Title : Misty

Rating : T

Disclaimer : I wish to god I owned them, and the story lines, but unfortunately I do not.

Summary : When Blair finds herself pregnant, she and Chuck must make a heart wrenching choice.

Time : Season 2, episodes 2x01 – 2x05. What if Blair had slept with Chuck in episode 2x03 after all?

Chapter 14 – Those Who Die

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity – Gilda Radner

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Nothing had been the same in over twenty four hours, ever since pulling the plug on Big Bart Bass it seemed that the world around them had just stopped spinning. To everyone one else it was just yet another high priced death, but to the socialites and big business men of Manhattan and the Upper East Side, his death was shock, and the start of the end of an era. Some had their speculations about how Bart died, maybe it was because of the economic recession or maybe it was suicide because of the daunting pressures. There were those who knew Bart wouldn't kill himself, and that what the media and news had said was true, he'd suffered a fatal stroke. All that was certain in the first twenty four hours of his death was that Lily was a widow, and although Chuck was nearly eighteen, he might as well have been an orphan.

Lily kept herself busy, the only thing she knew how to do during some a traumatic period, and Chuck he shut himself in, just as Blair had predicted in her head. Life as they all once knew it was so far from ever being the same again, Bart was gone, Bart was really really gone. Not just on some worldwide business trip that he'd be back from in a few weeks, this time he wasn't come home.

"Have you or Lily heard from him yet?"

Blair asked as she took a sip of her herbal tea, as her and Serena exited the coffee shop and headed towards the limo. She hadn't heard from him since they'd came home that night after the hospital, all any of them knew was that he was holding himself up inside his Palace suite. They'd all woken up to his bags packed and him gone, the simple call the Palace made my Nate confirmed that he was somewhere safe, although chances were not in the safest condition.

"We've tried his cell, we've tried his room...nothing. He's cut himself off from everyone at the moment."

"Just when things were getting perfect again, of course something has to come in and ruin it."

She didn't mean to sound so insensitive, but it just seemed to be the way things always turned out. As soon as they were just starting to get good again, everything would just fall apart, one incident would occur and bam! They were back in the same predicament they'd once been in. Much to ironic for her liking. She hadn't told a single soul about the proposal, nor had she brought it up to Chuck while they'd been in the hospital. She hadn't even had the time to say yes or no, but now with everything that occurred maybe that was a good thing after all? Maybe this was a sign that they weren't meant to be? She didn't like sounding so pessimistic, but with all that was against them, she couldn't help it.

"What I'm trying to get at is...Marry me Blair, marry me, and let us be a family, our own family"

"Maybe...Maybe I should talk to him? See if I can get through his head a little....try to convince him to go to the service?"

"Do you really think thats a good idea B?....You and the baby have been through plenty already, do you really want to add onto your stress? I don't think he could handle you two in the hospital now, after all this happened."

"S...when you were with Dan. Wouldn't you have done anything for him? Gone through anything? You might see Chuck as an arrogant son of a bitch, but you don't see him the way I do. He's different when he's not around everyone else, like a vulnerable child who is desperately looking for approval, and his fathers attention. He's not who everyone else thinks he is, he's not."

She wanted to believe Blair, she did, but she'd seen all the things he'd done to everyone around him, including Blair herself. He was her step-brother, least up until twenty four hours ago, she couldn't help but believe he'd do something to screw it all up. Something that would have Bart turning over in his grave before he even turned cold.

"Maybe your right B, but as your best friend and someone who's seen what he's done to you...I can't believe that he's really changed....that all this really isn't just some big facade that he's putting on to trick you."

"I might have gotten pregnant Serena, but I haven't gotten stupid. Don't you think I don't know that? The difference between me and you about all this, is I have faith in him. Do you have any idea what his childhood was like? How incredibly hard it was exactly to be Bart Bass's son."

Before Serena was able to answer, possibly even think about how to respond to Blair, Blair had turned and was quickly walking down the busy streets of Manhattan, not bothering to pay attention as her best friend called after her. She knew she shouldn't walk as far as she planned, but she didn't care. She needed time to clear her head and sort things out and she knew the one place that, that could be done.

