A.N. I'm so sorry this is so late. I've had some things come up that prevented me from posting. Please don't hate me!

Tino was confused about the cookie thing. He wasn't that bad of a cook, was he? Before he could ask, Mathias was ushering them out. He gave everyone one last goodbye before the group left. Gilbert held tightly onto Matthew, kissing his forehead. "You did really well, you did an awesome job," he praised, wanting Matthew to know how good he was doing.

Matthew said, "Did I hurt Tino's feelings?" He felt guilty about throwing the cookie on the floor, but he felt so disgusted with himself for eating it.

Gilbert really wasn't in the mood to find out, so he just shrugged, yawning again. It was getting really dark outside, and he was tired. A nurse came in, telling Ludwig, Feliciano, Antonio, and Arthur that they would have to leave as it was after nine o' clock. With a last kiss to his older brother's forehead and a hug from Feliciano, Ludwig and Feliciano left to go to the brothers' apartment, promising to bring some things for Gilbert.

Antonio looked sad, but said, "I'll be back first thing tomorrow... I promise..."

Arthur looked very reluctant to leave Alfred's bedside, and his brothers practically had to drag him away. Arthur was struggling to hold back tears as he said, "I-If Alfred wakes up... Would you tell him I was here? Please... Tell him I didn't leave willingly..." Matthew nodded, and said, "He wouldn't have it another way..."

"Fuck," Gilbert muttered. He looked down at Matthew, hugging him protectively. They weren't exactly alone, but it sure felt like it, and Gilbert was scared now. Matthew looked at Gilbert and asked, "What's wrong?"

Gilbert didn't want to admit it, but the absence of everybody else made him really scared. Now, he was even more vulnerable. He was already seeing Roderick in everything. When he turned, Roderick was staring out of the TV, holding a gun. Then, Roderick was jumping out of the window, running at him. Normally, Gilbert would have laughed at this, but everything felt so real! His heart rate spiked, his breathing got quicker. Everything was Roderick or Vash or the asshole who had shot him in the side, he couldn't escape.

Matthew knew that look. PTSD. Matthew still suffered from it on occasion. He stroked Gilbert's hair, and said, "Do you want me to sing to you again?"

Gilbert took a deep breath and nodded, cuddling close to Matthew and closing his eyes, hoping that he could block out all the people. He focused only on Matthew, how soft his skin was, how gentle his voice was, how wavy his hair was.

Matthew sighed and began to sing.

"I know you
I walked with you
once upon a dream
I know you
that gleam in your eye
is so familiar a gleam
and I know it's true
that visions are seldom all they seam
But if I know you
I know what you'll do
You'll love me at once
the way you did once
upon a dream..."

###

Gilbert managed to fall asleep, still scared. He tried to stay asleep, but couldn't block out Roderich and Vash and everyone else. Eventually, he was so scared, he couldn't take it. Gilbert woke up, burying his face in Matthew's chest and sobbing. He was shaking with fear, tears rolling down his cheeks. Underneath the muscular build and dark appearance, Gilbert was only human, and that part of him had been irreversibly damaged.

Matthew had been in a restless sleep, but woke quickly with Gilbert. He pet Gilbert's hair, and whispered, "Shhh... I'm here Gilbert... I'm here..." Gilbert nodded through his tears, trying to be strong for Matthew. He hated himself for being so teary and scared, he was being such a wuss! Gilbert kept holding tightly onto Matthew, as if he could hide behind his boyfriend.

Gilbert finally wiped away his tears, letting go of Matthew. He curled back up in bed, looking sadly at his pillows. He got his ruined phone out of his backpack, silently playing a game to try and block his thoughts of Roderick.

Matthew sighed. Gilbert looked like he was a war victim. Matthew wished he could help More, but he didn't know what to do. He felt so helpless.

"I wanna get out of this place. I hate it here," Gilbert mumbled. He searched through his backpack again, as though he'd find something to smoke. He searched through his notebooks and pencil cases, trying to find something. Giving up, he texted Antonio, telling him to bring him drugs the next day. Matthew sighed and said, "I know Gilbert... I want to get out of here too... But Where would I go?"

Antonio texted back with a "No can do amigo. Tell Matthew that Arthur picked up his bear."

