Arc 2: Promiscuous VIII: Rust

DV- We've made you wait a month, not necessarily because we wanted to, but because uni finals. We regret nothing :P

US- I can say however, that today's colour is Rust. I'm not sure if I need to go into the symbolism here. Degradation, corrosion, edges being lost and parts no longer working as they should. We got exactly the response we expected last chapter, and we still have plenty in store to get even worse.

Take solace in the fact that dawn always comes. And when you inevitably hit rock bottom… there is only one direction left to go. Up.

DV- Brightest dawn comes after darkest night after all. Or so they say...

Disclaimer: Maybe Nintendo shares will go down for Christmas? That's one way for us to get ownership, we suppose.

Happy Holidays Everyone!

Joseph POV

The interior of the tent was dark- though it wouldn't be for long. Sooner rather than later, the sun would rise, and light would inevitably filter through the disarmingly thin fabric. When that happened, there would be no choice but to rise and join the others, lest I be left behind.

But I didn't want to get up. I was still naked beneath the covers- for my pyjamas had been destroyed the previous night, and I'd only brought a single set with me. Though, my clothes hadn't been the only thing I'd lost.

My virginity. Last night, I had lost my virginity. Rather, a more accurate description may have been "my virginity was destroyed". In other words… I was officially a man now.

To be honest, I wanted to go back to before it happened, even if that sounded childish. Males make a huge thing about sex, and sure, I'd considered the act intimately in my mind…

But that didn't detract from how sickened I felt right now.

I was lucky that Keiko had risen even earlier than I had (Only leaving a note behind before she left), because I doubted I would have been able to look her in the face without flinching.

"I'm sure many a man would mock me for that, but…" Well, I think I had justification in that fear.

Keiko had raped me.

There was no sugarcoating it, no rewording it, no brushing it under the rug or downplaying the magnitude of the event. I had told her no, had made my feelings clear, and she had held me down and done it anyway.

The act itself… well, it certainly felt as good as I'd been told it would be. The sensation of it couldn't really be explained, which was even worse, really. Because for an action with such negative stigmata, it felt like it should have been far more painful than just fingernail marks and the steady force of somebody pinning me to the floor.

"Help me Officer! This woman held me down against my will and made me feel good!" I mean, even back home, what were you meant to say to that? I knew that logically women could rape men, but it hardly held the same weight as when it happened to a women. And here, I knew it would be even more ridiculed. A Tamer forced to have sex with his Pokegirl, ridiculous!

So yes. I was confused. The act had felt amazing, she had made me feel amazing… and yet when my mind drifted to the experience, I could only remember the panicfearhurthandssharpnailshelddownand-

Shudder.

I felt… drained. Weak, perhaps? I think the thing I hated most was the lack of control- the fact that I had been helpless and she could have done anything to me, and I would have been unable to resist.

Yes- I hated how powerless the whole act had made me feel- the fact that pleasure had accompanied it was completely irrelevant, in my eyes.

Either way, I wasn't looking forwards to needing to get up.

"Darling~" a familiar voice said, a melody of nails I couldn't help but cringe away from. Keiko looked at me in such a manner that may previously have once been interpreted as adoring, but after the previous night, I could only call it sickening. Then, she smiled, without a care in the world. She looked happy. Calm. Satisfied- one could almost say radiant. I hated that- just how much happier she looked right now. "Wakey wakey, rise and shine! We have a long day ahead of us, and after last night, I'm sure you're starving. Breakfast is ready for you!"

I said nothing- could say nothing, to her. So silence was my armour and shield. If I said nothing, she'd go away, and I would have a little longer before I had to face the day.

"Oh, cheer up, darling." She said, still as happy as the cat that got the cream. "Get dressed and come out and join us, okay?"

She spoke like a doting girlfriend, lovingly asking a favour, but I saw underneath the words. That was as good as an order. She was still holding my Pokeballs hostage, after all.

"Fine." I said, and then she left me to do as she had asked. I laid there for a moment more… and then I rose. No longer could I sit around. It was time to face the music.

Keiko had apparently told the other Tamers that we were going to be eating a romantic breakfast alone, and they accepted her words easily enough, for I found myself sitting apart from the rest by the treeline (Yet still in view of the others- I'd learned my lesson). Keiko sat besides me on a tree trunk, a plate of bacon and eggs in her hands. Forkful by forkful, she personally spooned them into my mouth. Perhaps she found it romantic; perhaps this was just another way to exert her influence and power over me; perhaps she knew I was in no mood to eat, but likely needed to all the same.

"Oh, it breaks my heart to see you sad!" She said innocently, as if she bloody well didn't know what the problem was.

"Keiko, give me back my Pokeballs." I told her, trying to be firm, though my voice trembled despite my best efforts.

"Relax! They'll be returned before the convoy moves." she told me. "For now, let's talk, hmmm? It's time for me take a larger interest in your affairs, my dear."

For a moment, it was almost like I was back there again. I couldn't forget- no matter how I tried, with every word she just kept reminding me. "I'm just giving you a little push." she had told me firmly, as if that justified everything. "Some Tamer's just need to be… reminded."

