A/N: EPIC review fail! LOL! Just messin'! I did get 20 reviews which is higher than normal, so thanks for that. EPIC review response fail on my part, sorry about that, but know that I read and appreciate every single one of them. I'll get back on track with this update, I promise. Well I'll be brief here as I'm sure you all want to get to the good stuff. I finally earn my M rating here, so pucker up baby!

This story has an M rating for foul language and dirty deeds.

Stephenie Meyer is the Queen of the Twilight world and I'm just having some harmless fun with her characters.

Thanks to LovinRob and DannysMom for being the best beta babe's a gal could ask for. Flove you both!

Chapter 13 - Don't Need Candles and Cake

BIRTHDAY SEX
By Jeremih

We grindin with passion, 'cause it's your birthday
Been at it for hours, I know you thirsty
You kiss me so sweetly, taste just like Hershey's
Just tell me how you want your gift, girl

Girl you know I-I-I, Girl you know I-I-I
I been feenin,
Wake up in the late night
Been dreamin bout your loving, girl
Girl you know I-I-I, Girl you know I-I-I
Don't need candles and cake
Just need your body to make
Birthday sex… Birthday sex ooh
(It's the best day of the year girl)
Birthday sex… Birthday sex ooh
(G-spot g-spot let me hit that g-spot g-spot girl)

Saturday 3-4am

We stumble through my front door. Her hair is dripping all over the goddamn place but I couldn't give a flying fuck right now. Her tongue is in my mouth, battling for dominance with my own. Her legs are wrapped around my waist and she has one hand in my hair and one hand down the back of my jeans grabbing my ass. I have one arm under her ass and the other wrapped tightly up and around her shoulder to keep her in place. I lean my shoulder up against the wall going down the hall towards my bedroom otherwise I'm afraid I would topple over and hurt Bella, or myself, or both of us and then there would be no birthday sex for me and that would just be tragic.

"Edward, please! Please hurry! I'll die if your cock is not inside me in like 5 seconds! Oh god!" Bella gasps out into my neck, followed by little nibbles that move up to my ear lobe.

"Shit Bella! I'm trying to go as fast as I can!" I pant out.

I finally reach my bedroom and I unceremoniously toss her into the center of my bed. I rip my button up off and toss it behind me somewhere.

"Get naked HB." I demand

I watched her pull her skimpy little shorts down her legs, followed by that lacey scrap of fabric she considers underwear and then she sits up and starts undoing the corset. This only takes a second because she only attached 3 or 4 of the hooks when we were scrambling to get dressed. And even though I've already seen her mostly naked I'm struck dumb, again. She is fucking magnificent.

"Jesus, you're fucking beautiful." I tell her, in awe.

"Edward, I need you, touch me! Please, fuck me!" She wantonly pleads with me as she's running her hands up and down her body.

Now, trying to pull jeans off of wet legs is no easy task. I have them down around my knees and I'm trying to pull one foot free but seeing as how they are stuck to my calves and I'm currently still three sheets to the wind I end up face planting onto the bed. And now Bella is laughing hysterically at me.

"Shut the fuck up Honey Bee! If you want to get up on my cock you could help me you know. Shit!" I say, laughing to show her that I'm not really angry.

I feel her hands on my shoulders pushing me onto my back. Once I'm on my back she stands in front of me, gloriously naked, and grabs both my feet and sets them on her stomach. She pulls each foot free from the confines of my jeans and then let's each foot drop to the floor. She follows suit and drops to her knees and I immediately pop up on my elbows to see if she's going to do what I think she's going to do. She drags her hands from my ankles up to my calves, my knees, my thighs, up to my hips and then inward. She takes the base of my cock in one hand and just stares at it. Having someone just stare at my piece makes me feel kind of weird and uncomfortable, and small, which I'm not by the way.

"Seriously Edwardo, you have the most beautiful cock I've ever laid eyes on. It's perfect." She trails her pointer finger of her free hand in the indentations of my abdominal muscles, and continues to stare.

What does one say to that kind of compliment?

"Thanks?" No.

"I know right?" No.

"That's what she said?" Maybe.

"Didn't your mother teach you not to stare, it's rude?" Definitely not.

"You're not the first person to tell me that?" Hell no!

In my moment of speechlessness, she takes me into her mouth.

"Ohhhhhh, fuuuuuuuck!" gurgles out of my mouth and I slump back down on the bed as my arms give out.

