A/N: I AM SORRY.
LIKE, PLEASE, FORGIVE ME. I ACCIDENTALY DIDN'T UPDATE FOR LIKE, SIX MONTHS? AND IT HURTS ME?
BUt, like I said in previous chapters, I have been an anxious wreck for a really, really long time and I just stared to get better with handling my anxiety, so, um... Is that enough for an excuse? I mean, it IS my health, but still, not writing does make me feel bad as well.
So, *throws cookies* HERE, HAVE SOME PEACE OFFERING.
ALSO, SPECIAL THANKS TO:Janewatson99, ladybug02, Hearts Tempo, Howling2themoon, BarricadesDemon216, Lady-Stesonora, , Seni Prodi, Edges05 AND Guest.
I LOVE YOU ALL AND YOUR COMMENTS MAKE ME REALLY HAPPY AND WITHOUT THEM, THIS CHAPTER WOULDN'T HAPPEN? ALSO, IF ANYONE JUST, like would like to chat or anything, I'm all for it. You can even tell me random parts of your day and I will still enjoy that, so PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DO SO.
13. For all those unhappy ones.
Ashley Knights, wasn't a snobby, little rich girl everyone thought she was. Okay, maybe she was rich, but that wasn't the point. The point was, that Ashley, being the Daddy's Girl, had some reputation to uphold. Why? Because one: she had to let everyone know that her family is above others. Two: she was to make sure no one questions her family's name. Three: the more people stuck to her at school, the better her home life was.
Because Ashley Knights, existed only to serve her family.
Her face was recognized by others on the street; boys cat-called her. Teachers acted nice to make sure she wouldn't tell on them to her parents. People were constantly tip-toeing around her.
She acted as a spoiled child, who has too much money, because that was what her family expected of her.
'Bridgette Evans,' said her mother to Ashley when she turned four. 'From this day on, you will act as her friend and make sure you're on good terms with her, understood?'
Turning four for Ashley that day, wasn't a big event.
To young Bridgette however, that day was something that sealed her fate. It meant she had to learn how to speak with people like Ashley – people wealthy and people who have high statuses in society. It meant, that Bridgette had to stop being herself and start being Bridgette Evans, the girl from high standing family.
Ashley, only years later, realized that simple truth. Bridgette Evans was just a prisoner in her own house. She couldn't even live the way she wanted. She just spoke, moved and acted how her parents told her to.
That was exactly why, when Ashley realized that Bridgette tried to somehow break out of it, she tried the same thing.
The first time she rebelled against them, Ashley had to stay at home for weeks because of the bruises on her ribs.
The second time she tried, her hair was cut.
The third time, Ashley Knight lost her will to fight.
'Do you understand what you have done wrong, Ashley?' her mom asked, stroking her hair.
Ashley looked in the mirror to meet her mother's eyes.
'Yes, mom'.
Her salvation or rather, a turning point, came in a form of a giant, falling star in a middle of her backyard when her parents were pout of the town. It created a big crater that she was sure there was no way of hiding away and destroyed her father's favorite flowers.
The pod – because it turned out to be one – opened. It hissed and created another cloud of dust that made it hard to see what was inside. Ashley was about to scream and run back inside the house, when the dust cleared.
There stood a robot. A machine. A big, big machine painted silver, with two blue lights blinking at her in the dark. It crouched in front of her, tilted its head and Ashley shuddered at that.
It appeared to speak and it that moment, she snapped back in reality.
"I, I don't understand," she forced out, but didn't move; couldn't move, just stared at the robot. "I don't speak that language. Try English."
Did it understand her?
Was she stuttering too much?
Was it just going to kill her? Because if it did, she wouldn't mind. Ashley caught herself thinking that whatever happened, she didn't really care. There was literally nothing that could make her say 'I want to live'.
The robot blinked. Or, Ashley thought it blinked. Then blinked more and more and finally, the flickering lights dimmed a bit for about a second or two, and then a metal face seemed to smile up at her. Or maybe smirk. She wasn't sure.
"My, my name is Ashley. Ashley Knights," she found herself saying.
She didn't really expect the robot to answer her, but when it did, Ashley almost let out a breath of relief.
"Flareup," it said, and this time, yes, Ashley was sure – the robot was grinning. "I specialize in blowing things up, but I hope we get along anyways,"
Blowing things up…
Ashley blinked.
"Yeah," she said numbly. "I don't want to get blown up, so yeah. Yeah, I'd like to get along," which wasn't the smartest thing to say, but nonetheless it worked, so Ashley high-fived herself and then, proceeded to pass out.
"Flareup, no. You can't blow it up. It's important to me,"
"It's school. Internet said that young people want it destroyed,"
"That doesn't mean you should do it,"
"Why, I would do them a favor,"
"…Flareup, please put that weapon down,"
'Hello, Ashley. I will be unavailable for the time unknown, but please do not worry if I don't answer.' Said the text from Bridgette Evans as Ashley put down her things and changed into more comfortable clothes.
