30- August-1998

Hermione's slowly opened her eyes. She was lying in Ron's arms in his bedroom at the Burrow; finding it hard to be away from him now.

She wanted to scream and yell at him for lying to her; to throw those wrappers in his face and watch him squirm as he tried to defend himself and his action, but all she could do was cry. When Ron found her on the floor sobbing her heart out, she couldn't breath let alone yell. He picked her up, tucked her in to his bed and he rubbed her back trying to calm her. She couldn't remember at what point she stopped crying or even falling asleep. What Hermione Granger did remember though, was waking up in the early hours of the morning to find Ron asleep on the couch - not with her- again.

As the sun rose that day so did Hermione's anxiety. What would the day have in store for her? Another death of a loved one? A death eater attack? Now with the stress of having to plan the funeral and burying her parents finished, would Ron finally decide it was time to stop acting as if he wanted to continue their relationship. Would he end it? What would she do if he did? One thing she was certain of was that, if- when-he ended it, she wouldn't be able to continue living at the Burrow. It wasn't a question of would she be welcomed to stay when she became the ex-girlfriend; she knew she would always be welcomed in his home. She just wouldn't be able to handle the daily reminder of her failed relationship with the boy she chose over her parents. If she had known Ron would change his mind about her, she would have left to Australia. She wouldn't have Ron, but her parents would help her get through the heartbreak. Four months ago she would have counted on Harry to help her through it, not now, Harry was so wrapped up in his relationship with Ginny that she wasn't even sure she could count on him to be there when she needed him. Sure, he had been more supportive than Ron, but barely, and it was only after Ginny insisting she needed him. She had no one left.

Where would she go? This thought had caused panic. She was homeless; she had money and could afford to get her own flat, but she would be living along with death eaters still at large. The ones who killed her parents; what if they came after her? Her house was supposed to be protected and they sill got in. Hogwarts was supposed to be the safest and they got in. They always get in. It seemed her parents were right after all, the Muggle world was the safest place to be.

It was that thought which pushed Hermione to get dress and make her way to Hogwarts. After everything she'd been through, all the death she'd seen, the Wizarding world no longer held the wonder it once did; and now, without Ron or Harry there was nothing left for her.

When she told her intentions to leave the Wizarding world to McGonagall, her favorite professor tried to convince her to stay but Hermione's mind was set. She wanted out of the world that took her parents and her childhood from her; out of the world that made her a soldier at the ripe old age of twelve, the world that had shown her more death than an eighteen year old should see. Out of the world that had nearly killed her countless times.

And now here she was, lying in Ron's arms hours before she was set to leave. He hadn't ended it, but he was rubbish at ending relationships. A part of Hermione knew she should have done it before now, but when she came back and saw him… He may not love her but she still loved him with; with every beat of her heart. She couldn't bare anymore tension now that she knew their hours were numbered. She didn't want to spend anymore of them fighting or being awkward. She just wanted her last days with Ron to be something good she could remember.

So she never told him she wasn't coming back, any of them, just going away for a little while to clear her mind. This way, there wouldn't have to be a hard break up, just a parting of ways. Clean breaks are easier to heal.

But they still hurt, she thought as she took in his sleeping form and suddenly sleeping in his arms wasn't enough for their last hours together.

"Ron," she whispered against his lips. He stirred but didn't wake. "Ron."

"Hmmm? What time is it?"

"Early. Come watch the sunrise with me."

He opened his eyes and looked at her. Hermione could tell that he was struggling with a decision, stay in his nice warm bed or get up at what he would consider an ungodly hour.

"Please," she practically begged.

He smiled then, sighed deeply and looked at the clock on his bedside table.

"The sun won't be up for another two hours."

"I know," she said biting her lip.

He gave her a small kiss on the lips. "You're lucky I love you." Those words almost broke her but she kept everything at bay. She would not allow herself to ruin their last morning together. They dressed, grabbed a few blankets and made their way to the yard.

"Should we go by the orchard?" he asked.

"I think we would get a better view from our spot..."

He held out his and Hermione grabbed it.

"Ready?"

