Chapter Fourteen: Alive
"And this is us on the slopes. I think this was day three of Fitz trying to teach me how to ski. And I'd like to say, that after day four I am a fairly good skier." Olivia showed Alex yet another picture on her camera from their vacation. She had been home for about two hours, and she was unpacking and showing Alex all the things she had got from her time in Aspen.
"I can't believe he got you on the slopes. I couldn't even get you on the ferris wheel at Coney Island."
"Yeah I know. But it isn't as bad as you would think, especially on the kiddie slopes. Because there was no way I was going on the other ones." Olivia pulled another sweater from her bag, refolding it to put in her drawers. The hotel in Aspen had washed all their clothes, so all she had to do was out them away.
"I don't remember you buying all these clothes before you left." Alex said, sitting on the bed with Pongo, watching Olivia unpack her clothes.
"That because some of these I got when I was up there. You know we were only supposed to stay the weekend, so Fitz and I both ran out of clothes. The hotel could've just washed the clothes we already had. But Fitz took us shopping instead."
"Speaking of you staying the weekend. Why exactly did I have to learn about you staying longer in a text message?"
"I tried to call, you didn't answer. I called mama."
"Whatever." Alex rolled her eyes, and flipped through a few more pictures in the camera Olivia gave her. "So what's you guys do?"
"Everything. We went sight-seeing, skiing, we went on carriage rides it was so pretty. We took in a few shows and ate out for dinner every night at a different restraint. I wanted to try them all before we left. Oh and I had the most amazing messages at the hotel spa. I never felt so relaxed in my life."
"Or so bare." Alex snickered, after she came across a picture of Olivia standing next to a hot tub in a skimpy little bikini. "I see someone is wearing the bikini I packed for them."
"Give me that." Olivia snatched the camera away from Alex, and turned the power off.
"What? You look hot in it."
"I had no intention of wearing that thing. But Fitz found it in my bag, and wanted me to put it on."
"I bet he didn't leave it on long you enough for him to appreciate it."
"Shut up. You supposed to be helping me unpack anyway."
"I am helping. I put away your shoes. So..."
"So what?"
"So stop holding out on me. How was the actually vacation, the one in the bedroom."
"Alex…"
"Olivia…"
"No, I'm not talking about this with you."
"I'm your sister. If not with me, than who?"
"No one. That's private."
"Oh please, I told you about my first time. And I always tell you everything about me and someone else."
"Yeah I know. Even when I beg you not to."
"Come on Olivia, you gotta give me something."
"No. What Fitz and I do behind closed doors is our business."
"You are such a square sometimes." Olivia shrugged her shoulders. "Well did you at least enjoy it?"
A small little smirk crept on Olivia's face as she thought about their first night and time, and the many nights that followed. She more than enjoyed herself this past week. She didn't think she would enjoy sex as much as she had. She'd always thought Alex was exaggerating, whenever she would tell her little stories. But now that Olivia had lived through some of it herself, she was a firm believer.
"I'll take that little smile as a yes."
Olivia blushed. "Enough about me. What have you been doing here all by yourself?"
"Oh you mean besides cleaning up after this mutt, nothing really. Except getting ready for the music fest. There's gonna be a lot of bands there, and I have to make sure we stand out."
"You'll do great. But that's all you did? I thought Patrick would be moved in here when I got back." Olivia joked, not knowing what happened between Alex and Patrick.
Alex sighed, "Yeah, about that. I kind of broke up with Patrick."
"What?" Olivia whipped her head back towards her sister. "Why, what happened? I thought you really like him?"
"I did."
"Then why'd you break up with him. That was the longest actually relationship you've had since college. What happened?"
"I went through his phone, actually his other secret phone. There was a bunch of numbers, all from other women, and I read his text messages. Some little hussy was texting him about him making her scream. Then she had the nerve to end it with a sideways smiley face. Like what the fuck."
"He was cheating on you? Did you ask him about it, what'd he say?"
"Well first he screamed at me, because I threw the phone at his head. Then he tried to lie his way out of it, even though he knew he'd been caught."
"I'm sorry Lexie." Olivia sat on the bed beside her sister, and wrapped and arm around her.
