Me: So close...So close to being done...

Fang: With your epical update, you mean?

Me: -nods- I only have three chapters left to write, and then...Epic update...

Fang: Technically, four chapters. And...The reason you're doing the epical update...

Me: Oh, yes, but save that for the end.

Fang: Gotcha.

Fang's POV

I couldn't believe the amount of vehicles that Saint had acquired. I mean, as far as I knew, the girl didn't even have her license yet! What was she doing with so many vehicles? When did she ever have time to take these things out, anyway? Well, judging from the skid marks on the ground, she must've been racing them around at some point.

Besides her trusty old Saab, I ran into the Flintstone's car, a collection of hoverboards, a Silver Volvo, a fleet of boats from Lothlorien, a raft, some brooms, a dragon, a stable full of horses, a train, The Mystery Machine, hovercars, a powder blue buick, a couple cop cars, a taxi cab, a golden chariot, a couple motorcycles, and so much more. But, though it took some searching, I finally found what I was looking for.

A DeLorean DMC-12. Better known as a time machine.

I hopped into the car, thankful to find the keys sitting in the ignition. I guess Saint figured the chances of someone daring to steal from her were slim. Well, so much for that theory.

I pulled the car out so it was in the aisle in between all the parking spaces. I was going to need a lot of room to get this baby to 88 mph.

I set the time machine to this same time about two days ago, when Ebony first came.

I took a deep breath and sighed, flexing my hands on the steering wheel. My driving with normal cars was less than stellar, who knows what I'd do with a time machine. But my choices were pretty limited right now. I had to stop this madness, and fast.

I took another breath, gritted my teeth, and floored the gas pedal.

The car was suddenly going so fast that everything was blurred. The next thing I knew, the wall at the other side of the garage was coming up, and coming up fast. I slammed on the breaks, causing the car to squeal to a halt right before hitting the wall.

I hit the wheel with my fist in frustration. Well, that did a whole lot. Almost got me killed. Stupid 'time machine'.

I backed the car up and was surprised to see only the skid marks I had seen earlier. I would've thought that my stop would've made some new ones.

I slowly backed the car back up to its parking space, and started to back it back in, but something was in its way.

A DeLorean DMC-12.

Wait...

I got out and compared both cars. They were exactly the same. I walked down and inspected the tire marks. They were fresh. I had made the skid marks I had seen earlier.

I was in the past.

I fought down the urge to do a victory dance. Not only would that have been totally out of character for me, I didn't have the time. I needed to stop Ebony.

And I knew just the person to get to help me.

I raced to the cafeteria, taking out a couple old ladies and a dwarf on my way. I'd worry about them later, I had bigger fish to fry.

1:15. I was right on time to run into the one person I knew I could get to help me, just as he was coming out of the cafeteria. Before he could say anything or anyone could come out and see us, I grabbed him and dragged him into an empty room.

"What the Hell?" He asked. "Who the heck are- Holy crap." He said, looking at me. "Please don't tell me Saint's cloning me now."

I cringed at the thought. Sounded just like something I would say. Well, obviously, since I just said it. "No, I'm not a clone. You know the time machine Saint keeps downstairs?"

"The DeLorean?" Past-Fang asked. "Wait, you're from the future, aren't you?"

I nodded. "Just two days in the future, but they're two very eventful days. And I'm here to make them become uneventful."

"What do we need to do?" I asked myself. Ok, that's just weird.

"Well, there's a new patient who's supposed to come in." I explained. "Ebony D'arkness Dementia Raven Way."

I made a weirded-out face. "Who names their kid 'Dementia'?"

I shrugged. "No clue. It's not the point, anyway. The point is, we need to stop her from coming in."

"Why is that?" I asked myself. I decided to never make fun of someone for talking to themselves again.

"Let's just say, she screws things up, and she screws them up bad." I explained vaguely. "Would I be here if it wasn't bad?"

"If you want to get technical, yes, you would be here."

I rolled my eyes. "You know what I mean."

"So, where do we find this 'Eboby Darkened Demented Raver Wade' person?"

I repressed a facepalm. Was I really that stupid? Or maybe I had a hearing problem? I'd have it checked out later. I motioned for Past-Me to follow myself. "Come on."

After making a short pit stop, we made our way to Section 1 of the building. That was where new patients were evaluated and admitted. Ebony would have to come through these doors to make it into the center.

We searched through all the new patients currently in the section and made sure that Ebony hadn't already made it through and been admitted. Then, we hunkered down outside the doors and waited.

"You sure this is when she'll come through?" Past Me asked.

I nodded. "It has to be."

"Hey." Past Me said. "Don't you think people will stare at us if we sit out here together?"

I shrugged. "They've seen weirder."

Other me shrugged back. "Good point."

Suddenly, a gust of wind picked up, and out of it spun a girl flying down on a broom. Her black hair whipped sexily...No, not using that word again. Alluringly around her face. (Isn't that a better word? Really gives it a more poetic feel. Damn, I feel smart.) As she landed, her clothes jingled with the sounds of chains and her short skirt was almost swept up high enough to leave nothing left to my imagination. She turned, brushing her hair out of her face and made eye contact with us.

We both stood. "Ebony D'arkness Dementia Raven Way, I presume." I said.

She nodded. "And you are?"

"Border patrol." I said. "We protect the borders between what is good and what is bad. You need to go back to the bad end, girl."

She glared and pulled out her wand. "I'm not going to be stopped by a couple of preppy posers!"