She nodded, then Hermione felt the familiar suffocation of Apparition. They landed on a cliff of one of the mountains that over looked the Burrow. She could just make it out through the darkness of the early summer morning. Over their seven years of friendship she and Ron had spent a great deal of time on this cliff. The first time they came was the summer before their fourth year. She had needed a quiet place to read and Ron needed to get away from his brother's relentless teasing over his "Girlfriend." It slowly became their sanctuary from the madness of the Burrow, then a place where they could be "alone" together with out any fear of interruptions. It was the place they shared their second kiss, the place where they made love for the first time, and it would be the place they would make their last, happy, memory together. In eight short hours this would all be over, she would leave.

Hermione marveled at how poetic the decision to watch the sunrise truly was as she gazed up into the heavens. The moon brought light to the darkness of night, and as comforting as that light could be, the moon would need to fade into the background to allow what was needed. A new day; a new start.

"Come sit."

Her eyes left the sky and met Ron's. He was sitting on one of the blankets they had brought, with his hand out to her. She took and knelt in front of him, she was determined to memorize his eyes fully. You could see straight into Ron's soul through his eyes. 'We can't be together in this lifetime, but in the next and I'll find him through his eyes,' she told herself.

She placed her hands on either side of his face and kissed him deeply. It was their first significant kiss since her parents were taken from her. For the first time in the past week and a half the world didn't seem so cold.

Her hands ran down the sides of his face, then down his chest until it reach the edge of his shirt and pulled it up and over his head before removing her own shirt and bra. When their lips met again it was filled with longing, need and passion. Hermione didn't know how she would be able to give this up.

Ron placed his hand on the back of her head and gently guided her down onto her back and trailed kisses along her jaw, down her neck and to her breasts, nipping and suckling, marking her as his. Hermione moaned as Ron worshiped her body with his teeth, tongue and lips, but it wasn't enough. She entwined her fingers in his fiery locks and pushed him lower still. He chuckled at her impatience but obeyed, slowly sliding down her body, dipping his tongue into her navel causing her to shiver.

Slowly he reached the edge of her jeans and got to his knees, running his hands up her naked torso, gently squeezing her breasts and fanning his thumbs over her hard nipples before running them back down to undo the button and pull down her zipper. He removed her shoes and pulled off her jeans and knickers with practiced ease. He placed an open mouth kissed on her ankle, slid his tongue down her calf, kissed the back of her knee and finally , mercifully settled between her thighs.

Hermione lost herself in lust and in every ounce of grief, anxiety and sadness left her as Ron ran his tongue up her slit and settling on her bundle of nerves. Her grip on his hair grew tighter, and her hips ground against his face.. She needed this, she needed him.

"Ron." She moaned. "Oh god."

He pushed a finger inside her and a new wave of pleasure washed over her. He added another finger into the mix and Hermione nearly came. She murmured words of encouragement, urging him on until it became almost too much to bear.

"In," was all she needed to say. Ron stopped his ministrations and got to his knees again they both fumbled with his belt buckle and trousers. Ron fell back on his bum and quickly discarded the rest of his clothing and cast a contraception spell. They kissed hungrily and fell back to the ground, Ron snaked a hand between them positioning himself at her entrance. Hermione's head fell in pleasure as he entered her. He was large and thick, stretching her walls to the point where pleasure and pain blurred in to pure ecstasy. Ron was ecstasy, there was no other way to describe him, and he was hers. For the moment he was all hers and she was his. This moment was all that mattered right now.

Ron pulled out then thrust back in, eliciting more gasped filled moans from Hermione and her mind was rendered useless as instinct took over. She wrapped her legs around his waist meeting him thrust for thrust, moan for moan. Ron sat up bringing Hermione to straddle his lap as he pushed up harder into her. The new angle caused her to scream his name making birds in a nearby tree fly into the early morning sky.

"Say it again."

"Ron," she moaned.

"Louder," he demanded with harder thrusts.

"RON! Oh God RON!" She arched her back and he took one out her bouncing breasts in to his mouth sucking greedily. That did it and Hermione gripped Ron's shoulders as an orgasm hit her with such force she collapsed backwards. But Ron would never let her fall, with his hands splayed against her back, he guided her down as he continued to pump in to her. Her walls clenched around him as his thrust became erratic and eventually followed her over the edge emptying him self inside her.

They were blissfully exhausted, as they watched the rays of sun make it's way across the sky. Ron sitting against a large oak tree, arms around her waist keeping Hermione's back pressed comfortably against his chest.

