My thanks go out to Julie, Rayena, and Rayena's father for helping me so much with this chapter. I appreciate it! Rayena gave me the idea for the black cloud and silver lining part, even though I don't think she knows it.

Steve's POV

Though my annoyance at Johnny's good fortune was still intact, I knew Johnny did deserve a break. He'd had as rough of a life as the rest of the gang. If he could get a shot at a normal life, maybe it meant there was hope for the rest of us.

I knew I couldn't allow Johnny to keep feeling guilty about being lucky. I was being a rotten friend by not being happy for Johnny. He's
had such a rough time lately. He needs a break for once. I knew it, but part of me wanted to forget it the other day. It was as though I
wanted to pick a fight with Johnny and I don't know why.

I wasn't exactly thrilled that Dad and Elisabeth were getting back together. I did appreciate the change in food. I just couldn't believe
their wedding was coming up so soon. They ended up delaying it so now it won't be for three more weeks. Still, I couldn't believe it'd be in that short of time. And then I'd have a stepmother. How weird would that be? I walked the short distance to Johnny's new hose after work. I hated knocking on the door. I was used to just letting myself in. I figured Johnny wouldn't be the one to answer so I put on my
more-polite-than-usual face.

As it turned out, Michael was the one to answer.

"Oh, hello. You're one of Johnny's friends, right?"

"Yes. Can I see him?"

"Sure."

Mike stepped back so I could enter. I looked around, feeling dumb and poor in their home, and wondered where I was supposed to go.

"His room is right down there." Michael pointed to a door and I went to it.

Tired of knocking and waiting, I knocked loudly on the door and let myself in. Johnny was reading a book when I came in. He looked up, surprised to find me there.

"What are you doing here?" he asked as he sat up.

"I came to talk and to apologize."

"Oh. You think we can do it somewhere else?"

I shrugged. "Wherever, man."

Johnny led the way to a secluded area behind their house. It had a circle of chairs and Johnny sat on a wooden bench. I sat on a plastic
chair and leaned forward.

"So what do you want to talk about?" I could see hurt evident on his face and the stone face that replaced it said he didn't plan on getting
hurt again.

"Look, I am so sorry about the other day. I-I was out of line and I wasn't being a very good friend. I just... I got so jealous when you
kept going on about how great your life is. It didn't make sense to me that you were getting so lucky. I felt so jealous that I had to get you to shut up about your life."

"You could have said something," Johnny put in quietly.

"Yeah, I know. But jealousy made me angry. I just couldn't see how you'd be getting such a great life. I wasn't thinking about myself and
I was comparing your life to mine. It doesn't make sense because my life has been going okay lately. It's not perfect or anything, but I
haven't had it this good in a long time... and you still have it so much better."

Johnny's face showed surprise and a little confusion.

"You're making my life out to be perfect."

"It's about as close as it can be." I was surprised when Johnny reacted so strongly by that statement.

"You think my life is so perfect? You go out and kill someone, spend nine months in juvie, and come here to live with strangers. Tell me
your life is perfect when the guilt eats away at you and you wake up not knowing where you are. Tell me it's perfect then."

Johnny stood and walked toward the house.

"Johnny, wait! I didn't come here to start another fight."

He stopped walking and his shoulders sagged a little. After a brief moment, he turned back at me.

"I know. I-I don't know what got into me. It's just that... my life isn't easy, you know. It's a whole lot better than it was, but it's no
where near perfect. I am extremely lucky to have foster parents like April and Mike, but it's just one aspect of my life that is going
right."

"I-I'm sorry, man. I just...God, I feel like an idiot. I didn't know things were still so rough. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, man. I understand."

"Do you?"

"Yeah. It's okay."

I smiled. "Thanks, Johnny."

I felt the guilt ease and understanding flood in.

"You wanna talk some more?" Johnny asked, motioning toward the chairs.

"Sure, man."

So we sat there and we both got a look at the other's life and how they are better and worse. I felt better having told him about what I
thought. We caught up on the times we missed when he was in juvie and for once forgot about the troubles of today.

Pony's POV

I couldn't believe the call had come in. Thankfully Darry was home and he planned for the next day's appointment. He'd go with me and Soda would have to wait anxiously at the DX and work.

My prosthesis was in. I felt more nervous and excited than I had before. And I even felt a little fear. Would this be the end of my
troubles? Could I finally have a normal life and more on as if nothing had ever happened?