"Arthur's got Kuma," Gilbert sighed, texting Antonio back. He wouldn't rest until he got drugs. Gilbert found Lovino's number, asking him to get some drugs from his room, knowing that Feliciano, who was at the German brothers' apartment, would probably be with his brother. Lovino would listen to Gilbert, right? Maybe if there was money in the deal. Lovino texted back, telling Gilbert that Ludwig had already cleaned out his room.

Matthew let out a relieved sigh. "Thank God... I thought for sure he'd be killed..."

Gilbert felt hopeless. He'd made a promise to Matthew, but he had to break it for his own sanity. Gilbert texted his dealer, Ivan, crossing his fingers. Maybe he'd get some drugs from him, even though he was probably on Roderick's side. Ivan also refused to give Gilbert any drugs, because his sister was blaming Gilbert for Matthew's attempted suicide. To Ivan this made Gilbert the cause of the riot.

Matthew let his mind wonder to his mother and he began to cry again. Gilbert hugged Matthew, rubbing his back while texting the only other drug dealers he knew: Sadiq, Abel (Netherlands), and Im Yong Soo, hoping that they would get him something. He didn't want to deal with this, he couldn't just go cold turkey. Abel was the only one to respond as the others were already asleep, or in another country. He told Gilbert he could set him up as soon as he got discharged.

Matthew's small frame shook with sobs and he curled in on himself. Gilbert smiled at the text, then turned his attention to Matthew. He hugged his sweet little boyfriend, kissing the tears away from his cheeks. "You're okay, I've got you, you're safe with me," he soothed, though Gilbert doubted his own words. Was Matthew really that safe with him?

Matthew shook with sobs, and said, "No! I-I'm not okay! You're not okay! We're not okay! We never have been!" He broke down into another bought of sobbing.

Gilbert really wanted to break down in tears too, but he had to be strong for Matthew. He played with Matthew's hair, softly shushing him. "Do you want to watch a movie, or play a game?" he asked, trying to distract Matthew.

Matthew shook his head and whimpered, "I did this! I did all of this! I know it had been building up for a long time, but I was the trigger! I caused this!"

"Mattie, no! No, no, no! You did not cause this, I don't understand what makes you think that! All of this was just waiting to happen, Roderich did this, he did all of this shit!" Gilbert hissed, glancing at the other patients to make sure he hadn't woken any of then up.

Matthew's crying worsened as he was lightly scolded by Gilbert. "But I gave him a reason!" He said, "I gave him an excuse, and isn't that worse?"

"Matthew. It was going to happen anyway. I'm glad that this is over, and that the way this happened, nobody was killed. We couldn't have done anything to stop this, so why don't we stop looking at the past and just have our now? I haven't gotten to just be with you for a while, why don't we enjoy our time together?" Gilbert asked. He kissed Matthew gently, wiping the tears off his cheeks. Matthew shook and said, "I just wish I'd never locked myself in that bathroom..."

"I do too, Mattie. I do too," Gilbert kissed Matthew's bandaged wrists, fighting back tears. Why did Matthew have to be so unhappy with himself? Gilbert felt like the only person who saw Matthew for how beautiful he was. "You're so beautiful, I don't know why you hurt yourself," Gilbert whispered. He pushed up Matthew's sleeves a bit, brushing his lips over all the cuts on Matthew's arms, silent tears falling down his cheeks.

Matthew shakily said, "When everything feels like the movies... You bleed just to know you're alive..." He traced one of his cuts and said, "You'll never know how painful it is to be invisible... to live in the shadow of someone you still love so much..." He looked at Alfred, in sad admiration. "To be overlooked by everyone... That's why I bleed... And why I'm trying to be thin... So someone might look my way and see more then just air..." He looked away from his brother, and shifted his gaze to his lap. "Or maybe I'm just waiting for someone to tell me I did good... Looking for someone's approval... I remember, I would come home with all As on my report cards, and Alfred would have Cs and Ds... I hoped they would tell me I did good, but instead they just scolded Alfred, and ignored me..." Matthew looked at Gilbert's scarlet eyes and said, "That's all anyone ever does... Ignore... Until they find out what ignorance does to people like me..." He touched the bandage on his wrist, and winced. "Then they pay attention for a wile, but once they think it's all okay..." He looked at Alfred again. "They forget... and ignore again..."

