Author's Note: Not much to say except for I hope you enjoy your stay on this page and I hoped you enjoyed your journey through the thirteen other pages containing angst ridden boys, blood, mind-screwing and general mayhem.

This Little Light of Mine

Axel and Lexaeus were sent out by Xemnas to scout the areas Luxord and Xaldin were sent to. If Riku or Sora was spotted they were to radio back to Xemnas straight away.

The General had stood with Saix at his side, the blue haired soldier staring with a fixation at him. Axel ignored Saix though the guy made him grind his teeth. Axel took a little pleasure in the General's slightly uncomfortable state. Xemnas' tone was curt and the small bags under his eyes suggested he had not slept well last night. With his top soldiers disappearing and his numbers dwindling, it only made sense that the strain was starting to show. Axel wished there was some way to drown the man in stress. Make him swell with it and let stress burst his veins and leave Xemnas as a dried out husk. Saix didn't look like he was as strained as Xemnas. Axel guessed there was a little more pressure to being number one and the only number one in the Organization. Xemnas didn't share power well and Axel couldn't help but smirk at his thought that Xemnas must have been an only child.

Axel was supposed to venture to Twilight Town while Lexaeus scoured the farmhouse, and he almost did head for the town to speak with Naminé, but fear prickled in the back of his mind. Perhaps Sora hadn't been well enough to travel and Lexaeus would stumble across a weak Riku as the boy's guard.

Axel followed the man's large footprints in the snow while he kept far enough back to not actually see the other solider. The Organization uniforms were great cover for night missions or dark surroundings, but when the trees stood bare and dead with icicles for leaves the uniform was a handicap.

Axel was following the tracks with eyes trained to the ground and snorting out steam, when he heard an odd screeching noise deeper in the woods. His head lifted and he bolted towards the source of the scream, unmindful of the noise he was making. He was running through a small clearing when he sputtered to a stop and did a double take. There was no one there and if his mind wasn't stuck in the past he would have heard the muffled yelling up ahead.

The glade Axel stood in was small and, though everything was cloaked with snow, he knew a river was nearby. He could even have been standing on it, the stream sleeping in a frozen state just waiting for warmer weather. In fact he saw his feet submerged to the ankles at the edge of the river and the summer sun dappled his legs.

He heard a laugh and turned to see Roxas standing a couple feet away by the edge of the river. Axel waved and Roxas just laughed as he bent his knees and leapt for the deepest part of the river. Axel yelled and waved for him to stop, the stream was deep and flowing strongly, but Roxas sunk with a single neat ripple.

A real life splash brought Axel out of his reverie. Somewhere up ahead someone had broken through the ice and if that someone hadn't gotten out already, there could have been a person floating just beneath where Axel stood.

Axel found the hole in the ice as well as red speckles and kicked up snow. The spaces between the trees, where there was evidence of a fight, left tracks undecipherable. However, a trail of two sets of prints led away from the mangled mess of snow. The tracks of the two led out of the woods to the east.

Axel followed them, but broke from the trail when he realized the two people were headed to Twilight Town and away from the farmhouse.

He wanted to check on the farmhouse, though he was almost one hundred percent sure that it would be vacant now. When he got to the house he noticed that most of the windows were boarded up, but the door was wide open. Axel stood on the porch looking into the dark interior as his heart beat in his throat. Surprise widened his eyes when he thought he saw a flicker of movement inside. His lips became a snarl and he drew his knife from his belt as he quietly entered the house.

The house moaned as if it was sad to be empty. Axel peeked into the kitchen but saw nothing and no one. His muscles were starting to loosen and he had lowered his knife when he saw something move in the corner of his eye in the living room. Axel shuffled silently down the hall, knife gripped tightly and blade preceding any other part of his body. At the end of the hall he waited to see movement again and sprung...at nothing. There was no one in the living room, just furniture. Through a half boarded up window the branches of a tree swayed and shifted shadows around the room.

Axel laughed and it echoed throughout the living room.

"That's all it was? Just shadows from a tree? Man, I haven't been scared of that kind of thing since..." Axel paused and looked to the floor.

Shadows, lightening and the dark were just as threatening to Axel when he was a kid even though he refused to admit it. He was even less likely to admit his discomfort when around his friends. In fact he was braver when around Roxas and, likewise, Roxas was more bolstered against childhood fears when around Axel.

The changing shadows of the branches in the dim room reminded Axel of a day long ago. The living room would have been even darker than it was now and the ankle deep snow would have been even deeper rainwater. There was thunder loud enough to rattle the dishes in their cupboards and when the lightening didn't blaze through the windows, the small gas lantern was the only light in the room.

