Disclaimer::I own nothing but half the idea. lol
Chapter 14: Broken promises
Tatsuki lay dying on the street and stared up at the blue sky and wondered if there was a possibility that Orihime was looking up at the sky at that very moment wherever she was. Chizuru's words echoed through her head and she knew that Orihime would be devastated when she came back and learned of her death and more than she had original thought knowing that their love for each other was mutual. It pained her already strained heart to know she was going to cause Orihime such pain but then she realised her death would pain many other people and her thoughts turned to Yoruichi and more specifically their last fight against one another. As she thought about it she recalled inflicting a similar wound on the woman and once she recalled that she remember what that injury had done.
"Yoruichi…" She spoke weakly while glancing at her zanpakuto to find the white flames were only barely dancing on her blade now. "Forgive me… Orihime."
She forced her arm up and dragged the side of her blade along her wound to sear it shut, screaming out in pain in the process from the flames. The pain itself almost made her lose consciousness but Honoban kept her awake. Tatsuki panted heavily from the pain she had just inflicted on herself and the heat that was trapped inside her body from it. She winced and forced herself over to pick herself up and keep fighting but got no farther than one foot on the ground before her vision began to blur and she felt tire threatening to take her to a cold dark place. All she could do now was fight it and try to stay awake.
"I was curious about why you chose to fight a god but now I see you are friends with that girl." Aizen said with a smirk. "You don't even have the strength to stand now and you can barely maintain your shikai. If you're the best Yoruichi has to offer it's no wonder I defeated her so easily."
Tatsuki snapped her gaze to him with wide eyes momentarily forgetting her tire with the shock of Yoruichi's defeat then realised that if Aizen was here it was because everyone was defeated and he had not just gotten past them. She thought of the three people that had helped her with her training then everyone else that had been defeated and killed. She may not have known any of them at all but that didn't matter to her, they were still her allies in this war and even if she hadn't met them she still carried the weight of their defeat. Tatsuki brought her gaze back to the ground and knew with her current level of power she had no chance of defeating Aizen. 'Honoban, I need more of your power than I ever did before and I don't care what the cost will be.'
'This may forfeit your life.' Honoban said. 'Are you sure you want to do that?'
'Yeah.' Tatsuki thought. 'I'll die anyways but with that I might actually have a chance to kill him.'
'Very well then.' Honoban replied.
Tatsuki felt all of Honoban's energy and strength fill her and her reiatsu spilled out around her. The flames danced out around her and were out of her control and she knew that in order to do what she had to she had to take control right now. She didn't get to her feet knowing that would take too much out of her right now. Tatsuki closed her eyes and took in a deep breath to clear her mind of everything, every thought, every emotion, every memory, and focused solely on controlling this power. She envisioned the flames inside herself, raging hungrily, and focused on making them smaller until they were small enough to fit in the palm of her hand. At that very moment she knew she had it and opened her eyes to find Aizen watching her with amusement.
She forced herself to her feet and picked up her guard in one swift movement. Aizen smiled at her action but she paid it no mind at all. Her only focus was the small fire in her mind and that was it, everything else was instinct. Tatsuki took in a deep breath to feed the flames inside her a little and said, "Bankai."
The glimmering white flames on her blades sparked brightly and replaced the metal of her blades. This time she took notice to Aizens look of surprise and used it to her advantage while she could. He barely had time to block it and was pushed back by the force and the intense heat of her zanakutou. The heat was very intense that it even caused her straining body to sweat though she barely took the time to notice these things. She swung her zanpakutou again and again forcing Aizen to retreat little by little while he retrieved wounds from her blades. No blood was spilled on his part due to the instant searing of his flesh and every near miss scorched him.
Aizen dodged one of her attacks and forced her to jump back with a swing of his zanpakutou and began his own attacks against her. She blocked each one but never found an opening to attack. There was very little time between each of his attacks leaving her no chance to safely attack or even dodge his zanpakutou. The force of his swings made her block with both of her swords just to keep it from touching her and it soon became apparent that there was no way to protect herself anymore.