"Please." I told her, softly. I didn't want to say anything more than that- I didn't want to hear the weakness there, when up until yesterday words seemed to have come so easily to me.

"In. Time." She intoned, sternly. "I've tried to be gentle. I let you lie in, and enjoy this lovely breakfast served by my adoring and beautiful self, but you aren't getting off easily. I can't let you fall back into bad habits, now can I? As the one who will someday be your wife, that is unacceptable."

"If I have my way, that will never happen." It was a stubborn thought, perhaps. But here and now, I decided that I wanted this little bit of defiance. In the end, despite how many times I actually had considered taking Keiko up on her advances, I had resisted until the end. At the end of the day, I needed to be forced to do the deed. I didn't give into temptation. So fuck her, because I didn't break,

I could be very stubborn when I wanted to be- and this point I wouldn't budge on.

"Don't frown so much. If the wind changes direction, you may get stuck like that~" she told me cheekily, tongue stuck out, though she shifted back to her more calculative side after that. "Still, let me clear, darling. I am your Alpha, and you will listen to me. And you will not fall back into failure again. You will sleep with me once a week. Do you understand?"

"No!" I snapped, sliding away from her in disgust. "You sicken me." I told her, honestly.

"And after I tried so hard to make your first time wonderful." She lamented, sadly. "Did you not enjoy it? Perhaps I wasn't hitting your kinks? Oh well- we can experiment next time, I suppose."

"No." I told her, resolutely. I feared that this wasn't an answer, I expected.

She shook her head and looked at me like I was a stupid child that didn't know anything, and not the man she'd made me become. "If you persist, then I will just have tie you up next time, perhaps. It's for your own good. If you don't comply, then drastic actions would need to be taken."

"How… how can she just… make DEMANDS like that?" I had to gape visibly at just how large her balls were for that. "And how can she possibly act like I'M the one in the wrong here!?"

"You're not worth it." I told her. "As soon as we reach Ecruteak… I swear, I'm done. I'm gonna… trade you in, hand you off… sell you or… or something." Because at this point in time, even joining the bands of those people I hated for treating Pokegirls like tools seemed a better prospect than just shoving my head in the sand and pretending that she hadn't done what she had.

There was only one option- I had to escape from her while I still could. I'd read about relationships like this in the past (Abusive- let's not mince words about how a 'relationship' like ours could be described), and the longer they lasted, the harder it was to free yourself.

"I wouldn't do that if I was you." she told me, waggling her finger at me chidingly. "I like being your Alpha, and I've resolved to stay by your side. You need someone to protect you, look after you and guide you, and I will take that position, thank you very much. I don't want to be parted from you, my dearest."

I gave her the most skeptical look I had. "Do you think you'd have any choice?" I told her, trying to echo the words she herself had told me before. For a moment, I hoped that she would feel some of the panic I felt before- if only a little bit.

She shrugged indifferently. "Not like I could stop you once I'm back in a Pokeball. I can't stay outside indefinitely, can I? Would be rather suspicious. But if you do that… well, I'd have no more reason to care about you, would I? There would be… consequences."

I gulped, loudly. "Which would be?"

"I'll tell." She told me darkly, the warning on her lips dead serious. She wasn't joking. "I'll tell every single person I can all about you, and I'll tell the League what you did too. Hell, I'll even tell Gym Leader Whitney personally. I'll tell them how weak you were, how you couldn't even fulfill your duties."

If I had a mirror, I was sure my face would be pale enough to match a vampire. "No. She wouldn't." Oh, but she would. "But that's… does she have no decency? She'd just spread about my shame like that? Everyone would know, and they'd all know…"

I could already imagine it: the pitying and laughing gaze of a society that found the whole thing amusing at best. WIth everyone aware of my shame, and just what I'd gone through. There would be the knowing eyes, the implicating comments… I'd never leave it behind.

"But don't worry, I'll keep quiet." She whispered. Like lightning, she lashed out and captured my sweaty palm with her own. "I'll keep quiet about that. You won't get in trouble or anything. All you need to do Joseph, is keep me close, and sleep with me once a week. Not much trouble at all, is it? And you won't even need to do anything. Just lie down… close your eyes… don't say a word… and let me take care of you."

Her tone made me shiver- though I was ashamed to say that her words prompted just as much desire as it did disgust.

It felt like I was still in that fucking tent. Like I was just as trapped as I had been then. Her unwavering grip, an unbearable warmth everywhere, and the understanding that she had me by the balls.

My options were bad- that was for sure. I could get rid of the bitch, and would consequently be ridiculed by society for the rest of my life. This land had many similarities to the Japan of my home world, and I knew exactly how judgemental and petty they could be. Reputation was everything there- and there was a reason they had the highest suicide rate in the world, and I didn't think I was strong enough to survive scorn like that.

Or I would have to suffer Keiko for rest of my life. To see her nauseating smiles and see her act like the perfect wife, while below my hatred would fester. I'd have to suffer her- all with the understanding that the situation that led to me hating her in the first place would repeat every week.

