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Disclaimer: Kishimoto is owned by Naruto.
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Chapter 14 – The Ghost Writer
The first visual indication that villages were being franchised came in the form of a new symbol on the forehead protectors of the ninja showing up for autographs. A half circle with lines radiating out from it – like a sun.
Gaara's ANBU and Konoha's ANBU returned from Waterfall with news that upon Jiraiya's death his account was held in escrow for one year. When no one stepped forward as an heir the money was turned over to the state. That avenue was now closed. Naruto was beaten upside the head, though, for not claiming the funds which, it turned out, had been clearly identified in his sensei's will.
Naruto's defense was that since his fifteen-year-old self knew he was inheriting a fortune from his parent's estate when he turned eighteen he didn't think at the time he would need any more money. Everyone had sighed in resignation. If there was one thing Naruto was not it was greedy.
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As the week progressed Sakura found herself getting anxious. She cared a great deal for Sasuke as a friend and as… well she had a special place in her heart for him since he had been her first love.
Nami had practically moved into the apartment and her father had even showed up a couple times to have private conversations with Itachi.
The morning of the seventh day Sakura and Nami surprised everyone by hugging and crying. They refused to tell anyone what it was about and, well, seeing as the only other people in the room were men they just figured it was PMS or something and blew them off.
Sakura scheduled a meeting with Lady Suzu for the following day. Despite Nami's assurances that she and Itachi would still be happy if they did not receive permission to marry Sakura knew that deep down inside the woman did care a great deal about it. If she didn't, Itachi wouldn't have bought her an engagement ring and she wouldn't have gotten excited over it. She was just cushioning herself in case Lady Suzu said "no".
The next day Lady Suzu met Sakura in the tea room for lunch. The brightly lit restaurant consisted of round tables with starched white table-clothes, napkins and an abundance of flowers. The ceramic tea-pots all contained a floral print as did the delicate tea-cups. Tea was accompanied in British style with cucumber sandwiches, dainty cakes and tasty chocolates. Sakura made a mental note to bring Temari, Nami and Uran down for tea soon.
"So, Sakura dear what is it you wanted to talk to me about?" Lady Suzu was primly attired in a lavender suit. She also had added a silver stud under her bottom lip.
Sakura sipped her tea (orange pekoe) and set the cup down on the saucer. "I wanted to ask permission for Nami and Itachi to marry." A direct statement was always the best way to begin such conversations.
Lady Suzu gave Sakura a crooked smile. It was almost calculating. "Nami has been wearing an engagement ring for several weeks now. I see you waited until now to ask. Can I take that to mean you have examined her motives and given her a passing grade?"
Sakura was a little taken aback by the woman's forwardness and observational abilities. For a Daimyou's wife she was very… different. Unexpected.
"Yes." Sakura didn't see the point in explaining why she thought so. She wondered if Lady Suzu already knew.
Lady Suzu gave a short laugh. "Then they have my approval. It is better for you all to work this out than for me. As Itachi and Nami's friends, you would be, should be in a better position to detect false pretenses. How soon do they wish to be wed?"
Sakura breathed a sigh of relief and gave Lady Suzu a big smile. "After Sasuke marries. That will be after he returns to Konoha. They need to do things in a certain order, apparently, to guarantee Sasuke is legally the clan chief so there won't be any arguments in later generations."
"Of course. I completely understand. My husband deals with at least one of those complaints every year." She laughed. "He got so mad a few years back at one clan that he almost disbanded them. They panicked and withdrew the complaint."
They ate their sandwiches and nibbled on cakes and chocolates for several minutes when the subject turned to the autograph sessions.
"They are going well." Sakura smiled. "I'm seeing some new head bands though."
"Ah yes. The sun. It is all pervasive here in Wind country, is it not?" Lady Suzu smiled, raising one eyebrow to make her point.
Sakura kept smiling but for some reason felt a chill run up her spine. The picture was only half a sun. A half circle. Like… a sunset or a… She gulped then hid her shock by drinking some tea. Sunrise. It looked like a sunrise.
"How many countries' hidden villages have you purchased so far?" Sakura asked off-handed.
