~Tris~
Today with Ashton was great, after it was settled that Tobias and I would look after Holden tonight, Ashton woke up and wanted to go on some slides. He still hadn't eaten. Ashton and Tobias must have been on the slides with Josh and Harper for at least an hour after some serious persuasion took place. Ashton begged and begged to go on the slides with me, I was about to cave then Shauna pointed out that I really shouldn't because of the babies. Saying no risked a serious tantrum. However I pointed out that he would not go on any slides if he started to cry. At first Ashton and Harper went down the little kids' slides on their own with Tobias and Josh waiting for them at the bottom. Still when they started to get more confident I decided that Tobias should really be going down the slide with him. This perked Josh up to thinking that he should be going down the slide with Harper too and not letting her go down on her own.
Once Shauna had fed Holden, Zeke stole him away to look after him for a bit. They went and laid on the loungers next to where Lauren was laid. That's when I noticed it. The longing look in Laurens eyes. I followed he stair across the pool between her and Josh and Harper. This perked me up into suggesting that Lauren, Shauna and I all go and sit on the lazy river together. We needed to catch up on the gossip, unfortunately Christina had already left. The three of us grabbed a ring and went to one of the many entrances. It was reasonably amusing watching Shauna trying to get into the ring. After some time Lauren got back out of her ring to help Shauna to get in hers. It's understandable, she's only just gave birth about a week ago. Im surprised she is even up to coming out the apartment.
I can't believe how unbelievably skinny Lauren is now. I don't mean it in an offensive way but before she got pregnant she was a size six. I remember quite vividly how large she got when she was carrying Harper. Harper was medically a very large baby, she was 9lbs and a couple of oz. Thinking about that does it mean I'm going to get even bigger than Lauren was. Now im only just filling out size 8 jeans. I just remember the doctor commenting on how large of a baby she was. However now Lauren is back to being skinny, two years later, she is a size 8. Which I pretty frickin' great. She has no stretch marks, no sagging or anything. If you looked at her you wouldn't even think that she has had a baby.
While on the river we had some juicy gossip but what we really needed was Christina to spice it up a bit. It just started off as a normal conversation about Holden. Shauna told us about how he stared deeply into the eyes of Zeke and it made Zeke cry. I never thought that Zeke Zolah Pedrad would cry about something like that. But then again I bet that when I have the twins I will be crying left right and centre with all the little things they do. I'd laugh at Tobias if he cried, it would be extremely sweet. Shauna said that Zeke has been documenting every single second from when Holden was born. I think that's quite cute to be totally honest, but then again Tobias is already documenting the bump. When I confess this to Lauren and Shauna they both give a slight chuckle then 'aww' for what felt like two whole minutes. They didn't think that Tobias was that kind of person.
To change the conversation topic I moved on to the whole Lauren staring a Josh thing. Plus I knew that Josh had been staring at Lauren from Tobias telling me at lunch. I was straight up with Lauren and I simply just asked what was happening between them. She tried to deny it at first, but Shauna joined in and eventually she caved. She confessed the whole thing. She told us about the kiss that both of them had shared, though nothing had happened since then. Shauna and I convinced her to go speak to him. When we reaches the slide area of the river which gave us the idea. I grabbed on the side of the river in order to stop me moving and Shauna and Lauren did the same. I asked Tobias to get Ashton and Harper and to come on the river with Shauna and I, so Josh and Lauren could have their moment.
Tobias walked over with Ashton on one hip and Harper on the other. Harper reached out for me so Tobias put her on my lap. Tobias then took the free inflatable ring and placed Ashton in it, his face light up with joy. Luckily these rings have bottoms. Tobias walked with the ring while gently, occasionally splashing Ashton. Harper looked so adorable in her dark purple frilly swimsuit. It was one of them with a built in skirt. Before long Harper had fell asleep on me. She was laid with her head buried into my neck; just like Ashton did earlier in the day. That's when I realised that though Ashton had, had a nap Harper hadn't so she must have been so tired. No wonder she crashed. Then on the river the gossip conversation ceased to exist. Understandably considering that Tobias and the children had joined us, it was a girl's chat, only for girls.
