Disclaimer: I don't own anything about Total Drama or Kingdom Hearts
Xxx
"I heard you signed up for the next season of Total Drama." LeShawna said over the phone. "I got to ask just because I consider you a friend but girl are you crazy?"
Gwen smiled. "I probably am, Shawnie. I probably am. But I have some unfinished business that I want to take care of."
"Unfinished business? What could…This is about Courtney, ain't it?" LeShawna realized what was Gwen's motive. "You're actually going to try and make up? I think it's sweet and all but that spoiled rich girl's probably going to try and rip your face off when she see's you again."
"She probably will but I have to try, Shawnie. I made a mess of our friendship after I tried so hard to earn her trust." Gwen sighed sadly. "One second of weakness and everything is screwed up."
"I heard Duncan signed up too."
"Yeah, because of me." Gwen closed her eyes.
"That's gonna make things awkward, you know." LeShawna pointed out.
"Believe me, I know. I'm just going to have to find a way to keep Courtney from getting anymore upset. I'll have to put my relationship with Duncan on hold." Gwen shook her head.
"Good luck with that, girl." LeShawna chuckled. "I don't think there's anyone brave enough to storm that battlefield alone."
"Yeah. Will you and the others shed some tears for me at my funeral if I don't make back?" Gwen joked.
"If you promise free sandwiches I'll shed two tears." LeShawna laughed.
Gwen chuckled. "Deal."
"Just watch out. I hear Heather's signing up too. You'll be on your own against two psychos without any help." LeShawna warned.
"I can look after myself, Shawnie. Trust me, Heather's the least of my problems. By the way, did you watch any of the episodes of the season four?" Gwen changed the subject.
"Nah, I didn't care much. Why?"
"No reason. I'm just curious because there are contestants from that season participating in this season too. I've been watching repeats of season four to try and understand the new guys." Gwen explained as she leaned back on her bed.
"That's a smart move, girl. Get some friends on your side." LeShawna praised.
"That and I was curious. After all we went through and three seasons you've got to wonder what poor souls signed onto a show with Chris." Gwen smirked.
"Yeah. They probably never knew what hit them." LeShawna agreed. "Still though, I'm impressed they survived the island, considering what Chris did to it."
"I'm a little surprised they actually let him out of jail." Gwen commented. "I actually did a victory dance when I heard they threw him behind bars. Why didn't we try to do that?"
"Too many blows to the head?"
"Maybe. Anyways, I'll see you after the show and hopefully I'll make things right with Courtney and win the million dollars." Gwen shrugged. "Who knows?"
Xxx
"Last time on Total Drama: Birth by Sleep. Gwen and Terra both took on a couple of monsters to save a group of Princesses along with a surprise bride: LeShawna."
Gwen and Terra facing down the Symphony Master and the Cursed Coach while Finn and Jake fought the Ice King to save LeShawna.
"Along the way Gwen faced down her old friend: Courtney."
Gwen and Courtney clashing their Keyblades.
"And another Princess of Heart of Heart was discovered."
Marceline helping Gwen move the princesses out of the Ice King's Palace.
"In the end Gwen and Terra kicked butt and sent the Villains packing. Seriously, are they ever going to catch a break?" Chris laughed. "And then we took a break to check on Zoey and how she was holding up in Megaville and boy did she impress. She fought alongside the pilot of the super destructive robot Megas, helped Dexter, the self proclaimed Boy Genius rescue his girlfriend, the Powerpuff Girl Blossom who turned out to be a Princess of Heart too!"
Blossom struggling to fight off Bell.
"Four Princesses of Heart have been found and three more to go. Now that we've checked in on Gwen, Terra and Zoey, it's time to check on Mike. What will we expect from him? What world will he arrive on and what crazy action can we expect from him? And what have Gwen and Terra been up to this whole time?" Chris asked as he spread his arms out. "Find out now, on Total..Drama…Birth By Sleep!"
Xxx
Gwen closed her eyes as she held a gem in her hand and called out the name of its owner in her mind. 'Madame Web!'
A fog engulfed her and before was the familiar table with a crystal ball and behind it was the web patterned chair with its owner sitting on it as usual. "Greetings, Gwendolyn. It's been some time since we last spoke."
"Yeah it has." Gwen nodded. "I need your help."
"You seek to find a sanctuary for your two friends that you discovered on the world of Ooo." Madame Web spoke knowingly.
"I won't even ask how you know but yes." Gwen nodded. "I can't leave them there. Not with dangers like the Unversed running around."
"Hm…There is a way." Madame waved a hand and two gems appeared in a flash of light on the table.
"What are these?" Gwen looked over the gems.
"Summon Gems are special gems that contain the hearts of beings that were able to survive the destruction of their world by the Darkness but unlike you and the others they lost their physical forms. As you know it's unsafe for your friends to travel with you to other worlds as they lack the proper training and protection to travel through the Lanes Between. Use these to safely transport your friends." Madame Web explained.
"And they will work?" Gwen asked as she took the gems in one hand.
