Yet another chapter filled with dialogue... only this time its in capitals! hows that for variety?! I'm a genius! ha ha ha... I've eaten too much sugar... typing! now! I'm not going to bother putting the disclaimer in anymore. i think any copyright person reading this will have got the message by now that I don't own d. gray-man. hopefully none of you are going to be too offended by that. if you are then i'll put it in again... enjoy!
"Komui! Komui! Supervisor wake up!" Reever sighed dejectedly.
Waking Komui was a lot harder nowadays. Before, you just had to say 'Lenalee's getting married' and the effect would be instantaneous. However since she really was going to get married in the foreseeable future, it didn't work so well anymore.
"Hey Russell, how did you wake up Komui yesterday?" Reever asked the man as he passed by with a mountain of paperwork.
"just tell him Lenalee's gone into labor. That usually doe the tri-"
"NOOOOOO!! LENALEEEE! IT'S TOO EARLY! HOLD ON!! BROTHER WILL HELP!!"
"Ah… he heard you, thanks anyway Russell."
"Anytime Reever" And the man continued to his desk with his paperwork.
"Komui, you have a phone call." Reever said handing the supervisor the phone.
"Huh? Oh, thank you Reever" He said taking the phone.
"Helloooo? This is Komui speaking, may I ask who desires one of my fabulous robots?"
"You haven't changed…."
"Mamoruuuuuu! What a pleasant surprise! Do you wish to enquire about the price of Komurin XVII?"
"No… We have selected the new General."
"You mean your doing your job?"
"because if not we'll have to do more work in the future."
"So? When do you want to promote Allen?"
"Well in that's what I called to ask you abou- wait, how'd you know it was him?"
'I didn't think he was that sharp…'
"the only person who doesn't suspect such a thing is Allen himself. Everyone else has been gossiping for months. Even the Chinese branch. You people really should get out more…"
"that would mean working."
"So what did his daddy dearest have to say? I'm guessing he didn't care… you should have called Klaud instead if you wanted an argument to pass the time you know…"
"hmm… yes that's what Takeshi sai- HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?!"
"It's amazing what you overhear in the dining hall. At least that's what jerry tells me…"
'hmm… suspicious. I'll have to tell Takeshi he may be onto something there… maybe we should keep an eye on that cook…'
--40 MINUETS LATER--
Komui slammed the phone onto it's holder, and for once seemed to be taking his job seriously. He turned to his co workers who - upon seeing his slightly lees childlike expression - immediately snapped to attention.
"Reever please contact the Branch Heads and tell them I'm holding a meeting. Tell them to notify any exorcists in their region and ask then to return to the black order as soon as possible." Reever nodded
"Johnny, fix up the P.A. system… I have a feeling were going to need it soon. And tell jerry the he'll need to stock up on supplies."
'we have a P.A. system? I didn't know that' Johnny thought.
"You!!" Komui pointed to one of the other workers "Alert the staff and tell them to give the main hall and the spare rooms a serious cleaning. And I mean not a speck of dust."
"Y-Yes sir!" the boy, obviously a newbie, saluted as Komui continued to bark out orders.
--3 HOURS LATER--
Allen was sprawled out on one of the couches in the lounge - snoring. His head was using Lenalee's lap as a pillow as she kneeled on the sofa bowing bubbles with her gum doing some important fiddling with his hair. Kanda was seated on yet another sofa and was grudgingly allowing lavi to use his shoulder as a pillow whilst he glared at the redhead's mouse; whose cage was stationed on the coffee table.
He really didn't see why Lavi was so obsessed with the damn rodent. It squeaked too loud and made noises in his cage at night - keeping him awake. It bit him, it glared at him, used Mugen as a scratching post - it had even peed on his shoe. And yet, the stupid redhead couldn't go anywhere without the damn thing.
It was annoying.
But Kanda was too tired to bother squashing the damn creature; Lenalee, due to the development of the children currently taking up residence inside her, was not getting much sleep. Her unborn children were making sure of that. So despite the bean sprouts (useless) attempts to calm her down, she had been issuing death threats to anyone and everyone all day. Though she eventually calmed down when Lavi gave her a new type of bubblegum to vent her anger on (which was what she was doing now). He hadn't even wanted to help calm her down and he still suffered the consequences (he had been dragged along by the rodent-lover). And so he was exhausted. He was just about to fall asleep when…
"….IS IT…. IS IT ON? IS IT ON? I THINK IT'S STILL BROKEN JOHNNY! COME HAVE A LOOK AT IT… WAIT! IT OKAY! ITS WORKING NOW!"
