Fooling Ourselves

Chapter 14: Here With You

A/N: This is going to be my last update for a while. I'm leaving for vacation tomorrow and I won't be back until the end of next week. I think I'm almost done with this story but we'll see. I hope you enjoy.

Her eyes were closed when he entered the room. He pulled a chair up by her bedside and sat down, bouncing Zack lightly as he watched Olivia. Her face looked peaceful though he was sure it had to do with the medication being pumped through the IV. His eyes moved from her face to her slowly rising and falling chest. He smiled "Your mom's a fighter," he told Zack in a quiet, reverent tone.

"Yeah," Olivia mumbled as she opened her eyes "I've got the bullet wholes to prove it," she chuckled dryly. She reached for the controls on the side of the bed and raised her head slightly "Hi," she smiled softly at Elliot and Zack. The former smiled back while the latter waved wildly and tried to wriggle onto the bed.

Elliot laughed and, careful of Olivia's wounded side, placed the squirming child in his mother's arms "We were worried about you," he told Olivia.

Olivia's eyes filled with tears as she hugged Zack. There had been moments when she had thought she'd never get to hold her baby boy again. She smiled at Elliot, glad to see that he was okay. She knew that they needed to talk; there were a lot of things that needed to be said but now, she was just happy to be near him. Something about his presence made her feel safe. "Thanks for brining him," she smiled up at Elliot.

"No problem," Elliot said, scooting his chair even closer to the bed and unable to help smiling when Zack looked at him and giggled, bouncing up and down on his mother's stomach.

"Oh," Olivia gasped as Zack slid to one side and his full weight landed on her bandaged wound.

Elliot reached out and grabbed the little boy instantly "You've gotta play nice with Mommy," he told him as he lifted Zack off of Olivia entirely. He turned his attention back to Olivia "Are you okay?" he asked "Should I get a nurse?"

"No," Olivia said with a half smile that attempted but failed to conceal the agony on her face "It's fine."

"Liv," Elliot gently pressed; he knew she was lying.

"It's okay," Olivia repeated and as she said it, the pain really did dissipate.

Elliot bounced Zack in his lap again as he watched Olivia carefully "You're sure?" he asked. His concern was obvious.

"It's fine," she said once more "Elliot, it was just a little bump, it was nothing."

Elliot nodded, deciding that she was really, as she had said several times already, fine "I should probably go," he said, standing up.

"What?" Olivia asked.

"There's a line of people waiting to see you," Elliot explained "I'm just the first and I'm sure the others would like to see for themselves that you're alright so they can go home and get some sleep."

"They can wait," Olivia said, not ready to let Elliot walk away from her "You can stay a few more minutes."

Elliot laughed and sat back down "Okay," he conceded "But if Simon asks, it was your idea."

Olivia laughed "It was my idea," she stated plainly "Besides, why are you worried about what to tell my little bother? Are you afraid he'll kick your ass?" she smirked.

"He might," Elliot shrugged.

Olivia laughed so hard that she gasped in pain again "I'm fine," she said quickly when Elliot leaned forward. She took a few deep breaths and the pain lessened once again "For some reason," she told him, being careful not to burst out laughing again "I find it hard to imagine him kicking anyone's ass, let alone yours."

Elliot smiled. The two of them sat in silence for a few moments as Zack peered around the room at all the different machines and made little burbling sounds of amazement.

Finally, Elliot remembered something "Olivia?" he began quietly.

"Hmm?" she replied.

"Why did you want me to take care of Zack?" he asked.

She became very quiet for a long time and for a moment, Elliot wondered if he shouldn't have asked. "It's complicated," she finally said.

"Try me," Elliot countered her vague statement.

Olivia sighed but answered anyway "You know me," she said as if that was enough of an answer.

"So…?" Elliot pressed gently.

"If I was going to die," she clarified "I wanted him to know who I was. Simon is a good father to Charlie but no matter what, he'll never know me as well as you do. It seems selfish," she laughed a bit "But I don't want Zack to only know the nice things that Simon knows."

Elliot nodded "That doesn't seem selfish," he assured.

Olivia smiled "Thanks," they fell into silence again. It was a long time before Olivia spoke again. She thought about the experience she had had when she was in surgery. She barely believed it herself and she knew that Elliot, while continuing to appear supportive on the outside, would chalk it up to a side affect of the anesthesia. Still, she couldn't get it out of her mind.

In his apartment the night before, Elliot had bared his soul to her. They had kissed, twice and yet she still hadn't told him what she had been thinking since the moment she'd seen him on her doorstep, what she had been thinking when she had knocked Nash to the ground. She'd promised she wouldn't run away but she still hadn't said the words that had been begging to be said. She took a deep breath, clearing her throat "Elliot," she began softly and when she was sure that she had his full attention she continued "I never stopped loving you either."

Elliot smiled, leaned forward and kissed her softly "I was hoping you felt that way," he admitted.

Olivia smiled "Always," she whispered.