"Yes and so as long as the gems are with you so are your friends." Madame Web nodded.
"Thank you, Master." Gwen bowed her head.
"Good luck Gwen. You are doing well in protecting the worlds." Madame Web said as she vanished into the same fog that had summoned her.
'Wizards and witches always pull that same disappearing act.' Gwen thought with a smile as she looked down at the gems.
"Gwen?" Gwen looked over at LeShawna who had just seen her friend be engulfed by fog and vanished for a moment. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, Shawnie." Gwen nodded with a smile. "I'm better than okay."
Xxx
The next world Mike arrived was more calm and normal like than the world of Atmos. It was a simple suburb looking town that Mike managed to remember despite not remembering everything about his home world. It was also peaceful and quiet.
"Well, I better around and-WHOA!" Mike stopped as he spotted a house with its backyard ruined.
The house suffered a lot of damage with an ice cream truck in the backyard. Not only this but a water main was broken, causing a flood near the woods and oddly enough there was a canoe by another broken house.
"What happened here?" Mike wondered.
Xxx
A tall yellow skinned boy wearing a red and white striped shirt, blue pants, and a green jacket burst into his room, knocking the door off its hinges and into the back wall. He spotted it and tried to run through it but instead ran into the bricks that make up his basement. Stumbling backwards, he looked down at his shoe and ripped it off before trying to get his sock off with his teeth. As he worked to get it loose, he hops around his room, destroying it.
Finally getting his sock off, Ed grabs two comics and his Baron O' Beefdip model.
"Trouble! Bad!" Ed cried as he picked up some random joke."Pain!"
Ed put some bread into a toaster and set it to go off before grabbing a bag and stuffing it full. Spotting his chair, Ed shook the assorted items and the stuffing out of it into the bag and shoved the chair into the bag. He then rushed into the bathroom and tore down the drywall to reveal his sponge collection. The toast popped up, and Ed quickly grabbed the hot bread, buttered it, and tossed it into his bag.
He pulled the bag out of the wall and grabbed his sponges before running off.
Xxx
Ed was not the only one who was oddly distressed.
A boy wearing a shirt short sleeved shirt, purple shorts, socks, and shoes with a black sock like hat covering his head was in his room, whimpering. A bunch of clothes were on his bed, next to an empty suitcase. He is trying to write a goodbye note.
"Beloved parents. By the time you read this, I will be long–far–oh dear." Edd stopped and picked up the note, folded it, and put it in the trash along with many other failed attempts before starting again. "Dearest Mother and Father. It is with great sh-shame..."
Edd put down his pen and began to cry.
Pulling himself together he tried again."That I regretfully con-fess...to..."
Tears started to leak out.
"I regretfully confess to my involvement in the inexcusable, unconscionable, reprehensible, abhorrent, detrimental, detestable, immoral, thoughtless, hurtful–" Edd's writing became jagged, as he stopped when it became too much. "Oh, what have we done!? GGGGAAAAAAAHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Edd gave in and burst into tears. Suddenly, his door burst open. Edd froze looked behind him with the belief it was truly the end but found a short reprieve when he saw it was a worried Ed.
"Dah-houble D!" Ed cried.
Xxx
Across the street a short boy with pink skin, three strands of hair spiked up, and wore a yellow shirt with a red stripe down side and purple V-necked collar; blue pants with a pocket hanging out and red shoes struggled to shove all of his personal things into his suitcase. He quickly tried to slam the overstuffed case shut which barely closed. He tried to lift it, but found it too heavy. Suddenly, it burst open, scattering its contents all over the room. Eddy lied in the center of the room as magazines and clothes fell on him, imagining how long it was before he was found.
He shot up just as he heard a banging at his door. Eddy leapt up, terrified and quickly grabbed the vacuum cleaner and affects a falsetto.
"Um, my little Eddy's not home right now!" Eddy said in a high pitched girlish voice, trying to sound like his mother.
The door shot open.
"DON'T HURT ME!" Eddy screamed as he dove behind the vacuum.
Ed came in with a large bag. "Trouble! Bad!"
Ed tripped over the vacuum and landed on Eddy. The vacuum exploded in a blast of dust that covered the room
"It wasn't my fault, I swear!" Eddy begged but stopped when he recognized Ed's voice and glared up at him."Ed, you idiot!" He jumped up and started grabbing his stuff again."I thought it was those sore losers!"
"What do we do, Eddy? What do we do?" Ed cried.
"What happened to Sockhead?" Eddy asked as he ran around the room.
Ed reached into his bag and pulled out Edd.
"Here, hold this!" Eddy handed the suitcase to Edd.
Edd then remembered what was happening. "We're fugitives, Eddy! Are you aware of the consequences we're about to endure? All because of our misguided chicanery!"
The Eds froze as they saw a shadow pass by the blinds.
"Too late! Quick, my brother's room!" Eddy dropped his suitcase and ran to the door.