She snorted.
"Trust Bridgette to text like my mom," she muttered, typing in her response. "Really, you could've just told me that you're with robots,"
'Understood. Call me if you need help.'
I'm 100% sure that right now, Bridgette is wondering why I replied in that manner and if I know that something is up, Ashley thinks.
But Ashley wouldn't tell her that. She'd take extra notes and keep it safe in case Bridgette needed help; she'd make sure people in school don't talk too much about her absence; she would pretend to brag about how her friend is now on a really important business trip.
Ashley decided, I will keep her secret as long as I can, because that was the least she could do. Because it made it seem as if Ashley's help was needed to Bridgette. It made her feel like she had purpose in existing. Like she needed to live.
Flareup once mentioned that to her.
"You're just lying to yourself, Squishy,"
Knights only giggled in a way her mom taught her to – it annoyed people and made them want to stop talking. "Why, of course. But you forget that liars live longer,"
Yes, that's right. They live longer, because they keep pretending they're fine, when it truth, the only thing they really want to do is lay down on the ground and never wake up. They escape the clutches of fate by cheating their way through.
Ashley had to live.
To make sure her family is well off; to keep gossip from spreading out; to keep trouble from happening. That's what she was there for. To serve her family.
Ashley had to live. But that never meant she wanted to.
"Where are we?" Sunny whined from her place in a backseats of the car they were in. "We've been driving for hours and I'm hungry,"
Barricade who sat in his human form only scoffed at her and kept his gaze on the road in front of him. Bridgette glanced at him. "We have been driving for quite a while," she points out carefully. "I'm hungry as well,"
This time, Barricade looks at her. Not glances, but looks and it seems like he sees something he hasn't seen before and it makes Bridgette blink. But as soon as it appears, it fades away in a familiar scowl. "You will survive," he says, but she catches him looking for the nearest gas station with his eyes.
Bridgette turns to look at Sunny, and finds her already gazing at her in wonder.
"What?" She asked flatly.
Sunny grins. "It's a secret~" she answers and leans more on her seat. "But you know, Bridgie, you really are charismatic. It's almost annoying, ya know?"
Evans already used to Sunny saying weird things that makes no sense to her, only blinks at her and turns away. "I see," she says slowly.
Sunny keeps on grinning, but decides to torment someone else for a change and moves to lean on Barricade's seat instead. "Say, Cade, are you really that tough or are you just acting?"
Barricade didn't even blink. "Do you want to die?"
Trust Sunny to laugh at the apparent death threat. "No, not really," she admitted. "Also, Cade, did you know that people who are acting tough, are actually hurting inside?"
"It's Barricade, not Cade, and I don't care what kind of existential crisis you have, so shut the frag up," he hisses and his eyes flash pure red, before they calm down and return to crimson. He turns and smacks the back of her head. "And sit down. I don't want humans on my tail, Fleshy,"
Sunny pouts, but does as asked and crosses her arms. "Meanie,"
Barricade rolls his eyes.
Bridgette only let out a sigh and straightened her posture. She itched to do something. To study, to make business calls, the things she was used to after running the company for her parents. She couldn't do it now and it drove her crazy.
And the name 'Jackson'. Was it possible she knew a man like that? Maybe someone from before what happened to her… brother. Maybe she knew him, but it reminded her of her brother so much, she repressed the memory.
Bridgette did a lot of things. Repressing a memory wouldn't be that surprising.
"Oh, Oh, Cade, stop there, they have burgers!" Sunny suddenly exclaimed, jumping up in excitement. "Man, I love burgers."
Bridgette snaps her attention to her. "Burgers aren't healthy,"
"Neither is studying, but look, that's what we do for over twelve years," she remarks and almost shouts in Barricade's ears her next words, "So please, please, stop here and I will stop bothering you for…let's say, two hours, yeah?"
Barricade narrows his eyes, but drove down the street that led to 'Donny's house'. "What a deal, indeed," he deadpans.
Sunny, however, didn't mind the comment and her eyes shone with hunger. Bridgette lurched back at her expression with mild horror in her own eyes. She knew that no one should ever get in between Sunny and her food, unless they had a death wish.
Barricade glanced at her, questioningly. But as Evans looked at him, he turned away as if it never happened.
Bridgette didn't say a word.
"Ashley,"
Her mother's voice cut through her daze as she stared out the window of their car.
"Yes?"
"Bridgette's parents called me," she started and Ashley fought hard to keep herself from reacting at her words. "She's gone missing. Do you know why?"
Because her parents are a couple of assholes?, Ashley thinks, but pretends to consider her Mother's question.
