Chapter 14: Good Enough

Rated M due to language, violence and/or adult subject matter.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans, Evanescence or these lyrics.

"Shouldn't let you … completely / … feel good" – Good Enough, Evanescence

In the hotel room, Rachel tried to fall asleep but she couldn't seem to get comfortable. She kept tossing and turning. Glancing over at the nightstand, she noticed an hour had passed. She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. Images of her mom flooded her mind. She flopped her arms down on the bed in frustration.

Jason looked up and mumbled sleepily, "What's wrong?"

She ran her hands through her hair. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you. I can't sleep. I can't get it out of my mind."

"Don't worry about it. What, are you still upset about Kitten?"

Rachel sat up and shook her head. "No, it's my mom. I can't get that day out of my mind. No matter how hard I try, it's always there." She closed her eyes for a moment. "I remember running into the room. I still see the image of her lying on the floor."

Jason sat up, he was awake now. "You mean you found her?"

Still covered by the blanket, she pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She continued, "There was a bottle of pills next to her. Some pills were strewn across the floor. She also had a bottle of some kind of alcohol. She must have hit her head when she collapsed. She had a cut on her forehead. There was blood, a lot of blood. She was lying there so still. I-I thought she was ..." Her voice trailed off.

While Rachel told about her mom, Jason slipped his jeans back on. He went over and turned on the light on the nightstand. He sat on the bed. Jason couldn't believe what she was telling him.

Rachel took a moment before continuing. "When I screamed I must have sounded terrified because dad was there immediately." She stared into space as she spoke, "I don't remember much else after that. Everything was kind of a blur, the ambulance, the hospital and doctors. I do remember dad looking so worried. I felt bad because he had to worry about mom and me. A neighbor finally showed up at the hospital and took me to their house. They tried to distract me but I could only think about what I had just seen. All I could think about was how mad mom would be about the blood staining the carpet."

She looked at Jason, "Isn't that crazy? My mom could've been dying and I was worried about the carpet. I guess somebody cleaned it, I don't know. Dad never let me go back in that room. And not long after that, we moved to Jump City. That scene always seems to be in the back of my mind."

The sad teen folded her arms on top of her knees. She rested her chin on her arm before she continued, "There was a time when I was mad at her. I'd wished she'd succeeded. God, I sound awful, wishing my mother had actually killed herself. I don't hate her. I loved her. I do love her now. It's just, you don't know hard it's been to know she's nearby but I can't contact her. You've been able to call your real father a few times. I haven't been able to talk to her since that day. At the hospital, when I went to say good-bye, she completely ignored me. It was as if I was invisible or not even there. She was aware of dad but not of me. All these years, I haven't heard a thing from her. I miss her. I need her. If she'd died, I would have a gravestone to visit."

Rachel covered her face with her hands. "God! Again, I sound like the cold-hearted bitch everyone thinks I am."

Jason took her hands and pulled them away from her face. He held them between his hands. He forced Rachel to look him in the eye. "You are not a bitch and you're not cold-hearted. You're hurt, and I think you're just the opposite. You're sensitive to so much and to protect yourself from the pain you put up walls. That's what people usually see.

"And I get what you're saying about if your mom had died. Then you'd have somewhere to visit her. Something to grasp onto, even if it was just a gravestone. But the way things are now, thinking that she's out of the hospital, you still have a chance. Maybe we'll find her tomorrow. Maybe it'll be a new beginning for you two. Even if we don't find her tomorrow, we can keep looking. I'll help you."

Rachel frowned, "Ugh. I hate myself for the things I think sometimes. I need her, especially this year. I have friends. And if that's not unbelievable enough, I have a boyfriend. But I have questions about everything, school, dating, everything. I feel like she abandoned me. I almost wish she had given me up as baby. Then I wouldn't have had almost twelve years to know her and love her. Maybe then I wouldn't hurt so badly."

He hugged her. "I'm sorry you're in so much pain."

