A/N: WTF! I'm so beyond a coherent thought about that finale! MY LORD! I never imagined those writers could come up with something so illogical. How do those people function in the real world? I'm still not quite able to think about it. That's how they end it? As a fan that has watched every episode since the pilot,...i'm kind of offended and very very confused. ANYWAY...I'll try not to jump around too much here. I hope this chapter will give you some perspective on Dan and what he was going through to do something so unlike him, just the tip of iceberg here. I have received PMs that mention how OOC Dan is and I'd like to just remind you that this is just my fic. I'm not writing from the perspective of the show anymore. (Thank-god) I know he's not the person you would expect from the show but i've adopted these characters and if I make them do something I think i've written enough to justify it. I mean stranger things have happened on the t.v. show right? Bart came back from the dead for crying out loud! DAN IS GG!...Can't Dan develop a habit? hehe. I have been struggling with how I want to continue with this and I know you want more present moments so i'm going to start to build that up. This chapter was already written I just haven't updated in awhile because I have some serious stuff going on and writing is my only escape at the moment. Please ENjOY!
(Good Life)
By:One Republic
From: One Day
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
PRESENT
Patrick called Blair in the morning to ask if she wanted to go to breakfast with him, she declined. Blair already had breakfast plans. When she hung up she went back to meticulously curling her hair and eyelashes before having a difficult time choosing an outfit.
Dan woke up every hour after Blair had left the apartment. He dreamt he missed his alarm and stood her up several times and his paranoia made sure his internal clock worked overtime. Finally when it was seven am he decided to shower, shave and throw on an outfit that made him look like he put in some effort. At eight am he impatiently woke Nicky and told her to get ready because they were meeting someone for breakfast at ten. They arrived early and Nicky was anxious about who would be joining them. Dan found it entertaining to keep the identity of the person a secret.
"Just tell me! I can't wait forever!" she said on the opposite side of the booth.
"Will you just be patient?"
"No," she retorted. "Is it uncle Nate because I don't really care?,"
"No it's not Nate,...oh here she comes now,"
"Good morning," Blair trotted up to the table.
"Mommy?" she looked up at Dan to make sure this is the person they were waiting for.
"We thought we'd have breakfast," Dan slid out of his side of the booth to let Blair in but instead she opted to sit beside Nicky. He actually liked this arrangement better because they were face to face. They found breakfast to be very casual, they talked about Nicky and school, they discussed reviews they read about shows in the paper.
"Grandpa is taking me to see that tonight!" Nicky exclaimed.
"Opening night? That will be nice," Blair smiled warmly.
"I wanted to go but apparently they planned this out awhile back and got tickets without asking me..." Dan eyed Nicky.
"It wasn't like we purposely meant to exclude you!," she promised. "We just didn't think to ask,"
"Yeah well that's fine i'll just sit at home and catch up on all the chick lit research i've put off," Dan groaned knowing the night was going to be dreadful. The server came over to their table and dropped off the bill. Both Dan and Blair grabbed for it.
"I got it," Dan smiled as his finger tips brushed hers. "I told you I was taking her to breakfast I'm not letting you pay for it,"
"Well at least let me pay for myself,"
"Do you think i'm struggling?," he laughed. "No. You are absolutely not paying for yourself," he tugged the paper out of her hand.
When everything was settled and their bellies were full, Blair mentioned she had to run to work that afternoon and take care of some business. She looked a little sad and Dan knew she was still bummed about not getting the position at Vanity Fair.
"We can walk you over," Dan suggested. Nicky agreed.
Blair's phone buzzed in her pocket, she pressed the button to shut it off immediately. Dan couldn't help but notice the screen that popped up. "Was that?..." his eyebrows raised.
"It was nothing,.."
"Blair Waldorf are you still receiving Gossip Girl blasts?" he scoffed with amusement.
"What's gossip girl?" Nicky asked looking up at her parents.
"An anonymous blogger who cyber stalked Manhattan's elite when your mom and I were in high-school. Needless to say we were both victims..."
Nicky laughed at his self-inclusion and Dan side-eyed her. "How come you never tried to find out who it is?"
"We did try,...she's sneaky,"
"Or he," Blair offered. "I for one always had a feeling your dad was Gossip Girl,"
"Meee?" Dan said in a high pitch.
"Well, you were the only one who was close enough to all of us to have the ammo. You also were the only person with enough resentment to release it,"
"Do you know how idiotic that sounds?"
"I'm just sayin'..." she smirked.
"Being 'Gossip Girl' would mean I was a sociopathic stalker,..."
"That's true," Blair thought. "You're a lot of things but I would never call you a sociopathic stalker,"
"Nate's my best-friend. I never liked you but I never hated you or wanted to ruin your life I was dating Ser..." he looked at Nicky and trailed off. "And she was targeted the worst so that would literally make me the creepiest and most unstable person in all of New York. Plus it would mean I ruined my own reputation a few times which would also peg me with a multiple personality disorder,"
"Well if it is you, you've done a great job in making people believe you're sane," she smiled.
"It's a talent of mine,...So anyway,...what are you doing reading GG?"
"I guess I have found the pleasure in the posts now that i'm no longer part of them,"
"Delete it,"
"Dan..."
"Don't propel evil,..delete it,"
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
Flashback
After taking one more sip of his black coffee, he opened his book bag to retrieve his laptop. He stole a glance at the view of children running around the playground, laughing and sometimes screaming in delight. Every now and then a scream was too loud or piercing to be anything remotely close to happiness. His head would snap up from the words he was typing, his train of thought would drop in an instant as he checked to see where the noise came from. He never wrote much at the park, he tried, everyday. He tried but he was too much like a hawk that couldn't keep his eyes off her. When he realized the scream did not come from his daughter he would go back to typing, desperately trying to grasp the words his mind was slowly forgetting. Crying started now, his eyes snapped up yet again, still it wasn't her. Surprised with himself today, he had written a full page, single spaced and it was good- at least he thought so as he read it over for the third time. His eyes glanced up hoping he didn't look away for too long, he didn't hear her coquettish laugh anymore and he consciously felt his heart quicken. "Nicky?" he stood not seeing her. "NIC!" he yelled louder.
