Chapter 14. The Offer.

Zelgadis roamed the halls of Seyruun castle gloomily. What with the whole Amelia-possibly-being-forced-into-marriage thing and people alternatingly telling him to stay away from her and marry her… he was a little out of sorts. And he hadn't even been able to unburden himself at all.

He'd thought about mentioning the rumor Lina had heard to Amelia, but decided against it. It was a rumor. Who knew where it came from? It was probably just the mindless gossip of one of the cooks. At this point in the Myrtle-approved diet the castle was under, Lina would probably believe anything said by someone holding food. And there was no sense worrying Amelia over something that might not be true after all.

And he certainly wasn't going to share Lina's little brainwave as to what he and Amelia should do if the rumor turned out to be true.

…It probably wasn't true. Phil was a great dad and the idea of him selling his youngest daughter into marriage was just… unacceptable. He wouldn't risk losing her like that. Not after all the royal family had gone through.

…Still… it was worrying. Zelgadis resolved to keep an eye open for any sign that this unlikely rumor was true.

"Mister Greywords," an unpleasantly sharp female voice said from behind him.

Zelgadis swore inwardly as he turned around to see Lady Myrtle walking behind him. This fell firmly in the category of "what I don't need right now."

"What?" he asked bluntly.

"I must speak with you," Myrtle commanded.

Zelgadis scowled. You know what? he thought. I have enough things to worry about without having to chat with Myrtle. To hell with politeness. "I don't think that would be enjoyable for either of us," he retorted.

Myrtle raised one slightly overgrown brow. "Over the years, Mister Greywords, I have grown used to unenjoyable tasks," she said tersely. "The fact of the matter is that you and I will speak on this highly important matter concerning you, and you will not get rid of me until we are through, young man."

That appeared to be that. "Fine," Zelgadis said, starting to get extremely irritated by this whole exchange. "What did you want to say?"

Myrtle nodded to one of the empty offices in the palace. "In here, Mister Greywords," she said.

Oh that's just perfect, Zelgadis thought bitterly. This is the part where a goon knocks me out, a sack goes over my head, and I get shipped off to the Outer World, right? Nevertheless, he followed her.

Myrtle crossed to the desk in the room and took a seat behind it, gesturing to Zelgadis to take one of the three chairs in front of it. There was a bit of a sense of déjà vu and he wondered for a moment if she'd found more suitors for Amelia to taunt him with. She didn't appear to be shuffling through any papers though.

In fact she was just sort of sitting there, her chin resting on her steepled fingers as she stared at him. It was a nasty sort of stare with a sneer playing on her lips. She looked like she was mentally dissecting him and weighing up the pieces.

Zelgadis was about to break through the long silence and ask again why she wanted to talk to him when she opened her mouth and said: "Ten thousand gold coins."

Zelgadis stared back at her, trying to find some sense in this. He didn't find any. "What?" he asked blankly.

"I will pay you ten thousand gold coins," Myrtle said, a steely, determined look in her grey eyes, "if you leave this castle and never return."

Zelgadis reeled angrily. "There's no call for that," he shot back. "You may not like me but does that really give you the right to—"

"I know, Mister Greywords," Myrtle said leadenly.

Zelgadis felt a nameless chill fill his body even as he said: "Know what?"

"About your little garden liaisons with my grand-niece," Myrtle said with a corrosive smile that owed nothing to humor. "About how you've been enticing her away from the palace on a nightly basis."

Oh no…

"Obviously as a guardian of Seyruun and a protector of my family I cannot allow this to continue," Myrtle said seriously. "If words about your… meetings gets out then the princess's reputation could be irreversibly damaged. Especially during this crucial time when suitors are looking to join with our family. Can you imagine how they'd react if they found out that the princess was wasting her time in a relationship with some common mercenary who has no business marrying her? The scandal would ruin her."

"You're wrong," Zelgadis said fervently, feeling the anger bubble in the pit of his stomach. "It's not what you think."

"Tell me what I think," Myrtle said with a dangerous sort of calm.

"The wrong thing!" Zelgadis exploded back at her.

She stared at him with the same immovable expression from the tranquil waters of fury and sighed. "Have it your way, Mister Greywords. Fifty thousand gold coins and not one iota more."

Zelgadis nearly fell out of his chair. Myrtle wanted to get rid of him bad. "Are you insane?" he demanded, now completely shot of his cool. "I'm not going to sit here and be insulted like this!"

"Fifty thousand gold coins is a lot of money," Myrtle reminded him. "And there are other girls in this world."

Zelgadis glared at her. "I can't believe you think you can bribe me with that. Is this really how you conduct business in Halrune?" he asked harshly. "Well, I'll have no part in it," he said forcefully.

"You stupid boy," Myrtle said, a hiss of the contents-under-pressure rage within her finally leaking out. "With that kind of money you could buy a lordship, double-cross me and come back to marry Amelia if you so desired. What would I be able to do about it?"

"You know what?" Zelgadis said, temper flaring. "You can keep your lordship. If this is the kind of nobility that the upper class aspires to then I don't want anything to do with it. Amelia's wrong: I'm not noble. But at least I have more integrity than you."