He and Roxas sat on the couch trying to play cards by the lamp light, but the threat of a flood had them both worried. Sora and Riku were working outside to prevent the water from getting in.

Sora had come inside to grab another lamp. He was soaked and had mud up to his knees, but he smiled and said the rain was letting up. Axel had offered to help but Sora just shook his head.

"Seriously, Axel, Riku and I have got this. And if you come out Roxas will want to come out," Sora said as he lit the lamp, "I'd prefer my little brother not get sick."

"No offence, Sora, but I've got a couple years on you," Axel quipped. He leaned casually in the doorway to the living room. Roxas sat on the couch behind him and Sora stood by the door.

"I know, but this is my house. It wouldn't be right to have you and Riku be the only ones working."

"That's nice and all, but I'll start to feel useless just sitting in here all snug and dry."

Sora laughed as he kicked the door open with his booted foot. The rain was letting up but the thunder persisted.

"Axel, with your height you'd be a walking lightening rod out there. And I wouldn't call you useless," Sora smiled as he pulled his hood on, "With how my brother talks about you, he would never stand for that kind of talk."

"Oh no?" Axel asked with genuine curiosity and stood straighter in the doorway. He looked over his shoulder and caught Roxas' gaze. The boy averted his eyes and went back to looking at his cards.

"I should get back outside. Riku always takes too much on by himself," Sora said as he nodded to a lone figure wandering in the rain. When he turned back to Axel, Sora was blushing, "Just don't tell Roxas I said anything about him talking to me about you."

"Oh he's said more about me?"

"No, well, yeah. You're his best friend, but he hasn't said anything bad, he just – I should be getting back to Riku," Sora finished quickly and ducked outside to where the pelting rain would cool his cheeks.

Axel smirked at Sora's back and turned around to return to his friend.

Roxas stared down at his cards and appeared unfazed as Axel settled down on the couch, a little closer than before.

"It's your turn," Roxas said casually as he picked at his cards.

Axel just hmmed and picked up his cards. Roxas thumbed his own hand and let his eyes wander to his best friend's face. After his talk with Sora a few nights ago, his heart seemed to beat a little faster with suspicion when Sora and Axel were left to talk alone. Roxas ran a finger across his ace of hearts and wondered if Axel had meant to press his leg against his own, or if maybe Axel was just being in-your-face and in-your-space, or if maybe the storm had gotten to him, or maybe Sora had said something and Axel was teasing him. The thunder grumbled low.

"I'm not sure what to play. Let me take a look at your cards," Axel said and leaned his chin on Roxas' shoulder.

"H-hey!" Roxas protested and his shoulders immediately tensed. He folded his cards and placed them face down on his lap. He neglected to shrug Axel off him though, enjoying his friend's face being so close to his own, even if the bastard was cheating. Axel retracted and with a pleased smile he threw down a card.

"Keep your eyes on your own hand," Roxas scolded and jokingly kicked Axel.

"Well, if you're so concerned about cheating why don't we make rules to protect against it?"

"There are rules against cheating. You just ignore them."

"Do I? My bad," Axel said with mock sincerity.

Roxas just shook his head as he held his cards closer to his chest to look through them. Slyly, he hoped that Axel would try to snake his head around to see his cards now. He would have to get even closer. To his disappointment Axel drew back and covered his eyes.

"Alright, how 'bout when it's the other person's turn you have to close your eyes," Axel said with a hand over his eyes and his lips in a smirk.

"Why?" Roxas asked suspiciously.

"Because you're complaining about cheating."

Roxas threw down a card and Axel opened his eyes. He stared expectantly at Roxas and even mimicked sliding his lids closed as he waited for his friend to close his eyes. Roxas just shook his head.

"No, really. Why should I close my eyes?"

"This feels like déjà vu. Do I have to explain it again?"

"Yeah 'cause I don't know what you're really up to."

"What I'm really up to?"

"Yeah. What are you really up to?"

"God, Roxas, you really are really blond."

"Really?"

"Really really."

"Wait, why am I really blond?" Roxas asked confused now.

Axel chuckled in a mischievous sort of way, slapped his cards down on the table and turned to Roxas.

"Because," Axel said in a slow way that put emphasis on each word, "I am flirting with you."

Axel clapped a hand over Roxas' eyes and kissed his best friend.

"And you're not taking the hint," Axel said and kissed him a second time before letting the boy see again.

The house groaned loudly and Axel turned his eyes to the hallway. Still caught up in the memories of the past, Axel thought he saw Roxas' silhouette bolt down the hall and to the stairs.