Holding him tightly, she fought against the tears that threatened to surface. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, you probably didn't want to hear all of that. I've kept this locked inside me so long."

"You don't have to apologize. So you never talked to someone about this? What about your dad?"

"No, it's just my problem. He has his own ...demons ...to deal with. Besides, Dad's always busy with work. Sometimes, I don't think he notices me." '...except to hurt me.'

Jason pulled back from the hug. He tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. "Rachel, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you felt so lonely."

Rachel studied Jason's eyes. She didn't know she'd do that, tell him so much. He saw some of her inner layers. Some of those layers she thought made her a freak, an anomaly. She told Jason everything except the abuse, no one could ever know about that, and he didn't run from her. Rachel was certain if Jason knew how messed up she was, he'd bolt. Instead, she thought she saw a flicker of caring in his eyes. She wasn't sure. Could he really care for her when it seemed that no one else did?

While staring, searching each others eyes, Rachel tried to sort things. She had just opened herself emotionally to him. Yes, she'd lied to him, but she explained things. Jason was still helping her. He could've dropped her when he learned that she had lied about her mother. He could've turned back to Jump City and told her to forget everything, that they were done. But he didn't. He stayed with her. He helped her. He said he'd continue to help her. He didn't need to do that.

Shouldn't she be physically open to him as well? Rachel didn't know if she could do that. She told herself it would be kind of like giving him a reward for staying with her. Shouldn't she show him some gratitude? Didn't he deserves something for putting up with all her shit?

Rachel knew she'd be in trouble if her father knew she was here. She didn't know why, but he hated talking about her mother. The main reason she'd be in trouble was she was in a hotel room with her boyfriend. She remembered getting yelled at and pushed around when her father saw her and Jason kissing in Jason's car, nothing more. She didn't understand why her father was so protective when it came to boys but he didn't give it a second thought to hurting her. He didn't seem to want to keep her for himself, as in a sexual way. Rachel was grateful for that. But was the emotional, physical and psychological abuse really the only way her father could show he loved her. That wasn't love.

Maybe Jason didn't love her either but he cared, didn't he? Maybe it was dangerous to start this. Jason had never pushed her to do more than she could handle. He knew she was new to dating. She knew he'd slept with other girls before moving to Jump City. He seemed all right with kissing and slowly doing more things. If Jason wanted to do more while they made out, he never let on, but she knew he had to want more. However, what if, after they got passed a certain point, there was no way to stop, even if she wanted to stop. Could she, should she risk being hurt just for a chance to feel like someone wanted her, to pretend she was loved?

Rachel felt her heart beating nervously in her chest. It was now or never. It wasn't really. There'd be other chances but that was how it felt to her. If she hesitated she knew she would lose her courage, her spontaneity. If she was really going to do this, she had to do it now. Rachel whispered, "Do you care for me?"

"Of course I do." Jason kissed her softly before he got up to go back to the sofa.

"Jason, wait …" She climbed out of bed. He was surprised to see Rachel wasn't wearing her jeans.

"Rachel?"

Rachel went over to him. She took his face between her hands. Her lips grazed his before she pressed her lips harder against his. She needed to feel as close to him as she possibly could. He returned the kiss with the same intensity.

They kissed passionately as she touched his body. The last time they'd kissed like that, they almost went all the way. Rachel remembered how Jason made her feel good. She needed to feel that again. She needed to feel like someone wanted her.

With trembling fingers, Rachel unbuttons her shirt, exposing a cami. She watched Jason watching her slowly slip her shirt off her shoulders. Seeing the desire in his eyes, she felt her face getting warm.

Gaining confidence by Jason's reaction, Rachel let her shirt fall to the floor. She was now just wearing bra, panties and a cami. Wanting, needing to have less things between them, Rachel pealed off her cami.

Rachel was relieved she was wearing matching bra and panties. She was also glad that they were cute, almost sexy. It'd be so embarrassing to be wearing old, plain things. A smile formed on Rachel's lips, it matched Jason's smile. He seemed to like what he saw. "You're beautiful," whispered Jason.