The Eds rushed out of Eddy's room and head down the hall. They came to the front door and skid to a halt; as something outside is hammered on it, trying to get in. Eddy quickly pulled his two friends up the stairs. The door burst open behind them, but the Eds continue running and didn't look back.
They found the door to Eddy's Brother's room, and Eddy slowly opened the door. The door creaked open, and Eddy peeked in. He looked around the darkened room as if he believed someone was already inside. Seeing nobody, he slipped in.
"Eddy, do you think this is wise?" Edd asked as he followed Eddy in.
"They'll never find us in here!" Eddy whispered as he rummaged through the closet. "Ah-ha!"
He taped the wallpaper to the door very poorly.
"Ssh!" Eddy closed the door.
The lights click on in the room. Eddy quickly shut all the locks before huddle together with Ed and Edd in the center of the room, waiting for the coming storm and hoping it will pass them by.
"This is all your fault, Sockhead!" Eddy whispered to Edd.
"My fault? Funny, isn't it, how it's always my fault when yet another of your amazing scams goes awry!" Edd whispered back, shocked that Eddy would blame him.
"Yeah, well, I didn't see you stop me! You shoulda known it would go bad!" Eddy retorted.
"Boy, did it go bad." Ed agreed.
They stopped talking as they heard something. There was a creaking and some noises outside. Eddy looked up and spotted a congratulatory glass on top of the fridge. He pushed Edd to the door, and a piece of toast fell off Edd's back that came from Ed's bag. Eddy handed Edd the glass and gestures for him to use it to listen.
Edd put the glass to the door and his ear to the glass while Eddy stashed himself in Ed's pocket. All three Eds were sweating as they listened for any noise. Suddenly, a crunch comes, and Edd's eyes turned inwards. Eddy looked up and saw it was Ed eating the toast. Edd, now standing in a puddle of his own sweat, dropped the glass. The door suddenly shook with a loud thug as something pounded on it from the other side.
"We are not long for this world!"Ed cried as he darted around the room, trying to find shelter.
"The window!" Edd pointed at the window covered by purple blinds.
Edd rushed over and parts the curtains only to find that it's been bricked up. Eddy ran up to try and push the bricks out of the way.
"What's with my brother and these stupid bricks?!" Eddy cried as he backed away with Edd behind him
They tripped over the rug and it rolled up, revealing a vent.
"Eddy, look! This heat vent will lead to an escape!" Edd pointed down at the vent.
"Over here, guys! My lumpy mutated horsie will save us!" Ed shouted as he sat on the stuffed camel.
The wooden bar broke, and a foot kicked through the doorknob.
"Eddy! The door won't hold for much longer!" Edd screamed.
"Don't just stand there! Do something!" Eddy shouted as he tried to pull the vent out.
Edd grabbed onto Eddy and pulled, trying to work the grate loose.
He looked over to Ed, who was trying to get the camel to run. "Giddy-up, horsie! Do not let your mutated lump slow you down!"
Ed fell off the camel and slammed into the wall. He hit what looked like a fire alarm and slid down. Edd and Eddy, meanwhile, finally get the vent cover loose, and Eddy leaps in only to find that his brother bricked up the vents as well.
"More bricks Double D!" Eddy exclaimed when he saw bricks under his feet, cutting off their escape.
"Ooh ooh oh! This-a-way, guys!" Ed grabbed them and showed them the alarm."Look!"
"In case of story break glass?" Edd asked, reading the label.
"Bingo!" Eddy grabbed the hammer and broke the case."My bro's always prepared!" He reached inside and pulled out a... "A keychain with a peanut at the end?"
"Cheap story." Ed commented, looking at the peanut.
An arm reached through the space where the doorknob used to be. It felt the chains before reaching down and lifting one of the bolts. The door creaked open a little more, as the kids tried to get into the room.
"Lemme through! End of the line, dorks!" Kevin shouted as he peeked inside.
The Eds screamed in fright and Eddy threw the peanut up into the air and it fell into Ed's mouth. Ed chocked for a second before opened his mouth with the peanut stuck between his teeth.
"It was just a scam, Double D! How did it go so wrong?" Eddy cried, holding onto Edd for dear life.
"Eddy, the laws of probability can be a real mean–" Edd started but was cut off by Ed.
"My mouth!" He said in a garbled voice.
Ed bit down on the nut, and the shell cracked, revealing a key.
"Eddy! A key!" Edd exclaimed.
"It must be for my brother's car!" Eddy turned to the car with the key in his hand.
A piece of the door broke loose as Eddy scrambled into the driver's seat.
"Eddy, we're too young to drive!" Edd protested.
"Get in, get in!" Eddy shouted from the driver's seat.
Ed dove into the backseat while Edd sat in the passenger seat.
Eddy fumbled with the key as he tried to start the car. "Come on!"
He finally put it in the ignition and turned it, but the engine barely coughed. Eddy tried again, and the engine coughed again.
"It's no use, Eddy!" Edd cried.
"It ain't workin!" Eddy kept trying.
The chains on the door broke as Rolf slammed his head through the door."Rolf's vengeance will be slow and painful, like Papa's charcoal anecdotes, Ed-boys!"