"You know," she said breaking the silence. "This would be a perfect place to build a house."

"It would be a rather small house."

"Not if we got rid of a few trees. It's a lovely view, and we could see the house you grew up in from here."

"The kids would run right off the cliff."

"Not if we put up barriers. They would bounce right back."

Ron laughed and pulled her closer. "Is that what you want? A cottage on this cliff?"

She sighed and nodded, that was a lovely dream.

"Then it's yours," he promised.

Hermione turned her head and looked into his earnest eyes. "You would do that? Build me a house up here?"

"I'd do whatever made you happy."

She looked deep in to his eyes. "I want you to remember this, this morning… and our cottage on the cliff… the kids running off the edge and bouncing back…" she said with a half laugh half sob. "Keep it in your heart always and don't forget it… don't forget me."

"Hermione."

"Promise me, Ron. Promise you won't forget me."

"I promise," He said frightened at her urgency as she gave in to the sadness that had been threatening to over take her. She and Ron were a cruel joke the fates had played. To put these two people who were so opposite, yet a perfect balance, together; to dangle them in front of each other but never giving them an opportunity at happiness. For a long time she had thought that she and Ron were destined for each other, now she knew better. Timing was wrong, something always managed to prevent them; Viktor, Lavender, a war. Just when they had finally reached the beginning, fate stopped them in one of the worst imaginable ways. Maybe it was supposed to happen like this? Maybe they were to have these trials and tribulations, so when, in another life, they were to meet, they could fully appreciate the other.

"How could I forget you?" Ron said pulling her closer still. Hermione savored being in his arm, wondering if there was still hope for them after all. How could she have ever doubted him? It was so clear, sitting in his embrace, that he loved her.

Hermione was going insane. There was no other word for it. A few hours ago she was happily in the arms of the man she loved and whom, she was sure, loved her back. But now, as she sat staring at her half unpacked bags she wasn't so sure any more.

When they had come back to the Burrow Hermione had decided that leaving the Wizarding world was a rash decision; one made while she was in a very emotional state. When she was with Ron she had no doubt about just how strong their love was. But Ron wasn't with her now to distract her from the dark thoughts creeping in. Just like Ron hadn't been there to help her through this entire ordeal. He faked being ill so he wouldn't have to deal with her at her parent's funeral. Sure things had been great this morning, more then great. They were them again. But things had been great before and then Ron decided he didn't want to be around her anymore; avoiding her at all cost. They were fine now, but Ron could change his mind once again.

Then there was the magic factor. There was so much dark magic still in the Wizarding world that, if Hermione was being completely honest with herself, she would have to admit she no longer felt comfortable living in it anymore. Ron would always ease that discomfort, but as the last few weeks showed her, there was no guarantee he would always be there to easy her troubled mind. That terrified her. The thought that Ron would take always the calming ease he gave her. Her future here was uncertain. Her future in the Muggle world was just as uncertain-but there she had the reassurance that she didn't have to look over her shoulder for Death Eaters where ever she went.

Hermione let out a shaky breath and began to re-packed her bag. One morning of making love didn't fix any of their problems. All it managed to do was send her spiraling in to confusion.

"So you are going?"

She looked up at the sound of Ron's voice and found him standing in he door way towel drying his hair.

"Yes, what made you think I wasn't?"

He shrugged, "I don't know, just got a feeling you were re-thinking it."

Hermione narrowed her eyes at him, but like it had been for weeks, the heaviness in her heart was too much that it didn't allow her the strength to try and figure out his comment or how he knew she was having second thoughts about leaving.

She watched as he walked over and opened his sock draw, stare into or along for a moment, then close it again. He then walked to his closet, opened it and then closed it again. Hermione wondered if he was looking for something or just trying to distract himself from the "elephant" in the room. In an hours time a ministry car would be arriving to take her to the airport.

"So... um... where are you going?" Ron finally stopped walking around his room aimlessly and asked.

She was leaving town, alone, and he, Ron Weasley, hadn't cared before now to ask about where his girlfriend- whom he claimed to love -was going to be until an hour before she was set to go. She was an idiot for thinking she might still have a reason for staying.

"Rome," she finally answered after taking a few deep breaths.

