Hey guys! I found time to write a chapter for you lovely readers out there. Thank you so much for being patient with me and for sending this story so much love. It is very much appreciated; definitely keeps me motivated to continue writing for you guys.
I hope you guys enjoy this chapter.
The song featured in this chapter is: Bedtime Story – Frank Ocean.
Happy Reading!
Disclaimer: I don't own BTR or any songs.
Christina was scared. She wasnt sure if she should feel happy that Logan was coming or if she should be frustrated that he was finally trying to talk to her. What was going on? He was mad. She knows Logan and he was mad. Or at least frustrated when he was on the phone. If it was about Carlos, he could go somewhere else with that bullshit. She could easily turn the tables on him.
But she was tired of arguing. She just wanted to talk to him. A civil conversation. She missed him. She really did. And she wasnt going to ignore the fact that Carlos definitely made up for him being stupid.
It's just that.. it's Logan. Their relationship was above and beyond, for the most part. She loved him. And she knows she'll always love him. There's no doubt about it.
"I dont know what to do.." Christina mumbled onto her knees.
"Just talk to him. There isnt anything else you could do. Keep cool." Felicia added. "What time is he coming?"
"I dont know.. He said later. But I'm sure its soon."
"Well. I guess I should go then. Just call me if anything."
"Felicia dont leave!" Christina was nervous. She needed her sister right now, but at the same time she knew it wasnt supposed to burder her sister. She didnt want to.
"Christina.." Felicia felt sympathetic. "You'll be fine. Trust me. You need to talk to him." Christina sighed.
"Okay."
"Call me, text me. Anything. I love you."
"Love you too."
With that, Felicia left. Christina felt alone. She held onto Mochi, but she still felt alone. And she was nervous. She didn't know what to feel. She was finally gonna talk to Logan.
After so long..
What could he possibly want to talk about? Honestly, Christina had no words. Nothing that would hold a conversation. So how was this going to work?
She was just gonna let it be until then. She tried watching tv and ended up falling asleep.
Our pillows ain't giving no comfort
And the fan is blowing way too loud
Even my heartbeat wakes me up
And I can't drown it out
Cause my eyelids ain't heavy enough
And there ain't enough sheep on my ceiling to count
Ain't slept a wink since you left me
No inspiration to dream, baby
She was dreaming. She was dreaming that they were still together. That the wedding was on and that they were moving into a dream house. Not a big huge barbie house, but a house just big enough for them and Mochi. They got married at the Malibu House and everything was the way it was supposed to be. Cinderella themed. Family. Happiness. Joy. All of the above.
You're my bedtime story
Bedtime but I can't sleep
No bedtime story, bedtime story
Oh
This is how it was supposed to be.
Not this mess they were in.
Christina doesn't even think they'll get back to the way they were after this Carlos drama.
I never really liked this apartment, no
There's not enough windows
That ain't the reason you left
I did that by myself
But I wish you'd come back before the sun comes up again
Cause my eyelids ain't heavy enough
And there ain't enough sheep on my ceiling to count
Ain't slept a wink since you left me
No inspiration to dream, baby
Knock knock knock.
She didn't think she was asleep for long, but when she turned to look at the clock, it was already 9pm. Where had the time gone? Well. She couldn't think about that now. Logan was at the door. She quietly got up, with Mochi in her arms and rubbed her eyes. She opened the door and her stomach dropped. Her heart dropped too.
She missed that face of his. His body. His swag. His everything.
"Hey." Christina quietly said as she stepped aside and let him in.
"Hey." He said quietly. He sat on her couch and she followed behind him, but remained standing after letting Mochi go.
"So.. how've you been?"
"Uh, alright. I guess. You?" Christina rolled her eyes. That annoyed her. He was great. He should've been great, at least, with all those hoes he's been playin' with.
"Fine." Logan rolled his eyes as well.
"Yeah, Im sure you've been. Especially with Carlos." Christina shook her head and scoffed.
"Don't even start with me. You were runnin' your game too."
"Right." Logan said sarcastically. But he knew it was true.
"Is that what you came here for? To interrogate me and run all this bullshit?" Her voice rose and he stood up.
"Actually, yeah. What's up with that? I had to sit my ass in bed and watch all these things about you and Carlos spending time together!"
