Dessert: Liara

Cerberus will not even have to try very hard to locate them at the rate that things are going.

"Badassfully: I didn't ask to be partnered with you, Blasto." Liara remembers Kaidan being more serious and mature than this. For some reason, now that he is back on the Normandy he reminds her of Shepard. The galaxy only needs one Shepard.

"No solid-waste excrement. You dislike the manner in which this Spectre operates." Some days, Liara suspects that even one Shepard might be too much.

"Badassfully: No, you're one of the best damn cops I've worked with."

They are supposed to be looking for a Prothean relic of some sort. Ostensibly. To listen to Shepard and Kaidan however, a person would think that the ground team was on Eden Prime for some sort of impromptu reenactment of every vid in the Blasto franchise.

"Then what is the difficulty? Aside from your sister." Oblivious to her friend's irritation, Shepard continues to quote the film. After a good deal of bickering, Kaidan acceded to her request to voice Blasto's lines. Shepard claimed that her experience as a Spectre gave her unique insight into the character.

"Badassfully: The problem is that I can't work with a partner who doesn't respect me."

"This one greatly respects you. But you care more about protocol than stopping the vorcha."

It occurs to Liara that the main characters of the sixth Blasto vid might actually be a decent representation of the differences between Shepard and Kaidan.

"Badassfully: Doing it by the book is what separates us from them."

"Okay, and then the vorcha show up," Shepard says. "And Blasto goes, 'Spawn of questionable parantage. The vorcha. Get to cover.'"

Kaidan grins. "I love that part. Watching a hanar and an elcor argue."

"It almost makes up for the bit that came right before," Shepard agrees.

"Can we talk about how much I love hearing an elcor say 'badassfully'?"

"Yeah," Shepard agrees. "It's a pretty awesome word."

Liara wants to bang her head against one of the colonists' prefabricated housing units. When she gets back to the Normandy, she is going to take an electromagnet to every Blasto vid on the ship.

…

Glyph has updates. The population of Tyvor killed themselves. The entire colony. They agreed it was better to kill themselves with nuclear weapons than to face the Reapers. Glyph assures her that their deaths would have been instantaneous.

"That's enough, info drone!" she snaps.

Liara considers asking EDI to help her break Glyph, but she does not want to have to organize all of the incoming data herself.

She sits on her bed and pours over information on a datapad. She sits in her chair and stares at the plans for the Cruicible. She looks out the window and tries to imagine what it was like for the people of Tyvor to make that decision. Did they vote? Did some politician just make the decision for all of them? Did most of them die in their sleep, unaware of what was happening?

Would she rather die? If she was not on the Normandy, would she be too afraid to fight?

There had to have been people who did not want to die.

There were children on that planet.

Goddess. Oh, Goddess. Keep them safe, wherever they are. Give them peace.

…

Liara jerks awake, gasping and terrified. When did she fall asleep? She keeps seeing explosions, smelling smoke. Are these her memories of the Citadel, or her fears?

Dreams should not be terrifying.

There are loud sounds coming from elsewhere on the crew deck. Liara leaves her cabin to investigate. She is not afraid to fight.

Shepard is in the kitchenette, banging cabinets and shaking drawers. Does the human know what time it is? Liara sighs, but she feels herself smile.

She walks over to Shepard and puts a hand on her arm. The commander turns around quickly, frantically. Loose hair brushes against her face. She's wearing that sweatshirt again. If it were not for the dark circles under her eyes, Shepard would look soft and comfortable.

Instead, she looks guilty. "I can't find…"

Liara glances at the container in Shepard's hand. A human dessert. What is it called? She has had it before, once or twice. It's similar to something that they have in Thessia. She takes a spoon out of a drawer and holds it up.

Shepard doesn't take it. "Did I wake you up?"

"I was glad to hear the noise," Liara assures her. "I—I could use a distraction."

The commander grabs another spoon, closing the drawer more loudly than necessary. "Well, we both know that I'm excellent at distracting people." She hops up onto the counter and pats the spot next to her.

Liara smiles as she steps into the offered place, but she refuses to respond to Shepard's questions. She does not want to burden Shepard. Shepard keeps pushing. Liara tries hiding by taking a bite of the dessert. It really is good. Different, full of human flavors, but sweet. She likes it.

"Hey!" Shepard nudges Liara a bit too hard and demands to know what is bothering Liara. "Tell me, or I take away your sugar," she teases. She lifts the dessert over her head. As though Liara couldn't retrieve it from her. Biotic abilities have many uses.

"I've been thinking about how long it took the Reapers to eradicate the Protheans, and how long they'll need for us. It took them centuries to conquer the Protheans. We're not quite so widespread, but it would still take at least one hundred years.

"It's selfish, but keep thinking… if we fail… I'm only a hundred and nine, Shepard. I could live to see the entire cycle come to an end."

The hands wildly gesturing in front of Liara's face are empty. Where is her spoon? How did she end up on the other side of the kitchenette? She stares at Shepard.

