They were all but flying back up the mountain, much faster than it had taken him to go down, and Sabo wondered what the hell he was supposed to do now. Any of the ideas racing through his head would only result in Izo falling or dropping him, which would undoubtedly lead to his own death. And despite the fact that Sabo still gripped the knife in his hand, he just couldn't bring himself to use it against her.
He had to do something to fight back, but he knew that he'd lost his chance the moment Izo swept him off of his feet. His body was slowing down already, unwilling to be put through any more. The adrenaline rush from being caught had kept him standing during their conversation, but now that he was down, Sabo could barely move a muscle.
Sabo cursed his luck and his unwillingness to attack. He also cursed the small part of him that hadn't even wanted to leave in the first place, crushing it down into nonexistence. Sabo hated how conflicted he felt and the fact he'd completely wasted his one and only chance to escape.
It was ironic really; Sabo, the lifelong vampire hunter, unwilling to kill a vampire even after they put him through hell and back. Even after all this time, Sabo was still just as helpless to protect himself as he'd been helpless to protect his family.
His hands came up to press on his eyes, forcing back the tears that threatened to fall. His body was shaking, but whether that was because of the cold, the pain, or his suppressed shame and disgust, Sabo didn't know.
Neither of them spoke on the journey back to the castle, Sabo too immersed in his own mind for conversation anyways. When they returned not even ten minutes later, Sabo still said nothing and quite frankly heard nothing either. He could tell that Izo was speaking, but he simply didn't process any of her words. He could feel stares boring into his skin, but Sabo kept his face shadowed underneath his hair, hiding from the others. One particular stare was hostile and ice cold, sending shivers up the hunter's spine.
His expression was blank though as he stared at the knife still in his hands, his mind and body reduced to a warzone. He was back. Sabo couldn't decide whether to feel furious, relieved, bitter, embarrassed, ashamed, or any of the other emotions bubbling up.
He barely noticed when Izo set him down in an all-too familiar bed. Silence stretched on for a long time as Izo rummaged around through cabinets, most likely gathering the necessary supplies to tend to his reopened wounds. Ridiculously, Sabo began to feel the awkward need to say something. He had no idea what he could possibly say after all of that, but he didn't want to make Izo feel any worse than she undoubtedly already did.
Ace had it backwards; Sabo hadn't made this family care about him, they'd made Sabo care about them. Sabo didn't know when or how it had happened, but at some point he'd begun to think of this family as friends.
What other explanation could there be for why he was back in this castle? Sabo had always been quick to care about others, and time and time again it had led to pain. If it hadn't been for the small part of him that liked these vampires, Sabo would still be out there, free and going home.
"You still haven't answered my question."
The words had come out of their own accord, but Sabo made no effort to take them back. He kept his eye locked onto the knife in his hands, watching how it glinted in the candlelight. The time for using it had long since passed, but Sabo was somewhat reluctant to let it go. It was something real, something he could touch and feel, unlike all of the turmoil within him. The control he had over himself was fragile at best, most of it replaced with a deep tiredness that had him wanting to give up, to stop trying so hard and just sleep after weeks of nonstop stress.
Izo took a seat on the bed next to him and began to carefully remove the bandages. "You mean about us taking you in? About us accepting you so readily?" she ventured uncertainly.
"I feel that you're still confused about something, I'm just going to go out on a limb and guess that it's about why we insist on sheltering you and calling you family," she hummed, setting aside the dirtied bandages. Sabo shivered slightly as his skin was exposed to the much cooler surrounding air.
"You're a good kid, Sabo. You're kind, smart, and even though you tease Thatch endlessly about his dishes, you mean no harm with the jokes. If anything, you've inspired him to become better at what he does, he's constantly trying to make you something that will be so delicious that you won't be able to say no nowadays," Izo chuckled softly before returning to the subject.
"You remind me of myself when I was your age; hurt and scared amongst people that I didn't know and caused me torment. In the beginning I wanted to do right by you, make you feel welcome and safe. As time passed though, you grew on me. You hold the interest of not only me but most of the household as well. You're our little brother, stubborn as you may be. I can see that you're kind, passionate, and loyal to a near fault, but they're the traits that make you you. I've only known you for two weeks, but I feel like it's been so much longer than that. Is that the question I forgot to answer?" she asked, applying some kind of ointment onto his burned skin. It had begun to itch unbearably when it came into contact with the air, and Sabo sighed softly in relief as the oppressive tingling began to ease.
