Ten Minutes

by KodiRae

Ten minutes is considered a fast response time, if the police can get anywhere and assess the situation in ten minutes they're doing their job. A lot can happen in ten minutes, a lot of lives can be lost in ten minutes, a lot of lives can be changed in ten minutes.

14. Chapter 14

Stef –

Lena and I checked on Callie every hour, but she was fine. She was better than fine, she was great. She slept through the entire night, and woke up with a smile on her face. Lena and I worked like a well-oiled machine. We woke her up, helped her shower, got her dressed, and sat beside her at the table as she ate breakfast.

"Do you know what day it is, Callie?" Lena asked, handing me a cup of coffee.

"Monday?" Callie answered.

"It's Christmas Eve!" Lena exclaimed excitedly. Callie's face paused with confusion, then lit up.

"Really? Christmas?" She looked between me and Lena as if she was expecting one of us to yell, 'April Fools!'

"Yeah! Do you want to open your first present?" I asked, reaching down for a bag under the table.

"I thought I would open them tomorrow?" She hesitated. "Today is Christmas Eve, not Christmas?" She tried to explain.

"You're right." Lena and I chuckled a bit. "You don't have to open it if you don't want to."

"I do!" She exclaimed. I placed the gift bag on the table and nudged it towards Callie. She took her last bite of yogurt and pulled the bag closer as Lena injected the medications into her feeding tube.

She struggled to get the box out of the bag for a few minutes before she finally pulled her gift free. She turned it in her hands before trying to peel the tape off the sides. Her fingers trembled too much for her to be able to open the box, Lena helped a little. Callie opened it eagerly and pulled out a heavy, black camera. Her face was one of complete shock. She placed the camera on the table and pulled the lens out of the box.

"For me? Really?" She asked, looking astounded at the gift before her. "But, it's expensive." She muttered.

"No, it wasn't." I said quickly. It was the truth, it was a gift that had been dropped off for her at the police station. We donated all the other gifts to the hospital or rehab center, but this one was too good to give away. It was expensive, and it was something Callie would love. More than anything, it was something we felt Callie needed. She had just started to express herself through photography before the shooting, and with her sudden loss of language skills it seemed she needed it more than ever. Callie stared at it for a few more moments, before putting the lens on and pushing a few buttons. A small musical chime erupted and the camera turned on.

"Stand next to Momma." She said with a smile, holding the camera up awkwardly. She managed to balance it strangely in her left hand so that she could press the button with her thumb on her right hand.

I stood behind Lena and wrapped my arms around her shoulders. The camera shook a little before Callie managed to put enough pressure on the button under her thumb to successfully take a picture. She looked down at the screen and smiled.

"Can we see it?"

"No." She turned the camera off and left her hand resting on it. "I love it, thank you." She whispered. I looked down at my phone, Jude is usually the first to wake up, but that could still be a few hours away.

"Let's get our physical therapy out of the way, yeah?" I suggested. "We have a few more hours before anyone else wakes up." I was expecting resistance, or some sort of silent protest, but Callie agreed immediately and started to move her chair towards the living room.

"I'll start breakfast and get the kitchen ready for cookies and dinner while you two finish that. Call me if you need anything." Lena said with a bright smile. She kissed me and started cleaning up the kitchen.

I followed Callie into the hallway, and she even seemed stronger today. I still had to help her stand and walk, but it felt like I was holding less of her. I helped her lay down on the floor and we went through a series of stretches. I tried to keep a straight face as Callie winced and groaned in pain, but it hurt my heart.

We struggled through an hour of exercises, but Callie was in the best mood I had seen since the accident. She did every single exercise and worked her absolute hardest. It was unrealistic to assume this is how she would be once she got home, but the prospect that things could be this good once a month made me feel confident that we could be successful with Callie home.

"There we go, we did it." I exclaimed after Callie did her last rep of bicycles.

"I need some ice." She sighed. I jumped up and grabbed the set of icepacks that had been sent home with her. She laid on the floor, with ice on most of her body, and closed her eyes.

"You have enough time to take a nap if you need one, Cal." She shook her head a little.

"I'm not tired. Just sore." I laid on the floor beside her, and stared at the ceiling.

"You're an amazing kid, you know that right?" I blurted out, Callie opened her eyes and looked at me. She hadn't understood what I said. "I love you."

"I love you, too." She smiled a little and started to sit up. "Are we making cookies?"

"Yeah, Jude wants to. It'll be after the kids eat breakfast." I helped her sit up and let her lean against me.

"Awesome." She exclaimed. I saw her pause as if she was going to add a thought, but the words never formed. I grabbed her ankle braces and shoes from her suitcase next to the couch and put the one on her left foot. I started to put her right foot in her brace and she flinched and jerked away.

"What's wrong?" I asked looking down at the brace to see if something looked out of the ordinary.

"Tight." Callie muttered reaching down and rubbing her calf. I looked at the brace again. She had had these for a month, nothing had changed about them, and then I looked down at her leg and saw what she meant. Each muscle looked as though it was activated at the same time. It looked painful and nearly impossible to move.

"Let's lay down on your stomach, is that okay?" She nodded. I picked up her right leg and gently ran my thumbs across her calf, trying to loosen up the muscles causing her trouble. She whimpered a little, but didn't move away.

"Hey, when do I get one?" Lena asked sitting down beside us. "What's going on there?" She asked, looking down at the obvious spasm in Callie's leg. "It could be a seizure." She whispered.

"No, I don't think so. It's reacting to the pressure I put on it." I answered lessening the amount of pressure I was using to dig into Callie's leg. "I think it's an ortho problem."

"Should I call someone?"

"No, not yet. If I can get it to go away, we'll mention it when we take her back. If it comes back, we'll call then. Can you warm up some of those ice packs? I think heat will help a lot." Lena picked up the ice packs to put them in the freezer and turned a few into heating pads. She came back as I pressed harder into Callie's calf and she flinched.

"Cal, is this too hot?" I asked laying them across her leg. She shook her head and stayed there with her eyes closed. "I think she's fine. Maybe it's just because of physical therapy, she might have pushed too hard, and it's not a huge deal. She can still put the leg brace on."

"What's wrong with Callie?" Jude asked, rubbing sleep from his eyes. Callie's head jerked up and she smiled.

"It's Christmas Eve, Jude." She exclaimed.

"She's fine, we just had some stuff to work on. Cal, can you roll onto your back?" I managed to get her foot into the brace without trouble and we moved her back into the wheelchair in the hall.

"Momma made breakfast." She said, moving to the table and sitting next to Jude. She watched Lena move around the kitchen. "Mom?" She asked, turning to me.

"Yes, baby?" I answered, rolling out sugar cookie dough.

"I – I think I'm hungry?" She sounded confused, Lena turned around and looked at me.

"Really?" She asked after an extended silence. Callie hadn't had an appetite since the shooting. Even when she ate at meal times she did it because we told her to, not because she was hungry. "Well, you can have some Jell-O, yogurt, ice-cream, soup." Lena listed off eagerly. Callie froze for a moment.

"Can you show me?" Callie asked after a few moments. Lena pulled out all her options and placed them on the table. Callie pointed to the chicken noodle soup, Lena was eager to make it for her. She strained out all the solids and placed half a cup of broth in a bowl.

"If you want some more, just let us know. Okay?" Lena had a huge smile on her face as she placed the bowl and spoon in front of Callie. "Eat slow." She watched nervously as Cal took the first couple bites. Lena added the calories from the soup to her meal chart. She ate while Jude was eating and the two of them talked about decorating cookies.

Lena stopped moving around the kitchen and stood beside me. We stared at Jude and Callie as they talked freely. Jude started to figure out how to make his sentences shorter and he made sure he was looking at Callie when he talked to her. They were trying to plan out the whole day, some way to fit every single Christmas like tradition in the handful of hours that were left in the day.

"It's a great day." I whispered to Lena. "We haven't had a great day before."

"We've had good days." Lena argued, she was right we had good days before. Days where Callie made it through therapy without expressing frustrations and she didn't have seizures or pain that made it almost impossible for her to get out of bed.

"Yeah, but today is great." I smiled. Tears filled Lena's eyes and I held her as tightly as I could.

"Whatever you made for breakfast smells awesome." Mariana said sitting down at the table. It had to be a damn Christmas miracle. Mariana was down stairs before noon and eating. She piled healthy portions on her plate and joined in the conversation with Callie and Jude. She started describing the Christmas lights we were going to see tonight.

"They always have something amazing, there's usually a theme throughout the entire neighborhood. The last year we went it was like Halloween, but Christmas. It was really cool. There are thousands of lights." She exclaimed. Jude was bouncing in excitement and Callie was beaming.

Jesus and Brandon came down stairs and began to eat. Lena and I joined them and we all began suggesting different Christmas traditions to add to the ones we already had. A system developed where two or three people would say something, then we would pause to give Callie time. She would either nod or add something and the conversation would continue as if this system had been in place for years.

