Day 13
Meredith sleeps until almost noon. The events of the day before coupled with new medication appear to have exhausted her. While she sleeps I work a little. I mostly do research and answer emails, although I do schedule a few consults. I do it all from my bed, in my pajamas, and I have to admit it's kind of nice. Eventually Meredith stirs beside me.
"Good morning." I smile at Meredith. She squints up at me with pursed lips. I run my fingers through her hair and let her adjust to being awake.
She rubs her eyes and blinks a few times. "Hey." She mumbles her voice still gravelly and full of sleep.
"Good morning" I repeat. She just moans in protest and I begin to think something more than her loathe of mornings is making her grumpy. "Are you okay?"
She groans. "Nooo. My stomach hurts and my incision itches and I have to pee but I don't think I can move because it hurts…" Her voice trails off into another sound of misery. I ache for her because she's just woken up and already she's miserable.
"How about this," I begin, "I'll help you to the bathroom then I'll go make you a quick breakfast so you can take your meds then you can curl up in a ball and go to sleep." She doesn't say anything but instead nods. I climb out of bed before I pick her up like a baby and carry her into our bathroom. I set her down in front of the toilet and help her sit. I want to turn away to give her some privacy but she grabs my hand and holds on tight. I still turn my head, but I squeeze her hand in support. Her sniffles and quiet tears tear me up. I want to drive her back to the hospital and demand a morphine drip. In all likelihood, her body is just having a rough time adjusting to the lower dose of pain medication. When she's done her business, I help her back to bed.
"On a scale of 1 to 10 how bad does it hurt?" I ask as she situates herself in a pile of pillows.
"Like an eight." She whimpers. She finally gets into a sort of comfortable position. From my point of view it looks rather awkward but I don't argue.
"I'll go make you breakfast so you can take your pills." I tell her. She nods and closes her eyes. "I'll be quick I promise."
True to my word, I'm back upstairs, with a bagel and cream cheese, no more than ten minutes later. Meredith's eyes are closed and she's breathing softly but the pinched expression on her face tells me she isn't asleep.
"Hey." I whisper. "I brought food." Meredith's eyes crack open but otherwise she makes no attempts to acknowledge me.
"You only need to eat a few bites." I bargain. "Then you can take you pills and go back to sleep." She shifts some and picks her head up.
"I can't…sit up." She croaks. "Hurts. Too much." I don't know what to do but during my silence she picks her head up again and an idea strikes me.
"Here," I say, while grabbing one of the remaining pillows, "pick your head up again." She complies and I stuff the pillow under her head so that her head is slightly elevated.
"I know it's probably not the most comfortable but it will work." I say when she scrunches her face in discomfort. I feed her a few bites of the bagel before I get her to swallow her pills with some apple juice. She eats the rest of her bagel and when she's done I remove the pillow from under her neck.
"Are you comfortable?" I ask. It feels like a dumb question.
"I think so." Meredith doesn't sound so sure. I move to the other side of the bed and lie down beside her. I grab her hand and intertwine her fingers with mine. Her eyes dip close.
"I'm sorry you don't feel well." I whisper.
"S'okay." She mumbles through the drug induced fog. I smile and lay with her until she's asleep. When I'm sure she's out cold, I roll over and grab my laptop. I sit up against the headboard. However, this time instead of doing work, I pull up Google. I start my search pretty simple: dealing with post liver surgery pain. A few different forums pop up and I peruse all of them. Some people complain of back pain while others complain of pulling around the incision. For the back pain, heat and simple stretches were recommended. For the incision pulling, ice and aloe were advised. No one specifically targets abdominal pain. The one thing I found that was close was a stomach ache and someone recommended lying on their right side. After some investigation I determine that whoever recommended it had most likely had surgery on their intestines and not their liver. I go back to Google and this time I'm a little more specific. This time I found an abundance of advice. Some people recommend light pressure others suggest rubbing the stomach. Some said ice and heat in a continuous cycle helped. There were a couple of positions that were recommended. I took notes on the notebook I had left on my bedside table. I'm anxious to try them but I didn't want to wake Meredith so I keep my excitement to myself.
By the time Meredith is stirring again I have a whole list of ideas. I give her some space while she wakes up but I feel like I'm jumping up and down with excitement. Within seconds the pinched expression of pain is written across her face and I feel relief knowing that I at least have an idea how to help.
"Hey." I whisper.
"Mmmm." She grumbles.
"Are you feeling any better?" I ask as I brush my hand over her cheek.
"No." She scowls and burrows back into her pillow.
"Can I try and help?" I ask.
"Go for it." She grumbles half-heartedly. I climb out bed and move to her side of the bed. I grab a pillow that's resting at her hip and she whimpers.
"That's. Not. Helping." She grits out.
"I know. I know," I placate, "can you bend your knee for me?" She obliges and I stuff the pillow under her hip again. She relaxes a little in the new position.
"Is that better?" I feel hopeful.
'Yeah, yeah it's okay." She sighs. I smile and move my hand to rest on her stomach. I press a little and she moans but not so much in pain but in relief. I rub in small circles, careful to avoid her incision and directly over her liver.
"Is that good?" It feels like an obvious question by the look of relief written across her face.