"I know I keep asking and you keep answering, but I just don't understand. I can see why you would like me or why I remind you of yourself, but I can't see why that matters. It's always been kill or be killed between vampires and humans, and yet you gave me a chance just because you thought you might like me? Because of whatever this soulmate thing is supposed to be? Being a good person has never got me far, it means nothing," he muttered.
"For some reason you're choosing to trust me over your own brother when Luffy is the one in potential danger. That doesn't raise any alarms in your head whatsoever? Because you 'can feel I'm a good person'? You may know what I'm like, but you don't know me."
Izo's hands dropped into her lap, contemplating Sabo's words. "People project emotions with everything they say, do, and think. That is where my Inclination lies, if you haven't guessed as much yet. I know better than anybody else in this castle that you are a person with good intentions, and it matters greatly on the fact that it's allowed us to trust you with leaving this room. It allowed us to reassure Oyaji that he was not wrong in offering a place in this family to you as well. It has not always been this way between humans and vampires. I know that in your lifetime and those of your forefathers, this world has pitted us against one another, but in the time of Oyaji's youth, there was no defined line. There was no us and them, we were simply people." She resumed her work as she spoke.
"Do you remember what I initially said about Ace? He lived in this castle for about a decade as a human, and he was much less trustworthy than you. He attempted to take our Oyaji's life at least a hundred times, and yet here he remained. Ace is blinded by a fear that still haunts him, and it is because of that that I don't see his reasoning. He says you are a danger to Luffy, but the only person Luffy has ever been in true danger of is long dead. So unless you give me concrete and believable information for a reason to distrust you, I simply don't see why I shouldn't." Izo finished with the bandages and then moved onto Sabo's hair, gently running a brush through the dirty, tangled strands.
Sabo blinked, honestly surprised by her reply. He'd been expecting that she wouldn't really have an answer, but he found that her words made sense. Izo and the others had all been kind and honest with him up to now, and yet Sabo was still holding back. This entire time he'd felt the truth inside of him like a trapped animal wanting to be released, but now it had turned into a raging beast. They didn't know, had decided to trust him, and Sabo was still lying through his teeth.
The guilt was eating him alive, and Sabo was so emotionally drained by this point that he couldn't hold it at bay any longer. "What if I told you that I'm the reason Luffy's no longer human?" he asked quietly, his voice hesitant and afraid. He hated this vulnerability he felt, hated how weak he was, and he now knew that Izo could feel it too. It was strange, and Sabo tried not to focus on that fact.
Izo continued to comb the knots out of his hair, remaining quiet for a few moments. "You would have been no older than nine at the time, excuse me if I have a hard time believing that you..." she trailed off, and Sabo could pinpoint the exact moment the idea clicked in her head. "That's the reason that Ace snapped last week, isn't it? Your hypothetical question to our reasoning behind your acceptance to our family got too close to him and he panicked. Please tell me you did not lead Ace to believe that you somehow played a part in Luffy's capture."
"I just wanted to know if Luffy still had his straw hat," Sabo mumbled. "He used to wear it everywhere, but I haven't seen it once since I got here. I was eight, I never found it."
Sabo knew how confusing he must sound, but his throat felt blocked, stopping him from getting the words out fast enough or in the right order. "I would never hurt Luffy, Ace left before I could say anything else."
Izo relaxed and combed her fingers through his hair one last time. "You mentioned something only the family was aware of. Ace must have taken it as a sign that you knew the man that turned him, and he got too caught up in that thought to ask for further details. His one track mind lead to anger, and I'm sorry for that. I currently have the hat, I've been meaning to stitch it back up for a while now, but I've been distracted."
Izo set the brush down and pressed a soft kiss to the center of Sabo's forehead. He slowly released the breath he'd been holding, relieved that she hadn't accused him like Ace had, and also to hear that Luffy did in fact still have his hat.
"If you knew Luffy from when you two were children, then why would you believe Ace's claims of your hurting him? Tell him what you have told me and we can clear things up between you," the woman insisted, but Sabo shook his head.