Lena and I held hands tightly under the table. If this was as healthy as Callie would ever be, we could handle this. My phone chimed and I excused myself from the table. Our lawyer's name popped up on the caller ID and my stomach plummeted.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Stef?"

"Yes. Callie's home this weekend, what's going on?"

"We have a meeting with Mr. Quinn and the judge on Monday. Can you and Lena make it?"

"Callie's going back to the rehab center Monday, can't this wait?"

"I'm sorry. It can't. Will you be there?"

"Yes, of course." I muttered. "Just – Just email me the information and I'll be there. Lena has to stay with Callie."

"Right, I understand. I'll tell the judge. Thanks, Stef. Merry Christmas."

"Thanks. Merry Christmas." I answered, and ended the call. I went into the bathroom and sat down on the edge of the tub and focused on breathing. I tried to remember what our therapist had told me to help stay in control of my anxiety, but all I could think of was how Callie was going to be taken away from me. She was going to leave and I was never going to see her again.

My heart pounded in my ears and my breath hitched in my throat. I could hear breakfast continuing without me, but all I could think about was Callie. Callie being taken away, Callie distraught as she was dragged away, Callie dying in an ambulance. My eyes flew open and I splashed cool water on my face to stop the thoughts.

I stared at myself in the mirror. Callie is fine. I thought over and over. She's great, she's sitting right outside the door. She's happy. I thought it until my body seemed convinced it was true. I washed my face one more time and fixed a smile onto it.

Callie –

I swallowed the last spoonful of soup in the bowl and pushed it away so I could rest my arms on the table.

"Do you want some more, Callie?" Lena asked, jumping up from her spot at the table.

"More?" Everyone else was talking about Christmas carols and I couldn't understand what I was supposed to want more of.

"Some more food?"

"No thanks, I'm really full." I answered quickly. It was true, my stomach kind of hurt, but I would have loved to be able to eat bacon and eggs with everyone else.

"I'm proud of you." She whispered, kissing my head and putting my bowl in the sink. Stef came back into the dining room and sat back down. Her eyes were red, she had been crying. The way the table got really quiet let me know everyone else had noticed too. Lena looked up and they seemed to have a conversation without talking. I could hardly follow conversations with words and this one that just happened without words was impossible for me to follow.

"Alright, who's going to help Momma clean the kitchen?" Stef asked as everyone finished breakfast in silence. That seemed to break the tension in the house and Jude jumped up to help. "Did you eat that whole bowl of soup, Callie?" Stef asked leaning in closer to me with a fake smile.

"Yeah."

"Awesome, how are you feeling today?"

"Fine." Stef paused for a moment. "What's wrong?"

"You seem to be feeling really good today?"

"No, what's wrong with you?" I probed. "You're sad."

"I'm okay." She answered. I shook my head. "I promise, it's just a mom problem." Mom problems were usually problems with me. She had probably gotten test results from a doctor and something was wrong with me.

"Am I okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"Was that a doctor?"

"No, nope. No doctors, you're doing great, Cal." I tried to formulate my next question in my head. She knew what I was trying to ask, but she was stubbornly ignoring me. "I promise I'm okay. It's a mom problem, not a Callie problem." She squeezed my shoulder and walked away so I couldn't ask her anything else.

I took a deep breath and tried to keep my frustration under control. Today was Christmas Eve, today was for everyone. It was my first Christmas with the Fosters. It was my first time being home in months, I needed to keep it together. I squeezed the armrests of my chair tightly and counted to ten over and over.

"Alright, first batch of cookies." Lena laid all the ingredients out in front of me and Jude stood beside the table reading the recipe. I focused on Jude, the joy radiating from him, make today special for him. I breathed through the last of the frustration and focused on Jude's words. I missed most of them, but Mariana stood on the other side of me and followed his orders.

I watched as they rolled out the cookie dough before Jude tried to hand me a metal object in the shape of a tree. "What's this?" I asked, turning it in my hands.

"It's a cookie cutter, makes the cookies look like a Christmas tree." Jesus said excitedly, picking up a cookie cutter in the shape of a star. "See, check it out." He pressed the cookie cutter down on the dough and pulled it away to reveal a star. I carefully placed the tree down on the dough and used two hands to press the cutter down, I pulled it away and tried to pull the cut out dough away from the rest. I couldn't hold it softly, I either pinched it too hard and deformed the tree or held it too soft and dropped it.

"Here we go, you cut all the trees and I'll put them on the cookie sheet." Mariana said quickly. I nodded and went across cutting out little trees. By the time I made it to the end of the dough my arms were trembling.

"Callie, do you want to cut out snowmen next?" Jude asked happily, handing the baking sheet to Lena.

"No, no. I can't." I said softly. Jude just nodded and handed the snowman to Jesus. Once the cookies started coming out of the oven a tub of icing was placed on the table with a load of sprinkles.

I focused on decorating the tree placed in front of me. I wanted it to be perfect, but my hands shook viciously. I knew it was normal, but it was frustrating as I tried to put stripes on my tree. "That looks great, Cal." Stef said leaning over my shoulder.

"Thanks." I shook some sprinkles onto my tree and gave it to Jude to put on the plate of finished cookies. "Hey, mom." I called out as everyone started another round of cookies. "I need, I need a break."

"Alright, no problem." She pulled me away from the kitchen table and moved me out to the hallway. "What's going on?"

"I'm just tired. Just need some space." I answered honestly. Stef nodded and pushed some hair behind my ears.

"What do you want to do? Do you want to lay down in your room or in the living room?"

"Livingroom is fine." Stef picked me up and sat me on the couch. I laid down and shut my eyes, breathing through the headache that sat stubbornly behind my eye and my exhausted arms thanked me for a few minutes break.

"Do you need something to help you sleep?" Stef asked, tossing a blanket over me.

"No, I'm fine." Stef kissed the top of my head and walked back out to the kitchen.

Then next thing I knew I was sitting beside the Christmas tree with Jude. But he was different, he was five, maybe six. I reached out and poked him, he was solid. My mom made a soft sound of disapproval. My head snapped up and mom was sitting there, glaring at me.

"Why did you do that? Don't poke your brother." She snapped. I stared at her, she comforted Jude as he started to cry. Stood up, without thinking and looked down at my body.

I was younger, a lot younger, just like Jude. My body worked, my head didn't hurt, and our mom wasn't dead. "Apologize to your brother." She demanded, I stared at her.

"I can walk." Was the first thing that came out of my mouth. "Am I dead? Are we all dead? Jude, Jude, did you die too?" None of them answered me. I sat on the floor in front of my mother. "Mom?"

"It's okay, Jude. Callie didn't mean to hurt you." She sat Jude back on the floor. "Go ahead and open presents."

"What about Stef and Lena?" I asked looking around. "Mom, please. Did I die?" Jude opened up a gift under the tree and cheered as he got his own princess dress. I reached into my hair and felt my waist length hair that hadn't been shaved to accommodate multiple brain surgeries. I wiggled my fingers on both hands and smiled, maybe getting shot had been a dream. A very long dream.

"Here, Callie, open your present." My mom handed me a small box, and I suddenly remembered what this was. This was the Christmas before she died, I knew what was in the box. I wasn't dead, I wasn't cured either. This was a memory. This was the last Christmas we had before Mom died. Dad was gone because they had gotten in a fight a few hours earlier which is why Jude and I were even awake.

"I don't want to." I said softly, I put the gift on the floor and stared at the two of them. I didn't want to leave here. I wanted to sit with them and enjoy our last Christmas forever, but the longer I sat there watching the memory go on the more my head began to hurt.

The pain I had grown accustomed to returned, I knew it was just a few moments before I woke up and wouldn't be able to walk again. I sat on the floor between Mom and Jude and tried to soak up every minute before I opened my eyes and was laying on the couch in the living room, unable to feel the fingers on my right hand.

Lena was kneeling over me hooking up the tube feeding pump. "Hey, how are you feeling? Mom said you were tired?"

"Yeah. Making cookies was just a little hard." I explained, trying to maneuver myself into a sitting position. I haven't been on a couch in months and getting to a sitting position on a couch was very different than sitting up in bed. I had never worked on this in therapy and so I had no idea what to do.

"Is it okay if I help you?" Lena asked after hitting the green button on the pump. I nodded and she helped me sit up. I looked around the living room and saw the Christmas tree in the corner, presents were overflowing underneath it. I tried to hold on to the dream I just had, it was the first dream I had in months that wasn't about Anchor Beach. "What's going on? What are you thinking about?" Lena ran her thumb over my cheek and tried to look into my eyes.

"I – I had a dream, or a memory?"

"A good one or bad one?" I shrugged. "What was it about?"

"Christmas with bio mom." I muttered. Lena looked relieved, but sad at the same time.

"It's okay to think about stuff like that, and it's definitely okay to be sad about stuff like that." I nodded a little and gave her a small smile. "After lunch Jude wants to watch a movie. Is that okay?"

"I might fall back asleep, but yeah."

"Is Callie awake?" Jude's voice shouted throughout the house. He came running down the stairs and was wearing an oversized sweater with a slightly deformed reindeer on it. He spun around showing off his sweater and I felt a smile crack over my face too.

