Sunday, June 24, 1860
The Ponderosa
"I need to de-brief her," Jack answered Hoss' question why they came. Hoss stiffened. Jack spoke to him more patiently in simpler terms. He knew Hoss was defending his wife. Jack's calm demeanor affected the other Cartwrights in his favor. "De-brief means we just want to talk to her. We need to tell her what happened since we saw her and give her the latest news. Dr. Fraiser needs to have a look at her..."
"You ain't touching her." He went toe to toe with Jack. Hoss is really huge. Hoss was a little taller at 6'4" in muscle bulk to Jack's 6'2" fit and trim frame. I didn't doubt Jack could take him, but Hoss sure would do some damage. "She's my wife now. You ain't got no call to de-anything her."
"Hoss darling, debrief means they want to explain some things to me," I held his arm to keep physical contact. "You can listen too." Hoss didn't let go of the notion they came for me. He thought it was a trick.
"Doctor?"
"Trust me, Colonel."
"Please, they are my guests. I asked them to come. This is embarrassing. Won't you please welcome them?" I appealed to him for permission to give him control. I hoped it would calm him.
"Ma'am," Jack said softly, "We have to do this fast or we'll have to do this all over again and falling off that cliff was not as much fun as you might think."
No one knew what to make of that.
"Indeed."
"We are so going to have to do this again differently. Teal'c, we leave Daniel home next loop."
"Indeed."
"I remember, Colonel." I gave him a significant look, which he understood to mean the experiment worked. I kept the knowledge of his visit after his reset.
"Good, that's good? Right?"
"Very good, sir, I kept it." I nodded indicating I kept the meds. He understood. "Hoss, allow me to go talk with Dr. Fraiser and Major Carter." Hoss gave a hard stare at Fraiser and then O'Neill. "Honey, Dr. Jackson is welcome. Isn't that right?" I asked Hoss. Hoss glowered. Pointedly, I said, "You are always welcome, Dr. Jackson."
Colonel Metcalf murmured not quite believing it. "Quite extraordinary to have so many doctors in one room, do you have many women like that?"
"Yes … and I have lots of other geeks to look after," Jack shrugged at Metcalf, who wasn't quite sure how to take it. Jack didn't take his eyes off Hoss.
"I just knowed she was a doctor, the way she fixes us up all the time." Hoss smiled down at me still holding his arm. "You could have told me. No wonder you knew all that angel medicine."
"I'm not a medical doctor, Hoss," I said quietly. "I'll explain later."
"Mr. Cartwright, your wife has a doctorate in linguistics," Daniel replied evenly to calm down my husband. "I'm a doctor of archaeology and anthropology. This lady is Dr. Samantha Carter, who has a doctorate in Astrophysics. And this is Dr. Janet Fraiser who is a medical doctor."
"Michelle, you never mentioned you were a doctor of philosophy. Should I call you Professor Cartwright?" Adam said in some pique and suspicion. In the nineteenth century, professor was a more common term for that status. Everyone calling each other 'Doctor' just added to the weirdness. "You are full of surprises today."
"Quite extraordinary," Papa said again, repeating himself. He looked to Janet, Sam, and me. He noticed the three women had short hair and two were wearing pants with strange looking gear. As far as he was concerned, they were in drag, dressed as men. The effect was pornographic for the men of the nineteenth century. Colonel Metcalf really didn't approve. Dressing like that was a sign of the extreme lower classes. The look was all over his face. Papa was horrified. It was all out of control as far as he was concerned. They were dressed in impossible costumes, loaded with weapons, some of which he recognized, but didn't know what they were. He took Hoss' alarm seriously. They all did. If Hoss insisted this vehemently that there was a threat, the others would back him up. Hoss was aggressive, close to blows. He kept eye contact with Jack in a most menacing manner. Jack kept it loose, knowing he what he would do: let the guy pound on him and try again the next loop.
Clearly aggravated, Papa kept his cool addressing O'Neill. "Hoss thinks you mean to abduct her. I must say your arrival is terribly convenient."
"Convenient? I don't understand, Mr. Cartwright. We brought help. Dr. Fraiser can examine Dr. Cartwright, find out what the trouble is, and fix it." Jack snapped his fingers. "Just like that!"
Papa came unglued. "Now see here, Colonel. You can't come in here and behave like this. You come in my house with all these strange things and weapons and demand liberties with my daughter-in-law? We already had one cavalry troop trample through here this month. I won't have it!" He roared. "You don't even look like you're in the Army!"
"Pa, I seen pictures of them before; and I saw Daniel myself. They are who they say they are."
Adam groaned again.
"I never saw you before," Daniel protested softly. "Dr. Cartwright, please explain the problem."
"Sir, with all due respect to a fellow officer, I must ask you for your identity papers." Colonel Metcalf intervened.
I began to understand what Hoss meant by the difference in my manners and theirs. I had always assumed I had good manners. We had a culture clash of major proportions. Papa was huffing, furious. To accommodate Colonel Metcalf, O'Neill pulled out some papers and handed them to Metcalf.
"Satisfied?"
