Disclaimer: t(^-^t) Logical ending not found.
A/N: So here we are... Yeah, yeah, should be nice... EXCEPT FOR THE DRAGON!
"We don't have much time! How the hell are we supposed to keep up with you?" Lois yelled after the running wolf.
Tovia grabbed a piece of horse reed and blew into it, but all he achieved was an odd hollow sound. He sighed and handed it to Lois. "We'll borrow Epona."
She glanced at the reed and nodded before blowing into it. To his slight agitation, she hit the notes perfectly. Out of nowhere, Link's trusty mare came racing up to them. Lois hopped into the saddle, holding a hand down to Tovia.
Worriedly, he eyed the horse.
"Don't worry. She won't hurt you," Lois promised.
Look at what it's come to. Riding that filthy hero's own horse. Ugh, makes me sick.
As quickly as he could, Tovia mounted the horse and they were off, racing towards Castle Town after Link, who was carrying the dying Midna.
Eventually, the horse caught up to the wolf, then they stayed neck and neck. The Hylians could hear Midna's gasps for air even above the hooves pounding against the ground.
A few droplets of rain fell around them before it began pouring. Thunder clashed as they arrived at Castle Town. Those who were still wandering the streets of the city screamed in fear as they saw the wolf and scattered. Lois and Tovia hurriedly dismounted Epona, running to catch up.
They raced towards Telma's tavern, only stopping just outside the door. "You know she isn't going to let you in like that, right?" Lois commented. She picked Midna up, motioning for Tovia to grab Link.
Oh, gross! Don't make me feel that bastard's fur! Eww!
"What are we doing?" Tovia asked, grunting a bit, and heavily ignoring the voice in his head. Link's wolf form wasn't as light as he thought it would be.
"We're going to get help." Lois opened the door for them. "Telma," she called into the bar as they entered, "we need to get to the castle right away. Don't ask what's going on. Just help us out!"
Telma eyed the wolf in Tovia's arm, glancing right over Midna. "Sh-she... can't see... m-me... or... h-hear... hear me," the imp rasped.
"Let me get a ladder." Telma went into the back of the bar and came right out with a tall wooden ladder in her grasp. She propped it up against the shelves lining the cieling and stepped aside. "There you go, honey. Be careful. There's a lot of vermin in the sewers."
"Right. Thanks." Lois flashed a smile, then slowly climbed up, being careful to not drop or upset Midna. Tovia had much more difficulty, but eventually they made it to the surprisingly strong wooden shelf. He set Link down and waved back to the owner of the bar before following Lois through a hole in the wall near the cieling.
Shad, Ashei, and Auru blinked. The first to speak was the crude young female warrior. "...Was that just Lois?"
"And Tovia?" Shad asked.
"With a wolf?" Auru finished.
Telma sighed, picking up a rag and wiping down her bar. "It just ain't worth asking."
"I hate you people." Lois growled, soaking wet. "I am never EVER again crawling on a fucking roof in the middle of a fucking storm. EVER!"
Tovia grabbed her hand and squeezed it. "Calm down, Lois."
She glared at him out of the corner of her eye, letting go of his hand so she could push open the door to Princess Zelda's room. "I am calm."
The four took a glance around the room. "She's not even fucking here!" Lois shouted, at her wit's end. She shrieked when she felt a hand on her shoulder, then gasped when she turned around. "Your highness!" she exclaimed breathlessly, and both her and Tovia hastily bowed.
Zelda frowned and placed her hand on Midna. "What happened to her?"
Midna opened a bleary yellow eye. "Zant..." she rasped. "Please... please tell me... How do we break... the curse on this one?" She patted Link softly. "This... is the one... You need him... to save your world! That's why... Princess... please... You must help Link."
The ruler of Hyrule outstretched her arm, moving her hand across him. There was a golden glimmer on her hand and a shining sound.
Tovia's eyes fell onto it. The Tri-Force...
After all these years, Zelda still has it? Yeesh, talk about a hand-me-down. Well, Link...
Her hand fell down to her side. "What binds him is a different magic than what transformed him when he first passed the curtain of twilight. It is an evil power."
