Sorry for the delay. I've been traveling for work. Enjoy!

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Dean asked.

"Dean, it'll be fine. I wouldn't have come if I weren't ready. Are you ready?" Castiel replied.

"I have to be, no matter how I feel." Dean muttered.

Dean and Castiel were parked across the street from Mary Winchester's house. Dean wasn't ready to go in there.

Thanksgiving break had been wonderful, three days spent in bed, doing nothing but staying in bed, fucking, eating take out, and then fucking some more, followed by two glorious days in Washington hiking around Seattle and Mount Rainier, then three days of debauchery with Jo and Charlie on the empty campus. Sam had gotten out of the hospital the day they arrived in Seattle and Dean allowed his mind to be at ease for once in his life. Finals had come and gone, much easier than Dean thought possible thanks to Castiel persistently forcing him to study in lieu of sleeping or sex. Dean had aced them and now he was one semester away from graduating.

Mary Winchester's house was ice to the face after a few weeks of bliss. The entire drive from the Topeka airport had felt wrong because he was in a rental car, and not in the Impala. Dean had almost driven the 2000 miles in his beloved car, just to give himself more time to prepare for the week and a half they would be spending in Lawrence with Sam and Mary, but Castiel had insisted they fly to save time, money, and mileage on Dean's "baby." In the end, he had relented. He still felt wrong though, strange to be sitting in front of this house for the first time in two years. He just wasn't ready.

"We could go see Bobby and Ellen first." Dean said.

"Dean, what are you always telling me? Be strong for me? Well, right now, I need that from you. Be strong for me, yourself, and for Sam." Castiel said.

"Goddamnit, Cas." He muttered. He leaned over and gave him a quick, discreet kiss, because he knew he'd have to watch the dude-on-dude PDA around Kansas, which was so damn conservative.

"Let's go. We've been sitting here for 10 minutes. I'm sure they've seen us." Castiel said.

Dean groaned and pulled the rental car into the driveway. They unloaded the bags from the trunk, Castiel struggling with his trunk, having packed far too much for his second trip out of state in two years. Dean chuckled. Castiel had refused to let him carry his luggage at the airport and he wasn't about to start now.

Dean took a deep breath, trying to focus on the task at hand instead of how endearing Castiel was. He reached over to knock, but Sam opened it before he got the chance.

"Dean!" He screamed, like a big girl. "Holy shit! Dean!"

Sam reached over and hugged him, literally lifting him off the ground. Dean choked for air. In the years of seeing Sam as a victim, he had forgotten how tall and strong his brother was.

"Sammy! Sam. Can't. Breathe." He choked.

Sam put him down and helped him and Castiel bring their suitcases into the house. Dean looked around. The house, looked completely different than the last time he had been home. Nothing was familiar to him except the photos on the walls and the people living in the house.

"Oh God, Dean. I can't believe you're here. It is so good to see you." Sam said, his voice breaking. "I have missed the shit out of you."

Dean took in his little brother. Sam was wearing a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt and he looked more like the Sam he remembered from his past, the Sam that wasn't sick. He was grinning ear to ear and his eyes were bright. He looked almost normal too, like he was actually healthy. His gaze was steady, he'd lost some weight, and he looked happy, like unbelievably ecstatic. His hair was still too long, but Dean could deal with that.

"Sammy, you look good." He said carefully.

"Thanks. They evened out the doses and it's done wonders. Around 7pm, I'll start getting hazy, but I'm not hugely fat anymore." He explained.

Dean tapped the side of his head, "How's it going up here?" He asked.

"It's better. I promise, it's better." Sam said, staring at his feet.

"Where's mom?" He asked, looking around.

Sam smiled nervously. "She just went to the store to get some beer for you. She knew you would be here soon. I promise, I'm okay alone now. She's been able to leave me alone since a week or two after I… got out of the hospital."

Dean clasped his brother's shoulder. "You don't need to explain, Sam. I trust you guys."

Dean glanced at Castiel who was standing behind them, looking anxious. Dean was relieved that he didn't look like he was about to vomit, which Dean had thought might be the case.