"I have integrity enough to protect my family," Myrtle fired back. "And I will do so at any cost. Think. Reject my generous offer and I could have you jailed to get rid of you. I am a duchess with an army of my own. Due process stands no chance against me."

"Go ahead then!" Zelgadis dared her. "I've been in jail before," he added, because he knew it would mortify her. "I always seem to get out in the end."

Myrtle leaned forward and treated him to a high-intensity glare. "Not out of mine you won't," she said in a tone that implied barbed wire and scorpion-filled dungeons.

"Well, I guess we'll just have to wait and see," Zelgadis challenged. "Because I'd rather rot in your dungeons than take your filthy money." He got up to leave.

"You're making a big mistake, Mister Greywords," Myrtle said dangerously.

Zelgadis whipped around to glare back at her. "No, you're the one that's making a mistake," he said. "You know, I'll admit, I didn't like you at all before. You're a sadistic control freak who'd rather intimidate people than talk to them. You think you know better than anyone else and will steamroller over anyone who gets in your way. But I at least thought you had more class than this."

"I'm supposed to take a pile of money and agree to just abandon a friend? What kind of person do you think I am?" Zelgadis asked, insulted. "You sicken me," he said.

The guiltless look of opposition on Myrtle's face was enough that Zelgadis had to get one last parting line in before he slammed the door. "Fifty thousand gold coins? Is that really all you think Amelia is worth?"

Slam.

Myrtle sat in the empty room, watching the place where Zelgadis had left. Finally, she said to no one in particular: "No. But I thought you did."

That evil-minded, unscrupulous, deceitful old hag! Zelgadis thought angrily as he stormed down the hall on a fresh adrenaline rush from his horrible meeting with Myrtle. Where did she get the nerve to—

Well, first off, she shouldn't have made any assumptions about him and Amelia. So what if they were meeting in the garden late every night? That didn't have to be… bad. Even if he couldn't honestly have expected Myrtle to guess that they were brewing a potion, there were certainly other things that they could be doing besides…

He felt the blood in his face heat up and abruptly looked at the ground. Anyway, it was ridiculous for her to be so presumptive. The fact that Myrtle's mind jumped there automatically said something about her.

But even if Myrtle had been right about what was going on, that still wouldn't have excused her actions. So what if he and Amelia actually were… involved? Was bribing and threatening to get rid of him really the appropriate action for a duchess to take?

And the thing that really upset him was that she honestly thought he was the kind of person who'd take her up on that offer. What kind of person willingly agrees to abandon their friend (and, worse yet, Myrtle thought they were lovers) for money? Even Lina Inverse wouldn't stoop that low.

…Well, to be fair, she might've taken the money and immediately double-crossed Myrtle, but that was another story.

It just… he really wanted to punch a wall at this point. Did people in Myrtle's class really think that they could bully everyone else into doing what they wanted by throwing some money around? It was disgusting.

And she hadn't even bothered to consult Phil about any of this. She'd just decided to take matters into her own hands.

It didn't do any good to call her out on any of this either. The woman thought she was fully justified. He couldn't stand the idea of even being in the same room as her anymore even just thinking about it.

Well, he realized he might not have to endure that for much longer if Myrtle made good on her threat to have him jailed. He knew it wasn't an empty one. She could bring some trumped up charge against him, or, better yet, dig deep to find a real charge to keep him on. Yes. That would be more like her. Even Phil and Amelia probably wouldn't be able to do much if the charge was real.

At times like this he really regretted all those smash-and-grabs at temples.

It was just all so stupid and unfair. Myrtle had had him picked out from the start. Why him? Anyway, so what if people started rumors? Amelia's reputation had weathered being friends with the infamous Lina Inverse. Would being with him really be that much worse?

…I think I will punch that wall now.

The sound of the stone castle taking the brunt of his anger drew footsteps. Great, Zelgadis thought. Maybe someone will run and tell Myrtle and she can get me on destruction of castle property too.

"Mister Zelgadis?" Amelia said as she turned the corner and appeared in the hallway. Then she took in his expression. "Are you okay? What happened?" she asked worriedly.

Part of Zelgadis really wanted to say "it's nothing" and just leave her out of this. But it was getting to be too much now, even for him. Anyway, at least she could have some fair warning if he was incarcerated at the Duchess's pleasure.

"Your great aunt found out about our garden meetings," he said walking along as she fell into step at his side.

"Oh no!" Amelia exclaimed, a look of miserable remorse crossing her face. "I'm so sorry, Mister Zelgadis! I saw her last night on my way to the garden. I thought I threw her off with an excuse, but she must've seen me leave." Her eyes looked wide and wavery. "It's all my fault."

"No," Zelgadis said. "She's been sneaking around behind the scenes this whole time. It was only a matter of time before she found out anyway."

"But what are we gonna do?" Amelia asked. "Is she going to try to stop us from finishing the spell?"

Zelgadis shuffled uncomfortably. Oh well. They'd gotten this far. Might as well confess it all. "She doesn't actually know about the potion," he said. "She uh… seems to think something else is going on."

