wow, these people are crazy.
"Um, okaaaay." Tsunade cleared her throat looking back at Kurenai's list. "Well, there's about, let's see, a thousand more complaints concerning everyone, but let's move on to someone else, shall we?"
"Please." Kakashi begged.
"All right, let's look at your complaints, Kakashi."
"How about we take another crack at Kurenai's list?" the silver-haired educator quickly suggested.
"No, Kakashi. Yours is right here and ready to be read aloud." she said, skimming through the list. "Hmm. 'My hair is too silver.'" Tsunade looked back at the masked-face complainer. "Simple solution: dye your hair. 'I have too many muscles.' Another simple solution: exercise less. 'My butt is too perfect.' Eat some doughnuts, I guess." She shrugged. "'I'm too smart.' Um, I think that's the reason why I hired you, but, I guess you can dumb yourself down. You are a little bit of a smart-ass. 'I have a perfect set of abs, and it kills me.' Again, less exercise."
With an unexpected jolt, Tsunade realized something.
"Kakashi, are all these complaints about yourself?"
"Yes." he admitted gravely. "I'm way too perfect."
Tsunade nodded her head at him very oddly. "Next: Gai. Wow, you actually have some complaints."
"Of course." He sighed.
"Let's see. 'Kakashi's hair is too silver. Kakashi has too many muscles. Kakashi's butt is too perfect. Kakashi's too smart. Kakashi has a perfect set of abs, and it kills me.' Huh." Tsunade lifted her head to see Gai nodding, also very gravely. "Did you copy this off of Kakashi's paper?" she muttered.
"Believe it or not, I didn't."
There was an awkward silence.
"You have issues."
"I know. My youthful jealousy is disturbing."
"You got that right. After the lesson, I think I should send you to a psychiatrist."
"I've been trying that for years now. Nothin'."
"Okay. Maybe you should get laid and stop thinking about Kakashi."
"I've never tried that before."
"I think you really should."
"Me, too."
"Okay, moving on. Asuma...," she said staring at his paper and back at him. "These are all complaints on Kurenai."
Kurenai snapped her head haughtily towards her husband.
"Do you blame me?" he shrugged.
Tsunade couldn't argue with that. "Not really."
"What should I do?"
"I think you should see a psychiatrist, too."
"Interesting suggestion." Asume pretended to be thoughtful. "How about Kurenai sees a psychiatrist?"
"Perhaps that makes more sense."
"I agree." Asuma grinned.
"It's settled then-"
"Wait a minute, what-!" Kurenai panicked.
"Whoooo's next?" she looked at the next sheet of paper. "Oh, goody, Shizune." she gave her former student a sloppy smile. "Ohhhh, Shizune?" she looked at her list and nodded her head disappointingly.
Everyone looked confused and stared at the school nurse in wonder.
"These complaints are all on...,"
Shizune nodded her head.
"Kakashi."
"Hey, I'm not the only one! YES!" Gai jumped in the air.
Kakashi sank into his chair, looking miserably uncomfortable.
Tsunade continued on. "Kakashi never listens to me'"
"Does he listen to anyone?" Asuma grunted.
"'He's always late for his physical examination.'"
"He's late for everything." Kurenai muttered bitterly.
"'He never returns any of my phone calls.'..."
"Join the club." murmured Gai.
Another awkward silence.
"I'm beginning to think I started a really bad idea." said Tsunade, rubbing her temples.
"No, duh." Kakashi rolled his eyes.
"So, erm, I'll see you all later, I guess." Tsunade scratched her head, watching everyone desperately trying to get out of the door.
"Stop shoving!"
"Get out of my way, Asuma, you big asshole!"
"Watch it, you fat bitch!"
"I'm outta here first, and there's nothing you guys can do to stop me!" Kakashi pushed through everyone, all being jammed at the door.
"Not if I beat you to it, Kakashi!" Gai said in determination.
"By the way, don't ever call me again." Kakashi muttered.
Sasuke sat in stillness, overwhelmed by what he had just heard. He never paid attention to a story so disturbing in his life. Even the hilarious parts (when Sakura showed a bit of attitude on her first day of school) was a distant memory not at all consumed by the horrible side of the story. For a minute there, he wasn't sure it was wise to hear Naruto's point of view on something so personal and shocking.
