I'm sure you all know that I don't own HSM, and if not go look at the A/N's on the other chapters.
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Author: Panthres
Title: Lost& Found
Chapter Title: Verse Five
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A/N- Hey guys!
I know what you're all thinking. Troy and Sharpay get so far, and then get catapulted back to the beginning. DON'T WORRY! They will get to together soon, but they have a couple of serious matters to work out before they could even possibly establish a good relationship, after all it's not just the feelings that matter, but the work that goes behind it.
You have to understand that with Sharpay unable to remember anything that happened before high school would cause some problems, considering the relationship Troy and Sharpay had before East high. -sighs- You'll understand most of what is going on after I post the next couple of chapters, because we finally get to see what caused this whole 'act' to begin in the first place. I think I should shut up, before I give away my whole story...
-Panthres-
Splash…splash…splash…
My eyes watched in fascination as the pearly droplets of water fell out of the sky at a constant rate. Each one hitting the transparent window pane of my third floor bedroom, and making a small thumping noise. It just happened to be the only sound that echoed in my rather large new bedroom.
Empty brown boxes sat piled by the huge open closet doors, and my clothes lay stacked in separate piles on the floor of the large space. My bed was unmade, the sheets still folded neatly inside the plastic container they came in.
Pictures, and other knick knacks had been put up and placed along newly installed shelves of the freshly painted walls. My toiletries had been unpacked inside of my private bathroom, and I was happy with the way it turned out.
My parents had moved quickly, and efficiently. All of my things were sent to me from the mansion, including the car I'd have gotten from them as a Christmas present. It was a marine blue color jeep Compass with GPS tracking, one-hundred seventy-two horse power, and had a 13.6 gallon fuel tank capacity.
Inside the back seat was a present that would have been from my father. A laptop PC fully programmed, and a brand new PSP, that came with about thirty games, and an i-Phone. The entire digital upgrade in one shot, but in reality it was worth nothing to me without the thoughts and feeling that should go alongside the gift.
Sighing softly, I let my eyes glance around my room, feeling happy with the outcome of it so far. Instead of pink, and white, my new bedroom was done in various shades of greens, grays, and black, with white accents. I got the inspiration from my dream journal's cover.
I had never noticed the beautiful way green could cause introspection, and inflict a serene calmness on those near it. It was invigorating, and I actually felt at home inside this room…like a sanctuary for my soul to come and rest. Just let all my troubles fall away.
My eyes traveled towards my unmade bed as I lifted my legs into the air, and rested my feet against the cushioned window sill that I sat upon. Looking past my bed, I stared momentarily out of my balcony doors.
My life had changed so much in the past few months that nothing really hit home yet.
I was seen as a crazy person by most of my peers, I hadn't been to school in almost two months, and was now, thanks to Anna, considered a home-schooled student of East High School. I didn't really know when I'd go back, but for now I had a tutor. I had literally died for ten minutes, and come back to life. My parents temporarily disowned me, and now, I realized that it had only been a week, since I almost killed myself again.
It had been one week since my attempted and almost successful suicide, and I'd been released from the hospital, by a reluctant physician. It'd been one week since I'd ridden home in the Yukon with Anna, and moved into the Bolton home.
Not that any of that really mattered anyways.
Because Troy still hadn't spoken one word to me. It had been a week of him avoiding me, and spending more time away from home than he did inside it. It was so bad, that Troy would leave around six in the morning, and not return until nine at night.
But the fact was that he wasn't cold around me, just…distant. Like he wanted to be there, but he couldn't.
The thing that nagged me the most was the fact that I didn't know why he was so conflicted. All I knew was that this wasn't like all the romance movies, where the girl confesses her love to the man of her dreams, before she saves him by sacrificing herself. She would live, and he would sweep her into his arms, and tell her that he loves her too, before kissing her passionately, and making sweet, sweet love to her all night.
Oh, how I wished it was that easy.
But I knew that something much deeper, and much more complicated was at play here. I wasn't remembering anything about my life before my thirteenth birthday. I couldn't even remember my thirteenth birthday for god's sake.
Huffing in frustration, I wrapped my arms around my calves and rested my chin against my bent knees.
What the hell was wrong with me?
Why couldn't I remember? And why did I forget in the first place? Nothing was making sense to me anymore. It was all so confusing.
