AN: As promised, here's a snapshot into Kakashi's mind. I'm not going to lay out his thoughts during the encounter where he almost killed Naruto. I'm not going to rehash the entire story from his POV. This is but a snapshot into the psyche of a distressed individual. I don't expect it to be clear or to make a whole lot of sense, though I hope you do come out of reading this with a sense on how he must have felt during the reveal. This is him denying what happened and coming to admit that something has happened. The rest... well, we'll see. I'm not going to write on his recovery. That would be long and it would be mostly boring. Anyway, I've written enough here. Read it for yourselves now! Enjoy.

Kakashi

He stared at the ceiling, eyes vacant. His head was pounding, screaming with the reverberation of one word (nononononononono). It was Obito and Sensei's death all over again. No, it was worse. But it was nothing, because it didn't happen. It couldn't have happened. There was no way that he would... but no (nononononononono), it didn't happen. He was just in the hospital because he was back from a bad mission. A horrible, awful, disgusting mission that made him feel as though he'd slaughtered a house full of newborn babes. He wanted to puke. But he didn't, because nothing happened. (How didn't he notice?)

"Kakashi-san, how are you feeling today?"

There was that voice again. Shizune-san, he thought blandly. Yeah, that's Tsunade-sama's apprentice. Kakashi was probably coming out of a coma or something and she had to make sure he was going to be okay. "I'm fine," he told her.

"You're not fine, Kakashi-san," she said quietly. "I wish you'd stop staring like that."

"I feel better. I should be going back on missions, once you sign the release form."

"I can't, Kakashi-san, not until you get better. I understand that this is hard for you, but once you've accepted what's happened, you'll start to recover."

"Nothing happened. It was a mission. A bad mission. Happens sometimes. I'm better now, though, so you should sign the release form and let me out."

He heard Shizune sigh, but didn't comment. She wasn't going to let him out, not until he spilled his guts to her. But there was nothing to spill, couldn't she see that?

"Naruto-kun left today with Jiraiya-sama. They won't be back for two or three years," Shizune said to him.

"That's nice. Naruto will be glad he's got a new teacher. I was his teacher once, him and Sakura and Sasuke. My little genin."

"Yes..."

"I'm glad Genma took over for me. It was kind of boring having to teach kids, no matter how funny it was to watch them squirm."

Shizune sighed again. "Kakashi-san, it's been a week now. I'm glad that you've calmed down since we brought you here, but you have to stop denying what happened."

"Nothing happened."

"You were in a romantic and sexual relationship with one of your former students. I'd say that's something."

"I wasn't."

"Naruto-kun used Henge to appear as Hisoka and you two were a couple."

"That's not true. Hisoka died. On a mission. I think it might have had something to do with why mine went wrong."

"Hisoka is Naruto; Naruto is Hisoka."

"I wish you'd stop saying that."

"Shizune, leave him," someone snapped from the doorway. "It's pointless until the brat accepts the truth, however long that takes. Be thankful he's not trying to hurt himself anymore."

"But Tsunade-sama—"

"Come. There's nothing we can do for now. No amount of talking is going to affect him. I've known the brat since he was in diapers; he's stubborn as hell and doesn't listen. You're wasting your time."

Silence. Blessed and cursed silence.

Kakashi swallowed, but forcefully retained his passive, bored-looking face. He kept his mind blank, blank but for the constant nononononononono!

Another week passed and Kakashi continued to stare at the ceiling. Except the ceiling was moving, churning and twisting and taking on shapes of the things and people he knew. Hisoka. Icha Icha. ... Naruto. Hisoka's face looked remarkably like Naruto's, except she didn't have the whisker marks on her cheeks and her eyes were brown. She was older, too. Sweeter. But... if Naruto were older... no (nononononononono). If Hisoka had blue eyes, she'd look an awful lot like Kushina-san. That had been one of the first things he'd noticed about her. Her hair was a duller shade of red than Kushina-san's 'tomato', and her face was oval, not round, but the resemblance was uncanny and he'd been badly startled the first time he'd laid eyes on her. It was strange. But she was older, and calmer, and gentler (like Kushina-san near the end). She'd taken care of Kakashi, making sure he got home okay even though he'd been drunk and had acted like a paranoid ass and threatened her. Still, she forgave him. She always forgave him. Gai had said something about a beautiful flower blossoming, or a blossoming beauty, when he'd wondered aloud about how he'd gotten home. He'd barely remembered the night before, he was so wasted. But Hisoka-chan had been kind enough to care for a complete stranger, not even knowing who he was (even though everyone above genin – hell, above the Academy – should have recognized the famous Copy-Nin). He missed her.

