"Wesley. There is something I wish to discuss with you."

Wesley looked up from unbuttoning his shirt. "Certainly, Illyria."

"The humans we encounter stare at me and treat me strangely. They did not look at you or the girl this way, or the vampire, although he is also non-human."

"Well, Spike's -- non-humanness is a bit more subtle. He can, generally speaking, control his visage."

"As I can."

Wesley grimaced. "As you can."

"This is what I wish to discuss. Since our battle, we have moved exclusively in human realms..."

"You want my permission... to look like Fred when we go out."

"If they find me strange, I am memorable. If we are attempting to hide, it would be better if none of us were memorable."

"You... do stand out," Wesley sighed. "As much as I hate it, you have a point."

"Do I have your permission?"

Wesley stared at her sadly. "Won't it be difficult for you?"

Illyria cocked her head curiously.

"Maintaining that form," Wesley explained. "Won't that be... draining?"

"I find it easier and easier. Sometimes it is difficult not to be her."

Wesley froze. "Explain."

"I have been... confused since my powers left. Overwhelmed by emotions, thoughts I am unable to control. The more the emotions fill me, the more I have... urges. Urges to contract the second person plural in your language. Urges to..." Illyria broke off, staring at Wesley's lips. "Do things. Being her is... relaxing."

Wesley stared.

"The way that you are looking at me is disconcerting."

"Ah. It's another emotion, one I believe you are unfamiliar with, Illyria. You have my permission. I am going to shower. After that, perhaps you would like to go down and get some pancakes."

"I like pancakes."

The tiniest ghost of a smile touched Wesley's lips. "Yes. Yes, you do."

He headed into the bathroom, stopping when Illyria called him.

"Wesley? Which emotion is this that I am unfamiliar with?"

Wesley closed the bathroom door against her, leaning his forehead against the door.

"Hope, Illyria," he whispered. "It's called... hope."

---------------------

"I thought you said it was going to be one cigarette."

"It was," Willow said, blowing a smoke ring. "I've had a bad day, okay?"

Buffy sat down next to her on the rock. "What happened?"

"I... I mean, I shouldn't be feeling like this. I know that. I just..."

"Just... what?"

"Well, it turns out that I'm not Super Willow at all. I'm more like... a rogue WonderTwin."

"Splainy?"

"Xander and me, we're all... yin-yangy. Apparently I wasn't 'designed' to do magic without him. It's just so... so fifties, y'know? It's gross. I mean, a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle, right? And here's I've been with the goddess and the yay for boobies and apparently veiny Willow is what happens when I get all women's libby."

"Wow. You have never made less sense. And that's saying a lot."

"Xander's my 'magical soulmate', apparently. When I do magic with him, everything's fine, because la-la-la we're two halves of a whole breeder-creation magic sexual-energy... hoo-haa. And the reason most of my magic goes all boom is because I didn't, y'know, stand by my warlock, and all the headaches and the nosebleeds and the scary black eyes and the veiny was what I get for not knowing my place."

"Xander's a warlock?"

Willow rolled her eyes heavenward. "Apparently."

"Well, that's great!" Buffy took a look at Willow's face. "Or... not great... why is this not great?"

"No, I mean... it's great, I guess. Huzzah for Xander, y'know? It's just... I mean... I feel like Dawn, all of a sudden."

"Eh?"

"Well, you know. Even when she was way older than we'd been when we were all out, y'know, stakin' the vamps, everyone treated her like she couldn't be left alone for five seconds. Don't touch the books, Dawn. Don't leave the house, Dawn. Everything you try to do you screw up, Dawn."

"And... why would you feel like that?"

"Because... because Giles made it sound like everything I've ever screwed up, I screwed up because I... crossed the street without Xander holding my hand!"

"Ah, Giles. The master of tact."

