Disclaimer: As always, I own no part of SOA. All characters and settings belong to Kurt Sutter / Sutter Ink. However, those characters that are a living breathing product of my imagination belong solely to me.

Chapter 14

Pulling into the TM lot, Abel pulled his bike alongside his brothers and parked. With a slow unhurried gait, he made his way towards the clubhouse. As he approached the door, even before entering he could the familiar family like commotion from inside.

"The club needed you out at the warehouse; Where were you tonight Abel?" asked a slightly sarcastic and wholly accusatory Tig.

Opie stepped up, resting his hand on Abel's shoulder "Hey Kid," he smiled "I talked to Katie, she's gonna hang at the house with her mom tonight."

Physically relieved to have at least one thing going his way tonight, Abel smiled tightly "Thanks Uncle Op, 'ppreciate it"

"Not a problem, Kid, but um' you want to tell me what's going on? Should I be worried here?" Asked Opie

"It's nothing Uncle Opie – honest I handled it." Abel replied reassuringly. Before either man could say more "Abel, I think we need to talk NOW!" Abel turned to sound his dad's slightly pissed off voice. Watching his dad standing just inside the Chapel door, Abel could tell that his dad was more than a little pissed at him. Shutting out the voices of his brothers, Abel moved to his dad. "Look Dad," he started only to be cut off my Jax. "No Son, you look – you have a responsibility to this club, to me, and to your brothers. You're a member of SAMCRO now that means you need to deal with shit when it happens not when you feel like it. What happened to you earlier is there something you need to share?"

Abel respected his dad; he tried to understand the pressures of being president, but right now is dad was dead wrong. "I 'NEVER' forget my loyalty or responsibility to this club. I love SAMCRO and 'you' know it. I had shit to handle that 'is not' club business and 'no' I won't be sharing. Are we done?"

Stepping back from his son Jax looked at him – really looked at him for the first time in a long time. "So much like me – too much," thought Jax wearily. Watching Abel stand before him all young and defiant; Jax smiled proudly. "A true Tellar," he thought with pure parental pride. For just the briefest moment Jax wondered about the man Abel would have become without SAMCRO to interfere. Indulging those thoughts led nowhere fast – it was all water under the proverbial bridge now. Keeping a definite line between fatherhood and presidency was not easy. He loved his son more than life itself, but he was still this club's president. As president he demanded a certain respect from all of its charter members, including his son. Deciding on a course of action Jax pushed forward, "You're not still tied up in the Mexican pussy are you?"

Abel felt his temper flare, struggled to keep his inner demons in check. "God, Dad is that what you think that I baled on my club to get laid…Seriously? I told you…things between me and Maria are over. I had business to handle that has absolutely nothing to do with this club, and 'no' I don't feel like sharing. Are we done here?" He asked again with same attitude and sarcasm as before. With no immediate answer Abel turned away from his father, walking slowly away.

Slamming his fist against the Chapel table angrily, Jax had a rare moment of extreme anger and pride. As president it was bad form to let your brothers be so disrespectful; as a father he was proud of his son for standing up for himself. In that moment, he was almost certain that Abel would make a fine president someday – almost.

Calling his brothers to church, Jax slammed the door shut with more force and irritation than was probably really necessary but it sure felt good at the time. Jax should have known better than to expect a quick and easy Church, things never worked out that way with his brothers. After about thirty minutes Church finally ended. Abel and Chibbs were going with Jax to meet with LaRoy tomorrow – try and settle this Niners / Sons issue. Juice and Bobby were going back out to the warehouse to check on the prospects doing guard duty. Thankfully Jax was going home to his wife. With church concluded, Abel was out the door like a shot.

Halfway across the parking lot, he almost didn't hear Bobby calling after him. Waiting for Bobby to catch up, Abel smiled his 'his uncle' Bobby may be getting older he was still one of the finest men Abel knew and next to his dad no one Abel respected more. "What's up Uncle Bobby?" asked Abel, who not since childhood had referred to any of the brothers as uncle.

Bobby smiled, in many respects he thought of Abel as his son too. He took great pride in being there for him, watching him grow into a fine young man, a man he was proud to call nephew and brother. "What happened to you today Abel – we needed you at the warehouse."