"Twelve. Most are countries that are far from here and you've probably never seen their ninja. It turns out that since the last war a lot of the smaller villages were unable to keep up and went bankrupt almost immediately. They had no business sense and made bad fiscal decisions. By stepping in as we have we have been able to rebuild several villages and even strengthen them. We even worked out deals with the countries they were in to provide security and support. Two wars were diverted in the process, saving thousands of lives. We are very proud of our accomplishments." Lady Suzu's candid response surprised Sakura. It really sounded like the woman and her husband were helping these villages. Could it be true?
Sakura sighed. "It sounds like a dream come true. Some people claim peace is a state with no war. However, there will always be conflict. Clans feud, banks are robbed, workers are underpaid, psychopaths kill. If the ninja can be used to help people caught in those situations then I feel better. Like I exist for a reason."
Lady Suzu gave Sakura a real, heartfelt smile. "Peace is more of a comfort zone than a reality. The absence of open-warfare is the easiest definition, but there is also hidden hostility and political intrigues that can cause death and discomfort. An embargo prevents food and medicine from passing borders, causing starvation and plague. People cannot pass borders, splitting up families. Goods, both raw and finished, cannot be transported, causing business to fail. Separatist philosophies cause misunderstandings leading to hatred and fear. My husband and I are trying to help the ninjas be a force to help peace prevail."
Sakura didn't know what to think about that. The woman seemed to be explaining what was going on but she needed to think about what she was saying. Careful not to express an opinion Sakura nodded her head and said she understood the problem and wished them luck in their endeavors.
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That evening she reiterated the conversation to the group (minus Kabuto who was currently having dinner with the two shrine maidens in one of the restaurants). There was much rejoicing at the news that Itachi and Nami would be allowed to wed, but guarded skepticism at Lady Suzu's words.
"It sounds like it could work." Sasuke said quietly.
Sakura spoke hesitantly. "She is creating a global police force."
"It's a difficult situation. I'll send a message to the Hokage and Kazekage." Kakashi shook his head. The situation was politically motivated, but there were other things to consider as well. The biggest consideration was what would the Daimyou do once he got all his hidden villages up to full power. Were they truly a police force to keep peace in the various countries, or a single army to attack and take over the countries?
"Sakura, why did she tell you this stuff?" Naruto asked.
"I don't know. She was more candid today and less like an air-head. Also, it was weird and I don't know why I would even bring it up, but she was wearing a stud below her lower lip. How many middle-aged women do you see doing that?" Sakura answered Naruto.
Itachi, Kisame and Deidara, who had been half ignoring the conversation suddenly became very alert. Looking at each with knowing glances they left the room.
"What was that about?" Naruto asked.
"Who knows. Maybe one of them had to go to the bathroom." Nami said, shrugging her shoulders.
"Girls do that, not guys." Sasuke said smirking.
"Oh. Sorry. Forgot. So Sakura, want to go to the bathroom with me?" Nami could only keep a straight face for about fifteen seconds before she and Sakura broke out in giggles.
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"Sasuke, why are you in the kitchen? It's not your turn to cook." Naruto perched himself on a stool and watched as his friend poured ingredients into a bowl attached to a blender.
"Uran wanted some chocolate chip cookies. Now be quiet I'm trying to read the directions. Sasuke checked over the contents of the recipe attempting verify that everything had made its way into the bowl.
"Whipped already, huh?" Naruto laughed.
"Huh?"
"Why didn't you just go to the hotel's gift shop and get her some? They are made here in the restaurant."
"She likes home made cookies." Sasuke stated plainly.
"So she got you to make them." Naruto was starting to have fun.
"So what? I like to cook. I just… I just never get the opportunity." He switched the blender on and flour blew all over the kitchen.
"If you like to cook so much how come you didn't know that you need to put the cover over the bowl before turning the blender on? Also, you need to add the flour a little at a time and start the speed off at two then gradually move it up." Naruto was laughing now.
"How the hell would you know that! Your food tastes like crap!" Sasuke brushed flour off of his face.
"The food I cook for you guys tastes like crap. The stuff I make for Hinata tastes like heaven."
"Oh? And you call me whipped? Listen to yourself!" Sasuke was now correctly blending the ingredients, following Naruto's advice.
"I am whipped. I admit it. I am proud of it. And I am well rewarded for it as well. Hinata is not nearly as shy in the bedroom as she is anywhere else." Naruto winked to his friend.
"Really? Just because you can cook?" Sasuke perked up and looked at his friend.
"Really. Women like it when men help them. They feel they are bonding or something."