"Roxas!" Axel screamed and tore after the shadow. He thought he saw his friend run up the stairs so he pursued, tripping on a tool box on his way up and landing painfully against the stairs.

"Roxas!" Axel yelled, running into Roxas' room once he had picked himself up. He whipped his gaze around the room searching for the nothing he had been chasing. Eventually he came to realize that there was no one inside the house but himself.

Anger burned inside his chest. He was furious with himself and with the Organization. They had driven him to this, chasing shadows in an empty house. He barely even noticed what he did next.

There were strange smells around him and not at all comforting. Axel sat just beneath Roxas' bedroom window. It was open and allowed for some of the vapours that crept from downstairs to drift out. He leaned against the wall with his face tilted up as if he were drinking in the cold night air and sighing it out. He had no lights on and he liked it better that way.

He felt more at rest in this place and he even started drifting off despite the chill in the room. Every part of him felt heavy, but the heaviest parts of his body were his eyes. He didn't want to go to sleep. He didn't want the chance to dream. Nightmares made him want to vomit and dreams tore his heart out. If he still had a heart, Axel thought.

The room lit up when the clouds moved out of the moon's path. The light fell on Roxas' window and illuminated Axel in the square of light the pane allowed. He stood up stiffly and looked outside. The moon was only half full and to Axel it looked sad and broken. He couldn't help thinking that he was somehow responsible for its state.

By the moon's light Axel set back to work. He slid the window closed and nailed it shut. Then he unclipped the radio from his waist and put it close to his lips.

"I've found Riku and Sora."

Axel knew Roxas' house better than his own by now, so when he heard a creak from the porch he knew which step someone was on. Boots crunched glass in the doorway and Saix grunted.

"Yes, despite what Sergeant Axel reported last night, it seems Riku had enough drive to put up a decent fight," Xemnas growled.

"And where did Sergeant Axel say he'd be waiting with the prisoners?" Saix asked from the doorway. Axel could hear the wariness in the blue haired soldier's voice.

"He reported that he cornered them in the boy's room," Xemnas said as he continued farther into the house, but paused when Saix made an odd noise. "What is it?"

"Sir, in the snow. It looks like a hand," Saix could be heard walking out of the house and landing in the snow with a muffled leap.

Curiosity and fear mingled in Axel's mind. He hadn't noticed anything or anyone outside and what made him even more distressed was that Xemnas had taken a couple steps back to the door. He had hoped that Xemnas and his patrol would at least make it up stairs before they noticed anything off, but it looked like he had little control now.

"Sir..." Saix said slightly surprised, "it's Luxord. I think he's been-"

Axel appeared from the kitchen with an unlit lantern in hand and shut the door, cutting himself and Xemnas off from Saix and most of the morning's light. Axel saw Xemnas blink but express no amount of surprise.

"It's a bit chilly with that door open. By the way, got a light, General?" Axel asked as he held up the lantern.

"Sergeant Axel, what exactly do you think you are doing?" Xemnas asked in a cool voice.

"Never mind," Axel said, dipping his hand into his pocket to dig out a matchbox. He pulled a match out and held it between leering lips as he slid the box back into his pocket. Axel mumbled, "Found my own. I forgot my mommy and daddy aren't around to tell me not to play with matches."

Xemnas just stood with impassive eyes as Axel bent to light the match on his boot.

"Oh yeah," Axel chuckled as he lit the wick in the lantern. "I suppose Roxas would have told me not to fuck around with fire, but he's not here either."

Axel blew out the match and tossed it at Xemnas' feet where a thin stream of smoke curled around his ankles.

"Ah, I see now," Xemnas said leeringly.

Axel held the lantern higher to shed more light on the General.

"I should hope so. I lit this thing for your benefit after all."

"You really did take that boy's demise badly."

"How else was I supposed to take it?" Axel barked, the lantern swung with his wild motions of exasperation. "Was I supposed to take it like I took everything else you said? I might have done what you asked but almost never did I like it. Working for the Organization is like one-sided bad sex. I always have to grit my teeth and get what you wanted done for your pleasure. I'm not doing it anymore."

"Eloquent as always, Sergeant, but I don't think being a strategist was ever meant to be part of your destiny," Xemnas drew a gun from a holster at his hip and aimed it in Axel's direction. "Move away from the door. Unless you plan to fight me with your light you are defenceless and hopelessly overpowered."

"Do you honestly think I care anymore?" Axel scoffed.