Overall I think today was great, it was just what I needed. When Tobias and I get home with a sleeping Ashton yet again we both collapse on the sofa again. Tobias stretches his legs down the sofa. I laid between Tobias and the back of the sofa while Ashton was on top of us.
Later on I'm woke by the shouts of a toddler wanting food. I notice I am now the only one on the sofa. Throughout the apartment I can smell cheese and ham toasties. No wonder Ashton is screeching for food, he hasn't ate all day. I peer down at my watch to realise that it's only an hour till dinner at 6pm, I reminded Tobias of this. He splits the cheese toasties into 3 one for each of us. He give me the largest piece then Ashton has the next largest. Tobias gracefully take the smallest, I offer him a trade but he refuses. In the end I don't finish my toasties, which now Tobias accepts but by the demands of Ashton he has to half the small amount that is left.
Ashton shouts from the Bar stool at the island in the kitchen, "Twis!"
"Yes Ashton?" I reply concurrently standing and walking into the kitchen when Tobias is washing the dishes and Ashton in colouring in. On the way back from the swimming complex Tobias and I dropped in to a shop in the Pit to get some things for Ashton. We realised we really didn't have anything for Ashton to do. We picked up some appropriate films and a colouring book for him, of course with crayons too.
His eyes don't lift from the colouring book, "Why you not a mummy?" Tobias turns round to look at my reaction.
"I will be soon, there in my tummy at the moment," I feel like we are about to have that awkward conversation with him, like he's going to say how… or something like that.
Still not lifting his eyes, "You eat them didn't you, cause my mum eaten my brother." Well that's a good way to find out your brother is having another baby boy. It's quite interesting to know that, that is what Erudite tell their children. I don't even know how to reply to him.
"Yeah I ate them!" I thought I might as well not change what he knows, if my brother has told him this way then he must have some reason for it… Tobias is trying to hold back a chuckle at my enthusiasm at is say is. Ashton continues to colour like the talk we just had never happened.
Tobias finishes washing the pots and then peers over Ashton's shoulder, "You're very good at drawing you are!" he says and he sounds so very sincere.
"Course I am" Tobias and I just simply chuckle. I can imagine this me and Tobias with two littles boys, or girls. I will be great, early mornings late nights, fun family trips, swimming and loads of other things, who wouldn't want that.
XXXXX
We sit at our usual table in the very large cafeteria, surrounded by the shouts and cheers of all the dauntless. The whole of our table is blabbering on about how the initiates have no idea that it is Capture the flag tonight. In my opinion it's one of the best parts of training the initiates. Unfortunately only four trainers get to go, there is five of us. Obviously im not going though, you know pregnant and all. I don't want to know what would happen if I got knocked over or something. Plus I've been told im not allowed to do any train jumping. There is a list of these 'Do's and Dont's' for when you are with child.
Back to Capture the Flag… Team one will consist of Eric as the team leader then Uriah as backup, team two will have Tobias as the team leader and Christina as backup. No offence to Tobias and Christina's team but I think Eric and Uriah's team will win tonight, I've just got a feeling. When the betting slip is placed in front of me I'm conflicted on whether I should bet against my future husband and father of my children. I decide to play risky I bet 10 points that Eric's team with win, luckily the trainers who are in the teams aren't allowed to make bets so they don't see the slip with everyone's bets on.
I hand the paper back to Zeke very cautiously. He looks at it then at me, he gives me that look of 'Are you sure you want to make this bet?' I knew he'd give me a funny look , and I hoped that he wouldn't tell everyone what bet I made, but then I realise its Zeke of course he would tell. "So guys, we had 100 points to 100 points bet on each team but then with Tris' final bet of ten points in favour of Eric's team he is now favoured to win." Everyone literally turns and looks at me all I can do is shrug my shoulders.
Eric who is sat at the end of the table burst out laughing, "Even you fucking fiancée bet against you!" I think he might not be completely sober.