"Sam, I'd like you to meet Castiel. Castiel, this is Sammy, my little brother, and the bane of my existence." He said fondly.

Castiel froze when he said the second part, because he knew that in many ways, Sam was the bane of Dean's existence. He relaxed when Sam reached over and good naturedly punched Dean on the shoulder.

"Nice to meet you, Castiel." Sam said, reaching over and shaking his hand heartily.

"N-n-ice to finally meet you in the flesh." Castiel said, his eyes widening. He bit his lip nervously and stared at the wall behind Sam.

Dean chuckled. How was it that Castiel, who by all accounts, was a functioning member of society, more awkward than his batshit brother?

"No need to be shy, Cas." Dean said. "We're dangerously open here."

"That's n-n-ice." Castiel sputtered.

Sam just laughed and Dean was suddenly grateful that his brother still had his social graces.

Dean took their bags to the spare bedroom upstairs. He planned to make some noise about sleeping on the couch, even though Sam and Mary knew what was going on between him and Castiel. Dean thought about how strange it was that he hadn't been home in so long, and when he finally did come back, he'd brought his boyfriend along for moral support. It was going to be a strange holiday. Dean was here with a dude, his brother seemed less crazy than usual, and his mother hadn't run away in years.

Dean came downstairs and found Castiel, Sam and Mary sitting in the living room. There was a pizza sitting on the coffee table and a 12 pack of beers sitting on the floor. Dean suddenly loved his mother far more than he thought possible.

"Mom." He said quietly.

Mary smiled and stood up. She came over to him and wrapped him in a tight hug.

"I've missed you." She whispered in his ear. "I'm so glad you're here, baby."

Dean felt a few tears spring to his eyes. He couldn't believe he hadn't hugged his mother in two years.

"I missed you too." He whispered, holding her close.

After a seemingly long time, she released him.

"I got pepperoni pizza and Blue Moon." She said, motioning at the spread.

"You're a saint, mom." He said.

Dean sat down on the couch next to Castiel, who was clutching a beer tightly, as if it would fly away if his knuckles weren't white. He clearly was notready for all of this. Dean felt pity for him and it wasn't for the reasons he had imagined during their drive here. Dean leaned in to him.

"Cas, baby, you can relax. It's okay. We're okay." He whispered.

Castiel nodded slightly and loosened the grip on his beer.

"So, Castiel was just telling us about how glad he is to be done with grading finals. Dean, how did your finals go?" Mary asked, acting like a concerned parent, as if she actually had time to worry about Dean's grades.

"I rocked them." Dean said, opening a beer and shoving a slice of pizza in his mouth. "A's and B's. Thanks to Cas, I ended up with a B- in that god forsaken political science I told you about."

"What's next for you?" Sam asked. Sam was always asking him about school and what he'd be doing when he was graduating. He was curious, because he had never had the chance to go to college.

"The capstone/internship class I told you guys about last week. The Advanced Study of Molecular Biology of Human Disease" is the overly long and sciencey name for it. I'll be working at the hospital a few days a week. It's the last one." He said.

"Dean is very excited about it." Castiel said, his voice still a little shaky.

"That's wonderful, honey. I am so proud of you." Mary said, smiling at him.

"Have you started applying to grad schools yet?" Sam asked.

"I took the GRE a few weeks ago. I had the scores sent to a few schools, but I haven't started applying yet." Dean said carefully, glancing at Castiel. Dean leaving for graduate school was a touchy subject between the two of them.

"That's great, honey." Mary said, smiling at him. "So, Castiel, is your family disappointed that you're not with them this Christmas?"

Castiel choked on his beer. Dean suddenly felt like the biggest moron on the planet. It was just now occurring to him that he had never told his mother that Castiel didn't have any family and that's one of the reasons he was spending Christmas with the Winchester family.

"Um, uh, I don't, um, I don't have any family." Castiel said in a low voice.

Castiel's eyes began to dart, like they did when he got extraordinarily uncomfortable. Dean felt cold. This was bad.

Sam was staring at Castiel, pity in his eyes. Dean's eyes met his and Sam just gave him a little nod, encouraging him to speak up. Dean had forgotten that he was able to communicate with his brother without speaking, just like he was with Jo, Charlie, and Castiel.