"where did the Noah go?! don't let it get away!!"
"Noooooo! don't kill Yuu-Chan Yuu-Chan!!"
Allen and Lavi were jerked awake by Komui's voice as it echoed through the halls.
Kanda was consumed by an evil looking aura…
"so… you're dreaming about the damn-rodent now… doe you have something to say? Stupid Rabbit?"
"eeeeeeeeeee!! No Yuu-Chan! There's nothing going on! I don't like Yuu-Chan like that! He's just cute!!"
"Lavi…." Kanda began to unsheathe Mugen.
"You bastard Noah!! I'll kill you!! I'll kill you!!"
"Calm down Allen, there's no Noah."
"there's not? I thought I heard someone shouting…"
"that was you when Nii-San's voice woke you up"
"That's not what I meant Yuu-Chan! I meant I didn't like Yuu-Chan!"
"then what did you mean stupid rabbit?!" Mugen was now completely unsheathed.
Allen and Lenalee watched as Lavi backed away from an evil looking Kanda.
"I'm getting confused now… which Yuu is he talking about?"
"I'm not sure either… he really needs to rename that mouse." Lenalee agreed
"I meant I never even considered beastism! Yuu-chan is an animal for gods sake! That's plain wrong!
"then why are you so obsessed with that thing?! It keep glaring at me when no one's watching… like it knows I know its plotting something… its probably that Noah… that luluwhatsit… it'll murder us in our sleep"
"Yuu-chan… your jealousy had made you paranoid…"
"ALRIGHT, JUST TO LET YOU KNOW THIS IS THE P.A. SYSTEM THAT GOT BROKEN DURING THE AKUMA INVASION A FEW YEARS AGO. WE KIND OF FORGOT ABOUT IT -"
There was a large number of objection heard in the background
"I MEAN, I FORGOT ABOUT IT BUT IT'S FIXED NOW. ANYWAY WE FIXED IT BECAUSE WE HAVE A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE AND IT'S TOO MUCH HASSLE TO GET EVERYONE IN THE MAIN HALL."
Kanda and Lavi stopped fighting and began to listen to the impromptu airwave announcement.
"IN THREE WEEKS THE EXORCISTS CURRENTLY ON MISSIONS, BRANCH SUPERVISORS AND A FEW OTHER KEY FIGURES IN THE BLACK ORDER WILL BE ARRIVING HERE."
"Lavi… how many people is that?" Allen asked.
"471 to about 537... Depends on how many Komui mans when he says a few other key figures."
"I…I see… is there even enough space?"
"probably not, but we'll manage… probably… maybe.."
"THIS IS BECAUSE THEIR PRESENCE IS REQUIRED FOR THE APPOINTMENT OF THE NEW GENERAL. ALL EXORCISTS WILL BE TAKING PART IN TRAINING FOR THE EXAM. AS IS THE TRADITION ONLY MYSELF, THE GRAND GENERALS, AND THE GENERALS - EXCEPT KLAUD GENSUI SINCE SHE'S NOT BACK FROM HR TRIP TO RUSSIA YET - KNOW THE IDENTITY OF THE ONE BEING PROMOTED. ALTHOUGH I'M SURE YOU CAN GUESS IF YOU THINK HARD ENOUGH… IT'S FAIRLY OBVIOUS AFTER ALL"
At this point Lenalee, Kanda, and Lavi all turned their eyes to Allen.
"Wh-What? Why are you all staring at me?" He asked, flinching visibly under their gaze.
"GET TO THE POINT KOMUI!!" Reever yelled.
"FINE, FINE… ALL GENERALS WILL BE HELPING WITH THE MORE TECHNICAL DETAILS OF THE PLANNING, THEY WILL ALSO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR TRAINING EXORCISTS IN PREPARATION FOR THE EXAM. I KNOW WE'VE ALREADY CHOSEN THE NEW GENERAL BUT THE TRAINING WILL BE BENEFICIAL FOR EVERYONE, BESIDES ITS TRADITIONAL. AS SUCH CROSS GENSUI IS ALLOWED TO TAKE A BREAK FROM HIS PAPERWORK FOR A WHILE."
A roar of triumph echoed through the halls.