"Not you too, Bobby," grimaced an irritated Abel. Continuing on to his bike, he stopped, mounted the bike, and was reaching for his helmet; before Bobby spoke again. "I know that things ain't been easy around here lately, but you got to work with your dad on this. SAMCRO needs this shit with the Mayans and the Niners to even out – we can't do that without you Abel."

"I know what SAMCRO needs Bobby; I never forget what we need around here. I was in the thick of something and had to finish my business first. And before you ask, no offense its nothing I really I want to discuss now or later."

"Damn" thought Abel "these guys are worse than a bunch of old women tonight – wanting to talk about all this shit." Bobby stood silent a moment before placing his hand on the handlebar of Abel's bike "Don't let this shit – whatever it is – get between you and Jax. This club needs you both."

Strapping on his helmet, "I hear you Bobby," he replied as he steadily eyed Bobby's hand, waiting rather impatiently for the older man to remove his hand from his bike. The bike roared to life under Abel, the second Bobby removed his hand, Abel shot from them TM lot.

It was nearly dawn when Abel finally parked his bike in his parents drive way. He noted his dad's bike already parked in the drive. Mindful of the hour, Abel made his way into the house as quickly and quietly as possible. Poking his head into the living room a combination of relief and worry washed over him. Amanda and Rachael were still curled up together on the sofa. Thankfully, Amanda finally appeared to be sleeping. He prayed Rachael could keep the demons at bay – that Amanda was able to truly rest.

His dad was waiting for him in the kitchen. A little surprised that his dad hadn't already headed to bed – Abel mumbled a quick "Hey" as he headed towards the refrigerator in search of a cold soda. Jax watched his oldest son for a moment, thinking over his words carefully "Abel about earlier…"

"Dad" Abel interrupted "It's really late or early I guess….can we just table this till later? All I want right now is a hot shower and bed at least for a couple of hours."

For like the tenth time in as many hours Jax was struck by just how alike he and Abel were. Times like this he couldn't honestly say if that was a good thing or not. All he knew for sure was that he loved his son and was damned proud of the man he was becoming. Deciding that nothing more would be solved this night, he pulled his son into a brief hug "yeah Abel we'll talk later."

Snatching a cold soda from the frig, Abel headed off towards the shower; Jax in search of his wife. Slipping into their bedroom, Jax soundlessly stripped off the day's clothing and slipped into bed next to his wife. Snuggling in close to him, Tara sighed contentedly, glad once again that her husband was home in her arms safe where he belonged.

Tara woke up early the next morning. Moving quietly around the kitchen, Tara made herself a hot cup of coffee. Sitting at the table, she enjoyed the alone time, simply enjoying her coffee, reading the morning paper. Lost in thought, Tara wondered about Tommy, on morning like this she wished he were home. She wanted her whole under one roof again or at least in the same area code again. As her mind continued to wander, she didn't hear Rachael when she entered the kitchen. "Morning Mom!"

"Jeez! Rachael you startled me," reacted Tara. Rachael just giggled and headed for the pantry door. "Mom do we have any more coca krispies or did my dofus brother eat them all?" Tara laughed, to think she worried that the age difference would keep her sons from bonding with their baby sister. "I think there is some left on the second shelf and your brother's not a dofus Rachael Rebecca," Tara admonished with no real authority behind her words.

Amanda standing in the kitchen doorway watching joined in "Yeah Rachael, your brother can be a real dofus when he wants to be. Hell Rachael sometimes he can even be a dork too," she murmured conspiratorially

Turning towards the doorway, Tara was surprised to see the faint smile just barely touching Amanda's worn expression. "Fake it till you make!" thought Tara, it was obvious that something was still not right with Amanda, but just as obvious was that the young woman was working to get back to life as usual. "Amanda" Tara countered, "Do not encourage this sibling nonsense between my son and his sister." Tara winked at Amanda a girlish grin shining in her eyes. Standing, she poured a second cup of coffee for Amanda.

"Amanda why don't you take your coffee, grab your bag, and head off towards the shower. The hot water will go a long way towards making you feel better," suggested Tara.