Metcalf examined the documents. I moved to look at them. Jack sure had some great spooks working overtime for him. He had whatever passed for I.D. back then properly dog-eared, too. Metcalf hesitated, passing the I.D. to Papa. Adam looked over his shoulder. The huffing didn't subside that much.
"No? Okay."
Jack pulled out several letters. He handed the first one to Metcalf. Upon opening the letter, his eyes popped. Man, Jack was thorough. Scanning things into the computer is so easy these days. Jack had a letter from President Buchannan, on Presidential letterhead, commissioning our group as the new "Special Forces" with General Hammond named as chief, reporting directly to the President. Jack had this one naming him second-in-command, authorizing him to take any and all steps necessary to secure that which he deemed necessary for the defense and security of our country here or in foreign lands. Dang, Jack is thorough. Daniel probably helped. Metcalf was impressed. He let Papa read it. Papa was very impressed. Adam gave a low whistle.
"I have this for Dr. Cartwright. We got this special for you, being out here as you are." Jack handed me another envelope. "It's part of the reason we took so long to get here."
I read it and passed it on to Metcalf. The 'To Whom It May Concern' letter from President Buchannan on letterhead directed any and all members of the military and representatives of the Federal Government to give me aid and assistance without giving cause. It directed them to secure my passage with escort on demand. The letter authorized these persons to advance such funds as necessary to assist my transport to wherever I needed to go. My correspondence had the highest priority to be carried under seal and with escort in hostile lands here or abroad until it reached whatever destination. It closed with the admonition never to discuss the letter, the lady, or anything she said. I noticed the signature was slightly different. Daniel must have had two samples so it wouldn't look forged. Metcalf really was perturbed, handing it off to Papa and Adam.
"Good golly," Papa said reading that one. Adam actually compared the signatures and found them slightly different. I saw him. He notices things. Good catch Daniel!
Now the two colonels had body language completely different than before. Metcalf believed him even if it was bizarre. Jack was all business. His professional command persona is something special and … scary. He asked Papa to show it to Hoss. Adam took Hoss aside to explain it.
"Okay younger brother," Adam said softly to Hoss while handing off the letters to Little Joe. "Now do you believe they are regular people?"
"No, it just means President Buchannan knows about the angels." He beamed a smile at me as I came up to his side.
"Hoss, now may I please welcome my guests?"
"Okay, but I'm watching that Daniel feller. Got my eye on him."
"Please, Papa, let's start over?" I waved for everyone to let me talk. "Papa, I am so sorry you are offended. No one is trying to be rude. This is your house. We should respect that. Now, these are my friends, my very dear friends. May I have permission to entertain them and confer with them, sir?"
"Well, of course you can have your friends in the house. It's your home too." He allowed himself to be mollified.
"Hoss, beloved, they brought Dr. Fraiser, who is not only my doctor but my friend. I told you I'm in a bad state. I wrote to them to ask for help. No one in this village can do anything for me. Colonel O'Neill came all this way to bring her. He did the impossible once again. Wouldn't you agree I have the best friends anyone could ever have?"
"Mr. Cartwright, let me assure you, we only want to help your wife. That's why I'm here," Fraiser said with her best bedside manner. She inspires confidence even in the most unruly combat soldiers. "I know Dr. Cartwright's medical history. That makes me the best doctor to figure this out."
"Hoss, Dr. Fraiser is the best doctor I have ever known." He knew a statement like that was high praise indeed. They all did, except Metcalf. "It can't hurt for me to talk to my own doctor can it?"
"Mebbe, mebbe not." He gave Fraiser a thorough appraisal head to toe. "If'n my wife says you're a good doctor, and she would know something like that, then okay, but only in the next room."
"Thank you, Hoss," I said with relief. The tension still hung in the air. "Now, while I talk to the doctor, would you be kind enough to entertain my friends?" I looked at each of them for signs of backing down. "Papa, would you do it for me?" Our eyes met. Mine pleaded with his to do it. He decided to try to be social again.
"Let's start again." Pops said, deciding people carrying presidential orders must be important. Besides he recognized the zats they all had. "Please, won't you be seated, Colonel?" Pops cleared his throat. "I hope you will join us for Sunday dinner." There, he had extended the olive branch. Pops is a gracious host and a true gentleman, if he's not threatened. If he is, he'll shoot you as soon as look at you. You don't survive on the frontier unwilling to defend yourself and what is yours from all comers. You certainly don't hesitate. Earlier, I saw my men eye the locations of their pistols and gauge how fast they could get to a weapon. O'Neill did too.
"We didn't realize you hadn't eaten," Jack said kindly. "I apologize for our abrupt appearance. If we have offended you, we sincerely apologize, sir. Please, have your dinner. We can come back later."
"We are very sorry to disturb your meal, Mr. Cartwright," Daniel tried to make amends.
"Nonsense, we are happy to have Michelle's friends here." This time he meant it having heard the required apologies and read the extraordinary letters.
"Thank you sir," Jack sat down where Papa indicated. "You are most forgiving to us, strangers in these parts. If our manners seem short on form, I assure you our hearts are in the right place."
I never saw O'Neill that smooth. Finally. He must want something really badly. With tensions diffused somewhat, Little Joe went to tell Hop Sing to set more places for Sunday dinner. I went with Sam and Janet to the small room off the dining room to hear the story. Hoss still kept looking at Daniel.