"LENALEE! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT GOING NEAR THE TRAINING HALLS!! YOU ARE TO STAY 15 FEET AWAY FROM THE TRAINING ROOMS AT ALL TIMES!! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?! ALLEN WALKER, IF MY DARLING SISTER IS ANYWHERE NEAR THOSE HALLS I WILL HOLD YOU PERSONALLY RESPONSIBLE!! DO YOU HEAR ME?! NOT EVEN TO SAY HELLO!! IF YOU WANT ALLEN TO BUY YOU BUBBLEGUM THEN JUST WAIT UNTIL HE FINISHES TRAINING BEFORE NAGGING HIM OR ASK ME!! OVER MY DEAD BODY ARE YOU EVEN GOING TO CONSIDER GOING INTO THAT ROOM!! DO YOU HEAR ME?! NOT EVEN FOR A MINUET!! ITS TOO DANGEROU-"
The airwave broadcast was terminated, probably by Reever of another member of the science department.
"seriously what's with the staring?" Allen asked, beginning to sweat
"Allen I know you're a bit slow sometimes but this is just taking the biscuit…" Lavi said snickering.
"wait… what do you…" realization dawned on him " you cant be thinking that…"
They nodded.
"who else is it going to be bean sprout? You're the only exorcist who's synch rate is always at 100" Kanda grumbled.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
"What's so bad about it Allen? You'll get tons of perks. You get paid for one thing… a bigger room… and that gold coat…" Lavi drifted of a he listed the benefits (in his opinion) whilst his white haired friend sank deeper and deeper into depression.
"I can't… master's… I'll get into debt again… That damn monkey… Zokalo will kill me for fun… he freaks me out… tie doll's pens… cant handle it… enough problems…"
"why does he assume all of the generals are bad? Two of them are his parents…" Lavi asked Kanda quietly
"You call Cross a father? How much worse could you get? And he doesn't know they're his parents. So shut up damn rabbit."
"but don't you feel guilty, not telling him? He really should know…"
"it's not our problem, and besides… I don't want to be anywhere near him when he finds out…"
"why?"
"would you want Cross as a parent?"
Lavi thought for a moment.
"good point. This is an obviously complex situation. I'm sure we would just confuse things."
"you mean your meddling would just cause more problems and I'd get dragged along despite my lack of interest." Kanda translated.
Meanwhile Lenalee was trying to bring Allen out of his depression.
"it might not be you Allen, there are other people who've gone past critical point… Lavi and Kanda have…"
"eh? We have?" Lavi asked, obviously wondering when such an incident occurred.
"yes, you have" Lenalee said in a 'play along or else' tone.
"I mean… yeah… a few times now… Even Krory-Kins had gone past critical once or twice…"
"you make him sound like a tin of parrot feathers"
"huh? Can? Parrot feathers?" Lavi's confusion was shared.
"it was an analogy for useless."
"I've done it!" Lenalee said, changing the subject "but I don't think it'll be me. I'll have my hands full with the kids when they come, wont I? I wont have time.
"you make it sound like I'm not going to help out at all… besides… you'd be better than me… I'll just up running away from master again…"
And so Lenalee succeeded in preventing Allen committing suicide. However just like everyone else at the black order; she knew that she was lying through her teeth.
During the three weeks leading up to the arrival of the branch heads and the other visitors the black order was a hive of activity. Exorcists who had been on missions in the various continents trickled back to the order. Jerry almost forced his new recipes onto Allen for taste testing - he was in charge of the meal that was supposed to accompany the promotion ceremony.
The hall where the afore mentioned ceremony was to take place was scrubbed to within an inch of it's life. As where the rooms that were to house the visitors during their stay, though some of the more abandoned ones had to have some reconstruction work .The science department was up to its eyeballs with paperwork and experiments that were 7 months overdue in an attempt to make the place seem tidier.
The only people who weren't helping with the general cleaning and preparation wee the exorcists and the generals. When they weren't helping to plan the more technical aspects of the ceremony itself the generals were responsible for training the exorcists for the 'exam'
Winters Zokalo, having no pupils of his own was responsible for training the disciples of the deceased Kevin Yeegar and the absent Klaud Nine - which consisted of Miranda and Krory. And he did not enjoy the job. He seemed to find Miranda's Innocence particularly irksome.
"what the hell is this thing? Doesn't it do anything?!" he asked a trembling Miranda angrily. "cant it make people die faster or erase their life or something? This watch CD is useless! How is this innocence?! What the heck do you do with this thing?!
"um… its name is Time Record…" Miranda said timidly.
"you cant even heal people! You just take their injuries away then give them back when they've got even more! How is that supposed to help?! It's just delaying the inevitable!"
Krory's innocence was just the opposite. He seemed fascinated by it.