And then, the kicker. "Did you know?" Keiko leaned in close, so her mouth was by my ear. "That it is a prosecutable crime to not sleep with a Pokegirl when you are her Tamer? Wouldn't it be a terrible shame if you got in trouble with the League, huh?"

My first thought was: "Hang on a second, why the HELL would that be a real law? Like, what the heck could justify that becoming a legally enforced thing?"

The second thought was: "In fact, how would they even enforce it in the first place? Why would they need to?"

And my third thought: "Oh shit. What would happen to Sophie if I was in trouble with the police of this world?"

The dread was everywhere, and had become a noose around my neck. There really wasn't an option, was there? The choice was no choice at all. I had a rock and several different hard places, and they were closing in fast, one and all.

"So then… what's your decision?" Keiko pressed me, physically and verbally.

Finally, with a weary heart… I made a decision, and I whispered my answer.

"Louder." the Vulpix told me.

"F-fine. You win." I said.

"Louder." She repeated, triumph in her tone.

"I said… you win." And I looked away, because I really think I hated her, and hated that I'd given in. But at the end of the day, my life would become impossible if I gained a criminal record. I had gotten lucky with Whitney, and she wouldn't be able to support me if I got a conviction. Even if I didn't go to jail, the criminal record would mean I could never find a job even if someone was dumb enough to accept someone with no educational credentials.

Then there was the shame- I hated to think about what had happened, and how helpless I had been. I couldn't bare the thought of everyone knowing- of Whitney giving me a pitying look. Even worse, I couldn't bare her giving me a judgemental look. After all, she was like everyone else here in this fucked up world, and I couldn't bare the thought of one of my few friends turning her back on me due to me being unable to conform to their archaic views.

And at the heart of the problem: Sophie. What would happen to her? She'd be sent to another Tamer, she'd be called used goods, the reputation of her first Tamer would hound her just as it hounded me. Who knows what sort of sleazeball she'd be saddled with by the League?

Because there was only one image to me that hurt me more than having Keiko in my life and enduring that horrifically claustrophobic sensation of weakness… and that would be seeing her be pushed into the exactly same FUCKING situation at the hands of another far sketchier man.

"You win." I repeated, for a third time. There was power in the the number three, and I'd said it thrice. This was me giving in. It was her game, Checkmate, and all I was doing now was formally accepting it- knocking over my own king before she'd be forced to pluck it from the board in my place.

Her vulpine smile told me all I needed to know about what she thought of that. "I know."

XXXXXXXXXX

Keiko kept her word, and shortly afterwards she walked away to go get the Pokeballs from wherever she'd left them. It took her longer than expected, over fifteen minutes, but she she returned with Sophie in turn.

The look on the Sentret's face was horrifying, while the one on the Vulpix's was triumphant to say the least. It was as I'd feared- Keiko had been talking to her, no doubt telling the story to her in her very own skewed and biased way.

"You slept with her." Sophie accused- hurt in her eyes.

I nodded- because there was no words that I could find in me to tell her. Because fundamentally, I… I just couldn't talk about it. I didn't want to, and I didn't want to find out what kind of eyes she's have for if I did tell her the truth of that evening.

"You hypocrite." She snarled. Her eyes were almost slits, and I think I could see that her claws had subconsciously retracted out. Then without another word, and before she could do anything she might later regret, she snatched her Pokeball from Keiko and returned herself to it. Before she faded away in a burst of light- I could see the entirety of her emotional spectrum streak across her soft features. Hurt, yes. But more besides. Sadness. Disbelief. Hesitation. Regret. Anger.

But worst of all- Jealousy.

With a happy whistle, Keiko skipped over to my side and returned my Pokeballs to me.

This was her Victory. There could be no doubt about that.

Ben POV

What is life?

What is death?

Is life sacred?

Is free will true, or all part of God's plan?

If life is sacred, but there is indeed free will, then what right do I have to take it from others?

Sitting in the wooden chair of a Staryubucks, sipping on my coffee, I ponder my issue. I can always tell myself that, yes, when push comes to shove, I can deliver.

But what if I can't?

Strange, isn't it? This would be my third kill. Don't they always say it gets easier? Though, I suppose the circumstances are different.

Karev was, well, a split second decision. No time to think it through.

The assassin of Brasi's, well, him or me. And it was almost both of us anyway.

This is, no if's and's or but's about it, premeditated homicide I'm planning. Why is it this hard?

It's so easy to take a life. Exhilarating, in a fashion, to, for a moment, feeling the power of bestowing life and death. Or maybe that was simply the surrounding circumstances happening so fast the previous times. It can't be that I'm removing evil from the world. I'm doing that here, but it's still so difficult.

Ugh. I need something else to think on. Might as well start making sure I actually follow through on my cover story. Standing up and walking out, I make my way through the winding roads towards the lumber mill.

As I push the door open, a group turns to look at me. The best dressed one asks, "Can I help you?"

No, you can't help with the real issue. Being here is a sideshow, a cover, "Yes. My name is Ben Hagen. I take Giovanni has informed you of my impending visit and subsequent audit?"