Bella continues her assault on my dick, using the perfect amount of teeth and hollow cheeks and tongue and sucking extra hard on the head, licking up the vein on the underside and around the tip, like a lollipop. Great, damn you Lil Wayne, now that song will be stuck in my head. She runs her hand up and down in time with her mouth. She takes me all the way in to the back of her throat and she gags, and that shit is fucking hot.

"God damn HB, that's so fucking hot! Do it again." I beg.

She moans and drops her mouth back down onto my cock and gags again, but holds herself there. She swallows around me and I almost lose my shit right then. I yank her off my Johnson by her hair. She's drooling all over my nuts and now she's just jerking me off and giving me her lusty eyes and I really just want to shoot my jizz all over her face, but I'm drunk and if I cum on her face there will be no birthday sex for me and, again, that would just be tragic.

I grab her face and pull her up towards me. I moan as her little body rubs along the length of mine. I pull her in for a kiss and grab each of her thighs so that she is straddling me. And jesusmotherfuckmesideways if she doesn't immediately grind her pussy down onto my dick in the most wicked circle and pop motion. Circle and pop, circle and pop and my eyes roll back in my head. And it's very moist and warm down there and my dick likes moisture and warmth so he is straining upwards trying to sheath himself within that little piece of heaven.

"Condom Edward, need a condom now. Where are they?" she asks.

"Motherfucker! They're in the bathroom." I scoot her off of me and run back down the hall into the bathroom and grab the condoms out of the medicine cabinet. When I return Bella is in hysterics again.

"What the fuck HB? Why are you always laughing at me?" I want to know, even though I'm secretly thrilled that I can make her laugh like that.

"I could hear your cock slapping your stomach the whole way there and back!" she gasps out between her very unladylike guffaws. Then she snorts.

"Did you just snort Honey Bee?" I say, deadpan.

This causes us both to fall into a fit of giggles. Yes I'm giggling, fuck off, I'm drunk remember? I mentally point at my chest. Bella grabs the box out of my hand and raises her eye brow as she looks at me.

"The whole box Edwardo? A little presumptuous aren't we?" She questions with a grin plastered to her face.

"Fuck off Bella! I was trying to hurry back to you, but maybe I'll just roll over and pass out." I start to roll over.

"Well you got a wee little problem there babe." She says pointing to my cock that is still straining to reach her honey pot.

"Wee little? Seriously HB? You wound me. I'll go jack off and I'll be fine. See you in a few." I tell her as I scoot to the edge of the bed.

Bella attaches herself to my back as I sit up and attempt, and fail, to stand. She tells me she's sorry and that my dick is not small and she wants it, she wants it in her pussy and between her tits, and in her mouth again. She wants me to cum on her face and on her chest, and her ass and her back, and in her mouth and on her toes. She's licking and biting my neck the whole time she is drunk whispering, which you may well know is not whispering at all, these naughty things into my ear. She is also rubbing her pussy up and down and all around the small of my back, and my dick is jealous so I grab her and spin her around so she is straddling me again. I slam my lips to hers and we're a hot mess of tongues and teeth and lips and a lot of drool.

I grab a condom out of the box and rip it open. Bella grabs it out of my hand and rolls it down my length. She looks me in the eye as she lowers herself down onto me. She lets out the fucking sexiest guttural moan I've ever heard and her eyes roll back in her head and then her head rolls back too. I can feel her hair tickling my thighs and it feels fucking awesome. I have my arms around her back with my fingers curled over her shoulders, holding her in place. My forehead is resting on her chest and I rub my stubbled chin between her boobs and I'm almost tempted to blow a raspberry in her cleavage, motor boating son of a bitch that I am, but I don't, maybe later.

"Fuck Honey Bee, you're so warm and so wet, so tight, so motherfucking right." When did I turn into such a cheese ball? I guess as long as it is of the Port Wine variety I'm okay with it.

"Oh my god, Jesus, Edward, you feel so fucking good and you aren't even moving yet." She moans out.

"Give me a minute Bella. You feel too good and I'm about to bust a nut already." I tell her, trying to take deep breathes to calm my ass down.