I smiled and pulled out the weapon we had grabbed during our pit stop that you may have noticed was mentioned above. A wand. I 'borrowed' it from Saint's weapons stash. The label on it said 'The Elder Wand'. Whatever. It looked pretty powerful, plus, I had to fight off Harry Potter for it, who had just been going to get it, for some reason. All I knew was that it was a good wand, and I needed a good wand, even if I wasn't sure how to use it.

"Ebony, I'm giving you one chance to surrender and return to My Immortal." I said. "I don't want to have to use force." Ok, so I wanted to use force, but I knew that probably wasn't a good idea. I was supposed to be all chivalrous and such.

"You can't make me!" she screeched. She pointed her wand at me. "Expelliarmus!"

I yelled out, "Stupefy!" at the same time, being one of the few spells I actually knew, and pointed my wand at her. The two spells collided in the air in a flash of red and green, neither doing damage to either of us.

She stomped her foot in frustration. "Poser!"

I raised my wand again, trying to remember another spell.

"What about that body-binding spell thing?" The other me said.

Thank God Past Me had a better memory. "Petrificus Totalus!"

But Ebony was on to me. "Protego!"

A shield jumped up around her, sending my spell rebounding back at us.

"Duck!" Past Me yelled, dragging me down.

The spell flew over us and ended up hitting a passing pidgeon, who flopped to the ground, paralyzed.

"Damn..." Other Me said.

"Agreed." I replied, standing back up with him.

Ebony was glaring at us. "You'll pay. I bet you're with Voldermott!"

Oh, come on! I facepalmed. "It's Voldemort, genius! Voldemort! Get it through your thick, illiterate head!"

At that point, she dropped her wand, pulling out a gun instead. Smith and Wesson. Wow, when did I learn gun brands? I've been reading Saint's bounty hunter books too much.

"How about I put this bullet through your head?" She asked, aiming the gun at me.

I raised my wand back at her, grinning. "You feeling lucky, punk?" Oh, that sounded badass. Awesome.

She shot the gun off, just as I used one of the other few spells that I knew.

"Reducto!" I yelled, pointing the wand at the bullet. The bullet exploded in midair, sending pieces of shrapnel all over. "Protego!" Was the next thing I yelled, putting a shield around Past Me and I so we wouldn't get hit. Then, "Petrificus Totalus!" Had Ebony in a full body-bind in seconds.

"Awesome, errr...Other Me!" Past Me said, clapping me on the shoulder. "How'd you know how to do that?"

I stood there, still frozen in place with my arm holding my wand in the air. "I have no idea..."

"Well, now what?" Past Me asked.

"I'm going to send Ebony back from whence she came." I said. "You need to go inside and come up with some explanation as to what when on out here, since I'm sure we've gotten someone's attention by now. Then, I'm heading back to the future, so to speak. Make sure no one heads down to the parking garage. I'm going to need the space."

"So, this is...Goodbye?" Past Me asked.

I smiled and waved. "Hey, I'll see ya in the mirror." Then I turned and ran toward Ebony. I was bad enough at all the goodbye crap as it was, forget saying goodbye to myself. I grabbed Ebony and dragged her into an alley along with her broom. She was glaring at me, but unable to say a word, thank God. I looked around the alley until I found an old shoe. I held my wand to it.

"Portus." I said, and the shoe glowed blue. I'd succeeded in making a Portkey. Go me!

I stuck the Portkey in Ebony's right hand and her broom in her left. I also stuck her wand back in her pocket. I took the gun, though. No way was she going to be running around with that thing.

I'll see ya later...Not." I said as she disappeared

I walked out of the alley and looked toward the sky. It looked like we were about to get a tornado or something. There were black clouds swirling above the center.

The entrance to the realm of My Immortal.

I raised my wand at the sky, then realized I didn't know a spell for Evil Portal Closing.

I had a WWSD moment. What Would Saint Do?

She'd try everything.

I waved my wand at the sky. "Abra Kadabra! Alakazam! Hotpocket!"

Nothing. Great...

"This stupid portal's in my way.

The swirling clouds don't make my day.

I'll only be happy when I see a sun's ray,

So make this portal go away!"

Lightening flashed, but the portal still stood.

Well, there was still one technique I hadn't tried.

I sighed, then raised my arms in the air again, pointing the wand at the clouds.

"BEGONE, SATAN!"

Thunder rolled, and the swirling clouds changed direction, becoming smaller and smaller as they spun, until there wasn't a cloud left in the sky. The sun broke through, lighting up the parking lot around me.

I only had a couple seconds to stand there in shock. Quickly, I stuffed my wand in my pocket and raced for the parking garage, towards the DeLorean. I needed to see how the future had turned out.

Unfortunately, I forget to return the wand.

Me: I think I got a whole 'full circle' feel going here. Fang uses all my techniques, he gets a wand...

Past Fang: I agree.

Future Fang: Very well done.

Me: ...Have you guys been playing with the DeLorean again?

The Fangs: No...

Me: -eyeroll- Sure...

Future Fang: So, I think we should introduce the contest.

Past Fang: What contest?

Future Fang: The one you don't know about yet.

Me: So...

I'M HOLDING A CONTEST, PEOPLE!

Future Fang: The Saint's Sequels Contest.

Me: Details about it are in a forum bearing the contest's name and in the newest chapter of the Poetry Corner!

Future Fang: Check it out!

Past Fang: ...I'm confused...

Future Fang: -facepalm-

R&R&To the contest!