They embraced in a long, ardent kiss. Rachel closed her eyes as Jason touched her bare skin. His caress sent shivers up and down her spine. Her heart rate increased and her breathing became strained as his lips trailed down her neck. He caressed her barely covered body, producing soft moans from the raven-haired girl.

Rachel took a deep breath before she lead Jason to the bed, where he removed his jeans. Now underwear was the only thing between the two. She shyly eyed Jason. She couldn't believe she was doing this. Her eyes slowly traveled down, passed his waist. The bulge left no question that he was ready. She knew her face was turning red. Could she do this?

Once more, Rachel was in awe that she could make a guy feel that way, that she could make him hard. She'd never thought of herself as sexy or desirable. She'd always been ridiculed by boys. Now it was different. Tonight was different. She was in a hotel room with her boyfriend. This wasn't what they'd planned to do but this was what they were doing. Seeing Jason aroused and knowing she was the reason, Rachel felt warmth building in her core.

Jason got on the bed and rested back on his elbows. Rachel climbed onto him. Straddling him, she leaned over him. Her long hair fell around them as she kissed him passionately. Feeling her body rub against him, a deep low growl escaped from his throat.

Rachel's breath caught in her throat when she did that. She had no idea how enthralling, how sensual it would feel to have their bodies touch. Her body tingled with excitement. Only two pieces of thin fabric kept their bodies from contacting. They kissed passionately as their hands explored, touching each other. This was a lot more than they'd ever done.

They both had their underwear on but Rachel was almost overwhelmed by the electricity pulsating through her body. Her body practically ached for him to touch her. They kissed with increasing passion.

Rachel knew she was a complete novice when it came to all of this. She was glad she was with Jason. He had experience. Then again, any experience was more than she had. She knew he would make her feel. And Rachel knew Jason was someone safe. She had opened up about so much. Tonight, she was safe to feel.

Jason had always been so patient with her. Rachel knew he wanted to do more than simple kissing and holding hands. A part of her wanted to do more but she was scared. She was always afraid if they did too much, Jason would make her feel. Ironically, that was what she needed now. Rachel remembered how she felt one night when she let Jason cup her breast. Even though her clothes, she liked feeling Jason's touch. Rachel imagined tonight would be like that only so much better.

As their lips continued to press hungrily against one another, Jason put his hands on Rachel's waist. Rolling them over, a squeak of surprise escaped from Rachel. Now she was underneath him with her dark hair splayed around her and Jason between her legs. Rachel noticed Jason's eyes were dark with desire as he studied her. She knew her own pale skin was flushed.

Jason was careful not to put all his weight on her as his lips took over hers. Rachel couldn't believe how sensual it felt having her boyfriend settled tween her thighs. She knew she should slow things down, maybe even stop things before they got carried away. Didn't she say they shouldn't be so quick to have sex? Didn't she say there was no hurry?

Rachel knew Jason wasn't pressuring her. She knew that he would wait for her to be ready. She also knew that once they were together, that he'd been gentle. However, at the moment, he was making Rachel feel things she'd never felt before. And a part of herl wished Jason would press into her. She was nervous and scared of what he made her feel. But she also craved to feel those things. She wanted to feel things she'd never felt before. She wanted to feel alive.

Rachel was confused when Jason got off of her, then off the bed. She sat up. Where was he going? She smiled nervously when he pulled a condom from his jeans. She was really going to do this?

Jason returned to Rachel. He kissed her as he climbed onto the bed. She pressed her lips harder against his, wanting more. They kissed feverishly as their hands explored each other.

Jason's lips traveled down Rachel's neck. She moaned as he softly kissed her along her collarbone. Caught up in the passion, Rachel didn't object when Jason wrapped his arms around her and unhooked her bra. She knew she should probably stop him but she didn't care. She smiled at him as he slowly slid the straps over her shoulders and down her arms.