Rolf crashed through the door, and Nazz, Kevin, Jonny, and Plank follow him in. They were all severally bruised and injured which was no doubt caused by whatever the Eds had done. Kevin suffered burns, bruises, and a black eye with his clothes and hat torn and ripped. Nazz wore only a box over her body with her hair almost completely shaved off.
Johnny had a mouse trap on his finger and a bear trap on his head while Plank was cracked and chopped off. Rolf looked the worst as his body looked like something had bit parts of it, including his stomach off. Eddy and Edd screamed for their lives, thinking it was the end.
Ed plunged his feet through the car's floor."I am Ed! Cheese and macaroni!"
Ed ran forward, moving the car along with him. The kids grabbed on to the car as it broke through the doorway and smashed through the second floor, sailing outside.
Xxx
"Well, this is most normal looking world I've landed on." Mike commented as he walked down the sidewalk of the small suburb town he was in.
CRASH!
Mike yelped as he spotted a car with kids on it smash its way out of a house and fly onto the other end of the street.
"What the…" Mike trailed off in shock.
The impact with the wall shook the kids off, and they fall on the grass outside Eddy's house.
"They're getting away, guys!" Nazz shouted from the hole in Eddy's house.
The car twisted onto the road and slammed into a hydrant before turning and running into a garage. It then backs up and goes through a fence.
Rolf, meanwhile, let out a piercing whistle, and his pig galloped up to him. "Peel your onions Ed-boy. And cry." He jumped onto Wilfred. "There is no escaping the son of a shepherd!"
He rode off in hot pursuit of the car.
"Right behind you, man." Kevin and Nazz ran off after Rolf.
Sarah and Jimmy peek out from behind a house.
"Let's go see, Jimmy!" Sarah said.
Sarah and Jimmy raced to the sidewalk just in time to see the car go by, followed immediately by Kevin, on his bike; Rolf, on his pig; and Nazz, running after them.
"Yowzers! Whaddya think they did this time, Jimmy?" Sarah gleefully asked.
"Whatever it was, it must be worser than ever!" Jimmy commented with a smile.
Mike was silent as he watched kids chase after the car. "What kind of world have I stepped into-GAH?!" Something slammed into him, knocking him onto his back. "Ow!"
"Oh, sorry!" A young girl's voice exclaimed. Looking up Mike saw Nazz looking down at him with a concerned look. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm good." Mike said as he stood up, looking at Nazz and noticing her…appearance. "Uh…Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm…okay." Nazz blushed in embarrassment. "Sorry but I got to go!" She wheeled off after the red car, leaving a confused Mike behind.
The Eds trundled down the road Eddy at the wheel even though he was not actually driving.
"I think I'm gonna be sick!" Edd gulped.
"Not in my brother's car, you're not!" Eddy shouted.
Plank, ripped and torn and almost destroyed, landed onto the windshield.
"WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Edd and Eddy screamed from the smiling face staring at them.
"BBBWWWWWWAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Ed followed their example as he swerved, scared out of his mind.
The car almost hit Johnny as it swerved past him.
"Let em have it buddy!" Johnny shouted.
But Mike ended up in its path.
"Yikes!" Mike yelped and jumped up, landing on the back of the car. "Whoah!" He slipped back and fell into the back of the car without the Eds noticing.
Rolf and Kevin rode into a field. Kevin skidded his bike to a stop to get a better look where the Eds where. The car jumped, and landed on the fences bordering the lane. Rolf chased them, pulling on Wilfred's ears to coax out more speed. Wilfred sped up, and they approach the car's rear. Eddy meanwhile looks out of the window. He looked down, and his eyes bulged.
The wheels were just barely staying on the top of the fence. One false move and they will fall to their quite probable deaths.
"So much undone! Unsaid! Mother and Father will be so annoyed!" Edd lamented.
"Yowch!" Ed shouted when he felt something biting down on his leg.
Rolf had clamped down on Ed's leg with his teeth. The only thing propelling the car now was pure momentum.
"They got me, guys!"Ed began slipping down "I'm a goner! Save yourselves! Don't forget about me!" Ed finally slid out of the car. "See ya."
"Ed!" Edd and Eddy each grabbed an arm and pulled.
They painstakingly yanked Ed back into the still-moving car, although Rolf refused to let go. Suddenly, Ed's leg slipped out of Rolf's teeth, and the Eds slipped back into the car. At this moment, they reach the end of the fence and flew out over a dumpster.
"Curse you Ed-boys!" Rolf shouted before slamming into the dumpster.
The car sailed into the woods, hitting many trees along the way and snapping them. The Eds screamed as they flew through the woods and fly over a ravine into the junkyard. The wheels continue to carry them forward until Ed resumed his position as the motor and runs again. They passed by a mountain of trash, not knowing that they were being watched.
Kevin was perched on top of a mountain of junk with his bike. He saw the Eds in their car pass by and snarled.