At that, they straighten out immediately, "Mr. Hagen, we are glad to welcome you to our facility, and we-"

I'm tired and stressed and otherwise in no mood for pointless flattery, "You may dispense with the pleasantries, manager, I'm here to put you back on schedule."

At his suddenly nervous look, I add, "Follow closely and you may not find Giovanni himself here."

It's not really surprising that threatening to bring the top dog down on them makes them shut up faster than anything else. Now how deal with...stress. Stress from plotting murder. Oh come on! Why do all my thoughts have to revolve around it now? Running my hand through my hair, I give a light sigh.

"Mr. Hagen?"

"Yes?" I snap, certainly harsher than is warranted.

The manager looks at me cautiously, handing me a briefcase, saying, "Here's the reports from the past year."

Sighing, I take the briefcase and begin walking out, telling him, "Wonderful. I'll begin here. I'll be in touch."

When I get back to my hotel room, I set my new reports down on a chair before I clamber on top of the bed, summoning both girls while staring aimlessly at the setting sun. I'll deal with them tomorrow. Yeah, tomorrow sounds good.

Immediately, they form into their usual positions. Katsumi snuggles into my side, forcing me to shift a bit as she digs into my ribs while Lorraine simply sits beside me in silence, with each of us occasionally placing a hand on the other's shoulder.

No words are needed here. We all know what's going on. It's perhaps a last moment, a last hurrah of innocence before tomorrow night.

One path ends.

Life and Death are simply a cycle, a wheel of eternity. There must be free will, for our merciful Lord would not plan a world, multiple words in truth, full of such suffering and anguish.

What gives us the right to end another's life?

Nothing.

No one gives us the right.

We take it.

Joseph POV

"You look miserable." a familiar voice told me, sitting down besides me. I gave the female Tamer that had spoken to me a few days ago a passive look. "Like really. You've looked shit since two days ago, and it's definitely not due to the Feral attack upon you, since you started to get better. Are you okay?"

"Its none of your damned business!" I snapped, practically tossing my plastic fork aside in disgust. The brunette looked shocked by my sudden anger, but didn't respond to my shout, so I pressed on. I had a fire in my belly, and a target to direct it at. "Like really, who do you think you are, acting like you know shit when you don't!"

"Clearly not." she agreed, coldly. Another broken bridge. "I was only coming here to see what was wrong, but if my advice is unneeded, I can go."

"Don't trouble yourself." I said harshly. Before I could say anything else, I jumped to my feet and stormed away. I'd left behind half a plate of spaghetti, but I didn't much care.

By the time I'd reached the other end of the camp and had taken a seat near the edge, I was already regretting my words. "I was a bit harsh." I admitted, if only in my mind. I'd been going through ups and lows over the two days since I'd been taken advantage of (To put it in less harsh words). Quiet and pensive one moment, explosive the next. A real emotional rollercoaster.

I considered going back and apologising, but I really wasn't feeling it. I'd already blown her off, and I didn't want to deal with a third troublesome women this evening. Keiko and Sophie were bad enough. The latter was still pissed and angry at me and could barely talk to me without snarling, while the former maintained her same sickening facade.

It wouldn't be a mistake to call this the worst week ever. I don't think I've ever felt this glum- not even when my grandad died, and I loved the man to death.

"Just… fuck." I intoned softly. The swearing didn't make me feel any better. It released tension, but it recovered faster than I could burn it.

"Bright sides, Joseph. It's been a week now. Only another three days left until we reach Ecruteak. At least then I won't have to walk." a happy thought, but the concept of not stomping my feet off didn't help my mood for long.

"Oh, are you being grumpy again!?" Keiko called out to me, approaching my position and sitting down next to me. My Alpha spent more and more time out of her Pokeball now, as if she was still watching over me intently with those cold eyes of hers. "Don't you fret, I am here."

And then, with a girly giggle she strongly grabbed my shoulders, then pushed me down so that my head was resting against her legs. "La~ap pillow~"

I shut my eyes, so I wouldn't have to look at her toothy smile. There was no choice but to act like this was normal- to provide the others with some form of normality. At least letting Keiko do this would keep her quiet.

No words, and no sights. I'd have to take this little moment of peace for what it was worth- at least Sophie wasn't here.

One more day until we reached Ecruteak City. One more night of camping, and then a shorter day of walking. I was almost giddy at the thought of reaching the city. Lovely, normal beds and a period of rest where I would have the freedom to wander the city on my lonesome. Admittedly we'd only stick about for a week before we would see about taking another public Convoy to Olivine City.

Couldn't forget about why we were doing this in the first place. We needed to get some Gym victories under our belt for a superior paycheck- so we needed to hit another city, as we'd be wrecked pretty easily by Ecruteak's Leader, Morty.

"You're looking a little better." Noted Keiko.

At her appearance, I frowned. "I had been."

"Oh, truly I am cursed to have a Tamer to find me this undesirable." She pouted melodramatically, a hand poised at her face.