Rachel felt her face getting warm and her heart rate increasing. She was a little nervous because Jason was about to see her as no one had. She held her bra to her as she slipped her arms free from the straps. Taking a deep breath, Rachel pulled her bra from her body. The air was cool on her hot skin. Jason's smile widened at the sight of his girlfriend's bare chest. Rachel's grin also widened. She was glad he seemed pleased.

Carefully, Jason laid Rachel onto her back. The sheet felt soft and cool on her bare back. She even thought her long hair felt different against her back. Her every nerve was alert.

Jason tucked some stray strands of Rachel's hair behind her ear as he climbed onto her. Leaning over her, Jason murmured, "You are so beautiful."

Slowly, Rachel closed her eyes as a soft moan escaped her lips when Jason's hands took the place of her bra. As he caressed her, Rachel's breathing quickened at the sensations he made her feel. She was right. It was incredibly better feeling his hands on her bare skin. The intense sensations grew deep in her core.

Jason smiled as he pressed his lips to hers. Rachel ran her fingers through his hair as he kissed her down her neck. "Make …me feel … alive," she breathed.

His mouth moved further down her body. She gasped when he kissed her newly bare skin. He teased her with light kisses. She shivered when he lightly licked her sensitive flesh. When Jason took her into his mouth, Rachel's breath caught in her throat. His mouth was wet and hot on her burning skin. She'd never felt anything so overwhelming.

Rachel breathed his name with a raspy voice. She raised her hips, pressing her body against his. Another low growl escaped from Jason's throat. With his mouth still on her, he smiled. Then he continued teasing her with his tongue. Wiggling with pleasure, Rachel practically purred as he lightly nipped at her.

Rachel knew if they were going to stop, they'd have to do it soon, before they went too far. But the building sensations he made her feel were incredible. He made her feel wanted, alive. For once she felt like she was good enough.

Maybe that was what she needed. Maybe she needed to sleep with Jason so she could feel real, to feel whole. Maybe he shouldn't be gentle with her. Maybe she should just let him do things to her so she would know she was alive. Maybe, deep down inside, and part of her wanted to know what it was like to have hot sex.

As Jason's mouth greedily kissed her bare skin, the intense sensations grew within her. She couldn't help moaning and writhing underneath him. If he could make her feel so good with what they've done so far, what would it be like if they went all the way? Rachel moaned in his ear, "Ohh …Jason …I …need …you." Her face became red hearing those words slip from her lips.

"Are you sure?" asked Jason. His breath was labored. "Once we get to a certain stage, we can't stop. "

"I know. Make feel like I'm alive."

Jason smiled. "Okay, but I have some other things to do first."

Jason's hands expertly explored his girlfriend's body. He reached between her legs. His fingers brushed over the damp fabric, touching her. She inhaled sharply. Rachel had never been touched like that. She'd been curious but was too afraid to touch herself like that. Rachel couldn't believe she was about to make love. She hoped she did everything alright. She's nervous but wanted this.

Jason slowly pulled his hand from her. He pushed himself back and studied his girlfriend. Rachel saw the lust and desire in his eyes. She imagined she had similar desire in her eyes. "You're so hot," whispered Jason. That made her more aroused, knowing that Jason wanted her. She wondered why they'd ever held back. A part of her wanted Jason to tear off her panties off and make love to her until she screamed.

Jason's lips went back to teasing Rachel's body. He traveled down to her stomach. He teased her navel, making her let out a breathless giggle. He continued passed her abdomen.

Rachel watched with curiosity as Jason knelt back. She didn't know what he was doing. What Jason did next, surprised her. Jason delicately kissed each of her knees. Slowly, he kissed her inner thighs, going further up her thighs. Jason's face was inches from her. His hot breath on the wet fabric made Rachel's nerves tingle with excitement. She couldn't help moaning.

Slowly and gently, Jason kissed her in a most intimate way. She inhaled sharply and loudly moaned his name. Rachel's eyes rolled back as she closed her eyed. She couldn't believe how amazing he made her feel. She felt the lightening-like energy surging through her body.

