Chapter 13
"Just how people do it," Ms Cartman said. She had already been explaining to Cartman about the cats for ten minuets, and they were sitting at the kitchen table.
"So..." Cartman replied, "what will happen?"
"Oh..nothing Eric."
"Will they die?"
"Oh no. The most possible thing to happen, is for the girl to get pregnant."
"Chocolate is gonna get pregnant?"
"Well...yeah Eric. I mean, if she never got neutered, then there's a 99.8 percent chance that she's gonna have kittens."
Huh? "K...kittens?"
"Uh-huh."
"You mean...MORE? MORE cats?"
"Well...yes Eric. Isn't it great?"
Great? It's the most horrible thing ever! Cartman didn't like the sound of this. So far, five cats were bothering him, and now who knows how many kittens were gonna be born, causing more annoyance toward him. "Mom?"
"Yes Eric?"
"I think we need to do something."
"What's that?"
"I think...we need to kill Chocolate."
Kyle tiredly threw his backpack to the side as he entered the house.
"Hey Kyle, how was your day?" his mom asked.
"Fine." The Jew gave no eye contact toward his mother, and entered the kitchen to get a glass of water.
Sheila grew concerned, for Kyle didn't look the happiest. So she entered the kitchen, finding her son at the table. "Kyle, is everything ok, bubby?"
"Yeah." Except you won't let me get a pet.
"You look horrible honey. Did you get stressed today?"
"No mom, I'm just tired." Kyle got up, and left his mother in confusion. He quickly ran up to his room, and got on the computer. Perhaps all the horror was over.
He went to myspace, hoping that he wouldn't find any recent messages on females. Kyle's eyes were closed, and his fingers were crossed. He soon opened his eyes, and gasped.
There were twenty messages, obviously from girls only.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
"Kyle, what's the problem!" Gerald asked, as he entered his son's room.
But the nine year old didn't reply. He was just frozen, his eyes wide open.
"Kyle? Kyle!" Kyle's father walked up and got his attention. "What's with the screaming?"
"It's...it's...Cartman...is...gonna...pay!"
"Kyle, what is your problem?!"
The Jew turned to his father, who was glaring. "I hate girls! What did Cartman do?!"
"What are you talking about? And what do you mean you hate girls? You...oh no."
"What?"
Gerald kneeled to Kyle's size. "Kyle, are you having thoughts about guys?"
"What...what are you talking about?"
"You said you hate girls. Do you like guys?"
"I hang out with guys all the time, dad! Why wouldn't I like them?!"
"Kyle...what kind of thoughts do you have around your guy friends?"
"I don't know. It's just that girls have coodies!"
"What...you mean...it's not that you're gay?"
"What?! No!"
"Oh...you mean...you haven't started puberty yet."
"Oh dad, please don't say that word." This discussion wasn't getting Kyle anywhere. He was ticked off at Cartman, but if there was any topic he wanted to discuss with his parents, he wanted it to be the pet topic. "I want a pet!"
"What? Kyle, we already explained to you..."
"Stan has his own pet that loves him and plays with him. He takes good care of him. Why can't I do that?"
"Because, Kyle! You have plenty of things to be thankful for! Now stop with the pet thing!"
"No! I won't! Not until you at least let me use my own money to rescue..."
"Kyle...this discussion is over. Don't bring it up anymore!" Gerald finally left, leaving Kyle angry.
"THIS IS NOT FAIR."
Later that evening, Kyle sat outside, depressed. The only thing he could think now, was that he hated his parents so much. All of a sudden, he heard a small sound, and looked ahead.
It was the small orange and white kitten that he knew
Kyle smiled. "Hey." He got up and walked up to the feline, who was purring. The Jew started petting him. "How are you?"
The small cat then jumped on him, and started rubbing itself against Kyle's face. The Jew fell over, and started giggling, having fun with the cat.
But at that second, the cat turned his head, hearing another voice from the distance, and ran away. Kyle just sat their smiling, watching the cat run away. He felt so connected to it. Too bad that it wasn't his.
The orange and white cat kept running, until it stopped, where Cartman was standing. "There you are, Tiger. I was looking for you." Snowbell, Tinkerbell, Cheese Poof, Chocolate, and even Mr. Kitty were also there, by the fat boy's side.
"Alright, lets go to my house."
So the fat boy lead the cats into his house, and up the stairs to the attack. "Ok, good thing my mom didn't catch us."
He closed the door behind him, and faced all the felines. "Alright, I'm glad I have all of you here. I know I have yelled at Snowbell and Tinkerbell. And guys, I apologize to you for that. But it seems that you two can be very quiet in my bed, and if you can do that, then you can do anything I want. So I except you sleeping over. Also, Chocolate, I still don't like the idea of you having kittens, and I wanted to kill you so bad for that. Seriously, there are enough of you. But my mom said no, and I guess...maybe the more the better."
The cats did nothing, but sat there, all purring, looking at the fat boy.
"Ok," Cartman continued, "it seems that the Jew is very, very angry about my prank." He started walking back and forth with his hands folded behind his back. "Which is good, but he got me to the principle's office, which is bad. Thanks to me, Kyle is probably getting tons of Ims and messages from whoever there is. Now, I have no idea why no girls were hitting on him at school, but I do know that they aren't gonna give up, because I am good at telling them how good he is. Maybe they already figured out Kyle was a Jew rat. Or maybe they saw that he was ugly. I have no idea, but I do know that there are tons of other girls who get on myspace besides the girls at school. So I'm not doubting this one bit." Cartman stopped walking, and paused for a few seconds.
"If you guys are always with me, then it must be true that you are listening to me now. If Kyle does something else horrible to me, then I will get him back again. I can't stop what I just did, but I can do more. If Stan does anything bad, I will hurt him. If Kenny does, I will hurt him. If anybody touches me, I will get them back! They never listen to me." He turned to the cats, who were all still staring at him. He was shocked. Could they actually be listening to everything he was saying? This made him feel so alive. He was good at getting the other guys to do what he wanted to do, but he felt so against them and so betrayed at the time.
I have created my troops. "I will continue to do my duty." He put his arms in the air. "Come to me, if you are with me!"
All cats came running toward the fat boy, and started their affectionate bonding toward him. Cartman started his evil laugh, as if he were taking over the world.