Tatsuki attacked at the same time Aizen did. His blade sank into her shoulder but with one blade blocking it she kept it from being more serious than it would have been if she took the attack full force. Her blade was stabbed in his stomach but it wasn't long before he pulled his blade out of her shoulder and kicked her away. She caught her footing and was about to go back to attack him when she felt a blade stab through her body just below her neck before she realised that Aizen was already in front of her holding his blade there.
"I must admit that this was impressive for a human without any soul reaper powers." Aizen said. "But I've toyed with you enough."
He removed the sword and Tatsuki fell to the ground with only the faintest of visions left to show her zanpakutou return to its original state. Then she was left in darkness but the heat of her zanpakutou continued to reside within her for a long time and faded slowly due to its intensity. The heat continued to reside in her for a long time before it was suddenly and abruptly torn away from her and she only felt cold surrounding her. No thoughts ran through her head but she felt conscious of the emptiness surrounding her for a very long time, if it was a long time, she had no way of knowing for sure.
Tatsuki opened her eyes and found only stiffness in everything she did, even her eyes hurt while they opened. She let out a deep breath and felt as though she had been holding it in for a very long time and when she took in air it felt like her first breath. Her gaze wandered around the small room and she found that the ceiling was collapsing and water dripped into the small wooden room from the hole making her wonder just where she had ended up. She didn't sit up to look around out of fear of what pain would spread throughout her body so she took it slowly and moved her fingers and toes first before moving up her body at a slow rate until she worked out the stiffness.
She began to sit up when she heard a door slide open making her look to the man that entered but only found his back to her while he closed the door. When he turned he stopped upon finding her awake and Tatsuki stared at his face with shock written all over her face. "You're awake, that's good news. Is your fever any better? You're still awfully pale."
"Fever?" Tatsuki asked not recalling having one at all but her shock took away most questions she could have at the moment. Looking at this man she knew for a fact that she was dead and since he was not a hollow she could only assume that she was in Soul Society. These things were known to her simply because she knew that this man had died years ago and though she could barely remember the incident she had been attacked by him when he was a hollow. How Sora was in Soul Society was beyond her but she didn't want to ask in case it led to a bad situation.
"Yes, I found you collapsed on the road days ago." Sora replied. "You were burning up so I brought you to my home to take care of you. It's strange though to see a soul reaper here and what's more surprising was that you did not have a zanpakutou with you."
"Honoban," Tatsuki said trying to sense his presence inside her but found he was absent. "He's gone…"
Sore watched her with an odd look before walking to her side and crouching down next to the mat she was on to place his wrist on her forehead to check for a fever. "You're still very warm, are you feeling alright?"
"No," Tatsuki said but forced herself up anyways. "But I need answers and I need to find a soul reaper."
"You should rest until you're better." Sora insisted and tried to force her back down.
"I'm not sick and I'm not actually a soul reaper." Tatsuki said and walked to the door where she stopped and her tone became sad. "I was killed by a man I fought. I need answers on what happened after that."
"The soul reapers won't have answers for you." Sora replied. "Chances are none of them will know."
"They will, the man I fought was Aizen and the soul reapers were fighting him too." Tatsuki said. "If my death meant something they would know."
"Then you will have to go to the Seireitei but you will not be allowed in." Sora replied. "If you are determined to try I will show you where to go."
Tatsuki nodded and Sora rose to lead her to her destination and she followed him. Along the way he introduced himself to her making her wonder if he remembered her at all but she introduced herself as well. While they walked through the streets Tatsuki looked around at all the housing and the people living here and found it strange how poor everyone was and found some angered looks towards her. She didn't understand why they were angry with her or if it was just because of Sora but everyone kept their distance from them and some people went as far as to cross the street just to avoid them. "You'll have to excuse them, no one in this district likes soul reapers much."
"Are soul reapers viewed that poorly?" Tatsuki asked. "I've only met a few so I can't really judge them as a group from that but they mostly kept to themselves except Rukia but that was just because she was friends with a few people."
"The soul reapers that come here tend to be arrogant and rude." Sora said. "They have no respect for us here and even go as far as to assault us if we get in the way. It's shameful but not all soul reapers are like that."
"I'm sure people like that are everywhere." Tatsuki said bitterly recalling people like that in the world of the living as well.