Xxx
Nazz was skating down the lane, following Wilfred's tracks. She found the dumpster with Rolf's indentation and stopped. Rolf was nowhere to be seen, meaning he had long left in trying to catch up to the Eds.
Jonny then ran up carrying Plank, gasping for breath.
Xxx
Eddy peered over the steering wheel as they rushed through the junkyard. Suddenly, Kevin came out of nowhere and slammed their vehicle from the left, shaking them and sending them skidding.
"Oh, help me!" Ed cried.
"Oh dear, now what?!" Edd exclaimed.
Eddy looked out the window and spotted Kevin. Kevin then hit them again, and the car once again skids from the blow.
"He's a maniac, I tell ya!" Eddy screamed.
Kevin slammed into them a third time, and this time they start to spin in circles. The car hit another mountain of trash, and it acted like a ramp. The car leapt into the air and slipped upside down. As it does this, Edd turned green, and Eddy flew past him and out the window, still clinging to the wheel.
The car landed on two wheels and continues to drive this way. Eddy is on the right side and is forced to run with the car.
The car turned left, as Kevin followed with Rolf bringing up the rear, having managed to rejoin the chase. "Run like well-worn stockings, Wilfred!"
Ed released the car door briefly and grabbed at the steering wheel. He spun it rapidly, pulling Eddy inside. Ed then grabbed at the door and continued to run. They reached the edge of the junkyard and crashed through the fence.
The car drove down Peach Creek Estates and blasted through it, on the way wrecking some of the incomplete structures. Nazz and Jonny finally found them and rejoined the chase.
"Prepare for Rolf's water-laden bovine bladder!"
"Plank's freaking out!"
"Double D! You got any bright ideas?" Eddy asked desperately.
Edd answered by puking into a paper bag.
"How do you like your faces? Fried or scrambled?" Kevin shouted, pulling up to the car's side and startling the Eds.
Kevin grabbed the door and ripped it open.
"Ed! The door! The door, Lumpy!" Eddy screamed.
"Rolf will assist you with the Ed-boy flogging Kevin!" Rolf grabbed Wilfred and they rolled forward like a wheel.
"Go Rolf go!" Nazz shouted, wheeling after them with Johnny on her back.
Ed managed to shut the door, tearing it away from Kevin. Eddy quickly locked it and started to roll up the window.
"Ed! Fingers!" Edd pointed.
Ed jerked his fingers back as the window closed. Kevin leapt onto the car, and his bike wheeled off, coming to a stop against a sawhorse, perfectly parked. Rolf's wheel slammed into the back of the car, and he and Wilfred fly upward. The pig landed on the roof, and Rolf landed on the hood. Nazz reached their back and grabs onto the open trunk.
"You're going down, dudes." Kevin gripped the roof of the car.
The Eds looked up and spotted Wilfred's tail acting like a bottle opener on the roof. Rolf lifted the pig and tore the roof off, allowing the faces of the Eds' enemies to leer in.
"Time for payback!" Kevin growled.
"Plank wants first crack at em!"Johnny shouted.
"Rolf will use their hides as a crutch for Nana's goiter!" Rolf bellowed.
"Like, thanks for the help up here, guys? Duh!" Nazz complained.
"Uh excuse me?" Everyone stopped and looked at Mike who sat up in the back seat. "Can anyone tell me what's going on?"
"Who are you?" Eddy asked.
"The guy you nearly ran over on the side of the street." Mike answered. "What's going on here?"
"What's going on is that these dorks are about to get what's coming to them!" Kevin growled as he looked back down at the Eds.
"It wasn't me! Eddy did it." Ed ducked into his jacket.
"In your dreams! It was Double D." Eddy timidly gestured to Edd.
Eddy ducked into Ed's sleeve. Edd is about to say something when he sees that they are approaching the playground.
"Um, excuse me. I'll be right back." Edd said with a nervous smile.
He leaned out the window and grabbed onto the merry-go-round. Centrifugal force was quick to act on the car, as the kids were slowly sent flying away from it while the Eds and Mike hang on for their lives. Rolf's pig Wilfred is the first to fly off.
"Hang on buddddyyyy!" Johnny screamed.
The roof tore off, and Rolf, Nazz, Jonny, and Plank fly away with it.
"You dorks ain't seen the last of me!" Kevin screamed as he felt his grip starting to slip.
Kevin was finally torn off by the pressure, and he flew off and slammed into the slide. At this point, the pressure on Edd was too great, and he let go of the merry-go-round as well. The car flew into the air and over the forest.
The last thing they heard was Kevin's voice screaming after them."DOOOOORRRRRKKKKKKKSSSSSS!"
Xxx
Kevin screamed at the sky and threw his wrench onto the ground, furious that the Eds managed to escape from their rightful beatings.
"Kevin!" Nazz called out. "Kevin! Where are you?!"
Jonny groaned as he pulled himself out of a hole in the road.
Kevin grunted as he stomped over to his two friends and Johnny."I can't believe it! I almost had em! We can't let this go, man. Not after what they did!"