"You're still not listening to me, Izo. I didn't just know Luffy, I'm practically the reason his life was stolen from him. I… I was his older brother. I was supposed to protect him, but I didn't," Sabo finally revealed, turning his head from Izo so he wouldn't see her reaction.
"What could you have done, Sabo? For goodness sakes, you were eight!" Izo exclaimed, and Sabo stiffened as he felt a pair of arms gently wrap around him. Ace's violent reaction had set Sabo on edge, leaving him wondering if he really should keep his past with Luffy a secret, but Izo's acceptance had given him some hope.
"Luffy was taken by a vampire that hoarded children. Had you been with Luffy that day, you would have been caught as well and who knows what the outcome for you would have been? If he hadn't drained you, he would have tried to turn you, and the chances of you surviving that at such a young age are slim to none.
"You can't blame yourself for what happened, Sabo. You've not only found your soulmate, but also your little brother who is still here in this world despite all the odds. Please do not torment yourself with what ifs and should haves. How many other can say they have been given the second chance you now have?"
Sabo's throat tightened, mouth gaping in horror. "Luffy was what?" he choked out, staring at Izo in shocked disbelief. The silence stretched on, and then the calm before the storm broke. Fury and rage swirled together with despair and disbelief, mashing together violently into a giant whirlpool emotion, and as always, there was the ever present guilt.
"What could I have done? Something, anything. I don't care, it was unbearable losing him. He was the only good thing in my life after my parents died, and then for him to just be gone one day with no warning?" Sabo sucked in a sharp breath, looking up at Izo wildly.
"What would you do if you lost Thatch? Or Ace, or Haruta, or Whitebeard even, and you knew that you'd done nothing to save them? It doesn't matter that I was eight, I was his older brother! His only brother, his only friend really. But that doesn't even matter anymore! He has no fucking clue who I am," he rasped brokenly, burying his face in his hands yet again as he tried to stifle the pure, unadulterated sadness growing within. "I may have him back, but I'm not his big brother any more."
And with that, the floodgates opened and everything came spilling out at once. "We met when I was six after my parents died. Luffy practically attached himself to my hip from day one, saying that we were friends now and that was that." Sabo laughed at the memory, the sound twisted with grief.
"I ended up having to run off into the forest every day just to get away from him, but you know how Luffy is, he never gives up on something he wants. I thought he was just some annoying little brat at first, but he grew on me, and before I knew what was happening, we were brothers.
"The years I spent with him were easily the happiest of my life after my parents, but one day, he just… disappeared. Nobody saw him slip away, but we found blood, and I was terrified-" Sabo choked up, but Izo rubbed reassuring circles onto his back, silently encouraging him to continue.
"I was so scared that I'd lost another family member, and when I found more blood and one of his shoes in a clearing in the woods, what was I supposed to think? There was just so much blood, too much for such a weak little brat like him to have lived." Sabo sucked in another breath, the knife falling to the floor with a clatter as he saw the scene in his head.
"I've carried his death on my shoulders for fourteen years, and now to find him here, alive... I know it's irrational, but I can't help but feel like any minute now, I'm going to wake back up in that cell and realize that this was all some elaborate dream. I don't want to lose him again," he confessed, his voice shaking as his eyes burned with unshed tears.
Izo's arms tightened around him before she pulled away, running a soft hand through his hair once more. "I'm so sorry that you had to go through losing Luffy like that, Sabo. I'm also sorry that we hadn't caught onto this monster sooner, but we cannot change what we had no knowledge or control over," she said, her voice sounding just as pained as Sabo felt.
"But he doesn't even remember me, I actually thought that he was a hallucination at first. He has a new family now with new brothers and sisters and a father, and I just don't know whether to be upset or hurt or if I should be trying to make him remember me. Clearly I should just leave him be, but I want him to remember me…" Sabo trailed off in his ramblings. "Is that selfish? Wanting Luffy to remember me even if it includes the bad parts too?"
Izo smoothed his hair back, smiling sadly. "No, Sabo. Luffy has repressed memories, don't take this as him tossing you aside for us, it has never been as such. His mind simply cleaned his slate to allow him to live happily. When he came here, the poor dear didn't even know what was happening. He was fascinated, enthralled, and just about the sweetest little boy you could ever meet.
