So sorry it took so long to put this up. I've been away and I had no idea what to do with this chapter. Just to warn you guys, there is a mention of suicide later on in this chapter. Enjoy and don't forget to review!

Hermione

Ginny had decided that we would be out all day. She probably thought it would keep me sober for most of the day. The opposite of what I wanted. We were going to a spa. They'd probably have some kind of champagne or wine that I could drink. Something of low alcohol concentration. It would please Ginny, and Ron, a little. I wouldn't be drinking a lot of alcohol, but I would need quite a few glasses of whatever they were serving to get to my optimal position. I didn't promise anyone anything, anyway. There was no need to hold back. I wasn't a sloppy drunk, so there was no need to worry about me being embarrassing. All I wanted was to have my mind off things, and if we were sitting in 'relaxing' silence, I'd probably end up thinking about…

They did have champagne, and I, of course, got myself a glass. If Ginny wanted me to relax, this would be what worked. Not taking away my drinks and forcing me to do things that I'd rather not even be doing. It was almost a rebellion, but I wasn't under the control of anyone but myself, and I never once said I wasn't allowed to drink. Only people who thought they were in control.

We were lead to a locker room that was very posh. The lockers were a sandy color, and plastic. The floors were stone tile and the walls matched the color of the lockers. We were instructed to undress and put on the fluffy robes and sandals. Once we had completely undressed and dressed in the robes and sandals, we left the room. Next we were lead to some kind of massaging chair and the foot tub for pedicures. It was clear that we would be here for a while.

Once we were settled, the women began to pamper us. We were given mud masks and cucumbers for our eyes while the women gave us manicures and pedicures. It felt amazing to be so relaxed. And Ginny didn't once mention getting over my habit. It was amazing.

"Great, huh?" Ginny asked, sounding half asleep.

"Mmhmm…" I hummed in response, feeling so relaxed I didn't even want to talk.

I could hear Ginny laugh softly in response. I smiled at the laugh. As I heard it, I realized I truly hadn't heard a real laugh for so long… I wasn't even sure if Ginny's was pure happiness, but to just hear her laugh was amazing. That's when I really relaxed. I just relaxed into the chair and let it massage all my kinks out and let the women pamper me. If only this was how Ron was to me.

Once our nails were dried, we were taken into a darker room. The air was cool. We sat on lush lounging chairs and waited for our names to be called. We were to get massages next. Hopefully I had a hunk of a man. That would be lovely. Ron was a handsome man, but he wasn't the most fit. I do love my husband, but what's wrong with looking?

After a few minutes of us just lying in silence, we were called back to get our massages. The rooms where we'd be getting the massage were much warmer, and the clothed tables were heated as well. I was right in my prediction. I did get a very attractive man as a masseuse. He could've been a model if he hadn't chosen this profession.

The massage was beyond relaxing. I almost fell asleep during it, but I willed myself to stay awake to enjoy the sensation. After that, I truly did enjoy our day. Once we had finished at the spa we went shopping. It was weird, to be out and getting new clothes. I had been so used to staying home and the only new things I bought was a bottle of liquor every week, sometimes twice a week. Of course we had a few stray bottles around. The ones we'd never touched. The really expensive ones. We never thought we'd drink them. They were just around for show, but one day I didn't feel like leaving so I opened them. Ron was less than happy with me. I knew Ron wouldn't be so happy when he found out that I'd spent a lot of money. We still lived on his salary, which we managed to stretch, but I did buy him something nice as well.

When I returned home, Ron wasn't there, so I put my new stuff away and poured myself a drink. It'd been a few hours since my last one, so I was grateful to have this one. And that's how I spent the rest of my day, even when Ron came home and was upset with me for drinking so much.

"I didn't have the much," I defended, though my senses were a little dulled from all the alcohol.

"Hermione, you need to cut back. Maybe go see someone," he suggested, but I just shook my head and sipped my drink again. I didn't need help.

He came toward me and tried to take the glass from my hand, but instead ended up spilling the whiskey everywhere. I took the empty glass from him and went back to the kitchen. I grabbed a few towels and came back to the living room to start cleaning the spill. I shouldn't have been doing it. Ron was the one who caused the spill, but I was sure he wouldn't've helped. He would've said I shouldn't've struggled and should've just given him the glass.

It didn't bother me, though. He left me alone to go shower after work. That's when I poured myself another glass of whiskey and sat back on the couch to sip my drink. For a while I was left to my own thoughts. Thinking of what had gone on over the past several months. And what triggered me to be the way I was. Ron came down later, freshly showered.

"I'm making dinner," he told me and I heard his footsteps go into the kitchen.

I laid back on the couch, resting the glass on my chest. Ron was probably the only reason I ate. If he wasn't there to make food, I probably would've stopped eating all together. I did love my husband. He went out of his way to make sure I took care of myself when he could've easily left me. There were times when I could tell he didn't want to be around me, or deal with my shit, but he just stuck around. That's what was so great about my husband. He took such good care of me. He did his best to improve his cooking skills. He wasn't the best, but the man tried, and I loved him for that. He also quickly learned that he wouldn't be getting anymore of my home cooked meals and that he would have to step in with the cooking.

He didn't trust me with sharp knives, either. I could easily cut myself. I'd thought about it. Once or twice, or maybe twenty times, or maybe even more. I'd lost count. In other words, I didn't trust myself with a sharp knife. One stray thought and Ron would come home from work to me on the floor. Neither of us wanted that to happen. So it was a mutual understanding that Ron would do the cooking and when I was home, I would make a sandwich or something that requires little prep.

Dinner was soon finished being cooked, then eaten in silence before the two of us went our ways for the night. Ron went to his study to work. I stayed in the living room, having my two nightly drinks before bed. When I got to the room, Ron was getting ready for bed.

"Honey?" I said softly, walking over to the bed.

"What?" He asked, not turning to look at me.

"How long has it been since we've been together?" I asked, leaning back on my hands, biting my lip nervously.

That's what got his attention. He sat down the shirt he was about to put on, turning to face me. "What?" he asked in a sharper tone.

"I miss you," I admitted. It had been a while, and he rarely ever held me at night anymore. He just shook his head and pulled on his shirt before going to sit on his side of the bed. "Will you at least hold me?"

"You smell, Hermione. You always smell like alcohol. No matter what. I can't stand it." He laid down, his back to me. "I could never sleep with you when you're like this."

I frowned and slowly stood from the bed. "Do you still love me, Ron?"

"I don't know anymore, Hermione," he mumbled, sounding very pissed off.

"I love you," I whispered before leaving the room. His words stung. I couldn't believe that he'd said that. The thought of leaving crossed my mind, but I didn't know if I could've survived without Ron. He was the only person there to support me, but he wasn't even sure about it anymore. What was stopping him from leaving now?

I'd stay in the guest room, then. After getting myself off a few times and a few tears, I was able to drift off to sleep. Though his words haunted me as I fell asleep. I don't know anymore…