My head began to ache slightly, and I bashfully decided that I should drop the subject before I gave myself a migraine. Sighing once again, which I seemed to be doing a lot these days, I turned my head, so it could rest softly against the clear window as it rained.
I was so tired of feeling confused, and lost. I was tired of the rain. I was tired of the storm that was my life, and unfortunately still is.
I wanted so badly to know what was happening to me and why, but every time I thought that a voice in my head would pop up, and I would have to think.
When I do find out what's wrong with me…will I be able to handle it?
My eyes flared with uncertainty, and my stomach turned. I don't think I'd be able to handle the truth, but I wanted to know so bad. I was becoming slightly desperate as to what I should do.
Could it have something to do with a mental health problem?
I scoffed slightly. There was definitely something wrong with my head, after all I hadn't heard of anyone ever able to see and converse with a thirteen year old ghost form of themselves.
My mind swirled with doubts, and ideas about what could possibly be wrong with me. Each one sounding more outlandish and impossible than the last, and I closed my eyes, feeling slightly overwhelmed.
I couldn't even comprehend the reality of what was going on around me, much less why any of this was happening. Better yet, why any of this was happening to me. I mean, I am Sharpay Evans, or at least I was before my parents disowned me.
Frowning, I realized I had no idea whether I was still considered an Evans or not. I shook the thought away. I had too many problems on my plate as it was there wasn't exactly a reason to establish another.
Opening my eyes once again, I stared out at the rain and got lost in the soft beating rhythm as it dropped methodically against the window. It sounded like a song. The instrumental background to whispered lyrics that I could vaguely hear as they lurked around the edges of my mind.
Deciding to chance it, I let go of all reality, allowing myself to be drawn into the harmony of pouring rain that fell in sync with the whispers of words, that I knew only I could hear.
All too often I set my life aside…
I heard the words, unmistakably, but…
All too often my dreams went sailing by…
They were soft, and obviously sung in a low voice by someone familiar. I couldn't place the emotion behind it, because it was too wispy, too fragile and too heartfelt for me to focus on anything but the tremors of feeling that flowed through my body.
A chance of freedom, a chance of fate, it's a chance I'll take…
I shuddered slightly at the well of hope I could barely feel hidden behind clever words, and a steady, but quiet voice.
Oh leave it all to disappear. I'm heading anywhere but here…
I was gently released from the song by my eyelids fluttering open for some reason I couldn't understand.
My brow furrowed in utter confusion. What was that? Who was singing, and why? Why did they sound so familiar, and why…could I connect with the lyrics of that song? Some unknown, or undiscovered part of my being reveled in those words. Rejoiced, that someone, anyone could understand what it was feeling.
Why was this part of me hidden, and why did it appear when nothing made sense. Was this something I forgot too? Why was my heart beating so fast? Could this have something to do with my memory loss?
Could my problem have something to do with my…past?
Why that voice so familiar? Why was it there? What song was it singing? Why could I hear it?
"So you can hear the whispers, too?" asked a tentative voice from behind me. I turned slowly, and my eyes met the shining brown ones of my counterpart.
I studied her silently for a moment longer than absolutely necessary. "What do you mean by whispers?" I asked, my voice soft as I glanced out of the window, and began watching the rain again.
I could feel her gaze burning into me as she sat Indian style right in front of me. Almost knee to knee. "I mean hearing them singing again." she replied, her voice light, but deep with hidden meaning. I didn't turn back to look at her, but continued to watch the rain as it fell from thick clouds.
"You have begun to hear their voices in your dreams, and inside your mind. Like a seesaw, they balance precariously on the teetering edge of your conscious mind. Reach out to them, and they will come. Let their call lead you to the lands of truth." she told me, her eyes intently peering at me.
I was silent for a second. "Who are they?" I questioned, but she didn't answer. When she still didn't respond a few minutes later, I let my eyes shift to where she had been sitting in front of me, only to find the spot empty, and no sign of where she had gone.
I felt my stomach twist uncomfortably at the realization that this was more serious than I had first thought. I leaned back into the curve of the wall, and continued staring out of the window.
Who were 'they'? Was the only question I could ask myself as I sat observing the plundering rain.
The sharp sound of pots clanging against the marbled tile of the downstairs kitchen floor woke me out of my trance an hour later. My eyebrows furrowed as I listened to the startled exclamation of a female from my room.
