Chapter 14

Sorry for the wait on this one guys! But I hope you enjoy it please enjoy ?

I make my way towards them in a daze my shock at seeing them being overcome by the fact that my mamma is here, and I've missed her desperately.

I sit down across from them and immediately I notice the stiff way my mamma is sitting, as if the very effort it's costing her to breathe is too much. That's when I look at him, and see the maniacal gleam in his eye.

'mamma' I ask softly as if to reassure myself that she's there and she's okay.

'My baby' she says softly back her eyes watering in happiness .

'Are you okay?' I ask not even meeting his gaze, staring into her eyes and hoping that it's not what I think.

'Your mother knows her place Alexandria, she knows to stand beside me' He says back his voice imposing in the space and I see my mother finch at it.

My anger is blinding, and I switch to Italian, speaking rapidly so that my father won't understand his Italian basic and after forbidding my mother to teach me I know he won't be suspecting it. Only one of the well-kept secrets between me and her.

'Why are you with him, what has he done to you!' I screech more passionate in this language then in English.

'I fell in love with him a long time ago baby, and then we had you and I couldn't leave then not without leaving you' she croons softly back begging me to understand.

'you could have taken me with you, we could have been happy just us. Leave him now he's not worth the shit on your shoes' I beg angrily.

'Your father would have killed me if I tried to leave sweetheart, and now it's too late' she whispers a tear leaking from her eye as she grabs my hands, the soft weight of them reassuring.

'STOP' my father declares loudly his eyes dancing between us his gaze murderous.

'you should never have taught her to defy me this way' his voice like a snake, so silky with tightly controlled rage.

I look at my mother then at the way she has gone almost deathly pale, her posture so rigid it looks as though it's painful to maintain.

'Stop it, you think you're so tough because she's scared of you because she's weaker. It makes you pathetic you could never stand up to someone your own size' my eyes grow watery in frustration.

'Like you, you're smaller than her and you used to scream just as sweetly' he whispers silkily.

'I'm stronger now I could crush you, your weak' I say my voice strong and unbending my tears forgotten 'And one day she'll leave you, you'll be all alone with nothing but your disgusting thoughts'

'Haven't you heard figlia' he sneers the last word lacing it with distain. (daughter)

'Bambino it wasn't supposed to be like this' my mother says crying softly, her face beautiful even through the torment she's clearly experiencing.

'Your mother è incinta'(is pregnant) he croons to me laughing 'she'll never leave me, and maybe this daughter will learn to be obedient!' he bares his teeth at me in a snarl.

My whole world stood still, I would be a sister and this monster would have another chance to subjugate a child to make them cry in fear and pain. Watch their mother be beaten mercilessly.

I looked at my mother then saw the fear the helplessness and knew what I had to do I switched to Italian again so the bastard wouldn't understand me and said ' You will wait for me Mamma, and I will fix this for you. I give you my promise, this cycle won't be repeated' she smiles sadly at me as I stand up to walk away, to begin to plan.

I see the disbelief in her gaze and I can't help but say 'La famiglia prima di tutto' she smiles again as she repeats it back to me 'Family above all baby'

Then without another look another word I stand up and leave, refusing to glance back knowing that I'll murder him right here in front of everyone for even one more smarmy comment.

I stalk past other parents and initiates, I see them all in a daze as I make my way towards the door the blood roaring in my ears, and I know he's done this on purpose, so I know the consequences of disobeying.

I want to spar, and I need to do it with Eric to have the desired effect to get rid of this tension I feel humming in my blood.

Stalking towards the mess hall steel in my eyes I head to the leaders table, one though playing in my head get to Eric.

I feel people looking at me someone tries to talk to me, but I keep walking. Until I get to the food hall, I immediately look up to the leaders table and as soon as I meet those eyes of steel he's on his feet heading towards me glaring his tray abandoned his conversation abandoned he stalks towards me lethally.

I'm stopped in my tracks, looking into his eyes keeping me grounded giving me the relief I need to hold me over until we can spar, until I can work of this anger, it feels like it takes him an eternity to meet me.

But when he get there the relief is sweet, he doesn't touch me careful to keep his distance.

'What do you need' he growls his eyes travelling my body checking for physical injures.

'training room' I whisper my rage strong but my voice weak.

We depart in silence walking quickly, avoiding everyone until we finally reach the training room. Stripping off my jacket Eric follows suit as we head over to a mat.

