Disclaimer: I don't own Kyou Kara Maou!

A/N: No, this has nothing to do with baseball. But there is food porn, neko cosplay, and bondage, so be warned. XD I don't know if this is technically a 'Wolfram-seducing-Yuuri,' but this is the first chapter I've posted that directly follows the one before it. It is another birthday fic, but this one was requested by TheMoonAndStarsLove. Thanks to everyone who's given me ideas, by the way! It might take me a while to get them done, but I will try! And you can keep them coming if you like! :)

Three Strikes and You're Out

"Conrad, what are you supposed to get a fiancé on the first birthday you spend with them?"

Conrart looked like he was trying to hold back an endearing chuckle. "Are you referring to Wolfram?"

"Yes," Yuuri groaned. "How did you know?"

He just shook his head at Yuuri's lack of inconspicuousness, eyes twinkling. "I think the better question is, why are you asking me?"

"Well, you're his brother, of course," Yuuri responded.

"That may be true, but most of the time I've found that Wolfram doesn't even recognize our relation," he smiled, "so I hardly think he would deem me qualified to give you advice on the matter. Don't you think Wolfram himself would be the best person to talk to about this?"

"Yeah, but every time I ask Wolf what he wants for his birthday, he just says me," Yuuri sighed. "And then we start making out and then, well...you know." He laughed in embarrassment and rubbed the back of his head, blushing slightly.

Conrart paused for a moment to compose his thoughts.

"...I am sincerely happy that you came to me instead of Gwendal about this," he decided.

"Well, I already knew what Gwendal would say."

Conrart looked surprised. Did he really come off as the kind of guy who wouldn't mind hearing about his little brother's sex life? Sure, he understood teenage hormones. Hell, he still remembered when he and Yozak had first discovered theirs and started fooling around practically nonstop together. But that didn't exactly mean that he wanted to know the details of what his godson was doing with his little brother.

"Obviously he'd just tell me to knit something," Yuuri continued, causing the older man to smile again in relief at Yuuri's naivete.

"Yes, there's that, and then there's the fact that he'd kill you if he found out you were corrupting our baby brother," Conrart added truthfully.

"Baby?" Yuuri scoffed. "He's almost 83!"

"He's still a baby to us, no matter how old he gets."

"Yeah, well, I hardly think I'm the one doing the corrupting," Yuuri muttered under his breath, thinking back with a blush to the last time Wolfram had attacked him. For an uke, it sure did seem like Wolf was in control most of the time...

Yuuri jumped back into the pillows as the crack of a whip resounded throughout the room.

"W-where did you get that?" he gulped.

Wolfram just smirked. "Mother has things like this hidden all over the castle."

Oh, great. Now they were using Lady Celi's toys.

"You're going to be my slave tonight, Yuuri."

"Your Highness, are you all right?"

Yuuri realized with a start that his nose had started to bleed. Just a little, but still enough to be completely mortifying. He immediately slapped a hand to his face. "Yeah, I'm fine! And stop calling me that!" he yelled, running off at a frantic pace to go clean it up.

"Maybe you should talk to the Great Sage about this," Conrart called after him in suggestion.

Maybe he should. This conversation had gotten way too awkward.

"Well, Shibuya, it sounds like that's what he wants."

Yuuri rolled his eyes. "He already has it, every night practically."

"Every night?" Murata raised his eyebrows. "I'm surprised you don't look more exhausted."

Yuuri glared at him. "I have plenty of stamina, Murata," he shot back defensively. "And anyways, Wolfram only says that to get me in bed. That's not what he wants for his birthday." Geez, for a wise man, this guy sure was stupid sometimes.

"I don't know, Shibuya. I still think it gives us something to work with," he insisted.

Yuuri sighed. "You don't get it. He went completely out of his way for me on my last birthday. If I don't do the same for him, then he'll think I don't care as much."

"You're just reading into things," Murata laughed. "He went out of his way because he was trying to get laid."

"No, it was because he loves me," Yuuri snapped back. "Like sleeping with him gives me an excuse to slack off!" He groaned in frustration. "Wolfram will kill me if I don't act like a proper fiancé on his damn birthday."

"Then act like one during the day, and after dinner, I'll sneak you away so we can prepare the big surprise."

Yuuri looked extremely skeptical.

"Trust me. He'll love what I have in mind."

"Yuuri Shibuya!"

Yuuri stopped in his tracks, completely frozen in fear. All of the food on his tray thankfully remained intact.

"How dare you get out of bed like that and leave me to wake up all alone on my birthday!"

He blinked. "W-what? But I was getting you breakfast. I thought that's what I was supposed to do."

Shit, not five seconds in and he'd already messed up.