"What does she—" Amelia began. Then she paused. Her face reddened and she said: "Oh."

Oh indeed, Zelgadis thought.

Amelia had a moment to try this idea on and then exclaimed in a tone of dread: "She'll kill us."

"Only me," Zelgadis said. "I think she's just going to make you stand in the corner for awhile."

"What did she say to you?" Amelia asked, a look of horror crossing her face.

Zelgadis gave a pained sort of scowl. "She tried to bribe me into leaving. Then when I wouldn't take the money she threatened to have me imprisoned."

Amelia nearly fell over as they walked along from the shock. "She can't!" she exclaimed. "Daddy would never allow it. I'd never allow it!"

"Amelia," Zelgadis said impatiently. "I've done a lot of things that weren't exactly following the law while trying to get my body back. Myrtle's not even going to need to make up an excuse if she looks far enough. There's nothing you or Phil would be able to do."

"No!" Amelia said, pumping her fist furiously. "I'd break you out if I had to!"

That would really endear him to Myrtle: making the princess of Seyruun an accomplice in his escape. "I'm hoping it won't come to that," Zelgadis said, turning his eyes back to the floor as he walked.

Amelia followed him thoughtfully. Finally she asked: "Can't we just explain to her that we're not having sex?"

Zelgadis tripped over nothing and was barely able to keep himself from falling. It was just… well, he hadn't expected her to just say it like that! Like it was no big deal! She was supposed to hem and haw and say "you know." She wasn't supposed to say…

Never mind. Zelgadis recovered his stride and tried to get his mind back together as he answered: "I already tried that. She doesn't believe me."

"So… what are we going to do then?" Amelia asked again.

"I don't know," Zelgadis said. "I honestly don't know."

"You can't be leaving!" Phil exclaimed. "You only just got here!"

"Honestly, Philionel," Myrtle said with a suspicious expression as she stood in the great hall with her baggage-toting husband as Phil, Amelia, Zelgadis, Lina, and Gourry watched her in a sort of confused haze. "I don't know why you invited me or why you want to keep me around considering you haven't heeded any of my valuable advice. But it ends now. I have more important things requiring my attention and I can see I'm not making any headway here. I'm going back to Halrune."

Zelgadis had heard through the grapevine that morning that Myrtle was leaving. And yes, it was surprising. But he took very little solace in it. It didn't mean that Myrtle's vendetta against him would cease. The woman was determined. She was probably just going back to Halrune to give him a false sense of security while she trudged through his past to find something incriminating. And then she'd send her army out to collect him. Problem solved.

"It's been a lovely visit," Edmund announced cheerily. "We should do these more often."

"Yes," Phil agreed vehemently. "Starting with extending this stay!"

Lina had mixed feelings. She could see why Phil was bent on keeping Myrtle there. They needed her as pressure on Zelgadis. Once Myrtle was gone he wouldn't have to worry as much about Amelia getting married off. He'd relax and then their whole plot would be back at square one. On the other hand…

On the other hand: good riddance you nasty old bitch!

"Enough, Philionel," Myrtle admonished. "I think I liked you better when you were avoiding me."

She picked up her handbag, which was tiny in comparison to all the luggage her frail husband was carrying. She looked around the room. "Good-bye, Philionel, Amelia," her eyes settled on Zelgadis, Lina, and Gourry and she gave them the same "you are vermin" look she'd given them when she first arrived, "friends of the crown," she added cruelly through her teeth.

"Oh, and Mister Greywords," she said, her sharp eyes focusing on Zelgadis.

Zelgadis braced himself. What would it be? A parting threat perhaps? Something to remind him that she wasn't done with him? Or perhaps a revelation of her suspicions in front of Phil. That was all he needed. Unnaturally kind man or not, Phil would probably break his kneecaps.

Her eyes rested on him for a long time. Finally she sighed and said: "Just take the knighthood."

Okay… that was not what he'd expected.

WHAT?

"You're not going to get anywhere with this reverse version of elitism you've been clinging to," Myrtle said. "You've got to make some concessions and there's absolutely nothing wrong with a knighthood. It's an earned position, so you can't complain about it being something you're born into or bribe your way into. And I understand that you are qualified for it."

Zelgadis was still not quite able to make words.

"And for gods sakes don't dawdle," Myrtle said sharply. "I think you must be able to appreciate that matters such as this are time sensitive."

"And," she continued, "you don't have to talk to me or anything, but I do expect to get an invitation. I expect Amelia will be polite enough to remember that."

Zelgadis and Amelia exchanged a look. She was sporting the exact same stunned expression he imagined was on his own face.

He turned back to Myrtle and was finally able to verbalize: "What?"

Myrtle rolled her eyes. "Don't be simple," she said. She turned back to her husband. "Come along, Edmund."

"Yes, my treasure," Edmund cooed, following the bustling woman out of the hall with baggage in tow.

Zelgadis turned his look of open-mouthed shock on the others. "What?" he repeated.

"Apparently," Phil rumbled, a bemused expression breaking through his own surprise, "she approves of you."