"What do you want now?" My sigh was pronounced, but my meaning was clear. Keiko wasn't dumb. She knew I still hadn't forgiven her actions, and likely never would. She might act like the tension wasn't there, but she was perceptive enough to understand that I wanted as little as possible to do with her.

"To give you some advice." Read: Orders. "Talk to Sophie. The poor sweater chest is in a bad place, and it's about time you give her some much needed attention."

One couldn't get a more skeptical look upon their faces than my own if they tried to do so for a millenia. "Awfully nice of you."

"I dislike that girl, but I don't hate her." The Vulpix stated. "She's getting pretty bad. You have no excuse not to deal with her."

"Shut up. I don't need you to tell me that." I snapped harshly- it was lucky that it was socially acceptable for a Tamer to treat their Pokegirls abominably like this, because it gave me at least one respectable avenue to release my pent up emotions.

I'd been meaning to talk to Sophie, anyway. I wanted to resolve things. She was my best friend here, and life was going to be hell enough with Keiko in it. I wanted things to back to how they once had been, between us. "I'll talk to her."

She clapped her hands together in satisfaction, while her fluffy ears twitched happily in time to her swaying tail. "Excellent! I've arranged with her for you to have two hours in the tent with her alone. I'll be out powdering my nose or something."

Two hours with me in a tent with Sophie… I wished it was elsewhere (As I hated the look, smell and warmth of that tent now), but it was better than nothing, and gave us quite a bit of privacy so long as Keiko kept her word and stayed away. "Fine. When does this start?"

"No time like the presence." Then, she grabbed my sleeve and my dragged me to where our tent was planted. She gestured to the opened slit, and I stepped through, closing it behind me. I watched Keiko's silhouette for a few seconds, until I saw the shadow get smaller and fade away. She was gone.

Leaving me with a rather disgruntled Sophie.

"Hello, Sophie." I said awkwardly, trying to break the silence.

The Sentret looked just as awkward, though also quite twitchy. Sat down, her tail around her like a belt, looking up at me with eyes I couldn't read. "Hello." she replied through the neck of the sweater she was hiding within.

And then the conversation stopped at the greetings stage- both of us unable to say anything else. There were the unsaids within our eyes, but no words. It was too awkward, and before I knew it, it had been five minutes. My legs were aching from my position, so I sat down at the far end of the tent.

"This is fucked up." I finally said, trying to set the wheel going.

"You think?" she snapped rather uncharacteristically- she'd been doing this for awhile now.

"Yes." I said, for lack of anything better. "I hate this."

"Oh, you can fuck off, you hypocrite." she spat. The scowl upon her features was even more pronounced since her lower face was hidden by the sweater- though the red of her cheeks could faintly be noticed.

"I'm… I'm not!" I told her, desperately. Because I wasn't a hypocrite. I knew why she thought so, but that didn't change the truth. I didn't want this.

"Did you or did you not sleep with Keiko, even though you rather vocally told me how you wouldn't fuck me and refused outright?" she pressed me, with a pointed finger directed at me.

"Yes," I admitted. "But-"

"But what?" she snarled, fingers digging into the sleeping bag she was sat upon and causing small tears in the fabric from her prominent claws. "You just accidentally slept with her? You didn't mean it? With Keiko it was different? She came onto you? What, Joe! What? What fucking excuse do you have!?"

"It wasn't like that! I was-" raped. But the word refused to leave my mouth. Not even the first syllable. My mouth was stuck, and I just couldn't do it. Just thinking about it made me tremble, and I couldn't help but imagine again and again how it had gone, and just how little I wanted to see Whitney or Sophie's faces screwed up in pity or contempt.

I just… I couldn't tell her.

"It was what?" Sophie asked again, darkly. "Go on. Spit it out."

"I didn't… I couldn't… I don't want to!"

At that, Sophie laughed a little- bitterly so. "You don't want to? To sleep with me? Am I that ugly to you or something? Was all that shit you told me a lie, before?"

"No!" I shouted, horrified that she would even suggest so.

"Then why did you fuck her!" Sophie screamed back, her voice hoarse and frail. She was… weak. Her defences were down, and her emotions were laid bare in her tone. "I know I'm not plain, but do you hate the idea of wetting your dick within me that much that even now you refuse to fuck me, even though you've already done her!?"

Things were getting out of control again. Sophie was so… hurt, and I hated that. But I didn't know what to do- her words were hurting me too. It's not that I didn't want her. I just didn't want anyone right now. Hell, I was even more turned off by the whole idea, especially since I had been RAPED only two days ago.

"And yet, I just can't say it! Why can't I say it!?" I tried once more to say those oh so simple words. 'I was raped. Help me'... but nothing. I didn't want her to know, didn't want her pity or contempt, and sure as hell didn't want anyone to know just how fucked up I was by this whole mess.

"Don't you even have the balls to reply!?" Sophie snarled, after I failed to reply for too long. "Answer me! Am I that ugly to you?"

"No! Okay! You're not ugly!" I snapped back at her, not lying at all. From the moment I met Sophie, I'd known she was pretty. Then when I saw her naked, I lusted for her, and knew she was beautiful. This had nothing to do with that. "I am attracted to you, damn it!"

