Eddy took off his sunglasses and led Ed and Double D into the lobby. They headed towards the secretary, feet clicking on the freshly polished black marble floors, which matched the walls.
The secretary's name was Temari. She had a recurring role on the hit show Naruto. But she wasn't recurring enough to be A-list, and secretary for the heads of the studios at Cartoon Network Studios was a surprisingly good side job, and it was a lot less degrading than a lot of other side jobs she could have had.
"We have an appointment," Eddy said to her, obviously willing to flaunt this fact for some recognition.
"I'm sure you do," She was rapidly typing on a computer and hadn't even looked up yet.
"So can we go in?"
She shook her head and nodded to the black leather couch for them to sit on.
They sat. For black leather couches, they were hard and surprisingly uncomfortable.
"Sooo… how long have you been working here?" Eddy asked her.
Temari finally looked up at him. She scowled and looked away.
"Are those mints free?"
Temari didn't look up again. "No, I keep mints on the edge my desk in a little glass bowl that you have to pay a buck each for."
Eddy detected her sarcasm but decided he wasn't in the mood for a mint as he crossed his arms and legs simultaneously. Double D bit his pinky nail. Ed looked carefully at the mints, surprised they were so expensive (a buck each! No wayyy!).
After another two minutes or so, Temari spoke up again. "Okay, you can go in. Good luck; you're going to need it."
Eddy raised his sunglasses. "Wait, how do you know if we-"
"Gooo…"
"Because we didn't hear your phone or a timer or-"
"…Innn." She sneered at him.
Eddy didn't push the issue and scampered over to the door. Double D followed with a fast pace. Ed jumped up as quickly as Eddy, but walked over to Temari. He shoved a crumpled dollar bill her way with a tentative hand and grabbed a mint as fast as he could to follow the other two Eds and get away from the scary lady.
Eddy looked closely at the door when he came inside the office. It was like a small hallway, but was really one of those rooms you go through before entering a bigger room (quite common with restrooms). "Hey, look! We can stalk the secretary girl." The double doors were heavy glass with metal handles, and were so tinted that even on their side the Eds could barely see through.
Double D looked at it. "How… clandestine."
Ed nodded. "Yup, they're black, Eddy!"
"No you idiot, the point is that you can see out of - never mind." Eddy shook his head. Then he looked at the door on the other side, which was just simple white door. "ARE YOU READY?"
"Don't yell, Eddy. You don't want to disturb them."
"Ed can do that."
"With the cat's destiny spine, Eddy!"
------
The little red light on Temari's phone blinked. She clicked a button. "What?"
"Did you send them in?"
"Yeah."
"Already?"
"You said three minutes."
"… I DID?"
"Yes."
"I wanted ten minutes!"
"Don't look at me, I'm not a mind reader."
"D'oh!"
------
Eddy opened the door. The first thing he saw was a huge mahogany wood table. Seated people surrounded it, papers in front of them. Most of the businesspeople were human beings, but there were five figures at the head of the table. They were cartoons. And they were yellow.
Eddy opened his mouth to say the lines he had rehearsed, to press 'play' on the scene he had played and rewinded over and over in his head. But someone had just thrown his thoughts way off-track. When he finally found his vocal cords again, he said, "YOU'RE the heads of the studios! NO WAY!"
"What puzzles me…" Double D said. "… is how you got to be the heads, considering that you're part of Fox network, correct?"
"You're right," Lisa Simpson responded. "We are."
Double D tapped his chin in thought as he stared at the super-famous TV family, the Simpsons. "But your show is such a hit. You may be, if I do say so myself, past your prime, but you're still producing new episodes. How do you find the time?"
"When you've been around as long as we have, you begin to really get a feel for this place." Marge replied. She still had the familiar old tower of royal blue hair, but instead of her usual green dress, she had on a lime green skirt and blazer outfit. Diamond earrings hinted at her wealth. "We really know our way around by now. We owe a lot to the power of networking. Even with that…" She paused to snap her fingers above Homer's sleeping form. He awakened with a start, drool on his chin. "I'd like to add that we just have good work ethics. You may think that the more successful one gets, they automatically become divas or power-hungry."
Eddy snorted. "You're head of Cartoon Network Studios. You never even worked there. You're not 'power-hungry'?" He used air quotes for 'power-hungry'.