I shout down the table, "There is no need for that language, there is young ears present." Meaning Ashton who is currently sat on my lap attempting to eat a chunk of cut up sausage. Eric gives his famous 'Sorry but not Sorry' look down the table. I'm so tempted to switch my bet, but I can't sadly. I don't see how Eric will win considering he is already drinking himself under the table. He is plastered.
I'm too caught up in thinking about Eric being drunk that I don't realise that Ashton is squishing his mash potatoes in his hands, "Oi! Kid! Its mash potatoes not playdoh!" Uriah shouts down the table. Ashton starts to giggle, it's one of them very infectious laughs, and everyone starts laughing with him. Until Uriah stand up and says, "Oh no he didn't." It takes everybody a while to click on to what has happened but then we see Uriah's face. It's covered in yellow slush…MASH POTATOES.
Now everyone, and I mean absolutely everyone, like the whole hall is laughing. Uriah was talking a lot louder than he thought. Well every person will remember this day.
Almost every person in the cafeteria had left before we had decided it was time to go home. It feels great to say home and really mean it, many people say home is where the heart is, and my heart is with Tobias. We have been there so long that the cleaners are actually starting to wipe the tables down. We walk back up to the apartment, my and Tobias' hands linked and little Ashton running ahead. Shauna and Zeke said that they'll head home and pack a bag for Holden, then meet us at our apartment.
XXXXX
It's getting close to 11pm, Holden is currently laid in my arms; fast asleep. Zeke and Shauna both dropped off Holden about an hour and a half ago. I was such a sad moment, you could really see that Shauna didn't want to let him go, but in the end she managed to. She brought over a bag with all the necessities in. She brought some baby formula; as she chose not to breastfeed. She brought a little put up cot that she said he'd be fine to sleep in too. Tobias and I hadn't thought about that we had nowhere for Holden or Ashton to sleep tonight. Now we have the cot for Holden but I guess Ashton will have to sleep with Tobias and me.
Just as Shauna and Zeke left, Ashton chose his first movie to watch with the help of Tobias. He chose Toy Story. Tobias has now gone upstairs to get changed ready for tonight; Capture the Flag. It feels strange not taking part, I have for the past five years and then this year, perhaps it's the start of something new. Once I have the twins I don't think I will want to carry on training the initiates. I wouldn't want to be leaving them for long periods of time. I know I would have to when I go back to work but that's different, I can have flexible hours. But training the initiates I would have to be there every hour. However when it does come back round to training initiates the twins will be like near 6 months, that's if they come on time.
Tobias comes back downstairs, walking straight into the kitchen shouting, "Do you want anything?"
I reply with a casual "no thanks."
However Ashton shouts, "CHOCOLATE! … Pwease." He adds on after I look at him. I'm surprised little sweet Holden didn't wake up, but im also surprised that Ashton hear what Tobias said. He seems to be so engrossed in the film. It must be finishing soon then he'll want another film in, we have Toy Story 2 and 3 so he will probably want to watch them too. Im conflicted he should really be going to bed though, it's already extremely late.
Tobias heads into the living room, he picks up Ashton and sits back down with him on his lap. In his hands I notice a bar of chocolate; my favourite chocolate. "You know what maybe I'll have one or two chunks."
Tobias gasps and looks at Ashton, "Oh my goodness, have you heard this? Tris wants some chocolate now!" His young face now looks very conflicted.
"She have one," I give a sly smirk to Tobias and he gives a sarcastic one back.
Tobias left at 11.30pm and Toy Story had finished a few minutes later but I could clearly see that Ashton was on the edge of falling asleep so I put the next film in, and let him curl up with me.
Holden asleep, Ashton about to fall asleep plus me on the sofa was great. Thinking about the future, and the possibilities. Thinking about what it will be like to be a mother. Thinking how wonderful my own mother was, I hope to be like my own mother, I've always looked up to her. The way she would always stay completely and utterly composed when I would have a tantrum or when Caleb would have a tantrum.