"Daddy, I don't want to leave yet. We just got here!" she protested in her small voice as she made herself visible. "Do we have to leave?" bright doe-eyes shining up at him.
"No," he shook his head sitting back down at the picnic table. "We do not have to leave," he shut his laptop and stuffed it back into his bag. For the rest of the time in the park Dan just watched her play with the other kids and was forced to listen to the women gossip at the picnic table behind him. His cell-phone rang and he quickly answered.
"Hey you," he answered cheerfully but it was not returned. Blair inhaled through her nose indicating something was wrong.
"I need you to bring me my look-book and all the notes I have sitting on your desk!"
"Um,...okay, yeah I guess I can bring them to you," he stood up and started collecting his things.
"Dan I just created a disaster!"
XOXOXOXOXOX
A Week Prior
Their home was buzzing with caterers. A true socialite event was about to take place later that night and Blair was surprisingly casual about it. She walked around the apartment with Nicky on her hip and a phone pressed against her ear. "You underestimate me Nina," she laughed into the receiver. "Trust me there was no other option, now get yourself over here and be useful," she crossed through the foyer in her slippery tights and nearly dropped her daughter. "Okay, I have to get off the phone before I drop my most precious cargo. I'll see you in twenty minutes Nina," before Nina could protest, Blair hung up and found herself face to face with caterers.
"Mummy?" Nicky tried to get her mom's attention away from all the people that were causing the apartment to be loud and busy. Blair didn't hear her as she continued to give orders and absentmindedly handed the phone to Nicky.
"My god, you do everything don't you?" Lint walked in to see Blair multitasking.
"A busy life is a full-filled life," she said.
"Mummy?" Nicky tried again in a tiny voice.
"Yes, sweets?," giving her baby undivided attention she titled her head. Blair waited for a question but it never came as Nicky looked at her a smiled the sweetest, softest smile she had ever seen. Without a word, Blair cupped the side of her face and kissed her tenderly. A rush of more people entered through the elevator including Nina who carried three garment bags and lazily opened them and shrugged hoping Blair would just pick one.
"Oh I love that one,"
Everyone's attention turned to the door in the foyer that closed gently. "Is he trying to work though this?" Nina asked. Blair rolled her eyes.
"Fifth novel...," she sighed. "He's nearly finished and you have no idea how happy i'll be when it's done," Blair opened the door of Dan's office gently and peeked in. "I would really appreciate it if you'd put on your suit now."
"I already told you. I'm not coming out. I have to call Doug,"
"I just wish you would put a suit on now because once everyone gets here you'll be trapped,"
"Trapped?" he looked up at her confused as she hiked Nicky up higher on her hip.
"Dan, you're wearing track pants!...and do NOT make a joke about them being Yale track-pants i'm not in the mood,"
Dan shook his head back and fourth once she closed the door.
"You on a mission?" Nina asked watching Blair rush down the hall.
"I'm getting Dan a suit,"
"You're heading in the wrong direction,..."
"No it's in a garment bag hanging in the hall closet," more people entered through the elevator and Nina stopped Blair.
"Just go put on some shoes, and greet your guests. I'll get it,"
Blair put Nicky down and asked if she would help her with a big task. "You want to help me pick out shoes sweets?"
"Yes!"
"Okay, let's go,"
Blair and Nicky entered the pristine bedroom that Dorota probably cleaned from top to bottom a few hours prior. "What do you think? these ones or these ones?" Blair asked her to choose between two pairs. She read enough parenting books to know that children shouldn't be given too many options when it came to choosing things.
"These ones!" Nicky went straight for the pair at the bottom cube of the shoe shelf. Blair's eyes widened knowing those were certainly not the kind of shoes to wear when she had company. They were stripper heels with clear lucite bottoms and everything. They were for fun in the comfort of her own home, for her husband's eyes only.
"No. I don't think these are very,... pretty," Blair tilted her head to the side. "Maybe I have some nicer ones in here,..." Blair walked further into the closet and trailed her finger along the shelves hoping she could find a shiny pair that would appease Nicky's magpie taste. "Baby,..maybe there's a nice pair over here," Blair tried to get her attention. She could hear her crawl up on to the bed and hoped that she didn't make too much of a mess considering she might have to give a few tours of the apartment when all her guests arrived.
"Mommy?"
"Yes?"
"Are you a police?"
"Am I ...?" she turned to find Nicky holding a pair of handcuffs.
"OH!..." she rushed over and closed Dan's nightstand drawer hoping she didn't see anything else.
"Why you gots those?" she looked up innocently.
"...Nicky!" she said loudly in a happy coquettish voice. "Why I don't I just wear these ones!" she distracted Nicky and slipped on the lucite heels before escorting her out of the room and thinking about how they needed locks on their nightstand tables.
XOXOXOX
"Dan?" Nina knocked on the door then opened it carefully. "I brought you a suit,"
"Thanks..." Dan said sarcastically holding on to his cell-phone, about to make a call.
"Well yeah I deserve a thanks," she pull a pack of cigarettes out of the suit's breast pocket. "I just saved your ass,"
Dan closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair.
"You're smoking? you haven't smoked since..."
"I know, I know," he rubbed his eyes in shame.
"You know she's pretty amazing for putting this all together at the last minute,"
"And? it's not like she was required to throw a party to make an announcement,...I think an email would have sufficed,..."
"And the least you could do is put on a suit and join in,"
Five minutes later Blair appeared in the foyer in a sophisticated dress paired with the sluttiest shoes known to man. "What the f...," Nina stopped herself from swearing. "Who do you think you are? Courtney Stoddon?" Blair sighed.
"You modeling yourself after Shauna Sand?..no? Jenna Jaimeson?"