"Oh, that's... nice."

Nice? It was nice!? It would have been nice if her parents were still alive to go with her like they had planed. It would have been nice if he offered to go with her when she told him she needed to get away. Nice. It was real nice that he had no idea where she was going until now.

"Do... you... want me to go with you?"

Hermione was floored. "I'm leaving in an hour!"

"So?"

"So? So, there isn't enough time for you to pack!" Hermione bellowed hysterically, scaring her self with the sudden shifts her mood had taken. She went from confused as to what she was going to do, to sad at thinking just how not nice everything was to annoyed at Ron, happy he had finally asked to go with her and now complete enraged.

Was this his grand plan? Wait until the last minute to ask if she wanted him to go with her knowing that there was no way it would be possible. That she would have to say no? Just like she had to tell him to stay home and miss her parent's funeral? Make her look like the bad guy so he could feel a little better when he finally got up the nerve to ditch her?

"No."

"No?"

"No, there isn't time."

If there was a time for a grand gesture, this was it. She needed Ron to fight with her, to tell her that it was too bad, he was going with her anyway. That he was sorry for the way he was acting but from this moment on he was going to be by her side. That he would make the time. Say they could take a port key to Rome, apparate to the airport. Or even question her about leaving. To ask her to stay.

He had lied and broken so many promises as of late that she doubted his sincerity. It was so easy that morning. He loved her, she was sure of it. But now, now she found herself desperate for that clarity she found sitting in Ron's arms on the cliff. Desperate to believe their love making meant more than just good bye. It felt like more at the time but standing in front of him, searching his eyes, his face, his soul, she couldn't feel it. She wasn't quite sure what "it" was but something was missing, something she needed like air. Something only Ron could give her. Love? Security? Ease from all her pain? A promise of tomorrow? A real promise. Like the ones he used to make. One she knew he would keep this time.

Certainty. She risked her relationship with her parents for an unknown future with Ron, she wasn't going to risk anymore. She had lost too much to gamble with her happiness, her sanity, or what was left of it. If she was going to come back, if she was going to stay in a world full of darkness and evil she want to make sure he would never leave her drowning and gasping for air, like he had been, again. She needed him. All of him, with out question.

"Are you sure?" Ron asked.

He shouldn't have to ask, he should know. Of curse she would want him with her. Hadn't she told him the night before her parent's funeral that she needed him? That she needed them to be them again? Hadn't she showed him this morning? Why was he questioning her? Why couldn't he just love her like he used to; take care of her like he told her father he would...

Hermione's eyes dropped to the floor and she gave him a small nod knowing her voice would betray her. She turned picking up the jumper Mrs. Weasley had made her for Christmas, not sure if she would ever get a chance to give it to her. It was the last thing left to pack. She wasn't sure if she even wanted to take it. It would only serve as a reminder of the family she would never be apart of; of the family she had spent so much time with while neglecting her own.

She decided not to, gently placing it back on the bed and smoothing it out, felling the rough wool for the last time.

Willing her self not to get emotional she zipped her suitcase closed, turning to find herself alone in the room. Ron had taken her other luggage down. He was letting her walk out of his life with out a fight.

Hermione could hear her mother voice in her head, 'You may think Ron's the one now, but in a few years you might find he's not. People change, they grow apart, fall out of love.' It didn't takes years, just their deaths, and it was Ron who had decided she wasn't the one.

The day was a warm and sunny one; the air was full with laughter and splashing. Cheers and jeers from the sky. The Twins and Bill had coaxed Percy in to a game of two aside Quidditch, while Harry and Ginny opted to spend the afternoon in the Pond. Mr. Weasley was hold up in his shed and Mrs. Weasley was doting over her new Granddaughter while Fleur laid out in the sun. The only sign that it wasn't an ordinary day at the Burrow was a young couple sitting quietly on the porch steps staring out in to the distance; a bag and a cat carrying case a their feet.

She could see it; the ministry car in the distance. It's shiny black coat of paint gleaming in the sun light. It's arrival would be the begging of the end. The end of living in constant vigilance. The end of wondering when the next attack would take place. The end of living in fear. Funny, Hermione thought, Harry's victory was what was supposed to end all that, but if she had learned anything these past few days, it was that the war would never end, not really. There were still scours of Death Eaters out and about, people who shared his beliefs. It was inevitable, they would once again rally around one, the next "Dark Lord." If it happened in her life time she wanted to be as far away from it as she could.

