To say it poetically, it seemed an eternity had come and gone before Yuki turned to face me again.
"You're...gay..." She repeated the words as if I was the one who didn't understand them.
Desperation started to bubble through my veins. Yeah, isn't it so incredibubble! I pushed the hysterical voice away before any such nonsense could be pushed pasted my lips, which were unfortunately very loose today. As the bubbly blood fueled my brain it gave up flashes of what this very blond and that very secret had put me through.
Like the time with Kiba.
The party.
The kisses.
This overly awkward moment I didn't know how to fix.
The kisses.
And being basically alienated for all that time.
"I-I mean- "
"Do you think-" We started at the same time. She glanced at me and I saw a hint of the same feeling I was experiencing.
"What?"
"Could we...maybe, talk later. After school or something." I need time to realize my crush would only like me if I changed in the same room as him for gym class. She didn't add that last bit. She didn't need to.
"Sure. Here?" One word at a time. Just get through it one word at a time.
"Yeah." She turned her green eyes to the ground. Blue hair fell in around her, blocking her face from view. "Um, can I... Can I talk to anyone, about this? About...you?"
"Choji, Haku, Naruto or Kiba, yeah." As a side thought I wondered how Kiba knew. I hadn't told him, and Haku would have let me know if Naruto's stupidity got the best of him in front of someone. Oh well, that was for another time.
"No one else?" She peeked at me, curious about how I would act. I was actually relieved she'd asked. At least she would know I don't want Sakura and Ino in on this, not yet anyway. Who knows about later.
"Please." And that was it. She gave a small nod, only noticeable by the movement of her hair before turning to go back to the classroom and eat her own lunch.
Meanwhile I waited until she was out of view and then collapsed on the ground in a heap of satisfaction. I'd done what I set out to do. Yuki might possibly have forgiven me.
But I told her I was gay.
And that she might not forgive so easily. Knowing girls anyway.
The bell rang, ending the torment I was putting myself through. I had to go to class and save the problem with Yuki until the end of the day.
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"Yuki…" I sighed in relief upon seeing her slumped against the school wall, "You came."
She looked at me as I walked toward her. To my surprise a wave of nervousness washed over me. I slowed down, suddenly not sure if I really wanted to know how she would react to my confession; even after an afternoon to contemplate it. Unfortunately she was one of the peoples I didn't know well enough to read easily. I didn't know how she was feeling.
And then she looked away.
She didn't say a word. She didn't do anything to give me the slightest hint on what she was thinking or even if she could forgive me for what I might have put her through.
She just looked away and…left.
I couldn't move to go after her; I couldn't even bring myself to speak, to demand an answer, an explanation, anything. I just stared after her as she walked away. I just stared at where she left, seemingly rooted to the spot, until it took Naruto's annoyingly squeaky voice to make me come out of shock long enough to remember how to move me feet.
"What are you doing over there Shikamaru?" The blonde yelled from the other side of the school fence.
"Nothing." I mumbled, numbly shoving one foot in front of the other.
"You okay Shikamaru?" Choji asked in that concerned way of his.
I forced a smile, "I'm fine, just a little tired." I yawned to help my façade. Though I can't say I'm all that fine inside, using up all my brain's energy trying to understand Yuki.
I can't say that I think Choji believed me, there was still a gleam of concern in his eyes despite his smile. But he left it alone.
Good old Choji, you can always count on him. That was why I don't think he even has a rival, let alone enemies. One thing peoples love about, though I'm not sure they even notice it, is that he's so predictable. It's that very predictability that makes Choji so easy to be friends with.
Why can't girls be that easy to read?
Why can't they just let things go like Choji does?
Forgive and forget, you know…