"Then fuck me already." she growled, and then before I could blink, she had tackled me. It came out of nowhere (Though it really hadn't), but her weight hit me and I was knocked onto my back, where Sophie pinned me down with her body.

She was flushed and panting, and so tightly hugging me that not a part of her wasn't touching myself- as if she was starved for contact and just wanted to be as close to me as she could. And then, without any grand words or warnings, she pressed her soft lips against my own and broke down the defences of my mouth- forcing her tongue in like a man quenching his thirst for the first time in an oasis.

By now, I had frozen up completely. No- I had been completely tensed up from the moment I was knocked to the floor, because already I was starting to remember.

Helddownithurtslipsandhandsandwarmthandpleasurepainohgodohgodhelpmehelpmehelpme!

It was happening. Again. I was gonna… she was gonna… I couldn't!

I bit down, and tasted blood not my own. The tongue recoiled as its owner cried out in unrepressed pain. Then, while Sophie was distracted by her bleeding tongue, I was somehow able to push her off me. For the first and no doubt only time, I found the strength to overpower a Pokegirl, and somehow the will to accompany it.

A reflex, really. Deep down, I just couldn't go through that again. Not from Sophie too.

Sophie watched me with pain and shock- as if she couldn't imagine that I would ever do something like that to her.

"P-please." I begged. By now, I was openly crying. I couldn't help myself. The tears were coming, and I couldn't stop them, "Not you. Not you."

"J-Joseph?" Sophie asked, amazingly softly despite the blood dripping down her chin from her mouth.

"I can't… I can't deal with this." I admitted. Without another word, I stumbled to my feet, unzipped the tent as promptly as my shaking hands could manage. I gave the horrified girl a final shaky look, and then I undeniably fled the tent.

"You didn't sleep with her." Keiko noted, blinking deeply in shock. She didn't comment about my red eyes, or my disheveled clothing.

"N-no." I shakily agreed. "You can't make me, damn it! Not her. Not Sophie." There was no way in HELL that I would let my relationship with Sophie be broken any more than it already was. I didn't want to look at Sophie like I presently did with Keiko.

The Fire type shook her head. I couldn't tell what she was feeling exactly- she hid her emotions well. It was something akin to sadness, pity or maybe even disgust. "It seems I can't. Poor girl. I hope you know what you're doing to her?"

I didn't reply.

She sighed, then turned her back to me, preparing to leave me to my sulking. "You'll see soon enough. You shall see."

Ben POV

"Excuse me?"

The young hotel clerk looks up from his screen, clearly displeased with being interrupted.

If it wouldn't be somewhat of a detriment in my plan, I'd ask him if he's enjoying his porn. Because really, even kid rated programs here would qualify as porn back on Earth.

"Can I help you?"

Leaning against the desk, I ask as casually as possible, Lorraine standing in silent vigil behind me, "Yeah, a friend and I are here looking for work and he'd said he's got the room, but he neglected to tell me the room number. I was hoping you could help me so I wouldn't have to wake him up by calling."

It's when the clerk raises a clearly disbelieving eye that I realise my mistake. He can clearly see the Pokeballs on my belt, and Lorraine herself, which means I'm not gay, and thus two guys shouldn't be sharing a room under any circumstance in this world.

"It's, just, well," I add a slight stammer in feigned embarrassment, "Money's kinda tight right now. Sacrifices have to be made so we can both eat."

I'm still not sure he completely buys it, but he clearly decided that whatever's going on, it's not his problem, as he simply looks back to computer with a shrug, asking, "Name?"

"Brasi."

Without looking at me again, he apathetically states, "Room 415."

I frown slightly, inquiring, "Key?"

"Don't have any spare keys for customers if they haven't lost theirs, only one per room. Afraid you'll have to wake him," he snickers, "Best of luck to you."

Great. Well, that complicates things. Still, that's an easy enough contingency that I've planned for it. I'm on...contingency plan z, now, I think? I should really get that all organised. Oh, and write a will. That would probably be a good idea as well. Just in case.

Once we've slowly walked past him, I offer, "Thanks anyway, have a nice night," before I turn around out of his peripheral vision and, giving her a quick nod, Lorraine lashes out with a quick jab right into his left temple.

"What the-?"

Before he can do anything further, she smashes his face into the desk at full strength, which elicits the...lovely...sound of bone crunching. As he collapses, we roughly shove him under the desk. Now, where do they keep the spare keys?

Let's see here, paper files, alphabetically. Ah, of course. The spare keys are in a lock box underneath. Great. I doubt he has the keys, he doesn't look old enough to be management. Shame that I can't use finesse here. Brute force is something I have though.

Sighing, I remove Katsumi's ball, wordlessly summoning her. And immediately place a hand over her mouth as she gets ready to lambast me. Seeing that I called Lorraine before her only hardens the look in her eyes, hard as rubies.

"Not now," I whisper as I point to the lock box, "In there is the spare key to Brasi's hotel room While I prefer finesse, I do kinda sorta need you to physically open it? Can we discuss our last discussion later?"