"wow.. that's weird but its useful… can you use your teeth as darts? You know just pull one out of your mouth, throw it at an Akuma and suck some of the blood out that way? You could attack more than one Akuma at a time then…let pull one out and try it…" he activated his own innocence while the Romanian (or wherever Krory is from) paled in fear "come on… it wont hurt… much…"
As for the other generals, Froi Teidoll spent more time sketching his students than actually training them. Kanda refused to sit still and frequently yelled at the old man - making Marie wince at the noise level - whilst Chaoji ran about like a headless chicken calling for his beloved "Anita-Sama!"
As for Allen and Lavi, much to Allen's displeasure, they were assigned to Cross Marian. It didn't take Lavi long to understand just why Allen became either depressed or murderous when he recalled his time spent with his master. He already owed the general more than was in his bank account for being knocked on his ass so many times. Allen however was not in debt - yet.
Through out his training he had quickly learned that if he fell down once during these 'training sessions' he would have more debt to worry about. As such he had turned into a cat. Always landing on his feet. However , Cross was only using Grave of Maria, he had yet to use his accursed Judgment and it inescapable bullets.
That was more complicated.
As if reading his mind Cross deactivated Grave of Maria and brought out his equipment type innocence.
"If you don't block them, you're paying my debts" he said before firing the gun. Allen blocked the bullets with his sword of exorcism, sending them back towards Cross. Unfortunately they remembered their original course, and headed back towards Allen. For some reason they were moving faster now, and Allen didn't have time t block them with his sword. he closed his eyes, bracing himself for the impact…
Allen waited. When the feeling of bullet entering his body didn't occur, he risked opening one eye.
A giant monkey was crumbling the bullets in its hand.
'What the hell just happened?'
He turned to his right, giving his training partner an inquiring look. Lavi was staring at the monkey in shock so it was obvious he had as much information as Allen did. He looked to his master to find… fear… etched across his face.
"CROSS MARION I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING??"
Following the sound o the voice and direction of his masters gaze Allen turned to see an extremely pissed female General.
'oh crap… when did she get here?'
Cross had wondered when this would happen. Being in Russia (again), Klaud was not up to date on recent happenings of the order - since she never bothered to take a golem with her. As such she didn't find out until she arrived about Allen's sudden rise in the ranks.
And boy was she pissed when she found out. He'd get it later on, when Allen was out of earshot, but that didn't mean she wasn't going to vent. She obviously did not like his training methods.
He was dead.
Klaud was livid. To say the least.
Not only had that stupid idiot let their lazy-ass-bosses promote Allen he had done it without saying a damn thing to her! Idiot! Didn't she have a say in this? She was only his mother. Nothing much. Her opinion obviously counted for nothing. Not only had he forgotten to inform her of that key detail he was now attempting to kill the boy with his insane training methods. What the heck was wrong with him?!
"Now now Klaud… just calm down and I'll explai-
"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING USING JUDGEMENT LIKE THAT?!" she screeched, walking towards him menacingly.
"its fine… he's had worse… and he's used to Judgment…"
"WHAT?! ARE YOU SAYING YOU'VE USED IT ON HIM BEFORE?!"
Wrong choice of words.
"YOU STUPID IDIOTIC MALE!! HOW ON EARTH IS HE SUPPOSED TO BLOCK JUDGMENT?! EVEN (UNKNOWN GENERAL) HAS A HARD TIME WITH JUDGMENT!! HOW CAN YOU EXPECT AN EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD TO BLOCK IT?!"
"He doesn't have to block it, dodging counts as training as well…"
She began to whack him on the head continuously. Cross tried his best to fend her off but only managed to block about a quarter of her painful whacks to the head. If she had been a guy then she would already be facing his wrath, but he was not going to hit a woman. He wasn't that low (not to mention the fact she would just thump him right back - such as now). He had some morals. Not many, but some. Although if she had been a guy this wouldn't even be happening in the first place…
"YOU INSUFFERABLE IDIOT! NO ONE CAN DODGE JUDGMENT!! THE BULLETS FOLLOW YOU!! OR AM I MISTAKEN?!"
"No, you're not but-"
"SO YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO KILL HIM TO PASS THE TIME?!"
"Umm… Klaud Gensui… I'm fine… please stop shout-" Allen's attempt to break up their little tiff failed.
"of course not… calm down… and stop hitting me woman!"
"CALM DOWN?! CALM DOWN?! HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO CALM DOWN WHEN YOU ALMOST KILLED OUR SON??"