"Nicky picked them," she smiled widely showing her teeth.
"Oh, Blair,...you don't have to listen to her," she laughed.
"I know," she rolled her eyes towards the ceiling. "I just love how she lights up when she helps me,"
"Ready for this?"
"Of course,"
"Hey little thing!" one of the girls from the office entered the living-room and scooped Nicky up. Blair picked up a wine glass and clinked hers with Nina
XOXOXOXOX
Dan held his head up with one hand, the other holding the phone up to his ear.
"Do you understand what I mean?"
"Um,...yeah uh how,..." he scratched his eyebrow. "How is it similar to my last book?"
The story is not different enough to carry on now. It's been three novels, sooner or later you're going to have to come up with something drastically different or face the consequence of getting labelled as the next Nicholas Sparks who sometimes uses gritty crime underscores to hopefully stand apart but Dan,...I have to tell you, they don't stand apart,"
"Well my,...my wife really loved it," he realized how pathetic it sounded once he said it.
"Well, we don't,"
"Touche," Dan knocked his pen on the table.
"We're really sorry but we're not interested," Dan swallowed hard feeling huge rejection for a book he had been writing for over a year. A book he thought was good, just as good as the others that came before it.
"Oh yeah. No. Thanks for calling me back I really appreciate it," he pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes and sunk down his chair until his head was resting on the desk. He had published four books with such a small agency there was never too much to show for it. Daniel Humphrey books were the kind you picked up in the airport. They weren't critically acclaimed, they rarely achieved spots on prestigious lists. They were easy beach reads or the kind you read casually over a vacation. Opening a new document he started typing before he completed a full sentence he heard Blair's laughter and glanced at the suit Nina brought for him.
"Dan!" Sara from the office smiled brightly as he shut the library door behind him. "I haven't seen you in forever. I keep telling Blair we need you to come back but I guess you're actually living the dream right?"
"Uhh,..," he smiled sheepishly thinking about the phone call he just had. "Trying," he nodded.
"Dan this is Ben," the men shook hands. "Dan used to be Blair's primary editor,"
"Oh nice," he nodded. "You don't work at Cosmo anymore?"
"Uh no i'm actually,..."
"Dan's a writer. You know Daniel Humphrey?" she sipped from her wine glass as Ben tried to recall if he had ever heard of him before.
"I'm not sure I,..." Dan could see Ben was uncomfortable.
"It's fine really,...my books aren't,..." he was cut off by Sara.
"You really haven't heard of him? his books have hit the best sellers list like,..."
"Once," Dan smiled sheepishly. "One of them hit the last spot once," he laughed now to break the ice.
"Maybe you should come edit again?" Sara suggested.
"It was nice seeing you Sara, do you know where Blair went?"
"I think she's getting ready to make a speech,..but really we already know why we're here,"
"That obvious huh?" he smiled and made his way through the crowd of people that had filled his home. He shook hands with some of the people he hadn't seen in awhile and was introduced to new people in the office as 'Blair's husband' Nicky was getting much attention as everyone wanted to talk to her or pick her up.
"How old are you?" Lee sipped on her wine and asked a shy Nicky who found herself in a stranger's arms.
"Three,...almost four," she answered shyly. As Dan passed by Nicky grabbed for him and he easily took her from the strange person. Dan kissed her forehead and walked them towards where Blair was clinking her glass and getting everyone's attention.
"Daddy what's she doing?" she asked.
"Watch,"
"Hello everyone," she beamed over the sea of people. "I think most of you have figured out why I asked everyone to be here tonight. Yes it's a party but more importantly,...I just wanted to be the first person to tell you,...," she closed her eyes and smiled widely. "I'm coming back!" there was a burst of conversation now. Some people hooted at her, some people cat called, some clapped. "In two weeks I will regain my position and Nina will go back to her respectful but underling career as a writer," she joked. Nina laughed out loud and made a gesture to show how grateful she was that she no longer had to have the high pressure position. "To the old staff, I hope you're ready to go back to my standards, and to the new staff,...well until then, let's have a good time! Have fun, make yourself at home,"
Blair talked to a few people that approached her as Dan and Nicky made their way through the crowd. Her eyes moved from the guests and settled on her husband. She smirked and looked him up and down. "Nice suit," she bit her lip amused that he actually put it on.
"Nice shoes," he blinked.
"I'll have you know everyone thinks i'm making some kind of statement. it's working," she looked down at them.
"Always worked for me,"
"Easy," she pushed on his chest.
"Seems like everyone wants you back," he smiled.
"Well it'll go smoother once I get there. It's much more organized when i'm in charge," Blair ran her hand over Nicky's hair. "Are you sleepy?" she asked adoringly.
"No," she shook her head making her curls bounce before she laid her head on Dan's shoulder.
"Yes you are," Dan nuzzled her a little and she made a soft irritated groan.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
A week Later
"Oh no what happened?" he asked as he packed up his laptop and tried to gesture for Nicky to come over.
"I screwed up," he could hear her voice shake. "I have to sift through the entire mock up and try and salvage an entire September issue because I skipped ahead to October!"
"How in hell did you manage that?" Dan's jaw dropped. The old Blair would have never let that happen.
"Do you know how many people have said that to me today? I don't need that from my husband!" she yelled. Dan pulled the phone away from his ear as she reamed him out.
"I'll be there with your look-book in twenty minutes okay?"
After Dan had dropped off Blair's look-book he headed home and received another phone-call asking him to walk Winston's because she didn't do it that morning like usual. Dan told her that he already walked him because the dog scratched at the door and woke him up. She sighed in relief and told him she would be extremely late and not to wait up for her because she would be taking a cab home. Sadly this is how the entire week turned out. And on Saturday Blair spent the entire day at the office fixing her own mistake.
"Can you come pick me up now?" Blair asked starring at the clock in her office that read eight o'clock on the dot.
"I thought you were taking a cab home..."
