xJadeRainx: Bonjour viewers, and bienvenue to another thrilling episode of The Fish Dish! And if you look to my right, you will notice none other than Converse r life! She will help me host today.
Converse r life: That's right, I'm totally amazing!
*Flashing light signals applause*
*Audience cheers*
xJadeRainx: Today is sure to be a truly bloody combat!
Converse r life: Oh, it will be gory!
*Audience gasps*
xJadeRainx: As per request of the unbelievably spectacular fan, Converse r life, we, here on The Fish Dish are going to have a battle of with between siblings.
Audience: Oooh, Ahhh.
Converse r life: Bask in my glory!
xJadeRaix: I think they were reacting to the battle of the wits.
Converse r life: No, they weren't.
xJaderainx: *Shrugs* Yes, it is sure to be an uber exciting event, but it is bound to grow deadly, and quickly at that, so, before I introduce the siblings, I think it would be prudent to enforce some extra safety measures, don't you?
*Audience murmurs in agreement.*
xJadeRainx: Excellent. Now, what better way, to keep a bunch of their children in line, than their own mothers? Mothers' have that kind of power and authority, don't they?
*Unsure murmuring from the studio audience*
xJadeRainx: *Sighs worriedly* Well, it's worth a shot. Carl, send out the moms!
*Two Ariel's appear on stage and take their seats, staring at one another ominously*
xJadeRainx's Ariel: *Hisses* You still have my face.
Converse r life's Ariel: I do believe that it is YOU who has MY face!
xJadeRainx's Ariel: I beg to differ...
*Ariel's words are cut off by a loud splash from a corner of the stage*
*A construction crane has just dropped Attina into The Fish Dishes' oversized aquarium*
Attina: *Grumbling* I did not enjoy that.
xJadeRainx: Hi, Attina. *Gasps* Oh, no! Just look at that massive puddle! *Bites lip* That's a safety hazard. Kyle!
*Kyle the intern runs on set* Yes miss, xJadeRainx?
xJadeRainx: Grab a mop and clean up that mess.
Intern: Right away!
*Kyle disappears into a storage closet.*
xJadeRainx: Okay, while Kyle takes care of the puddle, we'll go to a commercial break. In the meantime, don't touch that remote!
Commercial: *Female voice over* There is no better way than to spend the Easter holidays than with your friendly Evil Bunnies and Cookies, so come on down to your local mall! Free photographs wit the Evil Easter Bunny and delicious sugar cookies for ever good little girl and boy! Hurry, Easter is almost here!
xJadeRainx: And we're back! While we were o break, we systematically filed our siblings into the studio under the watchful eyes of our mother hens. Now, we have Cricket and Jade in our awuarium with referee Attina, and we also have Hali, and Melody, Harmony and Melody, and Emma and Suze! Our land referees are Ariel and Ariel!
Converse r life's Ariel, Honestly, do we really have to have the same names?
Converse r life: Yes, you do. Now, stop asking questions.
xJadeRainx's Ariel: How is thins going to work, exactly?
xJadeRainx: *Scratches chin* Hmmm, let's split the siblings into teams.
Converse r life: Older Sisters vs. Young Sisters!
*Audience whistles ans cheers*
Hali: *Sadly* But I wanted to be on the same team as Harmony.
xJadeRaix: Well you can't always get what you want.
Converse r life's Ariel: But if you try, sometimes, you get what you need!
xJadeRainx: What is she talking about?
Converse r life: I rarely have any idea.
xJadeRainx: All right siblings, to your battle stations!
*Team Older Sisters: Harmony, xJadeRainx's Melody, Jade, and Emma*
*Team Younger Sisters: Converse r life's Melody, Hali, Cricket, and Suze*
xJadeRainx: Who will win this epic battle?
Converse r life: Harmony's side of course.
xJadeRainx: Excuse me dear friend, but it is Hali's team that shall reign victorious!
Converse r life: You wish!
Producer: A-hem.
xJadeRainx: Oh... right.... this is supposed to be a battle of wits between siblings. *to Converse r life* Truce?
Converse r life: For now.
xJadeRainx: Whateves. Are you ready siblings! Round one. Dish the dirt on your opposing sisters.
Converse r life: Team Older Sisters is up first!
Harmony: Melody called me a whore in front of the entire court, during a formal ball!
*Audience covers their mouths in horror*
xJadeRainx's Melody: Hali has blackmailed me more times than I can count.
*Audience tuts in disbelief*
Jade: Cricket makes me look totally lame in from of any potential love interest. *Seething* It's her fault that I'm still single!
*Audience whispers among themselves*
Emma: Suze... Suze... well, actually, I'm the one who makes Suze's life a living Hell. She doesn't stand a chance against me.
Team Older Sisters: Emma! That's not helping!
Harmony: *Disapproving* Yeah, totally not cool, Em...
xJaderainx: Okay, referees, tally up your scores for round one.