She whimpers and starts to move her hips in little tiny circles. Jesus! I don't stop her even though I'm still on the brink of an orgasm. I just try not to focus on the feeling of her surrounding me. When I feel like I'm a bit more in control I move my hands down and I grip her hips tightly and lift her up slowly. Bella is having none of that slow motion shit though and brings herself all the way up so only my head is just barely inside of her still and then proceeds to slam herself back down on to me. We both groan, loud, like porn star loud. She lifts up and slams down again. Up, slam, up, slam, swivel, up, slam, up, slam, swivel, rinse and repeat. Those swivels are going to kill me. She is using my hair and my ears like her own personal "oh shit" handles and it kind of hurts, but it also kind of feels really fucking good, just kind of intensifies the pleasure. I have her right tit in my mouth, my teeth clamped onto her nipple and my right hand is holding her other breast. My left hand is grabbing her ass while she continues her pounding rhythm.

"Oh fuck, I can feel you. I can feel every delicious vein and ridge of your cock rubbing inside of me. It's so good, so fucking good." She pants out, breathlessly.

I stand up and turn around and lower her to the bed, never breaking our connection. My bed is pretty high off the ground so I only have to bend my knees just a bit and I'm perfectly level with her pussy. I grab her ankles and put them on my shoulders and I hold onto her calves as I start to pump into her at a steady pace. I need to see her taking me in so I grab her knees and push them up and out towards her shoulders. Watching my cock disappear into her pussy and reappear all slick and shiny is probably the most erotic sight I've ever seen. I tear my eyes away from where we are joined and watch her. Her eyes are closed and she has a firm grip on her breasts and she's tweaking her nipples between her thumb and middle finger and it's so sexy to watch her touch herself. Her eyes pop open and find mine and as if she can read my thoughts, she moves her right hand down, down over her stomach and down thru her cute little landing strip of curls and starts to rub tight little circles over her clit. I feel faint all of a sudden.

"Holy Shit HB! That's so sexy, so motherfucking sexy, you have no idea. I hope your close because I don't think I'll be able to stop this time." I plead with her.

"I'm close Edward. I need you to go faster." She says.

I place Bella's feet flat on the bed right below her ass and I grip her inner thighs. I pick up the pace and after half a dozen more thrusts Bella's back arches completely off the bed and she lets out a little grunt and has her teeth clenched and her pussy is clenched and she gives me lusty eyes again and I'm fucking toast. I cum so hard that I lose my sight for a minute and I can't hear shit except for my heart pounding and my blood pumping and I think I might die by orgasm. I lurch forward and barely manage to catch myself before I dead weight onto Bella. She wiggles herself up onto the bed the correct way, top to bottom instead of side to side, and attempts to pull me with her and I attempt to let her. I crawl up onto my knees and pull the condom off of me and tie it in a knot and just toss it off the side of the bed. I get what I've now dubbed "the HB eyebrow" and just shrug in response before falling onto my side next to her. I look at her and she's looking at me with the cutest little smirk playing on her lips, it almost seems shy.

"What?" I ask her with my own signature smirk in place.

"That was... I don't think there is a term that will suitably describe what I just experienced with you. It was amazing. Thank you." She rolls over onto her side to face me and places a sweet, gentle kiss on my lips, one on my nose, one on each cheek and each eye lid and my forehead. She then tucks herself into my neck and sighs, "Happy Birthday Edward."

"It was extraordinary, just like you, my little Honey Bee." She giggles quietly and nestles herself further into my neck and I kiss her head and wrap my arms around her, holding her to me tightly, "Thanks for the best birthday ever and the best birthday sex too."

Now, I'm usually the type that will toss and turn for an hour before I finally fall asleep, but that is not the case this night. I'm out immediately. I'm not sure whether it is because I'm still mostly drunk, or because I just had mind blowing sex, or because I have an amazing woman sleeping in my arms. I would bet a combination of all three would be the culprit but you won't hear me complain.

A/N: So, I popped my lemon writing cherry. Did it *ahem* rise to the occasion? Well I enjoyed writing it, so I hope you all enjoyed reading it. I'm not feeling very wordy today, so… Leave me some of yours instead. Mwah!

This week's rec is from MandyLeigh87. It's called Dead Man Walking. It's a short story and a quick read, but it's very good.

When graduate student Isabella Swan decides to write her final paper on death row inmate Edward Masen, she promises her mother she won't get too involved. She couldn't have been more wrong. Rated M for language, content. B/E Mini Fic

Visit the blog for some visual goodies and other stuff:
lastfridaynight-amandac3(dot)blogspot(dot)com

Love it or hate it, let me know please
and as always thanks for reading.