Evil power. Where the hell have I heard that before? Tovia's eyes began to roll but he snapped his eyelids shut.
"Our world is one of balance... Just as there is light to drive away darkness, so, too, is there benevolence to banish evil. Head for the sacred grove that lies deep within the lands guarded by the spirit Faron. There you will find the blade of evil's bane that was crafted by the wisdom of the ancient sages... the Master Sword."
Lois' jaw dropped. "The Master Sword? You mean the Master Sword? My dad used to tell me so many stories about it before! That is so fucking cool!"
Zelda laughed lightly while all eyes fell onto the young woman.
"...I mean, uh... that's pretty interesting..." she coughed.
"Yes, the Master Sword," Zelda said, managing humility while still smiling towards Lois. "It is a sacred blade that evil can never touch." Her eyes moved back to Link. "Evil cloaks you like a dark veil... and that blade is the only thing that can cleave it. Link... Hero sent by the goddesses... Like you, I have been granted special powers by the goddesses." Zelda raised her hand lightly to show them. The royal family's symbol glowed softly through her glove.
Midna patted the wolf again. "Fine... Link... Tovia... Lois... you three... you can get to the woods... on your own, right?"
"I'll make sure they don't do anything retarded," Lois promised.
"Thanks... Princess... I have one last request... Can you tell them... where to find the Mirror of Twilight?"
Zelda gasped. The room went eerily silent for a long moment.
"Midna..." Zelda whispered, "I believe I understand now just who and what you are. Despite your mortal injuries, you act in our stead. These dark times are the result of our deeds, yet it is you who have reaped the penalty. Accept this now, Midna. I pass it to you."
The princess began to glow, specks of magic floating around her. Slowly, the glow flowed to Midna and the specks surrounded her like fireflies. The imp raised off the ground as the three onlookers looked on, not knowing what to say or do.
"No! Link! STOP HER!" Midna shouted.
Zelda smiled, then softly faded away.
Midna settled back on the ground, her colors back to normal and her breath no longer uneven. "Midna... are you alright?" Tovia asked.
"What the fuck just happened?" Lois said, more bluntly.
"She gave me her life..." Midna murmured. "She saved my life and gave me hers, although I did not ask for it..." She looked away from where the princess had just been mere seconds ago. "We go back! Back to the Faron Woods!" The ever-flexible imp flipped onto Link's back. Then her body twisted into the air and the four broke into black squares, floating upwards.
They rearranged outside of Castle Town, standing in Hyrule Field. The rain had stopped and the sun was starting to set, leaving the sky a light cloudy blue with orange hazes.
A soft boom came from behind, and they all turned around to face the castle. A harsh light flashed above it, forming a pyramid-like force field around the structure.
Midna's hand curled into a fist as she glared at it. Link growled, his body tense and ready to run back. "...What...the...fuck?" Lois murmured.
The imp looked down at her hand and sighed. "Let's just go. We can't do anything yet."
"What the hell are these things?" Lois yelled, slashing at them with the dagger Tovia had given her.
"They look like puppets." Tovia had his hands out. "I could just get rid of them with magic, you know."
"No! I want to practice! You should, too! I mean, they're not that bad." Two minutes later and Lois was shouting at the puppets to just die. Another two minutes and Link decided enough was enough and destroyed them all in one fell swoop.
"Show-off." Tovia glared at him.
A familiar monkey with a flower tucked behind her ear peeked out from where she'd hidden behind her hands, then looked up at Link when she noticed the puppets were gone. "Did... Did you save me?" she asked. "Th-Thank you! Listen, since you're so nice, let me tell you something: there's a really pretty wooded area on the other side of this cliff! I climbed over there, but when I tried to get deeper into the woods, THOSE guys attacked me! What's in those woods, anyway?"
Link stared at her. Then he ignored her and walked on.
"...Did you even understand her?" Lois whispered to Tovia.
He shrugged. "Does it look like I speak monkey?"
"So there's another section of forest beyond this cliff. Alright, Link, let's go!" Midna floated over to a ledge, giggling.
The wolf jumped over to the ledge quickly, landing on his paws with a soft thud.
"How the hell did you do that?" Lois exclaimed, shouting toward them.