The ceiling had stopped its moving, appearing blank and empty. Kakashi wondered how it did that. The only other Henge he'd seen that could fool even the Sharingan and Byakugan was Hisoka's. Her Henge was solid. He supposed she did infiltration work for ANBU (why else wouldn't he see her in the Mission Room? why else would the Hokage appear amused when he suggested she be promoted? why else would nobody he'd asked know her beyond having spotted her around the village for years?). A Henge like that couldn't be wasted, and it must be some kind of family technique because he'd never been able to pull it off, no matter how hard she tried to teach him. She had limits, though. She could only transform into another mammal (like a mouse, like another person), but it would still be insanely useful. Imagine: she'd transform into a rat, scurry around the enemy's stronghold, get the information, and nobody would ever know she was there! With a tool like that, she had to be an infiltration specialist. That also accounted for her lack of taijutsu skills and her high stamina (she only had to get the information and run away: stealth and avoidance were enough for that – it wasn't because she hadn't yet mastered taijutsu, it was because she didn't have to bother). That Henge was a masterpiece he'd only ever seen once before (Kushina-san had once said that the Kyuubi host took on aspects and abilities of the Fox, like her red hair, like the ability to shape-shift; but if the Sharingan and Byakugan could come from demons, surely a shape-shifting ability could become a family trait as well?), but her knack for it was something else, something even Kushina-san would have had trouble keeping up with. She was special.

The window was interesting; it was covered with seals to keep the glass from breaking and the window from opening without the proper release. That had been one of the first things Sensei had done when he'd gotten into the office of Hokage: he'd overhauled all the seal work in the village, modernizing and strengthening it with the help of his wife. His wife who looked an awful lot like Hisoka. And Sensei looked an awful lot like Naruto (except for his face, which could be mistaken for that of another). But he needn't worry, because nothing had happened (except it did). Kakashi's heart raced as the sky turned a bright blue (blue like Sensei's eyes, like Naruto's eyes, like the Chidori he almost—!). He didn't. Because – because – Tsunade had stopped him. Stopped him from doing something bad, something terrible. He was thankful, grateful. He just wished... he hadn't been thinking, really. One moment he'd been staring at his lover's face, and the next it was his former student's. The hair and eye colour were different, definitely. Except... the face was exactly the same. Naruto... Naruto had looked just as heartbroken, just as... as scared as Hisoka had. And Kakashi had nearly killed him. Because Naruto was a notorious prankster, and sometimes pranksters pulled cruel jokes. Even if the Hokage was there. Even if the face was exactly the same (and Sensei would kill him and Kushina-san would cut off his balls and stomp on his dick). But Tsunade had stopped him, because angry at a renowned prankster or not, killing your fellow Leaf-nin was treasonous and Kakashi had always been and would always be loyal. Hisoka... she was different from anyone he'd ever met. She was sweet and kind and gentle despite being a ninja. She was conservative and didn't flash her skin like most kunoichi. She was... innocent. She was innocent and Kakashi had taken that innocence for himself, keeping her to himself, not introducing her to his... friends... no matter how much they'd begged to meet his girlfriend. Kakashi hadn't wanted to share her. If Hisoka had met his friends, she'd be corrupted, she'd be pulled into their world... she'd leave him for someone else, someone better. Because Kakashi's friends might be ninja, but they weren't half as fucked up as he was. And Hisoka deserved so much more... but he was selfish, and he wanted her for himself. Except now he didn't have her at all, and... and he didn't know if he ever had. Because she wasn't real (nonononononono!). She was just a Henge made by a scared kid who'd wanted to hide, to be normal. (Hadn't Hisoka asked him if he'd ever wanted to be someone else?) And Kakashi... Kakashi was alone. Again. Like always. (But why did it hurt so much this time?)

A bit short, but at least it's out early! The final chapter's going to take a bit more time to write (I'm having a bit of trouble with it), but it WILL be out by Christmas. Hopefully by the end of the week, but we'll see.