Taking a sip of hot coffee, Amanda moaned her pleasure, grabbing her overnight bag from under the table; she headed towards the bathroom without another word. Tara continued to sip her coffee, as she watched her baby girl plow through not one but a bowl and a half of coca krispies, while talking on the phone with her best friend Annalisa. Within seconds of hanging up, Rachael was already pestering Tara about going with Annalisa and her family for the day. "They're going to the park, lunch, and then movies…Is it all right if I go mom….PLeeeeeassse!" Rachael pleaded.

Tara smiled at her little girl "Did Annalisa's mom say it was ok for you to tag along?"

"Yeah mom….even said that she would stop by and pick me up on the way to the park….if its okay with you?" Pulling her daughter into a fierce hug, Tara smiled her baby girl was growing up so fast. "Call Annalisa back…let me talk to her mom for a minute." Jumping around the room – unable to contain her enthusiasm Rachael raced for the phone.

Twenty minutes later Rachael was racing out the front door crying out "Love you Mom!" as she sprinted to Annalisa and her mom waiting in the driveway. "Love you too - have fun sweet-pea" called Tara from the porch "and be good – don't give Annalisa's mom any grief ok?" Tara replied as she waved to Annalisa's mom Connie. Turning to shut the door Tara was surprised to see Abel standing a few feet way. "Morning baby" she smiled as she moved to kiss his cheek, "I was sure you would sleep for a least a little while longer."

Abel smiled familiar warmth spreading through his body; he loved quiet moments like this with his mom. "I probably should still be asleep – true, but I smelled fresh hot coffee and well – here I am. Taking her son's hand Tara led them both back to the kitchen "Sit down son I'll get you cup and then maybe we can talk." All of that sounded real good to Abel this morning, straddling a kitchen chair he asked after dad and Amanda.

Joining him at the table with two fresh cups of coffee Tara informed him that his dad would probably sleep for just a little bit longer and that Amanda was in the shower. Abel grinned at the thought of Amanda in the shower. There was a large part of him that wished he could go and join her right now. "Abel…Abel" Tara interrupted, pulling Abel from one his more pg. rated daydreams. "Yeah mom sorry what's up?"

"I know last night I said that I wouldn't pry…" holding up a hand she stopped Abel, "please son let me finish. I won't pry, but after seeing Amanda last night I think there's something I need to share with you as well as her." Taking a deep breath, Tara looked deep into her son's eyes. Touching his cheek briefly, Tara was struck once again just how much like his father he looked. She could see Jax in many of Abel's actions and mannerisms. She saw Jax and her in the way that Abel watched Amanda. After seeing the way he watched her last night, she had no doubts that her son would go to hell and back for this girl. The truth was, Tara thought last night he probably had. "Abel there is something I think I need to share with you. Amanda and I talked about it briefly right after she arrived here. Now, I think it's time that you and I did."

Smiling sadly at the obvious interested confusion on her son's face Tara began again "I was much like Amanda after graduation. I so desperately wanted out of Charming. I begged your dad to go with me, but his life was here. I didn't understand that at the time, but now I realize that we both needed that time apart to grow and mature to become the people we needed to be. I had big hopes and dreams, Abel, I wanted as far away from this town and her people as I could get. At first I missed your dad so bad everyday was a struggle to just get out of bed in the morning. As time went on I learned to adjust. I was working and putting myself through school – life was looking up for me. After graduation, I took a position at a local hospital in Chicago. In Chicago is where I met Josh."

Abel was kind of surprised to be having this conversation with his mom. Mom seldom ever talked about life before she came back to Charming. Sure everyone knew that while she was gone – she became a kick ass surgeon. Hell she even helped save his life once, but that was the extent of it. Abel always thought there was something buried there that mom would rather just forget.

Squeezing his hand to comfort herself Tara pushed on. "Josh worked for ATF. At first we had great fun. He was very thoughtful and charming. I actually began to think that he and I might have a future together. I could not have been more wrong. Things changed very quickly. All too soon, Josh was becoming violent with me. I was completely afraid of him – of what he might try and do to me. I tried to talk to him. I tried to make him see reason. I told him we were through – that I was moving on. Nothing I said got through to him. I eventually took out a restraining order against."

Abel sat silently at the table, his jaw clenched tightly. He was sure there was more to the story. He had to forcefully remind himself that this was his mother's past. His mother had obviously survived whatever this was, but that didn't mean he couldn't be angry that someone had on purpose hurt 'his' mother. He wanted his mom to continue, but he wasn't sure what to say.