"It's cool. We had fun together, but I wasn't that attached. Give me about a week of being pissed, and I'll get over it."
"You sure you don't want to talk about it?"
"No, I really don't. I have to get going anyway. I'm supposed to meet the guys at the bar for rehearsal. So I better get going."
"Okay, see you later then."
X
Later that day, Olivia was in her 'studio' developing the pictures from her camera. She use to take them to a store to get them developed. But after she learned how to do it herself, she realized how relatively simple it was and thought it was sort of therapeutic. Since her studio downstairs was an old bedroom, it had a closet, a fairly big walk in closet. So she converted the small space so she could develop her pictures herself. The only thing in the closet was a two small tables, where her equipment was. She had some shelves on the walls, where she kept her portfolios of her other pictures. The ones she hadn't gotten framed to be sold. And there were some clothes line hanging on the walls, where she hung her pictures after she dipped them in the solution.
She had been at it for a couple of hours, and was finished with the majority of the pictures. She hadn't realized just how many pictures she and Fitz took. Fitz had brought his own camera, but he took pictures with both his and Olivia's camera. After she developed most of the pictures, she took them back to her little desk just outside the closet door in the room. She cut and cropped out the excess paper to her liking and put them into her portfolio or framed them. Olivia always had at least a box of frames somewhere, because she took pictures all the time. So she'd buy a bulk of them at a time, that way she always had them when she needed.
She was currently cropping a picture she took of Fitz. He was sitting on the balcony, reading the paper and drinking coffee. He hadn't realized Olivia was by the double doors taking his picture. She just thought he looked so relaxed and focused at the same time. It was a beautiful black and white picture, with the mountains as a back drop. He was sitting with his right leg over his left. He had his left arm propped up on the arm of the chair, his finger resting on his lips. And his glasses perched on the tip of his nose as he read the paper. It was too good of a picture for her not to take.
Most of these pictures, she was obviously keeping for herself. But most of the nature shots she took, she was going to sell. She had sold some nature shots in Val's store before, and they went rather quickly. But now she was going to hang them in Marcus's gallery. She hoped they were good enough for the type of clients Marcus had. They were a lot different from the people who came into Val's shop. She also had some paintings she needed to get to Marcus's gallery to be hung. She was nervous about whether or not her art would sell in Marcus's gallery, because she'd never hand her art there. Plus she wasn't that known yet. She'd only sold a couple of paintings, but nothing major.
She would like to have her art in several different galleries, but Marcus had an exclusivity clause in his contract. As long as she had her art in his gallery, she couldn't hang her work anywhere else. And although it was just a little glitch, Olivia knew Marcus's gallery was one of the top art galleries in New York City, and she knew this was a great way to get more publicity about her work. This was just the first step in getting her own gallery.
Her phone ringing beside her startled and Pongo form the looks of it. She answered it, after she saw the picture that came up. "Hey baby."
"Is it weird that I miss you already?"
Olivia smiled. "No it isn't, because I miss you too."
"I wanna see you, are you busy?"
"I am actually. I have to go to my parents to help my mom plan my daddy's birthday party."
"It's your dad's birthday?"
"Yeah, this Saturday. He'll be sixty-five."
"Wow."
"Yeah. So my mom's having his party this weekend, and she wants me and Alex to help her get ready. Just the little stuff though, only things we can hide from him. Anyway, he has a late class today, so this is the only day we can do it before the party. I should be leaving now anyway. I have to get to the station to catch a train to the suburbs."
"Well I guess I'll have to get a present for you to give to your dad from me. I know he's not exactly my biggest fan right now. Maybe this'll help my case."
"You can give it to him yourself on Saturday, because I want you to come with me."
"Really?"
"Yeah. You can meet my family again, in a better circumstance. I mean if you want to of course. It's not going to be just my immediate family. My cousins and ants and uncle will be there, and I don't want to overwhelm you so early. And-"
"Olivia, if you want me to come honey I'll come."
"Really? And you won't mind meeting all my family?"
"I don't mind. I'd love to."
"Thank you, thank you. I know my daddy will like you, he was just a little surprised last time. And also I was in the hospital, so he was tense. He really is just a big teddy bear."
"Well we'll see about that. What kind of present should I get him, what does he like?"