"Hoss, come sit down," Pops told him. Hoss shook his head. He was ready to tear someone apart.
"Mr. Cartwright, we are very happy to be here." Jack said to be friendly. "Naturally, after getting separated we were very concerned."
Daniel continued for Jack. "Dr. Cartwright wrote us to tell us what nice folks you are and how happy she is. She also told us she was unwell. We came as fast as we could but this is the first opportunity. You live so very far away."
"Yes, the Territory is difficult traveling by any standards."
"Yes, the roads have been impassable all winter," Daniel added having done his research on conditions in 1860 once they knew what happened to Michelle. He knew the winter of 1860 in that region was the worst on record to date, an especially bitter season. "In fact, the roads only recently opened."
"Yes, they have a mule train making the journey but it is usually filled with supplies. Provisions have been scarce. Of course not on the Ponderosa," Pops said with pride. "Mrs. ...er… Doctor Cartwright has been well cared for, the best of everything." He decided to adopt the title because of all the others and their titles. The letters didn't hurt. Anyway, I had informed him weeks earlier. He knew.
"We are so relieved to know all is well," Daniel answered politely. Being the anthropologist, he knew nineteenth century customs better than the rest. He also knew to fill introductory conversation with profuse compliments. Daniel was observing a past come to life with absolute fascination. Daniel was in his element… except for Hoss' reaction. "We can see by her situation now that she has indeed gained a most impressive, generous, kind, family, who obviously treat her as their own. The prosperity you have achieved is phenomenal. In truth, this house is a most impressive achievement. The architecture alone is a masterful design. It bespeaks culture and hospitality. You have worked very hard to achieve all this so far on the frontier."
"My son Adam designed it to last 100 years."
Jack coughed. Daniel ignored him.
"With all the innovations, certainly it will last much longer. Michelle said that your son devised amazing protections against earthquakes."
"Yes, Major Carter is going to want to see what you did. She loves to know how things work." Jack said pleasantly. "I love what you've done with the place. I don't have the decorating gene myself."
Daniel coughed not believing what Jack just said. To cover, Daniel exclaimed over the handsome furnishings making the home so comfortable. Just having that many chairs was uncommon in the times, let alone on the frontier. Most homes had one or two. Children stood to eat or sat on the floor. The Ponderosa had many large comfortable chairs everywhere and a complete set of eight at the dining table. There was even a settee with a coffee table. However, rustic by today's standards, that house was a palace for the times, especially way out there. Hop Sing brought in spare chairs from the kitchen to fill in for the number of guests. Daniel realized the wealth that represented along with the number of books lining the walls.
"Are you telling me that woman is a major?" Colonel Metcalf sputtered.
"Yes sir, and a fine one at that."
"Sir, you have quite a collection of books," Daniel chimed in to deflect the conversation. "May I have a look later?
"Yes of course," Ben said to be a good host. He was beginning to realize these people were well spoken and not as rude as he imagined they were going to be. "It took some doing, but over time, we managed to freight these things up here." Ben launched into a description of how things were in the beginning when there was nothing. Having grown up in the 1950s on TV westerns, Jack enjoyed hearing the tale from the original pioneer himself. Daniel was fascinated to see a Victorian pioneer family in situ. Teal'c waited stoically, standing behind Jack, while listening and saying nothing.
"That was a most enjoyable story, Mr. Cartwright," Jack said with obvious pleasure. "Most impressive too, I might add."
"Well, we did our best with what we had." Pops puffed a little in false modesty. Jack appraised him realizing this was one tough shrewd man. He approved. Now that our bona fides were settled, Pops relaxed quite a bit.
"My father, Colonel, devoted twenty years of his life to build this place into a great working ranch." Adam said evenly, assessing O'Neill and the others. "I take it you are a career officer. Where are you posted?"
"My posting is 'at large' because we have to move about."
"We meaning the female Major?" Metcalf snorted. "Just how did that happen?" He looked askance at Jack.
"She earned it." Jack said quietly but firmly in a pleasant tone. "She's the smartest person I have ever met."
"A woman, indeed," the Colonel said in disbelief. "I find that very hard to believe sir."
"Oh she'll surprise you, Colonel." Jack smiled thinly. "She can also beat the crap out of most men. One time she took on a Mongol tribal chieftain and taught him a lesson he'll never forget."
Everyone stiffened.
"What Jack is saying is that Major Carter is skilled in hand to hand combat. She has had extremely advanced training. In action, she is impressive."
"As far as I'm concerned if women can get the job done," Jack paused for effect, "I need finesse more than I need brawn. I have enlisted people for that." Jack answered with some flourish.
"That's right," Daniel continued for Jack. "Now you take Dr. Hunt, er Cartwright. She is the world's foremost expert in certain dialects of ancient Egyptian and Cuneiform. Her mathematical skills combined with the language skills make her the code breaking specialist in those ancient languages."
"Dr. Fraiser is the best doctor you could ever want under fire," Jack added. "She doesn't flinch. Why Ole Doc Fraiser can do miracles."