The scars would still be there. My leg would still be half gone. The memories would still haunt me. But after this, I can pretend to be
normal and people won't be able to tell. People can't see the scars. They won't know I have prosthesis for the lower half of my left leg.
They can't see the memories floating around in my head. It didn't work that way. Strangers wouldn't see anything different about me.

They'll never know any different unless they take the time to find out.

I called Rose after Darry announced the good news to me. She would understand what I was going through.

"Hi, Pony. What's up?" Rose said when she knew it was me.

"I'm getting my prosthesis tomorrow." I couldn't help but smile widely. I heard her scream happily.

"That's so cool! I'm so happy for you. It'll be okay now, I promise! You'll have to walk with your crutches for a while until you get used
to it. But practice without the crutches a lot. It'll come easy for you eventually. Don't worry about it. You'll be great!"

"Thanks. I'm glad you're happy."

"Of course I am! This is so exciting. You're going to feel so different, Pony. No one will look at you the same."

Well, that was a good thing. I didn't want to get those same stares I have been lately. People would look at me either full of pity or as if
I'm some sort of freak. But, then, there are those who chose not to bother to look at me. When I start coming, they'd look the other way. I don't know which one I prefer.

After getting off the phone with Rose, I called Johnny to tell him. He was the only other member of the gang I figured would be anxious to find out when. The rest will see me with it soon enough.

Darry drove me to the hospital the next day. I could hardly breathe.

"It'll be okay," Darry said as he reached across the seat and squeezed my arm.

I nodded because I couldn't breathe. I couldn't speak.

I should feel so scared. This was a good thing. I feared the new challenge ahead. I feared what people will think when they see me walking with it. I feared it wouldn't work. I feared the change it would bring.

I had grown so used to being ignored by people when they see me. At first I had missed the sense of normalcy. Now that I have gotten used to it I couldn't understand what it would be like as I had been before. I couldn't pretend this has never happened. It will always be a part of me. I can't imagine what my life would be like it if hadn't. So much has happened because of one incident. An incident where I came out a hero with a burned body. How is that fair?

I could remember Dallas once saying "that's what you get for helping people." I hoped it wasn't true. I hoped it was just a bitter and cynical statement. It would make sense why most people didn't do the right thing, though.

I knew it took guts to do what I did. I was proud of myself for doing it, but I had rarely thought about before the moment I was burned. My life changed after that. But what if I hadn't saved the kids? How would things have changed? Dallas would have taken us back. Johnny would have turned himself in. But what about me and Darry?

I looked over at my brother. I hated how we had been before the fire. Darry had been at my throat all the time. I thought he had hated me. I was thankful for how that has changed. Would we have been on such good terms now if I hadn't been burned?

I couldn't imagine us not being on good terms. Now we're like we were before Mom and Dad died, maybe even closer. I missed the closeness between us. Before I even had had the irrational thought that Darry blamed me for their deaths.

I also would hate living with the guilt of not doing something to save the kids. More than likely, my or Johnny's cigarette was the cause of the fire. Most people wouldn't take the guilt upon themselves. When you see firemen heading into a burning building, you don't feel guilty for not joining them. Most would see that as the same case with the church. I would have brought it on myself because that's the kind of person I am. If I don't act, I regret it forever. But if I had known what would happen because of me saving the kids...

My thoughts weren't allowed to venture there when Darry brought me back to the present. We'd arrived at the hospital.

Nervously, I walked with Darry to the hospital. Darry signed me in and then came to sit by me. I kept tapping my foot out of nervous habit and I was shaking like a leaf.

Darry gave a soft chuckle and squeezed the back of my neck.

"Stop fidgeting. It's going to be all right."

I gave him a small smile to let him think I was okay. He smiled back reassuringly to me. The smile died on my lips when a nurse called my name.

Dr. Reardon was waiting for me with a flesh colored prosthesis in his hands. I smiled slightly, just to show I wasn't horrified. I actually felt like I needed to throw up.

"Well, Pony, she's here." I didn't like that he referred to it as "she."

"I see that."

Darry was smiling as he watched us silently.

"You just get up here and we'll try her on. You'll have to take your jeans off, though."

I blushed a little after taking them off. I felt uncomfortable even though the two didn't make me that way.

I sat on the table and Dr. Reardon came over. He covered my stump with two sweat socks to cushion it. Right below my knee the prosthesis fit on. It strapped around the upper portion of my leg.

"Okay, Darrel. You stand over there and, Pony, you walk to your brother."

It wasn't a long distance, but I still gulped with fear. Darry smiled at me and I took up strength to go to him.

