Chapter Fourteen

Alice

Well I'd started so I had to continue,

"Bella I know you're shocked but think about it. I was a lone woman with no idea of what had happened or who was responsible. I had a huge hole where my past should have been. I was scared and confused and the only thing I could see was Carlisle Cullen offering me a way to live that I could cope with. It was like a shining safe harbour but I had to get there and I had no idea who was good and who was bad in this world. Then I saw Jasper, I knew what he was and I knew where he was going to be so I could arrange a meeting, the problem was how did I persuade him to accompany me to the Cullens. Why would he agree to take me there? I was nothing to him...but I could be. I was drawn to him and you must admit he was very easy on the eye. If he thought I was the one, his mate, then he'd go wherever I wanted and it wasn't all selfish. He had problems of his own that could be overcome with Carlisle's help and the support I was willing to give him. So you see we both got something from my little white lie."

"Alice it was hardly a little white lie. You told Jasper you were his mate and did everything to make him believe it just so you could get where you wanted to go safely! What about him?"

"He got me. I put everything into that relationship Bella. It wasn't easy fooling an empath I can tell you, but I did have one ally and ironically it was the same one that had turned his life into a living hell."

"Who?"

"Maria, his sire. She made him the savage he became but she was also his only lover and she didn't really love him only what he could do for her. So you see he had nothing to gauge my feelings against, or his own. What Jasper thought was love was actually gratitude and little else. I gave him what he was striving for, a way to live without the torture of killing humans to feed. His life became peaceful and much more relaxed and to him that was enough and probably more than he thought he deserved."

Bella

Alice had always confused me because she was a mixture of competing attitudes and emotions. She appeared to be happy and willing to help make others feel the same but everything she did also provided her with some reward. My friendship gave he an outlet for her exuberance, I was like a small child she was introducing to the grown ups world. I became the little sister she had never had. All her little treats and parties were so she could show off her skills and indulge her latest whims be it clothes, music, or decorating. Alice I had come to realize was a puppet master and we, as we indulged her, became the puppets.

"What would you have done if he ran into his real mate? Surely he would have known then?"

"Well firstly I knew before he did when his mate would show up so I had plenty of time to prepare things and secondly I was able to orchestrate things the way I wanted. I would let Jasper go once the time was right."

"For who Alice? For you or for him?"

She looked at me a little abashed,

"Good question Bella. You see I not only saw his mate but my own. Unfortunately I got the timing off a little and his mate decided to make things difficult, she just didn't see things the way she was supposed to, it meant I was in a difficult position. If Jasper found out I had been lying to him and put his real mate at risk because I kept the truth to myself a little too long he could have turned very ugly, besides I owed something to the Cullens and to blurt out the truth would have hurt them, one especially. I was in a very difficult position."

"So how did you deal with it?"

"Not well I'm afraid because I couldn't tell what his mate was going to do, I misjudged things and it almost cost her life. It also lost me Jasper and ended up splitting the family anyway."

"Why are you telling me all this? Did I know her? Was it one of the Denali girls I heard so much about?"

"No, much closer to home and when I tell you I rather think you will be cross too."

"Me? Why? Alice come on."

"Before I tell you I have to explain something. I set Edward up to fall for you."

"You did what?"

"I knew you were his singer and Edward would be drawn to you like a moth to a flame and just as destructively. I told him you were his mate and he believed me. Why shouldn't he? He felt the draw and mistook the lure of your blood for the lure of your heart. I needed you out of the way, beyond reach. Jasper was furious with me, meddling, I think he felt Edwards emotions with regard to you and he knew something wasn't right. I saw my own mate closing in and I set up the party and the accident, or at least it was coming anyway and I decided to use it to my own ends."

"What ends Alice?"

"Well, it wasn't meant to go the way it did. When you cut yourself and Edward over reacted, as I knew he would, knocking you into the table full of crystal and causing you a lot more damage Jasper was supposed to save you from the thirst of the others. What I didn't take into consideration was that he would hesitate long enough to make sure he wasn't going to hurt you before moving. As it was Emmett and Edward were able to get to him first and wrestle him out of the room. He still saved you though Bella without even realizing he'd done it. He took Edwards thirst away, pulled it into his body enabling Edward to control himself."

"I knew there was something wrong with the picture but I was never able to work out what. I'd never felt uneasy with Jasper despite what everyone kept telling me...you included Alice."

She heard my accusing tone and nodded,

"Yes, I needed to keep you two apart as much as I possibly could. When Edward came back from taking you home and told us we had to leave I thought things were back on track, I would go with the Cullens to Denali and find my mate waiting there while Jasper would stay behind and recognise his. Instead he insisted he was to blame, he felt guilty and offered to apologise to you and leave. I tried to stop him but Edward and the others blamed him too, Emmett was especially angry because he was so fond of you and Jasper left with the anger of the others ringing in his ears."

Alice

My story was almost over now and I wondered if Bella had any idea how it ended,

"I went to Denali but something had happened, my mate had heard about the trouble in the Cullen family and decided to leave before we got there. I'm still looking for him but I always seem to be one step behind despite using my gift. In the end I decided it was because I had meddled with other lives and was being punished so I came to find you. If I told you the truth perhaps I would be allowed my own happiness. I'm really sorry Bella. I know you've had a hard time of it and its all my fault."

"I still don't understand. Are you telling me that I should have stayed with Edward? That he's looking for me, realizing he's made a mistake? Because if you are I have to tell you that he's way too late."

"No Bella, haven't you been listening at all to what I've said? Edward was never your mate. He will find his eventually but it was never you. You are Jaspers mate. I tried to tell him before he left but he said I'd lied so much he didn't believe anything I said any longer and I guess I don't blame him."

Bella hadn't taken in anything I said after the statement about Jasper, she looked shell-shocked.

"Jasper?"

"Yes."