"We've seen some pretty dang good miracles from my wife. That's a fact." Hoss exclaimed. The others echoed that sentiment. "She saved every one of us with her special abilities." Hoss eyed Jack to say he knew something.
"Major Carter can fix anything. I mean anything." Jack added. "She is also a crack sniper." Jack added to poke at Metcalf.
"Major Carter's is a formidable warrior," Teal'c added sanguinely. "As is Dr. Cartwright."
That statement raised some eyebrows. However, it was impolite to call the guests liars. Hoss got even more upset.
"You trying to say my wife knows how to fight like a man?"
"Indeed. I trained her… myself." Teal'c put on his Jaffa scary face. The men took notice. Ben was surprised. "She passed Level Two hand to hand."
"Well, a woman shouldn't have to do any of that." Metcalf huffed.
"That's for dang sure. A lady ought to be protected and be treated like a lady. The only thing she ought to do is live each moment of each day and not worry." Hoss pontificated. "I'll tear in two with these here hands the first man who doesn't treat her like a lady."
He held them up to show them how big his hands really were. Hoss had on his scary face. Jack raised his eyebrows at that statement believing it. Hoss was all right in Jack's book minus the poor grammar.
Daniel tried to diffuse the atmosphere by saying, "Mr. Cartwright, you must love her very much. She told us how much she loves you. Our friend is fortunate indeed to have a husband so strong to care for her and protect her on the frontier."
"Well shucks, any man should protect his own wife," Hoss replied. "What I want to know, Colonel O'Neill, is what in tarnation was so important that you took her out there with all that danger. Why did you have to teach her to fight like a man? She told us about getting captured. What would possess a man to take a little gal like her where you did? You tell me? I'd like to hear what was so dadburned wonderful that my wife has to suffer now."
"I'm sorry to hear she suffers," Daniel answered quickly for Jack. "What does she suffer?"
"Thunderation! You know perfectly well about her nightmares and flashbacks. You two talked about it. You refused to do anything about them. What kind of angel man are you anyway?"
"I have no idea what you are talking about." Daniel really got spooked. "Jack, what is he talking about?"
"You tell me. You were in the hallucination not me."
"What?"
"What?"
"I don't know."
"Huh?"
"Indeed," Teal'c finally said something. "I have known Daniel Jackson for four years. He has never been here. He was with us as was Dr. Cartwright until last year."
"Yes, your wife's former husband and I were good friends. I recruited your wife. We worked together two years before Teal'c came to work for us. That's five years before this last one. So I really don't know what you are saying."
"Uh huh, you came in March, this year." Hoss said suspiciously. "You going to tell me you ain't been dead? Not even once? You said you lost count it was so many times."
Adam clapped his hands to his face and rubbed his eyes. LJ was embarrassed. He started to giggle, his nervous laugh. Pops turned to look back and up at his middle son wondering what in the world got into him.
"You obviously had a very vivid dream, Mr. Cartwright. I love those kind," Jack said smiling. "I once dreamed of Mary Steenburgen but alas it was just a dream." He smirked and got a little uncomfortable from the looks of the others.
"Hoss, our guests are going to think this nonsense is hereditary. Will you please do me a favor and stop?"
"Yes sir, Pa, only because you ask me. They didn't deny it neither. So what was so important you took my wife to them places?"
"Really, that son of mine can be more stubborn than a Missouri mule." Ben tried to joke it off.
"Yes, I must confess I am curious too to know what sort of work would require women going into harm's way," Colonel Metcalf said with some pique. "These people are hardly standard Army troops."
"You have no idea how non-standard it gets."
"What Jack is saying is that our unit is comprised of unique specialists. The ...Army… provides the protection and know-how to get the specialists where they need to go and do what they have to do."
"And what do they do?"
"Study things," Jack answered cryptically. "Before we discuss any of these matters, I would like from each of you, your word that none of this goes any farther." Each of them mumbled assent.
"Protection my eye," Hoss grumbled.
"Okay, I'll admit that one was a totally blown mission," Jack said to answer the charge. "Happy now, Mr. Cartwright?"
"I'd be happier knowing what you intend to do with my wife."
"We need to talk to her about what happened when we got separated. And we brought the good doctor to help her." Jack repeated very patiently. From the background information gleaned with Ben Cartwright III, Jack knew to be very patient with Hoss who understood the world through his emotions. Hoss was afraid there was some trick to take his wife away.
"How did you get separated?" Adam asked to cover for Hoss' belligerence. He wanted to know more too after those presidential letters.
"Some bad guys were chasing us and trying to kill us. We laid down cover fire so the scientists could retreat first. Something happened to blow up right at the moment Dr. Cartwright was making her exit. We thought she made it out. We didn't realize she wasn't with us until too late. Search and rescue teams found nothing, not a trace of her."
"That's why we were so happy to get her letters," Daniel added. "We feared the worst. Knowing that she got home to America intact was a great relief. It took us some time to get back ourselves. Then winter set in."
"We had some business this way and decided to check on her." Jack finished. "After all she did invite us."
"Of course," Ben Cartwright agreed. "And you should."