"Well, it wouldn't hurt so much if it weren't true. I mean, when Xander and I do the magic, I can... I can feel that it's true. Doing magic with Tara felt great... sharing anything with Tara felt great... but doing magic with Xander makes me feel like... like peanut butter and jelly, you know? It just fits, the magic fits, like it's part of me, like it comes from me, not something I sucked out and used. It's like... it's like he completes my circuit, and it... oh God, Buffy, it makes me feel so guilty."

"Guilty? Whoa. You lost me there. Why would that make you feel guilty?"

"Because Tara completes me! Tara's my magical partner! I feel like I'm... cheating on her! If she were here..."

"Uh, Will? Now's a bad time to bring up the existence of Kennedy, right?"

"Kennedy's not the same," Willow sighed. "I mean... I felt some of this when I started my relationship with her, but... Kennedy's a fighter, a Slayer. She doesn't understand magic, she doesn't really understand me. I mean... she cares about me... and I care about her... it's just different. Magic's so much of me now, Buffy. Tara could share that, could share that part of me no one else could share, and not sharing it with Kennedy made... it made a holy place in me, y'know? A place that was still all Tara's, a place I was saving for her."

"And now you're supposed to share it with Xander."

"Kennedy... there's no danger of her ever getting all the way inside me. We're too different. Xander... Xander could get in. He's already in my heart, already my best friend, and now, with this magic thing, that's so much stronger... I'm afraid of him, Buffy. I'm afraid he's... going to take her place."

"Will... is this why you've been all... y'know... cheering 'Hey, Hi, I'm Not Bi!' lately? I mean, normally, you're Willow, who's a lesbian... and lately, you've been kinda... a lesbian, who's Willow."

"Buffy..." Willow said miserably, "I slept with him."

Buffed paled. "You huh-what?"

"Last night. We started working a spell to grow his eye back, we both blacked out, and we woke up naked and smooshy and... I had stuff on me."

"You slept with Xander."

"Yeah, that's kinda what I was implying with the naked and smooshy."

"Have you told Kennedy?"

"No. Buffy, how can I? She'll be so hurt, and she won't take it out on me, where it belongs, she's gonna..."

"... kick Xander's ass."

"Yeah. Pretty much."

"So every time you guys do a spell, you're gonna..."

"No! At least, I hope not. We -- well, Xander did a spell today..."

"Okay, you're gonna have to give me a minute to process that..."

"He was really great. He conjured up potstickers, they were really good."

"Can he do mint-chocolate-chip ice cream?"

"Probably. And that was the thing. We started, y'know, with the spell stuff and all the twinglies, and Giles told him to use the lust as a weapon, as a power source. And Xander did, and the spell worked great, and we didn't, y'know, jump each other or anything. It was like... like the lust was a fuel, just like my rage was when I..."

"Eros and Thanatos," Buffy interrupted.

Willow looked shocked.

"C'mon, Will, I didn't sleep through every psych class."

"No, you stared at Riley, too."

"Riley..." Buffy sighed. "God, the last time I saw him, that was such a mess... stupid Spike..."

She trailed off. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"N-no reason. Um, yeah, you're right. Eros, the life urge, yeah. I should... go research that..."

"Willow, you know something."

"No, I don't..."

"Willow, c'mon, you're the worst liar in the world... what are you hiding?"

"You don't want to know."

"Tell me."

"God, me and my big mouth. You're not going to shut up until I tell you, are you?"

Buffy crossed her arms defiantly. "Nope."

"Fine." Willow reached out, touching Buffy's arm. There was a brief green flash.

"What did you just... oh my God!" Buffy cried. "He... he wasn't..."

Willow nodded.

"Why didn't he tell me? I punched him... I dumped him... why didn't he just explain?"

"He had his reasons."

"What were they?"

When Willow didn't answer, Buffy grabbed her arm. "I know you know. Tell me why he didn't explain."

"Buffy, it's bad enough I raped Spike's brain without going around giving his secrets out..."

"But, Will... I... one more."

"Huh?"