"I felt bad about everyone having to stay late because of me..." she inhaled. "So I bought everyone dinner. I don't have any cash on me,...I don't have any money on me at all actually,"
"That's not like you,..."
"I know I usually have my credit card,"
"No, I mean feeling bad about something enough to buy everyone dinner," he smirked into his phone as he took a seat on the edge of the tub.
"Shut it. Come get me. Today has been the longest Saturday of my life,"
"Uh,..." Dan looked over at Nicky who's hair was standing on end with shampoo. "Bad news. I'm currently unavailable but I happen to know there is a great method of transportation just outside your office and the amazing thing is,...it only costs two dollars and fifty cents!"
"Yeah right. Don't make me laugh,"
"C'mon Blair. I have Nicky in the tub,"
"Dan, I've never taken it by myself..." she said in a small voice-a scared voice. Dan looked over at Nicky who was covered in bubbles.
"Give me a half hour?"
"Half hour? I'm exhausted!"
"Did you not hear what I said? Our daughter is in the tub. We're somewhere between wash, rinse and repeat..."
"CONDITIONER!" Nicky yelled.
"You heard the girl...she's got a whole five minutes of wait time,"
"Dan..."
"Blair, you're the one that always told me if you're not going to wait the five minutes then don't bother,"
When Dan hung up the phone he turned his attention back to Nicky who was focused on washing her Barbie's hair. "Quick cover your eyes," she smacked her little hands over her face and Dan poured water over her head to remove the conditioner.
"Daddy, that's not nearly long enough!," she warned him.
"It'll have to do. We have to rescue mom from work,"
"Rescue her?" her interest was peeked as Dan scooped her up out of the tub and placed her on the fluffy rug so he could wrap her in a towel.
"Wanna go on an adventure?"
"YES!" she said immediately. When she was dressed and her hair was blow dried, Dan bundled her in a peacoat and plopped a beret on her head.
"What took so long?" Blair asked, her arms crossed as Dan and Nicky casually walked into the foyer of the building where Blair was waiting. Nicky lifted her hand straight in the air to show her metro card.
"You didn't," Blair looked mortified as she riffled through her purse looking for hand sanitizer
"Oh c'mon..." Dan threw his head back.
"Come here," Blair bent down and slathered Nicky's hands with strong, alcohol smelling, disinfectant.
"A little dirt didn't hurt anyone," Dan commented.
"A little whooping cough did," she sung as she glared up at him.
"We're not taking the subway home. Please tell me you have your credit card," she rolled her eyes as they exited the office and began walking down the street.
"I don't," he saw Blair's face drop. "Relax, I have some cash on me," he pulled his wallet out and turned to Nicky. "You know how to hail a cab Nic?"
"Like this?" she held her hand up.
"Look at you!, you're an expert," he commented as Blair snatched his wallet out of his hand. "Hey!," he exclaimed.
"You have hundred dollar bills?...since when do you carry around hundred dollar bills? Were you planning on going to a strip club?" she said with distaste as she fingered through his bills, Dan grabbed it back and stuffed it in his back pocket.
"What's a strip club?" Nicky asked still trying to hail a cab.
"Yeah mom what's a strip club?" Dan asked with a smirk. They walked a little further down the street, Nicky with her hand straight in the air, Dan placed his hand on Blair's back, "Strip club." he scoffed with a nuzzle.
"You find us a cab yet sweets?" Blair asked.
"No." she turned to show her huge eyes wide with determination.
"I'll call one," Dan pulled out his phone.
"No," Blair touched his forearm. "Let her do it," she liked watching her take this task so seriously as she walked ahead of them. Cabs continued to drive by and Nicky was getting frustrated.
"Why!," she said in her tiny voice full of concern, "...why do they jussss drive by?" her mannerisms matched Blair's to a tee while she shrugged with irritation and rolled her eyes at the sky. Dan couldn't help but smile at her, she looked so much like her mother.
"They're full baby," Dan told her that it had nothing to do with her cab hailing skills and to keep trying.
"So did you write anything?" Blair asked as they stood at the edge of the curb.
"Yeah a ton...between the two trips to your office to bring you the things you forgot, Nicky's play-date at the park, dropping her off at piano lessons, picking her up, making dinner and giving her a bath,"
"I'm sorry," she frowned.
"It's fine. It was your first week back, I didn't expect to get too much done anyway,"
"First week," Blair scoffed. "It's a Saturday!" she sighed.
"Well someone screwed up," Dan smirked. Blair gave him a death glare.
"I didn't mean that. You just need to find your groove again,"
"What's that man doing?" Nicky pointed at gentleman who was trying to sleep on a park bench," Dan looked over and pressed his lips together. Blair was at a loss for words as she walked closer to her daughter moving her away from the man's direction. "Mummy?" she squeezed Blair's hand.
"Umm,..." she looked to Dan.
"He's sleeping," Dan said simply as they continued to walk along the street.
"Why is he sleeping outside? why doesn't he go home to sleep?" she looked back at him even though Blair was trying to move her along.
"Umm, well that's because he doesn't have a home," Dan answered honestly.
"Why not?" she was very confused.
"Don't know," Blair said softly. This seemed to further her confusion, how was it possible that there were people in the world that didn't have a home?
"Why can't he just buy a house?"
"He doesn't have the money sweetheart,"
"Why not? why can't he just use his card to buy a house?" Nicky asked with her huge doe eyes sparkling up at them. Blair realized Nicky must have seen her swipe her credit card thousands of times.
"because he..he doesn't have job," Dan answered.
"Why?"
"We don't know sweets," Blair smiled at her softly hoping she knew they didn't have all the answers for her.
"He doesn't have enough money to live in a house?" her eyes squinted. They could see she was working really hard to understand how that was possible.
"No,"
"But we do?," she looked up at both her parents, her beret slightly crooked. "...how much money do we have?"