Out of the corner of her eye she glanced to her right at Ron, it wasn't as if she had anything tying her to the Wizarding world anymore. The absence of Harry at her left just further proved this point. She had helped him win; she was leaving and Harry was off in the pond with Ginny, not caring that this was going to be the last time he saw her.

Granted she didn't have the heart to tell them she wasn't coming back. Not even Ron.

She knew Ron cared for her- there are some things you can't do with out deeply caring for someone, fighting a war was one of them- but he wasn't in love with her. How do you tell someone who does care, that you're walking out of their life because they didn't care enough; because they didn't love you in the way you wanted them to?

It was easier to pretend. It was easier to go on acting in love than facing the truth, only Ron was acting and she was still in love. Still the charade was easier. There would be no need for a break up, he wouldn't have to watch her heart break and she wouldn't have to watch him hurt over hurting her- A courtesy Ron didn't deserve, but she was willing to give it to him for both their sakes- there would just be understanding in her absence. They would go on; have happy memories untainted. This way their love story wouldn't have a hard end, just fade; like a pleasant dream in the morning light.

As the car pulled in to the Burrow the sound of wheels on gravel seemed to awaken the occupants of the house. Realization of what was about to occur settled. Slowly, the ones in the air descended and the sounds of splashing stopped.

Three large men emerged from the car, the driver and two Aurors. She didn't move as they approached, the only movement made was Ron taking her hand. His touch seemed to calm her; calmer than she thought she would be; should be. Her heart on the verge of breaking but not quite there yet. Vaguely she wondered if I was even possible, it had been broken over and over in the past few weeks that, perhaps, there was nothing left to break.

She watched in a daze as her bags were put in to the boot of the car. Only now was it dawning on her what little she actually had; Clothes mostly, and a photo album. She wasn't sure how her old family photo album ended up in the Burrow, but truth be told she honestly didn't care. She was just glad she still had something other than clothes she could call her own. Not only had the death eaters killed her parents, but destroyed the belongings she had in her room. Her old room, in her old house that now had a white sign on the neat lawn with big red letters that read 'For Sale'. They really had taken everything.

There was really nothing left but to say good bye. She stood and Ron stood with her, their hands never breaking apart, she approached the group slowly assembling on the lawn. Mrs. Weasley was the first to hug her, asking if she was sure she wanted to go alone. What would happen if she said no? What good would it do? The cars were all ready here. Why was everyone asking this question so late?

The twins and Percy gave her a quick hug and offered her a good bye before they were back in the air. It seemed such a small goodbye, but then they didn't know it was really goodbye.

Bill's hug was tighter, longer. He of all the Weasleys had helped her he most, she would be forever grateful to him. Fleur she had been so wrong about her. Her beauty was in her grace, her fierceness, in the way she loved. Never caring if she made a spectacle of herself in openly loving Bill. Hermione hugged Fleur tight, remembering all she did for her at Shell Cottage; remembering how she fought the final battle pregnant beside her family. A Weasley.

Hermione eyes then wandered down to the baby girl in Fleur's arms. Angelic with her blue eyes and silvery blond hair. There was a brief moment, an infinitesimal space of time where Hermione feared for the Child. She had no idea of the world she had been born in. That while it was better then it had been a few months ago, the magical world was still, very much, a dangerous place to live. They hadn't eradicated the bigotry that stared the war yes, but there would always be a Voldemort looming on the horizon. There would always be casualties left in their wake. If Hermione was being completely honest with her self she would say she was glad to be leaving the thing that killed her parents behind, magic.

Hermione reached out and took the baby in her arm like she had done many times before. "Goodbye, Vicky."

"Tori," Ron said with a roll of his eyes causing Harry to laugh.

"You're the only one who call her that, mate."

"Yeah, well it's right better then Vicky."

"What's wrong with Vicky?" Bill asked, never understanding why Ron refused to call her by the name everyone else did.

"Makes me think of Krum." From behind her Ron wrapped a passive arm around her waist, reaching around with the other to tickle the baby still in Hermione's arms. Hermione savored this last bit of affection, leaning back into him and rested her head on Ron's chest.