"Mr. Cartwright," Jack continued in a more serious tone. "We will have to check our…bivouac for brief time after dinner. I hope we may return after that?"
"You are welcome to come back and stay the night."
"Thank you, but we wouldn't dream of putting you out on short notice. May we have your permission to bivouac on your property?"
"Certainly," Papa was confused. "Would you like us to send out some supplies?"
"Thank you, no we are fine. That is a most generous offer." Jack smiled to be nice. He has such a nice smile when he uses it.
"Colonel O'Neill, what did my daughter-in-law's efforts gain? What is your objective with all this study? She never told us."
"We need to know about ancient things." Jack thought for a moment and said, "We have a translation effort we need her to check. Kill two birds with one stone while we are here."
"We are hoping Dr. Cartwright can spot check some writings we found," Daniel continued. "It's important."
"What sort of writings?" Adam inquired to be pleasant. These people intrigued him.
"We are in the midst of working on some ruins and discovered text which is very old and very rare. Dr. Cartwright is one of the only two people in the world who knows how to read it." Daniel saw them startle. With a nod from Jack, he continued. ""Sometimes we find ruins with booby traps or locked mechanisms designed long ago to keep out tomb robbers or vandals," Daniel explained. "Dr. Cartwright is so expert that she can decipher the method even in obscure dialects." Speaking rapidly with admiration, Daniel told them, "She can do it really fast. Sometimes we find scrolls written in a kind of code. Sometimes what we need is carved in temples. She can decipher them and do it under pressure."
"Well I'll be danged." Hoss jutted out his chin and turned an eye on Adam. "I told you she was smart. I knowed it when I married her. I told you. Now do you believe me?" Jack winced on the poor grammar but liked the man instinctively. From Michelle's letters, Jack knew Hoss was a doting husband. From his talks with Ben Cartwright III, he knew the man was intuitive not book smart. That a Victorian man like Hoss would appreciate such a woman from the beginning was a surprise.
"Colonel, if I may inquire," Colonel Metcalf interposed. "What is the Army doing with ruins and ancient languages?"
"Not all battles are fought on the battlefield, Colonel." Jack said cryptically.
"Colonel Metcalf," Daniel continued. "We have discovered that the ancient peoples had extensive knowledge we do not possess today. So we are sifting through the ruins of long lost peoples in search of what may be useful before other people know what we are doing."
"Isn't that the provenance of scholars and explorers?" Ben asked with some confusion.
"Mr. Cartwright," Daniel pushed his glasses back up his nose. "Jack here has the very finest scholars in the whole world working for him. We go to the most distant lands in search of knowledge to bring it back and defend our country."
"That is most unusual," Colonel Metcalf remarked. "Are you finding anything?"
The reactions of snorts and coughs told him they were. "Oh you could say," Jack replied with a smirk. "You wouldn't believe it if we told you."
"For example," Adam demanded.
Daniel and Jack exchanged looks. Daniel answered politely. "While we are not at liberty to discuss any of this in great detail, I can say that we have discovered medical knowledge that goes far beyond anything you could imagine."
"You mean them antibiotics?" Hoss offered. Daniel and Jack hesitated.
"Yes, that's one of the most important finds," Daniel admitted cautiously. "Once we understand how to make them in quantity, we can save tens of thousands of lives every single year. Imagine curing whole epidemics and plagues. Imagine curing infections that would normally kill wounded soldiers on the battlefield. With these new drugs, those infections disappear almost overnight."
"I can imagine it," Ben said emphatically. "Dr. Cartwright used it on my gunshot wound this spring. It healed in a few days with nearly no scar." He opened his shirt to show his shoulder. Colonel Metcalf leaned over to examine it. "She did the same thing for Little Joe when he was shot by some Commancheros. Show them Joseph," Ben commanded. Little Joe unbuttoned his shirt to show his chest wound which was little more than a small scar.
"I was dying of pneumonia and the infection, burning up when Michelle started treating me with the antibiotics. Look at that," Little Joe indicated the pale scar. Colonel Metcalf looked at it as well. "I was shot with a .45 at close range, too. So was Pa."
"Impressive," Colonel Metcalf had to agree. "Medical knowledge is all well and good, but why does the Army get involved?"
"Sir, we have learned more in the last five years than the entire human race has learned in the last two hundred years." Daniel said softly and quietly so they had to strain to hear him. It added to the seriousness. "As part of our effort, Dr. Hunt with his wife, Dr. Cartwright, made extraordinary discoveries, which the world is not ready to learn. The secrets must be protected just as the scholars need protection to do the work."
"Why has no one reported these discoveries? Surely someone would have published…"
"NO! That is exactly what we don't want anyone to know. We don't want the other powers interfering with what we are gaining. What's more, we don't want the tribal powers to try to keep us from looking."
"Colonel Metcalf, this is extremely sensitive information," Jack spoke as one military man to another. "If someone talks, many more good men will die. Our country desperately needs what we are finding. I hope everyone will honor the sacrifices good people like Dr. Cartwright made with your silence." Chastened, the men in the room agreed.
"I had no idea that's what my daughter-in-law had been doing. All she said was that she went on an expedition to Egypt. She said she translated things. We knew her husband was killed. She never said what she was doing or why."