Sarah and Jimmy tiptoed around a corner of the fence to get a better look.
"What do we do now? Wait for them to come back?" Nazz asked as Kevin helped her up, and she began to cry."'Cause I got like a million things to do! Hair extensions, exfoliating scrubs, spray tan, fingernails glued and polished, a pustule of–"
"Shed tears no more, fussbucket Nazz-girl. Rolf will unearth the Ed-boys and squash them like the parasite that infests Wilfred's tuchis! This is Rolf's word! Dawg?" Rolf ended his vow with an attempted slang.
"They're gonna wish they never messed with Nazz Van Bartonschmeer!" Nazz exclaimed.
"I ain't goin near that one with a ten-foot pole, buddy." Johnny said to his wooden partner.
…
"Say what?" Johnny looked down at the hunk of wood.
…
"You're reading my mind, Plank! It's time to call in the special forces." Johnny whispered.
"Those thieves couldn't have got far. I'm getting my bike!" Kevin ran off to grab his bike.
"Yes! Rolf will draw forth the–"
"Wait up Kev!" Nazz hurried after Kevin.
"Rolf will draw forth the pitchfork of retribution!" As Rolf ranted Jonny snuck away. "The Ed-boys shall riddle Rolf's rind no more! Wilfred! To the shed!" Wilfred popped out of the ground and crawled towards Rolf, squealing.
"Pigs are so gross." Sarah flinched.
"Golly gosh, Sarah, they're gonna hunt down the Eds! What on earth did they do?" Jimmy asked, wondering what the Eds could have done that was so bad compared to the shenanigans they've done in the past.
"I don't know, Jimmy." Sarah answered, wondering the same thing as Jimmy.
"Think of what they'll do to them, Sarah! It'll be worse than soap in your eye! Worser than polyester chafing!" Jimmy exclaimed.
"Let's have a picnic and watch!" Sarah said with a big smile, never passing up a chance to see an Ed thrashing.
Jimmy paused before squealing happily. "Oh yay, Sarah! I wouldn't miss this Ed-thrashing for all the shoulder pads in the world!"
Xxx
The car sailed through the air until Peach Creek was a dot in the distance. After a moment of flight the car crashed down in the middle of a desert. Eddy adjusted the rear-view mirror while Edd and Mike heaved themselves up as Ed continued to carry the car.
"Ha! We lost them!" Eddy laughed loudly.
"How can you be so certain, Eddy?" Edd asked.
"Those chumps'll never catch us now! From here on out, it's nothing but smooth sailing." Eddy continued, not seeming to hear Edd's concerns.
"Look out!" Mike exclaimed as the car crashed into a giant rock.
The rock tipped over and the car exploded, sending its passengers except for Edd flying down onto the ground. Mike hit the ground face first and groaned as he sat up. Looking he saw Ed wiggle his way out of an exhaust pipe and saw Eddy's hair sticking out from the inside of a car door. Ed rolled the window up and Eddy popped out.
Eddy groaned as he looked around and then turned to Ed. "Way to go, lummox! The only rock for miles and you had to hit it!"
Edd was still in his seat as the seat belt saved him from falling. "Seat belts are a trusted friend!" The belt gave away and he plunged to the ground with the others. "Aah!" He hit the ground and the three stared at him before he suddenly popped up. "I've followed all the rules! Lived a life of decency and principal! So why didn't I trust my instincts that one day these short sighted shenanigans would go TOO FAR!" Edd yelled out after a moment of silence.
"Double D's dark side makes my armpits sweat." Ed hid behind Eddy.
"What doesn't?" Eddy snorted as he stepped away from Ed in disgust.
"Lost souls are we gentlemen! Doom for eternity!" Edd fell to his knees.
"Lighten up, Sockhead. Hasn't Eddy always steered you right?" Eddy pulled Edd by his sock/hat up to his knees. "Don't answer that."
Ed was about to speak but something caught his attention.
"How can you say that Eddy?" Edd asked incredulous at Eddy's nonchalant attitude. "We're outcasts! Exiled from our own home with nothing but our clothes, shame, and guilt!"
"Lighten up Sockhead! Hasn't Eddy always steered you right?" Eddy replied nonchalantly as he helped Edd up. "Don't answer that."
"Oh oh! If I might partake in this chat? Could we not joineth the circus? Eddy could be the world's-" Ed grabbed Eddy and made him look like an elephant. "Shortest elephant! And you Double D can be the clown!"
Edd looked thoughtful. "I guess one could get used to the confining nature of tights."
"Talk about stupid." Eddy grabbed his friends. "If we're goin anywhere, I know a place so out of the way, it's practically invisible."
"Dare I ask?" Edd clutched his forehead before turning back to Eddy, grinning. "And?"
"Yeah, Eddy. And?" Ed asked.
"And..." Eddy clutched them close. "If any of those losers find us there, they'll be mailed back to Peach Creek in a body cast."
"Where we goin, Eddy?" Ed asked.
Eddy walked a few feet away before leaping into the air to deliver his pronouncement. "My big bro's place!"