There was a flash and they all turned to see Mr. Weasley smiling behind his new camera.

"Do you ever put that thing down, Arthur?" Molly asked him exasperated.

"Not while my granddaughter's here."

Hermione turned around, holding out Victoire for Ron to hold. He never did. He played with her sure, but Ron never held her for more then a few seconds.

"I don't do babies."

"You're not going to break her, honestly!"

"She doesn't like me."

"You just hold her wrong."

"I don't like her."

Bill was quick to slap his brother upside the head. "That's my daughter you're talking about; and your niece!"

"She's part Veela," Ron said trying not to look at Fleur, "they make my head go fuzzy, I don't like it."

"No, they don't." Hermione rolled her eyes and tried handing the baby to Ron again.

"I'm telling you she doesn't like me." True enough, the moment the baby was in Ron's arm she started to wail.

"She doesn't like you because she can sense your dislike of her," Ginny said from what seemed like her permanent spot at Harry's side. Bill snored as he retrieved his daughter from Ron. Ginny wasn't too fond of her niece either. It was a running joke in the Weasley house that Ginny hardly held Vicky because she was jealous that she was no longer the only girl.

"It's going to be great isn't it?" Ginny said,, "All of us in the same year." Ginny gave her a hug before pulling back quickly. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing. It's just- nothing."

Harry was next. When he wrapped his arms around her Hermione could barely hold in her tears. They had been through so much together. He had showed her what true bravery looked like. Showed her loyalty and friendship; even thought it had faded since the war she would always be grateful to him for it.

"Take care of yourself, Harry," she said pulling away and straightening his glasses. "Don't go getting yourself in to trouble."

"Me? I live a low key type of life. You know that." She let out a small laugh then pulled him in to another hug. "I mean it."

Harry hug tightened a bit before he said "Ginny'll keep me in line."

"Sure will," Ginny said replacing Hermione in Harry's arm when she released him.

"We have to be going Miss Granger."

Hermione gave the driver a stiff nod, taking one last look at the ensembles crowed, a family. It made her feel so alone, orphaned.

"Miss Granger."

Ron slipped his hand in to hers, and together they walked to the boundary of the wards where the cars waited on the other side.

"I could go with you to the airport," Ron said opening her door.

"No," she said shaking her head, unable to look at him.

"I-um-." He gave a small laugh. "It feels like I'm never going to see you again."

"Don't say that," she said letting out the sob that had been threatening to escape since she had said goodbye to Harry. She hated hearing the truth on his lips.

"I didn't mean it was," he said hurriedly, "it just feels like that."

When Hermione sobbed harder he took her in his arm holding her tighter then he ever had. "I'm sorry. I'm rubbish at this kind of thing- I never know what to say."

"Just tell me you'll miss me and say good bye," she whispered.

He pulled back and rested his for head on hers, taking both her hands and resting them on his chest. "I'm going to miss you."

"Not as much as I'm going to miss you."

He smiled then, the most heartbreaking lovely smile, then kissed her tenderly.

"We really go have to go Miss Granger."

They broke apart and Hermione had a strong desire to hit the Auror that interrupted them. Did he not understand that was their last kiss? Not knowing what else to say or do she entered the car and allowed Ron to shut the door.

"I'm sorry," Ron said leaning down to look through the window and Hermione could see tears brimming in his eyes... "I'm sorry I couldn't- I'm so sorry."

The charade had broken. Ron was no longer playing the part of a boy in love and was now apologizing for being a boy who wasn't."

"It's OK," she lied.

"You don't understand-"

"I don't have to. It's fine."

The driver revved the car signaling them to wrap it up. Ron gave him a murderous look.

"I have to go."

"We'll talk when you get back."

She leaned up and gave Ron a had kiss on the lips. "I love you, remember that."

"Watch your feet, Mr. Weasley."

Ron stood, took a step back, a moment later the car began to drive, taking her away from everyone she loved and everything she hated.

A/N:

And so concludes the first installment of the three part Home Again series.

Next up: Home Again.

Five years ago Hermione Granger left the Wizarding world. When circumstances bring her back, Hermione must now atone for her actions agents the boy she could never stop loving. But some things are unforgivable.