"Oh. So… did you take classes? Or did Sakura help you?" Sasuke was envisioning several x-rated situations with his fiancé over his chocolate chip cookies.
"Chouji. When we get back, have him show you a few things. All you need to do is learn to cook a few dishes very well and Uran will be worshipping at your feet. In the meantime, let me help you get those into the oven. You need to use a cookie sheet for cookies, not a roasting pan." Naruto stood up and started digging through the drawers.
Meanwhile, while their heads were turned a disembodied arm appeared and swiped a finger through the dough. Three times. And each time it came out clean.
Without turning around Naruto chastised his dead sensei, "You need a body to lick the bowl pervy-sage."
"I knew that." Jiraiya materialized onto the same stool Naruto had been sitting on a few minutes ago. "By the way, Sasuke, there's a great cooking scene in book 2, chapter 5." He gave the flour covered young man a big smile and a thumbs-up.
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"Pop!" A sharp sound was heard and a two foot tall blue and white slug materialized in the living room. In a polite, feminine voice the slug turned to face Kakashi and spoke apologetically, "I am sorry to interrupt your evening but I have important information from Mistress Tsunade."
Kakashi smiled, "Go ahead, what is going on?"
"It seems the smaller villages are no longer accepting missions outside of their borders. Also, any requirement for a ninja must be handled by that countries ninja village and not externally. On the other hand, if the client has a requirement for a ninja that would leave the country it must be handled by one of the big five countries. It has increased the number of missions for both small and large countries, and profits are going back up." The slug's soft voice was very calming.
"Thank-you for the information. Was there anything else?" Kakashi responded with equal politeness.
"Mistress wants to know when she will be a grandma because she went to a baby shower the other day for one of the nurses and really liked all the cute baby clothes."
Standing up, Sakura balled her fists and yelled, "WHAT!"
Kakashi swallowed once then lifted up his arm to scratch the back of his neck in embarrassment. "It'll be a while, we're not even married yet."
The slug dropped her head and looked at the floor, somehow managing to look dejected. "And she was so looking forward to it. I guess I had better be heading back now." Another pop was heard and the slug disappeared.
"Naruto!" Sakura said sternly. "It looks like you will be Hokage sooner than you thought! When I get back I'm pounding that woman into the ground!"
Naruto laughed nervously. "But… but she was just… a baby Sakura or Kakashi would be cute, don't you think?"
"Especially if it's a baby Kakashi with spikey pink hair or a baby Sakura with silver hair and one eye." As usual, Sai thought he was helping. Luckily, though, Sakura's anger disappeared quickly.
"I guess that's just her way of giving us her blessings, Kakashi. Besides, when we call her to babysit our six kids we'll have plenty of ways to get back at her." Sakura grinned evilly.
"Six?" Kakashi said with a worried voice.
"Yes. Six. Six children." An evil laugh came from Sakura's contorted face. "Then she'll think twice about embarrassing me again."
"Okay – but you realize that in order to get those six children you have to be pregnant six times. And six time nine months is fifty-four months of child carrying." Kakashi was beginning to think twice about having one kid.
"Yes!" Sakura said triumphantly, however her face quickly fell into an expression of worry. "What? Fifty-four months? That's… four and a half years."
"It's what?" Nami said, concerned. "That's a long time."
"Too bad, you already said you want seven or eight kids, can't back down now." Itachi teased.
Uran looked worried. "Sasuke?"
"I have no intention of letting Itachi outdo me." Sasuke said seriously.
"Is that a challenge, little brother?" Itachi gave his brother a big smile.
"And I won't let either of you outdo me! Hinata will have twelve children!" Naruto stood up, making his declaration to the world.
"Ha! Uran is having thirteen!" Sasuke declared just as loud.
"That's an unlucky number, Sasuke!" Uran yelled.
"Then fourteen!" Sasuke yelled back.
"Fine! But don't you dare go back on your word!" Uran yelled back, then smiled.
"I won't! I will rebuild my clan with fourteen chil… umm…what?" Sasuke calmed down. He had started out teasing his brother and somehow Uran and Naruto had drawn him into agreeing to have… how many children? "I umm… I was just kidding, Uran."
Uran put her arms around Sasuke's neck and kissed him. "I wasn't." she said softly.
Sasuke pointed a finger at Sakura, "This was your fault! You'd better get Tsunade to babysit for you because you're going too busy babysitting my fourteen kids to watch them yourself! And I'm throwing in Itachi's eight kids for good measure!"