Rachel writhed, squealed and moaned as Jason's mouth continued his loving assault between her thighs. She panted for breath. Her nerves were on fire. Rachel felt her core tightening like a spring. The intense sensations, the building tension he made her feel was almost too much. She didn't know how much more she could take.

Rachel threw back her head and cried out as the pressure building within her finally broke. Warm, tingly feelings flooded her body. Followed by slight pulsations at her core.

Slowly, Rachel started to relax. She couldn't believe what he'd just made her feel. Jason climbed back onto Rachel. She smiled as she caught her breath. She had no idea it would be that …that … , she had no words to describe it.

It didn't take long for the kisses to become passionate again. They kissed as if they couldn't get enough of one another. Rachel reached down, between their bodies. She tentatively touched him through his underwear. A guttural growl came from Jason. "Wait …" He groaned, "Not …yet …Let me …you first."

As their mouths hungrily sought one another, Jason slipped his hand under the waistband of her panties. He watched his girlfriend's face as his hand ventured farther. She closed her eyes and gasped when he touched her wet, delicate skin. She was excited having her boyfriend directly touch her intimately.

Rachel became tense and her eyes flew open when Jason started to push his finger into her. She didn't know why she didn't expect that. That was what she wanted.

"You okay?"

Rachel nodded. It felt so strange and foreign but it felt good. Giving her some time to adjust, he slowly pushed his finger into her. She closed her eyes as he did that.

Jason kissed her neck. Their torsos touched. Rachel's nerves were on fire. Her short navy nails dug into his back as he pushed another finger into her.

She was breathless. Rachel felt the intensity of excitement course through her body again. She didn't know how much more she could take. She felt as if she was going to explode. He certainly knew how to make her feel alive. Rachel raised her hips, pushing herself closer to him.

Rachel writhed with pleasure. She's never felt anything like this before tonight. Her body tingled as if it was on fire. Her breathing was labored. She felt as if her heart was going to beat out of her chest. It's was as if she'd run a marathon but better.

Once more, Rachel breathed his name as he touched her. As he continued, Jason caressed her most sensitive skin with his thumb. Rachel moaned as she arched her back.

Rachel grasped the sheets as a wave of electricity shot through her body. Once more she lost control of her own body. It was as intoxicating as it was moments ago. She was almost dizzy because of the overwhelming sensations. The dark-haired teen quivered and moaned. She felt herself tighten around Jason's fingers.

Panting for her breath, Rachel smiled as she calmed down some. That was incredible. She was amazed he could make her feel so excited and they hadn't actually slept together yet. Rachel was nervous but ready to lose her virginity to Jason. She spread her legs further apart, inviting him.

Jason pulled away from her. He was surprised by how hot Rachel was. She wasn't exactly shy but sometimes she was timid when it came to making out. Tonight she was so sensual. He was eager to be with her but had to be certain she was ready. "You sure?"

"Oh …God …yes …" Rachel moaned breathlessly. She was moments away from losing her virginity.

Not wanting to wait any longer, Jason grabbed the condom. Rachel smiled, "We're you expecting me to sleep with you sometime? Or do you just carry condoms in case you hook up with some girl?" Her questions were innocent. She was just teasing him but Jason felt a twinge of guilt. He had been with Terra.

Jason brushed aside the guilt and climbed back on top of Rachel. With his hands on her waist, he kissed Rachel's lips. He slipped his thumbs under the waistband of her panties. Jason got a memory of doing the same things with Terra. He tried to shake the memories but couldn't. He didn't want think about sleeping with Terra while he was with Rachel. Rachel didn't deserve that.

Groaning, he broke away from the kiss. Rachel went to kiss her boyfriend again. He put his hand up to stop her. "Wait. I can't. I kinda feel like you might not be ready for this." Jason got off of Rachel.

Clutching the sheet to her chest, she sat up. Confused, Rachel looked at him, "What? Don't you want this? Don't you …want …me?"