Cautiously, I made my way down the hall and towards the stairs that would lead to the second story of the three floor house. Tiptoeing I made my way down the first flight of stairs and onto the second one.
I was almost at the bottom when the wooden stair creaked slightly, causing me to cringe before tensing in terror as the noises suddenly stopped. I leapt off the stairs and landed on the wood floor forgetting I had been wearing socks.
I squeaked quietly in terror as I slid across the smooth floor, and flipped over the two steps that led down into the living room. I landed hard on my butt, my face pale, and I took a deep breath praying that whoever was in the kitchen hadn't heard me.
I peeked suspiciously over the arm of the recliner I sat against, making sure the coast was clear.
My eyes zeroed in on an umbrella stand across the room, and near the front door, and I mentally calculated the distance, and cursed when I realized that the entrance hall was visible from the kitchen glass-less window.
What do I do? I thought to myself. Should I go for it, and risk my life, or should I just run?
I thought about how the Bolton's would like the fact that I fled in terror when their house was under siege, and winced slightly comparing what my parents would have done in this situation. I'm sure they wouldn't exactly be happy about that. I could at least try to get him out of here.
Nodding to myself in determination, I prepared myself, and then bolted across the carpeted floor on hands and knees, moving at the speed of light. I dove across the two steps that led towards the front door, and rolled James Bond style behind a large wooden rail that lined the second flight of stairs that led to the second floor.
I peered around quickly, observing my surroundings and eyed the umbrella stand across the floor.
I would have to be fast.
The next thing I knew I was sprinting and I let myself slide across the floor, my eyes focused on my target. I whipped past, snatching an umbrella out of the holder, and diverting myself off course by diving mid-slide into the large couch, and rolling to the floor.
I moved instantly with my umbrella in hand, I ran screaming a battle cry into the kitchen, ready to attack. You can just imagine my surprise when I saw not a burglar, but Troy's fair haired grandmother, Georgia Marie standing there with a shocked look on her face as she stared at me holding the umbrella over my head.
"Sharpay, isn't it?" she asked nonchalantly, still eying my umbrella with a weird glint in her pale green eyes.
I gaped at her the umbrella still in my grip, before I flushed red in embarrassment. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mrs. Marie. I didn't mean to…er…scare you." I apologized quickly, and she simply stared at my hands.
I hurriedly pulled my raised 'weapon' down and stared at her, my cheeks pink. "I'd thought you were a burglar, and I didn't want Anna to hate me because I didn't try to protect her house." I babbled on, completely horrified at the fact that I had almost walloped Anna's mother.
I kept talking, completely unaware of the twinkling green eyes that stared at me in amusement. "It's quite alright, dear girl." she said warmly, a soft smile on her face as she regarded me with amused eyes.
I blushed again.
This was so embarrassing. Just what I needed to do…make myself look like an absolute lunatic in front of Troy's grandmother. I thought sarcastically.
"I'm sure, Anna would appreciate the fact that you tried to protect her home, Sharpay." The much older woman said as she turned her attention back to the counter where she had placed her knife as I ran inside.
The counter was covered with veggies in plastic zip locks, and a couple of packages of meat and bread mix sat upon the marble island top.
She picked up her knife, still looking at me with those pretty green eyes. "But if, I know my daughter, which I do very well, Sharpay, she would have rathered you to be safe than her house." she told me as she began chopping carrots evenly.
I watched her in stunned silence for a second. Was this woman off her rocker?
"Why do you think that?" I asked her in a whisper. Her slightly wrinkled hands stopped the chopping motion, and she glanced towards me, casually blowing some wispy strands of graying red hair out of her eyes. "You can always buy another house, Sharpay. But there is no other Sharpay out there. And if there was…it still wouldn't be you, per say. It would be some girl we don't know with a name just like yours."
Why would anyone want someone like me in the first place? I asked myself as well as voiced my question aloud.
Mrs. Marie looked at me, piercingly. "The question, young one, is why would anyone not want someone like you?"
I stood there, flabbergasted as she smiled gently at me, and returned to her work. What the hell was with this family? They were all so…accepting of me. And who I was right now, even though I had more problems than anyone they'd ever known.
I just didn't understand, why.