Xemnas' grip twitched and his eyes narrowed. The General's uncertainty brought a smirk to Axel's lips.

"'Cause honestly I don't."

Axel swung the lantern against the door and if the oil wasn't fuel enough to spread the flames quickly, the fresh paint and paint thinner that outlined the doorframe was. Strokes of the flammable substances, that looked like bursting veins stemmed across the ceiling, were at first illuminated by the fire then ignited.

With the boarded windows and lack of interior lighting, the muck on the ceiling and walls further in couldn't be seen in the dark. The vapours should have been a strong clue, but after enduring the smells of war odd and rank odours just didn't seem as out of place anymore.

Xemnas looked to the fire cackling happily along the ceiling and back to Axel before lowering his gun and darting into the kitchen down the hall. Axel didn't bother pursuing, instead he dug another match out of his pocket and raced to the living room. He lit it off his boot and tossed it into the centre of the room. The little leaping match partially illuminated a small pile of broken glass, metal skeletons of other lanterns and a pool of lamp oil oozing out of the pile. There was a burst of flames and smoke as the fire roared with wild triumph.

Axel heard a rapid fire of gunshot from the kitchen and hit the floor. None of the bullets whizzed past him, so he went into a crouch and peered around the doorway into the kitchen. Xemnas was just setting his gun on the counter to free his hands so that he could pull at the boards, now riddled with holes, that were nailed to the window.

Axel struck another match and moved into the doorway. He whistled, causing Xemnas to glance over his shoulder. Axel tossed the match on the counter where bottles stopped with rags lay dangerously in wait for a spark to bring them to life.

"No!" Xemnas snarled as he reached for his gun, but the flames snaked quickly along the counter and bit at his fingers. Just as quickly as he pulled his fingers away Xemnas drew a knife from his belt and let it fly towards Axel, but he had already swung around the corner again to get out of range. Xemnas threw himself from the other entry way to the kitchen just as glass and fire shrieked out of the room.

Axel was on his feet first and bolted for the stairs, striking another match on an already flaming banister. For the second time in two days Axel ended up tripping painfully while running up the farmhouse's staircase. This time wasn't an accident though and Axel huffed when a fist burrowed into his ribs. He ignored the urge to turn around to dig his own fist into his superior's face and instead tried to grasp the splinter of wood that still burned on a step above him. His fingers fumbled with it, doing little more that spinning the minute piece of wood, until a single gloved finger crushed the flame before his eyes.

In a voice that seemed to fit perfectly with the roar of the fire downstairs, Xemnas spoke close to Axel's ear.

"I expected treason from you someday. Dogs born wild always have the greatest chance of biting their masters. What I didn't expect was this cowardice."

Axel's retort became a snarl of pain as Xemnas twisted Axel's one arm behind his back and grabbed hold of the boy's hair with his other.

"Setting traps like a spider, too cowardly to face me alone. You had to wait until I was ensnared before you even dared look me in the eye. And so poor at planning that you let your own web entangle you as well," Xemnas twisted Axel's arm further, close to snapping it, as he snarled, "I taught you better, soldier. Now that boy truly did die for nothing."

"It's your own fucking web! You trained me for this and prepared me for this," Axel said with his mouth buried into the carpet on the stairs. "Geez, people always seem to react badly when their own shit blows up in their face."

Xemnas lifted Axel's face from the carpet by his hair and their eyes met. Axel sneered defiantly while Xemnas surveyed him with a cooling glare.

"You had potential for ruling, but now you only have potential for destruction. If you crave bereavement so badly, I will gladly supply."

It was hard to laugh with Xemnas' knee rammed into his spine and his chest melding to the shape of the staircase, but he managed a couple dry heaves.

"I didn't want power, I never wanted destruction and I don't know exactly what be-whatever that is," Axel took in a painful lungful of the acrid air. The fumes of the various flammable substances seemed to be clinging and coating the inside of his nose and his eyes were starting to water. Axel tried to clear his eyes by rubbing them on the carpeted edge of the stairs.

"The only thing I want is my friend back," Axel tried bucking Xemnas off as he barked over his shoulder, "Can you do that? Huh, sir?"

It became a lot harder to breathe when Xemnas slid a knife between Axel's ribs and pierced one of his lungs. Xemnas pulled the blade back out and got off his soldier lying on the stairs. He wiped the blood off on Axel's cheek and sheathed his knife.

"I can do something of similar effect," Xemnas said calmly as he ascended the stairs. He gazed down at Axel who writhed and took rapid breaths, trying to get enough air. The house's air supply was as sealed as Axel's fate though, and he knew this.