"That part comes after I wake up," Wolfram huffed. "First you're supposed to give me a good morning and happy birthday kiss." He crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"I didn't get one of those!" Yuuri protested. "How am I supposed to know what to do if you don't show me?"

"Fine then. Get your ass over here and I will," Wolfram smirked.

Yuuri set the tray of food down carefully and climbed back into bed beside him, cradling Wolfram as the boy snuggled up into his arms. A pair of soft lips pressed against his own, and the two continued kissing and cuddling for a good few minutes until Wolfram's hunger kicked in.

"Will you feed me, Yuuri?" he purred.

Yuuri blushed and nodded, grabbing a small banana from the tray he'd prepared. He peeled it completely and gently pushed one end into Wolfram's waiting mouth.

He expected Wolf to just bite off the end like any normal person, but that didn't happen. Instead, he locked onto Yuuri's eyes and raised his eyebrows suggestively, sucking the rest of the banana into his mouth.

Yuuri's breath hitched, and he watched shamelessly as Wolfram gulped the entire fruit down his throat without choking on it at all. How was that even possible?

"No more gag reflex," Wolfram smiled proudly. "I've had a lot of practice, haven't I?"

"M-mhmm..." Yuuri's cheeks burned in embarrassment at the memories. He averted his eyes and moved on, dipping a spoon into a cup of yogurt, then pressing it to Wolfram's lips. "Open up," he prodded.

Wolfram did as commanded, but Yuuri didn't put the spoon to his tongue. Instead, he made a mess with it, running it down Wolfram's jaw so it left a trail of sticky white substance on his face.

"Oops."

"Yuuri!" Wolfram blushed and mumbled, "Clean it up."

Yuuri smirked and set the spoon back down, then cradled Wolf's face in his hands. He licked up the mess he'd made very slowly, sucking on the last little bit of it as he leaned the other boy down against the mattress.

Wolfram shivered beneath him, moaning softly. "Yuuri..."

There was a soft knock on the door.

"Happy birthday, Daddy!" Greta's voice rang out. "Can I come in?"

Both boys' eyes shot open, and Wolfram forcefully shoved Yuuri off of him. The double black fell back onto the tray of food, which in turn went flying. Juice soaked his pajamas (not to mention the bed), and several glasses and cups crashed and broke on the hard wooden floor.

Wolfram was the first one to compose himself and answer the door. He completely ignored Yuuri and the mess he had made, swinging Greta up into his arms and kissing her on the cheek. "Thank you, princess."

Greta giggled as he set her back down and she observed her other father sprawled out among the food, groaning in pain. "Why is Yuuri on the floor?" She suddenly got a hopeful look in her eye and added, "Am I going to get a new baby brother?"

Yuuri and Wolfram's eyes simultaneously shot wide open again, and since Yuuri looked like he was completely shell-shocked, Wolfram was the one forced to answer their eagerly awaiting daughter.

"What do you know about that?" he demanded.

Greta just smiled up at him innocently. "Everyone said I should wait to say happy birthday because you and Yuuri might be sleeping or making a baby. How do you make babies, Daddy?"

Yuuri's face was now pure white, and he looked like he was going to be sick. Wolfram, on the other hand, steeled himself and resignedly prepared to give The Talk.

"Well, when two people love each other...," he began.

Yuuri let out a strangled cry, leapt up, and ran over to slap a hand across Wolfram's mouth.

"W-when two people love each other very much, they pray to Shinou, and if he thinks they're responsible enough, he sends a Boney to carry a baby to them," Yuuri improvised.

Wolfram bit down on Yuuri's hand, causing him to yelp in surprise and draw it back. "Oh, please. She's 11 years old, Yuuri. Not five."

Yuuri threw his arms protectively around their daughter and covered her ears. "She's still my baby!" he cried. "And I say 11 is way too young for us to give The Talk!"

Greta giggled and pushed his arms away. "Daddy! What talk?" She took his face in her hands and pressed their noses together. "Don't worry, I don't want Shinou to send me a baby. But I want him to send you one!"

Wolfram smirked. "Yuuri, I think you'd better start praying harder," he teased.

Yuuri's face turned bright red. "O-okay, that's enough! Why don't you go get dressed, Greta? Your dad picked out something very pretty for you to wear on his birthday."

Greta agreed cheerfully and ran off, leaving Yuuri to finally breathe a sigh of relief.

"I can't believe you were just going to tell her!" he burst out after he'd calmed himself a little.

Wolfram shrugged. "Would you rather wait for Anissina to do it? She understands female bodies better than we do."

Yuuri's mouth dropped open. "She'd better not tell Greta before she's ready!" he exclaimed in horror.

"You mean before you're ready?" Wolfram murmured, kissing Yuuri gently to calm him down a little more.

"She's just a baby," he pouted.