"That's great." I laughed. "Where did you get?"

"It was in the back of moms' closet, Stef was looking for it forever and gave it to me!"

"I was hoping it would never be found." Lena sighed.

"Hey, Cal." Mariana said brightly. "Can I do your hair before we leave to see the lights?"

"The lights?" I looked to Lena for help.

"We're going to look at the Christmas lights, remember. We were going to leave after dinner."

"Sorry, ask again." I said turning to Mariana.

"Can I help with your hair?" My fingers instinctively touched the scar the size of my hand on the back of my head.

"No, I don't want." I tried to explain. "People would see." Lena sat down beside me and held my hand tightly as I started to panic.

"It's okay if you say, 'no'." Mariana said quickly.

"But I want. I don't. I – I." Words stuck together in my throat and my tongue was too slow to keep up.

"Relax, Cal. Breathe." Lena stressed. She crouched down in front of me and held my hands tightly. "Mariana isn't upset with you." She started with a breathing exercise and I struggled to count to ten without looking at Jude who seemed worried I was going to explode. I finally got control over myself and made sure to stare at Lena as I thought through each word carefully.

"I want. Mariana hair." Lena nodded encouragingly. "But I don't, don't. Don't want people to see. See scars."

"That was great, baby." Lena said with a smile, she gave my hands a final squeeze and sat back beside me on the couch. "Did that make sense for you, Mari?"

"Yeah, that's perfect Callie. I figured we would all wear Santa hats tonight anyway." I nodded. Jude and Mariana flopped down on the couch beside me and I noticed Lena looking slightly upset as they picked different movies we were supposed to watch by the end of tomorrow.

"You okay?" I asked her as Jude put Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer into the PlayStation.

"Yep, just tired." She lied. "I'm going to take a nap while you guys watch this, okay?" She kissed each of us and walked away. Jude snuggled into my side and I forgot about Lena.

Stef –

I stood in the kitchen and got started cleaning out the fourth bowl crusted with remnants of cookie batter. Lena Started drying the dishes I had already cleaned and the tension between us was suffocating.

"Callie" – we both started at the same time.

"You first." She insisted, turning so we were looking at each other. I sighed and put my dish down in the sink. I took a deep breath and held it for a minute.

"I have to meet with the lawyer. Robert wants to meet."

"He wants to meet Callie?" She gasped.

"No, no. They want us both to go, but I said you have to stay with Callie. I can stay if you would rather go, but" –

"No, no. That's fine. I'll stay here with Cal." She agreed. "We were on the couch, and Mariana. Mariana offered to do her hair before we go out tonight. Callie's embarrassed."

"Really?" I was struck with a pain in my chest, and a conflicted smile came across my face. "Well she's getting better. That means she's still getting better, right?" Being embarrassed is a sign of high brain functioning, right?

"We, we should get Callie a therapist. Find one that's worked with this kind of stuff, maybe?" I nodded.

"I agree, but being embarrassed of scars is normal. I would love for her to embrace the scars and the paralysis and just be happy with it, but it makes sense if she's embarrassed." I said slowly, picking my words as if they were landmines.

"You're right, you're right. I just want someone to be there that Callie can talk to."

"She talks to us." I tried to justify, but I knew what Lena meant. Callie needed someone that she could be honest with about everything, it was the only way we had any hope of surviving any amount of time. "But, yeah. I'll start to look for one when she goes back. I'll ask her doctor if there are any recommendations." Lena nodded and started drying dishes again.

"I bought some ginger bread houses for the kids to decorate. After the movie?"

"That sounds fun, Jude's going to love it." Our kids were having the best day of their lives since the shooting and Lena and I couldn't enjoy it. We washed the dishes in silence and set the table up to get destroyed again by icing and stale candy.

The kids finished the movie and I went to check on Callie as they filed into the kitchen. She was sitting on the couch, looking down at her feet. She picked up her right foot with her hands and adjusted it as if she could stand up on her own. "Hey, kiddo." I interrupted.

"Hey, Mom." She answered after briefly looking up. "When new braces?" She asked pulling at the straps of the purple braces that went over her calves and ankles.

"Why? Do they hurt?" I asked looking down.

"No, but." She paused and her eyebrows came together tightly. "No more braces. No more and" – her voice faded away as she thought of what else she was supposed to say. "No braces, then I come home." She muttered.

"Callie, that's not how this works." I kneeled in front of her and held both her hands. "The doctors don't need you to walk or not have braces to come home." I paused to make sure she understood. "You're going to come home in a few weeks as long as the doctor clears you, and even if he doesn't you'll be home very, very soon."

"When I can walk?"

"It doesn't have anything to do with you walking, Cal." I tried to explain.

"Then what? What do I need to do?" I saw her struggling to understand, and the fact I didn't have an answer made it worse.

"Just keep working hard, I promise you're coming home soon." I said with a smile and then pulled her to her feet, I set her up in the kitchen with her siblings and watched as she started decorating her own gingerbread house. I poured myself a cup of coffee and watched my kids surrounded by Christmas decorations wearing corny sweaters and socks. They looked like they were a part of a Lifetime movie, unbelievably happy despite what was going on around them.

Jesus seemed to know how to help Callie without helping her. He also just let her struggle sometimes. Her gingerbread house was a mess, large globs of icing covered half, while the other half was empty. Colors blended together in an aggressive way and the frustration was starting to show as she tried to make a line in icing but her hands trembled so hard that she missed the house entirely.

Jesus burst out laughing, the house froze. His shouts of laughter echoed throughout the house. Callie dropped the icing she was holding and stared at what she had done, time wouldn't move. Every one watched Callie to see what she would do next. Jesus realized what he had done and stopped laughing immediately. The silence was worse.

"It looks better than yours." Callie stuttered, and laughed. The house burst out into uncontrollable laughter and gingerbread house decorating continued as if it had never been interrupted. Lena took some pictures and sent them to family. It seemed this would never end, until a food fight started and for the sake of our house remaining standing we had to end this round of Christmas festivities.

"Okay kiddos, time to clean up." Lena said, taking a spoonful of icing away from Jesus before he could throw it into Mariana's hair. There were a few grumbles and groans, but they all obliged. We placed each decorated house in the window sill and delegated tasks. Brandon helped Lena with dishes while the twins swept and mopped the floor. Jude was helping Callie put candy back in the pantry and I wiped icing off the table.

"Alright, what do you guys want to eat for lunch?" I prepared Callie's food and counted out her meds.

"I'm not really hungry. We just ate a few hours ago." Mariana said with a shrug, putting away the broom.

"Yeah." The other kids agreed with her. I just nodded and set up Callie's tube feeding.

"Hey, can I go put up a few last minute decorations for the competition?" Jesus asked as I pushed the 'start' button on Callie's backpack.

"Are you doing that this year?"

"Yeah, of course. Didn't you notice?"

"Yes, yeah. I did." I lied. "I just haven't heard you talk about entering in the competition." I hadn't noticed a single decoration outside of the house. "Going outside sounds like a great idea."

"We can help!" Jude exclaimed and they headed toward the front door.

"Hey, Cal. Now's a good time for you to take a nap for a bit." I said, as they filed outside.

"No, I'm not tired." She insisted. "I want to go out." I froze, it is Christmas Eve. She's having a great day, she took a nap before lunch, and she told us when she was tired. I looked to Lena for help, should we let her stay up? What's the worst that could happen? She'll be tired later, maybe a bit grouchy. Or a lot grouchy, her headache could get worse.

"You promise to tell us if you need a break?"

"She'll be fine, mom. We'll be right outside." Brandon insisted. Callie's face lit up instantly as Brandon grabbed her jacket and waited for my answer.

"O – Okay." I muttered reluctantly, but who was I to say something if she really was feeling well. "Yeah, just let us know if you need to come inside." I cleared my throat and helped Callie put her arms into the jacket. "I'll sit outside, with you." I said quickly, starting to push her chair out to the front door.

"Nope, we've got it." Jesus said, nudging me out of the way.

"Alright, okay. Callie, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I – I promise." A huge smile crossed her face as I took a hesitant step back. I followed them to the front door and watched as Brandon and Jesus carefully brought her chair down the front steps. Brandon jogged up and closed the front door in my face with a huge smile.

I rushed over to the living room and watched them from the window. Lena sat beside me wringing her hands nervously, we watched as our kids looked somewhat normal. They dug through old Christmas lights and moved them around on the lawn, Mariana sat on the sidewalk with Callie and they appeared to be directing the boys on where to put things.

"They, they look okay." Lena said softly. We had been staring at them for almost an hour, waiting for a catastrophe, but one never came. "I need to start dinner if we're going to see the lights soon." She didn't move.

"She's okay." I whispered, my eyes stayed glued to Callie who was holding up her camera, taking pictures of everyone.

"Yeah, I guess she is." We stayed there for another twenty minutes before realizing that we really needed to get Callie ready to see the lights. "I'll make dinner, are you okay helping her shower alone?"