"I could sense his fear those first few nights when he was at the infirmary, but whenever Ace stepped into the room, all of that fear vanished, and Luffy was able to smile brightly. We're still perplexed by the way Luffy had clung to Ace back then and still does. We'd ruled it out as a sort of imprint that Luffy had developed to Ace because he had rescued him, but now I'm starting to wonder if that was never the case. Luffy has a strong Inclination of foresight, if he'd been given more time for it to develop before he was turned, he would have been a powerful seer.
"I reveal this much because I now believe that they may be something more to Luffy's attachment to Ace. He had been inconsolable whenever Ace was not in immediate reach, but when Ace held him, Luffy felt safe and secure. The familiar love he had for Ace was something that was built over years, not mere days. Sabo, Luffy never forgot about you, not subconsciously at least. Instinctively, he must have known that wherever Ace was, you were supposed to be. I'm not suggesting nor implying that he replaced you, but I do believe that it was his way of being with his older brother again," Izo finished, brushing her hands through Sabo's hair.
Sabo's sole eye was blown wide open with a hand pressed firmly against his mouth to prevent any words from escaping. Izo's words, while rational, did little to relieve the myriad of emotions within him. If anything, it made them worse, the new information throwing everything into chaos.
Foresight was an incredibly powerful Inclination, and Sabo could hardly believe that little Luffy almost had something so potent. As a human, Luffy had always been chucking himself into horrifyingly dangerous situations, smiling and laughing while Sabo had about fifty heart attacks before jumping in to rescue the idiot. Had that been Luffy being rash and not thinking things through, or had he instinctively known that it wouldn't end badly and therefore figured that it would be fun?
Luffy had always been different, but this? The thought boggled Sabo, and he wondered not for the first time just who Luffy would have been if he'd been given the chance to grow older. They'd only spent two years together, he hadn't thought that their bond was deep enough to undercut something as serious as amnesia.
He felt wetness on his cheek, followed by another until the tears were silently streaming down his face. Sabo hadn't cried since the day Luffy vanished, and now all of the pent-in sadness and anger and grief were making themselves known. He made no effort to stop them, fighting to keep his breaths from hitching but failing miserably. Shaking hands persistently wiped away the tears to no avail, and his breathing came in pained gasps, worsened by the exhaustion his body felt from the hike down the mountain.
Izo made no comment, simply held Sabo in her arms until finally, the tears ran dry. "Sabo, I think that it's time that you find out the truth about Luffy and Ace. It may be too soon to ask, but it would be easiest now while he's confined to his room," she suggested softly, still working her fingers through his hair.
Sabo shook his head, swallowing thickly through the hollow ache in his chest. "No." He felt unsteady, and knew that talking to Ace now would only make it all worse. There was only so much he could take in one day without completely falling apart, and Sabo had reached his limit. "Can't it wait? He'll still be here tomorrow. He won't want to believe me and I don't know if I even care enough to try right now," he admitted quietly, ducking his head in shame.
Izo sighed, fingers stilling in his hair. "Do you wish not to be bothered for the rest of the night? I'll go if you want, but if you need me to stay I won't decline either."
Sabo shook his head again, wiping at his eye once and focusing on the stabilizing comfort that Izo's hand provided. "No, stay. I don't want to be alone to think about this."
He hated acting so needy, but Sabo had always been his worst enemy at times like this. If Izo left now, all of the anger and hatred would only come back to eat him alive. "Sorry, you probably have better things to be doing other than babysitting me. I just…" The sentence trailed off, and Sabo made no real effort to rescue the thought. "Sorry."
Izo smiled softly, pressing another kiss to Sabo's crown. "Nothing is more important than a family member in need. You don't need to be sorry, I understand. I'll stay with you tonight, and tomorrow you'll finally get the full story."
Sabo nodded and rested his head on her shoulder, glad that he at least didn't have to go through all of this alone. Maybe he had more friends here than he'd originally thought.
Bum bum bum! The big reveal! Was their past what you guys were expecting? Seeing as you now know Izo's, Ace's, and Luffy's Inclinations.
I shall give free cookies (whichever kind you prefer) to the first person who can correctly guess Thatch's!
It's been shown twice already, and not as subtly as you may think.
Also, my partner and I have already written out Izo's backstory and are debating adding it as a bonus to the Epilogue, so let us know if you'd be interested in reading that!
Don't forget to leave your thoughts/comments/theories down below and as always, thank for reading (; we really love you guys!