*All three referees deliberate*
*Score board reads: Older Sisters 3 points, Younger sisters 0 points*
Converse r life: Time for round two. Younger siblings... rebuttal. Go!
Hali: *Evil Smirk* Melody had sexual relations with Lance BEFORE they were married!
*xJadeRainx's Ariel gasps in horror*
xJadeRainx's Melody: That's a life!
Hali: *Smoothly* Is it?
xJadeRainx: Let's move on, Converse r life's Melody... you're up, now.
Converse r life's Melody: Well, Harmony kissed a boy that I liked!
Hali: Lame.
Cricket: Seriously? She's making us look bad.
Converse r life: Suze, do you have any dirt on your big sis?
Emma: Aside from the fact that Emma raised me and my brother... we'll she COULD be nicer.
Cricket: *Snorts* Older sisters are never nice.
xJadeRainx: Well then, Cricket, you have a chance to defend yourself. Is it really your fault that Jade is still single?
Cricket: Neptune no! Jade will end up an old spinster because her snoring is atrocious. Really, you should try sharing a room with her. Do you see these bags under my eyes? She kills my beauty sleep!
Converse r life: Referees, it's deliberation time again!
*The three moms talk amongst themselves*
*Score reads: Older Sisters 3, Younger Sisters 3*
xJadeRainx: We're all tied up now, folks! We'll see you again after the break.
Commercial: *Deep male voice over* Come to the first annual Zombie Librarian vs. Evil Bunnies and Cookies death match! Who will bring glory to their side? Be there and find out! Get you're I heart Zombie Librarian bumper stickers and show your support!
Converse r life: And we're back... again...
xJadeRainx: What's the big idea? This is my show! You can't just step on my lines like that?
Converse r life: Why not? I just did!
xJadeRainx: *Sigh* Never mind. For round two, the sisters are going to speak of a quality that they admire in their opposing sibling!
Converse r life: *Chuckles* Yeah right!
Both Ariel: I think that's a great idea! *Death glares*
Attina: Well you know the old saying, if you can't say anything nice...
xJadeRainx: Ah... words to live by now siblings....
*Harmony mutters something under her breath and a blast of florescent pink light is shot at Team Younger Sisters*
*Team Younger Sisters squeal*
Attina: Hey, that's a foul! We agreed no magic during the battle of the wits. Team Older Sisters, we're deducting a point from your score.
*Scoreboard reads: Team Older Sisters 2, Team Younger Sisters 3*
*Cricket sticks out tongue*
Harmony: *Shrugs* I don't care. It was totally worth it.
Hali: *Angrily* Oh, yeah? *Hali growls 'Маланка' and a bolt of white hot lightning is directed at Team Older Sisters*
Team Older Sisters; Eeek!
xJadeRainx's Ariel: Hali! That is quite enough!
*Harmony wastes not time in casting another devastating spell*
Converse r life's Ariel: Harmony! Control yourself!
Harmony: Oh, shut up, Ariel! You think you can lock me in the dungeon and throw me out with noting but the clothes on my back and a stuffed bear in my arms, in the middle of WINTER and tell me what to do? Now, Stand aside!
*Harmony blasts Team Younger Sisters, but Hali blocks it with a spell of her own*
xJadeRainx's Ariel: You did that to your own DAUGHTER? How could you?
Converse r life's Ariel: I was under a lot of stress!
Attina: That is hardly an excuse...
*Hali sends more white hot lightning, causing xJadeRainx's Melody's hair to become a frizzed mess*
All referees: Stop this!
*Harmony blast Team Younger Sisters with more florescent pink light*
*Cricket and Jade, having no special powers, commence into a catfish fight*
Producer: Thirty seconds left!
xJadeRainx: This is going to end badly...
Converse r life: Yeah...
Producer: Off air in ten seconds!
xJadeRainx: All right, referees, let's see if we can tame these wild beast that you bore into the world. Until next time, this has been 23 skidoo, the Fish Dish and you!
Converse r life: Wait! Who won the battle of the wits?
Attina: No one. Each team is disqualified.
Teams Older and Younger Sisters: Aww man!
*Ending credits and music*
Ultra Special Blah Blah
This chapter is dedicated to the one, the only Converse r life. Do you see how much you mean to me?
*Knock, knock, knock*
xJadeRainx: Huh? That's strange. I wasn't expecting any visitors.
*xJadeRainx Answers door*
UPS Guy: Delivery for xJadeRainx!
xJadeRainx: That's me.
UPS Guy: Sign here, please.
*xJadeRainx sings* Thanks.
*UPS Guy leaves*
*xJadeRainx inspects package, which appears to be a crate*
xJadeRainx: I wonder who it's from? *Checks tag* Oh, it's from Anima! How thoughtful! But... what's inside?
I want to be the very best, like no one ever was,
xJadeRainx