"Never had I imagined
Living without your smile
Feeling and knowing you hear me
It keeps me alive" - Boys II Men (feat. Mariah Carey)
Lexa woke up feeling an unfamiliar surface beneath her body. A bed that was softer than her own. She immediately remembered where she was: the previous night's activities flowing through her mind. She reached out with her arm but found nothing but empty sheets. The brunette cracked an eye open to look around the room and groaned seeing Clarke was nowhere to be found. She slowly sat up: letting the sheets slip from her naked form and realized that it was daylight...morning. Sunday morning.
"Shit." she said out loud and frantically looked around for some source of time. The alarm clock on the nightstand said it was 8:15. She had time to get home and change before having to go to Church at 11:30. Lexa pulled open the drawer she knew had T-shirts in them and pulled one over her head. It took her a minute but she found her panties and put those on too before going to the restroom to freshen up and then going to search for Clarke.
It wasn't hard to find her. If the smell of burnt food wasn't obvious enough, the faint sounds of "dammit" and "ouch" were the next indicators that the blonde was in the kitchen. Lexa stood back and admired her girlfriend trying to be domestic in her little bathrobe with her straggly hair pulled up in an inefficient bun. The brunette tiptoed up behind Clarke and slowly slipped her arms around her middle.
"You weren't there when I woke up." she said as she placed a soft kiss on the blonde's neck, smiling as she jumped in surprise before relaxing into her arms.
"I know, I'm sorry. I wanted to wake you up with breakfast in bed but i've been failing at eggs and pancakes for the past 30 minutes" she huffed and threw the plastic spatula she was holding into the sizzling skillet.
"Ok." Lexa stated. She turned off the fire and quickly cleaned up some of the mess Clarke had made. "I seem to remember some perfectly good cookies that we never got around to eating last night...I think that and a glass of milk would be the best breakfast in bed."
"But I wanted it to be romantic and...I don't know. Not lame."
"Clarke." Lexa said matter of factly. "You're very cute. But we both know you can't cook. You could have brought me a bologna sandwich and I would have thought it was amazing."
"You hate bologna."
"Exactly."
Clarke laughed and shook her head. "Milk and Cookies it is."
"Great!" The brunette cheered. "Now I'm going to go back to bed and you're going to bring me the breakfast of champions."
The blonde hummed her approval and pulled her girlfriend close by the collar of her shirt and kissed her softly on the lips "As hot as you look in my clothes, I want you naked when I get to my room."
"Yes ma'am." Lexa giggled and scurried down the hall. She pulled off her clothes and got back under the covers: laying on her side facing the door but not pretending to be asleep because that would be silly.
2 minutes later Clarke walked in holding a tray that had a plate of cookies and one very large glass of milk on it. Lexa sat up as the tray was placed on the end of the bed. The blonde quickly pressed her lips to her girlfriend's temple and raked her short fingernails over her back. "Good morning." she said playfully.
"Good morning." Lexa responded with a slight laugh. She turned her head and reached up to pull Clarke's face in closer so she could kiss her properly on the lips.
"I didn't mean to sleep over. I hope my parents haven't noticed I'm gone."
"That reminds me. Jenna called you this morning and I answered. Your parents were looking for you and she covered. Said you weren't feeling well after dinner with her and crashed in Anya's room."
"Oh god." the brunette groaned. "I'm so glad she's cool."
"Yeah...but my question is how she knew to cover for you?"
"She knew I was with you. She texted and asked how the birthday dinner was and I told her that you had changed the plans on me."
"Wow...and Jenna was really fine with that? With us being in the house on our own?"
"Her take on it is you're a respectable girl that can't get me pregnant." the brunette shrugged.
"I could always try..."
The blonde tangled her fingers in thick brown curls and leaned down to fuse her lips to Lexa's. Their mouths molded together and their tongues danced easily. This kiss felt different to both of them: it was somehow deeper than any other they've shared. It was true that sex changes things and whatever it was they were feeling was the best kind of change. Lexa was constantly baffled and confused by her feelings. Clarke was an ache in her chest: and not a bad one, not by a long shot. The brunette could physically feel her girlfriend in her heart and it was pure radiance. Clarke was light and love and laughter and beauty and happiness: the very definition of the kind of person Lexa never thought she could have.