"Yeah, it'll be fine." I jumped up from the couch and threw the front door open. "Hey guys, can you help Momma with dinner and file through the shower? We're gonna start getting ready for the lights."

"One second, I have a few more things to put up." Jesus called from a tree in our yard.

"Okay, well you and Jude can finish up the lights. Callie, Mariana, Brandon start helping Momma and getting ready." Brandon helped me carry Callie's chair up the stairs and he went to wash his hands in the bathroom. I crouched down and tried to look into Callie's eyes but she stubbornly looked over my shoulder.

I took her camera and put it on the small table near the front door. "Let's take a shower, yeah?" She nodded and I pushed her to the bathroom in the hall. I picked her up and sat her on the shower chair before locking the door. I helped her undress and then warmed up the water before I helped her wash up and washed her hair. "Your hair is getting really long, kiddo." I brightly as I combed conditioner through her loose curls.

"Yeah." Her hair fell well past her shoulders and could use a really good trim. The months of not being able to wash and comb her hair appropriately led to a few inches of split ends.

"Momma and I can get you a haircut." I offered, turning off the water and putting a towel over her.

"No." She said quickly.

"Okay." I dried off her arms and legs and then placed a new towel over her hair and tried to get it as dry as possible. "Why don't you want a haircut, Cal?"

"I – I like it long." She said simply.

"Well that's a good reason." I dried her off and dressed her in a Christmas top and bottoms that could also be pajamas for when we got home. I checked her fingernails and toe nails before picking her back up and moving her back into the wheelchair.

Mariana was standing there with her hairdryer and bag full of makeup and hair supplies. "The bathroom is too small, Mari. We can get you two in the living room." I got them set up and went back to the kitchen.

Jude –

We set out while the sun was still out, the sky looked slightly red and as it went down the temperature dropped. We were all wearing coats though it wasn't that cold out. Stef pushed Callie's chair in front and I held Lena's hand as we walked into the fanciest neighborhood I had ever seen. We had to park almost two blocks away due to the amount of cars and people also coming to have a look at the millions of lights hanging from people's homes.

Mariana and Jesus were talking about the houses they had seen the last time they were here, and wondering how it would be different. We rounded the corner and there were lights everywhere, roofs were covered, lawns decorated and there were even lights strung across trees above the street. The houses were decorated for what could have been a mile.

Large groups of people were strolling down the sidewalks looking and talking, most of them had very young kids that were already dressed in pajamas. Jesus rushed ahead and stood in front of the first house in awe. Stef tried to carefully navigate Callie through the crowd, but most people were so busy looking at the lights they didn't notice Callie and it was awesome.

This was the best Christmas ever, I didn't remember any with my biological parents and Callie had never really talked about them before we moved in with the Fosters. Not every Christmas had been terrible, there were a few where our foster parents were nice and bought us a few presents, but Callie and I never felt as though we truly belonged like we do now.

"Jude?" Someone called out behind me. I turned around quickly to see Connor. My heart sank a little and I forced a smile.

"Hey!" I said quickly and accepted the hug he offered.

"You haven't texted me back in a while, I know you're probably busy or whatever"- His voice trailed off when he looked behind me. "Callie?" He asked quickly. I looked over my shoulder to see her wave slightly, but the look on her face told us that she didn't recognize him. "Wow, you. You look great." Connor was terrible at lying.

"Cal's just home for the weekend." Stef explained to Connor's mom with a bright smile. "Thanks again for letting Jude hang out, Lena and I are both back at work and Callie's coming home soon so"-

"Why didn't you tell me Callie was back?"

"She's not. Just for Christmas." I explained quickly.

"Still, you didn't say anything."

"Hey, Connor. We've been super busy the past few weeks. I'm sure Jude didn't mean anything by it." Brandon said softly. Connor backed off a little but he still looked hurt. He looked back at Callie and gave her a nervous wave, which she didn't return.

"Is she okay?"

"Yeah, Callie's great." Connor just stared at her and I started to hate him a little bit. Callie didn't notice, there were hundreds of people out here and she struggled to focus on one thing.

"Alright, Connor. Let's let the Foster's have their time alone. We'll stop by in a few days." He just nodded at me before following his mother through the crowd. Brandon stood there, staring awkwardly as I watched Connor walk away.

"You could tell him the truth, you know?"

"Whatever. What would you know, anyway?" I asked as moms began walking down the sidewalk again.

"I have friends, too." He snapped back. "I have friends that don't understand and it gets really annoying explaining stuff to them. Especially the friends I have that don't go to Anchor Beach."

"But Connor is my only friend." I muttered, I hoped I hadn't said it loud enough for Brandon to hear, but after a few minutes he answered.

"We all understand, and we can all do better being there for each other." He walked away and stood next to Mariana. We stopped in front of a house that had robotic elves popping in and out of presents littered around the hard like a Christmas edition of Whack – a – Mole. Jesus sprinted across the lawn pretending to hit a few before Lena noticed and grounded him, threatening to make him sit in the car for the rest of the night. All of us choked on our laughter as Jesus struggled to keep his face straight while Lena yelled. Callie laughed out loud, she covered her mouth with her left hand, but it did little to stop her laughter.

A smile cracked across Lena's face as Callie nearly doubled over. She gave up on yelling at Jesus and we continued down the street. Eventually Brandon, Jesus, Mariana, and I ended up almost an entire block ahead of moms and Callie. We would get that far ahead and then wait for them to catch up, by the time we had been there for thirty minutes it became obvious that this had been a bad idea.

Callie looked overwhelmed with the noise, people, and lights. She was wringing her hands and frustration covered her face. "We're going to do one more block and then turn back. It's getting late." Stef said with a bright smile. She knelt down in front of Cal and tucked in the blanket on her lap.

"No, no. I'm okay." Callie insisted, tears sprang up in her eyes and that seemed to make her mood worse.

"Alright." Stef agreed and smiled. She stood back up and continued pushing Callie down the sidewalk. We made around the corner and there sat the most spectacular house I had ever seen. Lights flashed in white, green, red, and blue. Everything was covered and music played loudly from speakers placed on the lawn. Jesus leaned over the small gate and gazed, open mouthed.

"Cal, shut your eyes." Lena said hurriedly. I pulled my gaze away from the beautiful house just in time to see Stef cover Callie's eyes with her hands and move her as far away from the house as quickly as she could.

"What'd you do that for?" I asked Lena.

"Strobe lights could make Callie have a seizure. She's okay, Mommy and I just wanna be safe. You four stick together, we're going to take Cal back to the car. Be back in thirty minutes." Lena kissed the top of my head and ran to catch up with Stef.

The house didn't look as cool anymore, we stood shoulder to shoulder and stared at the lights that now seemed to frivolous. "I'm ready to head back, maybe we can watch a movie at home." Mariana said stepping away from the gate. We all slowly walked back towards the car and got there in time to see Stef bombarding Callie with questions about how she was feeling.

"I'm fine, I swear." She grumbled. She saw us behind Stef and sat up a little straighter.

"Hey, we're ready to go home. Pajamas and hot chocolate sound great right now." Mariana sighed and climbed in the car behind Callie. We all piled in and watched the neighborhood of Christmas lights disappear behind us. The car was full of awkward tension, moms were stressed more than anything. Callie was mad, and the rest of us were confused. If Callie couldn't look at Christmas lights what could she do?

We made it home and Stef had to convince Jesus to leave the Christmas decorations alone. On the drive home he had concocted some grand plan to get Christmas lights to "rain" down from our trees as if they were weeping willows. I thought it sounded awesome, Mariana thought it would drain electricity and kill polar bears, and Mom thought it would kill our power bill. Either way, Jesus and I were out voted, but that didn't stop him from telling everyone his plans for next year.

Moms put Callie back out on the couch and we were forced to watch Momma's favorite Christmas movie. Something about a miracle on 34th street, and a parade, and Santa being real. I drank two whole mugs of hot chocolate and was about to have a third, but Lena said it was getting late and we couldn't be up all night.

Jesus and I ate through a whole plate of cookies and once the movie went off I remembered I had a whole stack of Christmas presents under my bed that I needed to finish wrapping. Judging by the amount of people that followed me upstairs I wasn't the only one. I started to dig under my bed as Jesus walked in.

"You wrap your presents over there and I'll do mine here, no peeking!" I shouted as he closed the door.

"I'm not looking." He called back digging around in his dresser. I wrapped each present as carefully as I could before heading back downstairs.

"Hey, baby?" Stef called from her bedroom. "Do you have and extra hand? Can you carry these down too?" She handed me a few boxes and I leaned around them as I walked down the stairs.

Callie –

I struggled to keep my eyes open as everyone paraded down the stairs and arranged presents under the tree. Every time I looked at the tree my eyes burned and my head throbbed sickeningly. Lena wrapped her arm around my shoulders and I let my head rest against her, my body was exhausted, but I didn't want today to end.

"Alright, everyone. Time for bed. If you don't go to bed then Santa won't come." Jude laughed a little, but everyone went upstairs after saying good night. Jude checked the cookies and milk on the coffee table and gave me an awkward hug before leaving.