"Y-you stingy bastard," Axel coughed through pained and grinning lips, "you o-only ever gave us o-one knife. You're just cruel."

Xemnas just blinked and continued ascending the stairs.

"You'll regret this!" Axel called after him. He thought he heard Xemnas chuckle over the roar of the fire, and so Axel laughed too. "Yeah. You won't."

Xemnas was likely headed to Roxas' room. He had probably guessed that out of all of the rooms in the house, it was the least likeliest to be turned into a goring hell. Pitifully Axel had nailed Roxas' window shut the night before, but Xemnas could break the glass or slip the blade of his knife beneath the pane. Escape was possible for the General who thought only with cold, battlefield logic. For Axel, escape wasn't that simple, even if he had both his lungs.

The shock was wearing off and Axel was able to manoeuvre into a hunched sitting position, and eventually into a curled standing position. He was almost at the top of the stairs when he heard the shattering of glass. The bang of a gun made Axel's heart jump, and he cursed at the spasm that ripped through his wound as he started to climb faster. He had to let go of the railing at the stair's end, and found that he was as unable to stand properly without support as his lung was unable to hold air in. He crawled to Roxas' room with one hand pressed against his wound.

When he got to the doorway he sat on his knees and leaned against the doorframe. The scene inside shocked him. Roxas' window was shattered, and judging by the small amount of glass actually in the room, he suspected that it had been broken from the inside. Xemnas hadn't escaped yet and he crouched against the wall with his arms crossed and head bowed, as if deep in thought.

Maybe it was the fumes, the smoke in the room, or that Axel's tired brain just wasn't getting enough oxygen, but the General seemed to be smiling and gritting his teeth at the same time. He lifted his head at the sound of Axel's heavy breathing. At first he didn't seem to recognize Axel, and then he chuckled and unfolded his arms. It was hard to tell other than by the obvious slickness of Xemnas' black coat, but his arms and chest were coated in blood.

Axel couldn't fathom how the General had come to be bleeding out from his chest in the easiest room to escape from. The only person who might have been prowling around the house was Saix, and Axel could fathom even less why Xemnas' number two would shoot him. Unless Riku...

Xemnas continued to laugh as the house groaned loudly. Flames sprung up in the middle of the room where the floor should have been. A hole opened up near Xemnas and, with a final glare, the General fell through the flooring and into the fire below.

Axel slumped forward with a pained gasp. He didn't know what was driving him anymore, but he figured he was going to die so he just let any sense of rhyme or reason go. He half crawled, half dragged himself into the room. He wasn't nimble anymore and ironically his luck more than health allowed him to not fall through any of the holes. He made it to Roxas' bed and with a loud growl of pain, he managed to pull himself onto it.

It was becoming impossible to breathe now. His chest heaved with rapidness and fragility. His mind wasn't done raging at him though. He thought that this experience must have been similar to how Roxas had felt. He had held his friend and kept him alive long enough for one last conversation. He realized now that that was another act of cruelty that he really should pay for. Axel closed his eyes, they weren't working as well for him anymore anyways.

He imagined he heard someone calling his name and since he was dying he thought it would be the best way to go if he imagined it was Roxas calling him on. He swore Roxas was close now and he thought he felt a hand touch his shoulder as he fell into darkness.

"Axel! Axel! Axel!"

Axel opened his eyes and immediately shut them. He tried to spit out his amazement, but he ended up coughing up soot.

Wherever he was, it was bright and cold and white. It was such a change from the burning mess he had caged himself in and what was more was that there was someone kneeling over him. And he knew who it had to be.

Axel coughed once more before choking out, "Roxas..."

He hissed in pain as a cold hand, a solid hand, found his that covered his wound. His hands stung to be touched. They were badly burned.

"Axel...what were you thinking? What were you trying to do?"

"I...was trying t-to find a way...to make i-it right again," he croaked and tried to open his eyes again, but he could only see the blurry outline of Roxas' face. He was given a gentle squeeze of the hand for his efforts. He choked out the words he really felt he had to say. "Roxas...I'm sorry. It's the one thing...how are you...I don't understand..."

"Axel, it doesn't matter," Roxas said softly.

"You don't h-hate-?"

"No, I don't hate you. I was angry at first, but now..." Roxas sighed and put his forehead against Axel's. Axel's lips stung when they cracked into a smile.

"Axel, wait! Just let me say one more thing."

Tiredly Axel groaned and squeezed Roxas' hand as firmly as he could, but it was like trying to grasp sand in a fist. Everything was just slipping away.

"Axel, I forgive you."