Clarke deepened the kiss, forcing her tongue into her girlfriend's mouth, and Lexa suddenly felt a shiver travel up her spine and a heat between her legs. A groan escaped the older girl's mouth: her body aroused before her mind had a chance to catch up.
The blonde swiftly slid the sheets covering her girlfriend's body towards the foot of the bed, happy to discover that she was completely nude.
"You know...I never got to taste you." Clarke said in a low husky voice. "I don't think that's fair"
Lexa couldn't bring herself to respond, she was so incredibly turned on it took everything in her not to spread her legs like a barbarian. So she simply nodded her permission and Clarke was on top her in a matter of seconds: kissing, biting, sucking, and licking down her body while discarding her bath robe. Soon enough, those delicate pink lips were inches away from Lexa's pulsating sex. The look of eagerness in Clarke's eyes and the idea of being pleasured again was driving her insane. The brunette thrashed her legs a bit and wined impatiently, and Clarke laughed lightly to herself because her normally composed girlfriend just threw a little tantrum.
"Someone's a bit eager."
"Just stop teasing."
"Mmm so demanding." The blonde stated playfully. "You'll have to ask nicely."
"Ugh." Lexa groaned impatiently "Please."
Clarke smiled: that wasn't exactly what she was looking for but she'd let it pass this time. The blonde set her gaze on the naked wet flesh in front of her, feeling the heat radiating from her girlfriend's aroused sex on her face. Clarke leaned in and let her tongue lazily swipe across Lexa's center, enjoying the little jump that came along with it.
Clarke stroked ever so lightly a few times more before suddenly diving it. Lexa nearly sat upright at the shock of pleasure, instantly moaning and becoming out of breath. Not only was Clarke not teasing anymore: she was licking and sucking with reckless abandon. The brunette didn't have any time to adjust to the sensation. An orgasm was creeping it's way to the surface and there was no stopping it.
"Oh god." Lexa moaned. "If you don't slow down I won't last long."
Clarke simply locked her blue eyes with green ones and sped the movement of her tongue. Switching between swirling it in circles and making figure 8s. Another moan escaped Lexa's throat: she was in so much pleasure she could barely make a sound at all. Her toes started to tingle and a buzzing sensation traveled up the back of her legs.
"Clarke, I'm so close." she panted out. That newly familiar coiling sensation in her abdomen returned and her back arched off the bed. The blonde then slipped a single finger into her girlfriend's sex and curled it upwards. Immediately after, Lexa cried out as pure ecstasy ripped through her body.
Before anything could be said, Clarke's phone started ringing. The blonde groaned and reluctantly pulled away and grabbed her device off of her nightstand.
"I'm sorry, it's my mom." she said and answered. "Hey, mom."
She walked around to the other side of the bed and flopped down, taking a cookie and popping it in her mouth. Lexa followed suit.
"Yeah everything's fine. How's Thelonious?...Oh no. How's Wells handling it?...Okay, well it's good that you two are there. He doesn't have anyone else...Of course I'm going to see Lexa today." Clarke winked at her girlfriend who was sitting next to her. "Never...Milk and cookies...Yes I promise...love you too, mom. Tell dad I'll text him...K bye."
The blonde hung up and shook her head.
"What did she say?"
"She said that her friend probably won't make it. He's really sick."
"What's wrong with him?"
"Cancer...He's been holding on for over a year. Wells is his son. Mom says he's had time to prepare so knowing that his suffering is going to end is comforting."
"They were close?"
"Extremely. Wells' mom died when he was 10: after that he and his dad formed this unbreakable bond. They were really best friends." Clarke smiled.
"Like you and Jake."
"Yeah...Exactly like that. I don't know what I'd do if I lost him."
"He's really great. I wish I grew up with a father like him."