"Here we go, Cal." Stef crouched in front of me and I struggled to get my arms around her neck. "It's late, kiddo. I shouldn't have let you skip a nap." My chin rested on her shoulder as she struggled to pull me to my feet.

"I'm okay." My legs hardly supported even a fraction of my weight, but Stef still held me upright, "Sorry."

"Momma's got you, it's alright." Stef draped my right arm over her shoulders and Lena supported my left. "Is this okay? I can carry you." Stef said softly.

"I'm okay." I repeated. They ushered me into the bathroom quickly and got me ready for bed. "I had fun today." I whispered as Stef pulled me to my feet again.

"That's great, baby. Tomorrow will be a lot more relaxing." Stef picked me up and carried me into the office. I wanted to be angry about it, but this had to be easier for mom than having me shuffle around slowly. "Sorry." Stef said with a quick smile. She placed me in bed and tucked the covers around me. "I'm going to sleep on the couch again tonight, just call for me if you need anything. Okay?" I nodded once and my eyes fell closed.

I woke up and I was on fire, I couldn't open my eyes, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move. I needed to breathe, I needed air. It felt as through my head was splitting in two, blood roared in my ears. I could feel hands on my arm, holding me down. I tried to ask for help, but I had no way to control myself. My eyesight slowly returned in dark shapes and I could see someone standing over me. The fire on my skin went out slowly and I could feel myself shaking, tears fell from my eyes.

"It's okay, it's almost over. It's okay." Lena's voice said above me. A seizure, today, Christmas.

"Hey, Cal. Just relax." Stef said leaning closer to my face. I tried to take a deep breath, but my jaw stayed clenched shut. After what seemed to be forever, air finally filled my lungs, but the burning feeling remained throughout my body.

"Sorry." I started sobbing, I couldn't help it. Stef squeezed my shoulders and wiped the tears off my face.

"You didn't do anything wrong." Lena assured me over and over, her hand ran through my hair. "Relax, baby. Just relax." I took deep breaths and tried to soothe the burning in my lungs that wouldn't go away.

"You look exhausted, Cal. Do you need something to help you fall back asleep?" I nodded, knowing it would get rid of the persistent buzzing in my head that made my bones rattle. My body throbbed and ached, but I just ground my teeth together and tried to breathe through it.

Lena kissed the top of my head and walked out of the bedroom. Stef took over stroking my hair and squeezed my hand tightly as I tried to stop crying. "I'll stay in here tonight, you're going to be okay. We'll take it easy tomorrow."

"Don't, don't tell." I urged, anxiety started to swell inside of me. "I don't want to ruin." I tried to explain. Stef just shushed me and shook her head, she tried to make me go through some breathing exercises but I just kept insisting that she wouldn't tell everyone that I had a seizure.

"Callie, Callie, I need you to stop. I need you to breathe." She shouted over my anxiety. She climbed into bed with me and pulled me into a sitting position. She sat behind me and crossed her arms over my chest and squeezed tightly. I pulled at her wrists, but she didn't move. "Breathe, relax." She whispered into my hair, she was breathing loudly in my ear. Counting over my insistence that I had ruined Christmas. She held me until I started counting with her and until I was breathing however she deemed acceptable. Exhaustion consumed me and my head fell back onto Stef's shoulder.

"Momma and I won't tell. It's okay." Stef whispered as Lena injected the medicine into the feeding tube. I nodded once and felt my eyes fall closed, but I fought back and gasped awake, wincing. Stef held me a little tighter and started to rock back and forth.

"I'm sorry." I muttered. Stef kissed the side of my head.

"Don't be, Callie. You can't make yourself not have seizures. It's okay. Mom and I are just happy you're okay." Lena insisted, "Mom's going to sleep in here with you, and I'll be on the couch." I wanted to protest, but my eyes were closing again. Stef laid me down and tucked the blankets in around me tightly. She brought in a pillow and a blanket and laid on the floor. I would have been lying if I said I wasn't scared and didn't want my mom to stay with me, but I felt bad. She was always worried about me.

"It's alright. I'm right here." Stef said with a smile. I nodded once and succumbed to sleep.

"Where's Callie?" Jude's voice echoed throughout the hall.

"Shhh. She's asleep. We stayed up too late last night, we'll open presents in a few hours. Okay?" Lena whispered. I rolled over slowly and looked at the empty floor where Stef had slept last night. My whole body hurt, which was expected, but it was going to be difficult to hide that from everyone else. The door to my room opened slowly and Lena came in with the pump and all my medications. "Sorry, did Jude wake you up?"

"No." I started to sit up, but it hurt too much. "I can, out for breakfast." I muttered as Lena helped prop me up with pillows.

"No, it's okay. You sleep for a few more hours and then we'll have an amazing Christmas." Lena assured me as she set up the tube feeding with a confidence she didn't have two days ago. "How are you feeling?"

"Sore."

"You can have some Tylenol if you think you need it." I nodded and Lena started the pump before going and grabbing some Tylenol. "Here you go. I'll come check on you in an hour, go back to sleep." She smiled and kissed the top of my head before leaving. I struggled to roll onto my side and turn away from the door so if someone else walked in they wouldn't see me cry. I had ruined Christmas, no matter what anyone said, I had ruined it with my stupid broken brain. I couldn't even be trusted to sleep on my own. My body throbbed, but I couldn't do much to fight the looming exhaustion.

I woke up to a small tug on my face, I raised a hand to brush them away, but I was blocked. "Hey, hey. It's me, you're okay." I forced my eyes open to see Stef pushing a syringe into the tube in my nose. She had dark circles under her eyes and a fake smile. "Merry Christmas."

"No." I answered shortly.

"It is, it's your first Christmas." She explained in a way that just seemed patronizing.

"No. Want to go back." She pushed the green button on the pump and seemed to try and process what I had said.

"I don't understand."

"Back to center." Tears rolled down my face and I tried to cover them as quickly as I could. Stef looked as though I betrayed her in the worst way.

"Why? Why do you want to go back?"

"You and Momma. You're always helping me. I always need help." I struggled to form my thoughts. I needed Stef to understand why I couldn't stay here, why I needed to go back until I was better.

"People help you at the center." She said gently.

"But not you." I forced. My tears had started to become angry tears, tears of frustration that I couldn't tell my mom what I wanted. That I couldn't go to the bathroom on my own, that I couldn't spend one weekend away from doctors without having a seizure and ruining Christmas. "You're right. Momma and I get a lot of help from the people at the center." Stef dried my obnoxious tears and placed her hand on top of my head. "Momma and I love helping you, but that also means we might do it too much. We forget how hard this is for you sometimes."

"I need help. Everyone helps me. Everyone is always helping."

"Do you not want our help?"

"Not your job, not Jude's job." I took a breath and held it for a moment. "I just, I need to be. Like before." Stef's face contorted into some emotion I couldn't read before quickly turning blank.

"You're not a burden, Callie." She sat on the edge of my bed and tentatively placed her hand on my arm. "Taking care of you, helping you. It's what we do because we love you."

"But" – my answer was just random words floating in my mind. I tried to pull them together to form a sentence but none of the words seem to fit right. I could feel the frustration and anxiety begin to rise again.

"Hey, hey. We know. All of us know that you would do this for us. If I was hurt, you would help me, if it was Lena, Jude, Brandon, the twins. You would help any of us." It wasn't what I wanted to say, but by now I had forgotten what even that was. Stef climbed into bed beside me and held me until I fell back asleep.

This time when I woke up Stef was standing halfway in the room talking to a distraught Jesus. "It's Christmas and we always make breakfast on Christmas." He whined. "We always do the bacon together, ever since my first Christmas."

"You've done amazing since Callie has come home, but I need you to relax. I know change sucks and I know this weekend has been hard, but Christmas breakfast is going to be different this year. I need to stay with Callie."

"No, I planned it all out. They can make hash browns or biscuits. Callie makes great biscuits, and then the rest of breakfast doesn't change." I had never heard Jesus so upset before, he wasn't angry, he was devastated.

"That sounds like a great idea, for next year. Today we just need to take everything a step at a time." I recognized the tone in Stef's voice, it was the same one she used when I was too upset to talk anymore.

"Fine. I'll go make waffles." He walked away from the door and Stef sighed heavily.

"Thank you, Jesus. You're being an awesome brother." She stretched her neck as if it was hurting her, she had slept on the floor, of course it was hurting. Guilt seeped through me and I forced myself to sit up despite the shockwaves of pain it sent through my body. "Hey, you don't need to get up yet. Go back to sleep." Stef placed both her hands on my shoulders as if she was going to push me down but I gave her the best smile I could muster and shook my head.

"I'm okay." I lied, my head swam a little as I moved my legs over the side of the bed and reached out for Stef to help me stand. Stef hesitated for a moment before slowly pulling me to my feet. I tried not to complain, but a few whimpers still escaped my lips. Stef muttered apologies as she moved me to the wheelchair and brought me to the bathroom.