"Yes, but I'm sure you can see that they don't exactly give soul reapers a good name." Sora said and came to a stop, "This is it, but you won't get past the gate."
"Thank you for taking care of me." Tatsuki said.
She walked to the bridge not knowing what to expect on the other side but when she got close to it a wall came crashing down ahead of her and fell all along the river surrounding the Seireitei and a muscular man came crashing down not long after. He wore the robes of a soul reaper and called out to her, "Who dares try and enter the Seireitei? A soul reaper, what squad are you from?"
"I'm not a soul reaper." Tatsuki said and walked closer so she wouldn't have to shout to him but when she got closer her drew his sword. "I was killed recently by a man named Aizen. I just want answers about what happened after that. Can you tell me or do I have to talk to someone else?"
"I don't know much about what's been happening lately but you aren't getting past me without a permit no matter if you're telling the truth or not." He said.
"I am telling the truth." Tatsuki said. "I was trained by Shihouin Yoruichi and she gave me this robe. It has squad two's emblem on the hem."
"I don't know of anyone by that name." He said. "Leave, before I take your life."
Tatsuki was completely taken aback by the reaction and the lack of information this guard had. She thought quickly on other things to try and soon found one, "I'm friends with Ichigo Kurosaki and Rukia-"
"You can be friends with whoever you want it won't change a damned thing for you." He said. "Get lost."
She felt almost defeated until she felt a hand fall on her shoulder and with it utter defeat. Her gaze went to Sora and he said, "Come on, there's no use in trying when the outcome will always be the same no matter what you try."
"How can I get a permit?" Tatsuki asked.
"They aren't handed out." Sora said. "And I don't know anyone that's even seen one."
"That's just it then?" Tatsuki asked rhetorically. "I'm dead and I won't even know if my death meant anything to anyone. It just caused everyone painand especially Orihime."
"Orihime," Sora said slowly. "Is she a close friend of yours?"
"She's my best friend." Tatsuki said nervously hoping nothing bad would happen.
"Then I'm afraid she would be hurt the most unless you had someone else closer to you."
"No one," Tatsuki said. "But everyone I know might be dead now as well."
She looked away from Sora and walked away to clear her mind while thinking back on her fight against Aizen. There was never a chance for her to win against him and she did all that she could against him even managing to grasp her bankai but it hadn't been enough. The feeling that coursed through her when she achieved it was amazing but now that Honoban was no longer with her she doubted she would ever feel that way again and without him she couldn't become a soul reaper.
Tatsuki walked down to the river that separated the district from Seireitei and took a seat. She looked at her hands rather than the wall that separated her from what she wanted. The scars covering her arms had gotten worse and only proved how much she had pushed herself and given up for a chance to kill Aizen for what he had done only to be killed. She had put up a good fight but he was too fast for her though the wounds she gave him would have been more fatal then they appeared so she could only hope that they affected him to the point where it cost him his life later on in another battle. She could only hope now.
Her gaze went to the wall and noticed that Sora was standing next to her quietly so she spoke, "I'm sorry if I was being rude it's just that I gave up everything to protect my home and I don't even know if I was successful. In the middle of the fight I achieved my bankai and the wounds I inflicted may have done more damage than they appeared to since the flame of my zanpakutou is so hot it sears the wound shut. The wounds I inflicted on Aizen may have been fatal but right after I made it he stabbed me below the throat and I died when I hit the ground. The last thing I saw was my zanpakutou going back to its original state. I only got him twice but maybe those two times were enough."
"We may never know." Sora said. "Like I said earlier, to find out you would have to ask a soul reaper and you can't get into the Seireitei unless you have a travel pass."
"Or I am a soul reaper as well." Tatsuki said. "How do I become one?"
"You have to graduate at the academy but can you do it?" Sora asked.
"I achieved my shikai in five days and my bankai in a total of eight days of having my zanpakutou." Tatsuki said and stood up with a new determination. "Point me in the direction of this academy. I'll graduate in half the time it takes anyone else."
"Unfortunately I don't know where it is and how can you graduate without a zanpkutou?" Sora asked crushing her determination in half. "Is your sword just going to appear?"