"Dr. Cartwright stayed silent and never broke even to save herself." Jack knew enough not to belabor the fact Michelle was captured. The obvious outcome was not to be spoken in those times.
"She didn't here either." Hoss nodded shortly man to man. "So she had your permission to hold on to her machines and things?"
"Yes, and she can keep them for now. She will need them to do the translation right now and perhaps in the future…with your permission of course."
"So long as she does it on the Ponderosa, she can."
"That's all we want," Daniel added. "We want to be able to send her something if we need her expertise or to come like we did today."
"That's a five by five partner." Hoss said surprising SG-1. Adam clapped his hands to his face, looking up at the ceiling. "So show me a radio."
Daniel looked to Jack who shrugged. At that moment, the women came out to join the group. Hop Sing called dinner so everyone went to the table. Jack excused himself and went to get something out of his pack.
"Um, we brought Dr. Cartwright some presents" Daniel explained. "She told us she has cravings. I hope it's okay that we brought some of her favorite foods."
"I'm sure that's very thoughtful, Dr. Jackson," Ben said with forbearance. Interrupting the family dinner was bad enough but adding food? Jack put a cold can of caffeine free Diet Coke in front of Michelle and pulled a baggie of ice cubes out of a cold pack.
"I got your message, ma'am." He plunked the ice cubes in the glass and handed her the rest of the six-pack. "I can follow orders too."
"Oh Jack! Ice cubes too?"
"Oh well, you know…"
I can't tell you how wonderful that snap sounded as I popped the top. Pouring some into a glass, I watched the bubbles fizz. "I have been craving this for almost a year." Then I swigged. "Oh man that's good!" Teal'c came with another six-pack for the rest. However, none of the others liked it.
"That tastes like medicine, Michelle," Hoss exclaimed. How do you stand it?"
I couldn't answer him because I was guzzling. He got a happy face from me. So did the others as I poured some more and drank that too. Then I had another.
"I wanted that more than life itself." I sighed happily and burped. The others were eating but the focus was on me guzzling. "What else did you bring me?"
"Mr. Cartwright," Daniel addressed Ben. "We got a request list from her, may we?"
"Sure, sure," Ben answered now as curious as the rest. Daniel got up and brought a box of pizzas. "Could we get this heated up in the oven for a few minutes?"
"Sure," Hoss took him inside. He wasn't letting Daniel out of his sight.
"You brought me pizza? I love you!"
"Two pepperoni and two with the works," Sam answered. "We also got you some other things."
Hoss and Daniel came back from the kitchen. "Um that will be ready in about five minutes. It just has to heat up. So Michelle, I heard you hated Kung Pao chicken." He grinned. I gaped.
"NO… you didn't! Where!" Teal'c arrived with a hot pack. He handed it to me as I lunged. "Oh come on, T-man, that's not fair." I was laughing as he held it off. "I have to show this to Hop Sing. I couldn't explain it." I stood up and remembered my manners. "Um, please excuse me. I need to attend to something in the kitchen." Then I ran with it.
"She's been moaning for that kung pow chicken since I met her and she found out our cook is Chinese," Hoss explained to everyone. "She gets cravings and it's always for that."
"Yes, my wife had terrible cravings when she was in a family way," Metcalf agreed just to be sociable. "Usually it involved pickles and chalk." Clearly, these people cared for the woman, however rude they were. He wasn't too sure about their "man" Teal'c either. Everyone else thought it was normal to have him there so he said nothing. Nothing about these people made any sense to him.
"Actually, there is a reason women crave chalk in Michelle's condition," Carter launched into a long scientific explanation about calcium deficiency in pregnancy. She continued about how chalk is a limestone type mineral with calcite shed from microorganisms called cocolithophores whose platelets consisted of calcium carbonate designated CaCO3,and how in the late Cretaceous Period it formed the White Cliffs of Dover but people use it now as an antacid and for calcium deficiency in osteoporosis. The other men had no idea what she was talking about. Although Jack was enjoying Carter prattle in front of Metcalf, he felt some pity for the rest.
"Blinding them with science, Carter?"
"Yes, sir, anyway, when you take…" she continued, thinking Adam and the others had a clue, mistaking their stares for rapt attention. Finally, Hoss started laughing.
"Ma'am, you sure must be a friend of my wife. You sound just like her when she gets the bit between her teeth and gallops off with her explaining. I thought she was the teachingest woman I ever did meet until now." He guffawed. "Oh yeah, someone just try to stop her, just try it." He guffawed again. "She'll run that race to the finish." He guffawed again.
"I know how you feel," Jack commiserated. "I get this every day all day from all of them."
"Does it do any good?"
Jack shrugged with a twinkle in his eyes.
"Yes, well women do tend to chatter along about having children," Colonel Metcalf snarked at Carter to put her in her place about the pregnancy talk. He didn't approve of her. "I suppose it is their nature."
Jack and Teal'c found somewhere else to look. Carter coughed. Dr. Fraiser cleared her throat. I choked on a swallow of Coke. Sam patted me on the back as I gagged.
"Colonel O'Neill, what kind of costume is that you are all wearing? I don't recall ever seeing it issued as proper Army uniforms."