"You have him now. He loves you."
"Yeah?"
"Definitely. He's told me on many occasions. If you don't come over enough he'll bug me about when he'll see you again. I think even my mom likes you more than she likes me. You wash your dishes and clean up after me...you have manners...you bonded over your love of prunes."
Lexa laughed and laced her fingers with Clarke's. "I love your family...and I love you."
"We love you too." The blonde grinned and leaned over to press a soft kiss on Lexa's lips.
.
.
Lexa was able to return home undetected and proceed with her regular Sunday routine with her family.
She was helping her mother clean up after dinner, her father having already gone to his study to work, and she watched the older blonde woman. Elizabeth had her normal 'everything is perfect and I'm a hard-ass look on her face...but today Lexa could see past it. Her mother was sad and in pain. The wrinkles in her brow and clenching of her jaw screamed 'mean' but the softness in her eyes and body language said the exact opposite.
"...Mom." Lexa said softly. And Elizabeth looked up, shocked at being addressed as Mom and in such a soft tone by her daughter.
"Yes, dear?" she replied just as softly.
"Do you want to...talk?"
"About what?"
"I don't know...Whatever's on your mind I guess. You look like you need to get something off your chest."
"It's nothing, dear. Nothing I can't handle."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I just had a bit of a tiff with Jenna. I don't think we've ever had a disagreement in all of our years of friendship. Well we've disagreed on things of course, but never actually fought about it."
"What did you disagree on?"
Elizabeth sighed as she put the last cup in the dishwasher. "Please Alexandra, don't worry yourself about it."
Lexa simply nodded and stayed silent for a moment before asking a question she didn't know would be a mistake. "If you don't want to talk about that, then can we talk about Tris?"
Lexa's mother froze in place and seemingly stopped breathing. Her heart ached in her chest and her knees almost gave out.
"There's nothing to talk about. She's gone home to our Lord and Savior. She's watching over us and one day after we've lived the life God has planned for us, we will see her again. Now don't ever mention my daughter's name again." Elizabeth walked out without so much as batting an eye. Leaving Lexa a bit stunned.
Elizabeth went up to her room and slammed the door behind her. Letting a tear fall down her cheek she shook her head and the rest of her body trying to compose herself. It didn't seem to work so the older woman decided to lay in bed and just rest in private. But, as she lay in her over-sized bed consumed with the pain of losing her first born, the voices of the past came flooding into her mind.
8 Years Ago
Lizzy was pacing back and forth. Waiting for our daughter to come out of her 15th surgery. If Tris could just make it through this last surgery, then there would be hope...One more surgery ever and we could start living our lives the way we're supposed to. I wanted to stop my wife from wearing her legs out since she hadn't stopped since Tris went in 3 hours ago: but I was tasked with holding our 9-year-old as she slept peacefully. She had worn herself out playing with another little girl with light brown hair that was in the waiting room with her father.
We kept little Lexie away from her older sister so she didn't have to see her while she was sick, but with the end of all this sickness it's ok to let them get close now. The door to the operating room opened and our doctor walked out. He'd been with us for the last 10 years, keeping our first born alive and helping to bring our second child into this world. I waited for that signature smile of his that let us know it went well...
But it wasn't there. He looked heart broken.
.
.
.
Lizzy cried, I cried, Lexie cried because we were crying. Our youngest child held us because we were sad and she wanted to be strong for us.
"We'll see her again." My wife said in a chant. "We'll see her again, we'll see her again, we'll see her again." she said over and over and over.
"One sweet day, we'll see her again."
Lizzy stayed by Tris's corpse for 4 hours. I could only stomach it for 5 minutes. We didn't even let Lexie see her.
While we waited in the lobby the little girl Lexie had been playing with earlier was holding her hand. And I was thankful for that child because in that moment I could barely keep myself together.
Present Day...
"I'll see her again...I'll see her again...I'll see her again." Elizabeth chanted. It was all she could do now when she relived the pain of that loss.
Questions? Comments? Concerns? General Feelings?