"I'll get Momma and we'll get you through the shower as fast as we can, okay?" I nodded and just tried to breathe through the exhaustion moving had created. Getting me showered and ready for the day took forever. Mom and Lena took twice as long as nurses did getting me ready in the morning on a good day, and today they were focused on trying not to hurt me while they did it so it felt like everything took forever.

I tried to keep my face neutral and avoid groaning whenever I could, but it really did hurt and I couldn't hide it that well. Breakfast was over and I could hear everyone cleaning up in the dining room by the time Lena finished brushing my hair and securing the ankle braces to my feet.

Moms brought me out to the living room where I could see a nest of pillows. They obviously intended for me to spend the entire day in this spot. Stef eased me down and Lena immediately covered me with two heavy blankets, almost encouraging me to go back to sleep.

Jesus and Jude came sprinting into the room and crashed down on the floor next to the presents. Jude glanced up and me, before looking again and staring. Did I really look that bad? "Are you okay?" He asked with actual concern covering his face.

"Yeah, I just have a headache and that makes a lot of stuff hurt." It was mostly the truth, and he seemed to accept this answer, but the concern didn't go away.

"Is, is it from the lights yesterday?" He directed at Stef as she walked by towards the tree.

"No, nope. Sometimes it just happens, okay? Callie's fine, we're just going to take it easy today." She sorted through a few presents before handing everyone their first present. I couldn't pull wrapping paper off a box if my life depended on it and I ended up handing off all my gifts to Lena to unwrap. Before we even made it halfway through the pile I fell back asleep leaning against Momma's shoulder.

Stef –

Callie was a shell of the person she was yesterday. We should have known yesterday was too good to be true, but it was still devastating to watch her struggle through everything today. Callie fell asleep after opening one gift and Lena visibly relaxed beside her.

"Wow, mom, this is amazing!" Jesus exclaimed, holding up a GoPro. He pulled it out of its box and plugged it into the wall without reading any of the instructions. I ignored the look I was getting from Lena. I had gone through the surge of donations that came through for Callie for Christmas. It was easy to find something for each person for Christmas that they would really enjoy and there was still plenty left over to donate.

Lena made a small pile of presents for Callie, but seemed hesitant to leave the pile alone. "She needs my help to unwrap them." Lena said softly as I stared at the pile.

"Just unwrap them, she won't mind." I gave her a nervous smile and watched as Lena turned a bit so she could lay beside Callie, and pushed her unopened gifts away for later.

It was impossible to tell if the kids were okay with the difference between today and yesterday. Other than Jesus' outburst this morning there was no other mention of how things weren't going the way they had originally been planned.

Callie slept through the opening of gifts and all the kids ran off to their rooms to get acquainted with their new belongings, I cleaned up the left over wrapping paper and turned to ask Lena what she wanted for lunch only to see she had fallen asleep with Callie tightly in her arms.

I grabbed a blanket and tossed it over them hoping that they would both sleep for at least three hours. Even though Callie refused to relax, sleeping was the only thing that ever made it better. Jesus ran around with his GoPro strapped to his chest having everyone smile for the camera and asking us questions until Brandon punched him.

"Hey, Mom." Jude's voice chirped as I walked into the dining room.

"Hey, baby. What've you got there?" Jude held up his Nintendo.

"I love my present. Thank you." He hugged me tightly and paused a little. "Is Callie okay?" He asked softly, he looked into my eyes as if he was going to find the answers in there.

"Yeah, buddy. She's okay." He kept staring. "Some days with Callie are going to be great, and some days are going to be really hard." I said with a little grin. "I know it's hard, but after a few months it will get better."

"Months?" The familiar look of shock at how long Callie's recovery is going to take filled his eyes.

"Callie's going to keep getting better." I said with a small smile. "But it's going to take a long time, brain injuries take a long time." He nodded and seemed to accept my answer reluctantly.

"I hope she feels better before she leaves." He said taking his seat back at the table.

"Yeah, me too, buddy. I'm sure she wants to hang out with you before she goes, but, I have a good feeling she'll be back home soon." Jude just gave me a little nod. He had heard that Callie was coming home 'soon' for the past few months. He knew that soon didn't really mean in the next few days or weeks, but eventually.

I started making Christmas dinner to give myself something to do. I pulled out everything for the side dishes and started cutting up green beans and sweet potatoes. Jesus appeared near my elbow and watched as I cut all the vegetables.

"Can I help?" He asked, stepping in a little closer.

"Of course you can." I handed him a knife and a pile of vegetables.

"I'm sorry I was so upset this morning. I, I know Callie isn't feeling well and I know she needs your help."

"Hey, don't be sorry. You're okay." He shook his head, and refused to look at me. "You're allowed to get upset. Damn, do you still have enough meds?"

"Yeah, yeah. Brandon picked them up last week, but they said that was my last refill. I don't know what that means."

"We have to get you a doctor's appointment, that's all. How are you feeling? Are the meds okay? I'm so sorry I haven't checked on you, I just – no, there's no excuse. I should have asked how you were doing and you know if you need anything you can just tell us." Panic pulsed through me, we had spent so much time being consumed with Callie, Jesus could have stopped taking his meds and no one would have noticed.

"It's okay, really it is." He pleaded. I nodded and tried to hide the stress from him. "If you give me the number I can call to make an appointment and Brandon will take me. We have to go school shopping anyway."

"School shopping?"

"Yeah, we start school again next week." How had time moved so fast? The kids would start school, we had to figure everything out from that front.

"Right, right. I remember, I swear."

"Mom, it's okay. We aren't babies, we don't need you to do all this stuff for us." He scoffed a little as if the idea was almost insulting. Even though the day of the shooting I had packed each of their lunches and ironed his shirt before he left for school.

"You may not 'need' it, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't try a little harder." I said softly, kissing the side of his head. "You're amazing, but I'm still sorry. I'll be sure to make more time, okay?"

"Where are you going to make more time? You'll stop sleeping or visiting Callie, and she needs you more than I do."

"I'm sure she won't mind if I only visit her twice a week." I said with a shrug.

"But I'll mind. I'll be okay, I promise. Visiting Callie is more important." He placed the chopped vegetables into a bowl and preheated the oven.

"Where did I get such awesome kids?" I asked him, he just shrugged and began helping me with the ham.

"Is Callie okay? She had a seizure didn't she?" He asked softly, there was a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Yeah, but don't tell anyone. Callie doesn't want you guys to know, but she's fine, just tired." I rushed, looking into the dining room to be sure Jude hadn't heard. "How did you know?"

"I couldn't sleep, I came down stairs to get a drink and I saw you run into Callie's room. I just peeked and went back upstairs." He said with a shrug. "It didn't seem like you guys needed help."

"Are you okay? I know that's a scary thing to see, but Callie's alright." I tried to look into his eyes, I tried to see the panic, but it wasn't there.

"I'm fine. I'm happy she's okay. How often does she have those?"

"Right now? She has maybe two a week. Her doctor is working really hard to find the right kind of medicine to make it better. Okay?" He nodded. We finished putting everything in the oven and Jesus got started setting the table without me even mentioning it to him. He nudged Jude and the two of them worked together to put out the nice dishes.

It was so weird seeing the two of them complete a task I would have had to ask them to do. I walked out to the living room to see Lena and Callie sleeping soundly, then walked upstairs to check on Brandon and Mariana. Just as I made it to the second floor the doorbell rang, I heard Jude open the door and Mike's voice boomed throughout the house. I ran down the stairs with my finger pressed tightly to my lips.

"Shhhh, Callie's asleep." I hissed. He clammed up and looked around, I pointed to the couch and he tiptoed into the dining room.

"Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to, how's she doing?"

"Yesterday was great, today is rough." I answered taking a pie from his hands and placing it on the counter. He took off his coat and draped it over the back of a chair.

"And everyone else?"

"They've been amazing, as usual. Mariana's been having a great weekend." I looked around for something else to do. I had to stay busy, I didn't want to think about going and meeting Callie's father tomorrow, or leaving her at the center again. "Go say hi to Brandon. He's been missing you."

"Can you go get the gifts for the kids out of my car?" He tossed me his keys and he jogged up the stairs. I could see my breath when I walked out the door, the sharp air was nice in my lungs and it was oddly quiet outside.

Callie –

Someone's arm was draped over me, a warm blanket and the soft rumble of voices nearby. I could stay like this forever, but I didn't want to waste my time laying here. I was going to go back to the rehab center soon and who knows how long until they let me come home again. I opened my eyes and tried to figure out how badly my head really hurt. It wasn't as bad as before, but it still wasn't good.

Any amount of light made the headache worse so I laid there, under Lena's arm until she woke up. "Hey, Cal." She whispered, squeezing my hand. I squeezed back so she knew I was awake. "It's time for lunch and meds." She sat up behind me and helped me sit up.

"Light too bright."

"Alright, um, just wait right here." I nodded, it's not like I was going to stand up and run away. I heard her leave the room, and let my pounding head rest in my hands. Someone ran into the living room and their footsteps stopped in front of me.

"Hey, Callie. Are you feeling better?" Jesus' voice was soft and he seemed genuinely concerned. I looked up and he had some weird square attached to his chest.