Midna rolled her eyes. "He just Z-targeted me and then clicked A!"
"He did what?"
"I have no idea."
This supposed targeting and clicking continued on for quite some time, with Lois gripping onto Tovia as they floated after the leaping wolf. Ten minutes later found Lois shouting about how she'd track down the person who came up with the booby traps to the Sacred Grove and kill them. Another ten minutes and they arrived in the coveted woods.
Tovia leaned against one of the trees. "Well, what now?" He walked over to another tree and pointed towards an oddly colored patch of wood. "It looks off. Any ideas?"
Lois placed her hand on the cold bark. "It feels weird. Sort of like mist? Like... it's there but it isn't?"
The female Hylian screamed when she heard howling but turned around to find out it was only Link sitting next to a carved rock. She huffed and crossed her arms. Then there was a rustling from the tree tops before the Skull Kid dropped down next to Tovia.
Tovia jumped away from the cursed child. "Shit!" he exclaimed. "Don't do that! Scared the hell out of me!"
Skull Kid giggled, setting his trumpet and lantern down on the ground. He pretended to loom over Tovia, trying to make his hands look like claws. "Rawr, rawr!"
The Hylian glared. "Are you mocking me?"
Instead of an answer, he just giggled and picked his lantern and trumpet again, blowing into the latter. A puppet landed close to Lois, making her scream "Fuck!". It grabbed her right wrist and she dug into her pocket, pulled out the dagger and thrust the blade into its forehead. The weight on her wrist disappeared and she coughed at the smoke that burst from the absent puppet.
"Let's play!" Skull Kid's voice echoed as the patch of wood faded away.
More puppets dropped down. "Link, you go ahead and catch that fucking Skull Kid. Tovs and I will hold back these... things... whatever the hell they are..."
"No way in hell am I going to be his servant." Tovia slashed at the puppets. "I'll get Skull Kid."
"I don't see any Tri-Force on your hand, hero." Midna snarled.
"Who says I need one? They're overrated."
Lois groaned and ran off. Let them fight. Fucking morons. They're just letting that brat get ahead. She ignored all of Skull Kid's minions - or were they his toys? - that got in her way, easily running past them, and followed the sound of his trumpet until she reached some ancient ruins where nature had long since clearly proved its reign over civilization.
"Alright, Skull Kid, enough's enough, you little brat! Quit playing games and take me and my fucking friends to the fucking Master Sword!" she yelled at him, making him miss a note.
He turned around to face her and giggled, blowing the same tone to summon more puppets. "Oh, fuck me." Lois took out her bow and fired an arrow at one. "I'm sick of all this practice. I think I have it down pa-" She fired an arrow at Skull Kid by accident. "...I meant to do that."
The Skull Kid disappeared, giggling still. "Hee hee hee! Thanks for playing with me!"
The sealed up wall vanished and Lois sighed. "Finally." It only took a few minutes to retrace her steps and find Tovia and Midna, who were at each other's necks. They looked like they were ready to attack.
"Alright, break it the fuck up! Goddesses!" Lois shouted, pushing them away from each other. "I found the way to the Master Sword, so if everyone would just follow me in an orderly fashion like a bunch of fucking two year olds - which you are both fucking acting like - we can find the damn sword and get the hell out of here."
The two silently glared, at each other, waiting for the other to crack. It eventually ended up with Lois dragging them both by the ears with the silent Link following closely behind.
"Go now to the sacred palace, beast. We yield passage to the Sacred Grove." The guardians of the woods spoke in unison. "Keep your friends close but your enemies closer."
Tovia's ears flattened a bit. "Is everyone convinced I'm him?" he whispered to himself.
"Come on, Tovs." Lois tugged on his wrist, excited to see the legendary sword.
"I'm coming." He smiled. The two best friends began to walk towards the Master Sword's chamber, but he suddenly stopped. "No."
Lois stopped and turned back. "What's wrong?"
"I'm not going in there, damn it! You can't make me!" He yanked his hand away from hers and stumbled back.
Link and Midna looked behind to find out what the commotion was all about. "Alright! You don't have to go in there." Lois put her hands up in defeat.
