Author's Note: So, um, hi, remember me, the bitch who kinda-sorta almost killed Logan off in a Kogan story before it was fully over. Yeah, that bitch, but I made you all a promise I plan to keep. So, this chapter is all Kendall's perspective and because I know that's really annoying when it's underlined a lot, this one will have normal font, but
*IMPORTANT*, this is all Kendall (or someone related) POV.
No Logan in this chapter though he'll show up in the next, none of his POV, but we'll get that back in the final one, so not all is bad. BTW, this is a really bizarre chapter. But have faith in me. XoXo. Luv ya.
Kendall spent the whole day just thinking; since what had happened, it's all he could do any more without wanting to fully die. Here's how the events of the rest of that day panned out after the EMS truck.
Kendall followed the ambulance to the hospital in his own car, wanting to simply get away from the voice, but when he tried to follow his Kisses into the ward where he was being taken, he was rejected. And he recognized the nurse very well from the last time they were there. So he started to plead with the plump woman in front of him, reminding her of who the boy was and who he was and he could tell she was getting it. And he looked her deep in the eyes and again, she said no. He asked her why and she then told him this.
"The docta has instructed that you aren't allowed in there because he believes this may be ya fault and ya may not be the best thing fa him right now. He's asked me to tell you that, well, um, that ya are to neva be allowed to see the patient again. Please go home."
The woman at the nurses' station flashed a mournful smile before looking down at her paper's so she wouldn't have to face Kendall.
And the blonde was in shock.
He really had lost Logan; for real. This was no longer some pseudo dream or bizarre, alternate reality, but this was now his life. He was to never see what was left of his boyfriend and so he went into his car and just wept more. For a solid hour, he sat and cried before turning the keys in the ignition and pulling away from the hospital and speeding home. But when he got home, he couldn't even get himself to get out of the car and just sat in the seat while pondering what had happened the day before. How could he be so close to winning and then lose it all in the next instant? How could he just let the love of his life go like that? And he fell asleep with these thoughts racing through his head before he woke the next morning, still buckled in the car.
It didn't matter if he died anymore because he had already really passed away. Without Logan, he simply had no will to really live anymore. He got inside the house slowly, not caring that he had left the door wide open when he saw his father and Jo at the dinner table. And after seeing them, all that he could feel was pure disgust at how triumphant they looked.
"Kendall," Mr. Knight exclaimed, "I'm so happy your home, I was worried about you; Jo said something happened at the picnic."
"Yes, I told your father all about how we had an argument at the picnic," she said, taking a bite of her bread, "And how it's all better now. Because you Love me. Right Kendall." She smiled at him, but it seemed more like she was barring her teeth.
Everything felt like it was melting around the blonde and so he decided that he wasn't going to try to lie, he was going to tell everyone exactly how he felt. "This is all your fault isn't it. I don't know how, but you two did something to him. You hurt my love."
"Kendall Knight, I absolutely have no idea what you may be alluding t-,"
"Tell ME RIGHT NOW!" Kendall screamed, his mental state obviously deteriorating further, "What did you do. You're the only missing piece, what did you do to my Kisses."
"He's not your Kisses," Jo spat back, glaring intensely, "He's a pathetic psycho fag that you played with and tried on. He knew it just as well as I did; your father and I just did the favor of returning him for you."
Kendall couldn't believe what she had said; he had expected that they'd try something, but he thought it was just paranoid speculation. Hearing them say it was a completely different story entirely. And then something happened to Kendall that he'd only ever witnessed in another person. A different voice escaped his throat.
"I swear to god, I'll kill either of you if you don't tell me what you did to his Kisses." Immediately, Kendall slammed his hands over his mouth, but his glare was evident and threatening. And the pastor started to fear what was going on around him.
"Kendall," his father said, slowly getting up to go his son's side, "Are you alright."
"Shut UP! Leave Kendall alone; he doesn't need you, he never needed you, just leave him alone so he can move on." "No, No, No, come forward old man, let him taste blood for the first time, let him hurt you." Kendall started to grimly laugh when Jo grabbed a knife that they were using to cut fruit.
"Look," she said, standing up quickly and holding the knife out to the laughing blonde, "I don't know what you're doing, but you're going to cut this shit out right now. Stop it. Here me. Stop it now."
"No, Jo, hear me, I don't love you and I never could, because you're a cruel bitch and who ever could love someone like you must obviously be sick in the head," he finally regained his own voice, but the others he was hearing in his head wanted to do much worse to the blonde that had stolen his love. "Lunge at her Kendall, Lunge at her and take the knife and dig it deep into her chest. Cut her heart out, cut it out so you can steal her heart like she stole yours when she hurt Coco. Finish off what she started herself." "You know something," he responded to himself, "I'm starting to agree with you."
And with barred teeth, he dove at the blonde girl in front of him, grabbing the knife while they tussled to the ground and holding it to her neck. He felt the blood lust rise in himself while he watched her squirm under him, but his other voices advised against it completely.
"No, don't do it, let her go. If you ever want a chance to see that beautiful face again of his, you can't do this. Going to prison or a straight jacket won't help anyone."And then Kendall started to reconsider doing this. For starters, the girl under him was crying profusely, the first time he'd ever seen real emotion out of her in his whole life. She was pleading for her life desperately while he had the blade to her neck and then he realized something. That one day, maybe Logan would get to leave the ward and he'd never see him again if he was locked away, so slowly, he removed the object from her and slipped it into his pocket. He stood up before kicking her hard in the side and he looked over to his cowering father who was hiding next to the open front door.