"Dean, tell him he's wrong." Sam said.

Dean froze and realized what Sam wanted him to say.

"Cas, you've got family." Dean said, reaching over and patting him on the shoulder. "I'm your family, Jo and Charlie are like your family and maybe mom and Sam will be too."

"We are so glad you're here." Mary said smoothly. "I can tell that you've been excellent for Dean and you are more than welcome here."

"Thank you." Castiel breathed. His eyes quit darting. "Thank you for inviting me into your home, Ms. Winchester."

"Please, Castiel, call me Mary." She said, smiling warmly at him.

"Don't ever call me Mr. Winchester, either. I'm not that old yet." Sam quipped.

Castiel relaxed. Dean shot his brother a thankful glance. Sam just nodded at him. Why was Sam handling this better than he was?

The four of them sat around the living room for awhile, sharing stories about Oregon and Sam and Dean's childhood. Dean was embarrassed by a few of them, but he truly felt more at home than he ever thought possible. Mary went to bed around 8:30, obviously happy to not have to work a night shift. Around 10:00, Castiel mentioned that he was going to go upstairs and call someone, and Dean took that to mean his foster parents, the ones that were in Michigan and had helped Castiel so much after his horrific experience in his childhood. For the first time in as long as Dean could remember, he and Sam were alone.

"I like him." Sam said as soon as Castiel was upstairs. "He's funny and sharp and clearly madly in love with you. He's a little… well, he's a little strange, but I guess we're used to that around here?"

"He's been through a lot." Dean said. "And Sammy? Uh, thanks for… well, bailing me out there earlier. I can't believe I didn't mention his whole… not having a family thing."

Sam looked curious, but to his credit, he didn't ask.

"Does he make you happy?" Sam asked.

Dean thought for a second and then nodded. "Yeah, he does."

"Good. Someone should." Sam said, smiling at him.

"Sammy, don't say that. You have no fucking idea how good it is to see you again. You and mom." Dean said.

"I know it hasn't been easy being related to me." Sam said. "But Dean, I'm doing really well. After what happened in November, they adjusted the meds and I'm pretty much back to normal again. That whole thing, well, it could have been worse."

"I know, Sammy. I'm just happy you're you again. I just worry about you. That's all. I love you and I'm damn happy you're my brother." Dean said.

They were quiet for a few moments.

"I'm hoping that I can move out soon." Sam said.

"Sammy—" he started.

"Dean, I'm an adult." Sam said. "I can take care of myself. I'm seeing the psychiatrist twice a week now, getting blood tests out the ass, taking my medication like it's my goddamn job. You and mom shouldn't have to jump over hoops to take care of me.'

"It's not like that." He said helplessly, even though Dean thought that it was like that.

"I'm not a moron, Dean. I know how hard it was. You ran away as soon as you could, 2000 miles away for Christ's sake. I want you and mom to live your own lives." He said.

"Sam, mom and I love you. We don't mind helping you."

"Then why haven't you been home in two years?" Sam said, his voice growing dark.

Dean couldn't answer. Sam saw everything that was going on in front of him, saw how Dean and his mom behaved toward him, always taking care of him, always treating him an invalid.

"Because I'm an idiot." Dean said. "Sam, you're a part of my life. I want you to be a part of my life."

"Then come home once in awhile, you jerk." Sam said, sending him a smile to show that they were okay.

"I forgot how goddamn intuitive you are." Dean said.

"I want my own life too, Dean." Sam said suddenly. "I want to go to school, I want to date, and I want to get a job. I want to live with this disease, not have the disease live with me."

"You will, Sam. I promise. It just takes time, you know?"

"How long though? How long until I can make my own choices? How long until I can get on a bus and go to the grocery store without mommy accompanying me? I just want to lead my own life, just like I want you to have your own." Sam said.

"Sam…" He began. "Castiel has some issues. Like serious, bad issues. He's not schizophrenic, but the dude's been through a lot. More than I can tell you and more than I can even imagine. Needless to say, it's left him with some war wounds. For a long time and even now, he was…"

"Crazy?" Sam supplied.