"Yeah, what's that?"

"It's a camera, I'm making a movie."

"A movie?"

"Yeah, it's about us." Lena came back in with the stupid backpack and a bowl full of syringes. "You still have some presents you didn't open." Jesus gestured toward the small mountain of gifts sitting on the coffee table. Lena closed all the blinds and turned off the Christmas tree.

"Are those all mine?" I don't think I had ever had so many gifts in my life.

"Yeah." He sat on the coffee table and handed me a gift. "Go ahead, open it." I pulled at the paper, but I wasn't strong enough to open it. "I'll help." He said quickly as I began to offer it to Lena. He ripped the paper off and handed the gift back to me so I could see what it was. A set of expensive colored pencils and a sketch book stared at me.

"I can't." I said, trying to hand it to Lena.

"What do you mean?" She looked me over as if I had just told her something was wrong.

"I can't, I can't draw."

"Jude said you love drawing." Lena said with a little grin, she had that gentle look I recognized with their attempt to remind me of something I should already know.

"My hand doesn't work. I can't draw." I insisted.

"Okay, I'll hold onto this then and if you decide you want it I'll have it." I tried not to get annoyed, but I could tell she was just saying those things so I wouldn't get angry.

"Can I open these a different time?" The thought of going through the rest of the presents was exhausting.

"Of course, baby." Lena kissed the top of my head and made sure the pump next to me was still going before she and Jesus began collecting presents and putting them away. Jesus came back and sat next to me, he didn't say anything he just sat there in the dark scribbling in a notebook.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to write a letter." He said simply.

"To who?"

"Emma." I thought hard about that name, did I know an Emma? It felt familiar, but I couldn't match her face to her name.

"Who's that?"

"She – she went to Anchor Beach with us." The tone of his voice changed and I couldn't understand why. He tensed up as if I was going to say something else.

"Can I, can. Can I try something?"

"Sure." I gestured towards the thing in his hand he was writing with. He handed it to me and flipped to a clean page in his book. I struggled to place the writing thing between my fingers in a way that felt right, but they shook too much.

I ended up holding it in a fist and pressed it onto the paper. Jesus gently took it away and turned it over in my hand so the other end was touching the paper. I tried to remember what letters went in my name, I thought it would be something that just came to me, I didn't think I was going to have to think about it so much but I couldn't remember what the first letter in my name was.

"Do you know how to spell my name?" I asked Jesus after a few awkward minutes.

"Yeah, C-A-L-L-I-E." He said slowly.

"What, what does a 'C' look like?" I asked after trying again. He took the pen from me and wrote my name in big letters at the top of the page. Then carefully placed the pen back in my hand. The letters didn't look right at the top of the page, but I trusted Jesus and tried to copy the letters he wrote at the top of the page.

The first two letters I wrote were almost indistinguishable from each other and the next three just looked like crooked lines followed by a crooked circle. "That's not right." I said looking between the two.

"Is this the first time you've written your name, Cal?" He asked softly, I nodded and looked angrily at what I had created. "Can I keep it?" I handed him back his notebook.

"I'm never going to be allowed back at Anchor Beach." I moaned.

"Anchor Beach is closed still, so you have a lot of time to get better." He shrugged, "you don't like school anyway."

"School is better than sitting all day." I reasoned. "Anchor Beach is closed?" I added quickly before that information slipped away.

"Yeah, it's been closed since the – since you got hurt."

"Why?"

"I don't know, they fixed some stuff that got broken, but I don't know why it's still closed." He didn't seem too concerned. Brandon's dad walked into the living room with a huge smile across his face.

"Hey, Cal. Merry Christmas. I haven't seen you in a while, how have you been?"

"Good." There was a pause as if I was supposed to say something else, but I couldn't think of anything. He sat down on the couch across the room and kept smiling. "You came to visit?" I threw out into the awkward silence. "In the hospital?"

"Yeah, I came to see you a few times, but it's okay if you don't remember." I nodded once and tried not to feel as though something was missing. So much time had passed so quickly. There was over a month of my life that I couldn't remember except for small flashes and most of those were just dreams.

"Thanks." I added as the silence started to creep in again. "For visiting."

"You're welcome, I'm happy you're here." I gave him the best smile I could make before sinking into my pillow nest. I closed my eyes for what felt like a minute but I woke up to the alarm on the feeding pump going off. Jude was sitting next to me now, his face illuminated by a game in his hands. Brandon was sitting beside his dad with a bright smile on his face and Stef hovered over me, unplugging the pump and injecting a medication into the tube.

"What's that?" I asked as she pulled out another syringe.

"Pain meds." She said, looking down at it.

"I don't want it." She froze and seemed to think about what to say next. "It makes me tired."

"How's your head?" Her hand carefully tucked hair behind my ear and she tried to read my expression.

"I'm okay." That's not the answer she wanted, but she wasn't going to fight about it either.

"You have to let me know if it hurts too bad, okay?" She kissed the top of my head and ruffled Jude's hair as she walked past.

"What are you playing?" I asked as he glanced up over the game.

"Zelda. Want to see?" He moved closed and held the game out so I could see him move the character around on the screen. My head ended up on his shoulder even though I tried to sit up straight. Jude seemed to relax as I leaned against him and he snuggled closer into me, the small screen from his game made my head pound into my ears, but if I closed my eyes it wasn't so bad. If I just closed my eyes for a moment then it would be alright.

"Alright, which movie?" Jesus' voice boomed and I ripped my eyes open.

"Sorry, sorry." I said quickly turning to see Jude still beside me, but he was wearing different clothes. "I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"It's okay, I don't mind." He shrugged, snuggling into my side. "Callie likes Elf, we saw it once at a different house." Everyone was in the living room wearing pajamas with a bowl of popcorn in their laps. Jesus put the movie in and Stef sat on the floor in front of me.

"Hey, Cal. Are you hungry? I can get you some ice cream?" Lena said as she sat on the other side of Jude.

"No, my stomach hurts a little." The TV turned on and it illuminated the previously dark room. I covered my eyes with my left hand and struggled through the nausea that overwhelmed me.

"Hey, you okay?" Stef asked squeezing my shoulder.

"It's just bright, I'll go to my room. You watch." I reached out with my right arm and tried to find her shoulder so she could tuck me into bed, her fingers wrapped around mine and she held my hand tightly.

"Momma picked up something that might help, you want to try it?" I grunted a yes, afraid that if I moved my head or opened my mouth I would puke everywhere. "Move your hand, baby." She pulled my left hand away and pushed some glasses onto my face. "Let me know if it helps."

I opened my eyes slowly and dark sunglasses obscured my vision, Stef was standing in front of the TV blocking half the light, but what I could see was okay. I glanced to my right and Jude grinned a little. "Okay." I nodded. Stef sat back down on the floor and I glanced at the TV, my head hurt a little, but I could tolerate it.

Jude pulled at my arm a little, I glanced down and he draped my arm around his shoulders before making sure we were both under the same blanket. The nausea subsided slowly, but Jude held my hand tightly and laughed as if he was seeing this for the first time. I couldn't follow the direction of the story so I laughed when everyone else did and tried to smile whenever I saw someone look at me.

"All right, time for bed." Stef said as the screen darkened and words flashed across.

"Really?" I asked, looking around. Had I slept all day? Through everything?

"Yeah, we've got to get you to bed so you feel better tomorrow." Lena said brightly moving some pillows out of the way so she could help me to my feet.

"I'm sorry." I said looking at Jude, I pulled back slightly as Lena reached for my hand. "I didn't mean to sleep all day, I was trying to stay awake for Christmas. Our first one." Tears burned my eyes, and a panicked look crossed Jude's face before he threw his arms around my neck.

"I had the best first Christmas. You're home with me. That's all I want." He squeezed me tightly. He had a smile on his face when he pulled back. "We can hang out tomorrow, when you feel better. I'll show you my new stuff." I nodded and let Stef help me stand up and lead me out to the hall.

"Those are some cool sunglasses Momma got you, does your head feel okay?" We made it into the bathroom and she started the shower.

"It's alright. Not too bad." I muttered. Stef and Lena worked as quickly as they could to help be shower, get dressed, brush my teeth, brush my hair, and use the bathroom before bed. When they tucked me in I was struggling to keep my eyes open.

"Thank you." I whispered as Lena leaned in for a kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too, Callie." She made sure my covers were pulled all the way up. "Do you want me to stay until you fall asleep?" I nodded once and she smiled.

"Good night, Callie – Bear." Stef chuckled and kissed the top of my head. "I love you." I tried to open my eyes and mutter a response, but my body was exhausted. "Sleep tight." I heard her kiss Lena and the door closed behind her.

"Momma?" I grumbled trying to get my thought out before it disappeared.

"Shhh, go to sleep."

"Thank you for the present." I whispered as she squeezed my hand.

"You're welcome."