Lorraine gives a questioning look, but otherwise doesn't comment. That's perhaps my favorite thing about her compared to Katsumi, she doesn't require knowledge of everything.

"Well, it's about time you made up your mind Ben. I'm glad you came to the right choice. So yes, we will discuss it later," Katsumi states before kneeling down, feeling over the metal before literally prying the thin sheets of metal apart, easily as I might tear paper.

Taking the sheet that used to the door and tossing it aside lightly, she asks, "What room do we need the spare key too?"

"Four hundred fifteen."

"Right. Got it."

I'm regretting this already but despite myself, I say, "Okay, let's go then."

I've come too far to turn back now.

Among the three of us, we don't talk in the elevator, no need. What could we say anyway? We're off to commit murder, it needs to be done, but that's no justification. Except, here and now, it is.

Our footsteps echo slightly in the empty hallways. For a high end place, the lack of what I consider traditional security measures, cameras and the like, are surprisingly absent. Though, let's be honest, superpowered women are their own security detail. Still, something to ponder on in the future.

"Let's see, 403? Alright, a bit further then. His place is 415."

Coming to a stop in front of the appropriate door, I gently take the key from Katsumi and unlock the door while raising my pistol in front of me.

As we try to open the door silently, it creaks under unoiled hinges. Shit.

I look nervously at Katsumi, wanting her take. When she silently mouths back my thoughts, "We've come too far to abort now" and Lorraine gives a terse nod of agreement, I sigh slightly before tightening my grip once more in a vain attempt to settle my shaking hands and move in.

Okay, so far so good. It all goes wrong halfway to the bed. A pair of red eyes not belonging to Katsumi shine in the dark, before a light flicks on.

An older Poke of some variety, though judging from her lower half could only be an Arbok or Seviper, launches herself at me, though is intercepted by Katsumi and the two roll away in a pile of fists, claws and fangs. Thoughtlessly, I point towards them, ordering Lorraine to help Katsumi out. Katsumi's pride can suffer, I'd rather she make it through alive. Pride can be regained, life cannot.

Brasi is sitting up in the bed, shirtless, looking at me with an odd expression, "Hagen?"

Oh no. This is the last thing I want. Why couldn't he have just stayed asleep? Attempting to steel my nerves despite my rapid breath, I reply, "That's right, Brasi."

No, no, no. Why'd he have to wake up? Damn it.

"You're making a mistake," he states matter-of-factly, as if I wasn't pointing a gun at him, and damnit, stop talking!

Steadying my slowing dropping arms as my right index quivers, I ask, "Am I? I don't think I am."

Why? Why am I conversing with him? Why can't I just pull the trigger?

He folds his arms, "You are. I'm not the person you're looking for."

I snarl, saying, "Don't try to talk your way out of this."

Brasi sighs, monologuing, "You're not a killer at heart, Ben. It's painfully obvious. You killed Karev in defense of the innocents that shouldn't have been preyed on, and you killed that assassin in self defense. Admit it Ben, you can't kill to further your own goals. That's why Giovanni made you an accountant, you know, to keep you out of the politicking as much as possible. You're your mother's child that way, I suppose. She was always particularly soft-hearted. You just don't have the stomach for it."

As he speaks, I imagine Katsumi and Lorraine's reactions.

"Oh Ben, I'm so...disappointed...in you. I thought we had this sorted out? Ah well, I suppose we'll just work on it some more, so you make the right choices instead of the easy ones."

"So this guy tried to kill you? I dunno about here, but in the badlands, someone tries to kill you, you kill them back. Not doing so just invites more attacks."

No. This-this needs to be done. Maybe he's right, maybe I can't kill simply to make things more convenient for me. If that's true, then I'll kill not for me, but for Katsumi, for Lorraine, for Shinji, for Mikhail. For all the people that would become targets due to me. For a future for all of us that may not be otherwise.

"HA!"

We both turn to look at the fight between the three Poke's. Katsumi is pinned underneath, looking a bit...purple. Lorraine has the seviper in a headlock, so there's that at least. Oh shit, seviper is a poison type. That, and the older Poke is likely just legitimately stronger and more skilled. Neither Katsumi nor Lorraine are Wonder Woman.

As if the universe believes in spite, which I totally am of the opinion that it does, Katsumi is encased by a golden light, followed by the Seviper's indignant cry of, "Oh, that's just not fair!"

Katsumi's black hair washes out to a light blue, and her single crest sweeps back into seven, arranged in somewhat of a crown formation. Eh, I'll gawk later.

Honestly, as pissed as this would make Katsumi, I'm tempted to agree with the seviper here. A mid-battle evolution is kinda cheating. But then, we're here for murder and it's already a 2-on-1 fight, so what right do we have to speak of fair play?

Suddenly remembering what was going on before the commotion, Brasi and I turn back to each other.

"Is that your final verdict?" I ask, hoping he doesn't sense nervousness, but then, it's really a mute point by now.

He simply nods, having the arrogance to close his eyes, "I have nothing to fear. You won't do it."

