A/N – back on track with this story and now I've decided where I'm taking it too, which always helps! Not gonna say anymore, cos I don't wanna spoiler my own story! Loving the reviews, keep them coming, they definitely spur me on to keep going and write faster
Disclaimer – still not mine!
The following morning they came to an agreement that was brought about, in part, by the fact they'd be shortly sat two desks away from each other inside the precinct and the idea of spending eight hours together in the same room … clothed … seemed implausible.
"How about this?" Liv proposed, rolling the blonde onto her back and planting a deep kiss to that soft, sweet-smelling patch of skin beneath her ear. "We give ourselves a couple of weeks leeway to figure things out?"
Amanda forced back her head to look at her, frowning slightly. "I hope you're not suggesting we keep away from each other during that time?"
"Only at work." Liv explained. "Cragen is keeping me partnered with Amaro and you're staying with Fin, so at work we keep our distance," She paused, dipping her head to nip at the same delicate strip of skin. "What we do outside of work is up to us …"
Rollins grinned. "I like the sound of that."
"But in two weeks …" Liv hated to say it, but it needed to be voiced once and then they could leave it alone. "Well …"
"If we decide we wanna keep doing it then we're gonna have to tell?" Rollins spoke for her.
She rolled her hips suggestively into the naked brunette on top of her and Liv groaned. "Stop it … we're gonna be late …"
Nimble fingers slid lower, cupping the older woman's ass and giving it a light, delicate squeeze before circling her hip and coming around to trace between chestnut curls which were lighter than those on her head.
"Amanda …"
It was a warning, but sounded more like a plea to the blonde as her fingers slipped easily into warm, enticing heat. "Yes Liv?"
"Fuck …" Liv's arms began to ache so she raised herself up to lean against the headboard, straddling the blonde on her knees as Amanda's fingers continued to penetrate her from beneath, achingly slowly. "Please …"
"Please what?"
"Please … fuck me …"
Amanda thrust her fingers harder, feeling the brunette begin to fuck herself against her hand, she used her free arm to grip Olivia's pelvis, preventing her from coming too soon.
"Argh …" Liv's pleas were incessant, her thighs tense in readiness, missing just the right amount of friction.
"Up …" Amanda instructed, her free arm beckoning, directing the brunette further up the bed towards her head.
"Huh … what?"
"Up …" She instructed again, removing her fingers to clarify the seriousness of the command.
Liv looked at her, blinked a few times, then understood she'd be left hanging if she didn't do as she was asked. She shimmied up the bed, placing her knees either side of Rollins head as she allowed the blonde to direct her over her face. Her embarrassment soon replaced by the spine-tingling sensation of Amanda's tongue instantly filling her, probing deep into wet, wanting flesh.
"Oh fuck … God … please …"
Her begging flowed freely, conscious of time – Amanda knew enough to not drag it out, but part of her couldn't resist just a few minutes of bliss as Olivia bobbed up and down above her, riding her tongue. She brought her arm around, slid her palm flat down the brunette's tensed abdomen and began rubbing her clit slightly with her thumb. Olivia's body bucked and crashed forwards and Amanda continued to rub with gentle force as Liv's orgasm broke and sweet juices ran into her eager mouth.
"Oh my god …" Liv turned over and flopped beside her on the bed, panting erratically. "What did we … what were we … huh?"
Amanda turned on her side and looked at her, giggling softly. "You okay there?"
"Huh? … yeah …" Olivia's face broke into the widest smile. "I'm better than okay …" She assured, kissing the blonde's face free of the remnants of her own orgasm.
"We should shower …" Rollins suggested, letting her hands roam freely across Olivia's glistening skin. "I know we said we were going to keep our distance at work but if we both show up smelling of sex and each other it might be a bit of a giveaway …?"
"I don't know …" Olivia teased. "For detectives, they're not that smart!"
The plan to avoid each other during the working day was going relatively well until the third day of Amanda's return to work, when a rather gruesome case involving a young ADA working on Alex's staff landed on their desks. The woman appeared to have been singled out for a case that was currently going through Appeals – involving a notorious Brooklyn drug gang, and her murder had definitely had vengeful sexual undertones. Olivia tried convincing herself that Alex, herself, was not in any danger, but Fin saw right through the look in her eyes when they finally made the connection.