"Give me one more. C'mon. Just one. You can make it something he wouldn't mind me knowing! C'mon, one more."

"Why?"

"Because! I thought he was dead, okay, I missed him! I... I still miss him! I haven't gotten to see him! C'mon, Will, you have his whole brain, gimme just... gimme just a little bit."

"Fine," Willow sighed. "Fine..."

---------------------

"This isn't more of that spinach stuff, is it?" Dawn says weakly from the bed.

"No, pet. Chicken noodle. Out of the can. Totally safe." Spike sets the tray down next to her, pulling a thermometer out of his pocket and sitting at her side. "Open up, Nibblet."

She stays his hand. "Spike? Why are you so nice to me?"

"Fattenin' you up to eat you later, of course," Spike grins. "C'mon, have some tasty thermometer."

"No... seriously. Xander said you were only nice to me to get in Buffy's pants, but... Buffy's dead. So why are you still nice to me?"

"Well... now I'm trying to get into Xander's pants," Spike jokes nervously.

"Spike!"

His smile drains. "I made a promise, Nibblet."

"But... you're supposed to be all evil and stuff..."

"That's right." Spike shakes the thermometer. "I'm evil, and don't you ever forget that. Now, open up."

He slides the thermometer into her mouth, gently settling a pillow across Dawn's lap and topping it with the tray of soup. "Look, Bit. Bein' evil's all about doin' whatever it takes to get what you want, right? And I want you to eat your soup. Grrr."

He pulls the thermometer out, staring at it in horror. "Bugger all."

"I don't want to go to the hospital," Dawn says in panic. "They won't let in anyone but the BuffyBot... she's not ready..."

"I'll do a spot of B&E once you're asleep and get you some antibiotics, pet. Don't worry." Spike reaches out, strokes her hair. "You need anything from the drugstore?"

Dawn laughs. "I love you."

A look of utter wonder crosses Spike's face, quickly extinguished by the falling curtain of apathy. "That right, pet? Why's that?"

"Because you're funny. All bringing me soup and taking my temperature and casually planning a robbery."

"Told you I was evil." He tucks the blanket in around her knees.

"Will you sing to me?"

"Will you eat your soup?"

"Yeah. Sing the one I like."

"Right. Okay. But first..."

Dawn rolls her eyes. "If I tell anyone Spike knows show tunes, he will rip off my head and drink from my brain stem."

"Right."

---------------------

"Bit?" Spike groaned, struggling up from the bed. "Bit, are you all right?"

He heard the sound of running water in the bathroom and raised his voice. "Thought you might've gotten knocked out, too, pet. No more hoodoo tonight, all right? I don't fancy another unscheduled nap."

Dawn stepped out of the bathroom, wringing her hands. "Hello, Spike."

"Well, hello to you too, Nibblet. Look, I'm serious about the hocus-pocus, right?" Spike glanced at the dark television, then back at Dawn with a teasing smile. "Although, since you turned off the bint, I'm prepared to forgive you."

"Spike, we... we need to talk. It's very important."

Spike's eyes narrowed. "You're... talkin' funny... walkin' funny, too..."

Dawn bit her lip. "I, uh, I think I understand what happened, and I'm... I'm pretty sure you're going to be angry, really angry, when I tell you. I need you to swear that you're not going to, um, stake yourself or run out in the sunshine..."

"Nibblet," Spike whispered, "What have you done?"

"Spike, I need you to swear that you're going to stay calm and listen to me. I think we can fix this... or at least, Willow and Xander can..."

"Bit, you're not makin' a bit o'sense..."

"Just swear... please?"

"Fine. No strolls in the sunbeams or sharp pointy wooden things. Start talkin'."

Dawn sat down gingerly on the edge of the bed. "Spike? Look at me."

"I am lookin' at you, I..." Spike trailed off, eyes widening.

"Can you... can you tell? I thought maybe you'd be able to tell..."

"Bloody hell," Spike whispered in awe. "Hullo, Glinda."