"It wasn't deliberate! He just didn't dodge or block fast enough!"
What? What did she just say? "excuse me, what did you just-"
"THATS NOT THE POINT YOU BUFFOON!! THE POINT IS YOU ALMOST KILLED HIM!! YOU DON'T EVEN ACCIDENTALLY KILL YOUR OWN SON!! YOU DON'T KILL YOUR SON PERIOD!! IT'S JUST NOT DONE!!"
"All right! All right! I'm sorry! I wont do it again!"
"WHY ARE YOU APOLOGIZING TO ME?!"
"You're his mother aren't you?!"
"EXACTLY! YOU ALMOST KILLED HIM NOT ME! APOLOGIZE TO ALLEN NOT ME YOU IDIOT!!"
"EXCUSE ME BUT WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY??"
Klaud stopped beating up the red haired general and turned to Allen.
"Pardon?"
"I asked if… what's going on?"
"I'm arguing, what does It look like I'm doing?"
"that's not what I meant! Why the hell did you say that that womanizer is my father? And why did he say you were my mother? What the heck are you talking about.??"
Klaud stared at him for a moment before she clapped her hand to her mouth in realization of what she had just said.
"This is your fault stupid woman" Cross grumbled. She punched him and turned back to the very pissed-off-and-confused white haired boy.
"Allen… I assure you there is a very, very, very good explanation for all of this…" she racked her brains trying to think of one.
"really?" the boy asked her menacingly "do tell…"
"it's… um… APRIL FOOLS!!"
Lavi who had been struggling to contain his laughter for several minuets, could no longer control him self. He and cross hooted with laughter at he words April fools. Klaud quickly realized her poor choice of words and was about to explain but the look on Allen's face told her he was not in the mood at the moment. Even so, she had to try.
"Allen, clam down for a moment and I'll explain-" she was cut off when one of the stone pillars in front of the entrance exploded. Lavi stopped laughing immediately, as did cross.
"Allen… calm down and think about this rationally" The unusually calm General said, lighting a cigarette.
"Rational?! How the hell can I be rational?! HOW THE HELL CAN YOU BE MY FATHER?! NO WAY!! NO WAY IN HELL!! YOU CANT EVEN MANAGE YOUR OWN MONEY PROBLEMS! YOUR AN ALCOHOLIC! A WOMANIZER! SADISTIC! HOW THE HELL- HOW CANT THIS IS JUST FREAKIN WEIRD!!"
"Stupid student. There you are over reacting again…"
"AND WHOSE FAULT IS THAT?!" Allen yelled at him.
He glared at him for a moment before turning on his heel and walking out of the training hall. Even Cross winced when the door slammed behind him.
"Ah… that… did not go well did it?" Cross asked.
"Nope. It didn't" Lavi informed him, as Klaud paced back and forth.
"why are you so relaxed?" Cross asked suspiciously.
Lavi began to sweat visibly. "that… is a… err… very long and complicated tale which I would love to discuss but now really isn't the time" he said nervously.
"Fair point. But don't think you're of the hook damn rabbit." Lavi paled.
Cross turned to the blond woman who was still pacing.
"well what are you going to do?"
She stared at him incredulously.
"ME?! IT'S YOU WHO'S GOING TO FIX THIS YOU STUPID MAN!! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!! IF YOU HAD'NT BEEN TORTURING HIM WITH YOUR SO CALLED TRAINING THIS NEVER WOULD HAVE HAPPENED!! NOW GO FIX THIS" She sent the monkey after the red haired man who instantly headed for the door.
"I'm going! I'm going! Calm down you crazy woman!"
All the while the bookman in training simply watched the rather odd family's(?) antics. He couldn't help but think it was no wonder hade turned out slightly off (in some cases - such as his poker dark side) with these two nutters for parents.
Heh heh heh heh heh... i had fun writing this chapter. i fugured since cross dosent seem to give a damn about allen most of the time (though he has been a bit nicer in the recent chapters of the manga... Kyyaaaa!! i cant wait for the next one!! stupid japanese holidays!! two weeks without a chapter! two weeks!) i'd make cloud extra possessive. enough so even cross is a bit wary around her. I'll bring in allent whole Fourteenth situation in maybe the next chapter or the chapter after that. i'm trying to keep to the manga as much as i can... though the charecters are prtty much OOC all of the time, and somr things are obviously not going to be anything like the manga... lenale's pregnant. how much more diverse can you get?
Hope you enjoyed it.
Please Rate & Review!
Natarii
xxx