Wolfram shook his head and laughed. "You should've stopped to think about adopting a kid before you went all horny teenager on me. She could easily overhear us or even walk in on us if you aren't careful enough."

Yuuri looked pained. "Shit. I guess tonight should be the last night we have sex in our room."

"Oh?" Wolfram raised an eyebrow in feigned surprise. "We're having sex tonight?"

"Like you wouldn't get any on your birthday," Yuuri muttered, blushing.

"Remember, my uncle is here. You need to be on your best behavior," Wolfram was chiding his fiancé as they made their way to dinner that evening. They'd already done cake and presents with Greta, but they'd both agreed that the dinner party would be too boring for a child her age.

Yuuri laughed at his worry. "Wolf, relax. I'm pretty sure he likes me now."

"He approves of you and isn't waiting for you to slip up, but that doesn't mean you should embarrass me," Wolfram corrected.

"So no groping you under the table or whispering dirty things in your ear?" Yuuri teased him.

The blonde stopped in his tracks and turned to glare at the double black's laughing face. "Yuuri Shibuya, don't make me smack you," he warned.

Second time that day he'd heard his full name. But since baseball had taught him that still had one more strike before he was out, Yuuri retorted, "We're already engaged," and winked back at him.

"I'll slap your right cheek," Wolfram clarified through gritted teeth.

"Shouldn't that seal our marriage or something?"

"Oh, do you honestly think people go around slapping each other in wedding ceremonies?" Wolfram scoffed. "That's undignified."

"How is slapping someone a dignified custom of proposal, then?!"

In a flash, Wolfram had him pinned against the wall. "Look, I really respect this man, and I don't want you acting like some stupid, low-class human around him! Do I make myself clear?"

Yuuri pursed his lips. "What if I slip up? Do I get punished with your sexy whip?"

His dark eyes were laughing, and Wolfram growled back in annoyance, stomping on Yuuri's foot for good measure. The boy let out a cry as Wolfram turned on his feel and continued on without him.

Yuuri quickly limped after him. "Wait a minute, Wolf! I promise I'll behave!"

But it was harder to keep that promise than he thought, Yuuri realized with chagrin as he sat next to Wolfram at dinner. He was forced to make small talk with the 10 nobles while inwardly dreading his other plans for the evening. And Murata was being his usual helpful self about it. Every time Yuuri finally started to relax, he would make comments like, "So Lord von Bielefeld, has Shibuya here done anything special for your birthday yet?"

To which Wolfram would reply proudly, "He brought me breakfast in bed."

And then Murata would just make a small noise of disapproval and reply, "That's all? Well, what a shame."

This kind of thing went on for some time until Yuuri, fidgeting and agitated, rose to his feet and announced, "I'm sorry, but please excuse me. I'm not feeling too well, and I think I should retire for the evening." He placed a hand on Wolfram's shoulder and smiled. "It's your birthday though, so please have fun for the rest of the night, okay?"

"Your Majesty, are you all right? Should I send Gisela to attend you?" Conrart asked in concern.

"Oh, no, that's really not necessary," Yuuri laughed nervously. "Just an upset stomach is all. I think I ate too much cake earlier."

"Then you should quit acting like such a wimp."

The comment was muttered low enough that only Yuuri could hear it, but it sounded full of betrayal and loathing. The double black took one glance at his fiancé's face and gulped. He hoped with his entire being that his surprise would make up for this. Otherwise, he was in deep shit.

"I'll help His Majesty back to his room," Murata volunteered. "If he seems worse than he's claiming, I'll get Gisela. But don't worry, I'm sure I'll be back shortly."

"Yeah, and I'm really sorry for all the trouble," Yuuri added. "I promise I'll make it up to you later, Wolfram." His eyes were pleading.

"Hmph." Wolfram turned his back to the boy and refused to acknowledge him any further. The nerve!

"I can't believe I'm doing this."

"You look great," Murata teased him.

"Oh, shut up!" Yuuri wrung his hands as Murata tied the blindfold around his eyes.

"Calm down. It isn't like you can back out now. You'd be mauled instead of molested," the sage chuckled.

"You know, I really wish you'd let me tie my own blindfold after you left," Yuuri remarked uncomfortably. "No offense, Murata, but it's kind of creepy when I can't see what you're doing."

"Oh, don't worry, Shibuya. You're a good looking guy and all, but I have to admit that Lord von Bielefeld is more my type."

There was a shocked silence before Yuuri opened his mouth to cuss Murata out severely and the boy gagged him with another bow. Yuuri struggled against his bonds to no avail. Damn that son of a bitch!

"Well, now all that's left to do is wait. Don't go too crazy in here. I'm sure your fiancé will be around soon to yell at you. Good luck, Shibuya."