"Alex will be fine Liv." He stated, seeing the tension in her body, the way she intermittently flexed and clenched her fists into balls against the open palm of her other hand.
"I know …" She shot him a look, knowing that he was just trying to show her the same level of understanding that Elliot would've, had he still been there.
The truth was that none of them knew what it was like to watch the ADA bleed out like that onto the sidewalk, thinking she was dead – then learning that she wasn't, only to have her snatched away from them regardless. The only saving grace to Fin's imminent demise at the hands of a ferocious Olivia was the sound of heels clicking down the coridoor as Alex Cabot arrived and promptly dragged Olivia into Cragen's office with her for almost forty minutes.
When they both reappeared, anyone with half a brain could see that the blonde attorney had been crying, her eyes were dry but carried a puffy remnant of salt-water tears. Their parting touch was fleeting, as Alex moved to step away she let her fingers linger against the sleeve of the brunette's cardigan, sharing a look that only they would understand.
Amanda felt a wave of jealousy wash over her from deep within the pit of her stomach, instantly regretting their prior decision to keep their relationship out of the workplace. If she'd never agreed to it then she could in good conscience go ahead and do what she was about to do anyway.
"Liv?"
Rollins request startled her, and she turned, studying the green-eyed monster stood before her.
"Can I see you for a moment?"
Olivia seemed dazed, still emotionally overwrought at listening to her old-time-friend and once-upon-a time-lover, crying at the notion that her life would never truly feel safe. She felt like a failure for not being able to protect Alex, both then – and now. Hell, she felt like a failure for not being able to protect everyone.
She followed the blonde blindly into a vacant interview room, perching upon the desk in the centre as Amanda hastily closed the shutters and ensured the intercom was most definitely off.
Somewhat foolishly, Olivia believed that the younger detective was there to console her.
"What the hell was that?" Amanda's tone was accusatory, irrational, and laced with more than a tinge of bitterness. She stood in front of the brunette, waiting with hands on hips.
"What was what?" Olivia asked, truly baffled.
"You and Cabot?" Amanda shot back, her anger spurring her on where in the absence of it she would have been able to see that Olivia's eyes were brimming with unshed tears.
"What about me and Cabot?" Liv frowned, looking perplexed, the only thing she could make out for certain was that this blonde was pissed at her, and the blonde she'd been speaking to just moments before was scared.
Over the course of the next ten seconds, Amanda seemed to allow time for her brain to catch up with her heart, the unfortunate collision of which ensured that she now registered the look of bewilderment and hurt on the older detectives face. Understanding immediately that she'd been the one to put it there.
"Liv …"
Softer this time, like an admission of guilt, mixed with apology and laced with regret. She felt awful for jumping to conclusions like that, for assuming the worst when Olivia never gave her any reason to doubt her feelings for her. Hating that the enemy of self-doubt had crept his way back in so easily, ruining yet another good thing she had going in her life, Amanda quickly turned on her heel and left. Pausing only to grab her jacket from the coat rack by the door as she took off without so much as a word.
Fin glanced across at Amaro, his head bent studiously into a stack of DD5's, the man was smart, like he, the man knew when to keep his nose out. "They must think we're really fucking stupid …" He muttered under his breath.
Amanda stayed gone for the rest of the day. When Cragen returned at the end of the afternoon from a meeting at 1PP, Olivia covered for her saying that she'd had a headache and so they'd sent her home. She knew from the busy expressions on her male colleague's faces that neither one of them would rat her out.
A couple of hours later, she and Nick were the only two left, finishing up paperwork and trudging through page after page of calls made to, and from, the district attorney's office. Trying to piece together some connection between the drug gang and their victim. At around 7pm, Amaro decided to call it a night, suggesting to Olivia that she should too.
The brunette glanced at her phone, not a word from Amanda, not a single response to any one of the eight texts she'd sent during the afternoon. She felt infuriated, and annoyed and in the back of her mind she knew that she was also growing concerned.
"I'm worried about her Nick …" She said softly, not bothering to explain since she already knew that he would understand what she was telling him.
He was putting on his coat and scarf over by the door. "She'll be fine," He reassured. "She probably just went to blow off some steam …"
"That's exactly what I'm worried about." Liv pointed out rather sadly.
"In that case you should call Fin." Nick suggested. "He usually knows where to find her."
Now don't y'all go hating on me …