Dan looked to Blair not sure how to answer that, "...Enough," he said softly causing Blair to gulp. Nicky's innocence saw the world in a light that was beautiful and ideal, he couldn't walk away from the man now. Blair wasn't surprised when Dan pulled put his wallet and walked over to the man on the bench. Blair pulled Nicky up into her arms as Dan went over and got the man's attention.
Suddenly Blair didn't seem to have a problem taking the subway, she took comfort in knowing she was very blessed and this little trip was going to be lovely because they were all together. "Excuse me," the man turned to face Dan.
"I want to give you this," he held the hundred dollar bills out to the man, " I'd like to think you use it in the best way possible,"
"Well,...," the man began to smile. "That's very generous of you. Thank you very much,"
"Thank the little girl," Dan gestured. The man waved and Nicky beamed brightly warming Blair's heart and squishing her cheek against hers.
All snuggled up, they cuddled together on the subway car to keep warm. Blair spoke French to Nicky, running her hands through her freshly cleaned hair with affection.
"So now you're not going to talk to me?" he found it somewhat amusing that he didn't understand his wife and daughter. It was like they had a language of their own; a secret club. Blair linked her hand with Dan's. "Je t'adore ma chérie," she leaned in and kissed him. Dan smiled goofily and offered a little of his own french.
"voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?," he shrugged with wide eyes.
"I have a headache," she deadpanned before they both laughed out loud.
"Nicky what did you and daddy do today?" Blair asked.
"We umm,..."
"en français," Blair smiled.
Before they made their way home Nicky had drifted to sleep. Blair's lips rested against her forehead.
"I'm sorry I made you take the subway. I know you had a long day,"
"It's fine," she rested her head on his shoulder. "I screwed up royally this week...," she said as the subway car came to a stop.
"It's going to take a little while to get back into the swing of things," Dan got a good hold on Nicky before standing. "You've been a stay-at-home mom for years. I know you don't like to realize this but ruthless editor Blair isn't going to come back over night. You have to ease into it. It'll come back,"
"I was supposed to take care of everything. You were supposed to spend the week writing and all you did was help me clean up my mess,"
"So?...we're going to have days like that. We're busy people," he reminded her as they walked up the subway steps and found themselves in their upper crust neighborhood.
"Maybe it's too soon for me to,..."
"Don't say that. You can work and I can write,"
"It's just,..." she yawned.
"Just think about how you can sleep in tomorrow,"
"I can't." she smiled. "There's a Humphrey breakfast. I was cordially invited," she smiled.
"Were you?" he laughed. "I think there's a chance it can be turned into a brunch," Dan nodded. The elevator doors opened and Winston jumped down off the couch. Dan let out a laugh, they had never caught him on the furniture before.
"Winston what are you doin' man?" Dan laughed.
"I do not have the energy to explain that the couch is off limits...I think you know that mister," she crouched down and gave him a scratch before kissing his head. "Hi baby," she scratched behind his ears. "How bout you sleep in our bed tonight?"
"No,..no...no," Dan walked past them to put Nicky in her bed. Blair followed behind him and helped with the sheets. He threw some stuff animals to the side and gently placed her on the bed. Blair pulled the covers up and she shifted just slightly as Winston got up on the bed.
"Get down,"
"Dan!" Blair growled in a low voice. "Be nice to our fur baby,"
"Since when has he been allowed to sleep on beds? you're just feeling guilty,"
"So what if i'm feeling guilty? I've been the worst mom to him this week," she pet him and Nicky shifted.
"Dan have I been a bad mother to her this week?" she asked quietly.
"Bad mother?" his eyes squinted. "No. No not at all,"
"Have I been distant?"
"No, you've been fine. You're just busy and she knows that,"
"Our baby is going to be four soon," she frowned a little. "Starting kindergarten in a week. Can you believe it?," her eyes were big and sad.
"Let's have another," Dan smirked.
"Ha..." Blair gave him a little smack on the arm. "The ease with which you say that is alarming,"
"I'm not taking it off the table,"
"Please don't..."
"I was kidding Blair,"
"No you weren't,"
"Of course I was. I would never actually suggest that,"
"I'm going to throw her a party the weekend after her birthday," Blair changed the subject. "Since I am apparently incompetent, will you remember to send Brianna roses? "
"Yeah, I will," he nodded. "A dozen pink right?"
"Yeah and a picture of Nicky in the card," Dan nodded remembering.
"Hey," he placed his hands on her face. "I'm sorry,"
"For what?"
"For this week," he laughed. "It's going to get better. I promise,"
As Blair slipped into bed she noticed Dan was looking contemplative. "Something wrong?" she swung her legs under the covers.
"Umm,..no," he wasn't very convincing.
"Tell me," she laid down facing him.
"uh,..." he pressed his lips together then threw his hands in the air. "They don't want my book," he laughed as he said it.
"Oh Dan,..."
"It's not going to be published,"
"You've been writing it for over a year," she stated.
"I know that," he sighed frustrated. "Time spent on it means nothing. They aren't publishing it,"
"Well maybe if you rework it.." she offered.
"no it's dead. The characters are boring. The premise is cliche. My writing style is redundant and my inspiration is lacking,"
"Don't be so hard on yourself," she shook her head. Dan starred straight at Blair before speaking.
"Thats what Doug told me Blair," his eyes rested on hers. "That's what everyone thought,"
"Well,..." she rested her hand on his face. "Maybe you just need a break,"
"Yeah," he turned away from her.
XOXOXOXOXOX
Dan overheard the congregation of women behind him talking about Nicky. He expected as much, she was new to the playground and all their children seemed to become fast friends with her over the last week. Biting his lip to keep from smiling too wide when he heard them saying sweet things about her.
"What a beautiful child..." one of them said watching her play with the others. "How adorable is she?"
Dan inhaled before turning to them. "Thank you. I wish I could take some credit," he laughed lightly. "any credit at all really. Oddly, she looks like a carbon copy of my wife," he smiled looking past her and seeing Nicky laughing heartily with her new found friends.