Upon hearing this, Gilbert started to cry more. "Matthew, I want you to know that there are people out here who notice you. There are people out here, who will be with you through everything, no matter what they have to give up for it. There are people out here who will do anything to see you smile, no matter how stupid they look. There are people out here who will love you with all their hearts even if they don't get anything back. I'm one of those people, and if I have to, I will stay by your side for the rest of our lives, just so you know that you are loved," Gilbert cupped Matthew's cheek. He contemplated just doing another teasing kiss, but he had to seal this pact. He leaned forward, capturing Matthew's lips in a kiss. This had to be the most meaningful kiss in all of Gilbert's life, and he put all of his energy and passion into it. Never again would Matthew be an extra; he was the main character.

Matthew kissed back after a few seconds, and put a hand in Gilbert's hair. He tried to express how grateful and loved he felt in the kiss. He wanted Gilbert to know how much he loved him, and how much that vow meant to him. He wanted to make this kiss the one that would seal their fate.

Gilbert pulled away after a while, hugging Matthew as best as he could, grinning like an idiot. "I don't care that we really haven't been dating that long. I'm in love with you so much," Gilbert whispered. He gently kissed Matthew again, only wanting to be with him. Matthew broke the second kiss and breathed against Gilbert's lips, "I love you Gilbert..."

"I love you more," Gilbert replied teasingly. He didn't think there was a word in any language that could explain how much Gilbert loved Matthew.

Matthew smiled and said, "I don't think that's possible..." Matthew had never felt so wanted, so needed. He felt loved, and he had always returned every bit of love he received ten fold.

"Oh, really... I love you most. There, that settles it," he teased, nuzzling close to Matthew, and kissing his chin. That was their inside joke, always had been and always would be.

Matthew giggled, and said, "God as my witness, you will learn to kiss..." He kissed Gilbert properly on the lips with a small smile.

"Might need more practice," Gilbert replied. He peppered Matthew's face with kisses everywhere but his mouth. Gilbert let out a quiet yawn, looking at the time on his phone. It wasn't a time that was normally late for him, but the drugs made him really tired.

Matthew giggled and said, "I don't know why Francis speaks so highly of your abilities, when you can't even find my lips..." Matthew let out a long yawn, and said, "Gil I'm sleepy..."

"So am I," Gilbert murmured. As he said that panic began to set in again. "F-fuck, Mattie, I'm scared," he whimpered. With his eyes open, Gilbert had Matthew to protect him. But the minute Gilbert closed his eyes, he became vulnerable, and began to battle himself. "I'm really scared, I don't know what's real and what isn't," Gilbert sighed, not even noticing the waterfall of tears cascading from his eyes.

Matthew pet Gilbert's hair, and said, "You're safe Gilbert... Roderick's in jail... Vash and his guns are thousands of miles away... Yoa is in jail... We're in a high security ward of the safest hospital in the state, under constant surveillance... Nothing's going to hurt you... I'm here, and I'll keep you safe..."

Though Matthew's words were comforting, they only applied to the real world. Matthew couldn't do anything in Gilbert's dreams, where the terror resided. "But that's not in my dreams. Fuck, I'm scared of my dreams, I really am!" Gilbert's nightmares felt like a trap, closing in on all sides of him, and he couldn't do anything about them.

Matthew sighed in sympathy, and said, "Don't I know it... Alfred has bad night terrors... mostly about some kind of alien named Tony, but they terrify him... I can't stop the dreams from happening, but I can help you in their aftermath... Think about your pet, Gilbird! I always think of Kuma to ward off nightmares, so maybe Gilbird will help..."

Gilbert nodded, laying back down and pulling Matthew close to him to cuddle. "Will you sing to me again?" He asked. Matthew had a beautiful voice, and it was so soothing to Gilbert, it made him feel like nothing could ever hurt him.

Matthew nodded, and began to stroke Gilbert's hair as he sang to his love.
"I remember tears streaming' down your face
when I said I'll never let you go
When all those shadows almost killed your
light
I remember you said,
'don't leave me here alone'
but all that's dead and gone and past
tonight

Just close your eyes
the sun is going down
you'll be alright
no one can hurt you now
come morning light
you and I'll be safe and sound"