Scene opens in Monica and Chandler's living room. Joey, Chandler, and Monica are sitting on the couch. Jack and Erica are in the rolling bassinet next to them. Ross and Rachel are sitting in an armchair. Mike and Phoebe are sitting in the loveseat.
Monica: I love that we can still hang out like this!
Rachel: I know, it's so great. I thought I wouldn't be able to see you guys once you moved.
Phoebe: Yeah, I would have missed Chandler's annoying jokes.
Mike: I wouldn't have.
All look at him.
Mike: What? I hang out with you guys all the time. I'm not allowed to have an opinion?
Theme song and title sequence plays. Scene opens at Central Perk. Ross and Rachel are sitting on the couch, drinking coffee. Gunther walks up to them.
Gunther: So you guys are back together again?
Rachel: Yes.
Gunther nods and then cringes as he turns and walks away.
Ross: You know, I've been thinking…about us.
Rachel: And?
Ross: I think…I mean, I don't want to jeopardize our relationship, but I think it would be better if… you don't have to, I just thought, you know, it might be nice if…if it's not too soon, we could-
Rachel: Spit it out, Ross!
Ross: Will you move in with me?
Rachel: Oh my god…
Ross: I know, we've only technically been dating for a few weeks, but with the history-
Rachel: Yes! Yes, Ross, I want to move in with you.
Ross: You do?
Rachel: Of course! Oh, I love you.
They kiss. A muffin hits them. Ross and Rachel look up. Gunther is standing at the counter, looking suspicious. Scene ends and opens in Chandler and Monica's kitchen. Monica is looking through the refrigerator and Chandler is looking in the pantry.
Chandler: When was the last time you went grocery shopping?
Monica: I don't know…a month?
Chandler: And Joey's been here every night?
Monica: He can't have come over every night, or we wouldn't have this ketchup.
Monica holds up a bottle of ketchup.
Chandler: So we have no food other than the ketchup?
Monica: I think there's some cinnamon in the pantry.
Chandler: No, Joey ate that because he thought it was powdered root beer.
Monica: Well if we have no food, then let's just go and raid his fridge.
Chandler: But that's an hour away.
Monica: It's an hour's worth of revenge!
Chandler: Why don't we just go out to eat?
Monica: Because I'm a chef. It's insulting for me to eat food prepared by someone else.
Chandler: Since when?
Monica: Since just now when I had to think up an argument against you!
Chandler kisses Monica.
Monica: You're just trying to distract me.
Chandler: You're right. That's the only reason I have for kissing my wife.
Monica: Why don't you want to go to Joey's?
Chandler: Because…you can't go in his fridge.
Monica: Why not?
Chandler: Because I used to use it.
Monica: So?
Chandler: I don't want you to see what's in there.
Monica: Why? What's in there?
Chandler: I can't tell you.
Monica: You're not going to tell me?
Chandler: Nope.
Monica: Fine then. I'll just call Joey.
Monica picks up the phone and begins to dial.
Chandler: No! Wait, Monica…it's…There are dead puppies in that fridge!
Monica: Sweetie, what are you trying to cover up that's worse than dead puppies?
Chandler: Uh…a jar of Janice's fingernails!
Monica: You mean the long, red ones that she would TAP, TAP, TAP-
Chandler: Okay, it's not Janice's fingernails!
Monica: You don't say.
Scene ends and opens at Phoebe and Mike's apartment. Phoebe and Mike are sitting on the couch watching TV.
Phoebe: You know how we've been trying to have a baby?
Mike: We have?
Phoebe: Well, I was just thinking, maybe we should go to the fertility clinic, to see if we can have children.
Mike: Phoebe, we've only been trying for three weeks.
Phoebe: Yeah, but it doesn't take three weeks to make a baby. And, if we want to adopt, it's better if we start early.
Mike: No, there really isn't a reason to.
Phoebe: But…you didn't have any kids in your first marriage.
Mike: That's because my wife didn't want kids. Remember how depressed she was? Whenever I mentioned babies, she started sobbing.
Phoebe: Yeah, well- I just really want children.
Mike: Tell you what. If, in a year, you still aren't pregnant, we'll go get the fertility tests done.
Phoebe: Okay.
Scene ends and opens at Central Perk. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch, Ross is sitting in the armchair, and Rachel is standing behind him with her hands on the back of the chair.
Rachel: We've got big news.
Chandler: Does it involve supermodels or hamburgers?
Rachel: No.
Chandler: Okay, we don't need to get Joey.
Rachel: Ross and I are moving in together.
Chandler: You're moving out of Joey's apartment?
Rachel: Yes.
Chandler: Yeah, I still don't think we need to get him.
Monica: Rachel, this is great!
Rachel: I know!
Monica: Chandler, don't we have some boxes that she can use?
Chandler: But she's just moving across the hall.
Monica: Yes, but it would be nice to give them to her.
Monica gives Chandler a look.
Chandler: But then she would have the hassle of getting rid of them, like we- Oh…Yeah, Rachel, we have some boxes you can use.
Monica: I'll go get them!
Monica and Chandler exit.
Ross: You know, now you'll have lived with everybody but Chandler.
Rachel: Wow. This is…amazing. I mean, ten years ago, I was in a chapel, about to get married, and now…I'm dating the guy who had a crush on me in high school, living in an apartment in the city, surrounded by friends…I feel like I'm right back where I was in high school. Only…better. This is…life-changing.
A pause.
Ross: I'm gonna go get a muffin.
Ross stands up and heads toward the counter. Scene ends and opens in Joey's apartment. Joey is answering the door. Monica and Chandler enter with piles of folded boxes.