Tatsuki looked at him recalling her ability to summon her zanpakutou making her wonder how that had slipped her mind. She focused on her zanpakutou's spirit, envisioning Honoban was sitting in front of her and waiting for her to call for him and she did just that, "Mezamemasu, Honoban"
She closed her eyes and focused even more but Honoban did not come to her this time and she could not sense him anywhere so she tried entering her inner world but even that proved to be useless. She couldn't enter it without Honoban and he was no longer with her so she had no way of finding him and possibly no way of using any of the abilities she had worked so hard to gain. "I can't even feel his presence anymore."
"Then you may not be able to become a soul reaper." Sora said.
"Yeah, so that just leaves finding one and getting answers from him." Tatsuki said. "Where do they normally hang out when they come here?"
"At a small bar not far from here." Sora said. "By this time if they are there they'd be rowdy. Are you sure you want to face them like that?"
"I'm not going to wait around for them to sober up." Tatsuki said. "Show me where they are."
Sore sighed and led her back up the hill, "I hope you're as strong as you say you are but without a zanpakutou it may be difficult for you."
"I can handle myself just fine." Tatsuki said confidently.
"If you say so." He said and led her into the darkening streets.
While they walked Tatsuki searched within her for any trace of reiatsu she may have left and found only a little amount but if she could materialise it onto her arms like she did for her swords she might be able to use it against her opponents. She tried to get a better hold of it and found it slip through her fingers like sand so she told herself to make it denser so she could grasp at it and use it. The more focus she put into it the more she found she could get a hold of making her smirk with the knowledge that she might be able to grasp her abilities again. She looked at her hand and tried to let some of her reiatsu encase her arm and found it did but she did not allow any flames dance on her arms like it did when she used Sho-bo. To her this was a good sign that told her she hadn't lost much and she might still have her speed at her disposal too.
Angered shouts brought her away from her thoughts and made her look up to find that they had arrived and already the harassment of the soul reapers became evident. A soul reaper stood above another man that had been thrown to the ground. The soul reaper was yelling at him over some pointless matter and it was clear that he believed himself to be superior to the people around him. No one stood up against him at all and everyone around tried to keep their distance and kept their gaze even further away showing the oppression.
Tatsuki walked over to him angrily, "Hey, why don't you fight someone that's actually willing to fight you?"
The soul reaper looked at her and the other man took advantage of the distraction to run away but it didn't go unnoticed though the soul reaper showed no interest in pursuing him and just walked over to Tatsuki and took her from the hem of her robes, "Who the hell do you think you are talking to me like that? Squad two, huh. What's a shadow bastard like you doing here? Does Captain Soi Fong have some interest in these low lives?"
He laughed at the thought but Tatsuki didn't react to his insult with angered shouts and instead just grabbed his wrists and twisted them while turning her body to throw him off of her, "Don't talk so lowly of squad two. I may not be an actual soul reaper but when I am you can sure as hell bet I'll be in squad two!"
"If you're not a soul reaper," He started while getting up. "Why the hell are you wearing a shihakusho?"
"Yoruichi gave it to me when she trained me." Tatsuki said. "Now I'm going to tell you what's going to happen, I'm going to kick your ass then you're going to answer some questions I have."
The soul reaper burst out laughing at her statement, "Do you have any idea who I am? I'm the great Eiji of the eleventh squad. The eleventh squad is the strongest in all of the Gotei thirteen and we-"
She cut him off using flash step to attack him with an open hand strike to the chest sending him to the ground where he coughed for air. Tatsuki took up a martial arts stance in case he chose to attack her again but while she waited she asked, "Do you know what happened to Aizen?"
"Why does that matter to you?" He asked angrily and ran at her.
"It matters because I fought against him to protect Karakura but he killed me." Tatsuki said and blocked his fist and struck him again. "I want to know if my death meant anything!"
He stumbled back from her attack and looked her in the eye, "He's been imprisoned and Karakura's just fine. I heard it was a human named Kurosaki that aided in his defeat and you're not him."
A spark of jealous anger filled her knowing that Ichigo had beaten Aizen while she didn't even have a chance against him even though she knew he had been at this a lot longer than she had. "Were there many casualties?"