XOXOXOXOXOX

She knew deep down that maybe it hadn't been the best idea to go to the Palace, going could possibly open up a can of worms she didn't even want to think about, none the less see. Standing in front of Chuck's suite she tempted just walking away, her first knock had been ignored followed by her second. She'd checked with the desk way in advance, and as promised they'd been watching him like a hawk at her request and he hadn't left, least not today. After another several seconds with no response at yet another knock, she gripped the door knob, not surprised to find it unlocked. Cautiously opening the door, she grimaced at the smell that surrounded the usual clean apartment. Alcohol, Cigarettes, dirty clothes, and even the small hint of Pot filled the room, and in the middle of it all lay Chuck on one of the couches, crystal tumbler in hand, filled with the all to familiar amber colored liquid.

"Chuck, really....we leave you alone for a little over twenty four hours, and this is what you do?"

Of course she didn't get a response from him, not that she expected one. All he did was take yet another swig of his drink, sometimes she swore that one day it'd all come back to bite him in the ass and he'd be an alcoholic. Resting her hand down on her stomach, she took a seat on the coffee table next to the couch he was laying across. It wasn't something she normally did, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

"Please don't do this Chuck, don't push me away like you are everyone else. Please don't."

He'd spent every minute since he'd left the apartment with alcohol in his system. He just wanted to feel numb, not feel any of what was going on around him. Not feel that he was now really alone in the world, step parents and siblings were nothing compared to the real thing, even if they weren't always the best. Bart was dead, and it was his fault. If he hadn't gotten so angry, if he hadn't said the things he'd said...maybe just maybe things could be different.

"Chuck please!....please don't do this, we all need you, you can't do this to yourself...to....us."

The us meant much more to her, then she was sure it did to him. Us, wasn't Lily and Serena, it was her and the baby. She didn't want him to bare it all alone, no matter how hard he pushed her away. Death was one of those tricky things that you were either ok with or your weren't, ninety-nine percent of the time you weren't, and this time was absolutely no difference, only worse. She'd seen how dark he could get, she didn't want to see it get that far again.

Standing up she moved over to the couch, sitting down on the edge of it so she could look down at him. Grabbing his free hand that wasn't holding alcohol in it, she placed it on her stomach, hoping against hope that the small movements their child was making would help convince them otherwise. Chewing down on her lip, a nervous tick she rarely did anymore, she watched him for a reaction, for any sort of life in his now lifeless eyes.

"Please Chuck...."

Bringing the tumbler to his lips, he downed the rest of the strong liquid then sat up, not once meeting his eyes with her. Getting off the couch, he walked back over to the bar pouring the rest of the bottles contains in the tumbler. Setting the glass down he looked at the bottle, one of his finest Scotches gone in less then a couple hours. Glaring at it he felt rage grow inside of him and before he knew it the bottle was slamming against the wall half way across the room.

"This isn't you Chuck, stop!"

Blair screeched as the bottle hit the wall, causing her to jump. She hadn't seen rage like this come from him, never where he'd get violent. For once she was truthfully scared of being around him, that maybe it had been a bad idea to enter the apartment by herself after all, that maybe she should have asked Serena come with her, even if they had gotten into a fight.

"This is me Waldorf....the real me."

He growled as he downed some more of the scotch, before turning around to face her.

"Life isn't perfect, compared to what all of you think...its not! None of you know what real pain is like, the kind that rips through you and pulls all the oxygen that you have in you out of you!"

Shaking, something she did rarely she got up slowly, picking up her purse. She wasn't sure if it was the alcohol talking, or actually Chuck, although she hoped it was the alcohol. Heading to the door, she tried to ignore the stare that was burning into her back as he watched her leave. She had to leave, if it had been just her, she would have been able to handle it, but it wasn't just her, the baby was her first and only concern she wasn't willing to risk its life again.

"If you need me...just....just call me. You know where I'll be."

Looking back for only a second, she sighed as she watched him then turned and walked out the door. She needed to give him space, he needed space, if he needed to work it out by himself then so be it. He'd have to do so by himself, she wouldn't play his games anymore, she just wouldn't.

XOXOXOXOXOX

Mishaps are like knives, that either serve us or cut us, as we grasp them by the blade or the handle. - James Russell Lowell