Monica: Hey, Joey. These are for Rachel.
Monica places the boxes on the counter. Chandler dumps his pile on the floor.
Joey: Chandler, look what you did! You made a huge mess all over the floor. Now I have to pick it up!
Chandler and Joey laugh and high-five.
Joey: You want some soda?
Monica: Sure.
Joey opens the refrigerator and chuckles.
Monica: Okay, what is in there?
Joey: Janice's fingernails!
Chandler: It's too late for that.
Monica: Fine! If you guys won't tell me, then I'll just see for myself.
Chandler jumps in front of the refrigerator.
Chandler: No! You can't!
Monica: Why not?
Chandler: Because it's your birthday present!
Monica: Why do you need to keep it in the refrigerator?
Joey: Because it's an ice sculpture! Carved out of ice!
Monica walks toward the refrigerator.
Monica: Alright, I'm getting to the bottom of this.
Joey: It's actually at the back-
Chandler: Joey!
Enter Rachel and Ross.
Rachel: What are you guys doing?
Monica: I'm trying to see what Chandler put in Joey's refrigerator.
Rachel: It's a jar of Janice's fingernails.
Chandler: That isn't going to work, Rachel, but I'm glad you're so dedicated.
Rachel: What? I thought there were Janice's fingernails! Okay, whose jar of nails is in there?
Joey: Oh, yeah, I keep my toenails in there so they don't smell.
Rachel: Ew!
Chandler: See, Monica, that's why I don't want you to see the inside of Joey's refrigerator.
Monica: Fine. I'll just go and help Rachel start packing.
Monica begins to walk away. Chandler and Joey heave a sigh of relief and walk away from the refrigerator.
Monica: Aha!
Monica runs to the refrigerator and opens it.
Monica: Milk, beer, Joey's toenails, and- Oh my god!
Monica steps back from the refrigerator and turns to Chandler.
Monica: You keep a picture of Yasmine Bleeth in your refrigerator?!
Chandler: Yes, yes, but I never use this refrigerator anymore! I haven't looked at that picture in five years!
Monica: Really? You haven't been using Joey's refrigerator because you don't want to look at that picture?
Chandler: Well, I want to- But I'd much rather be looking at you, dear.
Monica: Okay.
Chandler and Monica hug.
Chandler: So, you're not mad?
Monica: I'm mad. It's just that I really don't want to miss an opportunity to pack stuff.
Monica picks up the boxes on the floor and the boxes on the counter and walks towards Rachel's room.
Monica: Come on, Rachel. We'll start with your room.
Rachel: That's the only place where I have stuff.
Monica: Then we'll end in your room, too!
Rachel: Monica, can you start without me? I kind of want to go over and clear out my space in Ross's apartment.
Ross: Oh, honey, you can share my space.
Joey: Wait, Rache- you're moving?
Rachel: Yeah- Ross and I are moving in together.
Joey: You're leaving?
Rachel: Joey, I'll be right across the hall.
Joey (looking like he's about to cry): I know. Yeah, it's okay. I'm fine. You can move…just…leave me all alone!
Joey cries and hugs Rachel.
Rachel: Oh, Joey, you won't be alone. I'll see you every day.
Joey: Why does everybody want to move away from me?
Rachel: Everybody doesn't want to move away from you!
Joey: Yes they are! Alright, from now on, no more moving! Everybody just stays where they are!
Chandler: Do you mean where we're standing? Because I have to use the bathroom…
Joey: You can go.
Chandler exits to Joey's bathroom.
Joey: I just don't want to be alone.
Monica: Joey, Chandler and I moved an hour away from you, and we still see you every day. Rachel's just moving across the hall. Remember, she used to live there and you still saw her every day.
Joey: It's not about just seeing her, it's about…saying goodnight, and watching movies and stuff.
Rachel: Oh, Joey, we can still do all that. You can come over every night to say goodnight if you want to.
Joey: Really?
Rachel: Of course, Joey.
Joey: Thanks.
Joey and Rachel hug.
Monica: When you're done consoling Joey, you have to come pack your things.
Scene ends and opens in Ross's apartment. Rachel is carrying a box into the living room. Ross is standing in front of her.
Rachel: Okay…this is the last box.
Rachel sets it down on the ground.
Ross: Welcome to your new home.
Rachel: Actually, this was my home before, so…I'm sort of coming back to it.
Ross: Alright then, welcome back.
They kiss.
Rachel: Oh my god, we're living together.
Ross: I know.
Enter Joey. Joey runs to the living room.
Joey: Goodnight, Rachel!
Rachel: Goodnight, Joey.
Joey exits. Scene ends and opens at Phoebe and Mike's apartment. Phoebe is coming through the door. Mike is standing in the kitchen holding a cookie sheet with cookies on it and wearing an apron.
Mike: Hi! I made cookies!
Phoebe: Oh, Mike, you didn't have to do that!
Phoebe takes a bite of a cookie.
Phoebe: Oh, but you so did! These are amazing!
Mike: Yeah, it's my grandmother's recipe. I'm gonna go shower.
Mike exits. Phoebe sits leans on the counter and takes another bite of the cookie. A confused expression crosses her face.
Phoebe: Hm.
Phoebe pulls a pill out of her mouth and examines it. Her eyes widen. Credits appear on the screen.
CREDITS SCENE:
Scene opens in Monica and Chandler's kitchen. It is dark. Chandler is opening the refrigerator.
Chandler: Monica! You put a picture of George Clooney in the refrigerator?!
END OF SHOW