"Just a few in weaker squads." He replied. "You said you were from Karakura correct?"
"Yes." Tatsuki replied and dropped her guard.
"I don't recall hearing about any reported deaths among the living or soul reapers there." He said watching her carefully.
Tatsuki's eyes widened, "But that's impossible I died. Aizen stabbed me in the chest and I lost my life when I hit the ground. I felt my life end while I fell."
"Then maybe it just wasn't reported or your body wasn't found." He replied. "But hell, I don't know all the details."
"Then take me to someone who would know!" Tatsuki demanded.
"No way, there's no way you'd even be allowed in the Seireitei and no captain or vice-captain would come out here to clear the matter up for you." He said. "Just do yourself a favor and get a new life. Before you know it you'll forget all about your life in the human world just like everyone else does and don't let me see you around here again."
"I'm the one that should be saying that to you." Tatsuki said as he walked away.
She watched him walk back to the Seireitei despite sensing all the eyes on her now. Tatsuki knew they must have been curious with her actions and her claim of not being a soul reaper despite wearing a squad two shihakusho. Regardless of the fact she still wore the beat up robes with pride and didn't plan on replacing them any time soon and hoped to keep the pride of these robes even after her memory of life faded away. She understood now that Sora hadn't even the slightest clue that they had met or that her best friend was his little sister but after he had attacked her as a hollow she didn't want to speak to him of the connection or his relation to Orihime, in fact she thought it might be best to avoid talking about her all together after his small silence when she spoke her beloved friend's name.
"Sora, would you mind if I stayed at your home for a little while until I can find another place to stay." Tatsuki said.
"The way things work here is a little different from the human world, Tatsuki." He said. "Here souls come together and make their own family even if they aren't related since there aren't enough houses for everyone. The two people I lived with before are no longer living in my home, one died and the other went off to try and become a soul reaper a few months ago. You're more than welcome to stay as long as you want."
"We'll see." Tatsuki said. "There are things I need to figure out while I still can."
"You won't lose your memory for about three months so don't rush your thoughts too much or it'll just lead to misunderstandings." Sora said reassuringly.
"That's good to know." Tatsuki said. "But I'd like to do this first so maybe I can find some peace in death."
"That will come when you accept this world." Sora said. "Come on, let's go home."
Tatsuki nodded and followed him back to his home in what she assumed was the center of the district and found that even more eyes were on her but she didn't look at the people watching her. She didn't want to know what looks they were giving her and she didn't want to meet their eyes just yet in case it frightened them even more. It would be nice if they didn't remain afraid of her but she wouldn't pursue their friendship or go out of her way to change their opinion. If possible she hoped to travel to the soul reaper academy as soon as possible and get into Seireitei, not just to become a soul reaper and find the answers she sought but also in hopes of being able to see Orihime once again and if she were lucky she would be able to tell the girl how she felt. But then there was a chance that she would forget her own feelings and that was the last thing that she wanted to happen.
They reached Sora's house and she was led in to a side room with a round floor table. He motioned her to it while he went to the other side of the room to make them some tea. Tatsuki remained silent and looked at her scarred hands and arms with a discontent look and wondered if she could regain her zanpakutou or if this was all she would have to remember Honoban if he too faded from her memory. She didn't want him to and she didn't want to lose any of her friends either. She remembered her last couple weeks of life where she had been more focused on her training than her friends and wished she had taken some time to spend with them knowing now that a couple hours wouldn't have changed anything.
She remembered her last conversation with Chizuru and wondered if she had forced Orihime into a relationship or if she was respecting her death and grieving for a while before taking Orihime. She wanted to find a way back even if it were only temporary so she could see Orihime one last time and tell her everything she felt and accomplished for her. It was almost ironic that she had done so much for Orihime just to lose her life the day she would have returned home. The thought saddened her and made her wonder if it would have been better for her to have denied Yoruichi's offer of training even though she had never been more proud of her strength.