"It's special for us." Jack answered succinctly. "It's called camouflage battle dress. Put us in the woods and you will never see us."
"Colonel Metcalf," I addressed him. "These patterns are experimental. By breaking up the pattern into these various color combinations, the human form no longer has the same outline nor is as visible. If you put branches with leaves in the helmet or on the arms, Colonel O'Neill could be standing few feet away in sparse underbrush and you would never see him. Sir, there are other color combinations for desert terrain. Clever, isn't it?"
"Harrumph, perhaps," Metcalf didn't want to contradict the hostess, but clearly, it didn't set well. Adam was intrigued.
"You mean to say that just by altering the colors and patterns a soldier can hide himself?"
"Yes, Adam, and I've seen a whole platoon stand in a row one behind the other under a shady tree with some random bushes nearby. All the people who stared directly at all those men didn't see them or know how many there were. They thought the platoon was a bush!"
"It's a good thing the Indians never figured that out, by golly," Papa exclaimed.
"Pa, their brown buckskins hide them well enough compared to the dark blue uniforms our Army wears. You can't miss that Army blue." He smirked at Metcalf.
"I've seen yours, Michelle," LJ said with a chuckle. "I thought they were just stained." He giggled with glee. "Did it ever work for you?"
"Plenty."
The others looked uncomfortable. Hoss had a wary look bordering annoyed and not sure. He got up to follow Daniel back into the kitchen. Luckily, Daniel returned with the pizzas and some knives.
"I'm sorry to ruin your dinner, but we brought this special for Michelle. It's called pizza." Daniel served slices all around. Hoss stared at his. "It's good, really," he encouraged.
"I don't like cheese."
"Honey," I stopped shoveling with the chopsticks from the take out container. "Try it just for me. This isn't like the stinky cheese you know." He eyed me with displeasure. His hand reached out for the Chinese take out box. "Don't eat the little red nasties …" Too late. Wow, the reaction. "Got a pepper did you? Here, eat some bread… eat sugar!" Hoss flew out of his chair and ran for the kitchen. I went back to munching the chicken, peppers, and all. "I'm sorry, not gonna share. I have been dying for this." I went back into the kitchen to eat it. They stared at me using the chopsticks.
"Perhaps now you have appeased the angry spirit of Michelle Cartwright, O'Neill."
"I hope so, T. The treasure hunt was getting on my nerves."
"Mrs. Cartwright, she says she will be back. She is helping Mr. Hoss," Hop Sing announced coming out of the kitchen. "He eat verrrry hot pepper. Mr. Hoss does not like peppers! Now Hop Sing know what Mrs. Cartwright has been plaguing him to fix. You come again. Hop Sing make you anything you want. I don't have to listen to her begging me for Kung Pao chicken no more!" He marched back into the kitchen. Poor Colonel Metcalf, he had no idea the commotion he would witness. Little Joe was laughing his head off. Adam had a mouthful of pizza with the works.
"Mmmmm, this is good," he pronounced. "She tried to make this one time, but it didn't taste like this."
"No, it was awful." Little Joe laughed heartily. "You sure made her happy today. All we hear about is pizza, Diet Coke, Kung Pao chicken, potato chips, French fries…"
"Those peppers aren't that high on the Scoville scale of intensity. Sugar water will neutralize the effect." Fraiser explained with concern, checking the kitchen door. "The heat from peppers is from a chemical called capsaicin, which sticks to the taste buds. We test capsanicinoids by High Performance Liquid Chromatography, or HPLC. In this process, the capsaicinoids are extracted. They are then placed in the HPLC device and analyzed. The HPLC can "see" the amount of capsaicinoids in the pepper, as well as differentiate the individual varieties. This analysis is then transposed into the better known Scoville unit." Dr. Fraiser noticed they hadn't returned and commented, "Her husband should be over his pepper by now. I hope he isn't allergic to the peanuts."
"Allergic?" Adam asked. Fraiser launched into a long medical explanation. Carter joined in with more details. By then Papa was smirking into his napkin and trying to catch Jack's eye. Understanding passed between them. "I see what you mean, Colonel. I hope all that education doesn't get in the way of their thinking."
"Thank you! I like that. May I use it?" The two men sighed looking at their charges, Papa at Adam and O'Neill at his team.
"I brought epi pens for anaphylactic shock, sir." Fraiser continued hardly missing a beat.
"I thought Adam and Michelle were bad. You say you have more?" Papa asked in sympathy. "How do you manage?"
"It's like herding cats." He chucked his head his people. Papa chuckled.
"Maybe I should…" Janet continued speaking more to herself. However, both Hoss and Michelle came back in. Hoss was wiping his face, which was beet red.
"Phew! That there was the hottest dang pepper I ever did eat. Don't nobody try to eat what she's got." he sighed sitting down. "Confound it! That stuff will strip the paint off the barn!"
"Okay, I have to try some," Little Joe announced. He got a morsel without a pepper. "Pretty good, like something we ate at Jimmy Chang's party. So Hoss, liking your angel food? It's heavenly, isn't it?" He snickered.
"Joseph," Papa said in his warning tone.
"I'll fix you later, Little Brother."