Tovia screamed, his knees buckled and he fell to the ground. He clutched his head in his hands. "Stop it! Please!"
"Tovia!" Lois ran over to his side. "What's wrong? Tovia, talk to me."
He let go of his head. "It hurts, please... You can't just take over."
Lois slapped him across the face. "Tovia! Focus! What's wrong?"
"You bitch! Don't talk to her that way! I can talk to her anyway I want!"
She took a step back. "Tovs..."
"Did he finally snap?" Midna asked, trying to hide her worry.
"I'm going in there! No, you're not! Yes, I am!" He rose to his feet unsteadily, then toppled back again. Lois watched him with concern. "You think the light spirits are bad?" he shouted. "That thing is worse! I hate swords! I hate them, I hate them, I hate them!"
"Then why the fuck do you use one?" Lois shouted back.
"I don't! He does!"
"Who? Who the hell are you talking about? There's no one here but us and them." She gestured to Link and Midna.
He crawled away from the entrance to the chamber, leaning against a corner of the ruins. "I'm not going in there."
Lois leaned back down next to him, brushing away a few strands of hair. "Tovia, what's wrong?"
"Get away from me. I don't want to hurt you, Lois."
"Tovs, you're not going to hurt me."
"Get the fuck away from me!" Tovia snapped.
She stepped back and glared. "Fine. Link will tell you when we're ready to leave."
When her back was turned he bit his thumb at her.
Let me out of here! Give me my body back!
I won it fair and square.
A while after Lois and the others left apprehensively, Tovia stood up, rubbing his eyes. "I've got to get out of here..." he muttered, shivering slightly.
"The sword accepted you as its master..."
"...In what way?" Lois stared at her in confusion. "It's just a sword. Okay, it's a legendary magical sword, but, it's still just a sword."
"Who asked you?" Midna took out a crystal. "This thing is the embodiment of the evil magic that Zant cast on you. It's definitely different from our tribe's shadow magic."
Lois went to grab it to get a better look at all the grooves on it.
"Careful! If you touch it, you'll turn back into a spirit!" Midna twisted her wrist and it disappeared. "This thing is too dangerous. It's probably for the best that we just leave it here, huh? But on the other hand, if we kept it, Link would be able to transform into a beast anytime he wanted."
"I wouldn't really want to, but I guess I might have to sometimes," Link pointed out. "I mean, being a wolf does have its perks."
She blatantly ignored him. "Yes, since Zant was kind enough to give this to us, we should be thankful and use it all we can. If you need it, just tell me. I want to keep a low profile so I'll keep hiding in your shadow when you're human but I'll change you whenever. You can be a wolf now whenever you want! Which means you can warp wherever." She leaned against his shoulder. "Hey, but listen, Link? I've got a little favor to ask. Would you mind coming with me to find something called the Mirror of Twilight? It's hidden somewhere in Hyrule..."
"The Mirror of Twilight?" Lois and Link echoed.
"Yes, the Mirror of Twilight, our last potential link to Zant!" Midna blinked. "Pun not intended."
"Of course I'll help you."
She smiled. "Thanks," she said, then flew back into his shadow.
"I'm happy that you're back to normal and everything, but..." Lois grimaced. "You saw Tovia..."
"Right..." Link sighed. "We'll help him, Lois."
"What's wrong with him? Did he ever tell you anything?"
He cringed. "Right... Um..."
"He's gone fucking insane, hasn't he?"
"No! Look, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation..."
Lois looked up at the sky. "We're not going to get a doctor. That's too dangerous. I can ask Shad if he can help. He might have an explanation that doesn't involve Tovia being mad."
"Come on," Link grinned, masking his concern. "You can wear my hat if it'll make you feel better."
"Why the fuck would that make me feel better? I don't want your fucking hat and I don't want fucking fleas."
"Hey!"
She laughed as they walked back to the runes. They searched the clearing, then realized that Tovia wasn't there. "That little son of a bitch!" Lois exclaimed, fists clenched.
A/N: There was supposed to be a dragon here. DX MAN, WE PUT DOWN A DEPOSIT AND EVERYTHING!
Kay: Yeah, there is no dragon.
WELL I CAN SEE THAT OBVIOUSLY!