A small smile formed on her face knowing that she would have accepted even if she knew her fate. It was better to die giving it your all than being killed in ignorance and not doing a thing to help anyone. If Yoruishi had told her from the start that she wold be killed she would have pushed herself even more to get stronger rather than just doing what she could in hopes of making Yoruichi proud like she noticed she did on more than one occasion and would have focused more on taking control of her reiatsu like she had done in her fight against Aizen. If she had been able to do that from the beginning she was certain there would have been less limitations to her training but she feared what she would face and what her powers were really capable of but most of all, she was terrified of harming Orihime with her reiatsu. That fear had limited her so much in her training and she was sure now that if she didn't have that fear she would have achieved her shikai much sooner.
"Your tea is going to get cold if you keep staring off into space." Sora said.
Tatsuki looked away from her hands and found that there was a clay cup of hot tea in front of her, "Sorry, I was just reflecting on the last couple weeks of my life."
"Do you want to talk about it?" Sora asked. "I don't mean to pry into your life but it isn't every day that one encounters someone with fresh memories of life."
"There's this friend I have that I would do anything for," Tatsuki started. "But she was taken from me by a man I never even met. It wasn't from me though but everyone, at the time I wasn't even involved in everything but I was approached by a woman named Yoruichi. She offered to train me and explained the situation my friend was in. Back in middle school I made a promise to always protect this friend but she had gained these abilities that put in her into situations that I couldn't protect her from so when I was given the offer to become strong enough to protect her again I couldn't refuse.
"From that moment until the day before I died I trained to become stronger. Even when I was at school I had weights on my body restricting my movements so I could move faster. Day by day I achieved so much that Yoruichi even called me a protégée. That compliment made me feel happy and also made me realise that for the first time in a long time I would be able to protect my friend again but even after that I gave my training everything I had to improve myself even more so that when it came down to protecting her she wouldn't have to worry at all. I made such amazing progress that I felt invincible but Yoruichi really made me open my eyes about actual life or death situations since she had always held back on me and made me realise the consequence of fighting."
Tatsuki fell silent for a moment and clenched her fists on the table, "I never realised the real dangers of my powers until I woke up and found that my own reiatsu had scarred my arms. During my fight against Aizen I was wounded even more and to stop the bleeding I even seared my wound shut just so that I could keep fighting but I could barely get up after that and I broke a promise I made to Yoruichi. I offered Honoban my life for bankai to fight Aizen even though I knew by doing that I would never see my friend again. It was about more than just her though and I realised that too late. It wasn't just her that I had to protect it was all of Karakura because if I didn't everyone would have died. Since Aizen was at least defeated my death wasn't a complete waste since I bought the others enough time to get there."
Sora looked at her with surprise and eventually found his voice to speak, "That is quite a story for a human life."
"I guess so." Tatsuki chuckled. "That's why I want to get to the soul reaper academy as soon as possible so that maybe I can see my friend again as well as everyone else I know in the living world. I don't want to haunt them or anything just tell them why I sacrificed myself. I want them to know what it was for so that maybe they can understand."
"That is an understandable desire but it takes years to become a soul reaper, not months." Sora said. "I'm afraid by the time you finish you will have forgotten your life as a human and your friends will have forgotten any importance your death may have had and if you somehow manage to tell them what will it mean then?"
Tatsuki let out a sigh and sipped her tea and felt saddened by the news that to almost everyone she knew her death was indeed meaningless but as long as she knew the truth she was ok with that. "My death may be harder for me to accept than I originally thought."
"I'm sorry, I just do not want you to get your hopes up too high." Sora said sadly.
"It's fine." Tatsuki said and stood up. "If you don't mind I'd like to be alone for a while."
"Of course," Sora said.
Tatsuki left the small house and walked down the street finding even less people on it now but she cared little for them. She looked in the direction of Seireitei and wondered if she would be fast enough to sneak in with flash step when the gate returned to the sky, if it ever did go back up there. The thought was considered for a while before she gave up on it knowing that if the same guard were to appear it would just be trouble for her and he would be more likely to attack her the next time so she would play it safe and just become a soul reaper no matter how long it took her she would find the academy and enroll then do whatever it took to graduate as fast as she could. When she was a soul reaper she would join squad two and do whatever it was that she had to do in that squad.