As always, I would like to say all of the characters are from the world of Tamora Pierce. I just tweak them a little. In this chapter, however, a bit of the tweaking is inspired by some of the themes in the Discworld novels.
It had taken, or so it seemed to Kel, an agonisingly long time for Evin to collect the horses and ponies, to prepare herself and Klair, and to set off towards Corus. Through her brief clean up, a pause to stuff some bread and dried meat in her mouth, a clap on the shoulder for Wolset, a handshake for Evin, a hug for Neal, all she could hear was the harsh breathing of the still unconscious Dom. It was all Kel could do to keep to her tasks, for the desperate noise seemed to jar against her nerves and bones; all she wanted to do was drop to his side and hold him, but her head keep her steady, she knew going to fetch help was the most useful thing she could do. It was harder to convince her heart of that, though.
Kel and Klair had been riding for an hour or so, and it was the coldest time of the night, that hour when midnight has past but dawn is still almost too far away to be believed. The moon and the stars cast an ethereal, silvery light that barely lit their way. The two woman had been riding in silence except for necessary instructions, exchanged in quiet, dull voices. They were exhausted and heart sore, the two of them, all alone in the deep forest in the dead of the night.
"Lady Knight?"
"Yes, Klair?"
"We'll skirt this hollow, keep to the high ground, and then we should have a good vantage point, over there." She indicated.
Kel nodded, once. "Lead on." Peachblossom trudged behind Klair's pony, who was still briskly jogging along, despite the days of heavy riding and this extended night. Klair herself was nearly motionless, her lower body moving easily with her mount's pace, only her eyes busy, taking in the surroundings. Kel half wondered if she was enjoying this. But isn't it just the same as asking me if I enjoy battle, fighting? she mused to herself, as she ducked under a low pine branch. What matters most to each of us? Duty? Friends? Love? At the moment my duty to a comrade and my love are following the same path, so it's easy. What if they led in different directions?
"Klair?" Kel called softly.
Klair pulled up her pony and swivelled in the saddle to look up at Kel. Her pony took a neat side step to avoid a nip from Peachblossom, who snorted quietly at such frustrations. Klair raised her eyebrows questioningly and looked Kel in the eye.
"What did happen between you and Dom?"
Klair's eyebrows rose a little higher, and she pursed her lips. She frowned, looked away, then sighed and looked back.
"You really want to know?"
"I wouldn't ask if I didn't."
"In this place, at this time? As he lies dying?"
"He won't die. And tell me as we ride, we won't lose time, if that's what you're worried about."
"I'm worried about missing things if I can't concentrate fully on the job on hand." She grumbled as she nudged her pony forward, but Kel felt the brittle fight had left her companion, that she would hear the truth now.
"We were lovers - you know that much, I'm sure - and it was good for a time. Very good; the best, in fact." She sighed. "I was promoted, to a special secret scout group, very elite, very prestigious. There was absolutely no question of not going…so I let Dom down. He was always a bit more serious about it all than me, but he took all very badly. So I was the bad one, the heartbreaker. The Ice Queen, the flint hearted bitch who plays fast and loose with other people's feelings; or so I hear; but I am dedicated to my work, and, well, I try to be the best. I believe I am the best."
"Being the best at your job is more important to you than love and friendship?"
"My skill to keep people safe and guided, my responsibility to the duty placed upon me. That's what is important. I can't float off in some fluffy dream of love.." she spat the word, "…and forsake the task entrusted to me. My vocation defines me." She added, more softly.
"To the exclusion of all else?"
"You know how it is. It doesn't matter what sex you are in the military, so long as you act like a man. The Lioness was the first in hundreds of years, she was Gods-touched, and yet even good-as -gold Keladry will have heard the tales that follow her." Klair looked back, eyebrows raised in query. Kel said nothing. "You know. That she was the King's lover, and that's why she's champion. That she dredged her husband from the Corus slums, with witchcraft."
"That's not true." Kel said quietly.
"That's as maybe, but the men say it. It makes them feel better, because otherwise they have to accept a women is their equal on merit alone." Klair's voice was as cold as the night that surrounded them.
"But that's true. That's what I do. I work blessed hard at it, as well."
"Well, I work blessed hard. I work cursed hard, and I am the equal of any man - better than most - yet all they can mind of me are my romances. So I thought, what matter more to me, at this point? And I chose this. Call me bitter, or cruel, or even stupid, but I made my choice. Others did as well. So will you."
"I have managed, so far, to be a Lady Knight, and the men don't say such things about me. At least," Kel paused, "I'm pretty sure they don't."
"But you haven't really been anything else yet. Not a lover, or a mother. Just a knight, so far. You try to be more than that, and still a woman."
"I just try to be me."
Klair pulled up, and looked into the other woman's eyes. "We don't all have that luxury." She sighed, shook her head. "Come on. If we crest that ridge I'll get a good look out, I'll plan the route from there, and the horses can graze a minute."
"Thank you, Klair." Kel said softly.
That's my job." She smiled a twisted little smile.
"You know what I mean."
The two woman rode along, a little less alone in the night.