Stef –

Lena and I woke up at five thirty so we had enough time to drink a cup of coffee before we woke Callie up at six. We had to wake her up at six so we could help her shower and get ready with enough time to have breakfast before she took her first round of medications at seven. Dozens of alarms were set on our phones so we wouldn't forget something, but the chances of that actually happening were slim.

"Are you sure you're okay with Callie?" I handed Lena a blue mug with fresh coffee and two sugars.

"We'll be fine, she seems okay with letting Jesus help. Will you be okay?"

"I have to be. This is for Cal." I took a sip of coffee even though I knew it would be too hot. "Hope she's feeling better today. Maybe we can go to the park when I get back from the meeting?"

"Yeah, if we have time. I'll pack up her stuff while she naps so she's ready to go." Lena sighed and looked into her own cup. "I'm not ready for her to go back, I feel like we just got started figuring things out."

"Yeah, I know." We gulped down the hot coffee before we went down the hall to Callie's room. I kept her light off and the hall light on and rubbed her back lightly. "Let's go, Callie. Time to get up." Her hair covered her face and I couldn't see her scars. She looked like the Callie I had woken up for school two months ago, she didn't look confused or in pain and while she was relaxed the right side of her face was no different from the left.

"Already?" She muttered, lifting her head a little, but refusing to open her eyes.

"Yeah, c'mon. Roll over." She opened her eyes and looked up to see me standing there and Lena by the door. She groaned and positioned her left hand in a calculated way she had obviously learned in therapy before pushing herself onto her back. She moved hair out of her face and propped herself up on her elbows before sitting up. It wasn't the fastest I had ever seen her move, but she was able to do these things herself. She swung her left leg over the edge of the bed and used her hands to move her right leg over the side.

"Good job, how're you feeling?" She moved her head back and forth a little and took a few deep breaths before flashing me a smile.

"Pretty good." She answered genuinely. I helped her to her feet and Lena and I guided her into the bathroom. We had finally gotten good at this, we went through the shower and washed her hair, combing through a few knots. I dried her off and helped Lena get her dressed. I brushed through her hair a final time and Lena followed up with a hair dryer as I put on her ankle braces and shoes. I pulled out her toothbrush and toothpaste and waited for Lena to finish. I brushed her teeth and wiped excess toothpaste off her face after she spit into the sink. Lena pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail and I pulled her up to her feet so Lena could move the kitchen chair out of the way and brought her wheel chair to the door way. I helped Callie sit down and we all moved out to the kitchen. Lena put her breakfast together as I measured out medications.

"Morning!" Jude chirped, sitting at the table.

"Hey, did you sleep well?"

"Yes, can I go with you when you take Callie back to the center?"

"I don't see why not. I have to run some errands so can you help Momma pack up Callie's stuff?" I placed the measured out syringes next to Lena and watched as Callie clumsily shoveled yogurt in her mouth. "Alright, I need to get ready to go." I jogged upstairs and rushed through my own morning routine. A blazer, that had to be the right thing to wear, or was I supposed to look like a mom? What in the world does a mom look like? I put on the blazer and made sure my hair looked nicer than it truly was. I needed to trim it.

"Does this look okay?" I asked as I walked past Lena to grab my nice shoes from the closet near the front door.

"Yep, comeback soon. Callie has to be back at the center by six." I walked back into the kitchen and picked up the thick folder on the counter containing all of Callie's medical files.

"Bye, I have a meeting to go to. I'll be back soon, okay?" I called into the living room.

"Bye." Jude called back. I kissed each of them and crouched down in front of Callie.

"Hey, I'm sorry I'm leaving on your last day here, but I'll be back. Okay?" Callie nodded and I squeezed her hands together. "I love you."

"You too." She answered with a small smile. I didn't want to go. Meeting this man was the very last thing I wanted to do, but it needed to be done. I took a deep breath and drove to the courthouse.

"Hey, Stef. Are you ready?" Our lawyer asked as I pulled open a door.

"Yeah." I thanked him as he held the next door open and walked into the judge's office.

"Mrs. Adams – Foster, it's a pleasure to meet you. Judge Donaldson, please take a seat." I handed him the most recent additions to Callie's medical files and he flipped through them quickly. "I'm sure you've done your homework on me, but I specialize in family court cases that involve children with special needs. Though yours is obviously very unique."

"Yes, it is." I agreed staring at a school picture of Callie stapled inside of one of the folders.

"Mr. Quinn. Please take a seat." Judge Donaldson said with a bright smile. The man from the photos took a seat beside me and shook everyone's hand, then he reached out to me. I took a deep breath and gave it a firm shake.

"Robert." He said with a serious shake that made me shiver, he was closed off tightly and it was the exact same expression Callie had when we first brought her home.

"Stef." There was a monotonous rumble of voices as they all began to talk around me.

"Stef, Stef? Are you alright?" My lawyer asked placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Uh – uh. Yeah, I – I'm sorry. I, could I please get some water?" I asked looking around. A glass of water appeared in front of me, and I held it in my hands trying to calm down. "I'm sorry. Where were we?"

"We were just talking about Callie and how great a kid she is. Can you tell us about how you met Callie and your family?"

"Yes, absolutely. My wife, Lena, was contacted by the social worker that had placed our twins, Jesus and Mariana, with us. Bill said that there was a young girl that struggled with male figures that needed a home for a few nights. Lena picked Callie up from juvie and we found out a few days later she had a younger brother and we adopted the two of them about four months ago."

"Everyone here understands that this has nothing to do with Jude, but could you tell us about him?"

"He's the sweetest kid you'll ever meet. Callie is really the only family he's ever known, and she'd give her life for him. She's tried. He's taken the shooting really hard, our whole family has."

"Callie was home this weekend right? For Christmas?"

"Yes, it was great. It was really nice to see them all together." I answered clearing my throat.

"So, Mr. Quinn. You've filed a claim to gain custody of your eldest daughter Callie."

"Yes."

"It's well within your rights to do so, but Callie is almost sixteen. She deserves a say in who she lives with."

"Right, absolutely."

"Cal, she. Sorry, I don't mean to interrupt. But Callie struggles with remembering a lot of things. I don't think she's in a place right now to make a decision like that." I said quickly.

"Absolutely. But, we also have to take these new needs into account."

"I have proof that they have been denying Callie procedures that could greatly improve her quality of life. I understand the financial hardship they may be facing but I can provide her access to treatments that could get her back to where she was in no more than a year." Robert said quickly. He started pulling out binders of paper and flipping through them on the desk.

"Mr. Quinn, please. This is not the time for that conversation." A sharpness began to appear in Judge Donaldson's voice. Ice filled my veins and blood pumped in my ears, he didn't even know Callie. He had never met her and he had never seen her, how could he promise her these things. "Stef, I would like to meet Callie and talk to her." Judge Donaldson said with an easy smile.

"Of course. She'll be back in the center tonight, this is her therapy schedule while she's there. I would recommend before therapy, or if you have to go in the evening I would go on a Wednesday. She has therapy with a friend on Wednesdays so she's usually in a better mood." He wrote down a few notes and opened up a planner.

"We'll give her a few days to get readjusted to the center, get back on schedule. I would like to see her in the morning and the afternoon. You're welcome to be at both, I'll be bringing Callie's social worker with me, but there will be a time when I want to talk to Callie without you there. Her social worker will always be present, but just so Callie doesn't have the pressure of her Mom being there." I nodded.

"When can I meet my daughter?" Pain seeped through Robert's voice, though he hid it quickly.

"Callie doesn't know." I said softly. "We haven't found a good time to tell her. She's been really upset since her last surgery, she's ready to come home."

"How could you not tell her?" Robert sputtered. I was speechless, there were a lot of things that I had prepared myself for. I had a lot of things I wanted to say to Robert swirling around my head, but this was the last straw.

"You don't know her, you don't know what she's like. You haven't had to wake up every few hours to remind her why she can't talk right." I tried to stay calm, I wanted this man as far away from me as possible.

"Don't worry Robert, I'll work with the Fosters and Callie through all of this. You'll be able to meet Callie when the time is right." He handed Robert the updated copies of Callie's medical files and talked through some of them with him. We shook hands and he left, he didn't like me and I didn't like him.

"I know this is hard for you Stef, but we're going to do everything we can for Callie." The Judge reassured me. "Callie is my priority here."

"I know, this is just. This is overwhelming. I hope you know how important Jude is to her though, she went to juvie for him. She got shot at Anchor Beach trying to save him. Jude is her whole world."

"Of course. He's definitely on my list of topics to talk to Callie about."

"What's going to happen? Can, Can Robert get full custody?"

"Callie is going to be a huge part of the custody decision, so it may be a while." He said with a gentle smile. I wiped tears from my eyes and tried to calm down. Callie would never chose to leave Jude. We talked through some of the problems Callie was having now and the future procedures and tests she had lined up and why we chose certain treatments over others. He had a way of wording this questions so I never felt as though I had a wrong answer. He listened and asked questions and actually seemed to care about Callie, I had never seen this side of a judge before. Then again, I had never been in a situation like this before.

Thanks for reading, you guys are the best. I hope I'm able to update soon!

Please review!
-Kodi