"No, I don't," she finally says, bringing out her phone to make sure she deleted texts from the said girl and shows her Mother the empty inbox. "She didn't even text me, can you believe that? And she dares to call herself my friend," she snorts in disbelief, secretly glancing at older woman reaction.
She nods. "Indeed, that was awful of her," she sighs. "I hope they find her soon. I'd hate if it something happened to her,"
Ashley looks at her, deadpan.
"I hope so, too," she says anyways, but she knows. Ashley knows that her Mother is only waiting for a chance to raise to the top. It's been six years, maybe more, and she still waits for the moment when Evans Company crumbles and her own will make it to the top and stop being the second in the ranking.
She won't admit that to Ashley, though, but that doesn't make it any less true.
"Ah, I almost forgot," her mother suddenly spoke. "I heard your grades have dropped lately. Is something wrong?"
Ashley smiles, wide and forced and chuckles. "No, no, of course not. I had a bad day. I've already explained that to Mr. Hadley and I will retake that quiz."
Her Mother hums. "Is that so? Well, I hope you aren't doing this on purpose,"
I wouldn't dare. I'm not Bridgette. I'm not as strong or as brave.
"I would never, Mother. It's been a rough week, but I will correct my mistakes," she promises and ignores the pang in her chest, ignores the way her hands started to shake and smiles. Smiles because that's the only thing she's really good at. Smiling and faking.
"Mhm, yes, of course you will," she agreed. "Or else you know what will happen,"
Ashley is half tempted to say that, yes, she knows, because they have made sure she knew what would happen if she tries to live her own life.
"Yes, Mother," she doesn't blink, doesn't drop her smile.
It's tight in that little space that she has for herself, but she knows it's the only thing that's hers. She will quietly let them think they have control over her; she will make them consider her an ally and when they least expect it, she will run.
She will, one day. Because she wants to be free.
But today, is unfortunately not that day.
It was only a flash of a memory, but suddenly, Barricade was able to put the pieces together. Sunny, the female friend of Bridgette, was surprisingly the key to all that. Well, she and her loud mouth. It was the first time Barricade was glad for that.
A car and an accident. A scream, a whimper. It was all forgotten because he didn't want to remember. Not because it was painful, not because he cared. That memory, was just too damn pathetic and Barricade hated pathetic things like humans, animals or Autobots.
But the most pathetic thing he ever saw, was a human who believed he could save the world and protect it from the Decepticons.
"Ah, I wasn't able to eat a burger like that in ages," Sunny moaned around her food and sent a grin to Bridgette. "Right, Bridgie? Oh, weren't burgers your brother's favorite-" she snapped her hand on her mouth and froze.
Barricade looked up from his device and blinked. "What made you shut up?"
But Sunny was looking at Bridgette, who only stared at the dish in front of her and didn't say a word. "Bridgette, I'm so, so sorry, I didn't mean to say that,"
"It's fine,"
"Bridgie, I swear…"
"I said, it's fine," she interrupted, staring blankly at the glass of water she picked up, "It is fine, Sunny, please continue eating,"
And that she did, but she never spoke up again or ramble about her family. She just ate, and kept shooting awkward glances at Bridgette and honestly, it was more annoying that listening to her talk. But it was that moment, that made Barricade stop and think.
Bridgette reminded him of someone.
Someone he knew, but didn't know who exactly.
Now, it was all clear. He didn't pay attention to it at first, writing it off as a common thing to exist and that was his first mistake. The second was taking in that little human, named Bridgette, that day when it rained.
Because Barricade hated humans who thought they could do something about the unfairness of the world.
And he hated one human especially.
A person named Nathan Evans.
The shock must have showed on his face, because Sunny uncertainly tapped his shoulder and blinked up at him. "Are you okay?" she asked carefully as Bridgette shifted her eyes to him, arching an eyebrow. It was a rare expression on her, and Barricade would gladly dwell on that if it wasn't for a fact that he was experiencing a little life crisis.
"You have a brother?" he blurted out, more like a question and Bridgette didn't even flinch, didn't react in any way that he expected her to. She just stared flatly at him.
"He died in an accident," she answered coldly.
Sunny averted her gaze and focused on her food. It was obvious that Barricade wasn't just curious, but both of them ignored that.
Barricade blinked.
"A car accident," he said without thinking, guessed, but if he'd said that it was just a lucky guess, he'd be lying.
Bridgette twitched. "Yes," then she looked at him, narrowing her eyes. "How did you know that?"
He didn't answer. There was a little mess in his head at the moment, everything was connecting itself and soon, he was presented a picture of both Nathan and Bridgette and how could he not see it earlier?
They had the same eyes. The same eyes that were cold and unforgiving and yet, they made you think you could trust them.
The same ones he failed to save, because that human – Nathan Evans – was stupid enough to throw himself in a fight he wasn't prepared to win.