More muffled cursing tried to fight its way out of Yuuri's mouth, and Murata left with the satisfaction of a job well done.

"You little wimp, I don't care how sick you are, you had no fucking right to leave me alone at dinner!" Seething, Wolfram swung open the door to their room and accidentally crushed a gift box under his feet. He stopped to pick it up in curiosity, only slightly distracted from his rampage.

There was a note attached to it:

Wolf - put this on and meet me in bed for your second surprise.

Yuuri

He undid the bow and pulled out a sheer white négligée with fur lining on the top. Something else fell to the ground, and he bent to pick it up. A headband with little cat ears on it.

Wolfram's face turned bright red. Yuuri had never bought him lingerie before. And cat ears, huh? That was kind of kinky. Did he want Wolfram to bleat like a cat, too? Or mew like a dragon, like cats supposedly did on Earth?

Embarrassed yet somewhat eager, Wolfram slipped out of his clothes and into the transparent garment. It was clearly cut for a woman; the way it formed to his figure gave the illusion that he just had extremely small breasts. But he didn't mind that kind of thing, if it would turn Yuuri on.

He made his way to their bed, slinking over with cat-like movements, and climbed in without making a sound.

That is, until his eyes fell on his fiancé.

The boy was bound and gagged present style, with big red bows wrapped around his eyes, mouth, wrists, ankles, and...waist. He seemed to have felt the bed move, and he began to tremble slightly in Wolfram's presence.

"Yuuri?" the blonde gasped in shock.

"Mmm-mm!"

Soft hands untied the gag around his mouth and he let out a sigh of relief. "Wolfram?"

"Yes, it's me."

"Happy birthday," Yuuri blushed. "Y-you said this was what you wanted..."

Lips slammed into his without warning, and Yuuri was crushed against the mattress as Wolfram's hands felt down his body and he expressed his thanks with his tongue.

"Which bow should I untie next?" Wolfram purred into his ear.

"B-blindfold?" Yuuri suggested hopefully, a little out of breath.

Wolfram chuckled softly. "But then you'll know what I'm going to do..." His hands shot down to the bow at Yuuri's waist, untying it in a flash and beginning to work him over slowly.

"Fuck!" He bit down on his tongue, struggling against his restraints. He couldn't see, he couldn't move. He was completely powerless.

His breathing grew heavier and more belabored as Wolfram had his way.

"Guess I should take your blindfold off now," Wolfram chuckled as the two lay side by side, panting.

"That would be nice," Yuuri murmured in amusement. Everything else was free, so he pulled Wolfram closer to him and snuggled against his warmth.

"After all, you bought me this lingerie and you didn't even get a chance to see it on me."

"Wait...what?"

The blindfold fell from his eyes, and Yuuri blinked in confusion as he took in Wolfram's sexy yet adorable neko cosplay.

"I didn't know you had a cat fetish," Wolfram purred, nudging Yuuri with his nose and making little mewing sounds (he had decided that Yuuri might have forgotten cats made a baa noise in Shin Makoku, and he didn't want to risk sounding stupid when he was trying to be alluring).

Yuuri's cheeks, which had already been somewhat red from exertion, darkened even more in color. "W-Wolf, that's adorable," he blushed, "but I, um...didn't buy it..."

"You made it?" Wolfram gasped. "Yuuri, I had no idea you could sew!"

"N-no, no, no!" Yuuri protested. "Don't get the wrong idea! What I mean is, I've...never seen it before."

A frown ruined Wolfram's cheerful demeanor. "What do you mean you've never seen it before?" he demanded sharply. "If this is another of your jokes, I don't find it very funny. You left this outfit at the door for me, with a note saying to put it on and get in bed with you. In case you forgot, you even put your name on it, Yuuri."

"What the..." Yuuri's eyes narrowed. "Murata."

"What does the Great Sage have to do with anything?" Wolfram hissed.

"He must have left you that little gift to...speed things along in bed tonight. He did, um, help...prepare me for you, after all," Yuuri explained a bit nervously.

Wolfram's eyes glinted. "He did what?"

"I mean, I couldn't have tied my own hands!" he chuckled halfheartedly.

"You let another man see you naked?!" Wolfram was so pissed, he was shaking.

"He just helped me tie the bows for you! That's all!" Yuuri insisted. "Besides, it's nothing he hasn't seen before. We bathed together all the time back on—" He stopped and gulped, realizing a little too late that that was a very, very, very wrong thing to say right now.

"Yuuri Shibuya!" Wolfram's screech echoed through their room, and a bright, hot flame almost got him right in the face. "You filthy, worthless cheater!"

A/N: I'm thinking of turning that random flashback with the whip into another chapter. If I can keep it from getting too M-rated. XD What do you think?