Edd looked downhearted "Eddy, I have my doubts your brother would offer us sanctuary."
Eddy waved off Edd's concern. "What, are you kiddin me? We're kinda connected! Like twins! Brain wave stuff! He's talkin to me right now! C'mon!"
"Oh boy oh boy!" Ed looked giddy.
"He's waitin for us!" Eddy ran off.
"Eddy's brother is so cool!" Ed exclaimed.
Ed ran off, leaving Edd and Mike with the destroyed car.
"They're perky." Mike commented making Edd jump. "You guys forgot I was here, didn't you?"
"Uh…My apologies. It seems our situation has left us lacking manners. I am Edward but my friends call me Double D." Edd offered a hand which Mike shook. "And my two friends who just ran off are Ed and Eddy."
"I'm Mike." Mike said with a smile. "I just stopped by looking for a friend of mine and I kinda got swept up in this whole adventure."
"My apologies for that. We didn't mean to harm anyone. Sadly though I'm afraid the others will not be so hesitant due to our misguided tomfoolery." Edd sighed sadly.
"What happened anyways?" Mike asked.
Edd sighed again as they started walking. "It's a long story."
Xxx
"Oh, so Mike's arrived in that world." Chris commented with a chuckle. "He couldn't have picked a better world to land on."
"So which of us is going after him?" Heather drawled.
"Well, considering that almost all of you have had a shot at taking the heroes out I've decided Lightning will be next." Chris turned and faced the Dark Keyblade Warriors.
"Awww-Yeah! Lightning's stepping up! Sha-Bang!" Lightning laughed as he pumped a fist into the air.
"Just remember, Lightning. You're supposed to test Mike's skills and find the Princess of Heart on that world." Chris reminded.
"Ain't nothing going to slow Lightning down." Lightning continued, not seeming to hear Chris's warning.
"Whatever." Chris shrugged.
Xxx
Rolf was looking through his shed for all the tools he would need for the Ed hunt. "Downtrodden rabbit radishes! Where are the Duke of Deli Meats' hearty edibles?"
As he looked for them, a long hedge rolled out. Jonny peeked out of it, spying his incomplete checkers game, he ran and hid under the board and then crawled off, carrying it on his back. Jonny ran into his backyard and pretends to nonchalantly swing. He slowly stopped and looked from side to side. Spying nobody, he yanked on one of the ropes holding the swing up twice. The swing responded by ascending skyward, and another one descended, carrying a replica of Jonny and Plank.
High in the tree, Jonny reached up and finds a bird's nest. He fiddled around the eggs until he found the one he wanted. He flipped it open and pressed a button, causing secret door to open in front of him on the branch he is balanced on. He slipped into it and enters an elevator. It dropped six floors, and Jonny exited into a dark room.
He turned on a lamp and picked up a magnet. The magnet pulled the bear trap from his head. He then proceeded to descend down a bunch of stairs that look like melons until he was in a giant, melon-themed chamber. He put Plank on a melon-shaped chair and spins it before going to another one, sitting on it, and spinning it as well. The floor opened beneath the chairs and they drop down into the holes.
Xxx
Outside the Melon Cave, a tree stump's top slides open and the two popped out. One of them was Johnny wearing a melon shaped mask, a green shirt and white pants with Plank on a stick wearing a white mask.
"Shed a tear, 'cause Captain Melonhead and Splinter the Wonderwood are here!" The hero proclaimed.
Captain Melonhead leapt forward only to slam into a fence, getting his head stuck between two boards, but he managed to pull it out. Unfortunately, on the way out, his mask gets twisted, rendering him blind.
"Holy Toledo, Splinter! My Melon Vision! It's gone!" Johnny cried out.
…
"Who's an idiot?" Johnny asked his partner.
…
Johnny turned his mask until he could once again see. He then grabbed his sidekick and took off.
"It's Melon time! Hoop-ba-da, hee hee hee!"
As Captain Melonhead raced off to find the Eds a purple puddle came out of the ground where he had been previously standing, taking the form of a Flood Unversed.
Xxx
Nazz and Kevin were tearing down the road on Kevin's bike, looking for the Eds. Nazz was wearing some clean clothes with a bandana covering her head while Kevin was wearing non-ripped versions of his old clothes with a new hat. They drove past the school, reached a turnoff and took it. Nazz is smiling until a bug hits her which she quickly got off her face. This is followed in short order by several more. Bugs were hitting Kevin as well, but he doesn't seem to care.
"Major so gross, Kevin. These bugs are like freaking me out!" Nazz cried out.
"Get a grip, Nazz! This rage train ain't stoppin till I thump those three twerps! Whoa." Kevin exclaimed.
They literally ran into a gigantic cloud of flies. They hit it at full speed and went straight through it. When they came out, they were blanketed in dead flies.
"Kevin, stop!" Nazz exclaimed as Kevin blindly rubbed at his eyes. "AAAAHHHH!"
"AAAAAAHHH!"