"Well, yeah. I shouldn't use that word. I shouldn't think of you guys like that. But my point is, Cas is doing his own thing now. He's working, he has good friends, he goes out and does fun things… he has me… and it just took some time. It still takes time." Dean said.

"So if your crazy little boyfriend can do it, so can I?" Sam said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Dean shook his head. "I didn't mean to compare you guys. It's totally different. What I'm saying is that Castiel has shown me that it's possible to… live with it… like you want to. It's possible. I admit, I didn't think that before. I know that I am a dick for thinking that, but I'm beginning to see it differently." Dean finished.

He had never said that out loud, but Dean was beginning to see things differently. Just seeing Sam, talking to him now, hearing about how quickly he had bounced back from his last relapse, was showing Dean that Sam was more than a burden, more than a sick person. Dean had thought about him in those terms for so long that it was hard to see Sam as an individual still capable of living a full and happy life.

"Dean, I appreciate that. I really do. More than you can even know." Sam said laughing. "You have to realize though, you don't always have to take care of me, and you don't always have to take care of him. We aren't your responsibility." He said, seemingly out of nowhere.

"What makes you say that?

"I see how you look at him, with such worry in your eyes. I heard you whisper 'you okay baby?' at least four times in the last four hours and I know how you see me. I might occasionally be delusional, but I'm not blind or stupid." Sam said.

"I care about you, Sam. I care about him. That's all. I just worry, is all."

"You can't save everyone, Dean." Sam said. "Just showing your face every now and then, just being there, just the simple act of NOT RUNNING is enough for me. I'm sure it's enough for him too."

"I'm not running."

"I know. I'm grateful for that. You and mom, I just love that you're here with me now, that you care about me. It's enough for me, Dean. That said though, you have to start seeing me as an adult. When that finally does happen, I'd appreciate seeing your face more than once every two years."

"I'm sorry about that." Dean said, feeling all sorts of terrible.

"Castiel and I might be crazy, but you're the weird one, Dean. You have a martyr complex, yet you also tend to flee. That's has to eat you up inside."

"Quit being smarter than me." Dean whined.

"Jerk."

"Bitch."

That night, after pretending he was going to sleep on the couch, Dean creeped into the spare bedroom. Castiel was sitting in bed with the light on, reading a book.

"Dean, you don't need to pretend to sleep on the couch. We're not children. Your family is perfectly aware that we have a sexual relationship." Castiel said without looking up from his book.

"Shut up." Dean said, crawling into bed next to him.

Castiel took off his glasses and set the book on the bedside table. He turned to Dean and gave him that smile that always made him so weak in the knees. Dean pulled him in close, giving him a deep kiss on the mouth.

"Mmmm, I was dying down there." Dean murmured, cradling Castiel's face in his hands. "Being in my mom's house with the guy I'm sleeping with makes me so hot for some reason. I feel naughty, like a 16-year-old who's sneaking in her boyfriend. I almost went outside and threw pebbles at the window."

"You are ridiculous." Castiel said, laughing.

Dean curled up against him. "You are wonderful." He sighed.

"I am?"

"Yes, you dope. I never would have come back here if it weren't for you. I'm so goddamn happy I did."

"Things are going well?"

"Yes. Very well. I don't know why I waited so long. I'm such an asshole."

"You're not an asshole." Castiel said, kissing him again. "Well, sometimes you are, but even then, you're my asshole."

"Keep talking like that and we won't christen this house tonight." Dean murmured, tangling his fingers through Castiel's hair.

Castiel growled and straddled him. Despite his meek appearance and initial shyness, he was actually often the more aggressive one in their relationship, at least in the bedroom. Dean moaned as Castiel nipped at his earlobe and trailed hot little kisses down the side of his face, actually biting his collarbone.

"Shirt. Off. Now." Castiel ordered.

Dean pulled off his shirt and Castiel sucked and bit at his neck, while grinding his narrow hips into Dean's, and he was lost to the feeling. He didn't even care that his brother was in the room next door. Somehow he knew Sam would put up with it.