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O'Halloran looked at the evidence from Elliot's apartment. There wasn't a lot; there were no fingerprints, at least none belonging to anyone who hadn't already been there. He sifted through everything that had been bagged and came across a bright pink piece of paper. It hadn't seemed important at the time but now that he looked closer at it, he saw writing clearly visible.

He pulled on a pair of gloves and removed the paper from the bag so he could see it better. He read the note and reread it three more times. He stared at the paper in disbelief. The person who had broken into Elliot's apartment hadn't intended to hurt anyone, that was obvious now.

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Downing stood in computer crimes with Chester and Morales. The three men stared at a computer screen. "Amazing," Downing remarked.

"She would never have known what it was," Morales quietly "No one would have suspected unless they knew what to look for."

"This is incredible," Chester said, looking at the screen "The DA's office is going to be very busy."

"We've been looking for evidence on these guys for years," Downing said.

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"I have to go," Kathleen said as her father walked back into the waiting room with Zack over one shoulder "I have an exam today."

"You didn't get any sleep last night," Elliot pointed out the obvious "Can't you take it some other time?"

"I don't think so," Kathleen told him "My professor's a real hard ass about that kind of thing," she gave him a quick hug before walking quickly out of the hospital.

Elliot turned to Simon "Your turn," he smiled.

Simon nodded and turned to his wife "Why don't you take Charlie home?" he suggested, looking at the drowsy boy still slumped across the couch "I'll be there soon," he gave her a quick kiss and turned down the hall.

Lucy gently prodded her son "Come on sweetie," she cooed.

Charlie sat up "Is Aunt Olivia okay?" he asked as Lucy helped him put on his coat.

"She's gonna be just fine sweetheart," Lucy told him comfortingly "Now let's go home and get you into bed."

"Okay," Charlie mumbled, standing up and stumbling forward sleepily right into Elliot's legs "Sorry," he murmured as his mother picked him up.

"No problem," Elliot smiled at the boy as he and his mother left. He walked over to where Maureen and the rest of the kids were sitting. He handed Zack to Maureen "You should probably get these guys home," he said, looking down at Rose who looked very unhappy with the noisy hospital and it's bright lights.

"Okay Dad," Maureen said "But what about you?"

"I'm gonna stay here a little while longer," Elliot confessed. Tired though he was, he didn't want to leave just yet.

"Okay," Maureen yawned and Dickie grabbed the keys from his no longer alert sister.

"I'll drive," he said firmly. They didn't need anymore near misses today. The group left the waiting room chatting with one another about who was the better driver.

Elliot sat down and looked around the waiting room. Munch, Fin, Cragen and Casey were still there. "Shouldn't you be getting to work?" he spoke directly to Munch, Fin and Casey.

"Shouldn't you," Munch countered.

"Personal day," Elliot shrugged nonchalantly.

"Uh-huh," Casey said slowly "You think Downing will by that?"

"He's gonna have to," Elliot made himself more comfortable in his chair "But he won't believe it from all of us, so you two," he pointed at Munch and Fin "Should really get going."

"Alright," Munch said grumpily, standing up "But I'm officially going on record that I'm not happy about this shabby treatment."

Fin smacked his partner on the arm "Let's go," he smirked. He turned back to Elliot "We'll probably be back this afternoon."

"Okay," Elliot said "See you then."

"Let's go cover his desk with trash," Munch grumbled.

"Grow up," Fin told him as they walked out of the hospital "Besides, the damn thing's already buried in files. Give him a break."

"What about you?" Elliot asked Casey.

"It's Sunday," she shrugged "I have nothing better to do." She sat down in the seat next to him "At least until those two get Fisher to either talk or lawyer up."

"Fisher?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah," Casey nodded "They've got him at the precinct. When the SWAT team got to his office, he gave himself up without a fight."

"Coward," Elliot muttered bitterly. Part of him had been hoping that Fisher had done something stupid enough to get himself shot it the head, God knew the bastard deserved it.

Simon reappeared "She's exhausted," he told Elliot, Casey and Cragen "The doctor thinks that she should get some rest before she has anymore visitors."

All three shrugged and stood up. Elliot decided he should grab something to eat while Olivia got some sleep. He noticed Simon tugging his coat on and walked over to the other man "You need a ride?" he asked.

"Sure," Simon said and the two men walked out to Elliot's car. Neither one of them noticed the man lurking in the shadows, watching them.

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Elliot returned to the hospital within only a few minutes to find Olivia's doctor in the waiting room looking for him. Elliot was instantly on edge "What's wrong?" he asked desperately.

"Nothing," the doctor assured "She woke up and was a little disoriented. She's been asking for you."

He led Elliot down the hall to Olivia's room. She was in bed, crying. Elliot walked over and gently wrapped his arms around her "Hi," he said softly, smiling as he kissed the crown of her head.

Olivia clung to him and smiled through her tears "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"No, no," Elliot soothed "Don't be," he told her even though he wasn't sure what she was apologizing for.

Olivia wiped her eyes with the back of her hand "Bad dream," she said as way of explanation.

Elliot pulled up a chair and sat down beside the bed, holding her hand "Don't worry," he told her "I'm here."