I seemed to be unable to understand a lot these days. Mrs. Marie broke into my shocked mind with a raised eyebrow.
"How about you put down that umbrella, and help me start preparing dinner?" she asked me, and I pinked when I realized that I was still holding my 'weapon' in my hands. I ran from the room and placed it back inside the umbrella stand, before walking uncertainly back into the kitchen.
Mrs. Marie smiled at me, and beckoned me closer.
"I don't suppose you've ever chopped vegetables before." she said knowingly, and I nodded slightly in agreement, though I really didn't have to do so.
"Well, I guess I'll just have to teach you, huh?" she asked merrily, before opening a drawer, and placing the knife in my hand. She showed me how to hold it properly and chop evenly with single strokes instead of sawing at it.
Ten minutes later, I was starting to get the hang of it, and Anna's mother was beaming at me. "Good job, Sharpay. You'll have this cooking thing down in no time."
I sincerely doubted that, but seeing the large smile on her face, I couldn't help but smile back in agreement. She was really a sweet woman, with her loving smile, and wise words, and for once in my life I honestly didn't want to be a disappointment to her or Anna.
But the whole thing with Troy was throwing me off. I was worried that I had come back for nothing. And for some reason, his distance hurt me more than anything else.
My smile faded, and a frown began to form on my lips as I thought about it. I just wished he would tell me what I had done that was so wrong.
"Give it time, Sharpay." I heard Mrs. Georgia Marie's voice say gently. I looked over at her, allowing my hand to stop chopping with the knife.
She was looking at me, a weird gleam in her eyes, and if I wasn't mistaken, they were…tears.
I frowned deeply at her, wondering if she knew what I was thinking about.
"Troy will come around, Sharpay." she continued, her voice gentle and soothing.
Apparently she did. I thought dryly.
"There's a lot about his situation that is unknown to you." she told me honestly, before setting aside her finished carrots. "He's hurting so much, Sharpay, but he doesn't know where to go. What he should do, because to understand what's happening, Sharpay. You have to know what has already happened between the two of you."
I blinked in puzzlement. What did that mean?
"I don't understand what you're saying, Mrs. Marie." I told her truthfully, and she sighed heavily as she tore into a package of catfish fillets.
"First of all, call me Georgia. Or Gee Gee. Mrs. Marie makes me feel incredibly old and decrepit." she said with a wry smile. "Secondly, have you ever heard the saying '…you have to know your past, before you can ever really have a future…'?" she asked me her green eyes clouded.
I frowned again, and stared at her. "I've heard it, but what does it have to do with me and Troy?" I asked oblivious.
She sighed heavily, and her shoulders seemed to sag slightly. She prepared the pan of fish in silence and motioned me to continue chopping the vegetables. We worked in silence for the next half-hour and when everything was cooking, and the counter cleaned, I sat on a bar stool watching worriedly as Georgia stood before the sinking, washing her hands slowly.
"Gee Gee…" I began, and she turned around and looked at me, her eyes unusually sad.
She gave me a watery smile, and beckoned me closer to her. I followed her into the living room, where she took a seat next to me on the couch after I'd plopped down.
"I'd like to tell you a story, but only if you're willing to listen. I don't want to be a burden." she said softly, and I stared at her in silence.
I didn't move, and I didn't plan to do so. Georgia smiled tearfully at me again, and she looked at me.
"A few years back, there was a woman I was best friends with. Almost like sisters. She was my confidant, my nemesis, and the one I could turn to any day for help. She was a beautiful lady, and had a heart of gold. She was always willing to help people, just because she could do so. She lived for love, and boy did she show it. No one could be in the same room with Ananchel Jordan without smiling, or being happy." The wisened old lady said sincerely, her eyes glazed over with memories past.
"She lit up a room with her constant smiles, and songs she'd come up with. The one she'd sing the most was what she called, "Be happy." '….Be optimistic…Don't you be a grumpy when the road of life gets bumpy…you're too beautiful to frown so go on sweet one and smile, smile, smile and be happy…." Mrs. Marie had tears falling softly from her eyes as she sung the song, her voice cracking briefly. I felt my own heart feel the familiarity in the words, and her words brought tears to my eyes as I watched this sweet old lady mourn her friend.