"He loves anything about music. Especially old music. His favorite is Stevie Wonder. And he likes to fish, although he sucks at it."
Fitz laughed, "I'll keep that in mind. You busy tomorrow?"
"Not really. I just have to go by the gallery and hang up some art, then I'm free. You can meet me there and we can have lunch."
"It's a plan. I'll see you then."
"Bye."
"Bye sweetheart."
X
Fitz used the elevator in the garage, so it stopped right in his apartment. He stepped off the elevator, and loosened his tie as he walked into the kitchen for a drink. He hadn't been home since he and Olivia got back to New York. After they left the airport, they drove to Olivia's house. Then he had to go straight to work. He'd put off meetings so he could extend his weekend with Olivia and now he had to get right back into work.
"Welcome back Mr. Grant." Ms. Betty greeted Fitz once he walked in the kitchen. She was wiping the counter top down with a sponge.
"Thank you."
"How was your week?"
"It was great."
"And did Ms. Pope enjoy herself as well."
"She had a blast. Already made me promise to take her back sometime."
Ms. Betty smiled. "I'm glad to hear. She's a great lady."
"That she is."
"Can I fix you something to eat?"
"No, I'm fine I ate at the office. You can take off if you want to."
"Thank you. I'll just finish here and head out. By the way sir your sister is here. She's upstairs in the spare room."
"Thank you." Fitz took his bottle of water and a handful of pecans that were in a bowl on the counter. He walked up the stairs to the spare room his sister always took whenever she stayed over. It had the third best view of the city, after the living room and Fitz's bedroom.
He heard her music before he even got to the door. He didn't even bother knocking, because he knew she wouldn't hear it. When he walked in the room, Tabitha was unpacking a suitcase into one of the drawers in the room. Apparently she intended to stay for a while. He noticed that she was a little frazzled, and seemed upset about something.
"Tabi."
Tabitha startled, and dropped the sweater she was folding. "Fitz, crap you scared the hell out of me." She put the sweater on the bed and went to hug Fitz. "Hey big brother."
"Hello. I wasn't expecting you, I would've came home earlier."
"Yeah, I know it's unexpected. Honestly I didn't plan on coming here until an hour ago." Tabitha turned the music on her iPod off, and went back to putting her clothes away. "Is it alright if I crash here for a few days?"
"You know it is. But you want to tell me what's wrong?"
"Nothing, why do you ask."
"Well for starters, you just show up here out of the blue. And you only packed one bag from the looks of it. I know you Tabi, you pack two bag for shoes alone. So you must've been in a hurry, and you seemed scattered."
Tabitha sighed. "I just needed to get out of mom and dad's for a while. I really should get my own place." Tabitha plopped down on the bed with her head in her hands. Fitz came to sit beside, and wrapped an arm around her. Tucking her into his side, like he use to so when she was little.
"What's wrong?"
"I fucked up."
"How?" Fitz asked. Tabitha sat up and grabbed her purse off the nightstand. She opened it and took out a zip lock bag. She put the bag in Fitz's hand, and waited. "They're all positive."
"You're pregnant?" Tabitha nodded tearfully. "Are you sure? I mean have you confirmed it with a doctor yet?"
"I have an appointment tomorrow. But I took five different tests and they're all positive."
"Who's the father?"
"A man I met in Italy. It was just a little fling, we didn't even exchange last names. He was the only man I slept with in Italy, and I haven't slept with anyone since I've been back. So he has to be the father. But of course I have no clue who he is."
"Is this why you left mom and dad's?"
"Yeah. They freaked out on me like I was sixteen and pregnant. I'm the one that should be freaking out. It's my career that's over." Tabitha started crying again.
"Tabi your career is not over. There are plenty of models who are mothers."
"I don't know what I'm gonna do. I can't be someone's mother. I don't even know if I like kids."
"Well first off, you can be someone's mother, and I'm sure you'd be great at it. But if that's not what you want, then you have choices."
"I don't want an abortion." Tabitha said quickly. She believed in a woman's right to choose, but she didn't think she'd ever be able to have an abortion.
"Okay. There's always adoption."