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After laughing over the future babysitting chores of Tsunade and Sakura, Team 7 got down to discussing the curious situation that the slug summons had disclosed. It seemed to lack any motivation other than a dubious wish for peace. Oddly enough, the three ex-Akatsuki believed that the motivation was anything but dubious.
"What do you know?" Kakashi prodded the three men.
Deidara looked at Itachi and Kisame who in turn were looking at the floor. "We…we think Lady Suzu is actually Konan. The forehead protector symbol for the countries they are buying looks like a rising sun. Akatsuki has been reborn under a new guise. The Daimyou… he must be Pein. Konan was so devoted to him that I can't imagine her falling for someone else."
"So what happened to the real Lady Suzu?" Sakura asked in a small voice.
"Maybe captive, maybe dead." Kisame answered.
Naruto shook his head and sighed. "I thought I had killed him. I… I felt sorry for him in the end. He told me of his wish for peace and I felt sorry for him. If he survived, he must still want it." Everyone was silent for a few minutes.
"Is there any chance Madara is behind the scenes here?" Sasuke asked hesitantly. He distinctly remembered killing the man and hoped to god that he was actually dead. It had taken all he had to defeat him and now that he had gotten his life back together again he didn't want to tear it all down again by hunting that man.
"No." Itachi spoke quietly. "Madara's methods are much more violent. This time everything is being done non-violently. Also, Pein resurrected us. He always used to lecture us on supporting our comrades when one of us died and the others made rude remarks about them. He was a strong man, but he felt sorrow over the passing of his subordinates. I believe Pein and Konan may truly be trying to make their dream of peace come true this time."
"Via porn?" Sakura asked.
"I didn't say they were sane." Itachi answered dryly.
The elevator doors opened and Kabuto entered the apartment with his arms around the two giggling shrine maidens. "Come on girls. That ghost won't exorcise itself! My room is rife with supernatural terrors!" His voice was full of amusement now instead of fear.
"Anything you say Kabuto sweetie." One of the girls said.
"I brought some massage oil." The other girl said.
"Kabuto!" Kisame called to him. "Aren't those girls Shinto shrine maidens? Doesn't that mean 'hands-off'?"
"Nah." One of the girls answered. "We just pretended to be shrine maidens so we could make some money. Come on Kabuto, let's go to your room." The three of them walked down the hall.
"I guess that means he's not afraid of Jiraiya anymore." Kisame shook his head and looked at the floor.
"That's sweet Kisame, you were defending their honor!" Sakura beamed at the blue shark man with mock respect.
Kisame blushed slightly. "I was just asking a question, don't read too much into it."
"Hey! Anyone got any paper and a pencil? There's some good research possibilities going on it Kabuto's room right now and I don't want to miss anything!" Jiraiya's ghost materialized in front of the TV.
"Better than book 3, chapter 10?" Kakashi asked curiously.
"Better than book 6, chapter 11?" Deidara arched his eyebrows.
"Better than the TV show we've been trying to watch for the last half hour!" Sakura yelled, throwing a pillow through the ghost. "You're a ghost! How were you planning on holding the paper! And why are you still hanging around?"
"Ah! Well, you see… there was a little teeny problem with a bathhouse and this guy was a little upset I was researching his girlfriend and let's just say the afterlife is not someplace you want to be right now. But as soon as things quiet down up there I'll go back. Don't worry!" As usual, Jiraiya showed no shame and was completely cheerful.
Naruto shook his head. "You never change, do you. Come on. You dictate and I'll write."
"Naruto!" Sakura gasped. "You are not going to spy on someone having sex!"
"I am. It's Kabuto, Sakura. Kabuto. Aren't you even the least bit interested? He's so…weird. And he's with two hot shrine maidens. Fake shrine maidens. It's like watching a guy at a circus put needles through his cheeks. It's gross but you have to watch."
Sai stood up. "We can use my ink mice jutsu."
"Great! Let's go!" Naruto and Sai wandered down the hall and Jiraiya floated behind them.
Ten months later a new book in the Icha Icha series came out. And new books continued to come out for many years to come. But that's another story…
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Please review!
I'm a bit surprised at how much you guys like Ghost Jiraiya, but he's really fun to write XD Oddly enough, being a ghost seems to suit him for some reason – not in the morbid sense either.