Reluctantly backing away from the seemingly willing girl, Jason got out of bed and grabbed his jeans. "I do want you. God knows I've thought of nothing else since that night we almost did it."

Grabbing her bra, Rachel quickly put it on. She went over to Jason. "Then, what's the problem?" She tried to kiss him.

Jason shook his head and turned away from her so he wouldn't see the pain in her eyes. "I'm ready. I want you but I don't think you're ready."

"What! We would've had done it that one time if your mother hadn't come home early. Why is tonight different? We were alone. We weren't going to get interrupted. We were moments from doing it now." Rachel paused, "I know you've been with other girls and I've never … Did I do something wrong? Am I …not good …enough?" Wearing only her bra and panties, Rachel started shivering. She had goosebumps forming.

When Jason turned back to face Rachel, he noticed that. He didn't know if it was because she was cold, angry or it was the effects of what they did but not having sex. It could've been a combination of those things. Jason didn't want her to be upset. He needed to make her understand without telling her the real reason.

"No, no, you did nothing wrong. The last time, I had a feeling you were unsure. When my mom came home, I could sense you were more than a little relieved. I think, right now, you might be too emotional about your mom. I don't want to pressure you into something you might regret later."

Wrapping her arms around herself, Rachel turned to the windows. 'How does everyone seem to know what I'm feeling when I have trouble knowing myself.'

Rachel turned back to face Jason. "What about what we just did? Our hands were all over each other. Your hands and mouth were all over me. You made me feel things I've never felt before. We were moments away from doing it. I was ready. If I wanted to stop, don't you think I would've done so earlier? Before I was nearly naked."

"I think you were getting caught up in it. I want our first time, your first time, to be special. It shouldn't be quick, just so you can say you did it. Besides, you're too young. Your father would kill me if he knew what we just did let alone if I slept with you. I mean, he freaked when he found us just kissing."

"Forget about my father. It's my choice, my decision to have sex. He doesn't get a say. And what do you mean, I'm too young? I'll be sixteen in a few months. How old were you for your first time?"

Jason hesitated, "Um, fifteen, but Rachel, it's different for girls."

"Damn double standards," mumbled Rachel.

"Rachel, I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you."

Sighing, Rachel whispered to herself, "I just wanted …to feel …"

Jason thought he hears her say loved, but he wasn't sure. He placed a hand on her shoulder, "Rachel, I …"

She shrugged him off. "Forget it. We should get some sleep." Rachel went to the bed leaving Jason standing there, watching her. Climbing into bed, she turned off the light. "I'm sorry. This was all a mistake."

"Rachel …"

"No, it's okay. I'm okay. Don't worry, I get it. Get some rest, you have a long drive. We'll leave the first thing in the morning."

"What about finding your mom?"

The disappointed teen sighed, "Like I said, this was all a huge mistake. We shouldn't have come here."

"Rachel …"

"Good night."

Jason stared at her comforter covered form. Her back was to him. He knew what she was doing. Rachel was shutting him out. She was putting up walls again. When they started dating, she was often like this. Jason didn't want her going back to that. He didn't want her feeling rejected.

Jason grabbed the extra blanket. He got into bed with Rachel, the blanket was between them. Lying down, Jason gently put his arm around Rachel's waist. He felt her become tense.

Rachel tightly clutched her bedding. "No. Don't. I, I …can't …not, not now. Not after …"

"Shh, we're not going to do anything. I just want to comfort you. Try to relax."

Several minutes later Jason felt Rachel become a little less on edge.

After sleeping a few hours, Jason woke up confused. It took him a moment to remember where he was and why he was sleeping next to Rachel. He remembered that they almost had sex but didn't. He mentally kicked himself for screwing up.

He wondered why he woke up when Rachel moved some; she's tense again. She seemed to be dreaming. Jason wondered if she was dreaming about her mom. Seeing that Rachel clutched the bedding tighter to her, he realized she was having a nightmare. He wanted to comfort her but was afraid to wake her.

Soon Rachel began to calm down. She turned over and nestled against him. Jason tenderly wrapped his arm around her. The rest of the night, they slept soundly.