'Take it easy Lexi, I'm not going to let you use that side when it's only just started healing' he says his words soft but his voice strong.

'I need this Eric' I say determined gritting my teeth through the stretches.

'We stick to upper body work, no going to the mat and no using your legs. Or we don't do this' Eric says.

I growl in frustration, but I don't really want to injure myself any further and as long as it helps me channel this ceaseless anger then I don't care anymore. Throwing a lazy swing we're off, blocking and dodging our pace fast.

We keep going for what feels like hours, sweat leaks from my every pore my mind completely absorbed on the task of not letting one of Eric's mammoth fists touch me, my arms aching with exertion my legs aching from standing up for so long.

Eventually I can't take it anymore I fall on my bum with a soft plop, bracing my arms on my legs breathing heavily.

'I'm done' I wheeze to Eric.

He plops down in front of me mirroring me although without the same amount of sweat or heavy breathing, instead he has a light sheen of sweat on his forehead his breathing unsteady but not too irregular.

'Feel better?' he asks and I'm overcome with emotion that he's just taken all of this time to spar with me, no questions not stopping until I was ready to stop. It makes me suddenly so emotional.

'Thank you' I whisper back my eyes tearing up, my anger suddenly gone replaced with this sense of utter helplessness.

I look up to see Eric staring at me his eyes angry as he wipes a tear away from my cheek, he pulls me forward and onto his lap so I'm straddling his thighs my back against his knee's as he forces my head onto his neck.

I cling to him gratefully finally letting my tears of frustration and powerlessness flow, wrapping my arms around his neck desperate to pull him closer to me, just to hide here for a while warm and safe.

Eventually my tears die down, and it's just me and Eric his arms tight around me my arms desperately clinging to him.

'My mamma is pregnant' I whisper into his shirt feeling his arms tense around me for a moment in recognition of my words as he says nothing waiting for me to go on.

'One of my first memories is being woken up in the night by a loud noise, I get out of bed and toddle out of my room…' I hesitate then scared to tell Eric this shameful secret.

'I followed the whimpers to the bathroom, she could barely move her back and her ribs were black and blue, blood was over her thighs' I whisper taking a deep breath.

'The worst part is when she saw me, she jumped up as though electrocuted springing up and ushering me back to my room grabbing a robe and smiling at me telling me everything was alright. She made me some warm milk and tucked me into bed stroking my hair until I was convinced everything was alright, and I let myself fall back to sleep safe in my mother's bruised arms' I trail of slowly feeling Eric's body tense and coiled beneath me.

'I have to fix this' I murmur drawing back to look at his eyes.

'It's not your job to fix this' he says quietly his eyes burning in rage, and I realise that he knows who damaged my ribs.

I get off his lap then taking a step back, he doesn't understand but my mum did her best with me and now she'll be stuck all over again with my sibling because I left her there, with him.

'Thank you, I'm okay now' I say seriously avoiding eye contact and going through my options, tomorrow is the first day of fights and so I focus on that instead.

I need to get a shower and put some more cream on to make myself feel more human, and now that I've worked out my aggression I can think clearly again and I realise that for now at least, there is nothing I can do for my mamma.

I'll have to wait until I finish initiation in a month, and then I'll sneak back to erudite and take care of my father.

'Lexi you need to put some more cream on' he says standing up.

We walk out together me following Eric, we walk for ages and I realise we're heading back to the dorms not Eric's place the crushing weight of rejection comes over me, but I force myself to remain silent.

We've been together practically all day every day and if he wants some space I can't be mad at him for that, even if emotionally I'm still raw from my earlier confrontation. Even if all I want is to snuggle up with him in what I've come to think of as our bed.

He stops outside the dorms and I turn to thank him when he interrupts me.

'Get your stuff I'll wait' leans against the wall, typing away on his tablet again.

Tears come to my eyes then, as I realise he's not rejecting me but rather he wants me comfortable and that we're going back to his apartment.

I can't help myself I fling myself at him hugging him tightly one of his hands squished between us still holding his tablet, the other he manages to free bring it round my waits and holding me back.

I draw away slowly reluctant to leave the warmth of his embrace, then before I can change my mind I quickly slip into the dorms grabbing a bag to pack some essentials.

I have a quick chat with some of the other just letting them know I won't be back tonight, and after a few symoathetic glances and numerous hugs one which including sabby whispering in my ear that we're family now I finally leave.

Finding my gentle giant ready for me.

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