Three shots cut through the distance between us, scattering blood, skin and in the case of one shot, brain matter, around the area where he used to be.

I stop, tilting my head slightly, "You were wrong."

It's so easy. Just a quick squeeze was all it took. It was necessary too, I remind myself, he tried to do us in first. Besides, my ego whispers, he had it coming for being sure of his psychoanalysis when we've only met a few times, we had to prove him wrong.

Looking at my gun, a weapon that has now taken two lives and will surely take more in the future, I resolve to add a scratch for each one somewhere. Never forget why and gaze into the abyss boldly, for the abyss gazes back, all consuming.

Katsumi walks over, clothes torn, splattered in blood, dropping the Seviper's fangs that she ripped off and gouged out her enemy's eyes with. Lorraine is certainly looking better than Katsumi, with more superficial wounds, but less serious injuries, eliminating in my mind any doubt who's stronger at full bore, not including the fact Katsumi was the tank in that battle. Without words, we make our way out of the room, locking it behind us and keeping the keys for now to buy some more time, and begin our trek off to a Pokecenter.

Despite Katsumi's purpling complexion, she tucks herself under my right arm, giving me quick kiss before stating, "I was concerned about you for a minute. I'm glad you made the right choice."

Why does that feel so hollow? Like something has been lost? Like something's been reversed?

Has there been a hidden roundabout somewhere?

I made the right choice...didn't I? It would have been easy to ignore him, easy to put my head in the sand. But why is it that the right choice isn't the easy one?

I can only think I've made the right choice after all. Those currently closest to me certainly believe it so. If I can't believe in me, then I'll believe in their belief in me.

I only hope we've walked the correct path. For if we have not...

May our Lord have mercy. For no one else will.

Standing on a section of the wall shadowed by the Burned Tower, I gaze aimlessly over the forest. There's no one else here, just the three of us.

"So," I begin, "that's it huh. The world just keeps on turning."

Intellectually, I know nothing will happen. Murder happens all the time on Earth, and the world barely acknowledges it. Why should it be any different here? And yet, there's a part of me that wishes something had happened. That there would be some divine confirmation that what I did was wrong.

I sigh, holding my silver cross, stating, "It's sometimes hard to believe in God when certain people aren't struck down in divine retribution, isn't it?"

Lorraine simply gives a nod, though her eyes tell me she's a tad confused. Katsumi shrugs, as if the entire matter of religion and faith is irrelevant in her world view. Which, to be honest knowing her, it probably is.

Never mind that the person who would be struck down is me. The Bible is full of God actively guiding events, but that's been absent for the past millennium. Perhaps it's all metaphorical, perhaps not and some of the events actually happened as described. Prove it either way.

"Have we been abandoned to our own devices? Was it decided that we were a lost cause?"

Placing a hand on my shoulder, Lorraine states, "I don't think so. Every child has to leave home and make their own way eventually, don't they?"

Leaning against the stone, I shrug, "I suppose that's true. It's just-there was-it was-one second he was alive and then he wasn't. It was so-so anticlimactic. Like there should have been something else."

Maybe it's a reminder. I'm just as vulnerable as he was. Perhaps genetically more human, but equally vulnerable all the same. Flexing my hand, I look down, idly tracing the lines. I suppose I'll have to be careful. I can't say I like the feeling of being both predator and prey.

Katsumi moves next to me, I've found her to be a very touchy-feely person, asking, "If you could go back to that party, would you change the outcome?"

"If I could, if I'd thought about it-"

She amends her question, "If you knew you wouldn't get another shot at Karev, would you make the same choice?"

If I didn't have another shot at Karev? Compared to how many women and girls he undoubtedly victimised over the years, all my troubles have had a silver lining to accompany their troubles. If I hadn't taken him down then, I wouldn't have met Lorraine, or a chance to turn a Galactic member into a double agent for me in Mikhail.

"Yes. Yes, I'd make the same choice in that scenario."

"So, what are you worrying about? If you could go back, which you can't anyway, you'd make the same choices. So either way, it would lead to this. Really, I can't see why you're stressing so much over it."

I want to yell that it's murder. That murder is wrong, no matter the circumstance. But I don't. Because we've already walked that path. As far as the closest things to true companions I have are concerned, an eye for an eye is justice. Responding in kind. I can kinda see where they're coming from though. And that scares me a bit.

To regret killing is to be human, to feel nothing is to be a machine, and to enjoy it is the work of a monster.

How many will die in the future? Who knows. However many must, Katsumi would say. There's no end and no beginning to this cycle of violence. It doesn't end. This isn't some Saturday morning anime. People aren't going to sit down and talk out their issues, no matter how much more optimistic that would make things.

And I, in a decision of haste, entered myself into this world's game of thrones, a game with only two outcomes. Scheiß drauf.

As I finish filing a line on my pistol, I stow it away, give a small resigned smile and put a hand on the a shoulder of both Katsumi and Lorraine, saying, "If the only options open to us are victory or death, then I suppose we should do our best to come out on top, ja?"