"Oh!, she's yours?"
"She is," he nodded proudly.
"I was just admiring her jacket, where can I get one?"
"uhh,...You can't," Dan laughed sheepishly. "...my mother-in-law is a designer. She makes smaller versions of my wife's clothes for her," he laughed. "It's actually silly really,"
"Do you want,..." one of the women offered. "Would you like to come sit with us?"
It didn't take Dan very long to become good friends with these women. He became a celebrity of sorts as he was the only man in the group and thus a novelty. "I'm telling you,...Judy Blum taught me everything I know about women," they all laughed loudly.
XOXOXOXOX
"Do you have anything for me to look over today?" Blair asked with a soft smile. Dan averted eye contact. Pushing his scrambled eggs around his plate he shrugged a little and poked his cheek with his tongue.
"I might have,..." he shook his head and sipped from his coffee mug. "There might be something..." she could tell by his tone he didn't want to talk about it.
"Do you have writer's block?" she asked with concern in her voice.
"Nnnn...n, just..." he mumbled some incoherent words and turned to Nicky. "Food is for eating not building," he commented on her stacked breakfast. "What is that? stone henge?" Nicky laughed heartily.
"Maybe you could try to go to the park today or something?...maybe that would help?"
"I go to the park everyday I don't see the difference," his eyes were still fixed on Nicky's stacked waffle pieces in little piles.
"Well there is, you usually have a four year-old with you,"
"One day isn't going to make a difference Blair," he looked down at his breakfast.
"Well it could be a start. Maybe you could get an outline going?"
"You really want me to write a book don't you?" he looked up at her.
"I only want what you want for yourself Dan," she laid her hand over his. Dan pulled his out from under hers.
"Well right now I want to have breakfast with my family without talking about books so can we please do that?" he looked up at her.
"Of course," she attempted a smile.
"I lub books," Nicky sung.
"and I love that you love books," Dan smiled.
"Daddy wrote me a book!" Nicky announced to Blair.
"He did?" she smiled happily. "When did you write her a book?"
"It's more like a story," he shrugged. "I just kind of,...wrote it while at the park,"
"What's it called?"
"PICKY NICKY!" Nicky answered before Dan could.
"Well that is an excellently accurate title," Blair laughed seeing how particular her daughter was.
"May I be 'scused?" she said politely in her small voice.
"EXcused and yes you may," Nicky hopped off her chair and headed to her room.
"Maybe you should try and get 'Picky Nicky' published," she smiled resting her hand in her palm.
"I don't know. I wrote that just for her," he didn't seem interested in this idea.
"Honey, it's been two months and all you haven't written so much as a paragraph,"
"Honey," Dan scoffed, standing and collecting the plates from the table. Blair took a deep breath and followed him to the sink.
"What?" she threw her hands up in the air. "What's wrong with 'honey'?"
"I'll tell you what's wrong with it. My wife calls me 'Dan'. Sometimes she calls me 'Daniel', sometimes she calls me 'Humphrey'. When she's been drinking she will occasionally call me 'baby' or 'Humps' or even 'sweetie' but she never calls anyone 'Honey' unless she's insulting them,..."
"Dan,..."
"No, it's true don't try and tell me otherwise," he starred at her. "It's patronizing,"
"I just mean, if you're having a hard time writing maybe I could..."
"What? you could leave work? we're not talking about that again,"
"I told them I wasn't ready to come back yet,"
"She's four," Dan said dryly. "She doesn't need her mother to stay at home," he loaded up the dishwasher.
"She doesn't need her father to stay home either Dan,"
"I don't want to keep doing this. I'm so frustrated," he turned on the tap harshly and gently added the champagne flutes to the water. He was still confused at why she decided they needed mimosas this morning, there was nothing to celebrate.
"Doing what?" she gulped hoping he wasn't referring to staying at home with Nicky.
"We can't prioritize one career over another. We have to be equals. Ever since Nicky, one of us has been at home. She's pretty self sufficient if you haven't noticed. We can both work,"
"What are you saying?"
"I want to get back into publishing," Dan had worked in publishing for about a year until he left to deal with some personal matters. The personal matters thing turned out to take longer to iron out than expected and later on he found himself inspired to write again and didn't need the security of a 9 to 5 job.
"Really? you want to do that again?"
"Yeah," he smiled. "I never thought i'd like it but I did...and if i'm suddenly struck by inspiration I can always write. If there's ever a commission I can consider it...," he bit his lip. "I just want to feel like I contribute. The last book I wrote was so long ago..." he sighed.
"It won't be your last," she rested her hand on his shoulder blade and smiled. Dan nodded with a sudden restoration of faith.
"Hey, can you hand me the L'octaine shampoo? It's the only option when washing Riedel," he mocked her. Blair giggled and leaned in for a sweet eskimo kiss.
"For a moment I thought you wanted to try your hand at teaching..." she spoke with distaste while helping him wash the glasses.
"Oh the horror..." Dan scoffed with amusement. "I will teach someday. That's a promise,"
"Never say that again..." she shuddered.
"C'mon!"
"If you want to teach so badly, go teach our child Shakespeare,"
"That's not a bad idea,..."
"I'm just not sure Winston will sit still long enough to,..." Dan swatted her butt with the dishtowel and she giggled.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO XOX
The next Saturday Blair got Nicky ready for play-group.
"Hold on sweetheart,..." Blair struggled to keep up with her daughter. Her heels were getting stuck in the grass. "Oh yes, ok..." she waved her off seeing that she wanted to play with her friends on the jungle gym. Blair sighed loudly, watching her and hoping she didn't pick up any flu causing germs. She approached the bench full of women pondering the last time Nicky had a tetanus shot.
"Hello," Blair held her bag in front of her and greeted the women at the park bench formally as Nicky ran off to play with her friends.
"Hi, can we help you?" one of the women looked up.