"I still can't believe you slept with her?" he growled, feeling extremely disrupted for some reason.
Naruto noticed the deadly vibe and scooted away a little. "Erm, yeah. So what? You probably slept with a lot of women."
True. But they were simple one night stands. Women he'd never think to look at again (as much as they wanted him to).
Sakura is different.
"She still seems so innocent."
"She is!" Naruto defended his best friend's honor. "Just not in that way. She's actually kinda dirty once you-"
"Shut up."
"Right."
His life wasn't exactly going the way it should, it was so much worse. Sasuke placed his face into his hands and sat there, not entirely sure how he felt. "What do I do now?" He asked himself rhetorically. Unfortunately, he had Naruto.
"I'll tell you what you should do first!" said the hyperactive boy. "Tell me everything you know about Hinata."
"I can't."
"Why not!? I told you about me and Sakura."
"No, dobe, I really can't. I don't know anything about the Hyuuga's." Sasuke growled in annoyance.
"Oh, come on. You have to at least know something. ANYTHING." Naruto almost pleaded.
Well, Naruto did do him a favor, so Sasuke supposed he could find at least one memory of the weirdo Hyuuga.
"Fine." he complained.
Just like you and Sakura, Hinata and I were freshmen when we met.
We shared one class together, and I really didn't care about anyone back then, so I had no reason to pay attention to her. Besides, I hated her cousin, Neji Hyuuga, the asshole who always tried to compete against me but always lost.
Anyway, I remembered the time we were starting first period, and the teacher left to use the bathroom. Hinata was an easy target to pick on, she wasn't as appealing as she is now (which is probably the reason why guys leave her alone nowadays).
One day, I saw some guys add in shots of alcohol into her water bottle every time she wasn't looking.
"Hey, come on, guys. Another chance."
"Hehehehe."
Suigetsu leaned in and poured in a great amount of vodka into Hinata's bottle of water. Sora watched and giggled like a stupid girl.
She drank it with ease, and Suigetsu's eyes widened in wonder. He looked at his bottle of vodka and took a small sip. He spit it out and coughed frantically, stunned.
Again, she wasn't looking, and he poured more into her bottle, adding larger amounts. Hinata took a big sip, and sighed, putting it back down again. She thought she was really drinking water, and apparently, it seemed like it. Suigetsu went wild with frustration. He poured all of the contents in the glass bottle into Hinata's water bottle, thinking it would do the trick.
Not really.
In fact, not at all.
Hinata drank it smoothly like it was nothing to her at all.
Suigetsu pulled his hair out, driving himself insane.
"And that's all I know."
Apparently that was enough for Naruto, because Sasuke could've sworn he saw stars in the crazy blond boy's eyes. He was completely struck by an arrow.
"I know she drinks better than I do." he said sighing like a boy in love, remembering the war against boys and girls. She even out drank him! The best drinker in Konoha high (next to Udon). "But an entire bottle of vodka, like it was water? She's amazing."
Sasuke snorted.
"But how can I get closer to her without her fainting on me all the time?" Naruto pondered thoughtfully.
"All I know is that she feels more comfortable around females." Sasuke helped, surprisingly.
"Yeah...Oh, yeeeeaaaaah." Naruto's eyes widened in realization.
In that moment, Sasuke instantly turned his judging eyes towards the boy with the idea. "Don't tell me you're going to-"
"Oh yeah." Naruto grinned mischievously.
"I'm warning you now, if you cherish your dignity, don't." Sasuke eyed him.
"My dignity died long ago when Hinata fainted on me."
"You'll never pull it off. It'll take a fucking miracle." Sasuke scoffed. Even he could admit Naruto was anything but feminine.
"There can be miracles, when you believe."
Except when he sang songs like that.
"Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill."
"Just stop-"
"Who knows what miracles you can achieve."
Sasuke found himself tapping his fingers on hard wood to the beat.
Ohhhhhh no.
"When you believe, somehow you wiillll. You will when you belieeeeeeeve."
Fuck it.