"But then I'll have a kid out there somewhere. I'll always be wondering about it. Wondering if its okay, did it find a nice home. I'll always feel guilty for giving my kid up. I don't know if I can live like that."
"Then what do you want to do Tabi?"
"I… I think I wanna keep it."
Fitz smiled. He had a feeling she would. "Then congratulations."
Tabitha laughed, and sunk back into his side. She always loved her big brother. Fitz could be a real ball buster at times, but he one of the biggest hearts she knew. "I can't do this by myself."
"You won't be by yourself. Your kid has two handsome uncles, one more good looking than the other…" Tabitha laughed. "And two grandparents who will love him. Or her."
"Thank you Fitz." Tabitha hugged his side, tears shedding down her face. Partly because she was still scared about what was coming. And mostly happy tears, because all she needed was the support she didn't get from her parents.
"I got you. Just don't expect me to babysit all the time. Once he learns how to walk, talk and can go the bathroom by himself, then I'll keep him as long as you want."
Tabitha laughed, "I'll keep that in mind."
X
"You know momma when you asked us to help, you get ready for daddy's party. I thought you actually meant help and not do all the work for me." Alex complained yet again. She and Olivia were at their parent's house 'helping' their mother. Alex was folding two different colored crepe paper together, so that when they hung it up on Saturday, it would be in a spiral. It sounds easy, but after a while it get tedious, annoying and your fingers start to cramp. Olivia on the other hand had the easier job. She was putting s'more treat bags together. It was their dad's favorite. It was a little clear bag with two graham crackers, some Hershey kisses, and some marshmallows. And they had a little card that read 'Thanks for making my birthday s'more fun' It was totally cheesy and her mother's idea.
"You just be quiet and finish those streamers. Your father should be here in about three hours and I want to have everything cleared and in the attic before he gets here."
"Don't worry, we'll have it done."
"And please don't forget, I need you two to pick up the cake and cupcakes before you get to the house Saturday."
"We won't forget."
"Oh and I'm getting the food for Uncle Troy to barbeque. I have a semi head count, because a few people haven't sent back if they were coming or not. But are you bringing anyone so I'll know if I have to buy more food."
"Fitz is coming." Olivia answered with a smile on her face. Alex and Dianna shared a look. "What?"
"Look how she blushes."
"Stop it."
"So how was your weekend?" Dianna asked.
"It was good. I had a lot of fun."
"Oh it was better than great. Wasn't it Olivia."
"Shut up Alex." Olivia hissed, kicking Alex under the table. If she was uncomfortable talking about sex with her sister. Then why would she want to talk about it with her mother.
"Olivia got her cherry popped." Alex said in a sing song tone. Adding an extra 'pop' at the end.
"Alex!"
"Honey it's nothing to be embarrassed about." Dianna said.
"I'm not embarrassed, it's just not something I want to talk about. With anyone."
"What, I told momma about my first time. But only because I thought I was pregnant, but I only had a stomach bug."
"Your father and I knew about it anyway, it was in her diary."
"What? You read my diary?
"Well it was only after your father read it and brought it to me."
"Daddy read my diary too?! That was private."
"Well it wasn't like we went looking for it. Daddy was fixing the bookshelf you and Olivia broke when you were doing cartwheels in you room. Anyway the cover to one of your books came off, and he saw it was your diary and not a book of poems."
"And he should've put it back. Why'd he read it?"
"Well he wanted to make sure you weren't or drugs or something. Baby you were a rebel child and a bit unpredictable."
"You guys are the worst. And just for this, I'm drinking daddy's beer." Alex stomped off towards the kitchen, leaving her laughing mother and Olivia alone.
"Olivia I know how private you are, and I'm not trying to pry. But I just want to know if you're okay after…"
"I'm fine momma."
"You sure?" Olivia nodded. "Was he gentle?"
Olivia smirked. "The first time."
"Livia, my baby."
"Don't make it weird momma."
"Okay, I'm done."
"And don't tell daddy either. I want Fitz to get on his good side. Their first meeting was less than great."
"Baby your father was stressed that day. His daughter was in the hospital after being attacked by some low life. I can't believe the cops haven't caught him yet."
"I know, but it's only matter of time. Hey did you ever read my diary?" Olivia asked, wanting to change the subject.