"Tell me now," the blonde growled at the pastor, "Tell me what you did to him or I'll do what I was going to do to her to you." Jo was moaning on the ground while holding her ribs, but Kendall didn't care, he needed to find out what happened.
"Well, I saw him in the yard outside the church and I, I, went out to go and talk to him, and at first it was to be kindly, but when I recognized him and remembered what Jo had told me about him, I, I just wanted him gone, so, so, so I told him to jump. I told him to go away, but I never thought he'd do it. I thought he loved you too much." His father was still cowering while Kendall stood there in shock at the revelation.
"You good for nothing bastard," Kendall said, voice low all the while more intimating than before, "Give me one good reason not to slit your neck from ear to ear." "That's the spirit Kendall, you got it. You heard what he did to him; you know whose fault it really is that Kisses is gone. Do it, make the red smiley face across his neck like he deserves."
"Wait," his father whimpered while the blonde started to draw the knife back out, "Wait, I'm still your father and I was just trying to protect you. Can you hurt me for loving you? I did it for you, that was all, I never meant it to hurt you."
Kendall rolled his eyes, his disdain obvious on his face, "You aren't my father. You're a man who fucked a woman who left us. And she left us because of how insane you are. You aren't my father. The only connection you have to me is biological. To me, you're nothing but a piece of shit who I can't leave. " Kendall started to draw forward when he heard the sound of police sirens in the distance.
"I called the cops," Jo screamed, "And I swear to god that if you hurt either of us, I'll make sure you never see that boy again."
"Fuck Kendall," theblood thirsty voice shouted, "Fuck, why didn't you kill her when we had the chance. Now what are we going to do." "Run," the calmer voice interjected, "Run now before they can get you. Get out of here."
And that's exactly what Kendall did; he ran into the car and locked the doors before taking off out of the house and speeding into the distance. He put his foot to the pedal and went far, going a way he knew the cops would never expect him too. He had all the money that was left from his trips and a little of his own, so he could escape and get away. He could go hide and wait for Logan, it wouldn't be impossible, but what would be would possible would be getting caught if he didn't go refuel the car, so he pulled into a gas station quickly and got it all set up before he pulled his phone out and went to Jo's number. The thoughts in his head were still terribly muddled, but he needed her to see something of herself, so as fast as he could, he started typing.
"I wnt u 2 C what u did 2 Ksses, I want u 2 C hm in tht wrd and kno that u r the reson hes in there. Have mercy, 4 once."
He clicked send quickly when he heard the pump finish and immediately, he pulled it out and paid as fast as possible. But since it was cash, he had to go inside and the cashier of course wanted to make small talk, and it definitely was not something the blonde was up for, so doing his best to control his own mouth, he accidently spat out, "Go die." He quietly walked out of the station and into his car. Putting the keys in the ignition as fast as possible, he zoomed off into the distance to go to the one place that would feel right to him again. The one place were his Kisses still somewhat existed.
Jo wasn't expecting the police sirens when they came, but she was happy to use it to her own advantage and so she lied to Kendall. Why in the world would she call the police to come get a mental patient? It would mean he could end up with the brunette again and she refused to have that. No, he needed to suffer much worse than that and she realized that he would do that if he ran away. And she also needed to protect herself from her insane boyfriend. Jo had sacrificed much too much to die at his hands and now that he was gone, she felt slightly better. Then she got the text with the Pastor standing next to her.
"I wnt u 2 C what u did 2 Ksses, I want u 2 C hm in tht wrd and kno that u r the reson hes in there. Have mercy 4 once."
And his father started to cry at the message, something that shocked the blonde girl because she thought he'd feel the best of all. They had done nothing wrong, matter-of-fact, they'd followed the bible better than most. Did the passage about Gays not read something like this:
"If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads."
She had memorized that verse and she played it through her head every time Kendall would bring up his whore around her. Because she knew it was wrong and as a faithful woman of god almighty, she had to follow his word. The bible was truth, was it not; it had lasted for thousands of years, so it must be doing something right, but the man next to her started to cry hard.
"What *sob* what the hell have we done," he cried out, wrapping his arms around her, "We *sob* we killed someone. He's dead cause of us. What have we done?"
"Do you hear yourself," Jo spat back at the pathetic excuse for a man next to her, "Do you hear what you're saying. You're a pastor for god's sake; you know the bible, you know what it says about Homos, we've done his will."
"Fuck the Bible," the pastor yelled out next to her, "Fuck the Bible and Fuck Jesus and Fuck the Church and Fuck us."
"What's gotten into you," she hollered back, pushing him away from her in disgust, "Have you lost your mind as well; we're in the right here."
"What right, we've hurt another human being."
"We've gotten rid of an abomination," she said back, staring at the stair case across from her, "We'll have our reward in heaven."
"What heaven," the pastor cried out, "There's no god up in the sky rewarding people for murder. If there was, then why would anyone ever want to worship something like that? We're the executioners. We're the ones that will go to hell."
"You disgust me," she said back, nursing her hurt side, "You're supposed to be the preacher."
"No Jo," he said back from the floor, "Look at yourself, you're the disgusting one, we're the disgusting ones. You've killed your boyfriend and the love of his life. Think of how many lives you've affected. We affected." And for the first time in a long time, Jo started to reconsider her faith as well. She needed to see the boy.