"We're not power-hungry, we're resourceful." Lisa corrected, getting out of her seat to help her mother explain things. Homer had fallen back asleep, his drool now collecting in a neat little puddle around his mouth, and Bart was just watching the conversation, wondering when to come in either with a snappy comment or maybe to throw something.
"If I could ask another question…" Double D meekly held up his finger.
"Shoot," Bart answered.
"When exactly did you take over this company? And why?"
Lisa had now taken the floor. "Well, our reign has only recently been encompassing this place… we had to work our way up. And as for an answer to your second question, I think that will tie in with the first. About when did you start to notice some recent… changes with Cartoon Network Studios?"
Double D was wary of what was to come next. "Well… schedules on networks are constantly changing."
"Anything particularly odd about the recent changes?"
Double D looked to the side in thought, having a few ideas but figuring none of them made enough sense to suggest aloud.
Lisa jumped over to Double D, sticking her finger at him in a sudden wave of anger. "I SAID, anything weird about the changes lately?! Anything at all?!" Double D opened his mouth to answer, but Lisa cut him off. "The changes are all BAD! My Gym Partner's a Monkey! George of the Jungle! Out of Jimmy's Head! More seasons of Pokemon, even though everybody knows it's jumped the shark!"
Double D finished her point. "You're destroying Cartoon Network!"
"And there's nothing you can do about it!"
She would have laughed evilly, but that's not really what Lisa Simpson does. Double D would've shouted something out of shock but he was all out of exclamation energy. Homer was asleep. Maggie was watching this whole thing intently at the head of the table, her hands clasped together, sucking on her pacifier as she waited for the Eds to leave so business could resume. Bart looked bored; he'd rather be doing vandalism. Eddy was wondering how this whole thing applied to him and was also bored. Ed didn't quite get the whole thing.
Eddy clapped his hands together. "So, can I talk to you about auditions?"
"Bart…" Lisa motioned to her brother.
A manic grin spread across Bart's face. He took out a little remote control and pressed a button. The floor under the Eds suddenly shot open, and they went hurtling downwards. Double D just sounded terrified, Ed thought it was incredibly fun, and Eddy shouted, "NO WAY, THIS IS SO DAMN CLICH-AAAAaaaayyyy…"
Marge fluffed out the lapel of her suit and sat down. "Now, let's hope we don't have any more interruptions."
Maggie nodded, rolling her eyes. Just as she shuffled some papers in a 'let's-get-down-to-business' manner, someone rapped on the floor-to-ceiling glass windows behind her. The baby threw down her papers and turned around. Jack Spicer, using a little propeller machine he had built himself (no Jackbots today), was hovering outside their window. "Hello, my CEO highnesses! I'm Jack Spicer, Evil Boy Genius Reporter in the Field!" He held up a little business card that read Jack Spicer, Evil Soy Genius Reporter in the Field. The way he brandished it, he must not have known there was a typo. "I'm reporting from the Cartoon Media Corporation, and I'd like to ask you a few questions…" He had out a little notebook and pen. The notebook was monogrammed but the pen was from some bank he didn't go to.
On the other side, the Simpsons looked at each other and other suit-wearing executives in the room exchanged glances of confusion or annoyance (yes, just a reminder that there were other suit-wearing people in there the whole time, they just learned long ago not to get involved with the Simpsons' personal affairs, or business ones for that matter). Marge mouthed something to Bart. Smiling again, Bart took out his trusty slingshot and shot at Jack. A little pebble (it's a granite pebble, since they have more money than they know what to do with) went through the window and hit Jack in the eye.
"HEY!" Jack shouted as he rubbed his eye, almost messing up his one weird streak of black makeup on his cheek. Maybe if he had been wearing those swirly goggles on his eyes instead of his forehead, he wouldn't have gotten hurt. "I'm trying to get an interview here! You didn't answer my question about your favorite guilty pleasure! The theme here is 'favorite things'!"
"This is my favorite guilty pleasure!" Bart shot his slingshot again. The pebble hit the left shoulder propeller. Jack screamed like a little girl as he slowly began to spiral downwards, picking up momentum as the further down he got.
"Only thing is, I never feel guilty!" Bart's look was purely one of 'job-well-done'.
"AAAHH-THAT'S-SO-EVILLLLLL!"