Michelle joined the discussion about food allergies and references to them in ancient texts. Daniel was fascinated, adding finer points of obscure references in texts he had read. Michelle and Daniel got into a heated discussion about the better translation of some specific Mankura hieroglyphs, which Daniel tried to explain to the others. Michelle got some paper to draw the glyphs and argue the point. Daniel without thinking pulled out a ballpoint pen and drew, handing her a spare.
Each Cartwright and their guest had varying reactions to the scene playing out between the strange guests and Michelle. Ben stared at the ballpoint pens needing no ink. He listened to the passion of the discussion between the friends. Obviously, these people knew each other intimately and cared about her. He was satisfied. Watching the byplay, Metcalf came to the understanding that these were serious scholars. By their intensity, he knew they weren't performers there to convince him her goods were really hers. They were doing it for themselves. Metcalf might not understand or approve of their manners, but he was a shrewd commander and a good judge of people. Drawn into the discussion with all the ideas flying around, Adam was trying to keep up and couldn't. He did enjoy the idea that this was table conversation, realizing how much he missed this sort of thing from his college days. Little Joe at first found it amusing until he realized these people were really smart. Little Joe was an intelligent young man if a little wild. Not willing to pursue any further education, he got a glimpse into what an education could do for people. Hoss smiled broadly and ate, loving every minute and not understanding any of the discussion. Certain his wife was happy, he was happy. Finally, his family could see that there were more people just like his strange wife. He loved watching the others have to deal with it. It was an important point for him to prove to his family he wasn't an idiot marrying this stray woman with such confounded peculiarities. Observing Adam, Jack realized Adam must have been a thorn in her side not willing to yield his place as the family intellectual to her. The look on his face showed a certain wistfulness. Jack knew Adam was the college graduate and most likely able to appreciate the discussion yet he was removed from what he wanted to join. As usual, Jack watched everyone else, observing the group dynamic to figure out Michelle's situation. He realized she needed that discussion to establish her credentials.
"I understand you went to college, Mr. Cartwright," Jack said to know a little more about the man from his way of responding.
"Yes, I'm an architect."
"Something amusing?"
"Oh, it's fun watching my sister-in-law in her element. She keeps us on our toes."
"Are you a West Point man, Colonel O'Neill?" Metcalf demanded. "I was at the Point, Class of 1832. I don't remember seeing you there."
"I wasn't." Jack said simply. "I got my degrees elsewhere." Daniel was so engrossed in the discussion he didn't hear it to cover for O'Neill. But I did. Interrupting, I gushed.
"Okay, I have to say that you are the most wonderful friends. This is amazing. I mean really amazing. You went to a lot of trouble for me. I really really appreciate it. Thank YOU!" I choked back a burp from the coke and popped another open.
"Oh, one more thing," Jack chucked his head at Teal'c who went to get the treat. "Cherry Garcia by Ben & Jerry's."
"Oh Jack… I think this is love… So, why were you so mean to me all the time?"
"I was not."
"Were too."
"Was not."
"Were."
"Not. Anyway, I just made up for it." Everyone laughed. I started to cry.
"I missed you all so much." I sniveled into my Cherry Garcia. "I missed this too," I grinned through my tears and shoveled in a spoonful. Another quart made the rounds of the table. The family pronounced the premium ice cream exceptional.
"We brought potato chips and peanut butter but that can wait," Fraiser told her. "Cassie sent you her chocolate walnut cookies you and Daniel like so much."
Talk went to Fraiser's adopted daughter from another planet, minus the other planet information.
"Madam," Colonel Metcalf interrupted with displeasure. "Are you saying you have a daughter at home but you are off gallivanting around the world looking for treasure?"
"My daughter is well cared for, Colonel. She has the best of everything because I make so much money doing this I can afford to send her to the best schools and bring her to our…fort… from time to time. Second of all, we are not looking for treasure. We are looking for the means to defend this country."
"And what does your husband have to say about that!"
"Nothing, he's not my husband anymore because he didn't think a woman could be a doctor. Cassie wants to be a doctor too. She's absolutely brilliant."
"Colonel Metcalf, Janet adopted Cassandra when Colonel O'Neill found her as the only survivor of a whole village wiped out by a very evil warlord. All of us take a keen interest in her well-being. You might say she has a large family looking after her."
"Most commendable, I'm sure Dr. Fraiser." Kindness and charity impressed Papa. It's where Hoss got his rescuing streak. "You too, Colonel. A whole village, you say?"
"Yes."
"Happen often?"
"More than we like."
There was some awkward silence. Daniel cleared his throat. "I'd like to propose a toast to the Cartwrights, who are our kind and generous hosts and who gave refuge to our dear friend, and to her new husband may they have a long and happy life together."
"Here here!"
The guests drank up. Teal'c of course had water. I happily guzzled Diet Coke and partly stifled a burp. Fortunately, Colonel Metcalf declared it was time for him to move on since he had business in Carson City the next day. Jack made a point of walking him out with Papa, probably to reinforce the notion of the old guy keeping his mouth shut. He came back in looking a little satisfied. No doubt about it. Jack was in professional mode. We had better get cracking.