Rachel woke up to the sound of things shower. At first, she didn't know where she was. Why was she in a hotel room? Why was she wearing only her bra and panties? Groaning, she remembered the events of last night. They'd almost made love but Jason stopped right before they did. For some reason, he rejected her. Rolling onto her back, Rachel covered her face with her hands. "Ugh, I messed up everything." She stayed like that until the shower turned off. Sitting up, she wondered what Jason would say. What should she say to him?

Jason entered the room, running a towel over his hair. "Morning, Bubbles, I ..."

Rachel cut him off before he could say anything else. "Let me take a quick shower, then we'll go." Climbing out of bed, she grabbed her clothes and raced to the bathroom. Shutting the door, she leaned against it. Rachel sighed, repeated, "I messed up everything."

Stepping into the shower, the warm water felt good. Tears stung her eyes. Frustrated, she slammed her fists onto her thighs. She hissed faintly to herself, "I thought I was passed this. I haven't done this for years." As the tears streamed faster down her cheeks, she remembered years ago, crying in the shower so no one would hear her and there'd be no trace of her crying. While washing her hair, she let the tears flow. Rachel turned to the showerhead and let the warm water wash away her tears.

When Rachel came out of the bathroom, she was completely dressed with a towel wrapped around her hair. She searched her backpack while Jason continued watching TV. Irritated about not finding a comb or brush in her bag, Rachel pulled the towel off her head and returned to the bathroom. She came back to the room running her fingers through her long dark hair. It was drying in soft waves and hanging in her face some. "Okay, we can go back to Jump City now."

Turning off the TV, Jason suggested, "Why don't we get some breakfast first."

Rachel shrugged her shoulders. "Sure, fine, whatever."

When they got on the elevator, a college-aged guy was already on it. He looked over the two teen. After checking out Rachel, he gave Jason an approving grin. Before he got off the elevator, he said to Jason, "Not bad. Way to go, dude."

Rachel looked up, confused. What was that guy talking about? Then it occurred to her. "Did that guy just assume we'd had sex?"

"Um, er ..."

Rachel crossed her arms and leaned against the wall. "Great."

After ordering, they sat in silence. Jason watched her as she looked out the window. Rachel tucked her hair behind her ears, revealing her face. Studying her, Jason noticed that she looked younger without any makeup on. Not that she usually wore a lot of makeup but her black eyeliner was sometimes like a mask, hiding what she was feeling. He didn't think she looked like a little girl. She just looked closer to fourteen than sixteen. Maybe it was for the best that they didn't have sex. Still, he didn't like hurting Rachel. He knew he needed to make her understand it wasn't her fault. "Rachel, about last ni …"

Rachel's phone rang. She recognized the number. It was the one she called yesterday. She glanced at Jason as she answered it.

"Hello?"

"Is this Rachel Roth?"

"Yes?"

"This is …Angela. Are you still in Hamilton?"

"Yes."

"Would you be able to meet me?"

"Really? Yes, where should we meet?"

"Do you know where Fraser Park is?"

"Yes, yes I know where it is. Um, when should I …?"

"How about ten-thirty this morning? Is that a good time for you?"

"Uh, yeah, that works for me."

"Okay, bye."

"Okay, um, I'll see you then. Bye." Rachel stared at her phone after the conversation ended.

Curious, Jason asked, "Well, who was that?"

Rachel looked up at him. Blinking several times, she seemed to have forgotten he was there. "That was my mom. She is here in Hamilton and she wants to see me." She could hardly believe she'd actually have a chance to see her.

Jason started to get up, "We can go now and eat later."

"No, I'm going to meet her at a park at ten-thirty, so we have time." Jason settled back down. Rachel absentmindedly stared out the window. Again, they sat in silence as they waited for their order to arrive.

Suddenly they heard a voice call out through the soft diner noise. "Rachel Roth, what are you doing here?"

Rachel frowned and slouched down in her seat. She knew that voice.

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