Tara continued, after several weeks I decided to come home to Charming. I told myself I was coming home for the job at St. Thomas or to take of my dad's place. The truth was I was coming home to find your dad. Ten years apart and I still loved your dad very much. I knew that I with him I would always be safe.

Abel knew this part of the story like the back of his hand. It wasn't long after mom came home that he was born. She was one of the doctor's at St. Thomas who worked overtime to save his life. How many kids could say that their mother actually repaired their 'broken heart?'

"I was home in Charming for weeks before I realized that Josh had followed me. Working for ATF it was easy for him to try and make trouble for your dad and SAMCRO. Then one day I realized he wasn't here for them – but me."

Abel squeezed his mom's hand, his mind flooded with memories of last night. He really was his father's son he thought with an ironic smile. "What happened mom? What happened when dad found out?" asked Abel, although knowing his dad he was reasonably certain he already knew the answer.

"You know your father Abel, he protected me. He kept me safe. Afterwards he loved me through the ups and downs and all of the insignificant drama. He was strong for me when I needed it most. He let me be strong for him when he needed it most," continued Tara.

Abel sat staring at his mom, seeing a side of her rarely looked at. She was his mom, a doctor, and one hell of an ol' lady, but as her son it was easy to forget that she was still a beautiful woman. "You look surprised Abel," Tara smirked, "however it came about, I did have a life before coming back to Charming and your dad."

For the first time in a long time, Abel saw his mom in a new light. Abel chose his next words with cautious care, "Mom? What happened to this Josh character?" Asking was really just a formality, he was fairly certain that he already knew the answer.

Tara gazed at Abel with such love in her eyes. My big strong boy, such a bad-ass SAMCRO reputation and yet here he sits holding my hand worrying about me and something that happened more than twenty years ago."

Choosing her words with extreme care, Tara looked into Abel's warm blue eyes and answered "The police told me he lost his job with ATF due to violating his restraining order and his behavior here in Charming. He supposed to face charges once he returned to Chicago. Last I heard he never returned to Chicago, and as far as I know he hasn't been seen since."

An intense feeling Abel couldn't quite put his finger on washed over him. They sat watching each other in silence. He was certain that his father had taken out that bitch Josh – the same as he had 'Dean.' Marshaling his thoughts, he asked "Mom, why are you telling me this now?"

"I see the way you look at Amanda. I know that you would do anything to keep her safe. Given everything that she has been through I thought it might help you to know. Besides, I know you and your dad have butted heads lately, thought maybe it would help knowing that you're not so different after all."

It was then that Jax and Amanda entered the kitchen. Moving to stand behind his wife, Jax leaned in to kiss her cheek and whisper "Good morning baby!" in her ear, before heading to the coffee pot. Amanda fresh from the shower stood in the kitchen doorway slightly awkward. Watching her, Abel thought she never looked better. Taking in her worn – hole's in the knees jeans, bare feet, over-sized SAMCRO t-shirt, and with her long hair still wrapped in a towel; to Abel she was the most beautiful creature on the planet. Grabbing his cut from the back of the chair, Abel moved to stand next to

Amanda. "Hey Dad, I'll meet you at the clubhouse – Ok?" To which Jax replied "Sounds good son, I'll be there in about twenty minutes."

Turning back to Amanda, Abel whispered softly "Walk me out?" Amanda smiled hesitantly moving towards the door with him. The pair walked in silence towards Abel's bike. Leaning against his bike, Abel turned and handed her the keys to his truck "I had one of the prospects bring it over – in case you need it today." Accepting the keys, Amanda smiled her thanks and appreciation at the thoughtfulness. Taking her hand, Abel tugged her gently into his arms – holding her nice and tight. At six foot two, Abel was a tall man. He was a man who usually preferred small petite women. With Amanda things were different. He found himself actually glad that she was taller – thicker than most. As he held her, he buried his face into the side of her neck – grateful for the way she was made.

"Damn" thought Abel "Oh my God – she smells so fresh and clean. I could lose myself her in her scent alone." The thought coursed through Abel's body lightning fast. With her scent alone, he could feel his body stirring – hardening. Without real conscious thought he dropped several small wet kisses along her neck. She tastes better than she smells he thought absently. Abel pulled back, a little shocked that he had touched her that way.