"She was always singing that to children at the orphanage she'd worked at. Kids adored her, and adults couldn't help but love her. Once you met her, she had you hooked on her liveliness…Her selflessness and vibrancy. She'd never let you be unhappy without understanding why, and offering comfort. Oh, how she loved those children that she cared for as though they were her own. She wasn't very happy with her only child after she had left the family to marry some rich business man, not caring that her own father was on his deathbed when she left. Jerry Jordan died two weeks after his daughter left with her fiancé, and when Ananchel informed her only child of his death, there were no tears, and she had flat out told her mother she was far too busy to even consider coming back. From that day forward, her smiles were never as bright, and you didn't hear her singing as often. I was so upset when I found out what that girl had done to her own mother. She recovered slightly when she learned that her daughter had given birth. Ananchel had two grandchildren from her daughter. Ananchel was destroyed when she found out that her daughter favored her son, over her little girl. So she took it upon herself to be a mother to the child. Ananchel would throw her granddaughter private birthday parties, just for her. They would drive, sing and dance and do everything under the sun that her little ray of sunshine wanted to do."
Georgia was still crying as she told her story, and I sat there mesmerized by the torrent of emotions I could feel flowing from her.
"One time, her granddaughter had asked her to play as though they were puppies once, and Ananchel actually did, but ended up being stuck on the floor as she couldn't get up after almost two hours of crawling around, and playing." She laughed through her tears, and I couldn't help the smile that flitted across my face at the thought.
She must've really loved her granddaughter. I thought, not realizing I had vocalized it as well.
Georgia's eyes sparkled with love and tears as she smiled at me. "Oh you can never imagine the pure love, and pride she had for her granddaughter. Everything that child did, she was there, screaming the loudest, and supporting her the most. That child meant everything to Ananchel. She cherished her, and loved her with every part of her being, and I wish, so badly, she had not been so unjustly taken away from the child, especially when she was needed the most."
"I remember, just like it was yesterday. She and her little one went out shopping and we were at the store when the little girl suddenly stopped and started staring at something. We didn't know what to think until she said, "Grandma, can you see the sparkling lady dancing?" Ananchel followed her granddaughter's pointing finger to the woman who was doing a sidewalk show. She was an amazing tap dancer, and her granddaughter went wild with happiness when she pulled off this amazing shuffle-back-step-hop and then flip combination. Ananchel found this so amusing, and when the child turned back and asked if she could learn to do that, my friend instantly said yes."
"We wasted away the rest of the afternoon by looking for tap classes for the child, but we had a great time." sighed Georgia.
I smiled at her, hesitantly and Mrs. Marie smiled back.
I spent the afternoon listening as Georgia described some hilarious memories of her and her best friend, Ananchel. I was entranced by the way she'd get so into the story, wondering how it was possible for someone to get so into her tales, as though she was reliving them.
Dinner that night was a fun-filled affair, and Georgia's smiles reassured me, that everything would work out, and I felt a little bit better, but still disappointed that Troy had once again, not shown up for dinner.
I went up to bed, my mind swirling, but feeling slightly happy for the first time in days.
I crawled into my makeshift bed, and fell asleep almost instantly, unaware of the tearing brown eyes that watched me from the corner of my room.
"There are many things I want to say to you…." Sang a quiet voice that would have been all too familiar if I'd been awake to hear it.
"You're the girl I at once wanted to be…." she whispered melodically from the shadows, and her verse ended with a soft sob as she sung her next line, "You heartbroken sixteen-year old me…."
Two ghostlike tears fell to the ground, making no sound as they vanished mid-air, before she faded into the shadows and her presence disappeared.
As I dreamed, I swore I heard my door open, but it was instantly forgotten as the whispers that tiptoed around the edges of my mind, increased slightly in volume.
All too often the dreams I've dreamed have died…
There was another voice with it, but it too sang just as softly, and lovingly as the one before it.
And all too often I'm never satisfied…
It was recognizable, but from where I couldn't remember.
A chance of freedom, a chance of fate, it's a chance I'll take…
A memory fluttered across my mind, but it slipped through my grasp.
Oh leave it all to disappear. I'm heading anywhere but here…
The duet continued its melody echoing in my ears.
Because I want a life, a souvenir…
It was just her voice now, no longer combined with his.
I'll find it anywhere but here…
The final note died out, and the voices vanished as I was captured by sleep. The first blissfully peaceful night, I'd had in far too long.
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