"I'm,.." she swallowed looking at their clothing and knowing that despite Dan's swearing that all their kids were going to New York prep come September, they were all dressed like soccer moms. Pretty enough, most wore simple gold earrings and decent double breasted jackets but Blair knew not a single one was designer and Nicky's wardrobe that day probably cost more than anything at the entire picnic bench. "I'm Blair Waldorf," she smiled looking around the faces and trying her best to be polite.
"Blair Waldorf?" the blonde at the table was trying to rack her brain.
"Who?" one of them asked the other.
"OH! right!...Dan said he wasn't joining us this week. are you Nicky's nanny?" the brunette with the bob asked.
"Her what now?" Blair's eyes grew huge, her jaw tightened. "I'm her mother..." her lips formed a hard line.
"...We're so sorry,...you're last name just threw us off. Take a seat," she offered. Blair carefully sat herself on the bench noticing it wasn't that dirty.
"You and Dan are married right?" one of the women asked. Blair's eyes shifted around wondering if these women were living back in time.
"Yes," she answered rather rudely. She lifted her left hand to show them her rings and proceeded to explain that just because she didn't share his name didn't mean she was not married. Also that they lived in a world that was patriarchal enough without her adopting the name of her husband.
"Umm when did you say Dan was coming back?" Gillian tried to asked without being too rude.
"He's not,..." there was a silence over the table now. "He umm,..he went back to work and I'm taking time off until she starts full time school," she nodded. "We're probably going to hire a nanny once she's settled and in a routine," The table fell silent and Blair felt uncomfortable.
"I guess we should have snack time now," one of the mom's got up to break the tension. Blair looked around as all the women pulled snacks out of their bags. Blair didn't have anything, she planned on taking Nicky out for a nice bistro lunch a little later and never thought to bring snacks. "If you didn't bring anything,...Nicky can share goldfish with Lucas," Gillian smiled.
"Does Dan usually brings her snacks?" Blair asked quietly.
"..." Ashley chuckled. "Dan is very prepared," the women laughed as if they were in on some inside joke and Blair smiled sarcastically.
"What does that mean?..." Blair shrugged. "I'm taking her to lunch later so..."
"Well it would be unfair for her to not have a snack while everyone else is so it's fine,..I brought plenty,"
"So how did you and Dan meet?" Julie asked Blair once the kids went back to playing.
"We knew each-other in high-school and we went to the same University,"
"Really? what University?"
"Yale," she said proudly.
"You two went to Yale?"
"But Dan doesn't seem..."
"Smart?" Blair put up her defenses. "I'll have you know my husband is brilliant,"
"No...no..no, I just meant he doesn't seem like someone who went to an Ivy league. I know people that went to Ivy leagues and they are more like,..." she looked at Blair and stopped talking.
"I'm not sure I understand what you're saying,"
"I'm sorry i'm just a little confused about,..."
"About what?" Blair blinked.
"I'm just surprised you two are married. Dan is so...and you're so..." Heather began.
"What is that supposed to mean?," she smiled trying to conceal her anger.
"Heather,...opposites attract," Ashley commented.
"We're not exactly opposites. Dan and I have very similar tastes,"
"I don't think so,..."
"I'm sorry,...I wasn't aware you knew my husband better than I did," Blair smiled sarcastically.
"I didn't mean anything by that. You're just not what I expected,"
"And what pray tell did you expect exactly?"
"Bubbly perhaps? Dan is such a sweet guy I assumed you were alike,...I also assumed you were blonde,"
"Blonde?" Blair rolled her eyes wondering where that came from.
"Oh it was just something we noticed about Nicky,...her hair has some highlight to it,...we just speculated that one of her parents was probably blonde,"
"...it gets like that in the summer," Blair gulped wondering why these women were being so rude to her.
XOXOXOX
"Never go to play-dates Dorota! the women are rude, frumpy and stupid!" she yelled at her maid.
"Miss Blair,..." Dorota groaned. "What you do now?"
"I did nothing! I was perfectly kind and considerate to those witches!"
Dan walked in the door as Blair started giving Dorota the play by play of the afternoon.
"I want your name and I want it now!" Blair rushed up to her husband who was dressed in a casual suit with a messenger bag slung over his shoulder and a coffee in hand.
"Whoa...what's wrong?" Dan sipped from his coffee cup.
"She your problem now," Dorota grabbed her laundry basket and continued down the hall.
"They asked if I was her nanny..." she seethed. Dan covered his mouth so he wouldn't spit coffee everywhere.
"What about my outfit says 'I take care of people's children for a living'?"
"Nothing," he chuckled walking closer.
"Does she not look exactly like me?" he took hold of her hips and pulled her close. "Tell me the truth,...does she look like me? everyone says that but does she really?"
"Yes," Dan nodded.
"Dan they said they were surprised that you were married to someone like me."
"They didn't," his eyes widened.
"Piped right up and asked how on earth did we meet..."
"God, how rude were you?"
"Dan!" she shoved him a little.
"Well you must have done something to deserve such a question,"
"Dan is so...and you're so..., what the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"What did you say?"
"Well I suppose I wasn't particularly nice when they asked if I was her nanny. One had the audacity to ask me when you were coming back..."
"What did you say?"
"I said he's not and they all frowned! what do you do give them oral on the park benches?"
"Blair!" Dan laughed hoping Dorota didn't hear that. "I'm nice,"
"There's gotta be something else,"
"Why because it's hard for you to believe that people might like me?"
"I've seen 'Little Children' Dan..."
"The movie?" he laughed.
"Maybe Gillian is your Kate Winslet...that's all i'm saying,"
"You're being silly," he discarded his coffee and put his bag down before pressing a kiss to her lips. "Next week just try being yourself. You don't have to impress anyone," he headed to their bedroom and Blair followed.
"I see them judging me,"
"Why would they judge you?"
"I don't know," she shrugged as he sat down on the bed and pulled her close.
"Dan,...Dorota is here," she said softly but didn't really want him to stop as he pulled at her tights.