The bike crash into a peach shed, sending the two passengers flying into the ground.
Nazz groaned as shegot up "Ow! That hurt!"
"Oh, man! I'm so sorry!" Kevin exclaimed.
"Oh, I'm okay." Nazz smiled as she held out her arms out for a hug.
"It was totally my fault!" To Nazz's shock he ran past her, towards his bike. "This can't be happening. My bike's thrashed!" He heaved it upright and begins to work on it with a wrench he pulled out from his pocket.
"Hello. Remember me?" Nazz asked, slightly hurt from how Kevin ignored her in favor of his bike.
"Nazz. We need to figure out where those foul-ups took off to and head em off. I'm pretty sure they won't be going back to the cul-de-sac. Not after what they did." Kevin said sourly.
Nazz scowled."That'd be the last thing they'd do. They're like such cowards."
"Good one, Nazz. Say, you got one of those hairpin things?" Kevin's compliment seemed to cheer Nazz up.
"Totally!" She handed one over, and Kevin rewired his bike.
"Cowards run and hide, right? So who's the one person in the world that Eddy trusts, 'sides his two loser pals?" Kevin asked thoughtfully.
Nazz was silent as she thought it over for a moment."What about his brother?"
"That little twerp wouldn't have the–" Kevin stopped and realized something. "That's it! They're going to Eddy's brother's place!" He grabbed Nazz in a hug. "Nazz, you're awesome, babe."
Nazz smiled and hugged back. Suddenly, Kevin throws her off as a look of panic appears on his face."HOLD IT! Eddy's brother will murder us if he finds out we're after his little brother! We're wasting time! We gotta get those dorks before they get there. If they get there before we get there, they'll never get theirs."
"What?" By this point Nazz was totally lost.
"Forget it!" He pulled her onto the bike. "We gotta go." The two set off again, riding the slightly more damaged bike with greater determination.
What Kevin and Nazz did not notice as they sped off was the purple puddle like substance that made it's way up Kevin's bike as he hastily repaired it.
Xxx
A giant stack of items slowly moved across the desert. On top of it was Rolf wearing a white hat with no shirt but a rabbit's pelt hung from his neck, directing it; on bottom, was Wilfred tugging it. The sack was full of various items and weapons that Rolf had gathered for his hunt. Rolf was following a trail of footprints; one foot was in a shoe, while the other was bare.
Suddenly, he spots a glint of metal up ahead, and he leapt off. He crawled on all fours and whispered to Wilfred. "We must not be seen, as the Ed-boys will surely flee, Wilfred! Lay low, and follow Rolf's posterior."
The two crept up on the rock. Suddenly, Rolf leaps out and brandishes his pitchfork, stabbing and slashing wildly like madman. "ED-BOYS! SHAKLAHAM! SHOOKEE! SHLOOHORM! DON'T EVER! DO THAT! AGAIN! SLAHEE FISHMONGER! Calle! Cai!" Rolf stopped and was panting as the adrenaline wore off. He then looked around and realized that there was nobody there. "The Ed-boys think they have played Rolf as a phony baloney. But they have yet to feel the wrath of this SON OF A SHEPHERD!"
Rolf took out a key and unlocked a suitcase on the pile Wilfred was carrying. He then took another box out and opened it, revealing six eggs. He took one out and looked around. Spotting the steaming engine, Rolf cracked the egg on it; the egg instantly to fry under the intense heat. He then walked over to one of the seats and takes out a canteen. Rolf opened the canteen and poured oil out of it, onto the seat. Once the canteen was empty, he threw it and the cork over his shoulder. The cork lodged itself in Wilfred's nose, and the pig begins to snort.
"Wilfred! You interrupt Rolf's study! Do you think this is party time for 1999? No!" Rolf turned back to the chair. Taking out a muffin, he proceeded to dab it in the oil. He then looked at it. "Ah ha."The egg finished cooking, and Rolf picked it up. He then proceeded to lay it on top of the muffin. Suddenly, Wilfred rammed into him from behind. Rolf dropped the muffin, and Wilfred scrambled over and eats it. "Wilfred! Has your think box collapsed? Do not eat Rolf's tell-all! Back, I say!"
Wilfred charged forward, pushing Rolf backwards.
"Wait–Wilfred, no!" He slammed into the car's trunk. "Accursed swine! Consider yourself stricken from the annual son-of-a-shepherd custard bake-off!" He then noticed the "Out of Order" label Edd stuck on the trunk. Peeling it off, he held in front of Wilfred to sniff it to get the scent. "We'll have the Ed-boys on a spit by nightfall!"
As Wilfred sniffed the label a small purple puddle shaped substance slowly came out of the shadow of the giant rock and snuck up the pile on Wilfred's back, settling into the pile where no one would see it.
Xxx
"All search parties now have an Unversed with them. We'll be able to sniff out who is the Princess of Heart of that world soon enough." Chris chuckled evilly. "What adventure awakens Mike on this world? Will he come any closer to finding Terra? Find out after the break on Total…Drama…Birth by Sleep!"