"No, but don't think your father didn't try. After what he read in Alex's, he needed to know that you were still a virgin."
"Gross."
"He never found it though. That weekend you and Alex spent at your friend's house, we looked everywhere in your room."
"Momma you two are insane. That was a complete invasion of my privacy."
"Honey you were a teenager living under my roof, you had no privacy."
"Whatever."
"Where'd you hide it anyway?"
"You remember those big stuffed bunnies grandma Rosa got us our first Easter?"
"Of course. Those things were five times as big as you two."
"Well they taught us how to sew on a zipper in home EC, and I sewed one onto the back of the bunny. It was big and fluffy enough for no one to notice when there was two, sometimes three notebooks in it."
"What was in those diaries that you had to keep it so hidden and private?"
Olivia shrugged with a smirk, "Guess you'll never know."
X
That night, after Olivia and Alex had left their parents' home. Olivia went back to her house to sleep, since it was late. While Alex left to go to a club and listen to some music. It was around eleven o'clock, but this particular club stayed open til' whenever. The owner didn't really have a set open and closing time, sometimes he even stayed open twenty-four hours. Late at night and the wee hours of the morning was when the crowd got bigger. A bunch of people with nothing better to do than drink, dance and listen to some live bands. It was different from the club Alex sang at. Juelz was more like a poetry bar, it was very laid back and chilled.
Alex walked in the club, after walking past a sea of people out front. Smoking everything but cigarettes. She took a seat at the bar on one of the bar stools. She ordered a beer and waited for the next performance. After a while a short, bald, white man walked on the stage. He was shirtless, in a pair of black leather pants and a silver chain around his neck. He announced the next performer, and the small stage lights dimmed. Which were the only lights in the dimly lit bar.
Alex smiled, when Quinn walked out on the stage in a spike studded bra, short black skirt, fishnet stockings, black boots and her purple guitar. It was so Quinn.
I was born in a thunderstorm
I grew up overnight
I played alone
I played on my own
I survived
Hey
I wanted everything I never had
Like the loves that comes with the light
I wore envy and I hated that
But I survived
Alex had always loved Quinn's voice. She didn't speak with an accent, but for some reason when she sang she had an accent. Quinn had no idea how to explain the change in the voice, but it worked for her. She also had this rasp to her voice that worked for her too.
I had a one way ticket to a place where all the demons go
Where the wind don't change
And nothing in the ground can ever grow
No hope, just lies
And you're taught to cry in your pillow
But I survived
I'm still breathing, I'm still breathing
I'm still breathing, I'm still breathing
I'm alive
I'm alive
I'm alive
I'm alive
Quinn didn't normally sing in high octaves, but Alex loved when she did. She couldn't seem to stop smiling as she completely forgot about her lukewarm beer behind her. She hadn't spoken directly to Quinn in weeks. They mostly spoke over the phone and texts. She was looking forward to catching up with her tonight.
I found solace in the strangest place
Way in the back of my mind
I saw my life in a strangers face
And it was mine
I had a one way ticket to a place where all the demons go
Where the wind don't change
And nothing in the ground can ever grow
No hope, just lies
And you're taught to cry in your pillow
But I survived
I'm still breathing, I'm still breathing
I'm still breathing, I'm still breathing
I'm alive
I'm alive
I'm alive
I'm alive
You took it all, but I'm still breathing
You took it all, but I'm still breathing
You took it all, but I'm still breathing
You took it all, but I'm still breathing
You took it all, but I'm still breathing
I had made every single mistake
That you could ever possibly make
I took and I took and I took what you gave
But you ever noticed that I was in pain
I knew what I wanted, I went in and got it
Did all the things that you said that I wouldn't
I told you that I would never be forgotten
And all in spite of you
And I'm still breathing, I'm still breathing
I'm still breathing, I'm still breathing
I'm alive (You took it all, but I'm still breathing)
I'm alive (You took it all, but I'm still breathing)
I'm alive
I'm alive
X
"That was so amazing! I think I was the loudest one cheering for you." Alex gushed, as Quinn walked up to her at the bar. She had finished her set, and was now on break.
"I think you were." Quinn hugged Alex, poking her with the spike on her bra.