"Why would they ever get to judge you?" his hands glided over her body and she sighed happily. "...you're the prettiest, you have the best career and your kid is the smartest," he continued working at her clothes.
"She is?" Blair perked up.
"Hell yeah,"
"You're not lying to me?" she purred as her ran his hands up her legs.
"I would never,..." he kissed her thigh. "lie about the intelligence of our daughter," he kissed her hip bone and Blair purred louder. When he kissed her midsection her eyes flew open.
"Stop," she pushed at him. Dan looked up and frowned making her laugh lightly. "Just not there,...it's all I can think about..."
"Okay, what about here?"
"Oh...well that's nice...," she closed her eyes. Dan gently pushed down the strings of her panties and kissed her again closer to where she wanted him to be. "What about there?"
"That's nice too," she smiled dreamily.
"Just nice?,...what about here?"
"Ooooo, there, definitely there,"
XOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXOX
Blair went to playgroup with her head held high the next week. She and Nicky were dressed alike and she brought them a healthy snack of pita bread, hummus and veggies. Everything went just fine this day until the women started talking about their pregnancies, Blair first sat tight and was quiet listening to the individual stories. One started discussing her cravings, Blair laughed thinking about how she only ever wanted to eat dessert but forced herself to eat healthy for the baby's sake. Dan told Blair to socialize so she talked, describing her cravings for cupcakes and french macrons. When the conversation switched to breast feeding Blair looked away. She wished they would change the subject as they all went on and on about people who didn't breast feed and how they could ever deprive their children of the most natural nourishment. Blair snapped a carrot in half and ate it politely, chewing slowly and with her mouth completely shut. The women continued talking about their husbands now. Angie recalled on a memory of her husband's scared face as she reamed him out for bringing home the wrong brand of soap.
"He thought I was nuts..." she smiled. Gillian started talking about her husband and made it quite clear why they had been divorced for three years now. Blair sat up straight and beamed knowing she had stories that could top all of theirs. She knew that her designer clothing and status didn't impress these women but she did have something that they might be jealous of.
"Well Dan was unbelievably amazing to me while I was pregnant..." Blair sighed wondering which story she should tell first. She looked up to see all the women frowning. Blair cleared her throat wondering why the grim faces. "This one time,..." she smirked but before she could continue she was interrupted.
"Um Blair,..." Gillian cleared her throat. "Dan told us about..." she trailed off and looked at the women.
"About what?" her eyes pierced Gillian's, she felt her throat close up and her heart start to pound.
"Well Dan,...," she trailed off. "and the whole...Nicky thing...," she looked at the other women. "We know about her,"
"Well, that's..." she chewed on her lip feeling her eyes prick.
"Really we were just sharing stories so you don't have to lie sweetie,"
"Lie?" she blinked confused.
"It's not for everyone," Heather smiled and Blair knew what Dan told them.
XOXOXOXOXOXOX
Dan walked into the living-room to find Blair starring out the enormous window wrapped in her blanket. "Hey," he approached closely and tried to kiss her but she didn't want to kiss him back.
"You just think you can tell people?" he noticed her eyes were full of tears.
"Tell people what?"
"You told them about Nicky? and about us! intimate details about us!" she yelled angrily.
"Blair, we were just talking and swapping stories,"
"Why does that make it okay?" she cried. "You lied,"
"Blair, why is it such a big deal? people know! a lot of people know!,..our friends our family,"
"Not Nicky!"
"They aren't going to tell her,"
"How do you know that?...Dan they think i'm a liar!"
"What do you mean they think you're a liar?" he grabbed for her hands and made her look at him.
"I talked about my pregnancy,..." she teared up. "and I went into detail about you and all the things you did for me..."
"Well,..."
"No!...you can't tell people about us!" her bottom lip shook violently.
"I'm sorry,...maybe we need to talk about it to realize it's not something we should be hiding. We always wanted to tell Nicky,"
"I'm not fine with telling Nicky. You know exactly what will happen if we tell her!"
"What?"
"It will be a mess and it will start all over again!" Blair's necklace slipped off her neck, she caught it before it hit the ground. "DAMMIT!" she screamed. "why does it keep breaking!"
"Here, let me see," Dan took it. "It's not broken,...it just wasn't clasped in the right spot," he carefully looped it and let it fall on her neck.
"Blair,...hey," she was crying now and he wiped away her tears.
"What upsets me the most is,..." she gulped pressing her face against his shoulder. "You lied in order to tell them." she voice cracked. "You didn't tell them why," she closed her eyes and Dan's head titled to the side.
"I didn't think that was their business," he said softly wrapping his arms around her.
"If you're going to tell them anything, you have to tell them the whole story,"
"I'm sorry," he said genuinely. "I'm sorry about telling them. I'm sorry,...for this," he gulped and touched the metal plate of her necklace. Blair rested her head on his shoulder.
"Dan, I love you," she said in an assuring way that made Dan frown.
"I know," he rubbed her back. "I know that," Blair titled her head up towards him and smiled. Dan bent down and pressed his lips against hers. "I love you,"
"Can I still have your name?"
"You want to be Blair Humphrey? that sounds awful..." Blair giggled lightly and sniffed.
"I want it,"
XOXOXOXO
Dan was welcomed back to the publishing firm with arms wide open. He had a talent for picking out popular novels. His education saw business opportunities and boundless creativity when discovering each new author's potential.
After the second week back at the publishing firm Dan came home with a huge stack of notes. With a big smile on his face he dropped a package of notes on Blair's desk. "What's this?" she lifted the first page with the title 'Gone'
"This is the book i'm going to write!"
XOXOXOXOXO
A/N: Definitely not how I wanted this chapter but it needs to be released now. I hope you liked it. I'm trying my best to wrap this up in a timely manner. I tried to do one present chapter and then one flashback chapter, I can't do it. I have ADD when it comes to timelines. This is how I do, Like it or not this my style lol. I know all the things you want to know and what to see and it'll happen just be patient with me please :)