I felt shaky by the time I got to him, but he just grinned proudly at me.

"Perfect. Absolutely perfect." I saw a tear roll down his cheek before he embraced me in a tight hug.

"I'm so proud of you," he whispered against my hair.

I walked back to the table and held on as Dr. Reardon helped me with my jeans. Then I sat down on the table and waited for Dr. Reardon to finish the paper work so we could leave.

I couldn't contain my excitement. Once I was here and had seen it I could let myself get excited. I knew now that it wasn't just a dream, that I wasn't just believing and wishing for something that would never happen.

My smile spread widely across my face as I looked down at my prosthesis. It did look believable. Still smiling, I looked across the room at Darry. He was smiling about as widely as me. I could see the pleasure on his face. I couldn't believe this was really happening to me. It didn't seem possible.

It all started with a fight between me and Darry. Then Johnny murdered Bob. Then we ran away. Then there was my heroic moment when I saved the kids from the church (as did the firemen; we saved all but one, which I could never forget). Then tragedy struck when the lower half of my left leg was amputated. Then there was months of pain, grief, fear, and uncertainty. And now this: the silver lining to my storm cloud. I didn't think there was anything but blackness to my cloud. Then the sparkling rays of silver shone through. And for a while I thought it to be a hallucination of my over-worked mind. It didn't seem like I'd be able to have something as good as this.

Though there were still some darks spots of fear and hesitancy on my silver lining, I was prepared now to face this new opportunity. There would be no easy way to do this. I didn't expect things to go perfectly; nothing in my life has.

Darry and Soda would be there and so would Rose and the gang. I'd have my support system through them, for which I was thankful. I couldn't imagine trying to do it without them.

Once I would get through the hard part, I could finally move on... just never forget.

Johnny's POV

Knowing Pony would be home with his prosthesis by now, I decided to walk to the Curtis house. I couldn't imagine all the emotions Pony must be feeling right now. I didn't know much about it, but I knew it would change things for Pony forever.

I was glad I had gotten to talk so closely to Steve a few days ago. He had been through an awful lot. I should have known not to get too in depth about my life. I had been wrong to talk about it so much, though Steve assured me I wasn't doing anything wrong.

I especially know how hard life can be. Steve knew his fair share of troubles. All of the gang did. I think it is part of why we are so close. Our hardships have brought us closer. We all know what it's like to be treated unfairly and how it feels to lose someone. We all felt the loss of the Curtis parents. They'd been a part of our family, too. Steve had already lost his mom by then so he knew what they were going through. I think he was a big support for Soda after that and it brought the two even closer.

I should have known it wasn't a smart idea to walk along the streets by myself. I hadn't even realized I would be walking by it until I was right in front of it.

I turned and faced my childhood home. It caught my attention because I heard a loud voice coming toward me. It was familiar. It wasn't yelling at me, but I looked anyway.

My father came walking - well, staggering - toward me. He was screaming at my mother over his shoulder. When he turned around to face forward, he saw me. Our eyes locked and I felt a chill run through my veins.

"What are you doing here? Didn't I tell you to stay away?"

"I-" I couldn't begin to tell my father anything. I knew what I should say but the words died on my lips.

"What? Are you just stupid or something?"

I was able to shake my head no as he came even closer. I could smell the alcohol on his breath so I decided to back up.

I was paralyzed. There was nothing I could do, though. My body refused to work

"Get out of here! Don't you get it? We don't want you!" Dad screamed as he threw his fist at my face. Luckily he was too drunk to have good aim. My body started working again and I ran.

If I had been thinking clearly, I would have run to the Curtis' house. I wasn't thinking, though, and I was too shaken to care.

I ran back to April and Michael's house. I knew I couldn't go inside, though. April would ask questions. I was too shaken for her not to notice. So I went in the backyard and crossed a small bridge that was laid over a think creek. I walked part way into the woods, going up and then down a large hill so that I was unseen from April's view.

I grabbed my knees as I doubled over. I threw up as my stomach heaved.

Tears sprang to my eyes needlessly. I knew my parents didn't want me. I didn't want them. Why should I care?

It was official now, though. I was an unwanted child. Eventually April and Mike would give up on me, too. I'd be alone. I'd be on my own. There would be no one left to take care of me, not that there had been before April and Mike.

Unwanted. It made me feel so alone. I sank to my knees and cried. The one word still echoed in my head, taunting me with its meaning.

Unwanted. Unwanted. Unwanted. Unwanted.