"Ouch! Cute bra, but it's a safety hazard."
"Sorry, sometimes I forget I have it on." Quinn sat down on the stool next to Alex's. She ordered a gin and tonic and lit a cigarette. "So…"
"So." Alex repeated.
"So, what are you doing here? Last time I checked, your boyfriend Patrick had you on a pretty tight leash. You haven't come to one of my shows in weeks."
"Well firstly, he didn't have me on any leash. I'm a grown woman I do what I want."
"Oh so it was your decision to cut me off?"
"I didn't cut you off Quinn, I just stopped sleeping with you. We still talked. We still hung out."
Quinn took a sip of her drink, "Yeah, until your control freak told me to stay away from you."
"What?" Alex asked, she had no idea what Quinn was talking about. She wasn't even aware Patrick and Quinn and said more than two words to each other.
"Yeah, I came to one of your shows. And when you went backstage, I waited for you, but your boyfriend came up to me and told me to leave. He said he didn't appreciate the looks I gave you, or how much time we spent on the phone together. Honestly I found the entire conversation funny, but then he kept going and I started to get pissed off. So I just left, I didn't want to make a scene."
"I'm sorry Quinn, I had no idea he did that."
Quinn shrugged. "It's cool, don't sweat it. Where's he anyway, does he know you're here with me?"
"Well I don't really care whether he does or doesn't. And you can stop calling him my boyfriend."
"Really?"
"Yes really, and you don't have to look so happy." Alex said. Quinn was currently smiling and not even hiding it. Hearing Alex and Patrick were no longer together was like music to her ears. She tried to act cool, when she and Alex really broke up, but Quinn was hurt. She felt deeply for Alex, even if Alex didn't reciprocate it back all the time. And despite all their drama together, Quinn still wanted to be with Alex.
"I'm sorry."
"No you're not."
"No, I'm not. But I am sorry if you're sad about it. We can, we can talk about it I guess. Although it would be extremely weird for the both of us."
Alex laughed, of course it would be. But honestly didn't want to talk about Patrick any way. He was already getting on her nerves, blowing her phone up. "Yes it would, so no thank you. That's not what I came here for anyway."
"Oh so you do want something." Quinn smiled.
"Yes, I wrote a song."
"Fun." Quinn took the little notebook Alex gave her.
"Yeah, and I need help with the arrangement and the music. We're supposed to be singing in the music fest this year-"
"Oh right, I heard. Congrats."
"Thanks. So we were practicing another song I wrote, but now I'm starting to rethink it. It's a slow tempo song and now I think we should do something up beat that people can dance to. You know something that will make them remember us."
"So you wrote this song? It sort of feels like a break up song." Quinn said, as she read the lyrics. "Is this about Patrick?"
"Sort of, yes and no. It's a collection of a bunch of people I've… encountered in my life. I'm speaking to all of them."
"So you want me to write some music for this?" Alex nodded. "Why me?"
"Because I want this song to be different from anything free spirits ever done before, you know reinvent us a little. Please." Alex pouted, knowing how cute Quinn thought she was when she did it.
"You don't have to pout okay, suck your lip back in. I'll do it."
"Yeah!" Alex jumped off her stool and hugged Quinn tight, immediately letting her go, when her bra poked her again. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."
"You knew I was gonna say yes, you don't have to act so surprised."
"I still want to thank you."
"Well I know a better way you can thank me."
"And you say I'm the nasty one." Alex playfully shoved Quinn. She missed this, just joking around, being silly and having fun with her friend. She missed Quinn. "I missed you. I missed hanging out, and doing stupid shit together."
"I missed you too." Quinn squeezed Alex's hand affectionately. Quinn knew Alex wasn't the kind of person who shared their feelings a lot. She definitely didn't wear her heart on her sleeves. But she knew that Alex had just as much feelings for her and she had for Alex. Even if she wasn't able to admit it yet.
"You busy?" Quinn asked.
"Why?"
"Let's get out of here and go have some fun."
She didn't have to ask twice. Alex paid her tab and took Quinn's outstretched hand. She had no idea where they were going, or what they were about to get into, but quite frankly she didn't care.
X
Catch You Later…
Song: Alive- By Sia.