Looking into her eyes, Abel was lost. He saw such life in her face. In her eyes, sure he saw the lingering pain and confusion of last night, but he also saw a passion for life and something more that he couldn't quite put his finger on. Tugging her lower lip between her teeth, Amanda closed the sudden small gap between them. Once again she stood in the security of his warm embrace.

The image of her tugging/ biting her lip burned through Abel's mind. She could heat his blood hotter and faster than any woman he had ever known. Holding her like this – without actually touching her was maddening. "One taste" thought Abel recklessly "all I need is one taste. If she bitch slaps me – then I guess I will have gotten what I deserve." He thought just before he looked into her deep dark eyes. Leaning in he brushed his lips across hers in the barest whisper of a kiss. The contact was electrifying. Abel knew he could easily become addicted. He cursed himself a damn liar – one taste would never be enough. He needed more. Pushing the towel from her hair, Abel wrapped his hands up in the long wet strands, before taking her lips once more. The first kiss may have been a bare whisper, this one however, was a raging fire.

Abel's hands ran carelessly through her hair. He ran his tongue along her lips begging for entrance into her warm wet mouth. As she allowed he slid his tongue inside her mouth. Reviling in the taste of her, Abel wanted to scream. He wanted to shout out loud that this was his woman. He felt the need to mark her, to brand her as his woman careening through his body. One first kiss and already Abel could feel his body wanting to harden to the point of pain. Sliding his hands down her back he couldn't resist the urge for them to rest comfortably against her ass. He knew with all that she had endured he was pushing his luck, but dammit he wanted this – hell he needed this. Then he heard it – the small moan of pleasure that she tried hard to smother. That single sound made struggling with his need to take her right there in the front yard harder than struggling with one of Satan's own. Did she have any idea what she was doing to him? Belatedly, he remembered they were standing in his parent's front yard.

Amanda was lost. The soft wet kisses along her neck had surprised her she admitted, but nothing had prepared her for this. Abel Tellar was kissing her with such passion. She had almost given up hope that he would ever see her as a real woman. As she felt his tongue along her lips, she wanted to scream from the sheer joy of it. The feel of his tongue darting about – toying with her own made her insane with feelings she didn't think she could adequately express. Then she heard that sound – a simple moan of pleasure and delight. "OH MY GOD!" thought her raddled brain that noise came from me. When Abel placed his hands on her ass, Amanda wanted to scream. He was finally touching her. He did see her as more than a best friend.

As Abel pulled back slightly, Amanda immediately felt the loss of connection. She wanted more. Taking a deep breath – the first kiss may have been his; the second one would definitely be hers. Tentative at first her tongue began to dart in and out of his mouth, unconsciously imitating a more intimate act. The touch, the feel, hell the mere scent of Abel had Amanda reacting in ways her body had only dreamed of.

The feel of her hardening nipples pressed tight against his chest – served to both drive Abel crazy with need and to remind him this had to end. Pulling back to hold her loosely in his arms he smiled down at her lovingly. Not wanting to spoil the moment with the wrong words, Abel brushed his lips across her cheek, whispering "I have to go, but this 'conversation' is far from over. With great reluctance he let her go. Straddling his bike he smiled at her as he fastened his helmet.

Meanwhile inside the Tellar house:

Tara quickly followed her son and Amanda towards the living room. As they walked into the yard, Tara moved the curtain just slightly – peeking out the front window. Observing his wife from the doorway, Jax laughed "Spying on your son with his girl – Gee Tara Gemma would be so proud!" Turning a tart smile to her husband Tara motioned from him to be quiet. Jax came to stand behind his wife, just in time to see his son kiss Amanda. "Bought damn time!" whispered Jax to his wife.

Tara playfully smacked him on the chest, "looks like there's going to be a new addition to the family." Jax shuddered "careful how you word that woman 'new addition,' let's hope our son remembers 'the talk' and uses a condom."

Giving them there privacy, Tara turned away from the window. "Oh yeah a condom," Tara replied incredulously "And what Tellar, Thomas is living proof of how well we used condoms before marriage – is that it?" She asked with a loving giggle.

A/N: Amazing what you can accomplish with a little insomnia. As Always xxoo Rainie ooxx

e Hehe