"A guess," he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding in the entire time. "A damn, lucky guess, Squishy," and yet, he knew that Bridgette didn't believe in his lies, just like Nathan wouldn't. She saw through his bullshit and Barricade hated both of them for that.
And yet, she didn't call him out on it.
Just like he didn't do it.
And maybe, just maybe, if Nathan did, back then, maybe then, he would be still alive.
"I see," Bridgette stared at him, pierced through his spark more like it and dropped her gaze to her plate after he looked away. "A lucky guess," she mumbled to herself.
Sunny only swallowed.
"So…," Sunny begun, making herself comfortable on her seat in the car. "The whole plan is to run away?"
Barricade made a noise, torn between snapping at her and focusing on the road. "Yes, Squishy, we've been over it," he glanced at her with irritated look. "Unless, such a simple information is too hard for you to handle."
Sunny ignored the venom in his words and shrugged. "I mean, it seems a little too easy to me," she admitted, tapping her fingers on the leather of the seats. "And a little not in your style. You were working with that Screamer guy, right? You know how he works. If we join up with Autobots, though, we can-"
"Just because I defected from the Decepticon cause, doesn't mean I will be joining those scum," he hissed, turning around slightly to glare at her with his now red eyes, "And don't think that they will welcome me with open arms, like some old friend. They hate me and the feeling is mutual."
"Ah," Bridgette suddenly lifted her head, shifting to look at Barricade. "I get what Sunny wants to say,"
Sunny grinned, then sobered just enough to make Barricade consider her explanation, because that girl, was rarely serious. "I don't like the idea of putting my friend in danger, but if we, for some reason, join the Autobots, it would only be an advantage to us,"
"How is me being locked up or killed an advantage?!" he asked ridiculously
"Hear me out, Cade," she kicked him in the side making him growl, "And stop being such a baby. You won't immediately die,"
"Oh, but you admit that I will, on a later date," he points out angrily.
"Well, no. If what I think is accurate, there's a fifty percent chance of survival for you," Bridgette almost shoot Barricade a sympathetic look when he cringed. "That's when we come in. If Autobots are what they say they are, they won't kill you if you hold someone hostage,"
"Now, why the frag would I do that?!" Barricade asks indignantly
"Because it will make it impossible to kill you, idiot," she rolled her eyes. "They won't hurt you if you have humans with you, simple as that. Or else they will be breaking the promise made to government and then, it's a 'sayonara' for them,"
Bridgette nodded along, agreeing. "I haven't thought about that, but that could work,"
Barricade made a face. "I never agreed to that," he reminded. "I'm keeping you from danger and joining Autobots will only bring all three of us trouble. The opposite of what I want to achieve,"
"Aww, Cade cares," Sunny cooed, before she gave him a smirk. "But we ain't asking you for your opinion. We know Screamer's after Bridgie. We know someone else is also after her. If we keep running in circles, someone is gonna find us and then we will be in trouble,"
Barricade snorted, shaking his head.
Bridgette stared at him for a while, before she sighed and leaned on her headrest. "Barricade is right, Sunny. We cannot endanger him like that,"
"See? Squishy knows what she's talking about," he added in, focusing back at the road.
Sunny's smirk fell and she almost pouted. "But Bridgette, I know something bad is going to happen if we don't hurry up,"
"Whatever happens, happens," she decided, clenching her fingers on her t-shirt. "Barricade is already helping us escape, expecting anything more from him can only result in us being either killed or harmed."
Sunny gritted her teeth. "How can you act so calm about the whole thing?"
Bridgette avoided looking her in the eye and stared out the window. "I am an Evans, after all," she reminded. "I am used to being a center of attention since I was a child."
"Someone's after you!"
"Sunny…"
"You're allowed to feel upset or, or scared, or even terrified, Bridgette. You're not a robot, you too, have feelings. Do you think any of us is gonna think less of you if you show that you fear for your life?"
Bridgette barely had the time to register her words, when it hit her like a ton of bricks and she widened her eyes.
'You're allowed to have feelings!'
Sunny, the girl who always does the same thing, is telling her that she's allowed to feel. And it wouldn't be such a big thing, if it weren't for a fact that Bridgette, never, ever felt like she had the right to do that.
Never had a chance to think like that.
Her look soon softened and Bridgette let out another sigh.
"I never said I'm not scared, Sunny," she told her gently.
Sunny's eyes were glassy when she looked away and crossed her arms.
"Yeah, whatever," she sniffs, because apparently something in Bridgette's eyes made her cry again. "Sure,"
"Are you seriously crying over that?" Barricade asked exasperated.
"Shut up, you unfeeling asshole! Some people actually have feelings and use their hearts. You should try it sometime, too, you know!" she shouts in her defense and the rest of the ride passed quietly.
Bridgette halfway through to their next stop realized that it was the first time she admitted she was scared, out loud.
When it sunk in, Bridgette honestly felt like crying too.