The commander looks nonplussed. She sweeps a curl of the dessert onto her spoon, deposits it into her mouth upside-down. "Only one hundred and nine, huh?" Tilting her head to the side and raising an eyebrow, she smiles that wry smile. When Liara hesitates, Shepard extends the container and shakes it slightly, tempting.

Liara's spoon is on the counter. She picks it up and smiles at Shepard. After all these years, jokes about their ages are as comfortable as sharing a dessert.

"I used to think it was sad that most aliens lived such short lives. Maybe it's not such a privilege to outlive so many… to witness so much death."

Shepard puts the container in Liara's hands and makes the asari wrap her fingers around it. She folds her hands around Liara's for a minute, ensuring that everything is secure before she lets go.

"Don't drive yourself crazy," she orders. "We're still in this fight."

Liara reminds Shepard that the only reason that there is a fight in the first place, is because Shepard is there to keep it going. Shepard is so tireless. She wouldn't have let the news of Tyvor slow her for long. Sometimes Liara wonders how Shepard does it.

When she says that, Shepard looks confused. It's always so surprising to see Shepard doubt herself.

"How do you keep going?" Liara asks again.

Shepard's brow clears. "I think of the people I care about." She looks so serious. Too serious. Have some more dessert, Shepard.

"I'm glad I'm among them. I hope." Liara smiles.

Confused again. "Of course you are." Shepard did not see a joke, she saw an actual question.

Liara takes another bite of the—what is it called? She glances up to ask Shepard. The commander is staring at her in the oddest way.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" Shepard shakes her head. Liara puts her hands on her own shoulders. There's a joke here somewhere. "Did you put a sign on my back again?"

"You didn't have to come, Liara. I could've taken Kaidan. Or… the Prothean." The words are sudden and awkward.

"What are you talking about, Shepard?"

"Noveria."

Shepard is worried that memories of Benezia's death have been keeping her awake. To her shame, Liara has not thought of her mother all day. She has not thought of her mother in many days. Goddess, she had had a snowball fight on Noveria without a second thought.

Liara assures Shepard that she is all right.

"How?" Shepard asks.

"I—it was so long ago, Shepard. I have had time."

"No," the human shakes her head. "How are you all right? Why don't you hate me?"

Oh.

"What a foolish question," Liara says.

"It's not! I killed your mother."

"Don't be ridiculous, Shepard! You did nothing of the kind."

"I was there!"

"I know. I was there, too, remember? I held her hand when she died. She died as herself, yes, but if she had lived, she would not have been herself. You did not kill her, Shepard. You could not have. Saren had trapped her. Sovereign had trapped her. You did not kill her, you…. You set her free."

"I wanna believe you," Shepard sighs. "Liara, I want to believe you so bad."

"Then believe me." Shepard looks away. Exasperated, Liara tugs on the human's hair. Shepard turns to her and Liara hits her on the nose with her spoon. "Believe me."

"Ouch!" Shepard puts the back of her hand to her nose and scowls at Liara. "I believe you, all right? Just stop beating me up."

"Oh, please. You take harder hits every time you shake hands with Wrex." She pulls lightly on Shepard's hair again. The gesture is addictive.

"This is why I always wear my hair up," Shepard says, trying to look pitiful. "You're a bully, T'Soni."

"You're a baby."

"Well, compared to you, sure." The commander grins. "I can't believe you pulled my hair. The last time someone pulled my hair, I was in grade school."

"Were you in a fight?"

"No! I mean, I punched him, but we weren't fighting. He was just too stupid to tell me he liked me." She rolls her eyes.

"And what would you have done if he had told you?"

"Instead of pulling my hair? I…I probably would have punched him."

"Only as an expression of your affection, of course."

"Shut up, T'Soni. Anyway, you're one to talk about expressions of affection."

"Me?"

"Oh c'mon. What about Traynor?"

"Samantha?"

"Samantha?" Shepard mocks. "Yeah. My poor little communications specialist. I let her use my shower the other day—"

"You let her use your shower?"

"Yes? She came up to play chess, but she just got so excited when she saw my shower, I couldn't say no! She's got really, really big eyes." Shepard grins. "Don't get jealous. I promise that I didn't touch her! It wasn't that big a deal. Anyway, when she was thanking me, she mentioned that wanted to look good for a big date she's got coming up. Why didn't you tell me?"

Liara still has no idea why Shepard thinks that Liara is dating Samantha. She says as much.

"I… you're not? Are you sure?"

"I think I would know if I was, Shepard."

"Huh." Shepard shrugs. "She must have meant someone else then."

"Why did you assume…?"

The commander shrugs again. "I don't know. Don't you two play chess sometimes? I mean, I didn't think she was good enough for you, but I wasn't going to judge."

"Oh really, you didn't think that she was good enough for me, but you were going to let me go out with her anyway? Some friend you are."

"No, I'm pretty sure it's my job as your friend to think that no one's good enough for you."

Liara shakes her head. "You think too highly of me."

Shepard punches Liara's shoulder. "No I don't. You just don't think highly enough of yourself."