"So what? He was helping me get through this shit you were putting me through!"
"Oh, so you kiss him?"
"YES I KISSED HIM. So the fuck what, Logan? Shit happens, right? I'm sure you know cause that's probably your excuse for every girl you've fucked since we've called it quits!"
"Why couldn't you just talk to me about this?"
"Oh, of course. No response to that last comment because you know its true. I didn't wanna talk to you about it because I thought you were completely done and it would've made no sense to talk to you." Christina was on the verge of tears.
"YES, it's true. I'll admit it. I had sex with plenty of girls since we've broken up. And I regretted it. But after all this Carlos bullshit, it kind of makes me feel fine with it." Christina was tearing up, inside and out. But Logan had the same, angry facial expression.
"Fuck you, Logan. Fuck you for doing this to me." Christina turned her back towards him and cried.
"I just don't get why. Why you couldn't talk to me. We could've settled everything from the moment we called it quits. We would have been together right now." His voice turned softer.
"I don't know, okay. I don't. I'm sorry."
"Why Carlos?"
"He was always there for me." This made Logan angry. That was supposed to be his job. Not Carlos'. "You know, Logan. Don't even turn this on me. The kiss isnt even half as bad as what you've done. Why would you even do that? You were never like that."
"I wasn't. But shit happens."
"What a great excuse. Whatever Logan. This is useless."
"Its fucked up."
"What?" Christina turned back around and looked at him. He ran a hand through his hair and shook his head.
"After everything I still want this." Christina shook her head.
"Logan. Really?"
"What do you mean? Yes really."
"You don't just come into my house and yell at me over shit and then claim you want me again. Fuck that! You fucked so many girls, how am I supposed to act like nothing happened? You're ridiculous. I'm over you being this way."
"Oh, okay Christina. Okay. I'm ridiculous? Lets not forget you kissed my bestfriend."
"This isnt getting anywhere. We obviously both fucked up, and we obviously both are doing our own thing. So.. please. I think it's best you leave."
"Whatever Christina. Fuck it. I tried."
"Logan, seriously. Leave. Please. This isnt working."
"So you're just gonna throw it all away. Im willing to drop everything."
"Well you know, I cant right now. You cant just come here and expect me to fall back in love with you." Christina instantly regretted saying it. She was still in love with him. She knew this. But she couldn't let go of everything he did. And she wasn't over her kiss with Carlos. She couldn't just drop everything like it didn't happen.
You're my bedtime story
Bedtime but I can't sleep
No bedtime story, bedtime story
Oh
Because they happened, alright.
You gotta let me read just a page of you baby
You gotta help me sleep this ain't healthy, no way
Where's my bedtime story
Just three words to my bedtime story, bedtime story oh
And it's not easy to have memories like this. It's never easy to remember things like this. Especially when you try to remember the good, but end up remembering the bad the most.
She loves him.
He loves her.
But maybe they're over for good. And maybe Christina's gonna go back to the way her life was before Logan and vice versa.
Every time I lay my head down
Baby I, baby I, baby I'm thinking of you
Baby I-I'm thinking of you
Every time I lay my head down
Baby I, baby I, baby I'm thinking of you
Baby I-I'm thinking of you
Who is she kidding. She loves the guy. It's just not the right time.
"Christina.." His voice was softer.
"Please." She was hurting. Logan can sense it. And it was staring to hover over to him too. "You cant just come here and expect me to fall back in love with you" repeated in his head over and over again. He lost her. But he wasn't going to let her go for good.
Even though they didn't accomplish anything during their talk, he was certain he had to change. For the better. He really fucked up. And she was right. A kiss between her and Carlos didn't compare to the shit he's done.
And he's done some fucked up shit after their break up.
"Alright.." He threw up his hands and escorted himself out of the door. He reached the hallway and pounded his fist on it. Christina broke down in tears on her couch, with Mochi coming to her side.
As much as they both wanted this back, they didn't know how to get it back.
Ain't slept a wink since you left me
No inspiration to dream
Baby you're my Bedtime story
Bedtime but I can't sleep
My bedtime story bedtime story
You gotta let me read just a page of you baby
You gotta help me sleep this ain't healthy, no way
Where's my bedtime story
Just three words in my bedtime story bedtime story oh
I love you
I love you
Reviews are much appreciated. (: