Whooaa! I am totally rolling with these chapters right now. But I'm still not satisfied with my work. A writer is never supposed to be satisfied with their work. And again, this barely has any meat to its bones. But I want to make Miley's meltdown and insane state last for another two chapters or three. I have the Epilogue finished already. It's so sad, it almost made me cry! I almost made myself cry! I can't believe I did that. If you like this, and want to read the last few chapters of this annnd the depressing epilogue, then review, review, review! I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! I love it, I read each and every one...so keep em rolling. If the reviews keep coming then this will most likely be finished by Christmas. I actually, might post the epilogue on Christmas. Make you guys cry! lol. Kidding.
Leave your thoughts and ideas.
xoAllison
Chapter 14
It's The Whole Love, Hate, Wanna Totally Kill Thaaang.
What?!
"I know it's weird...ya'll are so young but, I love her," he says.
No.
No, Jackson you can't love her.
Because I love her.
I had her first.
You can't just steal her away from me, Jackson.
Don't you care about me?
I know, you never knew about Lilly and I.
But so what?
I love her.
Do you hear me, Jackson?
I love her.
"She's not like other girls around here. She doesn't worry about hair or makeup, or...anything," he says.
I know Jackson.
Don't you think there is a reason why I loved her so much?
She's beautiful, yes.
She's smart, yes.
She's not like any other girls, yes.
But she's mine.
Forever.
She will never be yours Jackson.
Never freaking ever.
I'm going to tell you.
And I'm going to kill you afterwards.
Really.
"Can I tell you something, Jackson?" I say.
He looks at me.
Tears glisten in his eyes.
But he grins, nods.
"Anything, Mile. Anything at all," he says.
The anger is blistering my insides.
Bubbling, churning.
Searing my concentration.
I am with no hesitation.
"Me and Lilly are...well, together," I say.
I contain my smirk.
I see his face.
His eyes widen, nostrils flare.
Grinds his jaw, looks to his feet.
So funny to see him this way.
To see his wilting heart smashed.
Stomped.
Crushed.
He doesn't know what to say.
So we walk in silence.
For so long.
Then I ask,
Because he must know,
"Jackson, where does Daddy keep his gun?"
He doesn't look up at me.
I can see the tears staining his face.
Running and sliding.
Leaving trails of red on his cheeks.
I bite my lip, hard.
Don't want to laugh.
I nudge him.
He doesn't look at me.
No answer.
Again, nudge.
"Top drawer. Leave me alone," he says.
Thanks, Jerkson.
For everything.
I'll be happy to leave you alone.
I don't need you anyway.
I don't need anyone.
Besides Lilly.
The house looms ahead.
I walk in front of him.
Feet scraping the ground.
I have what I need.
---
Jackson told me the truth.
Because here it is.
In my palms.
Shiny and silver.
Cold and hard.
Metal.
Loaded.
I smile.
This is all I need.
To win.
To be free.
From Ben.
From school.
From everything.
I feel like I can fly.
I hear footsteps.
I think they are Linda's.
I slide the gun down my pants.
Nowhere else to put it.
It is cold against my thigh.
It is unsettling.
It reminds me of -
"Miley?"
Ughh.
Linda.
I was right.
I look at her.
"What are you doing?"
Think.
Come on, Miley.
Think of it.
An excuse.
Anything.
"Nothing. Sleepwalking," I say.
Sleepwalking?
Oh, gosh.
I really am a ditz.
She chuckles.
I leave before she can talk to me.
The gun slides down my leg.
I hobble.
Fast as I can with my fat belly.
Down the hall.
Into my room.
Lock the door.
Plunk on my bed.
Pick the gun from the bottom of my jeans.
It's perfect.
You should see it.
It really is.
It's new.
And shiny.
Pretty.
Metal.
Absolutely lovely.
I love it.
Whoa.
Maybe I am crazy.
I tuck the gun under my pillow.
Should be safe.
But wait-
What if Linda changes my sheets when I'm not home?
I take the gun out from the pillow.
My dresser.
What if Linda does laundry?
Maybe I can just keep it with me.
Until it is time.
My bra.
That is a place nobody would look.
Except for Ben.
Oh, gosh.
Thinking of him makes my head spin.
And my throat burn.
Anger boils.
I will kill him first.
I slide the gun in between my bra and my breast.
It is cold and uncomfortable against my niple.
I will get used to lugging it around.
Like I did with my belly.
And with my secret.
Of being Hannah Montana.
Of being a lesbian.
Of having sex with my best friend.
Of being pregnant.
With somebody I hate.
Ben is not even a 'somebody'.
Ben is a THING.
THING.
I will kill THING.
And Oliver.
And Saint Sarah.
And Amber and Ashley.
And Jackson.
And my father.
And Linda.
And Dandruff Danny.
And Mikayla.
And Jake Ryan.
And Lilly.