"Yeah. Don't stop." She breathes. I hadn't planned on it but it feels good knowing she's feeling better. Her breathing evens out and even after I'm sure she's fallen back to sleep I keep going. I only stop when my cell phone rings. I practically dive across the bed to shut the ringer off so it doesn't wake up Meredith.
"Hello?" I answer the phone. I leave the room and thus leave Meredith to her rest.
"Derek, hello." Dr. Bailey's voice crackles through the line.
"Miranda, hi." I say.
"I just wanted to call and check on Meredith after yesterday. How is she?" Bailey asks.
"She's in quite a bit of pain but otherwise okay." I reply honestly.
"Has she had anymore fainting spells?" Bailey sounds like she's taking notes.
"No. She's barely been able to stand up." I say. Bailey makes a humming noise on the other end of the line that sounds neither positive nor negative.
"Has her pain gotten any better throughout the day?" Bailey asks.
"After some internet searching, yeah a little." I shrug. Bailey hums again.
"Okay well I still want to see her on Friday for her one week checkup and if the pain is still bad then we can talk options." Bailey says. "Is that okay?"
"Yep."
"Okay, and 10 o'clock still works." Bailey confirms.
"Yes it's perfect." I say.
"Good then I'll see you both Friday."
"See you then." I say as I hang up. I check on Meredith quickly before I head downstairs. Having not been so absorbed in Meredith makes me realize how hungry I am. I whip myself a quick ham and cheese sandwich. I devour it in a mere minute. I also munch on an apple while I do the dishes and take out the trash. When I'm done, I grab a neurosurgical journal and head back upstairs. Instead of climbing back into bed, I sit in the armchair by the window. It's usually just a laundry collector but, once I clear it off, I find it quite comfortable. I sit and read my journal; occasionally I look up and check on Meredith. She sleeps peacefully and I couldn't be happier.
About an hour later Meredith begins to stir again. I sit ready with the painkillers and some water knowing full well she's going to be in need of another dose.
"Hey." She whispers groggily.
"Hey." I smile at her. "How are you feeling?"
"Still pretty sore but better than before." She sighs.
"You're due for another dose." I say, shaking the pill bottle. She wiggles herself into a sort of sitting position. I hand her the pills and the water and she swallows them quickly.
"Thanks." She says. She shifts a little and grimaces.
"Do you want to try changing positions?" I ask with concern.
"Yeah, my back is starting to hurt." She winces as if to add an exclamation point.
"Why don't you try sitting in the chair?" I suggest as I stand.
"M'kay." She shrugs. I start grabbing pillows and arranging them on the chair based on my earlier online searching. Meredith sits up some and watches me. When I finish, I step back and admire my work. I help Meredith ease out of bed and into the chair. I grab an extra blanket and lay it over her front, tucking the ends around her back.
"Is that okay." I ask.
"Mmm, yeah but," She wiggles her toes. "my feet are cold." I move to the dresser and pull out some socks for her. I kneel down in front of her and slide them over her feet, which, are like little ice cubes.
"Better?" I ask as I stand.
"Yeah." She mumbles. I take that as a sign to shut up so, to make myself feel productive, I move to stand behind the chair and I press my thumbs into her shoulder blades.
"Mmmm" She breathes. "That's nice." I keep going, moving my hands up and down her spine chasing away the tension that's built up over the past week and a half. Lying on your back almost 24/7 can start to become very uncomfortable after a certain point. After a while, it becomes clear that Meredith has fallen asleep so I stop my ministrations and instead move to slide a pillow under her head so her neck won't get sore. When I glance at my watch I'm surprised to find its quickly approaching six o'clock. I leave Meredith to sleep and head downstairs to make dinner. I figure now that she's feeling better the hunger might win over so she'll probably want something to eat. I decide on something that will be easy for the stomach: chicken noodle soup. I've combined all the ingredients and I'm stirring it all together when the doorbell rings. Curious, I head out into the main hall and open the door only to find Cristina Yang on the other side. I almost want to slam the door in her face and tell her to leave Meredith alone.
"Cristina, hi." I greet her but make no move to let her in.
"Are you going to let me in?" She doesn't miss a beat.
"Meredith's sleeping." I keep blocking the door with my body.
"So?" Cristina crosses her arms over her chest.
"So she's had a really bad day and I'd rather she stay asleep." Cristina sighs dramatically.
"Fine, but have her call me or something." She turns and leaves without even saying goodbye. I close the door and sigh in relief. I return to the kitchen and scoop the soup into two bowls. I head upstairs and I find Meredith awake and staring into space.
"Hey." I say setting the bowls on the end table.
"Hey." She mumbles.
"Cristina stopped by." I tell her.
"Oh, okay." She doesn't sound engaged at all.
"She wants you to call her."
"I… okay…I'll do it…sometime…later…" She trails off.
"Would you like some food before you return to Neptune or do you just want to go back to sleep?"
"…whaa?"
"Do you want to eat?" I lay it out simply.
"Mmmm" I assume that's a no.s.
"I love you Meredith." I kiss her temple and wish her luck on her trip back to Neptune.
AN: Hello valued reader. Thanks for returning for another installment of Meredith's recovery. I quite like this chapter. Just remember, there's good days and there's bad days and Meredith is just having a few bad days. Make sure you leave a review on your way out!